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Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't.

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Speaker 1: She cleaned and cared for her children and the man

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Speaker 1: of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

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Speaker 1: She was both obedient and soft by nature.

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Speaker 3: She was a good woman who always made good choices.

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Speaker 1: That shit, we're good Mom's bad choices too, single mom

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Speaker 1: who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices

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Speaker 1: and sound out they were so bad.

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Speaker 4: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

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Speaker 1: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 4: I can do it. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 4: I'm Erica and I'm Meila.

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Speaker 1: Happy Wednesday, bitches.

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Speaker 4: It's Wednesday, y'all, and we're back in the studio.

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Speaker 1: This is our girl Cave. If you haven't subscribed to

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Speaker 1: our YouTube channel, go ahead and subscribe. But if you're listening,

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Speaker 1: make sure you live a rating and review. You know

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Speaker 1: we always harass you to do it. Just stop what

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Speaker 1: you're doing right now, right now.

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Speaker 4: We don't harass them enough. We've harassed you previously.

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Speaker 1: Literally just stop right now, right now. Pause, go leave

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Speaker 1: and sit subscribe, leave a call down. You have to

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Speaker 1: scroll up a few times. You have to scroll up

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Speaker 1: a few times and you're going to see the five stars.

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Speaker 1: Press five stars because you're listening, so obviously you enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Leave a cute review, doesn't have to be long, and

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Speaker 1: then come back here.

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Speaker 4: Because I read them and I would really like if

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Speaker 4: you personally left me a message and just like, hey,

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Speaker 4: you look so cute today. Thanks.

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Speaker 1: Well, they probably wouldn't see you on whatever.

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Speaker 4: Just pretend say sound good, Okay, Just leave the fucking review.

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Speaker 4: It means a lot to us. We're doing a lot

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Speaker 4: of work over here for free. We decorated, we use

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Speaker 4: our voice, we use our.

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Speaker 1: Time and energy. It costs money, and this costs you nothing.

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Speaker 1: We're spending our coins for you.

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Speaker 4: We love you, but also make it counts, make it reciprocal.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, We love you.

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Speaker 4: If you're in La area and you're thinking about studying

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Speaker 4: a podcast, come book. Good Good Media. We are located

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Speaker 4: in the Hollywood Hills of California, right across from Universal Studios.

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Speaker 4: It's beautiful. We decorated ourselves. We have a fine man

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Speaker 4: who operates the cameras you can look at and we

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Speaker 4: might be here so Good Good Productions will.

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Speaker 1: Roll your joints or not. If you don't smoke. That's

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Speaker 1: mine too.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, we're back in the studio. We have a very

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Speaker 4: very special guest today. I'm very excited.

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited because I'm fangirling because she was my

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Speaker 1: idol growing up. As a former track star. Myself, I

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Speaker 1: have a very short lived track star career. You don't

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Speaker 1: know this about me.

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Speaker 4: Oh apparently not. I learned to the new every day.

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Speaker 4: She's a soccer star track star.

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Speaker 2: Now depends on the guests.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, I would like to welcome to the show, former

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Speaker 1: world champion chap track star. Also, I didn't realize you

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Speaker 1: played in the WNBA coach mother, motivational speaker, the one

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Speaker 1: and only Mary and.

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Speaker 2: Johnes recently podcaster.

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Speaker 1: Yes, overall icon first black female athlete on the cover

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Speaker 1: of Vogue, Darling. I remember that Vogue cover. That was

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Speaker 1: really beautiful, that red dress.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I wish I could get in that red dress.

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Speaker 4: Now, good, you do look great? Really good?

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm joyful.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm happy.

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Speaker 2: I am. You know.

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Speaker 6: I don't get back to Los Angeles very often, and

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Speaker 6: coming back home and just being in this space is nice.

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Speaker 6: But just kind of where I'm at in my world

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Speaker 6: is a joyful time.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize that you were born here, like that

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Speaker 1: you are bor An La Native and lived in the valley.

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Speaker 4: Like us, we rarely get anyone others, particularly other black

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Speaker 4: women who are from valley.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, when you all said that you were from here,

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Speaker 2: I was like.

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Speaker 1: Wait, what, I know, it's very rares. Very well, it's

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Speaker 1: not rare anymore. I think there's a lot of black

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Speaker 1: people in the valley now, but like in the eighties

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Speaker 1: and the nineties and and before that, like, no, that.

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Speaker 4: Is I told her, gave the way, Yeah, trailblazers. Growing

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Speaker 4: up when when I I grow a person, so I

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Speaker 4: was like five. Growing up, I thought that all black

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Speaker 4: people nodded at each other, like in the mall in

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Speaker 4: public because my parent, my dad always to other black people.

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Speaker 4: So now and like I'm always like to black people

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Speaker 4: and they're like, I'm like, what the fuck you didn't

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Speaker 4: get the memo we're in the valley. You fucking you're

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Speaker 4: not at me.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a man to man thing.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, or at least smile.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I do think I would like to

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Speaker 1: say that we need to bring nodding to the women too.

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Speaker 1: We need to do an at least a great bab

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Speaker 1: like something like the men nod and the women do

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Speaker 1: you have to poke your lips out like that's the.

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Speaker 2: Stank poke.

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Speaker 4: Girl.

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Speaker 2: Hey, that's too much me.

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Speaker 4: Another black, another black fucking harlem shaking. Oh my god,

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Speaker 4: you're trying to take my man.

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, you start to shake, you know, your

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Speaker 6: titties start to move and.

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Speaker 4: Stuff ain't taking nobody's man. Want to cleave it out.

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Speaker 4: This is a p s. A announcement to all black people,

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Speaker 4: people of color who live in places where you were

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Speaker 4: the minority and there's mostly whites, you better smile or

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Speaker 4: nod or when you see another black person. It is

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Speaker 4: just the role of thumb. If your parents didn't teach you,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna teach you. You always acknowledge another black person

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Speaker 4: just to say, hey, I got you. If something goes

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Speaker 4: down in this mall, I see you.

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Speaker 1: Well I think that's what I think. That's what it's

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Speaker 1: rooted in. What it's like, Hey, like there's there's a

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Speaker 1: few of us over there work Just in case there's

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Speaker 1: a few, I mean, I see, just in case I

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Speaker 1: acknowledge one, two, three, four, yep, counter.

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Speaker 4: Even like there's for a minute I started noticing people

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Speaker 4: like when all this twenty twenty, well, when the America

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Speaker 4: was happening, when I would see like a black person

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Speaker 4: pulled over, I would see other people like pull over

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Speaker 4: and just like kind of wait for them. Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: remember that too, or like sometimes like I would. One

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Speaker 4: time I went to the ATM. It was late at night.

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Speaker 4: I was with Luna and I went to the ATM

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Speaker 4: and I saw a guy like waiting for me, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, he's gonna fucking rob me. And then

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh no, he's been kind. He's looking

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Speaker 4: out for me. You know, like what bring back fucking

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Speaker 4: people at care like empathy and compass for other people,

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Speaker 4: especially the people that look like you. Because I feel

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Speaker 4: like we're moving into a place that's so New York

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Speaker 4: and so isolated, and it's like that's not the California

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Speaker 4: Way and it's definitely not the Black way. So get

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Speaker 4: your ship together, black people.

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Speaker 1: You tell them, girl, let them know which.

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Speaker 4: You know my middle names Asada, y'all, Oh God, here

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Speaker 4: we go. Don't start with me.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying you should have run down all her credentials.

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Speaker 1: She was a server in Atlanta, Mida Jamaican Trey LAWNI

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Speaker 1: she's the sex of the podcast.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna go there, but thank you for going down

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Speaker 4: the list. I was only going to say that my

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Speaker 4: middle name's Asada, okay, because I'm a black panther at heart.

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Speaker 4: If you want to go down the rest of my resume,

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Speaker 4: those are also very important things.

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Speaker 1: My hospitality got it, very top notch hospitality server here.

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Speaker 4: Ask about me Atlanta.

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Speaker 5: Put this on the comments.

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Speaker 4: You're in Atlanta in the two thousands and you saw

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Speaker 4: me at the hotels doing my thing. Put it in

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Speaker 4: the comments. Any of yer couldn't know what's up. I

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Speaker 4: know we all know.

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Speaker 1: We've all experienced it. Every person.

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Speaker 4: My dad would be like, I know, we all know,

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Speaker 4: we all have heard it.

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Speaker 1: At what point is it like like it's too far

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Speaker 1: in the past, so when you're like six years old.

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Speaker 2: You're still gonna be erased very soon.

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Speaker 4: What would ask?

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Speaker 2: They're erasing everybody mine.

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Speaker 4: That's That's why I'm a storyteller. This is this, you

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Speaker 4: know what, she could be a race.

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Speaker 1: I'm not mad at certain things being a race.

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Speaker 4: Every every story contributes to like the the final product

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Speaker 4: of like the meal. You know, every dash of salt,

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Speaker 4: even if he spilled too much that time, like it

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Speaker 4: always like it always equates to how we come to

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Speaker 4: show up at this point. So I'm not really about erasing.

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Speaker 4: I barely erase pictures of ex boyfriends and she because

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Speaker 4: I gotta remind myself, like, bitch, memory did it.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna disagree. I'm all for expunging certain things that

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Speaker 1: expunging take it off the fucking record.

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Speaker 4: Okay, what would you take off?

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Speaker 1: I would take off. Oh yeah, one of my boyfriends,

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Speaker 1: the one with the one, the one with Michael Jackson impersonator,

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Speaker 1: would be expunged because it was that.

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Speaker 2: His career, that was his career.

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Speaker 4: Basically basically, yeah, he's still doing it.

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Speaker 1: He's very talented. Yes he looks like but he's a

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Speaker 1: questionable human and for some reason, everybody knows him and

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Speaker 1: every time I dated him.

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Speaker 2: And if you talk about him on here now everybody's good.

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Speaker 2: You guys, please look.

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Speaker 1: At up everyone time I mention him, and I because

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Speaker 1: I now, I mention it because I'd like like to

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Speaker 1: get a kick out of it, because people are like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, blah blah blah, and I'm like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: used to date him. They're like, what the fuck?

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Speaker 4: When you told me that, I was like, do we

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Speaker 4: need to be friends? Still? Do you? Would you expunge

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Speaker 4: anything from your life record?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Yes, the same thing, so a few relationships. But I'm

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Speaker 6: similar in the thinking, like what you said, like everything

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Speaker 6: is creates where I'm at now, it doesn't mean that

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Speaker 6: it doesn't exist.

