WEBVTT - No More Running feat. Marion Jones 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:04.280 She couldn't. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.840 She cleaned and cared for her children and the man 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.680 of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:12.240 She was both obedient and soft by nature. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:16.800 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:19.599 That shit, we're good Mom's bad choices too, single mom 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:22.320 who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:23.600 and sound out they were so bad. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.600 After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.080 Sit back and enjoy the ride. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:34.519 I can do it. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.159 I'm Erica and I'm Meila. 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:38.040 Happy Wednesday, bitches. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:41.000 It's Wednesday, y'all, and we're back in the studio. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.440 This is our girl Cave. If you haven't subscribed to 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:46.559 our YouTube channel, go ahead and subscribe. But if you're listening, 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:50.239 make sure you live a rating and review. You know 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.280 we always harass you to do it. Just stop what 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:53.680 you're doing right now, right now. 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:56.440 We don't harass them enough. We've harassed you previously. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:59.600 Literally just stop right now, right now. Pause, go leave 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.240 and sit subscribe, leave a call down. You have to 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:04.720 scroll up a few times. You have to scroll up 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:06.760 a few times and you're going to see the five stars. 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.280 Press five stars because you're listening, so obviously you enjoy it. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.000 Leave a cute review, doesn't have to be long, and 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:11.759 then come back here. 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:13.760 Because I read them and I would really like if 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.600 you personally left me a message and just like, hey, 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:16.880 you look so cute today. Thanks. 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.280 Well, they probably wouldn't see you on whatever. 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:24.960 Just pretend say sound good, Okay, Just leave the fucking review. 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:26.800 It means a lot to us. We're doing a lot 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.800 of work over here for free. We decorated, we use 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:31.039 our voice, we use our. 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:33.880 Time and energy. It costs money, and this costs you nothing. 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:35.800 We're spending our coins for you. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:39.080 We love you, but also make it counts, make it reciprocal. 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:40.039 Thank you, We love you. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.880 If you're in La area and you're thinking about studying 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.640 a podcast, come book. Good Good Media. We are located 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:50.320 in the Hollywood Hills of California, right across from Universal Studios. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.440 It's beautiful. We decorated ourselves. We have a fine man 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.480 who operates the cameras you can look at and we 0:01:56.560 --> 0:02:00.919 might be here so Good Good Productions will. 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.520 Roll your joints or not. If you don't smoke. That's 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:04.840 mine too. 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:09.000 Anyway, we're back in the studio. We have a very 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:11.280 very special guest today. I'm very excited. 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:16.320 I'm really excited because I'm fangirling because she was my 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.720 idol growing up. As a former track star. Myself, I 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:23.000 have a very short lived track star career. You don't 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:23.560 know this about me. 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:25.600 Oh apparently not. I learned to the new every day. 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:27.359 She's a soccer star track star. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:28.640 Now depends on the guests. 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:34.440 Anyway, I would like to welcome to the show, former 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.400 world champion chap track star. Also, I didn't realize you 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:41.680 played in the WNBA coach mother, motivational speaker, the one 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.080 and only Mary and. 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.279 Johnes recently podcaster. 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:51.799 Yes, overall icon first black female athlete on the cover 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:54.720 of Vogue, Darling. I remember that Vogue cover. That was 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:55.959 really beautiful, that red dress. 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.960 Yes, I wish I could get in that red dress. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.880 Now, good, you do look great? Really good? 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:02.920 How are you? 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.440 I'm I'm joyful. 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:06.880 Yeah, I'm happy. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:07.840 I am. You know. 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:10.639 I don't get back to Los Angeles very often, and 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:14.239 coming back home and just being in this space is nice. 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:16.880 But just kind of where I'm at in my world 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:18.520 is a joyful time. 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:21.880 I didn't realize that you were born here, like that 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:26.480 you are bor An La Native and lived in the valley. 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:31.640 Like us, we rarely get anyone others, particularly other black 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.200 women who are from valley. 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.240 So yeah, when you all said that you were from here, 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:35.560 I was like. 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.400 Wait, what, I know, it's very rares. Very well, it's 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.200 not rare anymore. I think there's a lot of black 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.680 people in the valley now, but like in the eighties 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:46.400 and the nineties and and before that, like, no, that. 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.840 Is I told her, gave the way, Yeah, trailblazers. Growing 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.280 up when when I I grow a person, so I 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.720 was like five. Growing up, I thought that all black 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:58.520 people nodded at each other, like in the mall in 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:00.920 public because my parent, my dad always to other black people. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.480 So now and like I'm always like to black people 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.920 and they're like, I'm like, what the fuck you didn't 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.400 get the memo we're in the valley. You fucking you're 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:09.920 not at me. 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:12.320 I think it's a man to man thing. 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.400 Oh yeah, or at least smile. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:16.479 But you know, I do think I would like to 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.920 say that we need to bring nodding to the women too. 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:20.640 We need to do an at least a great bab 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:26.880 like something like the men nod and the women do 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.400 you have to poke your lips out like that's the. 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:31.320 Stank poke. 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:32.800 Girl. 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:35.800 Hey, that's too much me. 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:44.200 Another black, another black fucking harlem shaking. Oh my god, 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:45.839 you're trying to take my man. 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:50.040 Oh my god, you start to shake, you know, your 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:51.720 titties start to move and. 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:57.360 Stuff ain't taking nobody's man. Want to cleave it out. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.320 This is a p s. A announcement to all black people, 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.560 people of color who live in places where you were 0:05:02.600 --> 0:05:06.800 the minority and there's mostly whites, you better smile or 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:10.120 nod or when you see another black person. It is 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:12.839 just the role of thumb. If your parents didn't teach you, 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.760 I'm gonna teach you. You always acknowledge another black person 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:17.360 just to say, hey, I got you. If something goes 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:18.640 down in this mall, I see you. 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:20.040 Well I think that's what I think. That's what it's 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:23.960 rooted in. What it's like, Hey, like there's there's a 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.560 few of us over there work Just in case there's 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:28.920 a few, I mean, I see, just in case I 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.160 acknowledge one, two, three, four, yep, counter. 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.720 Even like there's for a minute I started noticing people 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.760 like when all this twenty twenty, well, when the America 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:38.680 was happening, when I would see like a black person 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:40.400 pulled over, I would see other people like pull over 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.159 and just like kind of wait for them. Yeah, I 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.280 remember that too, or like sometimes like I would. One 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.200 time I went to the ATM. It was late at night. 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:47.760 I was with Luna and I went to the ATM 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.360 and I saw a guy like waiting for me, and 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:50.680 I was like, he's gonna fucking rob me. And then 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:53.800 I was like, oh no, he's been kind. He's looking 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:57.520 out for me. You know, like what bring back fucking 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.000 people at care like empathy and compass for other people, 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.200 especially the people that look like you. Because I feel 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:04.920 like we're moving into a place that's so New York 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.480 and so isolated, and it's like that's not the California 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:09.280 Way and it's definitely not the Black way. So get 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:10.520 your ship together, black people. 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:15.680 You tell them, girl, let them know which. 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.800 You know my middle names Asada, y'all, Oh God, here 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:21.599 we go. Don't start with me. 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:23.919 I'm just saying you should have run down all her credentials. 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:29.960 She was a server in Atlanta, Mida Jamaican Trey LAWNI 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.040 she's the sex of the podcast. 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:34.520 I'm gonna go there, but thank you for going down 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:36.039 the list. I was only going to say that my 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.800 middle name's Asada, okay, because I'm a black panther at heart. 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:40.520 If you want to go down the rest of my resume, 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:41.960 those are also very important things. 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:48.120 My hospitality got it, very top notch hospitality server here. 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:50.160 Ask about me Atlanta. 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.240 Put this on the comments. 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.760 You're in Atlanta in the two thousands and you saw 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:58.160 me at the hotels doing my thing. Put it in 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:59.839 the comments. Any of yer couldn't know what's up. I 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:01.839 know we all know. 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.600 We've all experienced it. Every person. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:07.760 My dad would be like, I know, we all know, 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:09.440 we all have heard it. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.320 At what point is it like like it's too far 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.200 in the past, so when you're like six years old. 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:17.240 You're still gonna be erased very soon. 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:18.440 What would ask? 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:20.480 They're erasing everybody mine. 