WEBVTT - Miss Soleil Moon Frye 

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<v Speaker 1>Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>How long have we known each other? We were just

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<v Speaker 2>trying to figure this out the other day.

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<v Speaker 3>We're like since we were little, since we were teenagers.

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<v Speaker 3>And then we were talking about your eighteenth birthday, Oh

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<v Speaker 3>my gosh, and how gorgeous you are. I still remember

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<v Speaker 3>I was wearing the coveralls, some coverall, but they were

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<v Speaker 3>like cool, I don't know, they were like con tempo

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<v Speaker 3>casual coveralls or something. You were in this beautiful white dress, a.

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<v Speaker 1>Liah like bandage dress. I was like trying to be like,

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<v Speaker 1>look at me.

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<v Speaker 2>I made it.

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<v Speaker 3>And you had the absolute hottest guys in the world

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<v Speaker 3>at your birthday, and I just remember.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 3>You had Luke, Brian, Yeah, Jason, Yeah, I mean Ian,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean it was I in there. Wait anyway, it

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<v Speaker 3>was just the hottest guys. I'm and I and all

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<v Speaker 3>of young Hollywood, all.

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<v Speaker 1>Of young Hollywood, and then all of my like real

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<v Speaker 1>friends from high school. Yes, So it was like this

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<v Speaker 1>odd balance. And then I just remember like that night,

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<v Speaker 1>like Luke and Jason were just like I was like

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<v Speaker 1>a Tory sandwich for like my eighteenth birthday.

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<v Speaker 4>No, it was like wild.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, what an amazing sandwich to be between I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>And for me not to have eyes for Brian is weird.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I couldn't even tell you what Brian said that night,

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<v Speaker 1>what he was wearing that night.

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<v Speaker 4>I remember what he was wearing pictures for your birthday.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, I think, okay, okay, so so follow me and

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<v Speaker 3>tell me if you remember this I remember Brian wearing

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<v Speaker 3>because obviously okay, so truth be told. We both have

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<v Speaker 3>so much love for Brian, obviously you, I mean, your

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<v Speaker 3>love story is the most exquisite, most beautiful, just I'm

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<v Speaker 3>mine bent by it. And I also had a great

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<v Speaker 3>deal of love for Brian, and we both still have

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<v Speaker 3>a great deal of love for Brian and Sharna, of course,

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<v Speaker 3>just to reminisce, because it's so fun being nostalgic.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you remember I remember.

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<v Speaker 3>Brian was wearing a copper Do you remember a copper suit?

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<v Speaker 3>Like a copper orangish coming back to you? Weeziest memory ever?

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<v Speaker 1>And I can't don't tell him this, tell us I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even remember him there, Like it was the one

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<v Speaker 1>night in history of life that I wasn't focused on Brian.

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<v Speaker 3>Austin Grass Okay, well, I may have pictures otherwise, because

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<v Speaker 3>I vaguely remember him doing like the Roger rabbit or

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<v Speaker 3>something like I have Maye. It's also because I have

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<v Speaker 3>pictures too of it that like, you know, is it

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<v Speaker 3>like how much do we remember through photographs?

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<v Speaker 1>And like my memory is like I see it in

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<v Speaker 1>my head, but you're like that as well, So like

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<v Speaker 1>it's wild At that one night, I don't remember, but

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<v Speaker 1>Luke and Jason were like it was so kind too.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like here's our cast met and our.

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<v Speaker 1>Friends and the producer's daughter and like it's her eighteenth

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<v Speaker 1>birthday and we are like the heart throbs of America

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<v Speaker 1>of the world right now, and like we're just going

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<v Speaker 1>to devote all our attention to her. Like what it's

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<v Speaker 1>how generous?

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<v Speaker 4>So sweet?

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<v Speaker 3>I think she's in Brisley was wearing a tie if

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<v Speaker 3>I remember correctly, Yeah, tie, Like something that I love

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<v Speaker 3>that we've spoken about is as wild and outrageous as

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<v Speaker 3>our lives were, and as colorful and as crazy as

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<v Speaker 3>everything was, we still very much had that innocence and

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<v Speaker 3>excitement of oh my goodness, like, look at these heart throbs.

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<v Speaker 3>I suppose like what other people feel when they go

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<v Speaker 3>to like a football game or you know, some kind

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<v Speaker 3>of exquisitive at high school.

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<v Speaker 4>It was just like it was a totally.

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<v Speaker 3>Unorthodox childhood, but in a lot of.