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Speaker 5: It means it doesn't exist for everyone else to view.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that deletes from me, and I'm blacking

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Speaker 1: it for publicly. Okay, well yeah you no, No, I

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Speaker 1: think that you know everything. Everything you do leads you

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Speaker 1: to where we're at right in this very moment. So yes,

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Speaker 1: but we could have left mister Michael Jackson, I personator

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Speaker 1: off the record.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna have to get to Google, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 6: have to get to I'm gonna have to go down

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Speaker 6: this rabbit. I'm gonna have to go down this rabbit.

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Speaker 1: Marian, It's really all over. I was proud, I will

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Speaker 1: stalk in my defense, I was like seventeen, okay, and

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Speaker 1: he was much older than me, and he tricked me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he was taking me to nice dinners and I was

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Speaker 1: in high school, take flying me out to Vegas and

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Speaker 1: I was in high Yeah, I was at my dad's house.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm so happy I'm not the only

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Speaker 4: fucking badass teenager who was literally lying about being in

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Speaker 4: the state. I was literally underage and flying to Philadelphia

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Speaker 4: to go see like drug dealer and niggas that my

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Speaker 4: cousin cousin hooked.

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Speaker 2: Me up with.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm that Daniell's No.

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Speaker 1: Well, see, I would tell my dad. My parents didn't talk,

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Speaker 1: so I knew if I was at my dad's house

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Speaker 1: there was no way to was going to like reach

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Speaker 1: out and ask. So he was always my scapegoat. So

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Speaker 1: thanks Dad, Our kids.

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Speaker 4: Are being locked the fuck in the house.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully they just tell us.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my kid's pretty.

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Speaker 2: Are they on on social media?

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Speaker 1: Your kids like have her own account or you let

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Speaker 1: them go go on there.

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Speaker 4: I mean, well, Erica just exposed my daughter that she

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Speaker 4: had a TikTok recently, and I remember it on the

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Speaker 4: way to school yesterday and I was like, she says

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Speaker 4: something about TikTok going getting banned, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: speaking of TikTok, do you have a TikTok? And she

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I know you did, because Erica told me.

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Speaker 4: She's like, I was like, why would you get to

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Speaker 4: TikTok And when you have a cover star, it's like

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Speaker 4: the kid when she's like, sorry, mommy, I just wanted

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Speaker 4: to see some of the songs.

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Speaker 2: I was like, did she go babyish when she.

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Speaker 4: Said she was going to delete it? It's Luna, I tried.

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Speaker 1: I saw you on TikTok last night.

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Speaker 4: Girl, last night.

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Speaker 1: She was she said she'd be saving things and liking

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Speaker 1: things on our page. That's how I found her on TikTok.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't like looking for her page.

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Speaker 4: What do you mean she's save shit on our page?

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Speaker 1: She literally it said like Luna web or Luna with

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Speaker 1: like emojis.

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Speaker 4: And shit saved this video of ours.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but no, it's her videos on our page because

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Speaker 1: you know, our kids take our phones, create content and

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Speaker 1: post it without our consent. And I've had to like

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Speaker 1: tell her, like, girl, you can't just she'll like do

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Speaker 1: songs that are like inappropriate and like there's like one

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Speaker 1: like don't drop the soap in the shower and I

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Speaker 1: was like, and people were like, where's your mom, like

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Speaker 1: in the comments like go get your mom, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck.

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Speaker 4: Or she'll like.

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Speaker 1: Then Iri was posting kids from her school. I was like, babe, like,

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Speaker 1: you can't need my permission to post.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, like you know your mom's are famous.

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Speaker 1: How old are your kids?

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Speaker 2: Twenty one, seventeen, fifteen?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So there are they on the socials things. They

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Speaker 1: have their own accounts and doing all the things.

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Speaker 6: But like my village, my people are all follow them

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Speaker 6: and so and I do too, and so if anything

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Speaker 6: pops up, they're not.

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Speaker 2: They barely.

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Speaker 5: They like to repost their friends stuff.

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Speaker 2: They're not doing too much original contents. Thankfully.

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Speaker 4: We're living in a weird time. You guys grow raising

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Speaker 4: kids in this time, but it's so different than like

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Speaker 4: what we grew up as. It's just like what the fuck?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, And I mean we chatted about it briefly, just

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Speaker 6: in terms of all the distractions they have now, right,

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Speaker 6: it's like for us, well, for me, there was no distractions.

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Speaker 6: It was get out when the light when the sun

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Speaker 6: comes up, you're outside, right. You don't even come inside

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Speaker 6: to go to bathroom, like when when street lights come

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Speaker 6: back on, you come inside, right, and there's no there's

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Speaker 6: no electronics or anything.

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Speaker 2: And it's a much different time obviously.

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Speaker 1: I mean I I Yeah, we were talking about that

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Speaker 1: because I was. I was telling her like I was

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Speaker 1: an athlete from the like from as early as I

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Speaker 1: could be an athlete pretty much like. And I don't

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Speaker 1: know if that was because of me. I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 1: it was because of my mom. My dad was also

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Speaker 1: a professional athlete as well, and so I think there

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Speaker 1: was just this assumption that I was supposed to do

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Speaker 1: that and I was going to be good at it

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Speaker 1: football and in track he ran track and in college

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it was this assumption that I was supposed

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Speaker 1: to be good at all these things, and I was.

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Speaker 1: I was good. And I think sometimes I even regret.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, I could have like probably like went

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Speaker 1: far if I just didn't start smoking weed.

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Speaker 4: Now your downfall it was, it was literally the next

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Speaker 4: Marion Jones. But I would have been I could have

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Speaker 4: I could have been the fastest woman in the world,

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Speaker 4: just like well never no, never, know it.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't for that devil cannabis.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: But I think about my daughter and like, I just

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Speaker 1: I haven't really pushed it on her in that way.

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Speaker 1: And as I was driving here thinking about you and

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Speaker 1: thinking about me and my trajectory and how sports is

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Speaker 1: really was a major part of my life. And I

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Speaker 1: was thinking, I think sports was also such a an

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Speaker 1: activator in my confidence and working with people and like

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Speaker 1: you know, working for a common goal. I actually didn't

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Speaker 1: like track that much because it felt I felt so

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Speaker 1: alone in it, like because I was doing like the

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Speaker 1: one hundred to two hundred maybe the four by what

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Speaker 1: I did love, but I felt like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's all on me.

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Speaker 2: Like fuck.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, oh my god, am I had

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Speaker 1: I too late? Is my daughter not going to be

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Speaker 1: a track star? Is she not going to be in

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Speaker 1: the WNBA because it has been playing?

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Speaker 6: Stressed too much about in terms of not like pushing

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Speaker 6: her because nobody like pushed me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, how I was just exposed to it. Like my

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Speaker 5: stepfather loved.

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Speaker 6: The Dodgers and love the Lakers, and we would go

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Speaker 6: to games and he would sit down after the races

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Speaker 6: and the competitions and the games and he would force

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Speaker 6: the only thing he would force me to do is

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Speaker 6: watch the post game interviews. And I never understood then,

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Speaker 6: but he was teaching me how to be humble. He

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Speaker 6: was teaching me how to communicate my thoughts.

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Speaker 2: And my ideas right and the more that I'm.

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Speaker 6: Around it, like, and that's just the same thing with

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Speaker 6: my kids, Like I don't push them to do anything,

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Speaker 6: but it's.

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Speaker 2: Always on the TV.

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Speaker 6: We're going to games, we talk about it. They're exposed

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Speaker 6: to it, they understand it.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, it's turn a game, man, you know,

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Speaker 2: go to a game. I know, you know.

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Speaker 1: I think my daughter affinity to basketball really is because

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Speaker 1: her dad loves basketball so much. And that's like, girl,

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Speaker 1: I would say, so, and that's there, that's their time

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Speaker 1: together because I have her most of the time. So

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Speaker 1: when they are together like that, he's watching the game.

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Speaker 1: And so she's like she'll come home and be like

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Speaker 1: talking about all these basketball players' names, and I'm like, who, Like, you.

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Speaker 6: Don't know, Like, just give us one name, girl, Lebron.

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Speaker 2: I knew you so easy, Lebron.

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Speaker 1: That's all I got. She said, some guy Shaka Shaka one. Yeah, Luka,

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Speaker 1: the big one, the one that we were talking about,

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Speaker 1: the big white man. Yeah, okay, so yeah, thatman Russian

364
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,520
Speaker 1: talk about. She was She's like, Luka Dagadogovich got traded

365
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 1: to the DA he got the biggest contract and blah

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00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 1: blah blah, and I was like, what, Okay, you are

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Speaker 1: living a whole other life at daddy's house because I

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Speaker 1: don't know what the you're talking about. But she wanted

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Speaker 1: to play basketball and that's kind of their thing too,

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Speaker 1: Like he'll take her to practice and he is psycho

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Speaker 1: when he's at the game, Like at the practices, he's

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Speaker 1: super intense yelling at her and I'm like whoa, and

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Speaker 1: she's listening. So I'm like, Okay, maybe it's gonna work out.

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Speaker 1: Because you don't want to listen to me when it

375
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Speaker 1: comes to sports. She'll be like, I'm like, I played soccer,

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Speaker 1: I know how to play this game. The difference. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: So Marian, tell us about your story.

378
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Speaker 4: I know it was almost a shock star for someone

379
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:27,840
Speaker 4: you were.

380
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Speaker 2: You were almost a black panther.

381
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,640
Speaker 4: Missed my time. I might bring him back though black

382
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 4: panthers too.

383
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Speaker 1: I think it's time.

384
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,840
Speaker 4: I think it's time. Think about time.

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Speaker 1: If you guys want to start the bake, I'll be

386
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Speaker 1: the Angela Davis here. Okay, we're bringing it back.

387
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 2: No, we're going to tighten up that fro though yea safe,

388
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Speaker 2: it'd be.

389
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Speaker 1: Safe enough so we don't get like go to jail.

390
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 1: But you know, yeah, I would love to know. Okay,

391
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 1: so you grew about here, how did you What was

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00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 1: your entry into sorts and track?

393
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Speaker 2: And yeah, you know, I'm all.

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00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 6: I'm from a single parent household. My mom who's originally

395
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 6: from Belize. Oh wow, Yeah, beautiful country in Central America.

396
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,159
Speaker 6: She came up to the States when my brother was

397
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Speaker 6: I have one older brother, he's five years older than me.

398
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Speaker 6: She came up to the States just for better life.

399
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Speaker 2: Started in New York.

400
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,480
Speaker 6: A lot of Beligians, you know, start there, and then

401
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 6: she had family out here in California, Los Angeles areas.