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:22.600 That's That's why I'm a storyteller. This is this, you 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:23.920 know what, she could be a race. 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:26.920 I'm not mad at certain things being a race. 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:32.280 Every every story contributes to like the the final product 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:34.679 of like the meal. You know, every dash of salt, 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:36.840 even if he spilled too much that time, like it 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:39.600 always like it always equates to how we come to 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.200 show up at this point. So I'm not really about erasing. 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:44.560 I barely erase pictures of ex boyfriends and she because 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:46.200 I gotta remind myself, like, bitch, memory did it. 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.720 I'm gonna disagree. I'm all for expunging certain things that 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.880 expunging take it off the fucking record. 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:54.600 Okay, what would you take off? 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:01.480 I would take off. Oh yeah, one of my boyfriends, 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:03.880 the one with the one, the one with Michael Jackson impersonator, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:05.920 would be expunged because it was that. 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:07.520 His career, that was his career. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.880 Basically basically, yeah, he's still doing it. 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:12.600 He's very talented. Yes he looks like but he's a 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:16.880 questionable human and for some reason, everybody knows him and 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.000 every time I dated him. 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.120 And if you talk about him on here now everybody's good. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:22.400 You guys, please look. 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:26.280 At up everyone time I mention him, and I because 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:28.120 I now, I mention it because I'd like like to 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.000 get a kick out of it, because people are like, oh, yeah, 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:31.400 I know, blah blah blah, and I'm like, yeah, I 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:32.760 used to date him. They're like, what the fuck? 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.080 When you told me that, I was like, do we 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:37.280 need to be friends? Still? Do you? Would you expunge 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:38.640 anything from your life record? 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:39.760 Oh? 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:45.480 Yes, the same thing, so a few relationships. But I'm 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.600 similar in the thinking, like what you said, like everything 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:53.160 is creates where I'm at now, it doesn't mean that 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:54.040 it doesn't exist. 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.000 It means it doesn't exist for everyone else to view. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.720 I'm not saying that deletes from me, and I'm blacking 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.880 it for publicly. Okay, well yeah you no, No, I 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:05.960 think that you know everything. Everything you do leads you 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.360 to where we're at right in this very moment. So yes, 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:11.280 but we could have left mister Michael Jackson, I personator 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:12.680 off the record. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.200 I'm gonna have to get to Google, and I'm gonna 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:16.520 have to get to I'm gonna have to go down 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.920 this rabbit. I'm gonna have to go down this rabbit. 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.160 Marian, It's really all over. I was proud, I will 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:29.320 stalk in my defense, I was like seventeen, okay, and 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.600 he was much older than me, and he tricked me. Okay, 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:33.640 he was taking me to nice dinners and I was 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.040 in high school, take flying me out to Vegas and 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:39.840 I was in high Yeah, I was at my dad's house. 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.840 Oh my god, I'm so happy I'm not the only 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.040 fucking badass teenager who was literally lying about being in 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.520 the state. I was literally underage and flying to Philadelphia 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.760 to go see like drug dealer and niggas that my 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:51.959 cousin cousin hooked. 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:52.080 Me up with. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.600 And I'm like, I'm that Daniell's No. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:57.120 Well, see, I would tell my dad. My parents didn't talk, 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.280 so I knew if I was at my dad's house 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:00.720 there was no way to was going to like reach 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:03.320 out and ask. So he was always my scapegoat. So 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.079 thanks Dad, Our kids. 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:07.440 Are being locked the fuck in the house. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:09.520 Hopefully they just tell us. 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:10.960 Yeah, my kid's pretty. 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:12.480 Are they on on social media? 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:16.080 Your kids like have her own account or you let 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:17.040 them go go on there. 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.680 I mean, well, Erica just exposed my daughter that she 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:21.599 had a TikTok recently, and I remember it on the 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:23.400 way to school yesterday and I was like, she says 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.760 something about TikTok going getting banned, and I was like, 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:27.920 speaking of TikTok, do you have a TikTok? And she 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:32.200 was like, yeah, I know you did, because Erica told me. 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:33.480 She's like, I was like, why would you get to 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:35.480 TikTok And when you have a cover star, it's like 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:39.040 the kid when she's like, sorry, mommy, I just wanted 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.480 to see some of the songs. 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.360 I was like, did she go babyish when she. 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:49.200 Said she was going to delete it? It's Luna, I tried. 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:50.600 I saw you on TikTok last night. 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:51.720 Girl, last night. 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.520 She was she said she'd be saving things and liking 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.880 things on our page. That's how I found her on TikTok. 0:10:57.960 --> 0:10:59.439 I wasn't like looking for her page. 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:01.120 What do you mean she's save shit on our page? 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.360 She literally it said like Luna web or Luna with 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:05.679 like emojis. 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.000 And shit saved this video of ours. 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.240 Yes, but no, it's her videos on our page because 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:14.480 you know, our kids take our phones, create content and 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:16.840 post it without our consent. And I've had to like 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:19.440 tell her, like, girl, you can't just she'll like do 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.000 songs that are like inappropriate and like there's like one 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:25.840 like don't drop the soap in the shower and I 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:27.720 was like, and people were like, where's your mom, like 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:29.439 in the comments like go get your mom, and I'm like, 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:30.199 what the fuck. 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:31.760 Or she'll like. 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.880 Then Iri was posting kids from her school. I was like, babe, like, 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.760 you can't need my permission to post. 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.520 So yeah, like you know your mom's are famous. 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:41.560 How old are your kids? 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:43.440 Twenty one, seventeen, fifteen? 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.760 Okay? So there are they on the socials things. They 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:47.760 have their own accounts and doing all the things. 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.680 But like my village, my people are all follow them 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:54.120 and so and I do too, and so if anything 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:54.960 pops up, they're not. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:56.120 They barely. 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.640 They like to repost their friends stuff. 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:02.239 They're not doing too much original contents. Thankfully. 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:05.760 We're living in a weird time. You guys grow raising 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.000 kids in this time, but it's so different than like 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.640 what we grew up as. It's just like what the fuck? 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.640 Yeah, And I mean we chatted about it briefly, just 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:18.560 in terms of all the distractions they have now, right, 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.600 it's like for us, well, for me, there was no distractions. 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.520 It was get out when the light when the sun 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.160 comes up, you're outside, right. You don't even come inside 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:29.880 to go to bathroom, like when when street lights come 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.280 back on, you come inside, right, and there's no there's 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:33.520 no electronics or anything. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.760 And it's a much different time obviously. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.360 I mean I I Yeah, we were talking about that 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.640 because I was. I was telling her like I was 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.960 an athlete from the like from as early as I 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:45.840 could be an athlete pretty much like. And I don't 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.080 know if that was because of me. I'm pretty sure 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:50.120 it was because of my mom. My dad was also 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:52.920 a professional athlete as well, and so I think there 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.080 was just this assumption that I was supposed to do 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:56.280 that and I was going to be good at it 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:00.720 football and in track he ran track and in college 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.720 and yeah, it was this assumption that I was supposed 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.079 to be good at all these things, and I was. 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:09.400 I was good. And I think sometimes I even regret. 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.240 I'm like, damn, I could have like probably like went 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.200 far if I just didn't start smoking weed. 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.800 Now your downfall it was, it was literally the next 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.400 Marion Jones. But I would have been I could have 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.360 I could have been the fastest woman in the world, 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.760 just like well never no, never, know it. 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:28.800 Wasn't for that devil cannabis. 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:30.079 No. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:32.400 But I think about my daughter and like, I just 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.360 I haven't really pushed it on her in that way. 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.720 And as I was driving here thinking about you and 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:40.680 thinking about me and my trajectory and how sports is 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.920 really was a major part of my life. And I 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.520 was thinking, I think sports was also such a an 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:50.160 activator in my confidence and working with people and like 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:54.240 you know, working for a common goal. I actually didn't 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.560 like track that much because it felt I felt so 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:58.560 alone in it, like because I was doing like the 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.320 one hundred to two hundred maybe the four by what 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.640 I did love, but I felt like, oh my god, 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:03.240 it's all on me. 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:04.280 Like fuck. 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:07.679 But I was like, oh my god, am I had 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:09.280 I too late? Is my daughter not going to be 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:10.800 a track star? Is she not going to be in 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:12.319 the WNBA because it has been playing? 