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<v Speaker 4>Ways it was.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean I was always boy crazy, always have been

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<v Speaker 3>the same. It was ingrained in me from the time

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<v Speaker 3>I was born.

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, so anyway, and I know I told you this,

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<v Speaker 1>but yeah, like that eighteenth birthday party, I will never

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<v Speaker 1>forget because that's when Luke Perry kissed me.

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<v Speaker 2>In the limo. I filed the story before, but can't

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<v Speaker 2>get over that kiss me in.

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<v Speaker 1>The limo with all my like not my high school

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<v Speaker 1>girlfriends from the show, but my high school girlfriends from

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<v Speaker 1>real life. Like they were all there and like it

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<v Speaker 1>was just magical.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Tori, I want to know everything about the kiss

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<v Speaker 3>because I Luke Perry's.

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<v Speaker 2>So much and he would have kissed you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a great Perry story that I don't even

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<v Speaker 3>know that I haven't shared much. But first I want

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<v Speaker 3>to hear about the kiss and then I'll tell you

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<v Speaker 3>my Luke Perry story.

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<v Speaker 1>So he was like we were going into this big, long,

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<v Speaker 1>like white stretched limo, like prom limo, going back to

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<v Speaker 1>my parents. The manor and like we were just all

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<v Speaker 1>going to hang out and everybody was coming back, and

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<v Speaker 1>he like, we're like come with us, and he's like okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and he like dove into the limo with me and

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<v Speaker 1>the girls. And I don't even remember how it happened.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like sitting on the floors, we were all

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<v Speaker 1>piled in and I don't know, we just kissed. It

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't like this crazy long kiss. It was just like

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<v Speaker 1>a moment. But to me, it was like everything was

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<v Speaker 1>it like was it a kiss on the lips or

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<v Speaker 1>was it? Was there actual tongue in the kiss?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't remembers. It was an open mouthed place. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>did you did you?

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<v Speaker 4>Are we allowed to say this on the rio deal?

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<v Speaker 2>This touch of his tongue? Well, I was eighteen, so

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<v Speaker 2>I guess I was legal. It was fine? Right?

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<v Speaker 4>Was there tongue involvatory? That's all I have to know?

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<v Speaker 3>Did you touch Luke Berry's tongue? That sounds so r

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sure yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And I also remember he gave me gun earrings for

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<v Speaker 1>my eighteenth birthday.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, he gave you gun earrings and his tongue.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean that says it all.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't like girl.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like, oh, this whole entire internmy is gonna have

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<v Speaker 3>to be censored and or not.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he gave me gun earrings, but that was because

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<v Speaker 1>like he was like a cowboy.

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<v Speaker 2>And like he was and there was anything.

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<v Speaker 4>Like no, no, I know.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean it's like, so he was such a good

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<v Speaker 3>human being and so sweet and then played this series.

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<v Speaker 4>Did you pierce them immediately?

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<v Speaker 2>Probably should have, but.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you know, that was a Saturday night and Monday

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<v Speaker 1>went back to set and like you know, there was Brian,

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<v Speaker 1>so I forgot all about Luke.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the prize, I'm the prize.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, so my Luke story.

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<v Speaker 2>He uh.

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<v Speaker 3>He was just the kindest, most most beautiful spirit, as

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<v Speaker 3>you know, and he was always so kind to me.

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<v Speaker 3>And I remember on one of my birthdays, I went

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<v Speaker 3>and visited you guys on the set, and he gave

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<v Speaker 3>me this huge hug in love. And of course, where

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<v Speaker 3>would I want to spend my birthday, you know, other

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<v Speaker 3>than with all all of you, And I know I'm blushing.

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<v Speaker 3>And I had such a crush on him, and he

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<v Speaker 3>was so kind and sweet and he was such a

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful listener. I remember him being such a beautiful listener

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<v Speaker 3>and so warm and always made you feel so.

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<v Speaker 4>Loved.

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<v Speaker 3>And so we had this, we had this moment where

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<v Speaker 3>so we worked with the same person. I guess we

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<v Speaker 3>must have had the same manager or agent or something.