402
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 2: So she came out here, met my father I was born.

403
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 2: They were divorced when I was.

404
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Speaker 6: Three, and yeah, she just started raising us, and I

405
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 6: just naturally gravitated towards it. You know, I have an

406
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 6: old he's five years older than me. So I like

407
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 6: to joke, but not really. When your older brother is

408
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 6: picking you to be on his neighborhood teams, you know

409
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Speaker 6: there's something a little.

410
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Speaker 5: Special, right, Like he was bypassing his buddies because.

411
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Speaker 2: He wants his little sisters chosen.

412
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yes, like I'm good, I gotta be.

413
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Speaker 5: So just got involved in every sport.

414
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 6: My mom and my stepdad married, and he really was

415
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Speaker 6: the catalyst to getting me.

416
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Speaker 2: To love sport.

417
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 6: We would go to Dodgers games, we would go to

418
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 6: Lakers games, Clippers games. When they're at the sports arena

419
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:17,920
Speaker 6: where they now, I don't know, they're.

420
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Speaker 1: Still slaying of the downtown.

421
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 4: They do, they're here. How old are you when your

422
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 4: mom married your stepdad? Hey, I must have been about four,

423
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,840
Speaker 4: okay five so, and he was.

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00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 6: He was significantly older than my mom. He was former navy,

425
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 6: navy cook. So he would like, he's stay home, but

426
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Speaker 6: my mom had to work.

427
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 2: She would drive.

428
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 6: From the valley to Beverly Hills and then we moved

429
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Speaker 6: out to Palmdale. She would drive to Beverly Hills.

430
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Speaker 2: And what was she doing in Beverly Hills.

431
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Speaker 5: She's a legal secretary yep.

432
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Speaker 6: And she would commute and it was just a really

433
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Speaker 6: good time in my life.

434
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

435
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 1: I love that you had like a stay at home dad. Yeah,

436
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: So like was that I guess was that did that

437
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: impact you in a way that it may be different

438
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 1: than it did?

439
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 5: I guess I never even really thought of it like that.

440
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 6: You know, he was just everything, you know, he was warm,

441
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 6: he was loving, he was intelligent, he could cook, and

442
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 6: he was when he was in the navy, he was

443
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 6: the cook like thousands of men.

444
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 2: Oh, I've shared this story.

445
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 6: Recently that you guys remember back in the day, there

446
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 6: was this a store called Fedco.

447
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,880
Speaker 2: It kind of was like the Costco now.

448
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 6: They have Costco and Sam's Club now, but before then

449
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 6: it was Fedco. Anyways, he would go to Fedco and

450
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 6: he would load up on like meat that was on sale,

451
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 6: just because he had a history of having to cook

452
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 6: for thousands of people.

453
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,440
Speaker 2: He would load it up in the freezer and he

454
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 2: would go bad and my mom would hate it.

455
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 5: Right anyways, the food was amazing.

456
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 6: I just I felt seen and heard and it was amazing.

457
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 2: And then he passed away when I was nine.

458
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 6: Oh damn yeah, and my mom was forced to be

459
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 6: single parent again. And at that point, my biological dad,

460
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,399
Speaker 6: who was here in Los Angeles, had decided that he

461
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,880
Speaker 6: wasn't a part of like wanted to be a part

462
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 6: of my life. My brother and I have different dads,

463
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 6: and I having my stepdad in my life and then not.

464
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 2: Having any father figure in my life.

465
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 5: Even though I had a father, like a biological father

466
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 5: who was alive.

467
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: We didn't want any parts of me.

468
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 6: It was just really hard, and my mom was dealing

469
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 6: with grief in her own way, and I was dealing

470
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 6: with grief in my way. And then I become a teenager,

471
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 6: and then you know teenage girls, shit hits the fan

472
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 6: and I don't know how to like what where to

473
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 6: turn to. But thankfully I turned to sport.

474
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 5: Like that was my.

475
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 6: Alcohol, that was my drug of choice, and I found

476
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 6: that I was just very good from the beginning.

477
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: What was your first sport?

478
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 2: My first board was soccer. My mom coached, my older

479
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 2: brother brother was the assistant, so cute. I loved it.

480
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 6: And then track there was a little recreation community team

481
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 6: in Palmdale because we had moved out there to have

482
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 6: to buy a house more Land, and yeah.

483
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 2: It was just it was good, good and yeah.

484
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 6: From there, moved into basketball and it just kind of

485
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 6: By the time I was fifteen, I was competing here

486
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 6: at UCLA and the meets and qualifying for the Olympic team.

487
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 4: So you knew in high school that you're probably going

488
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 4: to go to the Olympics, Oh, no doubt.

489
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, Yeah.

490
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 6: I just I was I was the type of kid

491
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 6: whom you didn't have to like push I was waiting

492
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 6: at the door with my backpack. I was going to

493
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 6: bed at eight pm the night before to make sure

494
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 6: I had enough sleep. Right, I was like, come on,

495
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 6: Mom's that's who I was.

496
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: A natural drive for it.

497
00:21:58,600 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 2: Natural drive eighty four.

498
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 6: I was nine years old in nineteen eighty four and

499
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 6: that was when the Olympics came to Los Angeles and

500
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 6: did you go?

501
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 2: So? The tickets are expensive, single mom.

502
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,479
Speaker 6: So, but my mom found a way to take me

503
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 6: to the Olympic parade and this is when the athletes

504
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 6: would be paraded down the street prior to the games,

505
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 6: because she wanted me to just be in that space.

506
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 6: And that summer, I sat in front of my TV

507
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 6: and I watched for the first time, and I knew

508
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 6: that that had to be me.

509
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: I didn't know what's sport. I didn't know, but I

510
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 2: knew I wanted that moment when they're about to cross

511
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: the line and you can see it.

512
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 6: I knew I wanted it. I wrote it on my chalkboard.

513
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 6: Olympic champion at nine. So fast forward to fifteen. Made

514
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 6: the Olympic team decided not to go? Right?

515
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 2: Picked up basketball?

516
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: Or why I just said not to go?

517
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 6: Well, I wrote Olympic champion on my chalkboard at nine,

518
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 6: and I knew that at the age of fifteen, I

519
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 6: would just be on the relay and although I would

520
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 6: have gotten a gold medal, it.

521
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 2: Wouldn't have been like you.

522
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 5: Yes, and I wanted my first to be me, So.

523
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 6: We opted not to go wow, and I stayed here

524
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 6: and mart strategic. Yeah my mom, My mom said, you

525
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 6: also stayed here because you needed to get your grades.

526
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: Was your mom at that time kind of like your

527
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: manager or your guide essentially, or did you have like

528
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 1: coaches that were kind of guiding her and giving her

529
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: and what's the best path for you?

530
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 6: At that point, My mom was sacrificing a lot of

531
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 6: like drive time from here to there to get me

532
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 6: to training. And I wouldn't say a manager, but she

533
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 6: was definitely the guiding force in terms of Okay, you

534
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 6: probably should do that meet, you probably shouldn't do that meet,

535
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 6: and so yeah, she was kind of running the show,

536
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 6: and especially even when it came to the grades. You know,

537
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 6: my mom is tough, right. She comes from a background,

538
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 6: very conservative Caribbean. You know, former British rule believes was

539
00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 6: formal formally run by British rule and so like things

540
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 6: have to be on task, and if grades weren't up

541
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 6: to snuff, if you weren't competing.

542
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, fifteen.

543
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 6: But then around that time I started to pick up

544
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 6: basketball and loved it, but skill wise I was very athletic,

545
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 6: of course, but skill wise it wasn't up to where

546
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 6: it needed to be.

547
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 5: But my athletic ability overshadowed it.

548
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 6: So I think my senior year seventeen, I decided to

549
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 6: take a basketball scholarship and travel cross country to North Carolina.

550
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: Play basketball there, and dabble in track.

551
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 6: So if you know anything about the California track world,

552
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 6: like it's strong, like we have some of the best

553
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 6: in the country come from this area. And so the

554
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 6: the decision to travel cross country, not go to UCLA,

555
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 6: not go to USC, not go to Stanford, and go

556
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 6: to North Carolina like the track role.

557
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,479
Speaker 2: Was like what what?

558
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 5: I just I loved East Coast, I loved.

559
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 6: The campus there, and and it was a good decision

560
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 6: because my freshman year we won the national title.

561
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 4: Wow.

562
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: And also you were going to shine there.

563
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 2: I was gonna shine.

564
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: I wanted to shine anywhere, but you were really gonna

565
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 1: shine there in basketball. But I would imagine anywhere I

566
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 1: would have shoed not right like it is.

567
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: Told me to be humble. Yeah, that was a given right.

568
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,959
Speaker 6: But I also wanted to play. If I had chosen

569
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 6: potentially to play out of Stanford or u c l A,

570
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 6: my playing time because I was still very novice in

571
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 6: the sport of basketball, would have been limited.

572
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 2: So I chose the school like North Carolina.

573
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 6: Who didn't have an extensive history of success in the

574
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 6: women's game, and I wanted to be on the court.

575
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 6: And it was a good decision because my freshman year

576
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 6: we won the title. And yeah, yeah, I also, you know,

577
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 6: had a desire to I have a gift for gab

578
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 6: a little bit, and broadcast journalism was something that I

579
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 6: was interested in.

580
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 5: Great program there, and so that's how that all.

581
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 2: Came to be. Wow.

582
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, as I'm thinking about your your journey and also

583
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: like the passing of your stepfather and not having a

584
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: father figure. I know, just in sports in general, a

585
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: lot of times coaches kind of take on that role

586
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 1: or in that realm, and that can be like a

587
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: blessing and it also can be challenging because you're kind

588
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: of trusting these men to guide you, to protect you

589
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: within that I guess in those early years in that journey,

590
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,959
Speaker 1: like was that your story, like did you have that?

591
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 6: Or my story was that I disguised a lot of

592
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 6: the pain and poured it all into my sport. Like

593
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,719
Speaker 6: I don't even think they like I communicated that I

594
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 6: was struggling because I didn't want anything to distract me

595
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 6: from like as very goal oriented then and now, and.

596
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 2: I didn't even want to distract I needed them to.

597
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 6: Be focused on the task at hand, which was training

598
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 6: me to get where I needed to be. And it

599
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 6: was it was just a really challenging time.

600
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: I mentioned that.

601
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 6: We won the title my freshman year. My sophomore year,

602
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 6: team traveled out to California to Los Angeles. It was

603
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 6: the first time I had come back here since going

604
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 6: to college. Hadn't seen my biological father, and I don't

605
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 6: know how many years. And so I'm playing at Polly

606
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 6: Pavilion at UCLA. We were playing Stanford, we were losing.