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:15.000 Stressed too much about in terms of not like pushing 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:16.560 her because nobody like pushed me. 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:18.959 Yeah, how I was just exposed to it. Like my 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.280 stepfather loved. 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.960 The Dodgers and love the Lakers, and we would go 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:26.680 to games and he would sit down after the races 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.920 and the competitions and the games and he would force 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:30.760 the only thing he would force me to do is 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:35.120 watch the post game interviews. And I never understood then, 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:38.160 but he was teaching me how to be humble. He 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.800 was teaching me how to communicate my thoughts. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.160 And my ideas right and the more that I'm. 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.080 Around it, like, and that's just the same thing with 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:47.880 my kids, Like I don't push them to do anything, 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:48.720 but it's. 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:49.400 Always on the TV. 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.640 We're going to games, we talk about it. They're exposed 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:53.880 to it, they understand it. 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.920 So yeah, I mean, it's turn a game, man, you know, 0:14:58.120 --> 0:14:59.320 go to a game. I know, you know. 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:02.480 I think my daughter affinity to basketball really is because 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:06.400 her dad loves basketball so much. And that's like, girl, 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:10.400 I would say, so, and that's there, that's their time 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.480 together because I have her most of the time. So 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.800 when they are together like that, he's watching the game. 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:16.840 And so she's like she'll come home and be like 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.240 talking about all these basketball players' names, and I'm like, who, Like, you. 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:26.440 Don't know, Like, just give us one name, girl, Lebron. 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.040 I knew you so easy, Lebron. 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:37.720 That's all I got. She said, some guy Shaka Shaka one. Yeah, Luka, 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:39.360 the big one, the one that we were talking about, 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.080 the big white man. Yeah, okay, so yeah, thatman Russian 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.520 talk about. She was She's like, Luka Dagadogovich got traded 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.000 to the DA he got the biggest contract and blah 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.520 blah blah, and I was like, what, Okay, you are 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:53.200 living a whole other life at daddy's house because I 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.480 don't know what the you're talking about. But she wanted 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.400 to play basketball and that's kind of their thing too, 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.920 Like he'll take her to practice and he is psycho 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:02.160 when he's at the game, Like at the practices, he's 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:05.520 super intense yelling at her and I'm like whoa, and 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.600 she's listening. So I'm like, Okay, maybe it's gonna work out. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:09.960 Because you don't want to listen to me when it 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:13.680 comes to sports. She'll be like, I'm like, I played soccer, 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.960 I know how to play this game. The difference. So anyway, 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:23.920 So Marian, tell us about your story. 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.480 I know it was almost a shock star for someone 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:27.840 you were. 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:29.800 You were almost a black panther. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.640 Missed my time. I might bring him back though black 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:35.240 panthers too. 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:35.840 I think it's time. 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.840 I think it's time. Think about time. 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:40.400 If you guys want to start the bake, I'll be 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:45.120 the Angela Davis here. Okay, we're bringing it back. 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:48.520 No, we're going to tighten up that fro though yea safe, 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:50.000 it'd be. 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.040 Safe enough so we don't get like go to jail. 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.080 But you know, yeah, I would love to know. Okay, 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:57.960 so you grew about here, how did you What was 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.720 your entry into sorts and track? 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.560 And yeah, you know, I'm all. 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:08.200 I'm from a single parent household. My mom who's originally 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:12.600 from Belize. Oh wow, Yeah, beautiful country in Central America. 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.159 She came up to the States when my brother was 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.199 I have one older brother, he's five years older than me. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.560 She came up to the States just for better life. 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:20.960 Started in New York. 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:23.480 A lot of Beligians, you know, start there, and then 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:27.040 she had family out here in California, Los Angeles areas. 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.200 So she came out here, met my father I was born. 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:31.800 They were divorced when I was. 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:37.399 Three, and yeah, she just started raising us, and I 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:39.879 just naturally gravitated towards it. You know, I have an 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:41.960 old he's five years older than me. So I like 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:44.560 to joke, but not really. When your older brother is 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:48.159 picking you to be on his neighborhood teams, you know 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:49.200 there's something a little. 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:52.320 Special, right, Like he was bypassing his buddies because. 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:53.679 He wants his little sisters chosen. 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.240 Yeah. Yes, like I'm good, I gotta be. 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.240 So just got involved in every sport. 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:05.800 My mom and my stepdad married, and he really was 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:07.920 the catalyst to getting me. 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:08.560 To love sport. 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:11.080 We would go to Dodgers games, we would go to 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.560 Lakers games, Clippers games. When they're at the sports arena 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:17.920 where they now, I don't know, they're. 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:25.000 Still slaying of the downtown. 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:30.360 They do, they're here. How old are you when your 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.120 mom married your stepdad? Hey, I must have been about four, 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:35.840 okay five so, and he was. 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:40.159 He was significantly older than my mom. He was former navy, 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.960 navy cook. So he would like, he's stay home, but 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:43.920 my mom had to work. 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:44.760 She would drive. 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.280 From the valley to Beverly Hills and then we moved 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.160 out to Palmdale. She would drive to Beverly Hills. 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.000 And what was she doing in Beverly Hills. 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:54.480 She's a legal secretary yep. 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.800 And she would commute and it was just a really 0:18:57.880 --> 0:18:59.359 good time in my life. 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:01.040 Yeah. 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:04.480 I love that you had like a stay at home dad. Yeah, 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.320 So like was that I guess was that did that 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.080 impact you in a way that it may be different 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:11.400 than it did? 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.560 I guess I never even really thought of it like that. 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:18.919 You know, he was just everything, you know, he was warm, 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:22.199 he was loving, he was intelligent, he could cook, and 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:23.760 he was when he was in the navy, he was 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.200 the cook like thousands of men. 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:28.840 Oh, I've shared this story. 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.080 Recently that you guys remember back in the day, there 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.800 was this a store called Fedco. 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:36.880 It kind of was like the Costco now. 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.080 They have Costco and Sam's Club now, but before then 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.560 it was Fedco. Anyways, he would go to Fedco and 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.159 he would load up on like meat that was on sale, 0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:47.080 just because he had a history of having to cook 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:48.400 for thousands of people. 0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:50.440 He would load it up in the freezer and he 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:52.120 would go bad and my mom would hate it. 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.320 Right anyways, the food was amazing. 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:59.879 I just I felt seen and heard and it was amazing. 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.440 And then he passed away when I was nine. 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:06.440 Oh damn yeah, and my mom was forced to be 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:11.160 single parent again. And at that point, my biological dad, 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:14.399 who was here in Los Angeles, had decided that he 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:16.880 wasn't a part of like wanted to be a part 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:20.520 of my life. My brother and I have different dads, 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:25.080 and I having my stepdad in my life and then not. 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:27.760 Having any father figure in my life. 0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:30.120 Even though I had a father, like a biological father 0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:30.680 who was alive. 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:33.040 We didn't want any parts of me. 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.800 It was just really hard, and my mom was dealing 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.399 with grief in her own way, and I was dealing 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.000 with grief in my way. And then I become a teenager, 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:44.160 and then you know teenage girls, shit hits the fan 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:48.040 and I don't know how to like what where to 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:50.960 turn to. But thankfully I turned to sport. 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:52.439 Like that was my. 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:57.400 Alcohol, that was my drug of choice, and I found 0:20:57.480 --> 0:21:00.200 that I was just very good from the beginning. 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:01.280 What was your first sport? 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:05.920 My first board was soccer. My mom coached, my older 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:08.920 brother brother was the assistant, so cute. I loved it. 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:12.480 And then track there was a little recreation community team 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:16.080 in Palmdale because we had moved out there to have 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:19.840 to buy a house more Land, and yeah. 0:21:19.680 --> 0:21:24.359 It was just it was good, good and yeah. 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.439 From there, moved into basketball and it just kind of 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:30.200 By the time I was fifteen, I was competing here 0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:33.760 at UCLA and the meets and qualifying for the Olympic team. 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:35.840 So you knew in high school that you're probably going 0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:37.840 to go to the Olympics, Oh, no doubt. 0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:39.760 Yeah, wow, Yeah. 0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:44.520 I just I was I was the type of kid 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:47.920 whom you didn't have to like push I was waiting 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:50.080 at the door with my backpack. I was going to 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:52.320 bed at eight pm the night before to make sure 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:54.639 I had enough sleep. Right, I was like, come on, 0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:57.320 Mom's that's who I was. 0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:58.600 A natural drive for it. 0:21:58.600 --> 0:21:59.920 Natural drive eighty four. 