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<v Speaker 3>And the person, I mean, this is absolutely insane. The

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<v Speaker 3>person was learning how to fly and decided that they

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<v Speaker 3>would take us in learning to fly. Luke Whuke and

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<v Speaker 3>I right, because we had this person that like worked

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<v Speaker 3>with us both okay, and this is a crazy story.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a crazy story. And he said, why don't

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<v Speaker 3>we all go to Catalina for lunch. Now we're not

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<v Speaker 3>talking about this isn't like some private plane, big plane whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like you know those teeny tiny little planes that

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<v Speaker 3>people learn how to, you know, the teeny tiny plane,

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<v Speaker 3>the teeny tiny plane that somebody learns how to.

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<v Speaker 2>It has like a propeller.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's like it has like a.

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<v Speaker 2>Propeller, right, is that right?

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<v Speaker 3>This was so terrified, so so okay, so literally it's yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it's like, you know, a little thing in the front

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<v Speaker 3>and it's like a three seater.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh I know, I know.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Remember again, this is not a private plane. This

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<v Speaker 3>is not a fancy plane. This is the kind of

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<v Speaker 3>plane somebody learns how to fly and he's like, let me.

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<v Speaker 4>Take you guys out to lunch.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, So Luke and I go on this plane to

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<v Speaker 3>Catalina and we go and you know, it's a little

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<v Speaker 3>you know, and I too am really like.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>And so we get to lunch and we actually get

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<v Speaker 3>there and we land and we're like, okay, hey, we're good,

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<v Speaker 3>We're good, you know, Okay, we got here. When we

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<v Speaker 3>go to leave, like the clouds have come in and

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<v Speaker 3>it's like stormy, and literally they're like are we able

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<v Speaker 3>to fly? Now? Remember this guy is like just learned

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<v Speaker 3>how to fly, and like we're going on his big

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<v Speaker 3>outing out and literally I remember as the plane, this

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<v Speaker 3>is so insane. As the plane goes off, there's like

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<v Speaker 3>this mountaintop in Catalina that it goes off and all

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<v Speaker 3>of a sudden, it just drops and it drops, and

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<v Speaker 3>I literally like at this point, I don't even know

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<v Speaker 3>that we have seat belts on, because we are convinced

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<v Speaker 3>that like this is it. They jump into well what

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<v Speaker 3>I did. I jumped into Looperry's arms. I threw myself

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<v Speaker 3>in his arms and we ended up somehow. I think

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<v Speaker 3>we ended up on the floor of the This is

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<v Speaker 3>of the plane, if I remember correctly, And because we're convinced,

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<v Speaker 3>and the plane's going like this, because the plane's going

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<v Speaker 3>like going up and down and up and down, and

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<v Speaker 3>so what happens I cannot I've never shared this story

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<v Speaker 3>in the entire Yeah, And the plane is going like this, right,

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<v Speaker 3>like up and down, up and down, and he and

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<v Speaker 3>I are like up and down, sharing our life stories

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<v Speaker 3>because we are convinced that this is it. And he's

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<v Speaker 3>holding me in his arms and I'm holding him in

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<v Speaker 3>my arms, and we just our entire lives flashed in

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<v Speaker 3>front of us. And I was able to like share

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<v Speaker 3>my life in all of the you know, thirty minute

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<v Speaker 3>plane ride, and it was just actually one of the

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<v Speaker 3>most beautiful experiences in my life, and that bonded us forever.

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<v Speaker 4>And I don't think I've ever told that story ever.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like blown away, which is for a callback. I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't their tongue.

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<v Speaker 4>The plane was going like this, and I probably was.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't even know if I was like sixteen years

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<v Speaker 3>old at the time or anything. It was just more

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<v Speaker 3>like he I thought we were convinced that the plane

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<v Speaker 3>and so he was just like, but that protect.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, well that's what I was thinking.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, well, if you're gonna you know anyone.

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<v Speaker 4>And that was the other thing was I was like,

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<v Speaker 4>as much.

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<v Speaker 3>As I was terrified, I was like, but I am

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<v Speaker 3>in Luke Perry's arm, So it was like of like

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<v Speaker 3>being really afraid. And also that Luke Perry was like

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<v Speaker 3>my superhero like in the moment.

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<v Speaker 4>And I was like, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 3>It was Yeah, it was crazy, but we landed safely,

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<v Speaker 3>and I always remember that, was that a crazy story?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>I got I got, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, like imagine that headline though, No.

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<v Speaker 3>God, no, no, no, no, it was so magical. It's

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<v Speaker 3>like one of it's like, it's one of my favorite memories.

0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:07.440
<v Speaker 1>My God, Harry and Punky Power like Peril and plane

0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Punky Perry Power, Punky Pary Power Perry Punky didn't work

0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:14.640
<v Speaker 1>this time as a Peril. No.