607
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 6: It was the Sweet sixteen. I run into the locker

608
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 6: room at Polly Pavilion at halftime, and you know, I

609
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,400
Speaker 6: just glanced into the audience and I see my biological

610
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 6: father right just like caught eyes like a little bit stunned,

611
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 6: but I'm trying to stay.

612
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 2: Focused, right.

613
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't know how to we come back out

614
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 6: from the locker room.

615
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: We lose, We lose the game, but.

616
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 6: I'm excited to see friends and family that I hadn't seen,

617
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 6: and particularly just the like connect with him, and he

618
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 6: was nowhere to be found. Fast forward and fast forward,

619
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 6: and then we'll back up if we need to. Two

620
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 6: thousand and one, on I get a call from his

621
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 6: common law.

622
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 2: Wife that he had passed.

623
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 6: So seeing him at the game was literally the last

624
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 6: time that I saw him.

625
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 2: Wow.

626
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 6: And again, so many unanswered questions, so many answer unanswered questions,

627
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 6: but one of them that was answered was all along

628
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 6: I thought, I wonder if he knows anything about my

629
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 6: success like my successes. Does he know that I went

630
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 6: to North Carolina? Does you know I played basketball? Does

631
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 6: you know I won the national championship? Does he know

632
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 6: that I'm Olympic champion? And seeing him at the game,

633
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 6: I knew that he knew that I played. And then

634
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 6: following finding out afterwards from his people that he had.

635
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 4: A scrap book. Wow, like scrapbook.

636
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 6: Of like me in Sydney and again, but the questions

637
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 6: are like why why a scrap, But why not just

638
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 6: pull up right? Yeah?

639
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 5: You know who knows. I mean I could go down

640
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 5: that road and.

641
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 6: I have for for many years, but it was just

642
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 6: a real hard time in my life.

643
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would imagine that's I think for

644
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: any young girl, Like the father is such a complicated

645
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,719
Speaker 1: and get crucial figure in our in our existence, and

646
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: it always so much of how we show up in

647
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: our relationships, so much how we show up in our

648
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: decision making comes from whoever was that figure in our life.

649
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: And so if there was, if if you luckily you

650
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: had someone enduring I guess a lot of your formidable years.

651
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: They always say, like you know you who you are,

652
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: between how you are, what you learn between the ages

653
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: of one and seven, it's like sets the foundation for

654
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: who you're going to be moving forward. Obviously there's a

655
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: lot of layers and factors between then in adulthood, but

656
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: but still like there's that wound there, that that father

657
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: wound that exists.

658
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 6: And I think even even more so when you when

659
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 6: you participate in sports.

660
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: Right, because it's like a man dominated world.

661
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 6: You know generally, and the idea that you know you

662
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 6: don't have anyone to turn to when it comes to

663
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 6: that it is just and we also are from a

664
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 6: culture whereby those times are slowly, thankfully changing, but you know,

665
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 6: we still hold onto this.

666
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: Don't air your dirty laundry, right, like the.

667
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 6: Mental health thing and that you know, I certainly wasn't

668
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 6: sharing that with a coach, like I said, nor was

669
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 6: I going to get any type of therapy to help

670
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 6: me navigate through it all. It's one of the lessons

671
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 6: that I've learned, especially with my own kids. Right like

672
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 6: I'm going to talk to them, I'm gonna make them talk,

673
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 6: right if I'm not comfortable, if I feel like, I'm

674
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 6: gonna get help.

675
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 2: And it's so much different than what it used to be.

676
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a time as teenagers or as kids,

677
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 4: it's like you'd be seen not heard. You know, it's

678
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 4: very much like we don't tell our business, We don't

679
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 4: talk about that. Are not talking about their own feelings,

680
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 4: let alone asking you how do you feel?

681
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 5: Or I alone paying somebody.

682
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 4: But you better come talk to me, and you better

683
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 4: not tell none of your friends about this, this and that.

684
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 4: And also just like imagining that the big emotions of

685
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 4: grief that you're feeling, but without the language you don't

686
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 4: like if you don't even hear your mom or your dad,

687
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 4: or you don't even have the space to discuss or

688
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: communicate about certain about feelings. You can't even vocalize or

689
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 4: verbalize how you're actually feeling to anyone anyway. So your

690
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 4: your your default is to suppress. You know, you're just like,

691
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 4: I'm feeling these feelings, but let me do this other

692
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 4: thing instead. Like you said, it was like your drug.

693
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 4: So you're diving into something else.

694
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 6: But thankfully for me, you know, I have friends and

695
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 6: no people that in dealing with all of that, they

696
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 6: turned to drugs, and they turned to alcohol, they turned

697
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 6: to overeating and all those things.

698
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 2: And so people are like, well, well, thankfully you turned

699
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 2: to sport.

700
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 6: Yes, and no, right, it's still an unhealthy way of coping, right,

701
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 6: it's still even even to this day addictive. Right, Like

702
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 6: when I deal with stuff, I go and work out. Yeah, right,

703
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 6: instead of sitting down and getting through it.

704
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: Right, it's my outlet.

705
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 6: And so yeah, you see people see on the success side,

706
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 6: oh like that they don't know the demons you know

707
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 6: that constantly.

708
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 4: Are there because it's not toxic.

709
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they think it's not.

710
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: I mean, that's so interesting, like using something that people

711
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: say to dive into when you're having.

712
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 4: Something healthy as your outlet.

713
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll say, google extra exercise over a.

714
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: Walk a run, and you're like, that's all I ever did.

715
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 4: Cry and scream and talk about it, but you know,

716
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 4: all right, I'll go the treadmill.

717
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: I mean, a good.

718
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 6: Balance of all of it is is the healthiest way,

719
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 6: you know, And I'm grateful that I never turned to

720
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 6: the bottle, right or.

721
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 4: Do what we do?

722
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: Been the fastest woman in the world two thousand in four,

723
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: two thousand and three.

724
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,479
Speaker 4: Don't go to that, don't go to that reefer.

725
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: Look at these legs.

726
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 4: Okay, oh my god.

727
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: I well, you know, I think too, like when we

728
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,959
Speaker 1: talk when we think about like toxic traits or not

729
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,959
Speaker 1: toxic trait, but like using these type of healthy things

730
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: for toxicity or not to avoid yourself essentially, like when

731
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: was the point in your career where you couldn't run anymore,

732
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: Like where you couldn't run away from your demons and

733
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 1: what and and maybe you're still dealing with that because

734
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: I think it's a lifelong Dirney, because I know we are.

735
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: We are all still evolving and working towards that But

736
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: was there like a moment where you were like, I

737
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: can't run anymore. I have to face these things.

738
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, it's it certainly was during some of

739
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 6: the hard which we'll get to, I'm sure here in

740
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 6: a little bit. But that was, you know, after the

741
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 6: Sydney Games, and I had so much success, and I was,

742
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 6: you know, America's Golden child and on the cover of

743
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 6: every magazine, and and you know, when shit hit the fan,

744
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 6: you know, in two thousand and seven, in two thousand

745
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 6: and eight, and I, you know, shared with the world

746
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 6: that I had made some poor choices and I had

747
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 6: lied about, you know, being given performance enhancing drugs. And

748
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 6: the consequence was six months incarceration, forty nine days really

749
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 6: in solitary confinement.

750
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 4: Oh my.

751
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 2: But you know, whenever I.

752
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 6: Share that, people's reaction is similar, but I always like

753
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 6: to follow up.

754
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 2: I say it was also a blessing.

755
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 6: And the reason is because it forced me want no

756
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 6: pun intended to slow my ass down and to assess

757
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,439
Speaker 6: figure out who I was, not who I was Mary

758
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 6: Jones the track and Feel star, right, but who are

759
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 6: you at the core? And I think so many young

760
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 6: athletes and entertainers like like you you define who you

761
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 6: are by what you do, which is sad. And that

762
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 6: time locked up away from everything that I understood was real, like, Okay,

763
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 6: you're not just a sprinter, right, Like, you're so much more.

764
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 6: Like you have this this powerful personality and this ability

765
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 6: to connect with people and make people feel like special.

766
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 6: And how can you kind of harness that in your

767
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 6: next season of life? And why had you made certain

768
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 6: choices and you know, touching on daddy issues and mommy

769
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 6: issues and all of that, and saying yourself, all right,

770
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 6: you're here, right and sure like in regards to the

771
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 6: world and reputation, there will be a good amount of rebuilding.

772
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 6: You're here, you have a mom who still loves you

773
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 6: and supports you, and a family that's tight, and.

774
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 2: You're gonna be okay. And you're gonna be okay.

775
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 6: And I knew the moment after I pled guilty in

776
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:18,479
Speaker 6: the judge handed down his like this crazy sentence, which

777
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 6: was so far, so far from what we anticipated, it

778
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 6: was going.

779
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: To be more severe.

780
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 2: Correct.

781
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 6: So when I pled guilty, what generally happens is the

782
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 6: court will do an investigation of the charge and the offense,

783
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 6: and the court usually will recommend a sentence to the

784
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 6: judge based off of it all right, like is this.

785
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 2: Person need to be locked up?

786
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 6: Or can they potentially serve the community by doing probation?

787
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 6: All that, and my recommendation from the court was probation, like,

788
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 6: hey speak to young people, right, like we think that.

789
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 6: And three hours later into this sentencing, I'm having to

790
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 6: look at my attorneys left and right.

791
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, did I did I hear?

792
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 4: Right?

793
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 5: Did he say six months?

794
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:10,800
Speaker 2: And just being in shock.

795
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 5: I'd never been around anybody who had been to prison.

796
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 2: I don't know anybody.

797
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 6: My only exposure to like prison life was that show

798
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,800
Speaker 6: that used to be on call, Locked Up.

799
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 4: A lot of show, right.

800
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 6: I probably shouldn't have been so into it because that

801
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 6: became my face. But after the sentencing, walking down the

802
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 6: steps there in New York and thousands of cameras, and

803
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 6: I made the decision that so many people had embraced

804
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 6: me in my highest of moments, right, that it was

805
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 6: only right to speak. I could have easily just like disappeared,

806
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 6: but I said no, I'm gonna speak. I'm gonna make

807
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 6: my apology to the world that I'd let so many

808
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 6: people down. But I knew that it was gonna all

809
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 6: be okay, because there was one hand on my shoulder

810
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 6: and that was my mama's right and she was patting

811
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 6: me on the back.