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:02.159 I was nine years old in nineteen eighty four and 0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:05.280 that was when the Olympics came to Los Angeles and 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:05.720 did you go? 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:08.920 So? The tickets are expensive, single mom. 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:12.479 So, but my mom found a way to take me 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:15.320 to the Olympic parade and this is when the athletes 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:17.919 would be paraded down the street prior to the games, 0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:20.680 because she wanted me to just be in that space. 0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:24.000 And that summer, I sat in front of my TV 0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:26.960 and I watched for the first time, and I knew 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:27.840 that that had to be me. 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:29.960 I didn't know what's sport. I didn't know, but I 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:34.439 knew I wanted that moment when they're about to cross 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:36.840 the line and you can see it. 0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:39.000 I knew I wanted it. I wrote it on my chalkboard. 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:43.120 Olympic champion at nine. So fast forward to fifteen. Made 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:45.480 the Olympic team decided not to go? Right? 0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:46.560 Picked up basketball? 0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:47.800 Or why I just said not to go? 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:52.280 Well, I wrote Olympic champion on my chalkboard at nine, 0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:54.680 and I knew that at the age of fifteen, I 0:22:54.680 --> 0:22:56.920 would just be on the relay and although I would 0:22:56.960 --> 0:22:58.359 have gotten a gold medal, it. 0:22:58.359 --> 0:23:01.080 Wouldn't have been like you. 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:04.600 Yes, and I wanted my first to be me, So. 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.119 We opted not to go wow, and I stayed here 0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:10.560 and mart strategic. Yeah my mom, My mom said, you 0:23:10.600 --> 0:23:12.679 also stayed here because you needed to get your grades. 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:16.760 Was your mom at that time kind of like your 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:20.240 manager or your guide essentially, or did you have like 0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:23.640 coaches that were kind of guiding her and giving her 0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:25.320 and what's the best path for you? 0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:29.359 At that point, My mom was sacrificing a lot of 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.199 like drive time from here to there to get me 0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:35.359 to training. And I wouldn't say a manager, but she 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:38.159 was definitely the guiding force in terms of Okay, you 0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:40.560 probably should do that meet, you probably shouldn't do that meet, 0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:43.560 and so yeah, she was kind of running the show, 0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:47.240 and especially even when it came to the grades. You know, 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:51.240 my mom is tough, right. She comes from a background, 0:23:51.520 --> 0:23:56.399 very conservative Caribbean. You know, former British rule believes was 0:23:56.440 --> 0:24:00.879 formal formally run by British rule and so like things 0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:02.879 have to be on task, and if grades weren't up 0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:04.480 to snuff, if you weren't competing. 0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:07.560 So yeah, fifteen. 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:09.720 But then around that time I started to pick up 0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:14.560 basketball and loved it, but skill wise I was very athletic, 0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:17.400 of course, but skill wise it wasn't up to where 0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:18.040 it needed to be. 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:20.439 But my athletic ability overshadowed it. 0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:24.159 So I think my senior year seventeen, I decided to 0:24:24.560 --> 0:24:29.000 take a basketball scholarship and travel cross country to North Carolina. 0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:31.240 Play basketball there, and dabble in track. 0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:35.199 So if you know anything about the California track world, 0:24:35.280 --> 0:24:38.679 like it's strong, like we have some of the best 0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:41.520 in the country come from this area. And so the 0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:46.080 the decision to travel cross country, not go to UCLA, 0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:49.040 not go to USC, not go to Stanford, and go 0:24:49.080 --> 0:24:51.639 to North Carolina like the track role. 0:24:51.600 --> 0:24:52.479 Was like what what? 0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:58.600 I just I loved East Coast, I loved. 0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:01.080 The campus there, and and it was a good decision 0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:03.119 because my freshman year we won the national title. 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:03.760 Wow. 0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:05.720 And also you were going to shine there. 0:25:06.160 --> 0:25:06.879 I was gonna shine. 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:08.960 I wanted to shine anywhere, but you were really gonna 0:25:08.960 --> 0:25:12.680 shine there in basketball. But I would imagine anywhere I 0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:15.120 would have shoed not right like it is. 0:25:19.480 --> 0:25:25.960 Told me to be humble. Yeah, that was a given right. 0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:27.959 But I also wanted to play. If I had chosen 0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:31.440 potentially to play out of Stanford or u c l A, 0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:33.920 my playing time because I was still very novice in 0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:35.760 the sport of basketball, would have been limited. 0:25:36.080 --> 0:25:37.960 So I chose the school like North Carolina. 0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:41.199 Who didn't have an extensive history of success in the 0:25:41.240 --> 0:25:43.920 women's game, and I wanted to be on the court. 0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:46.320 And it was a good decision because my freshman year 0:25:46.320 --> 0:25:51.159 we won the title. And yeah, yeah, I also, you know, 0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:54.160 had a desire to I have a gift for gab 0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:56.879 a little bit, and broadcast journalism was something that I 0:25:57.000 --> 0:25:57.760 was interested in. 0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:00.000 Great program there, and so that's how that all. 0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:01.119 Came to be. Wow. 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:07.240 Yeah, as I'm thinking about your your journey and also 0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:11.159 like the passing of your stepfather and not having a 0:26:11.200 --> 0:26:13.520 father figure. I know, just in sports in general, a 0:26:13.560 --> 0:26:15.480 lot of times coaches kind of take on that role 0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:18.840 or in that realm, and that can be like a 0:26:18.840 --> 0:26:21.480 blessing and it also can be challenging because you're kind 0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:25.560 of trusting these men to guide you, to protect you 0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:29.680 within that I guess in those early years in that journey, 0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:32.959 like was that your story, like did you have that? 0:26:33.320 --> 0:26:37.080 Or my story was that I disguised a lot of 0:26:37.119 --> 0:26:40.240 the pain and poured it all into my sport. Like 0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:43.719 I don't even think they like I communicated that I 0:26:43.800 --> 0:26:47.600 was struggling because I didn't want anything to distract me 0:26:48.040 --> 0:26:52.560 from like as very goal oriented then and now, and. 0:26:52.520 --> 0:26:54.840 I didn't even want to distract I needed them to. 0:26:54.800 --> 0:26:57.800 Be focused on the task at hand, which was training 0:26:57.840 --> 0:27:01.439 me to get where I needed to be. And it 0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:03.520 was it was just a really challenging time. 0:27:04.920 --> 0:27:05.760 I mentioned that. 0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:08.400 We won the title my freshman year. My sophomore year, 0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:12.920 team traveled out to California to Los Angeles. It was 0:27:12.960 --> 0:27:15.040 the first time I had come back here since going 0:27:15.040 --> 0:27:18.080 to college. Hadn't seen my biological father, and I don't 0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:20.359 know how many years. And so I'm playing at Polly 0:27:20.440 --> 0:27:24.040 Pavilion at UCLA. We were playing Stanford, we were losing. 0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:27.000 It was the Sweet sixteen. I run into the locker 0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:29.520 room at Polly Pavilion at halftime, and you know, I 0:27:29.640 --> 0:27:33.400 just glanced into the audience and I see my biological 0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:38.440 father right just like caught eyes like a little bit stunned, 0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:39.560 but I'm trying to stay. 0:27:39.280 --> 0:27:40.520 Focused, right. 0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:44.160 Yeah, I didn't know how to we come back out 0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:44.960 from the locker room. 0:27:44.960 --> 0:27:46.760 We lose, We lose the game, but. 0:27:46.720 --> 0:27:49.240 I'm excited to see friends and family that I hadn't seen, 0:27:49.280 --> 0:27:53.240 and particularly just the like connect with him, and he 0:27:53.320 --> 0:27:57.240 was nowhere to be found. Fast forward and fast forward, 0:27:57.359 --> 0:27:59.280 and then we'll back up if we need to. Two 0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:01.920 thousand and one, on I get a call from his 0:28:02.080 --> 0:28:02.800 common law. 0:28:02.640 --> 0:28:03.600 Wife that he had passed. 0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:07.240 So seeing him at the game was literally the last 0:28:07.280 --> 0:28:08.480 time that I saw him. 0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:09.040 Wow. 0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:15.480 And again, so many unanswered questions, so many answer unanswered questions, 0:28:15.800 --> 0:28:18.439 but one of them that was answered was all along 0:28:18.480 --> 0:28:21.679 I thought, I wonder if he knows anything about my 0:28:21.840 --> 0:28:25.960 success like my successes. Does he know that I went 0:28:25.960 --> 0:28:27.879 to North Carolina? Does you know I played basketball? Does 0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:29.560 you know I won the national championship? Does he know 0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:33.119 that I'm Olympic champion? And seeing him at the game, 0:28:34.000 --> 0:28:35.760 I knew that he knew that I played. And then 0:28:35.920 --> 0:28:40.640 following finding out afterwards from his people that he had. 0:28:40.520 --> 0:28:44.560 A scrap book. Wow, like scrapbook. 0:28:44.000 --> 0:28:48.080 Of like me in Sydney and again, but the questions 0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:50.480 are like why why a scrap, But why not just 0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:51.800 pull up right? Yeah? 0:28:51.920 --> 0:28:53.960 You know who knows. I mean I could go down 0:28:53.960 --> 0:28:54.400 that road and. 0:28:54.400 --> 0:28:59.080 I have for for many years, but it was just 0:28:59.120 --> 0:29:02.320 a real hard time in my life. 0:29:02.920 --> 0:29:06.080 Yeah, I mean I would imagine that's I think for 0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:11.680 any young girl, Like the father is such a complicated 0:29:11.720 --> 0:29:15.719 and get crucial figure in our in our existence, and 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:18.600 it always so much of how we show up in 0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:20.920 our relationships, so much how we show up in our 0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:26.200 decision making comes from whoever was that figure in our life. 0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:28.960 And so if there was, if if you luckily you 0:29:29.040 --> 0:29:32.640 had someone enduring I guess a lot of your formidable years. 0:29:32.640 --> 0:29:34.840 They always say, like you know you who you are, 0:29:34.920 --> 0:29:37.080 between how you are, what you learn between the ages 0:29:37.080 --> 0:29:39.680 of one and seven, it's like sets the foundation for 0:29:39.840 --> 0:29:42.160 who you're going to be moving forward. Obviously there's a 0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:48.520 lot of layers and factors between then in adulthood, but 0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:51.600 but still like there's that wound there, that that father 0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:52.680 wound that exists. 0:29:52.880 --> 0:29:55.840 And I think even even more so when you when 0:29:55.840 --> 0:29:57.560 you participate in sports. 0:29:57.560 --> 0:29:59.800 Right, because it's like a man dominated world. 0:29:59.680 --> 0:30:04.160 You know generally, and the idea that you know you 0:30:04.560 --> 0:30:08.400 don't have anyone to turn to when it comes to 0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:12.200 that it is just and we also are from a 0:30:12.240 --> 0:30:17.720 culture whereby those times are slowly, thankfully changing, but you know, 0:30:17.800 --> 0:30:18.960 we still hold onto this. 0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:21.440 Don't air your dirty laundry, right, like the. 0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:25.920 Mental health thing and that you know, I certainly wasn't 0:30:25.960 --> 0:30:28.040 sharing that with a coach, like I said, nor was 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:31.440 I going to get any type of therapy to help 0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:36.280 me navigate through it all. It's one of the lessons 0:30:36.320 --> 0:30:38.600 that I've learned, especially with my own kids. Right like 0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:41.120 I'm going to talk to them, I'm gonna make them talk, 0:30:41.280 --> 0:30:43.120 right if I'm not comfortable, if I feel like, I'm 0:30:43.120 --> 0:30:43.840 gonna get help. 0:30:44.240 --> 0:30:46.320 And it's so much different than what it used to be. 0:30:46.560 --> 0:30:48.560 Yeah, there was a time as teenagers or as kids, 0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:51.360 it's like you'd be seen not heard. You know, it's 0:30:51.480 --> 0:30:53.600 very much like we don't tell our business, We don't 0:30:53.600 --> 0:30:57.120 talk about that. Are not talking about their own feelings, 0:30:57.200 --> 0:30:58.760 let alone asking you how do you feel? 0:30:58.880 --> 0:31:01.840 Or I alone paying somebody. 