0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm sorry, it's sorry. Sorry.

0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:16.439
<v Speaker 3>You know what.

0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:18.559
<v Speaker 4>I should have just kissed him. I should have just

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.760
<v Speaker 4>kissed I should have kissed him. I should have just

0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 4>grabbed him.

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:28.240
<v Speaker 1>And oh he was probably I can I just imagine

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.440
<v Speaker 1>he was probably sweet and telling you it was going

0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.200
<v Speaker 1>to be okay, and He's like, tell me about your life,

0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, I.

0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:37.199
<v Speaker 2>Didn't think it was going to be okay.

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:40.360
<v Speaker 3>And because we really like we were really.

0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:43.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what was the guy saying that was flying this plane?

0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:45.440
<v Speaker 4>I think he was just trying to like keep the

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:45.960
<v Speaker 4>plane up.

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 3>And it's a crazy story, do you guys, Land, Punky

0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 3>and Perry there you go. I mean a story. See,

0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:59.040
<v Speaker 3>it's a first, it's a first. I gotta share a story.

0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 3>First story Clouds Brittain in the Clouds written and I

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:04.360
<v Speaker 3>will never forget that.

0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:06.880
<v Speaker 4>It was so it was really beautiful.

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:09.880
<v Speaker 2>Did you ever get a small plane again after that?

0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.960
<v Speaker 4>You know, on a few occasions.

0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I have ever, but I was I had.

0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:19.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean, these are all going to sound like crazy stories.

0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:25.080
<v Speaker 3>I remember flying into Idaho at one point to me

0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.560
<v Speaker 3>who I love so much, and she was, you know,

0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:32.640
<v Speaker 3>helped essentially bring my children into this world, and she's

0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:36.720
<v Speaker 3>so amazing. And at one time we were again I

0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 3>found myself in a plane and Bruce, the incredible Bruce

0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:43.080
<v Speaker 3>Willis was there and and you know, the plane was

0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:45.720
<v Speaker 3>This is all going to sound like crazy Hollywood stories,

0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 3>but again, like it was like somehow we ended up

0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.839
<v Speaker 3>going on a family trip or something, and and there

0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:55.360
<v Speaker 3>was turbulence, and I just remember thinking, well, Bruce Willis

0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 3>is here on the plane, so we're good. Like I

0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:02.600
<v Speaker 3>felt somehow inevitably like safer because Bruce was on the plane,

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, you're die hard dude, like I'm good.

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 3>That was different that I was like, cool, he like

0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:13.920
<v Speaker 3>kept it all together. I felt safe. And then yeah,

0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 3>there weren't many of those experiences after that. I think

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.400
<v Speaker 3>after that, I was like, I'll be taking Southwest.

0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, jet Blue has my name, So I all over.

0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>A story like that, like because you felt like and

0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.320
<v Speaker 1>this is not going to sound normal to anyone, or

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe it will, Like Bruce Willis is on this plane,

0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:36.120
<v Speaker 1>it's going to be okay.

0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.920
<v Speaker 4>A thousand percent, So like a thousand percent, I was like,

0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:39.160
<v Speaker 4>he can.

0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.720
<v Speaker 3>It's like having taught like if Tom Cruise was like,

0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.080
<v Speaker 3>you know, like fly you know you're like, oh, Tom

0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 3>Cruise here, it's all gonna be okay, which, by the way,

0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 3>way I mean with Tom Cruise, I feel like everything

0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 3>is is okay when it's in a step world, Like

0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm just like like I I.

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he would have like jumped down and like Superman,

0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:58.680
<v Speaker 1>the plane oh, a thousand percent.

0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 3>He would have carried the plane like com Cruise were

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 3>just like carries the plane.

0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.000
<v Speaker 4>He's got you and he's like.

0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:14.880
<v Speaker 2>No one, I'm talking cruise. Okay. So I used to

0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:17.400
<v Speaker 2>panic on planes, like be so.

0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:22.640
<v Speaker 4>I believe I even talking about planes. I just don't worry. Okay, okay, okay, tom.

0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 1>Me so panic on planes. And I'd always count how

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.280
<v Speaker 1>many babies were on the plane, because I always thought, well,

0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 1>if there's babies, like, God's not gonna take us right now,

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:32.480
<v Speaker 1>we know this is not true.

0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.400
<v Speaker 2>This is irrational, by.

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.560
<v Speaker 4>The way, everyone has done this. Everyone.