812
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 2: She was whispering in my ear, saying, baby, you'd be okay.

813
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 6: And in those moments, even locked up forty nine days

814
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 6: by myself, you know, twenty three out of twenty four

815
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 6: hours a day, locked up, sometimes all day when the

816
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 6: guards don't want to take you out there. There were

817
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 6: some days from like wait, you know, let's cat, but

818
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 6: the majority of the days are like you got this,

819
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 6: you got this, Your your future is going to be okay.

820
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,399
Speaker 4: Wow. How old were you at that time?

821
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 6: I was still in my twenties right, which is which

822
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 6: is crazy when people are so critical and I get it.

823
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 2: Right like everybody like I was. I was.

824
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: I was that.

825
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 2: Person to so many people.

826
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: But you're human, your kid and that you're a human

827
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: and your kid.

828
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 5: And now at almost fifty, I'll turn fifty in a

829
00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 5: few months.

830
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 6: When occasionally you'll get the people who try to come

831
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 6: at me.

832
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 4: I'm like, dude, right, you're talking about it, like, let's put.

833
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 6: A lens on your twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven,

834
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 6: can we do that?

835
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 2: Well?

836
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: I mean listening, thank you for sharing. And I'm just

837
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: thinking about this golden because when you were running track

838
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: and during that time, it was literally like a golden

839
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 1: era of track and field for you, and then even

840
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: like the men that were running as well, it was

841
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: just like this beautiful era. There was so much hope

842
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: and there was so much You're bringing so much pride,

843
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: especially to black people, and you kind of became the

844
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: poster child not kind of, you were like the poster

845
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: child to like success. This woman is like beating all

846
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 1: these records and that is such an an unimaginable amount

847
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: of pressure. Also on top of you're already suppression and

848
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: need to be successful, and you already knew that you

849
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 1: wanted to achieve a certain level of s success and

850
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: you are dedicated to it. And I'm sure your coaches

851
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: are not like, hey, maybe you just should like sit

852
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: down for a second, and like they're not checking on

853
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 1: your mental health there. They want to be out there

854
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: and do what you need to do, so no one's

855
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 1: really checking on you, perap. I mean, I'm assuming and.

856
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 6: I also had made the decision. I mean, I'm just

857
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 6: out of teenage years. Success came my way so fast,

858
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 6: so much money, right, and.

859
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: You know you, you.

860
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 6: Start surrounding yourself. And I've shared this a lot of

861
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 6: times with like a yes crowd, Yeah right, these are

862
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 6: people who are gonna.

863
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 5: Patch you on the back. Oh you want to make this, Yes,

864
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 5: that's a good decision.

865
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 2: Yes, an outfit, yes.

866
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 4: Right.

867
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 6: And I start to start to distance myself and pull

868
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 6: away from the people who are gonna give it, keep it,

869
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 6: to keep it real with right, my brother, my my family, right,

870
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 6: my close friends. I started to distance myself from them

871
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 6: because I'm like.

872
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 4: Hey, I'm I'm the star. I'm the star.

873
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:00,439
Speaker 2: Right.

874
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 6: And that, right, is what happens to a lot of

875
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 6: young people who find success early on. I equated to

876
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 6: being caught in a wave, and it takes you further

877
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 6: and further out awave from reality.

878
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 4: Right.

879
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 6: And the reason that I go back to saying that

880
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 6: that time, that hard time, was such a blessing because

881
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 6: it forced me to come back to shore, forced me

882
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 6: to plant my feet in the sand and say, hold

883
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 6: the hell up a second, it's time to get rid

884
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 6: of some people in your life, right, And which is hard, right, Like,

885
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 6: we're also a culture that's that's very loyal, right, And

886
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 6: and there you stick with you know, you gotta stick

887
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 6: with our own and sometimes you got to go through

888
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 6: that list and you got to chop, you got to chop.

889
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 6: And I found though that by you know, admitting to

890
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 6: certain things and losing so much, that it was naturally

891
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 6: chopped because so many of those hang arounders, right, we're like, oh,

892
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 6: there's nothing she could do for us, nap, right, right.

893
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: Right, which was I'm thankful for, you know.

894
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: But during the time where you were at, you know,

895
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: like in right before the Sydney Olympics and your your

896
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: husband was.

897
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: Your coach, correct, No, No, it wasn't my coach.

898
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: Oh, but he was involved someone I'm sure he was

899
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: involved in he was an athlete as well. Well, what

900
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: do you think what was the moment in which you

901
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: said I because I know I remember watching your interview

902
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: on OPRAH where you said you could have won without

903
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: the performance enhancing drugs. What was the moment in which

904
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: you said, I'm going to take these like why why?

905
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 1: If you already knew that?

906
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 6: Well to understand get a little context of it all.

907
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 6: During that time, there was just a lot of athletes

908
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 6: in the news and performance enhancing drugs, right, there was

909
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 6: also a need, especially for the elite athlete to make

910
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 6: sure that whatever nutritional supplements were taking weren't tainted.

911
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 2: Right.

912
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 6: You go into a GNC, for example, you don't know

913
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 6: how they prepared it, right. And then, as the most

914
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 6: tested athlete in the world, the most tested drug tested

915
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 6: athlete in the world during that time, I needed to

916
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 6: ensure that my stuff that I was taking wasn't tainted.

917
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:14,240
Speaker 2: I believe in a drug free sport. I'm a natural athlete.

918
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 6: I know that I'm talented enough to win, so I

919
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 6: am the advice of my team hired a company to

920
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 6: make sure that the supplements that I was taking were

921
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 6: clear and clean.

922
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 2: Right.

923
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 6: And again, you know, I'm whatever age I am in

924
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 6: my twenties, and you everybody has their role on.

925
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 2: My team, right. You have the messeuse, you have the coach,

926
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 2: you have.

927
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 6: The manager, you have all this and you kind of

928
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 6: just say, this is what I want, I will pay

929
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 6: for it.

930
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 5: Make sure that these are natural supplements, and you trust.

931
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 6: Trust right Like I don't have a biology degree, right, Like,

932
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 6: I'm not testing everything that and.

933
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 5: I am again tested every week and.

934
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 2: There's there's no red flags.

935
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 6: So I am assuming that everything that I being given

936
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 6: that I'm told is this is drug.

937
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 5: Free and I'm passing every test.

938
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,879
Speaker 6: And it didn't come to my realization that I had

939
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 6: been taking a performance enhancing drug until fast forward to

940
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 6: two thousand and seven and federal investigators call me in

941
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 6: because they want to ask me some questions. Right, And

942
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 6: by that point, of.

943
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: Course, I had seven years after the fast right.

944
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 6: So and so I tell my attorneys like, yeah, I

945
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,320
Speaker 6: have nothing to hide, Let's go in. I've been tested,

946
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 6: I've been asked about it. Let's go in, and let's

947
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 6: just kind of like put an end to this.

948
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,879
Speaker 1: And so at this point, since two thousand you've you've

949
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:45,240
Speaker 1: stood on your ground of I did not take Yeah.

950
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 2: I'm running.

951
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 5: I'm still the fastest woman in the world.

952
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 6: And I had made a decision note to distance myself

953
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 6: from certain coaches that I was just naturally.

954
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 2: I had had my first child.

955
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 6: And I didn't think that it was going in the

956
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 6: right direction. And so by this point I had a

957
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 6: new coach, a new team went in there in two

958
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 6: thousand and seven, and they started asking me the questions

959
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 6: and we could tell very quickly that it wasn't just

960
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 6: a hey, it was more like, we think you know

961
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 6: a lot more than what you're telling us. By the

962
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 6: time the interview wrapped up, they decided to pull something

963
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 6: out of their briefcase and kind of like slap it

964
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 6: on the table and like push it towards me. And

965
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 6: I immediately could tell it was a liquid and a

966
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 6: little vial, that it was something that I had been

967
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 6: taking prior to the two Thousand Games under the disguise

968
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:37,400
Speaker 6: I think of that it was something else, and I

969
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 6: in that moment and I make it all. I guess

970
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 6: a little bit more dramatic, but literally it was like

971
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 6: twenty seconds.

972
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 2: I made the decision to say, oh, shoot, this is

973
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 2: what it is.

974
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 6: Regardless of if I knew what it was or not,

975
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 6: if I admit to having taken it. Everything that I've

976
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 6: dreamt of that nine year old little girl, my mom

977
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 6: traveling up here to the night it states for a

978
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 6: better life for her family, like the fortune, the fame,

979
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 6: everything would be questioned and would disappear. So in that

980
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 6: short amount of time, I made the decision to lie,

981
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 6: I don't know what it is.

982
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: I'd never taken it before. By that point they called it.

983
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 2: They were like, we're done.

984
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 6: The issue And many people don't understand is that prior

985
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 6: to that meeting with them because I had nothing to hide, right,

986
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 6: So federal investigators shared with my attorneys, Hey, we're going

987
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 6: to have her sign what's called a Queen for a

988
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:32,479
Speaker 6: Day letter.

989
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 2: They still have it.

990
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 6: It's under the disguise of they call it something else,

991
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 6: but in essence, what it is is if they believe

992
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 6: that they need information from you. It could be for

993
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 6: any a murder, a theft, whatever. You sign this letter

994
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 6: and you say you will tell the truth no matter

995
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 6: what it is, and we will not and cannot prosecute you,

996
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 6: prosecute you, So.

997
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 4: You're under oath but in a way, but it's not

998
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 4: any way, right, But if you sign it and then

999
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 4: you lie, that's where the shit hits the fan.

1000
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 6: And I signed the letter prior again nothing to hide.

1001
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 6: I lied in it, and then they were able to

1002
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,439
Speaker 6: use that against me. But you know, you fast forward

1003
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 6: a few years and had my you know, because the

1004
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 6: timeline is weird. Two thousand and seven is when I

1005
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 6: decided to tell the world that I had lied and

1006
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 6: all that, But two thousand and three was actually when

1007
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 6: they called me in, right, so we had said two

1008
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 6: thousand and seven, it was actually two thousand and three

1009
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 6: that was the year my first son was born.

1010
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 2: That is, I'm a mom. That is important because you

1011
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 2: all know when you become a.

1012
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 6: Parent, like things shift and you start to realize like

1013
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 6: your lifestyle or what you're doing or saying or not

1014
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 6: doing not saying can and will affect them someday. And

1015
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 6: I had my son and I'm telling him, you know,

1016
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 6: you know, when you make more choices, you know, you

1017
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 6: got to come and tell Mom and we'll deal with

1018
00:47:59,120 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 6: the consequences.