0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:03.680 But you better come talk to me, and you better 0:31:03.680 --> 0:31:05.360 not tell none of your friends about this, this and that. 0:31:05.640 --> 0:31:09.360 And also just like imagining that the big emotions of 0:31:09.480 --> 0:31:12.960 grief that you're feeling, but without the language you don't 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:14.920 like if you don't even hear your mom or your dad, 0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:16.960 or you don't even have the space to discuss or 0:31:17.000 --> 0:31:20.640 communicate about certain about feelings. You can't even vocalize or 0:31:20.720 --> 0:31:24.400 verbalize how you're actually feeling to anyone anyway. So your 0:31:24.160 --> 0:31:27.360 your your default is to suppress. You know, you're just like, 0:31:27.400 --> 0:31:29.240 I'm feeling these feelings, but let me do this other 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:31.040 thing instead. Like you said, it was like your drug. 0:31:31.440 --> 0:31:33.440 So you're diving into something else. 0:31:33.520 --> 0:31:36.720 But thankfully for me, you know, I have friends and 0:31:36.800 --> 0:31:39.760 no people that in dealing with all of that, they 0:31:39.880 --> 0:31:43.400 turned to drugs, and they turned to alcohol, they turned 0:31:43.440 --> 0:31:45.320 to overeating and all those things. 0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:47.840 And so people are like, well, well, thankfully you turned 0:31:47.840 --> 0:31:48.360 to sport. 0:31:49.000 --> 0:31:53.560 Yes, and no, right, it's still an unhealthy way of coping, right, 0:31:53.600 --> 0:31:59.560 it's still even even to this day addictive. Right, Like 0:31:59.600 --> 0:32:02.800 when I deal with stuff, I go and work out. Yeah, right, 0:32:03.440 --> 0:32:06.880 instead of sitting down and getting through it. 0:32:07.920 --> 0:32:09.000 Right, it's my outlet. 0:32:09.160 --> 0:32:12.200 And so yeah, you see people see on the success side, 0:32:12.240 --> 0:32:16.640 oh like that they don't know the demons you know 0:32:16.760 --> 0:32:18.800 that constantly. 0:32:18.760 --> 0:32:20.440 Are there because it's not toxic. 0:32:20.800 --> 0:32:22.000 Yeah, well they think it's not. 0:32:22.240 --> 0:32:25.440 I mean, that's so interesting, like using something that people 0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:27.760 say to dive into when you're having. 0:32:27.560 --> 0:32:29.280 Something healthy as your outlet. 0:32:29.440 --> 0:32:31.960 Yeah, they'll say, google extra exercise over a. 0:32:32.000 --> 0:32:37.240 Walk a run, and you're like, that's all I ever did. 0:32:38.680 --> 0:32:40.400 Cry and scream and talk about it, but you know, 0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:41.480 all right, I'll go the treadmill. 0:32:42.000 --> 0:32:42.680 I mean, a good. 0:32:42.560 --> 0:32:44.800 Balance of all of it is is the healthiest way, 0:32:45.040 --> 0:32:49.360 you know, And I'm grateful that I never turned to 0:32:49.520 --> 0:32:52.000 the bottle, right or. 0:32:56.480 --> 0:32:56.960 Do what we do? 0:32:57.280 --> 0:33:02.280 Been the fastest woman in the world two thousand in four, 0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:05.800 two thousand and three. 0:33:07.480 --> 0:33:09.479 Don't go to that, don't go to that reefer. 0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:10.680 Look at these legs. 0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:16.920 Okay, oh my god. 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:22.920 I well, you know, I think too, like when we 0:33:22.960 --> 0:33:25.959 talk when we think about like toxic traits or not 0:33:26.040 --> 0:33:29.959 toxic trait, but like using these type of healthy things 0:33:30.320 --> 0:33:34.960 for toxicity or not to avoid yourself essentially, like when 0:33:35.120 --> 0:33:38.040 was the point in your career where you couldn't run anymore, 0:33:38.400 --> 0:33:43.040 Like where you couldn't run away from your demons and 0:33:43.040 --> 0:33:45.080 what and and maybe you're still dealing with that because 0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:47.560 I think it's a lifelong Dirney, because I know we are. 0:33:47.680 --> 0:33:50.080 We are all still evolving and working towards that But 0:33:50.200 --> 0:33:52.080 was there like a moment where you were like, I 0:33:52.080 --> 0:33:54.240 can't run anymore. I have to face these things. 0:33:55.440 --> 0:33:58.120 Yeah, you know, it's it certainly was during some of 0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:01.720 the hard which we'll get to, I'm sure here in 0:34:01.800 --> 0:34:04.280 a little bit. But that was, you know, after the 0:34:04.280 --> 0:34:07.320 Sydney Games, and I had so much success, and I was, 0:34:07.560 --> 0:34:10.360 you know, America's Golden child and on the cover of 0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:15.200 every magazine, and and you know, when shit hit the fan, 0:34:15.640 --> 0:34:17.840 you know, in two thousand and seven, in two thousand 0:34:17.840 --> 0:34:20.440 and eight, and I, you know, shared with the world 0:34:20.440 --> 0:34:22.239 that I had made some poor choices and I had 0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:26.000 lied about, you know, being given performance enhancing drugs. And 0:34:26.280 --> 0:34:30.880 the consequence was six months incarceration, forty nine days really 0:34:31.000 --> 0:34:32.360 in solitary confinement. 0:34:32.360 --> 0:34:32.799 Oh my. 0:34:34.200 --> 0:34:35.520 But you know, whenever I. 0:34:35.440 --> 0:34:39.680 Share that, people's reaction is similar, but I always like 0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:40.319 to follow up. 0:34:40.360 --> 0:34:42.720 I say it was also a blessing. 0:34:43.760 --> 0:34:47.759 And the reason is because it forced me want no 0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:51.800 pun intended to slow my ass down and to assess 0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:54.439 figure out who I was, not who I was Mary 0:34:54.560 --> 0:34:58.319 Jones the track and Feel star, right, but who are 0:34:58.360 --> 0:35:01.239 you at the core? And I think so many young 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:07.680 athletes and entertainers like like you you define who you 0:35:07.719 --> 0:35:13.080 are by what you do, which is sad. And that 0:35:13.200 --> 0:35:21.120 time locked up away from everything that I understood was real, like, Okay, 0:35:21.719 --> 0:35:25.880 you're not just a sprinter, right, Like, you're so much more. 0:35:25.960 --> 0:35:28.960 Like you have this this powerful personality and this ability 0:35:29.000 --> 0:35:33.440 to connect with people and make people feel like special. 0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:35.920 And how can you kind of harness that in your 0:35:35.960 --> 0:35:39.920 next season of life? And why had you made certain 0:35:40.000 --> 0:35:43.920 choices and you know, touching on daddy issues and mommy 0:35:43.960 --> 0:35:48.160 issues and all of that, and saying yourself, all right, 0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:55.160 you're here, right and sure like in regards to the 0:35:55.200 --> 0:35:58.759 world and reputation, there will be a good amount of rebuilding. 0:35:58.920 --> 0:36:01.839 You're here, you have a mom who still loves you 0:36:01.920 --> 0:36:04.920 and supports you, and a family that's tight, and. 0:36:05.440 --> 0:36:07.720 You're gonna be okay. And you're gonna be okay. 0:36:07.760 --> 0:36:12.600 And I knew the moment after I pled guilty in 0:36:13.680 --> 0:36:18.479 the judge handed down his like this crazy sentence, which 0:36:18.560 --> 0:36:23.560 was so far, so far from what we anticipated, it 0:36:23.600 --> 0:36:24.120 was going. 0:36:23.960 --> 0:36:25.880 To be more severe. 0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:26.600 Correct. 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:31.440 So when I pled guilty, what generally happens is the 0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:35.480 court will do an investigation of the charge and the offense, 0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:39.279 and the court usually will recommend a sentence to the 0:36:39.400 --> 0:36:42.359 judge based off of it all right, like is this. 0:36:42.320 --> 0:36:43.680 Person need to be locked up? 0:36:43.800 --> 0:36:47.680 Or can they potentially serve the community by doing probation? 0:36:48.320 --> 0:36:53.600 All that, and my recommendation from the court was probation, like, 0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:56.319 hey speak to young people, right, like we think that. 0:36:57.120 --> 0:37:01.680 And three hours later into this sentencing, I'm having to 0:37:01.719 --> 0:37:03.239 look at my attorneys left and right. 0:37:03.280 --> 0:37:05.640 I'm like, did I did I hear? 0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:06.200 Right? 0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:09.040 Did he say six months? 0:37:09.680 --> 0:37:10.800 And just being in shock. 0:37:11.520 --> 0:37:14.160 I'd never been around anybody who had been to prison. 0:37:14.560 --> 0:37:15.880 I don't know anybody. 0:37:16.040 --> 0:37:21.040 My only exposure to like prison life was that show 0:37:21.080 --> 0:37:23.800 that used to be on call, Locked Up. 0:37:24.880 --> 0:37:26.759 A lot of show, right. 0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:30.920 I probably shouldn't have been so into it because that 0:37:31.000 --> 0:37:34.799 became my face. But after the sentencing, walking down the 0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:38.000 steps there in New York and thousands of cameras, and 0:37:38.040 --> 0:37:41.440 I made the decision that so many people had embraced 0:37:41.440 --> 0:37:44.080 me in my highest of moments, right, that it was 0:37:44.160 --> 0:37:49.120 only right to speak. I could have easily just like disappeared, 0:37:49.640 --> 0:37:51.839 but I said no, I'm gonna speak. I'm gonna make 0:37:52.320 --> 0:37:54.640 my apology to the world that I'd let so many 0:37:54.680 --> 0:37:58.000 people down. But I knew that it was gonna all 0:37:58.000 --> 0:38:01.040 be okay, because there was one hand on my shoulder 0:38:01.040 --> 0:38:03.840 and that was my mama's right and she was patting 0:38:03.880 --> 0:38:04.319 me on the back. 0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:07.000 She was whispering in my ear, saying, baby, you'd be okay. 0:38:07.680 --> 0:38:12.680 And in those moments, even locked up forty nine days 0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:15.359 by myself, you know, twenty three out of twenty four 0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:17.759 hours a day, locked up, sometimes all day when the 0:38:17.800 --> 0:38:22.040 guards don't want to take you out there. There were 0:38:22.040 --> 0:38:25.719 some days from like wait, you know, let's cat, but 0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:27.840 the majority of the days are like you got this, 0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:32.280 you got this, Your your future is going to be okay. 0:38:32.800 --> 0:38:34.399 Wow. How old were you at that time? 0:38:37.320 --> 0:38:40.080 I was still in my twenties right, which is which 0:38:40.080 --> 0:38:43.640 is crazy when people are so critical and I get it. 0:38:43.640 --> 0:38:45.839 Right like everybody like I was. I was. 0:38:46.640 --> 0:38:47.719 I was that. 0:38:47.560 --> 0:38:49.080 Person to so many people. 0:38:49.960 --> 0:38:55.000 But you're human, your kid and that you're a human 0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:55.600 and your kid. 0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:58.080 And now at almost fifty, I'll turn fifty in a 0:38:58.080 --> 0:38:58.680 few months. 0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:02.960 When occasionally you'll get the people who try to come 0:39:03.040 --> 0:39:03.279 at me. 0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:06.399 I'm like, dude, right, you're talking about it, like, let's put. 0:39:06.320 --> 0:39:09.240 A lens on your twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, 0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:10.160 can we do that? 0:39:10.600 --> 0:39:10.799 Well? 0:39:11.320 --> 0:39:15.160 I mean listening, thank you for sharing. And I'm just 0:39:15.320 --> 0:39:19.680 thinking about this golden because when you were running track 0:39:19.760 --> 0:39:22.040 and during that time, it was literally like a golden 0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:26.000 era of track and field for you, and then even 0:39:26.040 --> 0:39:27.719 like the men that were running as well, it was 0:39:27.800 --> 0:39:30.440 just like this beautiful era. There was so much hope 0:39:30.480 --> 0:39:34.080 and there was so much You're bringing so much pride, 0:39:34.200 --> 0:39:38.440 especially to black people, and you kind of became the 0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:40.600 poster child not kind of, you were like the poster 0:39:40.800 --> 0:39:45.239 child to like success. This woman is like beating all 0:39:45.239 --> 0:39:50.800 these records and that is such an an unimaginable amount 0:39:50.880 --> 0:39:56.000 of pressure. Also on top of you're already suppression and 0:39:56.120 --> 0:39:58.239 need to be successful, and you already knew that you 0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:00.759 wanted to achieve a certain level of s success and 0:40:00.840 --> 0:40:03.440 you are dedicated to it. And I'm sure your coaches 0:40:03.480 --> 0:40:06.080 are not like, hey, maybe you just should like sit 0:40:06.120 --> 0:40:08.560 down for a second, and like they're not checking on 0:40:08.600 --> 0:40:11.239 your mental health there. They want to be out there 0:40:11.239 --> 0:40:13.279 and do what you need to do, so no one's 0:40:13.320 --> 0:40:16.839 really checking on you, perap. I mean, I'm assuming and. 0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:20.560 I also had made the decision. I mean, I'm just 0:40:20.800 --> 0:40:24.200 out of teenage years. Success came my way so fast, 0:40:24.560 --> 0:40:26.640 so much money, right, and. 0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:28.920 You know you, you. 0:40:28.760 --> 0:40:31.680 Start surrounding yourself. And I've shared this a lot of 0:40:31.719 --> 0:40:35.440 times with like a yes crowd, Yeah right, these are 0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:36.640 people who are gonna. 0:40:36.400 --> 0:40:38.759 Patch you on the back. Oh you want to make this, Yes, 0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:39.680 that's a good decision. 0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:42.040 Yes, an outfit, yes. 0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:42.600 Right. 0:40:43.040 --> 0:40:46.920 And I start to start to distance myself and pull 0:40:46.960 --> 0:40:48.960 away from the people who are gonna give it, keep it, 0:40:49.000 --> 0:40:54.120 to keep it real with right, my brother, my my family, right, 0:40:54.160 --> 0:40:56.600 my close friends. I started to distance myself from them 0:40:56.600 --> 0:40:57.200 because I'm like. 0:40:57.400 --> 0:40:59.879 Hey, I'm I'm the star. I'm the star. 0:41:00.239 --> 0:41:00.439 Right. 0:41:00.600 --> 0:41:03.480 And that, right, is what happens to a lot of 0:41:03.520 --> 0:41:07.080 young people who find success early on. I equated to 0:41:07.360 --> 0:41:10.080 being caught in a wave, and it takes you further 0:41:10.120 --> 0:41:11.960 and further out awave from reality. 0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:12.839 Right. 