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:36.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:39.440
<v Speaker 1>And then I'm on a plane once and Michael Bolton

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.120
<v Speaker 1>was on the plane and this is like in his heyday,

0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 1>not his hair day, his hey day at some point

0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.840
<v Speaker 1>and he was on and for some reason before they

0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:50.160
<v Speaker 1>like closed the doors.

0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why, he got up and got off

0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 2>the plane.

0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:58.080
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, oh, now I'm fucked, like in

0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:05.120
<v Speaker 1>my weird like a rational fear, I was like, Michael

0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:08.480
<v Speaker 1>Bolton's here, Nothing's gonna happen. And as he gets up,

0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:10.920
<v Speaker 1>I literally turned to my friend I said, we're getting

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.080
<v Speaker 1>off the plane, and she goes, this is crazy. This

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.800
<v Speaker 1>is fear has gone too far. I said, I know

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.400
<v Speaker 1>it's irrational. I can't help myself. Right now, before they

0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.280
<v Speaker 1>close those doors, Michael Bolton got off.

0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:21.760
<v Speaker 2>We had to get off. We go off the plane.

0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:23.320
<v Speaker 4>You got off got a flane.

0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:26.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because Michael Bolton did correct And did you tell

0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:27.640
<v Speaker 3>Michael Bolton this ever?

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think so. Do you know why he

0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:31.800
<v Speaker 2>got off the plane? No, no, idea.

0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:33.520
<v Speaker 4>He probably was on the wrong plane.

0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:35.400
<v Speaker 3>He probably had too many like cocktails and like ended

0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:37.320
<v Speaker 3>up on the wrong But in.

0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 1>My mind, it's like, if he's on the plane, the

0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:42.120
<v Speaker 1>plane won't ever go down, so I have to get

0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:42.680
<v Speaker 1>off this flight.

0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.200
<v Speaker 2>Of course I checked the flight later. The flight was fine,

0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:46.080
<v Speaker 2>nothing happened.

0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.160
<v Speaker 4>God, that is hysterical.

0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well it's so it's wild.

0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:53.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, well, you and I will have some

0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.840
<v Speaker 3>fun traveling together. Then I went into the Amazon not

0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:58.880
<v Speaker 3>too long ago, and that was wild. And that's like

0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:01.040
<v Speaker 3>one of those planes where they like it down the windows,

0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.960
<v Speaker 3>you know kind of thing. Well, yeah, yeah, like I

0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:05.919
<v Speaker 3>went into the Amazon. I went and stayed with a

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 3>tribe in Ecuador, which was unbelievable. It was really mind blowing.

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:14.280
<v Speaker 3>And and to get in you take this, you know,

0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.760
<v Speaker 3>this tiny plane and then they drop you off in

0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.560
<v Speaker 3>the middle of the Amazon and they come back a

0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:21.800
<v Speaker 3>week later to pick you up. It's really it was

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 3>a really profound experience. And myself, well, so here. So

0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:28.520
<v Speaker 3>there was a small group of us, and my dear

0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 3>friend who's here with me now can attest to this

0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:35.600
<v Speaker 3>because they were with me and and and and I'm

0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:38.040
<v Speaker 3>not kidding. You could roll down the plastic you know,

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:42.439
<v Speaker 3>like window sides, and that's you know, and yeah and uh.

0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 3>And on the way back it was like I think,

0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 3>I think, I think we had like a backpack or something.

0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:49.800
<v Speaker 3>And they were like, oh, no, you have to take

0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:52.119
<v Speaker 3>the backpack off because the way you know of the

0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:55.560
<v Speaker 3>so tory, I know how to get you through your fear.

0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:59.679
<v Speaker 3>You have to come with me to the Amazon, okay,

0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:04.120
<v Speaker 3>and we will go and visit the tribe there, and

0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:07.720
<v Speaker 3>you will no longer have a fear of lying. I've

0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.720
<v Speaker 3>gotten better, and you've got so much better, and this

0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 3>is going to be, this is going to be, this

0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:13.800
<v Speaker 3>is going to be. Your next step is I'm going

0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:17.080
<v Speaker 3>to go into the jungle. And once you have gone

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.320
<v Speaker 3>and flown over the jungle in one of these you know, cue.

0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.119
<v Speaker 3>You know, they don't like parachute you out, No, they

0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.120
<v Speaker 3>they land and then they say goodbye, and then they

0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.160
<v Speaker 3>leave and you go and live in the jungle for

0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.000
<v Speaker 3>however long you live there.