1019
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 5: And the sooner you tell me, the better, the better.

1020
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 6: And I'm just a hypocrite, right because I'm holding onto

1021
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 6: this lie and I'm running and I'm successful, but it's

1022
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 6: just heavy. Two thousand and seven, my second son was born,

1023
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 6: and at that point it was just I mean, I'm

1024
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 6: still competing, I'm still doing well.

1025
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,479
Speaker 2: It's just the burden of it is too much.

1026
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 6: And I decided to you know, I'm going to just

1027
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 6: deal with the consequences whatever.

1028
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 4: So so had you never said admitted it, then what

1029
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 4: would not nothing have had happened? Or was it just

1030
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 4: as personal like it was.

1031
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 6: Just I mean, I was at that point still very

1032
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,760
Speaker 6: heavily tested every week. By that point, I hadn't taken

1033
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 6: it since two thousand and you realize, right once I realized,

1034
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 6: But yeah, I mean, nothing would have I don't know.

1035
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 6: I really don't know what the consequences if I never

1036
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 6: had said anything. But at that point, it wasn't It

1037
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 6: wasn't even worth going down that road anymore.

1038
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 2: Was there a.

1039
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 4: Reason why this company would have, under the guise of

1040
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 4: everything as natural, been given in this fucking Olympian this

1041
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 4: drug without your knowledge?

1042
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it wasn't.

1043
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:09,359
Speaker 6: There were a lot of athletes that had hired this

1044
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 6: particular company.

1045
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: And the more.

1046
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,240
Speaker 6: Success the athletes, and we're talking about athletes, the elite

1047
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:20,919
Speaker 6: of many different sports, right, the more success the athlete has,

1048
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 6: the more prominence this company will will become.

1049
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 1: This sounds like they did they take any accountability for

1050
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: what happened, or you know, they.

1051
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 5: Went down, they fold down.

1052
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 6: But I was the I was the only athlete to

1053
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 6: have been given any prison time.

1054
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 4: Is that because you're black?

1055
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think that there.

1056
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 5: I think there were a lot of other athletes of color.

1057
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 4: I think that one would have to go to prison.

1058
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: They wanted to make an example of.

1059
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,240
Speaker 6: It, and that's what the judge also said. The judge,

1060
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,320
Speaker 6: he said, we're going to set a precedent.

1061
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, they wanted to make an example of it.

1062
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 2: You know.

1063
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 6: It wasn't until years later that I also found out

1064
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 6: that he was this particular judge was up for re election. Right,

1065
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 6: it was the biggest case during that time, right, so

1066
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 6: he high profile. But you know, you it was the

1067
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 6: decision that needed to be made. It was it was

1068
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 6: the right decision. It was one that I was fearful

1069
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 6: of having to. You know, have kids in this world

1070
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 6: who would would know my story and and how that

1071
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 6: would all play out and manifest And I think I've

1072
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,800
Speaker 6: done a fairly good job in raising them in a

1073
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 6: way that they understand the truth and they can follow

1074
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 6: the timeline.

1075
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 5: And so to fast forward a little bit to kind of.

1076
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 6: Where I'm at now and the decision I've made, because

1077
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 6: I made the conscious decision once it all went down

1078
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 6: to step back, right like after I was released, I

1079
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:50,439
Speaker 6: needed to be present for them.

1080
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: I needed to step away from the spotlight.

1081
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 6: When I was released from prison, though I still had

1082
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 6: an aching.

1083
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 5: To compete to participate in sport.

1084
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: Track was off the table.

1085
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 6: But as you all know, I played basketball and I

1086
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 6: also had on my bucket list to play professionally, So

1087
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 6: I made a WNBA team and I played.

1088
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 2: For a few seasons.

1089
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 6: And I did that so that my kids can when

1090
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 6: they're old enough to follow the trajectory of my career

1091
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 6: in my life. And they were going to see the

1092
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,720
Speaker 6: success early on, and then they were going to see

1093
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 6: the hard times and the bad decisions and for me

1094
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 6: just to disappear and never would send. I think and

1095
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 6: thought a message to them that you know, you make

1096
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 6: things happen in life and you just.

1097
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: Stay there back it up. So I said, you know what, No,

1098
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: I'm putting myself back out there.

1099
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 6: I'm going to attempt to make a professional basketball team.

1100
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 6: Right after all of this, I hadn't actually played basketball

1101
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,400
Speaker 6: competitively and over a decade because I was running and competing.

1102
00:51:57,719 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 2: I made a WNBA team to.

1103
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 6: This day, the oldest rookie in the WNBA. And I

1104
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 6: was able to like have my boys at that point,

1105
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 6: my daughter had she had just born, was born, but

1106
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 6: like they could be in there so they.

1107
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 4: Can remember what experience other than them.

1108
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 6: And so after I decided to step away from sport altogether,

1109
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 6: I then really needed to take another step back. No,

1110
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 6: it's my kid's time, Like I need to be present

1111
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 6: for them.

1112
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 2: Not knowing if if.

1113
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 6: I was gonna put myself ever back out into the

1114
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 6: public eye.

1115
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 2: And a few years back.

1116
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 6: I says, it's time and what is it time for

1117
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 6: Marian It's time for the world to see that, like.

1118
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 2: You don't have to stay in that place.

1119
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 6: And not just specifically with my story, but my story

1120
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 6: resonates if you think, no, not everybody can relate to

1121
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 6: being you know, you know, running fast here today, Olympic champion,

1122
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 6: all that cover a vogue. But everybody can relate to

1123
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 6: being knocked down in some capacity. You lose a job,

1124
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 6: somebody dies, your relationship fails.

1125
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 5: You don't got any money, right, you've you've fucked up,

1126
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 5: you went.

1127
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 6: To really everybody and everybody experiences that in some way.

1128
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,320
Speaker 6: Everybody needs to know that you don't have to stay

1129
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 6: there and this is how you can get back up

1130
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 6: and to be able to use my own It's it's

1131
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 6: hard to have to be that that poster child now right,

1132
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 6: Like I would love to stay the other poster child,

1133
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 6: but I think this one is making even a bigger

1134
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 6: impact on the world than just being able to run

1135
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 6: fast from.

1136
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 2: Here to there. Because only very few people can relate

1137
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 2: to that. They might be inspired by that.

1138
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 6: So right, like you said, you know you loved watching me,

1139
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 6: and that was but really seeing somebody.

1140
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 5: Like like the phoenix, like the rise again.

1141
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 4: Meaningful and it relates to everybody.

1142
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 1: It's you actually are become the more authentic version, whereas

1143
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: the other place feels like aspirational, where now it's I

1144
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: feel it's very equally as aspirational, but there's like a

1145
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 1: groundedness in it. There's a reality, there's a relatability, there's humanity,

1146
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 1: there's people can actually see themselves in you, whereas before

1147
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 1: they're like, I don't know how and like it's great,

1148
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 1: like I want to take a picture with her, but

1149
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 1: but other than that.

1150
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 6: So that is why you asked early on in this

1151
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 6: like how am I today or how? And that's why

1152
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 6: I can sider here and say I'm like, I'm joyful,

1153
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 6: right because the journey for me hasn't been easy, but

1154
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 6: who is it easy for anybody?

1155
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 4: Really?

1156
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 6: I'm just sitting any place where I know that what

1157
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 6: I'm doing right now is it's what it's God intended

1158
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 6: me to be doing.

1159
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 4: Good. Mom's bad choices. Yeah, it's the rise, It's the

1160
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 4: lesson that you learn from it. All the lesson that

1161
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 4: you get to like live out loud too, you know,

1162
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 4: like you said coming being you know, Black people, a

1163
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,840
Speaker 4: lot of our things are We're taught to sweep it

1164
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 4: under the carpet and it's it's something we keep at home.

1165
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 4: We don't talk about it hush hush, like the I

1166
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 4: didn't come home last Like you don't tell nobody our business.

1167
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 4: But when you can mess up publicly and then rise

1168
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 4: up again publicly, it's so meaningful and it does set

1169
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 4: the president that we have to talk about it. We

1170
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 4: have to talk about it so that other people know

1171
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 4: this should happens. This is real life, like everything is

1172
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 4: not you know, butterflies and very which.

1173
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 6: Is what social media like exemplifies, like everybody wants to

1174
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 6: show their best life or in social media and my

1175
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 6: reality and one that I choose now because I'm also

1176
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 6: at a point in my world that I'm not going

1177
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 6: to allow my narrative to be written for me anymore

1178
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 6: as young, right, you kind of let know like this

1179
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 6: is who I am, this is what I did, but

1180
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 6: this is where it's going.

1181
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 2: And there are.

1182
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 5: Good days and there are bad days, and folks.

1183
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 2: Need to see all of it.

1184
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 4: How is your marriage during that time, Like, I know,

1185
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 4: you're no longer married, but like you were married when

1186
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 4: you were got locked up, you were married and came out.

1187
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:58,800
Speaker 4: You know, how did that affect your marriage?

1188
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 6: It's certainly a strain, certainly a strain because I you know,

1189
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 6: we talk about like not airing any dirty launcher, Like

1190
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 6: I didn't even share certain things with my husband about

1191
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 6: that time, right, And so in his defense, right, like

1192
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:19,320
Speaker 6: he entered a relationship with all without all the moving parts,

1193
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 6: which is unfair, right, and something that I am saddened

1194
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 6: that he had to partaken that. But also, you know,

1195
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 6: you also realize things about yourself that beyond that, it

1196
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 6: just wasn't going to work, you know, for for lots

1197
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,680
Speaker 6: of reasons, and one that I've shared this year and

1198
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 6: that you know, I've kind of came out in twenty

1199
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 6: twenty four and and people are like so surprised, and

1200
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 6: why do.

1201
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:48,839
Speaker 1: You say kicking, I don't see, it's not like a thing.

1202
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,839
Speaker 6: For the ten plus years that I was away from

1203
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,799
Speaker 6: the public eye, like I was living my true and

1204
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 6: authentic life, right, Like I knew for many years that I,

1205
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 6: you know, there was an attraction to women and you know,

1206
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 6: like guys were cool I also knew that I wanted kids, right,

1207
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 6: like you know for that and it's not well not

1208
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,320
Speaker 6: even that's.

1209
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 2: That's the full truth now.

1210
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 6: But you also during that time you fit into a

1211
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 6: certain stereotype like this is what you know the female

1212
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 6: athlete should be, this is what sponsors are paying for.

1213
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 6: It's this pretty picture, right, and you know I mean.

1214
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 2: To be totally transparent.