0:41:14.120 --> 0:41:16.840 And the reason that I go back to saying that 0:41:16.840 --> 0:41:20.400 that time, that hard time, was such a blessing because 0:41:20.400 --> 0:41:23.440 it forced me to come back to shore, forced me 0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:27.200 to plant my feet in the sand and say, hold 0:41:27.200 --> 0:41:29.920 the hell up a second, it's time to get rid 0:41:29.960 --> 0:41:32.960 of some people in your life, right, And which is hard, right, Like, 0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:36.400 we're also a culture that's that's very loyal, right, And 0:41:36.600 --> 0:41:38.640 and there you stick with you know, you gotta stick 0:41:38.680 --> 0:41:41.200 with our own and sometimes you got to go through 0:41:41.200 --> 0:41:44.000 that list and you got to chop, you got to chop. 0:41:44.040 --> 0:41:49.040 And I found though that by you know, admitting to 0:41:49.080 --> 0:41:54.200 certain things and losing so much, that it was naturally 0:41:54.280 --> 0:41:58.440 chopped because so many of those hang arounders, right, we're like, oh, 0:41:58.480 --> 0:42:00.880 there's nothing she could do for us, nap, right, right. 0:42:00.840 --> 0:42:03.200 Right, which was I'm thankful for, you know. 0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:06.600 But during the time where you were at, you know, 0:42:06.719 --> 0:42:10.960 like in right before the Sydney Olympics and your your 0:42:11.040 --> 0:42:11.520 husband was. 0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:13.520 Your coach, correct, No, No, it wasn't my coach. 0:42:13.560 --> 0:42:15.759 Oh, but he was involved someone I'm sure he was 0:42:15.800 --> 0:42:18.640 involved in he was an athlete as well. Well, what 0:42:18.760 --> 0:42:20.640 do you think what was the moment in which you 0:42:20.719 --> 0:42:25.960 said I because I know I remember watching your interview 0:42:25.960 --> 0:42:27.840 on OPRAH where you said you could have won without 0:42:27.880 --> 0:42:30.520 the performance enhancing drugs. What was the moment in which 0:42:30.560 --> 0:42:32.880 you said, I'm going to take these like why why? 0:42:33.120 --> 0:42:34.040 If you already knew that? 0:42:34.280 --> 0:42:37.160 Well to understand get a little context of it all. 0:42:38.040 --> 0:42:42.600 During that time, there was just a lot of athletes 0:42:42.640 --> 0:42:46.200 in the news and performance enhancing drugs, right, there was 0:42:46.280 --> 0:42:50.160 also a need, especially for the elite athlete to make 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:54.200 sure that whatever nutritional supplements were taking weren't tainted. 0:42:54.520 --> 0:42:54.719 Right. 0:42:54.880 --> 0:42:57.520 You go into a GNC, for example, you don't know 0:42:57.600 --> 0:43:01.120 how they prepared it, right. And then, as the most 0:43:01.160 --> 0:43:05.440 tested athlete in the world, the most tested drug tested 0:43:05.480 --> 0:43:07.279 athlete in the world during that time, I needed to 0:43:07.719 --> 0:43:11.200 ensure that my stuff that I was taking wasn't tainted. 0:43:11.480 --> 0:43:14.240 I believe in a drug free sport. I'm a natural athlete. 0:43:14.280 --> 0:43:19.200 I know that I'm talented enough to win, so I 0:43:19.239 --> 0:43:23.319 am the advice of my team hired a company to 0:43:23.400 --> 0:43:26.279 make sure that the supplements that I was taking were 0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:27.480 clear and clean. 0:43:28.000 --> 0:43:28.239 Right. 0:43:28.400 --> 0:43:31.400 And again, you know, I'm whatever age I am in 0:43:31.400 --> 0:43:34.000 my twenties, and you everybody has their role on. 0:43:33.920 --> 0:43:36.160 My team, right. You have the messeuse, you have the coach, 0:43:36.239 --> 0:43:36.520 you have. 0:43:36.480 --> 0:43:38.600 The manager, you have all this and you kind of 0:43:38.640 --> 0:43:40.480 just say, this is what I want, I will pay 0:43:40.520 --> 0:43:40.759 for it. 0:43:40.840 --> 0:43:44.360 Make sure that these are natural supplements, and you trust. 0:43:44.960 --> 0:43:49.719 Trust right Like I don't have a biology degree, right, Like, 0:43:49.760 --> 0:43:53.000 I'm not testing everything that and. 0:43:53.320 --> 0:43:56.160 I am again tested every week and. 0:43:56.239 --> 0:43:57.680 There's there's no red flags. 0:43:58.320 --> 0:44:00.680 So I am assuming that everything that I being given 0:44:00.960 --> 0:44:03.960 that I'm told is this is drug. 0:44:03.719 --> 0:44:05.880 Free and I'm passing every test. 0:44:06.960 --> 0:44:09.879 And it didn't come to my realization that I had 0:44:09.880 --> 0:44:15.080 been taking a performance enhancing drug until fast forward to 0:44:15.239 --> 0:44:19.520 two thousand and seven and federal investigators call me in 0:44:21.239 --> 0:44:23.480 because they want to ask me some questions. Right, And 0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:24.200 by that point, of. 0:44:24.120 --> 0:44:26.719 Course, I had seven years after the fast right. 0:44:27.000 --> 0:44:30.960 So and so I tell my attorneys like, yeah, I 0:44:30.960 --> 0:44:33.320 have nothing to hide, Let's go in. I've been tested, 0:44:33.360 --> 0:44:35.680 I've been asked about it. Let's go in, and let's 0:44:35.719 --> 0:44:37.160 just kind of like put an end to this. 0:44:37.239 --> 0:44:40.879 And so at this point, since two thousand you've you've 0:44:40.920 --> 0:44:45.240 stood on your ground of I did not take Yeah. 0:44:45.440 --> 0:44:45.960 I'm running. 0:44:46.000 --> 0:44:47.680 I'm still the fastest woman in the world. 0:44:47.840 --> 0:44:51.040 And I had made a decision note to distance myself 0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:54.040 from certain coaches that I was just naturally. 0:44:54.080 --> 0:44:55.839 I had had my first child. 0:44:55.560 --> 0:44:57.279 And I didn't think that it was going in the 0:44:57.360 --> 0:44:59.759 right direction. And so by this point I had a 0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:02.000 new coach, a new team went in there in two 0:45:02.040 --> 0:45:04.320 thousand and seven, and they started asking me the questions 0:45:04.880 --> 0:45:07.680 and we could tell very quickly that it wasn't just 0:45:07.719 --> 0:45:12.239 a hey, it was more like, we think you know 0:45:12.360 --> 0:45:15.239 a lot more than what you're telling us. By the 0:45:15.280 --> 0:45:19.000 time the interview wrapped up, they decided to pull something 0:45:19.000 --> 0:45:21.080 out of their briefcase and kind of like slap it 0:45:21.120 --> 0:45:23.960 on the table and like push it towards me. And 0:45:24.000 --> 0:45:26.480 I immediately could tell it was a liquid and a 0:45:26.480 --> 0:45:28.080 little vial, that it was something that I had been 0:45:28.320 --> 0:45:33.480 taking prior to the two Thousand Games under the disguise 0:45:33.600 --> 0:45:37.400 I think of that it was something else, and I 0:45:37.480 --> 0:45:39.960 in that moment and I make it all. I guess 0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:41.880 a little bit more dramatic, but literally it was like 0:45:41.920 --> 0:45:42.640 twenty seconds. 0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:46.319 I made the decision to say, oh, shoot, this is 0:45:46.360 --> 0:45:47.160 what it is. 0:45:48.160 --> 0:45:50.600 Regardless of if I knew what it was or not, 0:45:50.719 --> 0:45:55.160 if I admit to having taken it. Everything that I've 0:45:55.239 --> 0:45:58.560 dreamt of that nine year old little girl, my mom 0:45:58.760 --> 0:46:00.719 traveling up here to the night it states for a 0:46:00.760 --> 0:46:04.600 better life for her family, like the fortune, the fame, 0:46:04.880 --> 0:46:09.040 everything would be questioned and would disappear. So in that 0:46:09.080 --> 0:46:11.680 short amount of time, I made the decision to lie, 0:46:12.040 --> 0:46:13.000 I don't know what it is. 0:46:13.440 --> 0:46:17.120 I'd never taken it before. By that point they called it. 0:46:17.200 --> 0:46:18.160 They were like, we're done. 0:46:19.120 --> 0:46:22.040 The issue And many people don't understand is that prior 0:46:22.160 --> 0:46:26.680 to that meeting with them because I had nothing to hide, right, 0:46:27.080 --> 0:46:29.840 So federal investigators shared with my attorneys, Hey, we're going 0:46:29.880 --> 0:46:31.920 to have her sign what's called a Queen for a 0:46:32.000 --> 0:46:32.479 Day letter. 0:46:32.640 --> 0:46:33.359 They still have it. 0:46:33.360 --> 0:46:35.680 It's under the disguise of they call it something else, 0:46:35.719 --> 0:46:39.200 but in essence, what it is is if they believe 0:46:39.520 --> 0:46:42.960 that they need information from you. It could be for 0:46:43.000 --> 0:46:47.040 any a murder, a theft, whatever. You sign this letter 0:46:47.040 --> 0:46:50.160 and you say you will tell the truth no matter 0:46:50.200 --> 0:46:53.000 what it is, and we will not and cannot prosecute you, 0:46:53.120 --> 0:46:54.960 prosecute you, So. 0:46:54.920 --> 0:46:56.960 You're under oath but in a way, but it's not 0:46:57.000 --> 0:47:00.600 any way, right, But if you sign it and then 0:47:00.640 --> 0:47:04.399 you lie, that's where the shit hits the fan. 0:47:05.000 --> 0:47:08.240 And I signed the letter prior again nothing to hide. 0:47:08.880 --> 0:47:14.320 I lied in it, and then they were able to 0:47:14.400 --> 0:47:16.439 use that against me. But you know, you fast forward 0:47:16.520 --> 0:47:20.680 a few years and had my you know, because the 0:47:20.719 --> 0:47:24.040 timeline is weird. Two thousand and seven is when I 0:47:24.080 --> 0:47:27.360 decided to tell the world that I had lied and 0:47:27.400 --> 0:47:29.399 all that, But two thousand and three was actually when 0:47:29.400 --> 0:47:31.520 they called me in, right, so we had said two 0:47:31.520 --> 0:47:33.279 thousand and seven, it was actually two thousand and three 0:47:33.280 --> 0:47:34.839 that was the year my first son was born. 0:47:35.520 --> 0:47:38.239 That is, I'm a mom. That is important because you 0:47:38.960 --> 0:47:40.359 all know when you become a. 0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:44.000 Parent, like things shift and you start to realize like 0:47:44.120 --> 0:47:47.239 your lifestyle or what you're doing or saying or not 0:47:47.400 --> 0:47:52.239 doing not saying can and will affect them someday. And 0:47:52.320 --> 0:47:54.279 I had my son and I'm telling him, you know, 0:47:54.680 --> 0:47:57.160 you know, when you make more choices, you know, you 0:47:57.239 --> 0:47:59.080 got to come and tell Mom and we'll deal with 0:47:59.120 --> 0:47:59.799 the consequences. 0:47:59.800 --> 0:48:01.880 And the sooner you tell me, the better, the better. 0:48:02.120 --> 0:48:05.040 And I'm just a hypocrite, right because I'm holding onto 0:48:05.080 --> 0:48:08.520 this lie and I'm running and I'm successful, but it's 0:48:08.600 --> 0:48:12.440 just heavy. Two thousand and seven, my second son was born, 0:48:12.680 --> 0:48:16.239 and at that point it was just I mean, I'm 0:48:16.280 --> 0:48:17.920 still competing, I'm still doing well. 0:48:18.000 --> 0:48:20.479 It's just the burden of it is too much. 0:48:21.239 --> 0:48:23.680 And I decided to you know, I'm going to just 0:48:23.719 --> 0:48:25.080 deal with the consequences whatever. 0:48:25.200 --> 0:48:27.520 So so had you never said admitted it, then what 0:48:27.760 --> 0:48:30.520 would not nothing have had happened? Or was it just 0:48:30.520 --> 0:48:31.960 as personal like it was. 0:48:31.960 --> 0:48:34.600 Just I mean, I was at that point still very 0:48:34.680 --> 0:48:37.760 heavily tested every week. By that point, I hadn't taken 0:48:37.800 --> 0:48:41.000 it since two thousand and you realize, right once I realized, 0:48:41.000 --> 0:48:44.960 But yeah, I mean, nothing would have I don't know. 0:48:45.600 --> 0:48:48.200 I really don't know what the consequences if I never 0:48:48.840 --> 0:48:51.040 had said anything. But at that point, it wasn't It 0:48:51.080 --> 0:48:53.839 wasn't even worth going down that road anymore. 0:48:53.880 --> 0:48:54.319 Was there a. 0:48:54.280 --> 0:48:58.480 Reason why this company would have, under the guise of 0:48:58.640 --> 0:49:03.359 everything as natural, been given in this fucking Olympian this 0:49:03.480 --> 0:49:05.040 drug without your knowledge? 0:49:05.080 --> 0:49:06.080 Well, I mean it wasn't. 0:49:06.120 --> 0:49:09.359 There were a lot of athletes that had hired this 0:49:09.440 --> 0:49:10.520 particular company. 0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:12.080 And the more. 0:49:12.000 --> 0:49:16.240 Success the athletes, and we're talking about athletes, the elite 0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:20.919 of many different sports, right, the more success the athlete has, 0:49:21.160 --> 0:49:23.840 the more prominence this company will will become. 0:49:23.960 --> 0:49:27.239 This sounds like they did they take any accountability for 0:49:27.920 --> 0:49:29.640 what happened, or you know, they. 0:49:29.600 --> 0:49:32.960 Went down, they fold down. 0:49:33.000 --> 0:49:34.840 But I was the I was the only athlete to 0:49:34.880 --> 0:49:36.520 have been given any prison time. 0:49:36.760 --> 0:49:37.600 Is that because you're black? 0:49:38.320 --> 0:49:39.960 Well, I think I think that there. 0:49:40.000 --> 0:49:42.960 I think there were a lot of other athletes of color. 0:49:43.360 --> 0:49:45.520 I think that one would have to go to prison. 0:49:46.360 --> 0:49:47.680 They wanted to make an example of. 0:49:47.640 --> 0:49:50.240 It, and that's what the judge also said. The judge, 0:49:50.560 --> 0:49:52.320 he said, we're going to set a precedent. 0:49:52.400 --> 0:49:53.759 Yeah, they wanted to make an example of it. 0:49:54.239 --> 0:49:54.480 You know. 0:49:54.600 --> 0:49:56.799 It wasn't until years later that I also found out 0:49:56.800 --> 0:49:59.960 that he was this particular judge was up for re election. Right, 0:50:00.120 --> 0:50:03.640 it was the biggest case during that time, right, so 0:50:03.800 --> 0:50:11.120 he high profile. But you know, you it was the 0:50:11.120 --> 0:50:13.200 decision that needed to be made. It was it was 0:50:13.239 --> 0:50:17.840 the right decision. It was one that I was fearful 0:50:17.840 --> 0:50:21.800 of having to. You know, have kids in this world 0:50:21.920 --> 0:50:25.759 who would would know my story and and how that 0:50:25.800 --> 0:50:28.680 would all play out and manifest And I think I've 0:50:28.719 --> 0:50:31.800 done a fairly good job in raising them in a 0:50:31.840 --> 0:50:35.400 way that they understand the truth and they can follow 0:50:35.480 --> 0:50:36.160 the timeline. 0:50:36.160 --> 0:50:39.200 And so to fast forward a little bit to kind of. 0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:42.080 Where I'm at now and the decision I've made, because 0:50:42.280 --> 0:50:44.799 I made the conscious decision once it all went down 0:50:44.880 --> 0:50:49.160 to step back, right like after I was released, I 0:50:49.200 --> 0:50:50.439 needed to be present for them. 0:50:50.840 --> 0:50:52.799 I needed to step away from the spotlight. 0:50:53.640 --> 0:50:57.680 When I was released from prison, though I still had 0:50:57.719 --> 0:50:59.040 an aching. 0:50:58.800 --> 0:51:01.560 To compete to participate in sport. 0:51:01.680 --> 0:51:02.800 Track was off the table. 0:51:03.200 --> 0:51:05.680 But as you all know, I played basketball and I 0:51:05.719 --> 0:51:08.719 also had on my bucket list to play professionally, So 0:51:08.760 --> 0:51:12.400 I made a WNBA team and I played. 0:51:12.239 --> 0:51:13.480 For a few seasons. 0:51:14.280 --> 0:51:19.319 And I did that so that my kids can when 0:51:19.320 --> 0:51:22.960 they're old enough to follow the trajectory of my career 0:51:23.000 --> 0:51:25.680 in my life. And they were going to see the 0:51:25.760 --> 0:51:28.720 success early on, and then they were going to see 0:51:29.000 --> 0:51:31.759 the hard times and the bad decisions and for me 0:51:31.920 --> 0:51:37.520 just to disappear and never would send. I think and 0:51:37.640 --> 0:51:40.480 thought a message to them that you know, you make 0:51:41.080 --> 0:51:42.560 things happen in life and you just. 0:51:42.560 --> 0:51:45.120 Stay there back it up. So I said, you know what, No, 0:51:45.200 --> 0:51:46.600 I'm putting myself back out there. 0:51:46.719 --> 0:51:50.520 I'm going to attempt to make a professional basketball team. 0:51:50.680 --> 0:51:53.520 Right after all of this, I hadn't actually played basketball 0:51:54.040 --> 0:51:57.400 competitively and over a decade because I was running and competing. 0:51:57.719 --> 0:51:59.640 I made a WNBA team to. 0:51:59.640 --> 0:52:05.600 This day, the oldest rookie in the WNBA. And I 0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:08.480 was able to like have my boys at that point, 0:52:08.600 --> 0:52:11.160 my daughter had she had just born, was born, but 0:52:11.520 --> 0:52:13.400 like they could be in there so they. 0:52:13.239 --> 0:52:15.560 Can remember what experience other than them. 0:52:16.719 --> 0:52:20.360 And so after I decided to step away from sport altogether, 0:52:21.280 --> 0:52:23.640 I then really needed to take another step back. No, 0:52:24.120 --> 0:52:26.440 it's my kid's time, Like I need to be present 0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:27.640 for them. 0:52:27.680 --> 0:52:29.120 Not knowing if if. 0:52:29.000 --> 0:52:31.680 I was gonna put myself ever back out into the 0:52:31.719 --> 0:52:32.400 public eye. 0:52:33.040 --> 0:52:34.560 And a few years back. 0:52:35.080 --> 0:52:38.239 I says, it's time and what is it time for 0:52:38.480 --> 0:52:41.279 Marian It's time for the world to see that, like. 0:52:41.239 --> 0:52:44.120 You don't have to stay in that place. 