0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:35.080
<v Speaker 2>And it's really spectacular. I mean that's did you film this?

0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:35.960
<v Speaker 2>You film everything?

0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:36.919
<v Speaker 4>Well? I filmed.

0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.399
<v Speaker 3>I filmed parts of it for sure, and then wanted

0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.520
<v Speaker 3>to be very respectful of the tribe that welcomed us

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:48.000
<v Speaker 3>in so so there was parts that I documented, in

0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.320
<v Speaker 3>parts that just remain in my heart.

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:53.080
<v Speaker 2>It was very life changing. Is this where you had

0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:54.960
<v Speaker 2>the shaman experience.

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 3>I've had a few experiences with shamans, and that was

0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.680
<v Speaker 3>that was an double experience with Yeah, is.

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:06.600
<v Speaker 2>That the one that told you, uh, that was a

0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:07.399
<v Speaker 2>different one.

0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:12.280
<v Speaker 3>We tell that story, sure, of course and around my

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.639
<v Speaker 3>heart our hearts. Yeah, And it's so wild because I

0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 3>was talking to Brian about this too, and it's so

0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:20.640
<v Speaker 3>that the shaman there in the jungle.

0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:23.120
<v Speaker 2>It was wild.

0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:30.439
<v Speaker 3>I remember hugging just just the whole experience opening my

0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.960
<v Speaker 3>heart so much, you know, And.

0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:34.600
<v Speaker 2>And so yeah, absolutely, we can tell it.

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:37.320
<v Speaker 3>You can, you can, you can share, I can share

0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:38.000
<v Speaker 3>however you want.

0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:40.359
<v Speaker 1>This is wild that we've known each other for so long,

0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:43.680
<v Speaker 1>you me and Brian. Obviously you and Brian stayed connected,

0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:46.760
<v Speaker 1>like I lost touch with friends and just in and

0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:49.520
<v Speaker 1>out of life. And I'm so happy and grateful to

0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 1>be reconnected with you, and I don't want to lose

0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.399
<v Speaker 1>you again. I feel like this is the time in

0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:56.520
<v Speaker 1>our journey we're supposed to reconnect and now together.

0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:58.960
<v Speaker 2>But absolutely everything happens for a reason.

0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.240
<v Speaker 1>But it's wild. I have five kids, Brian has five kids.

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 1>You have four kids.

0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:08.240
<v Speaker 3>It's like, yeah that there's a lot of kids between

0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:10.480
<v Speaker 3>fourteen kids between.

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:12.199
<v Speaker 2>Anti moth I'm glad you did it for us. Thank you.

0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.080
<v Speaker 3>At first I was sinking nineteen, but you know, fourteen

0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:16.560
<v Speaker 3>might as well be nineteen.

0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Fourteen kids.

0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:24.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So my feeling is, I wonder if you agree.

0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:27.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, okay, with this many kids, they better really

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:30.080
<v Speaker 3>make a huge difference an impact in the world. I'm like,

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:32.600
<v Speaker 3>they gotta, they gotta, and they are.

0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:34.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm just busy trying to keep them alive.

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Every every night they go to bed, account all of

0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.240
<v Speaker 1>them like there's that too, well more night.

0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:43.960
<v Speaker 2>It's just like just getting through it. You are and

0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:44.560
<v Speaker 2>so are.

0:20:44.480 --> 0:20:49.680
<v Speaker 1>Your parents, all of us. But I think our biggest connection,

0:20:50.040 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 1>at least from my perspective, is that we truly lead

0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:57.680
<v Speaker 1>with our hearts and with kindness. And that's my biggest

0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:01.199
<v Speaker 1>takeaway from my kids. Like people say, what do they

0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:03.280
<v Speaker 1>want to be? And I said, you know what, that's irrelevant.

0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I hope they make great changes in this world. I

0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 1>hope they do what their passions are and what their

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:12.200
<v Speaker 1>loves are and do well from and prosper. But leading

0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:14.879
<v Speaker 1>with kindness is just my biggest thing, and I'm glad

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:16.000
<v Speaker 1>that they all have that from me.