1215
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 6: You know, my the culture in which I was raised

1216
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 6: in very conservative Bellisian culture, like you know, I have

1217
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 6: a mom, that's just not a thing, didn't support me, right,

1218
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 6: It didn't fit in that. So again you make choices

1219
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 6: and you just get to a point where I'm just like,

1220
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 6: it's just as heavy. It's just time to be me.

1221
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 6: And so that's when I say I came out. It's

1222
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 6: I didn't even realize when I made the decision to

1223
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 6: put myself back out in the pub like I in

1224
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 6: regards to my message, that the world didn't know that

1225
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 6: I was, you know, a queer woman of color, like

1226
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 6: it was a I had to be reminded like like

1227
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 6: my partner, my friends.

1228
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 2: Were like you, the world doesn't.

1229
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: You didn't share that everyone doesn't gay.

1230
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 6: Everyone is funny because now you know everybody now will

1231
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 6: come in and say, oh, I.

1232
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 2: Knew all a long, you know how we get.

1233
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 1: The way he was running. I thought that I see

1234
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 1: when you cut all your hair off, the only gays

1235
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: do they.

1236
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 6: And so this this journey back for me, this like

1237
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 6: second wind per se.

1238
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 2: It's just me living my authentic.

1239
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 5: Self, like I am who I am, right I do.

1240
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 6: I'm not at a point where I'm like I care

1241
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 6: what they say, like this is this is who I am,

1242
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 6: and my story is strong and powerful and I'm passionate

1243
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 6: about it and this is my life and this is

1244
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,440
Speaker 6: my fa this is my world.

1245
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 4: Take it or leave it right. You don't have to

1246
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 4: like me, but you can keep it moving. How did

1247
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 4: your kids take it? Was there a moment you had

1248
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 4: to tell them like listen, mommy's lesbian again.

1249
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 2: It wasn't like that coming out way.

1250
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 6: It was just like it was just a natural, like

1251
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 6: after a divorce, dad. And you know, I made certain

1252
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 6: choices to bring whom I'm bringing around them, which I'm

1253
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 6: very cautious about. You know, there were and they're all

1254
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 6: different ages and different understanding levels, and you kind of

1255
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 6: figure that out along the way.

1256
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 2: And it wasn't any I mean it was. It was

1257
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: tough because.

1258
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 5: It's not dad right.

1259
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 4: It would like who is right?

1260
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 6: But again it wasn't like a shock factor or anything

1261
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 6: like I'm living with my partner now, my daughter lives

1262
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 6: in a household.

1263
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 2: My kids know mom. I think there's, like.

1264
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: Said, this misconception that like when when you when you

1265
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 1: lay it on your kids, like these life choices that

1266
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: you've made, If these life choices that you make are

1267
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: making mom happy, the kids are going to be happy.

1268
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 1: You know, they don't really give a fuck, like they care,

1269
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: they do give a fuck. They give a fuck that

1270
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 1: their mother is happy and that they're showing the mom

1271
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: is showing up for them.

1272
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 2: And so I think that never and of course that

1273
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 2: never changed.

1274
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: And I think like for the moms listening, who are

1275
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 1: you know, battling with, whether that's their sexuality, whether that's

1276
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 1: you know, leaving dad, whether that's career changing, location changing.

1277
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 1: And that's even a message for me myself too, is

1278
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 1: like we're always so concerned about if we're going to

1279
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: fuck up our kids, and the way we surely fuck

1280
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: up our kids is not being ourselves or.

1281
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,920
Speaker 6: Hiding hiding trauma, right, Like that's another thing that you know,

1282
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,919
Speaker 6: we in our culture, like you.

1283
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,600
Speaker 2: Don't want to share that you're going through.

1284
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 4: You're strong, everything's fine, and your kids feeal you. They

1285
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 4: came from you. Then that energetic and bilical cord is real.

1286
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 6: My daughter, I could get in the car and just

1287
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 6: having a rough day.

1288
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 2: And I won't say anything.

1289
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 6: She's like, she'll get from school, She's like, what's wrong

1290
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 6: with you? Yes, I'm like no, I'm good to stop.

1291
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 6: So she will literally turn down the music and say

1292
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 6: what happened today?

1293
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 2: Right?

1294
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 6: So to think that just because you don't say it

1295
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:14,439
Speaker 6: or you don't show it right, like they don't know, and.

1296
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 2: Then that's it's a confusing.

1297
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 5: Time for them anyway, and you're intelligence.

1298
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:23,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, they're already hormonal and I'm mad for no reason.

1299
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 4: And now you're going to sit up there and lie

1300
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 4: in my face. And just like you tell your kids,

1301
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 4: you can't lie to me, I know everything before it happens.

1302
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:32,440
Speaker 4: It's very much the same way. Your kid is super

1303
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 4: intelligent and intuitive, mostly because they're closer to God the

1304
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 4: younger that they are, and second of all, because they

1305
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: came from you and they know you. And I really

1306
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 4: I really abide by that in my adulthood, Like I'm

1307
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,800
Speaker 4: not going to insult my child's intelligence because I remember

1308
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 4: when my parents do that shit to me coming out

1309
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 4: the grage, smelling like weed, Like what the hell y'all

1310
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 4: doing in there? Nothing you lying, you know, And it's

1311
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 4: just like I don't ever want to have a relationship

1312
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 4: where I'm insulting because I think it's like in life

1313
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 4: and adulthood, especially with women, people are going to try

1314
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 4: and confuse you, going to try and take you further

1315
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 4: and further away from your intuition. I am not going

1316
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 4: to contribute to your confusion. I'm going to tell you

1317
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:07,439
Speaker 4: when you're right. I'm going to tell you when you're wrong,

1318
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 4: and like I'm going to respect you the same way

1319
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 4: that I expect you respect me, because it's a two

1320
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 4: way street. And I think a lot of times and

1321
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 4: especially like things are only weird when we make them weird.

1322
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, Mom's gay, you know, Like why are you

1323
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 4: doing all that? You know what I mean. It's just

1324
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 4: like especially the time now is like everybody is, you know,

1325
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 4: and they're like, yeah, Jenny has.

1326
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 6: You know for moms, Jenny's mom is Polly.

1327
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, they're going to commune like who, like,

1328
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 4: you know, what I mean, like our mom's not binary,

1329
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:42,320
Speaker 4: they're they you know, like the kids are so more

1330
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 4: further informed than we were, Like there's it's so much

1331
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:48,480
Speaker 4: more like present in media and we can't hide it,

1332
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 4: so it's like we might as well talk about it.

1333
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 4: And I always thinks like your happiness as a mother,

1334
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 4: as a parent is so important that like denying yourself

1335
01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 4: the truth is essentially teaching your kid how to lie.

1336
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 4: If I'm not being myself, I'm telling you that you

1337
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 4: also have to shift in order to be accepted and

1338
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,120
Speaker 4: to be loved, and to be further and further away

1339
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,720
Speaker 4: from the authenticity. And that's even from your own recommendation.

1340
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:14,120
Speaker 4: Like if you don't want your kid to be this

1341
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 4: or that, you're essentially telling your kid hide and be

1342
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 4: something different than what God made you. And I think

1343
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 4: that's such a terrible message, and it's such a confusing

1344
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 4: message as you have kids going off into adulthood trying

1345
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 4: to figure their shit out already, like don't be an

1346
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 4: oppressor in the space that's already going to be extremely

1347
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 4: difficult to kind of like get your two feet. So

1348
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 4: I think that's really, you know, I'm really I'm so

1349
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 4: honored to hear your story, to share this time with

1350
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 4: you and to hear how you've overcome and the things

1351
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 4: that you've been through and the success that you've had

1352
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 4: while maintaining yourself, you know, and your authenticity and having

1353
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 4: the time to sit back and be like, let me shift,

1354
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 4: let me course correct, because a lot of people don't

1355
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 4: have the wherewithal to do that, and they try to

1356
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 4: stay within this you know, whatever is likable and lovable

1357
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 4: for the public, but you know, at the end of

1358
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 4: the day, you have to live with yourself. You have

1359
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 4: to go to sleep at night, you have to love

1360
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,920
Speaker 4: that shit. And so I appreciate this story and like

1361
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 4: hearing from you.

1362
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:14,440
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1363
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's same. I think that, like, as women, we

1364
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 1: carry so much shame, and it seemed it seems like

1365
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: the world, maybe not I want to put it all

1366
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 1: in the world, but the world was trying to throw

1367
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 1: you away, then keep you down and use everything to

1368
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:35,440
Speaker 1: just suppress all of the accomplishments that you've had. And

1369
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: I'm just so inspired by your journey to say no,

1370
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 1: I'm not done and like you're not going to put

1371
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: me away.

1372
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 2: You're not going to put me in that box.

1373
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I think that like more women

1374
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:53,280
Speaker 1: need to to abide by that rule and realize that

1375
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 1: there's always a second chance, there's always a second wind.

1376
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 1: I love the name of your podcast, second Wind, Second Wind,

1377
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:02,720
Speaker 1: and I I definitely when I read when I was

1378
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:05,439
Speaker 1: when I read the name of the podcast, and I realized, oh, yeah,

1379
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: I understand this because as my dad being a professional

1380
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 1: athlete and him being one of the best in his

1381
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 1: in the career, he still holds a record that has

1382
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 1: never been broken, and I think that there's a lot

1383
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 1: of pressure that people try to put on him and

1384
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 1: he'd be like whatever, Like I don't even watch football,

1385
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:28,160
Speaker 1: and like also like this this idea that a lot

1386
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: of athletes, they become so locked into their identity as

1387
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:35,800
Speaker 1: an athlete that their second win some oft times never

1388
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 1: comes because they're stuck here. They don't know what to

1389
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 1: do after after that, after pouring so much time, so

1390
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 1: much energy, everything, and you and.

1391
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 6: You realize that it doesn't matter who you are. And me,

1392
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:50,600
Speaker 6: he could be an everyday show.

1393
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 1: I mean, oh, you could be a doctor. That's like

1394
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 1: I want to be a hola hooper.

1395
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 6: And that's I mean in regards to my podcast, that's

1396
01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:58,800
Speaker 6: that's what it is like it's entertainers and people that

1397
01:05:58,880 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 6: you know, but it's also like everyday people.

1398
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 5: That have hit success in life, whatever success looks like.

1399
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 5: I mean, you could be the deacon in your church.

1400
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 6: And you mess up right and you lose it all,

1401
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 6: and then you just make the decision to you know what,

1402
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 6: like it doesn't have to end here, Like I don't

1403
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 6: have to stay stuck in my past, and it's and

1404
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 6: you know it's my affirmation. We will get to that,

1405
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 6: but like it's you know, your your setbacks in life.