0:52:44.520 --> 0:52:47.120 And not just specifically with my story, but my story 0:52:47.160 --> 0:52:50.080 resonates if you think, no, not everybody can relate to 0:52:50.160 --> 0:52:54.920 being you know, you know, running fast here today, Olympic champion, 0:52:55.120 --> 0:52:58.799 all that cover a vogue. But everybody can relate to 0:52:58.880 --> 0:53:03.400 being knocked down in some capacity. You lose a job, 0:53:03.600 --> 0:53:06.160 somebody dies, your relationship fails. 0:53:06.000 --> 0:53:09.040 You don't got any money, right, you've you've fucked up, 0:53:09.080 --> 0:53:09.520 you went. 0:53:09.440 --> 0:53:14.520 To really everybody and everybody experiences that in some way. 0:53:15.080 --> 0:53:17.320 Everybody needs to know that you don't have to stay 0:53:17.360 --> 0:53:19.080 there and this is how you can get back up 0:53:19.360 --> 0:53:21.960 and to be able to use my own It's it's 0:53:22.000 --> 0:53:25.040 hard to have to be that that poster child now right, 0:53:25.160 --> 0:53:28.080 Like I would love to stay the other poster child, 0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.640 but I think this one is making even a bigger 0:53:30.719 --> 0:53:34.239 impact on the world than just being able to run 0:53:34.280 --> 0:53:34.840 fast from. 0:53:34.680 --> 0:53:36.880 Here to there. Because only very few people can relate 0:53:36.960 --> 0:53:38.839 to that. They might be inspired by that. 0:53:39.040 --> 0:53:41.160 So right, like you said, you know you loved watching me, 0:53:41.200 --> 0:53:44.480 and that was but really seeing somebody. 0:53:44.480 --> 0:53:47.400 Like like the phoenix, like the rise again. 0:53:47.480 --> 0:53:50.160 Meaningful and it relates to everybody. 0:53:50.400 --> 0:53:55.320 It's you actually are become the more authentic version, whereas 0:53:55.360 --> 0:53:59.719 the other place feels like aspirational, where now it's I 0:53:59.719 --> 0:54:02.560 feel it's very equally as aspirational, but there's like a 0:54:02.600 --> 0:54:06.200 groundedness in it. There's a reality, there's a relatability, there's humanity, 0:54:06.280 --> 0:54:09.520 there's people can actually see themselves in you, whereas before 0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:12.080 they're like, I don't know how and like it's great, 0:54:12.200 --> 0:54:14.319 like I want to take a picture with her, but 0:54:14.320 --> 0:54:14.960 but other than that. 0:54:15.080 --> 0:54:17.520 So that is why you asked early on in this 0:54:17.719 --> 0:54:20.160 like how am I today or how? And that's why 0:54:20.200 --> 0:54:22.440 I can sider here and say I'm like, I'm joyful, 0:54:22.560 --> 0:54:27.360 right because the journey for me hasn't been easy, but 0:54:27.400 --> 0:54:28.799 who is it easy for anybody? 0:54:28.880 --> 0:54:29.200 Really? 0:54:29.840 --> 0:54:31.960 I'm just sitting any place where I know that what 0:54:32.000 --> 0:54:35.920 I'm doing right now is it's what it's God intended 0:54:35.960 --> 0:54:36.520 me to be doing. 0:54:36.880 --> 0:54:40.080 Good. Mom's bad choices. Yeah, it's the rise, It's the 0:54:40.760 --> 0:54:42.799 lesson that you learn from it. All the lesson that 0:54:42.840 --> 0:54:45.239 you get to like live out loud too, you know, 0:54:45.600 --> 0:54:48.520 like you said coming being you know, Black people, a 0:54:48.560 --> 0:54:51.840 lot of our things are We're taught to sweep it 0:54:51.880 --> 0:54:54.080 under the carpet and it's it's something we keep at home. 0:54:54.120 --> 0:54:56.120 We don't talk about it hush hush, like the I 0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:58.040 didn't come home last Like you don't tell nobody our business. 0:54:58.200 --> 0:55:01.600 But when you can mess up publicly and then rise 0:55:01.680 --> 0:55:04.480 up again publicly, it's so meaningful and it does set 0:55:04.520 --> 0:55:07.120 the president that we have to talk about it. We 0:55:07.200 --> 0:55:08.719 have to talk about it so that other people know 0:55:08.760 --> 0:55:11.560 this should happens. This is real life, like everything is 0:55:11.600 --> 0:55:13.920 not you know, butterflies and very which. 0:55:13.760 --> 0:55:17.080 Is what social media like exemplifies, like everybody wants to 0:55:17.120 --> 0:55:20.880 show their best life or in social media and my 0:55:21.040 --> 0:55:25.120 reality and one that I choose now because I'm also 0:55:25.160 --> 0:55:27.840 at a point in my world that I'm not going 0:55:27.920 --> 0:55:30.600 to allow my narrative to be written for me anymore 0:55:31.000 --> 0:55:33.879 as young, right, you kind of let know like this 0:55:33.920 --> 0:55:35.279 is who I am, this is what I did, but 0:55:35.360 --> 0:55:36.520 this is where it's going. 0:55:37.800 --> 0:55:38.920 And there are. 0:55:39.280 --> 0:55:42.719 Good days and there are bad days, and folks. 0:55:42.520 --> 0:55:43.480 Need to see all of it. 0:55:44.760 --> 0:55:47.799 How is your marriage during that time, Like, I know, 0:55:47.840 --> 0:55:50.319 you're no longer married, but like you were married when 0:55:50.360 --> 0:55:53.440 you were got locked up, you were married and came out. 0:55:53.160 --> 0:55:58.800 You know, how did that affect your marriage? 0:55:58.920 --> 0:56:03.040 It's certainly a strain, certainly a strain because I you know, 0:56:03.960 --> 0:56:06.920 we talk about like not airing any dirty launcher, Like 0:56:06.920 --> 0:56:09.840 I didn't even share certain things with my husband about 0:56:09.880 --> 0:56:15.160 that time, right, And so in his defense, right, like 0:56:15.239 --> 0:56:19.320 he entered a relationship with all without all the moving parts, 0:56:19.640 --> 0:56:24.640 which is unfair, right, and something that I am saddened 0:56:24.840 --> 0:56:28.520 that he had to partaken that. But also, you know, 0:56:28.600 --> 0:56:32.680 you also realize things about yourself that beyond that, it 0:56:32.719 --> 0:56:35.120 just wasn't going to work, you know, for for lots 0:56:35.120 --> 0:56:37.680 of reasons, and one that I've shared this year and 0:56:37.719 --> 0:56:40.840 that you know, I've kind of came out in twenty 0:56:40.920 --> 0:56:44.040 twenty four and and people are like so surprised, and 0:56:44.400 --> 0:56:44.640 why do. 0:56:44.680 --> 0:56:48.839 You say kicking, I don't see, it's not like a thing. 0:56:49.000 --> 0:56:51.839 For the ten plus years that I was away from 0:56:52.160 --> 0:56:55.799 the public eye, like I was living my true and 0:56:55.840 --> 0:56:59.680 authentic life, right, Like I knew for many years that I, 0:57:00.040 --> 0:57:03.160 you know, there was an attraction to women and you know, 0:57:03.400 --> 0:57:06.080 like guys were cool I also knew that I wanted kids, right, 0:57:06.239 --> 0:57:09.040 like you know for that and it's not well not 0:57:09.239 --> 0:57:11.320 even that's. 0:57:11.160 --> 0:57:12.279 That's the full truth now. 0:57:14.960 --> 0:57:18.640 But you also during that time you fit into a 0:57:18.640 --> 0:57:22.320 certain stereotype like this is what you know the female 0:57:22.400 --> 0:57:25.320 athlete should be, this is what sponsors are paying for. 0:57:25.440 --> 0:57:29.560 It's this pretty picture, right, and you know I mean. 0:57:29.760 --> 0:57:31.120 To be totally transparent. 0:57:31.320 --> 0:57:34.240 You know, my the culture in which I was raised 0:57:34.320 --> 0:57:38.120 in very conservative Bellisian culture, like you know, I have 0:57:38.160 --> 0:57:41.120 a mom, that's just not a thing, didn't support me, right, 0:57:41.200 --> 0:57:44.880 It didn't fit in that. So again you make choices 0:57:45.320 --> 0:57:49.360 and you just get to a point where I'm just like, 0:57:49.440 --> 0:57:52.640 it's just as heavy. It's just time to be me. 0:57:53.080 --> 0:57:56.120 And so that's when I say I came out. It's 0:57:56.280 --> 0:57:58.560 I didn't even realize when I made the decision to 0:57:58.600 --> 0:58:00.600 put myself back out in the pub like I in 0:58:00.680 --> 0:58:04.520 regards to my message, that the world didn't know that 0:58:04.600 --> 0:58:07.600 I was, you know, a queer woman of color, like 0:58:07.680 --> 0:58:09.760 it was a I had to be reminded like like 0:58:09.840 --> 0:58:11.240 my partner, my friends. 0:58:10.880 --> 0:58:12.320 Were like you, the world doesn't. 0:58:12.480 --> 0:58:19.320 You didn't share that everyone doesn't gay. 0:58:19.520 --> 0:58:22.400 Everyone is funny because now you know everybody now will 0:58:22.400 --> 0:58:23.120 come in and say, oh, I. 0:58:23.160 --> 0:58:25.320 Knew all a long, you know how we get. 0:58:27.680 --> 0:58:32.600 The way he was running. I thought that I see 0:58:32.600 --> 0:58:34.960 when you cut all your hair off, the only gays 0:58:35.000 --> 0:58:36.240 do they. 0:58:37.480 --> 0:58:41.520 And so this this journey back for me, this like 0:58:41.680 --> 0:58:43.360 second wind per se. 0:58:44.080 --> 0:58:47.320 It's just me living my authentic. 0:58:46.840 --> 0:58:49.880 Self, like I am who I am, right I do. 0:58:50.000 --> 0:58:52.000 I'm not at a point where I'm like I care 0:58:52.040 --> 0:58:54.840 what they say, like this is this is who I am, 0:58:55.400 --> 0:58:59.040 and my story is strong and powerful and I'm passionate 0:58:59.040 --> 0:59:01.080 about it and this is my life and this is 0:59:01.120 --> 0:59:02.440 my fa this is my world. 0:59:02.600 --> 0:59:04.240 Take it or leave it right. You don't have to 0:59:04.320 --> 0:59:06.040 like me, but you can keep it moving. How did 0:59:06.080 --> 0:59:07.640 your kids take it? Was there a moment you had 0:59:07.640 --> 0:59:10.320 to tell them like listen, mommy's lesbian again. 0:59:10.400 --> 0:59:12.360 It wasn't like that coming out way. 0:59:12.480 --> 0:59:14.760 It was just like it was just a natural, like 0:59:14.840 --> 0:59:18.960 after a divorce, dad. And you know, I made certain 0:59:19.000 --> 0:59:21.600 choices to bring whom I'm bringing around them, which I'm 0:59:21.760 --> 0:59:25.680 very cautious about. You know, there were and they're all 0:59:25.720 --> 0:59:29.280 different ages and different understanding levels, and you kind of 0:59:29.640 --> 0:59:31.280 figure that out along the way. 0:59:32.840 --> 0:59:34.400 And it wasn't any I mean it was. It was 0:59:34.400 --> 0:59:35.320 tough because. 0:59:35.080 --> 0:59:37.120 It's not dad right. 0:59:39.000 --> 0:59:40.760 It would like who is right? 0:59:42.000 --> 0:59:45.840 But again it wasn't like a shock factor or anything 0:59:45.920 --> 0:59:49.200 like I'm living with my partner now, my daughter lives 0:59:49.240 --> 0:59:50.000 in a household. 0:59:50.880 --> 0:59:53.200 My kids know mom. I think there's, like. 0:59:53.240 --> 0:59:56.040 Said, this misconception that like when when you when you 0:59:56.160 --> 0:59:58.760 lay it on your kids, like these life choices that 0:59:58.800 --> 1:00:01.800 you've made, If these life choices that you make are 1:00:01.840 --> 1:00:04.680 making mom happy, the kids are going to be happy. 1:00:04.800 --> 1:00:07.680 You know, they don't really give a fuck, like they care, 1:00:07.760 --> 1:00:09.160 they do give a fuck. They give a fuck that 1:00:09.200 --> 1:00:11.720 their mother is happy and that they're showing the mom 1:00:11.760 --> 1:00:12.560 is showing up for them. 1:00:13.120 --> 1:00:15.120 And so I think that never and of course that 1:00:15.160 --> 1:00:15.800 never changed. 1:00:15.880 --> 1:00:18.200 And I think like for the moms listening, who are 1:00:18.280 --> 1:00:21.760 you know, battling with, whether that's their sexuality, whether that's 1:00:22.080 --> 1:00:26.120 you know, leaving dad, whether that's career changing, location changing. 1:00:26.160 --> 1:00:28.640 And that's even a message for me myself too, is 1:00:28.680 --> 1:00:30.480 like we're always so concerned about if we're going to 1:00:30.480 --> 1:00:33.200 fuck up our kids, and the way we surely fuck 1:00:33.280 --> 1:00:36.000 up our kids is not being ourselves or. 1:00:36.320 --> 1:00:39.920 Hiding hiding trauma, right, Like that's another thing that you know, 1:00:40.200 --> 1:00:42.919 we in our culture, like you. 1:00:42.840 --> 1:00:44.600 Don't want to share that you're going through. 1:00:44.680 --> 1:00:48.200 You're strong, everything's fine, and your kids feeal you. They 1:00:48.240 --> 1:00:51.720 came from you. Then that energetic and bilical cord is real. 1:00:52.120 --> 1:00:54.680 My daughter, I could get in the car and just 1:00:54.720 --> 1:00:56.040 having a rough day. 1:00:55.920 --> 1:00:56.960 And I won't say anything. 1:00:57.000 --> 1:00:59.240 She's like, she'll get from school, She's like, what's wrong 1:00:59.280 --> 1:01:03.200 with you? Yes, I'm like no, I'm good to stop. 1:01:03.480 --> 1:01:05.760 So she will literally turn down the music and say 1:01:05.960 --> 1:01:06.840 what happened today? 1:01:07.200 --> 1:01:07.360 Right? 1:01:07.400 --> 1:01:10.880 So to think that just because you don't say it 1:01:11.160 --> 1:01:14.439 or you don't show it right, like they don't know, and. 1:01:14.360 --> 1:01:17.320 Then that's it's a confusing. 1:01:16.680 --> 1:01:20.080 Time for them anyway, and you're intelligence. 1:01:20.120 --> 1:01:23.919 Yeah, yeah, they're already hormonal and I'm mad for no reason. 1:01:23.960 --> 1:01:25.200 And now you're going to sit up there and lie 1:01:25.200 --> 1:01:27.320 in my face. And just like you tell your kids, 1:01:27.360 --> 1:01:29.320 you can't lie to me, I know everything before it happens. 1:01:29.520 --> 1:01:32.440 It's very much the same way. Your kid is super 1:01:32.720 --> 1:01:36.040 intelligent and intuitive, mostly because they're closer to God the 1:01:36.040 --> 1:01:38.120 younger that they are, and second of all, because they 1:01:38.120 --> 1:01:40.200 came from you and they know you. And I really 1:01:40.320 --> 1:01:42.400 I really abide by that in my adulthood, Like I'm 1:01:42.400 --> 1:01:44.800 not going to insult my child's intelligence because I remember 1:01:44.840 --> 1:01:46.880 when my parents do that shit to me coming out 1:01:46.880 --> 1:01:48.960 the grage, smelling like weed, Like what the hell y'all 1:01:49.040 --> 1:01:51.600 doing in there? Nothing you lying, you know, And it's 1:01:51.680 --> 1:01:53.560 just like I don't ever want to have a relationship 1:01:53.600 --> 1:01:55.920 where I'm insulting because I think it's like in life 1:01:55.920 --> 1:01:59.000 and adulthood, especially with women, people are going to try 1:01:59.040 --> 1:02:01.200 and confuse you, going to try and take you further 1:02:01.240 --> 1:02:03.480 and further away from your intuition. I am not going 1:02:03.480 --> 1:02:05.720 to contribute to your confusion. I'm going to tell you 1:02:05.760 --> 1:02:07.439 when you're right. I'm going to tell you when you're wrong, 1:02:07.520 --> 1:02:09.280 and like I'm going to respect you the same way 1:02:09.280 --> 1:02:11.320 that I expect you respect me, because it's a two 1:02:11.320 --> 1:02:13.640 way street. And I think a lot of times and 1:02:13.720 --> 1:02:17.400 especially like things are only weird when we make them weird. 1:02:17.960 --> 1:02:21.120 I'm like, Mom's gay, you know, Like why are you 1:02:21.160 --> 1:02:22.640 doing all that? You know what I mean. It's just 1:02:22.680 --> 1:02:25.720 like especially the time now is like everybody is, you know, 1:02:26.240 --> 1:02:28.160 and they're like, yeah, Jenny has. 1:02:28.760 --> 1:02:33.600 You know for moms, Jenny's mom is Polly. 1:02:33.320 --> 1:02:36.080 Yeah, you know, they're going to commune like who, like, 1:02:36.160 --> 1:02:38.720 you know, what I mean, like our mom's not binary, 1:02:38.800 --> 1:02:42.320 they're they you know, like the kids are so more 1:02:42.400 --> 1:02:45.120 further informed than we were, Like there's it's so much 1:02:45.160 --> 1:02:48.480 more like present in media and we can't hide it, 1:02:48.520 --> 1:02:49.840 so it's like we might as well talk about it. 1:02:49.880 --> 1:02:53.080 And I always thinks like your happiness as a mother, 1:02:53.160 --> 1:02:56.560 as a parent is so important that like denying yourself 1:02:56.680 --> 1:03:00.160 the truth is essentially teaching your kid how to lie. 1:03:00.240 --> 1:03:02.280 If I'm not being myself, I'm telling you that you 1:03:02.320 --> 1:03:05.960 also have to shift in order to be accepted and 1:03:06.000 --> 1:03:09.120 to be loved, and to be further and further away 1:03:09.120 --> 1:03:12.720 from the authenticity. And that's even from your own recommendation. 