0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:25.040
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, your beautiful, open, exquisite heart that I love so much,

0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:28.560
<v Speaker 3>I loved so much. And what I was sharing with

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:33.439
<v Speaker 3>you and I was sharing with Brian, was that I

0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:39.520
<v Speaker 3>had met this incredible shaman and was feeling very vulnerable

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:42.439
<v Speaker 3>in my life, as I so often do. And I

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:47.200
<v Speaker 3>think when we move through life and loss and love

0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:51.960
<v Speaker 3>and allow the light to come in, you know that

0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:58.000
<v Speaker 3>it's so much of our processing, you know. And we've

0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:02.400
<v Speaker 3>also experienced a great deal of grief, you know, and

0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:06.000
<v Speaker 3>and we've spoken of, you know, chasing grief away. And

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:10.199
<v Speaker 3>I know for me, I tried to love it away

0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:14.359
<v Speaker 3>and work it away and just how it comes back,

0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:16.679
<v Speaker 3>you know, to find its way to you. And I

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:19.040
<v Speaker 3>think that's something that you and Brian and I have

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:23.199
<v Speaker 3>spoken about so openly, you know, And ever since I

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:26.400
<v Speaker 3>was young, I mean, I've had the most incredible relationships

0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:29.760
<v Speaker 3>and I've also lost some of like the closest people

0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:33.879
<v Speaker 3>in my life. And so I was speaking with this

0:22:34.000 --> 0:22:38.760
<v Speaker 3>shaman and he said to me, you go through life

0:22:39.560 --> 0:22:45.520
<v Speaker 3>with a broken heart, and that is your journey. That

0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:48.119
<v Speaker 3>is part of your journey, is going through life with

0:22:48.160 --> 0:22:52.840
<v Speaker 3>a broken heart. I had never heard anything like that before,

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:56.080
<v Speaker 3>and yet at the same time, it gave me so

0:22:56.200 --> 0:23:02.560
<v Speaker 3>much clarity because it it allows us to connect and

0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:09.800
<v Speaker 3>to be open with each other and to see that

0:23:09.800 --> 0:23:13.719
<v Speaker 3>that pain and that transformation of pain and delight is

0:23:13.720 --> 0:23:17.560
<v Speaker 3>our super power, you know. Yeah, And then it allows

0:23:17.920 --> 0:23:21.040
<v Speaker 3>other people to share with us and for us to

0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:26.920
<v Speaker 3>share with them with the genuine being parts of our being,

0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:30.560
<v Speaker 3>and to have compassion and empathy and all of these

0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:33.960
<v Speaker 3>elements that I think are so truly who you are

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:38.080
<v Speaker 3>and certainly so much of of I feel the best

0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:43.640
<v Speaker 3>versions of myself. And so that that was a really

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.919
<v Speaker 3>incredible moment where I just felt like all in my

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:52.639
<v Speaker 3>walls just you know, breaking down, you know.

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:55.800
<v Speaker 1>And it's also I think the definition what we're told

0:23:55.880 --> 0:24:00.280
<v Speaker 1>the definition of a broken heart isn't always exactly what

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:05.840
<v Speaker 1>we think it means. Because we've also talked about kind

0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:08.639
<v Speaker 1>of the openness of a broken heart, the thought if

0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:12.920
<v Speaker 1>you just visually see a broken heart, kind of broken

0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:16.320
<v Speaker 1>part that's inside of it, that's where the love and

0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:20.680
<v Speaker 1>light and the ass coming.

0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:21.720
<v Speaker 2>Through, well exactly.

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:25.399
<v Speaker 3>And that's one of my favorite Leonard Cohen quotes, one

0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:28.240
<v Speaker 3>of my favorite musicians ever, has to do with you

0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:31.880
<v Speaker 3>know how the broken parts are were the lights? You know?

0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:36.719
<v Speaker 3>And and so I think that it's you put it

0:24:36.760 --> 0:24:42.240
<v Speaker 3>so beautifully, which is to change the narrative within ourselves.

0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:46.320
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean that that the parts of

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.360
<v Speaker 3>us that have been broken, the loss that we've experienced,

0:24:50.000 --> 0:24:54.200
<v Speaker 3>the trials and tribulations, have been so much of our

0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:59.320
<v Speaker 3>expansion into the light, right, And I really believe that

0:24:59.400 --> 0:25:03.520
<v Speaker 3>we're instruments for something so much bigger than us. And

0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:07.119
<v Speaker 3>so every day, one of my dearest friends said, so

0:25:07.240 --> 0:25:09.960
<v Speaker 3>like every day I ask the universe, allow me to

0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:12.600
<v Speaker 3>be an instrument for me, for you, Let me be

0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:16.600
<v Speaker 3>an instrument for you, and so on a daily basis,

0:25:16.680 --> 0:25:19.239
<v Speaker 3>and I look to the universe and I asked, let

0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:21.520
<v Speaker 3>me be an instrument, you know, for you and and

0:25:21.800 --> 0:25:27.600
<v Speaker 3>my highest good, a vessel, a vessel for the good

0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.719
<v Speaker 3>and the world, and that that's so much of who

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:31.480
<v Speaker 3>you are as well.