1406
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 2: Can be like a catalyst for something even bigger.

1407
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 6: It could be a catalyst for like your your big

1408
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 6: comeback And people say, you know why come back? You

1409
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,880
Speaker 6: know why play in the w NBA, right Because again,

1410
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:42,360
Speaker 6: like for me, my kids are everything and they need

1411
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:44,960
Speaker 6: I needed. I needed to be okay that I had

1412
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 6: created a narrative so that they can.

1413
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: See it, that you're in control of it, right.

1414
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 6: That I that I'm in control of it, and that

1415
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 6: in it the world can see and need if they

1416
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:59,560
Speaker 6: need an example, Hey, it's me, yo, I love that.

1417
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 1: After me, your setback in life can be the catalyst

1418
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:04,840
Speaker 1: to your comeback, your biggest comeback.

1419
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 4: Your cat your setback in life can be the catalyst

1420
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 4: to your biggest comeback. Yeah, I resignate with that. I

1421
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 4: think even with Eric and I, like we were in

1422
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 4: a very place where we're like, we're single moms, we're

1423
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:20,800
Speaker 4: a stereotype and the statistic and like it's over, you know,

1424
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 4: and we're just like, fuck it, We're gonna we're gonna

1425
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,160
Speaker 4: talk say the things, talk about dating, talk about things

1426
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 4: that are not likable for women and mothers, and we're

1427
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,280
Speaker 4: gonna smoke our weed and we're gonna stay it out loud.

1428
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:34,720
Speaker 6: And you're probably gonna fail at some point in it

1429
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:37,160
Speaker 6: a little bit here and there, but it's part of it.

1430
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:40,840
Speaker 6: And it's also like prepping for the failure, right, I

1431
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 6: call it prepping for the hiccup, prepping for the roadblocks.

1432
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,560
Speaker 4: Because there's going to be a road Yes, there's going

1433
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 4: to be a hit. There's going there's no human that

1434
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:50,040
Speaker 4: exists that has not fucked up.

1435
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 6: So even in y'all's example, I mean, I'm sure you

1436
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:55,920
Speaker 6: all and have shared like the hiccups even into getting

1437
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,440
Speaker 6: to where you are right now. For anybody like seeing

1438
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 6: hearing this to think that it's been smooth sailing the.

1439
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:07,120
Speaker 4: Whole way right, that's illusional. Shit will get hard and

1440
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:12,520
Speaker 4: you will be okay. You know, Amen? Do you want

1441
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:13,280
Speaker 4: to do Tarot time?

1442
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,200
Speaker 1: Yes? Tterot time.

1443
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:29,640
Speaker 4: Of swords? Interesting? It seems like there's of sports is

1444
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:33,519
Speaker 4: It's an interesting card upright?

1445
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 1: It actually represents betrayal, deception, getting away with something, acting strategically. Traditionally,

1446
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,559
Speaker 1: the seven of swords indicates that betrayal, deception, and trickery.

1447
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 1: You might be trying to get away with something and

1448
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 1: are sneaking around behind other people's backs, hoping to go undetected.

1449
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 1: If you're lucky, you might get away with your secret intact,

1450
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: but if you're unlucky, others will soon find out what

1451
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,559
Speaker 1: you have done, causing you shame and embarrassment. Be aware

1452
01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 1: that anytime you use cunning or deception to gain an

1453
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,160
Speaker 1: advantage over someone or something else, you're at risk of

1454
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:06,040
Speaker 1: being found out. Alternatively, you may be a victim of

1455
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:08,519
Speaker 1: someone else's betrayal. Others are not being candid with you,

1456
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,679
Speaker 1: and you may be unaware of their lives and deception.

1457
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:13,680
Speaker 1: You may trust someone who then turns out to be

1458
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 1: running towards our own agenda. Look out for any sneaky

1459
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 1: behavior and listen to your intuition when something does not

1460
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,400
Speaker 1: feel right or seems too good to be true. On

1461
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:24,000
Speaker 1: a more positive note, the Seven of Swords points out

1462
01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 1: that you need to be strategic in what you do.

1463
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 1: You know you cannot do everything at once, nor should you. Instead,

1464
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:31,680
Speaker 1: you must prioritize what's important to you and direct your

1465
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 1: focus and attention on the few tasks that will make

1466
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 1: you move closer to your goal. It's the eighty twenty rule.

1467
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 1: Twenty percent of your work will account for eighty percent

1468
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 1: of your results, so focus on the twenty percent. You

1469
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: may be able to accept some responsibilities or duties, but

1470
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 1: not all of them at once. You may say yes

1471
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:51,719
Speaker 1: to some projects at the expense of others. At times.

1472
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:53,640
Speaker 1: The Seven of Swords suggests that you may need to

1473
01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 1: put yourself first to get what you want, even if

1474
01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:00,200
Speaker 1: it means letting others down or putting others off of

1475
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 1: towards The seven a Swords could also imply that you

1476
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:05,200
Speaker 1: are trying to escape from a situation that is not

1477
01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:07,720
Speaker 1: working for you anymore, rather than dealing with it head on.

1478
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 1: You may attempt to run away from commitment, responsibility, or love.

1479
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:15,599
Speaker 1: You may procrastinate, letting problems slip and become worse. Sometimes

1480
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:18,080
Speaker 1: you just have to face what has to be faced.

1481
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:24,639
Speaker 1: Hum you but you.

1482
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:27,960
Speaker 4: Know, but the reverse is interesting to The reverse says

1483
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,559
Speaker 4: you may doubt yourself and your abilities. For example, if

1484
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:33,120
Speaker 4: you have started in new business and you think to yourself,

1485
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,879
Speaker 4: who am I doing this? Know that this fear is talking.

1486
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 4: Go get out of your head and trust that you

1487
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:40,040
Speaker 4: have everything that you need to make a new venture

1488
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:43,799
Speaker 4: a success. Similarly, the seven of Swords reverse can suggest

1489
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:47,080
Speaker 4: that you're deceiving yourself, trying to trick yourself into believing

1490
01:10:47,120 --> 01:10:49,599
Speaker 4: something even though it is out of integrity and out

1491
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:52,479
Speaker 4: of integrity with your true self. You may attempt to

1492
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:54,640
Speaker 4: fool yourself that everything is okay when it is not.

1493
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:57,720
Speaker 4: Now is the time to get real with where you're

1494
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:01,240
Speaker 4: at and confront your situation head on. So it's just

1495
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:02,880
Speaker 4: you know, we've talked about all of those things, so

1496
01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:05,479
Speaker 4: I think that was very interesting on the side as well.

1497
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:09,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on our

1498
01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:14,560
Speaker 1: show chat. This is great. Where can people find your podcast?

1499
01:11:14,720 --> 01:11:17,480
Speaker 2: You all the things everywhere?

1500
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:21,200
Speaker 6: No, you can find a second win podcast wherever you

1501
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:23,800
Speaker 6: get your podcasts, Spotify wherever that is. Of course I'm

1502
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,520
Speaker 6: on Instagram and TikTok.

1503
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:28,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're on TikTok? Can you be doing TikTok?

1504
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't dances all over, but are you

1505
01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:33,280
Speaker 6: sure you do it right now? Over?

1506
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:34,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1507
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,160
Speaker 1: I had a guest come on the other day. She's like,

1508
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:37,439
Speaker 1: we need to do TikTok and she's like, I can

1509
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:39,599
Speaker 1: find one. In four seconds she went, this is the dance.

1510
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:41,200
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, is that how easy

1511
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:43,920
Speaker 1: it is? I'm over here like searching for hours, like

1512
01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:45,400
Speaker 1: which one speaks to my soul?

1513
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 4: Like we learned that dance about eight seconds and we

1514
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 4: did it, okay.

1515
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:52,639
Speaker 2: And then when TikTok disappears, all that hard work.

1516
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:55,320
Speaker 1: Right, TikTok and go nowhere? Girl, They're not going to

1517
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:56,439
Speaker 1: let that thing go nowhere.

1518
01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:57,559
Speaker 2: It's too much money.

1519
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 1: Well, we will make sure to link all of your

1520
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:01,920
Speaker 1: links in this episode description, So make sure you check

1521
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:05,040
Speaker 1: out Marion Jones and make sure you check us out.

1522
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:08,559
Speaker 1: Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Like we said

1523
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:10,400
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the show, if you didn't listen, bitch,

1524
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:12,080
Speaker 1: now is the time I say bitch in the most

1525
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:14,880
Speaker 1: loving way, loving living way, but I really do mean it.

1526
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:19,000
Speaker 1: And also make sure you follow the Good Vibe Retreat.

1527
01:12:19,479 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 1: We have three retreats this year that are still available.

1528
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:25,360
Speaker 1: All the other ones are sold out, and these ones

1529
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:27,320
Speaker 1: are almost sold out too, so make sure you check

1530
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:29,160
Speaker 1: out the Good Vibe Retreat. We have a couple's retreat

1531
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:31,720
Speaker 1: in June, and then we have two women's retreats in

1532
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,519
Speaker 1: Costa Rica in July and August. And I would love

1533
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:38,040
Speaker 1: to see there and take care of you anyway. I

1534
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:40,599
Speaker 1: love you, love you bye please.

1535
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:44,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm living been so good? Can't you tell I

1536
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,599
Speaker 3: went through a drought. That's until I find a well

1537
01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:48,519
Speaker 3: may my have been known art? I used to be

1538
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 3: broken tail, now got the blues dance and might beyond,

1539
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:54,599
Speaker 3: say Jazell throat shot pop and this cower in our voices,

1540
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:56,400
Speaker 3: patriarch and catch it in the box.

1541
01:12:56,439 --> 01:12:57,160
Speaker 2: So what'sploids?

1542
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,799
Speaker 5: Women put the p and power, So what's the pointless?

1543
01:12:59,800 --> 01:12:59,920
Speaker 6: Say?

1544
01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 1: Want me to be good?

1545
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 2: So I make bad choice?

1546
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 3: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

1547
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:08,160
Speaker 3: It he's in on the cannabus in their bathbon walked

1548
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:11,040
Speaker 3: in Barcel's cap and I blew his cat boll hop dog.

1549
01:13:11,120 --> 01:13:13,600
Speaker 3: Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and the

1550
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:16,160
Speaker 3: waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent

1551
01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 3: the lover, when too it looks like a water summer

1552
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:20,800
Speaker 3: where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime.

1553
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:22,720
Speaker 3: I do what doll ain't no one that needs to

1554
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,320
Speaker 3: run it by