1:03:12.840 --> 1:03:14.120 Like if you don't want your kid to be this 1:03:14.280 --> 1:03:17.280 or that, you're essentially telling your kid hide and be 1:03:17.360 --> 1:03:19.240 something different than what God made you. And I think 1:03:19.280 --> 1:03:23.840 that's such a terrible message, and it's such a confusing 1:03:23.880 --> 1:03:27.080 message as you have kids going off into adulthood trying 1:03:27.080 --> 1:03:30.000 to figure their shit out already, like don't be an 1:03:30.040 --> 1:03:32.920 oppressor in the space that's already going to be extremely 1:03:32.960 --> 1:03:35.840 difficult to kind of like get your two feet. So 1:03:36.080 --> 1:03:41.360 I think that's really, you know, I'm really I'm so 1:03:42.080 --> 1:03:44.280 honored to hear your story, to share this time with 1:03:44.360 --> 1:03:47.200 you and to hear how you've overcome and the things 1:03:47.200 --> 1:03:50.160 that you've been through and the success that you've had 1:03:50.640 --> 1:03:54.080 while maintaining yourself, you know, and your authenticity and having 1:03:54.080 --> 1:03:56.480 the time to sit back and be like, let me shift, 1:03:56.640 --> 1:03:58.840 let me course correct, because a lot of people don't 1:03:58.880 --> 1:04:00.840 have the wherewithal to do that, and they try to 1:04:00.880 --> 1:04:04.360 stay within this you know, whatever is likable and lovable 1:04:04.400 --> 1:04:06.200 for the public, but you know, at the end of 1:04:06.200 --> 1:04:08.160 the day, you have to live with yourself. You have 1:04:08.200 --> 1:04:09.760 to go to sleep at night, you have to love 1:04:09.800 --> 1:04:12.920 that shit. And so I appreciate this story and like 1:04:13.000 --> 1:04:13.720 hearing from you. 1:04:14.040 --> 1:04:14.440 Thank you. 1:04:14.960 --> 1:04:17.840 Yeah, it's same. I think that, like, as women, we 1:04:17.920 --> 1:04:21.120 carry so much shame, and it seemed it seems like 1:04:21.960 --> 1:04:24.080 the world, maybe not I want to put it all 1:04:24.080 --> 1:04:27.040 in the world, but the world was trying to throw 1:04:27.080 --> 1:04:30.840 you away, then keep you down and use everything to 1:04:31.080 --> 1:04:35.440 just suppress all of the accomplishments that you've had. And 1:04:35.960 --> 1:04:39.520 I'm just so inspired by your journey to say no, 1:04:40.160 --> 1:04:42.440 I'm not done and like you're not going to put 1:04:42.480 --> 1:04:43.160 me away. 1:04:43.040 --> 1:04:44.240 You're not going to put me in that box. 1:04:44.360 --> 1:04:49.280 Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I think that like more women 1:04:49.440 --> 1:04:53.280 need to to abide by that rule and realize that 1:04:53.280 --> 1:04:55.600 there's always a second chance, there's always a second wind. 1:04:55.640 --> 1:04:58.520 I love the name of your podcast, second Wind, Second Wind, 1:04:59.040 --> 1:05:02.720 and I I definitely when I read when I was 1:05:02.920 --> 1:05:05.439 when I read the name of the podcast, and I realized, oh, yeah, 1:05:05.440 --> 1:05:08.560 I understand this because as my dad being a professional 1:05:08.560 --> 1:05:10.960 athlete and him being one of the best in his 1:05:11.720 --> 1:05:14.320 in the career, he still holds a record that has 1:05:14.480 --> 1:05:17.240 never been broken, and I think that there's a lot 1:05:17.240 --> 1:05:19.640 of pressure that people try to put on him and 1:05:19.680 --> 1:05:23.120 he'd be like whatever, Like I don't even watch football, 1:05:23.600 --> 1:05:28.160 and like also like this this idea that a lot 1:05:28.160 --> 1:05:33.400 of athletes, they become so locked into their identity as 1:05:33.400 --> 1:05:35.800 an athlete that their second win some oft times never 1:05:35.840 --> 1:05:38.480 comes because they're stuck here. They don't know what to 1:05:38.560 --> 1:05:42.440 do after after that, after pouring so much time, so 1:05:42.560 --> 1:05:45.560 much energy, everything, and you and. 1:05:45.520 --> 1:05:48.360 You realize that it doesn't matter who you are. And me, 1:05:48.360 --> 1:05:50.600 he could be an everyday show. 1:05:50.720 --> 1:05:52.320 I mean, oh, you could be a doctor. That's like 1:05:52.480 --> 1:05:54.160 I want to be a hola hooper. 1:05:54.160 --> 1:05:56.520 And that's I mean in regards to my podcast, that's 1:05:56.560 --> 1:05:58.800 that's what it is like it's entertainers and people that 1:05:58.880 --> 1:06:01.800 you know, but it's also like everyday people. 1:06:01.840 --> 1:06:05.640 That have hit success in life, whatever success looks like. 1:06:05.720 --> 1:06:08.200 I mean, you could be the deacon in your church. 1:06:08.560 --> 1:06:12.280 And you mess up right and you lose it all, 1:06:12.680 --> 1:06:14.400 and then you just make the decision to you know what, 1:06:14.600 --> 1:06:17.560 like it doesn't have to end here, Like I don't 1:06:17.560 --> 1:06:20.360 have to stay stuck in my past, and it's and 1:06:20.400 --> 1:06:22.560 you know it's my affirmation. We will get to that, 1:06:22.640 --> 1:06:26.280 but like it's you know, your your setbacks in life. 1:06:26.280 --> 1:06:28.920 Can be like a catalyst for something even bigger. 1:06:29.160 --> 1:06:31.440 It could be a catalyst for like your your big 1:06:31.480 --> 1:06:35.000 comeback And people say, you know why come back? You 1:06:35.000 --> 1:06:37.880 know why play in the w NBA, right Because again, 1:06:38.280 --> 1:06:42.360 like for me, my kids are everything and they need 1:06:42.400 --> 1:06:44.960 I needed. I needed to be okay that I had 1:06:45.040 --> 1:06:47.120 created a narrative so that they can. 1:06:47.040 --> 1:06:49.880 See it, that you're in control of it, right. 1:06:49.760 --> 1:06:51.520 That I that I'm in control of it, and that 1:06:52.080 --> 1:06:55.040 in it the world can see and need if they 1:06:55.080 --> 1:06:59.560 need an example, Hey, it's me, yo, I love that. 1:06:59.560 --> 1:07:02.400 After me, your setback in life can be the catalyst 1:07:02.400 --> 1:07:04.840 to your comeback, your biggest comeback. 1:07:04.640 --> 1:07:07.800 Your cat your setback in life can be the catalyst 1:07:07.880 --> 1:07:10.680 to your biggest comeback. Yeah, I resignate with that. I 1:07:10.680 --> 1:07:12.680 think even with Eric and I, like we were in 1:07:12.720 --> 1:07:16.440 a very place where we're like, we're single moms, we're 1:07:16.480 --> 1:07:20.800 a stereotype and the statistic and like it's over, you know, 1:07:20.920 --> 1:07:23.080 and we're just like, fuck it, We're gonna we're gonna 1:07:23.120 --> 1:07:26.160 talk say the things, talk about dating, talk about things 1:07:26.200 --> 1:07:29.960 that are not likable for women and mothers, and we're 1:07:30.000 --> 1:07:32.280 gonna smoke our weed and we're gonna stay it out loud. 1:07:32.400 --> 1:07:34.720 And you're probably gonna fail at some point in it 1:07:34.800 --> 1:07:37.160 a little bit here and there, but it's part of it. 1:07:37.440 --> 1:07:40.840 And it's also like prepping for the failure, right, I 1:07:40.920 --> 1:07:43.840 call it prepping for the hiccup, prepping for the roadblocks. 1:07:43.640 --> 1:07:45.560 Because there's going to be a road Yes, there's going 1:07:45.600 --> 1:07:48.200 to be a hit. There's going there's no human that 1:07:48.280 --> 1:07:50.040 exists that has not fucked up. 1:07:50.280 --> 1:07:52.520 So even in y'all's example, I mean, I'm sure you 1:07:52.560 --> 1:07:55.920 all and have shared like the hiccups even into getting 1:07:56.000 --> 1:07:59.440 to where you are right now. For anybody like seeing 1:07:59.520 --> 1:08:02.200 hearing this to think that it's been smooth sailing the. 1:08:02.200 --> 1:08:07.120 Whole way right, that's illusional. Shit will get hard and 1:08:07.160 --> 1:08:12.520 you will be okay. You know, Amen? Do you want 1:08:12.520 --> 1:08:13.280 to do Tarot time? 1:08:13.520 --> 1:08:15.200 Yes? Tterot time. 1:08:25.160 --> 1:08:29.640 Of swords? Interesting? It seems like there's of sports is 1:08:29.920 --> 1:08:33.519 It's an interesting card upright? 1:08:33.680 --> 1:08:42.800 It actually represents betrayal, deception, getting away with something, acting strategically. Traditionally, 1:08:42.800 --> 1:08:45.559 the seven of swords indicates that betrayal, deception, and trickery. 1:08:45.600 --> 1:08:47.120 You might be trying to get away with something and 1:08:47.120 --> 1:08:49.840 are sneaking around behind other people's backs, hoping to go undetected. 1:08:49.880 --> 1:08:51.960 If you're lucky, you might get away with your secret intact, 1:08:52.240 --> 1:08:54.320 but if you're unlucky, others will soon find out what 1:08:54.360 --> 1:08:57.559 you have done, causing you shame and embarrassment. Be aware 1:08:57.600 --> 1:09:00.240 that anytime you use cunning or deception to gain an 1:09:00.280 --> 1:09:03.160 advantage over someone or something else, you're at risk of 1:09:03.200 --> 1:09:06.040 being found out. Alternatively, you may be a victim of 1:09:06.080 --> 1:09:08.519 someone else's betrayal. Others are not being candid with you, 1:09:08.600 --> 1:09:10.679 and you may be unaware of their lives and deception. 1:09:11.080 --> 1:09:13.680 You may trust someone who then turns out to be 1:09:13.800 --> 1:09:16.400 running towards our own agenda. Look out for any sneaky 1:09:16.439 --> 1:09:19.040 behavior and listen to your intuition when something does not 1:09:19.040 --> 1:09:21.400 feel right or seems too good to be true. On 1:09:21.439 --> 1:09:24.000 a more positive note, the Seven of Swords points out 1:09:24.040 --> 1:09:26.000 that you need to be strategic in what you do. 1:09:26.360 --> 1:09:29.240 You know you cannot do everything at once, nor should you. Instead, 1:09:29.320 --> 1:09:31.680 you must prioritize what's important to you and direct your 1:09:31.720 --> 1:09:34.280 focus and attention on the few tasks that will make 1:09:34.320 --> 1:09:37.240 you move closer to your goal. It's the eighty twenty rule. 1:09:37.320 --> 1:09:39.519 Twenty percent of your work will account for eighty percent 1:09:39.560 --> 1:09:42.240 of your results, so focus on the twenty percent. You 1:09:42.280 --> 1:09:45.040 may be able to accept some responsibilities or duties, but 1:09:45.120 --> 1:09:47.960 not all of them at once. You may say yes 1:09:48.040 --> 1:09:51.719 to some projects at the expense of others. At times. 1:09:51.760 --> 1:09:53.640 The Seven of Swords suggests that you may need to 1:09:53.640 --> 1:09:56.000 put yourself first to get what you want, even if 1:09:56.000 --> 1:10:00.200 it means letting others down or putting others off of 1:10:00.240 --> 1:10:03.240 towards The seven a Swords could also imply that you 1:10:03.280 --> 1:10:05.200 are trying to escape from a situation that is not 1:10:05.320 --> 1:10:07.720 working for you anymore, rather than dealing with it head on. 1:10:07.800 --> 1:10:11.800 You may attempt to run away from commitment, responsibility, or love. 1:10:11.960 --> 1:10:15.599 You may procrastinate, letting problems slip and become worse. Sometimes 1:10:15.600 --> 1:10:18.080 you just have to face what has to be faced. 1:10:20.560 --> 1:10:24.639 Hum you but you. 1:10:24.560 --> 1:10:27.960 Know, but the reverse is interesting to The reverse says 1:10:28.200 --> 1:10:30.559 you may doubt yourself and your abilities. For example, if 1:10:30.600 --> 1:10:33.120 you have started in new business and you think to yourself, 1:10:33.120 --> 1:10:35.879 who am I doing this? Know that this fear is talking. 1:10:36.320 --> 1:10:38.120 Go get out of your head and trust that you 1:10:38.120 --> 1:10:40.040 have everything that you need to make a new venture 1:10:40.040 --> 1:10:43.799 a success. Similarly, the seven of Swords reverse can suggest 1:10:43.840 --> 1:10:47.080 that you're deceiving yourself, trying to trick yourself into believing 1:10:47.120 --> 1:10:49.599 something even though it is out of integrity and out 1:10:49.640 --> 1:10:52.479 of integrity with your true self. You may attempt to 1:10:52.479 --> 1:10:54.640 fool yourself that everything is okay when it is not. 1:10:55.160 --> 1:10:57.720 Now is the time to get real with where you're 1:10:57.760 --> 1:11:01.240 at and confront your situation head on. So it's just 1:11:01.360 --> 1:11:02.880 you know, we've talked about all of those things, so 1:11:02.920 --> 1:11:05.479 I think that was very interesting on the side as well. 1:11:05.800 --> 1:11:09.760 Yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on our 1:11:09.880 --> 1:11:14.560 show chat. This is great. Where can people find your podcast? 1:11:14.720 --> 1:11:17.480 You all the things everywhere? 1:11:18.640 --> 1:11:21.200 No, you can find a second win podcast wherever you 1:11:21.240 --> 1:11:23.800 get your podcasts, Spotify wherever that is. Of course I'm 1:11:23.840 --> 1:11:25.520 on Instagram and TikTok. 1:11:26.320 --> 1:11:28.320 Yeah, you're on TikTok? Can you be doing TikTok? 1:11:28.760 --> 1:11:31.840 I mean, I don't dances all over, but are you 1:11:31.920 --> 1:11:33.280 sure you do it right now? Over? 1:11:33.640 --> 1:11:34.160 Oh my god. 1:11:34.600 --> 1:11:36.160 I had a guest come on the other day. She's like, 1:11:36.160 --> 1:11:37.439 we need to do TikTok and she's like, I can 1:11:37.439 --> 1:11:39.599 find one. In four seconds she went, this is the dance. 1:11:39.640 --> 1:11:41.200 I was like, oh my god, is that how easy 1:11:41.200 --> 1:11:43.920 it is? I'm over here like searching for hours, like 1:11:43.960 --> 1:11:45.400 which one speaks to my soul? 1:11:46.400 --> 1:11:48.360 Like we learned that dance about eight seconds and we 1:11:48.439 --> 1:11:49.240 did it, okay. 1:11:49.280 --> 1:11:52.639 And then when TikTok disappears, all that hard work. 1:11:52.640 --> 1:11:55.320 Right, TikTok and go nowhere? Girl, They're not going to 1:11:55.400 --> 1:11:56.439 let that thing go nowhere. 1:11:56.640 --> 1:11:57.559 It's too much money. 1:11:58.000 --> 1:11:59.519 Well, we will make sure to link all of your 1:11:59.560 --> 1:12:01.920 links in this episode description, So make sure you check 1:12:01.920 --> 1:12:05.040 out Marion Jones and make sure you check us out. 1:12:05.080 --> 1:12:08.559 Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Like we said 1:12:08.560 --> 1:12:10.400 at the beginning of the show, if you didn't listen, bitch, 1:12:10.520 --> 1:12:12.080 now is the time I say bitch in the most 1:12:12.120 --> 1:12:14.880 loving way, loving living way, but I really do mean it. 1:12:15.600 --> 1:12:19.000 And also make sure you follow the Good Vibe Retreat. 1:12:19.479 --> 1:12:23.280 We have three retreats this year that are still available. 1:12:23.400 --> 1:12:25.360 All the other ones are sold out, and these ones 1:12:25.360 --> 1:12:27.320 are almost sold out too, so make sure you check 1:12:27.320 --> 1:12:29.160 out the Good Vibe Retreat. We have a couple's retreat 1:12:29.439 --> 1:12:31.720 in June, and then we have two women's retreats in 1:12:31.760 --> 1:12:34.519 Costa Rica in July and August. And I would love 1:12:34.600 --> 1:12:38.040 to see there and take care of you anyway. I 1:12:38.080 --> 1:12:40.599 love you, love you bye please. 1:12:41.439 --> 1:12:44.320 Yeah, I'm living been so good? Can't you tell I 1:12:44.400 --> 1:12:46.599 went through a drought. That's until I find a well 1:12:46.680 --> 1:12:48.519 may my have been known art? I used to be 1:12:48.560 --> 1:12:51.160 broken tail, now got the blues dance and might beyond, 1:12:51.200 --> 1:12:54.599 say Jazell throat shot pop and this cower in our voices, 1:12:54.760 --> 1:12:56.400 patriarch and catch it in the box. 1:12:56.439 --> 1:12:57.160 So what'sploids? 1:12:57.400 --> 1:12:59.799 Women put the p and power, So what's the pointless? 1:12:59.800 --> 1:12:59.920 Say? 1:13:00.040 --> 1:13:00.920 Want me to be good? 1:13:00.960 --> 1:13:02.320 So I make bad choice? 1:13:02.600 --> 1:13:05.080 Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom. 1:13:05.200 --> 1:13:08.160 It he's in on the cannabus in their bathbon walked 1:13:08.200 --> 1:13:11.040 in Barcel's cap and I blew his cat boll hop dog. 1:13:11.120 --> 1:13:13.600 Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and the 1:13:13.680 --> 1:13:16.160 waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent 1:13:16.200 --> 1:13:18.200 the lover, when too it looks like a water summer 1:13:18.200 --> 1:13:20.800 where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime. 1:13:21.000 --> 1:13:22.720 I do what doll ain't no one that needs to 1:13:22.800 --> 1:13:23.320 run it by