0:25:33.119 --> 0:25:34.760
<v Speaker 2>Still deserved to fall in love.

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:41.119
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, absolutely, we deserve a lot of love. And

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:43.919
<v Speaker 3>that's the and that's that's that, that's that part of

0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:47.640
<v Speaker 3>so much of what we've spoken about around worthiness and

0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:51.560
<v Speaker 3>self worth and value and how we value ourselves. I

0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:56.119
<v Speaker 3>think something that's really incredible to me though, is also

0:25:56.280 --> 0:26:01.959
<v Speaker 3>the fact that love to me to day looked so

0:26:02.240 --> 0:26:06.720
<v Speaker 3>different than the traditional kind of love that I had

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:11.280
<v Speaker 3>thought of because I had a very unorthodox life, as

0:26:11.320 --> 0:26:15.679
<v Speaker 3>we did, right, and my dad was incredible and my

0:26:15.880 --> 0:26:17.359
<v Speaker 3>mom super mom.

0:26:17.600 --> 0:26:17.840
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:26:18.520 --> 0:26:21.120
<v Speaker 3>My dad, you know, was a total rabble rouser, wasn't

0:26:21.160 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 3>always around, but he gave me a lot of love.

0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:26.439
<v Speaker 3>And I think that when I got married, I was

0:26:26.840 --> 0:26:30.200
<v Speaker 3>I was searching for that tradition and thinking, okay, well,

0:26:30.320 --> 0:26:36.119
<v Speaker 3>traditional you know, family values. And as time went on

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:39.480
<v Speaker 3>and we evolved in different ways and had these incredible

0:26:39.560 --> 0:26:43.199
<v Speaker 3>children and came through that, I then, you know, have

0:26:43.320 --> 0:26:49.560
<v Speaker 3>had these very incredible, interesting experiences. And one of the

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:51.679
<v Speaker 3>first people I came together with was one of my

0:26:51.720 --> 0:26:56.040
<v Speaker 3>best friends from childhood, Seth, and it was a totally

0:26:56.080 --> 0:26:58.919
<v Speaker 3>different kind of love. It was like that teen love again,

0:26:59.080 --> 0:27:02.800
<v Speaker 3>you know. And Seth bins Or was like my childhood.

0:27:02.520 --> 0:27:03.480
<v Speaker 2>Wait, I don't know him.

0:27:03.560 --> 0:27:07.320
<v Speaker 3>Okay, did you ever hear the song Butterfly by Crazy Town?

0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:11.360
<v Speaker 3>I said you she did my butterfly Baby? You don't

0:27:11.359 --> 0:27:13.720
<v Speaker 3>know this on Butterflies, like one of the biggest anthems

0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:14.400
<v Speaker 3>of the nineties.

0:27:14.520 --> 0:27:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Don't we exceed me right now?

0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:18.520
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I'll play it for you. Okay, we'll play it here.

0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:20.480
<v Speaker 4>But essentially musician, yes.

0:27:20.359 --> 0:27:23.960
<v Speaker 3>A musician I had not really kept up with like his.

0:27:24.160 --> 0:27:26.240
<v Speaker 3>I hadn't really kept I hadn't really kept up with

0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:29.159
<v Speaker 3>his like whole bad boy you know, teen years. The

0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:30.480
<v Speaker 3>last time I had seen him, I had done a

0:27:30.560 --> 0:27:33.160
<v Speaker 3>music video with him when I was like twenty years

0:27:33.160 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 3>old or something, and so we hadn't seen that.

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:36.240
<v Speaker 4>We had grown up together.

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:39.640
<v Speaker 3>We were friends from twelve thirteen years old, and literally

0:27:40.480 --> 0:27:43.760
<v Speaker 3>we came together. He was sober when we came together,

0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:46.639
<v Speaker 3>and I was just like, oh my gosh. It was

0:27:46.640 --> 0:27:49.760
<v Speaker 3>like this teen beautiful love and it was a whole other.

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Kind of love.

0:27:51.560 --> 0:27:56.600
<v Speaker 3>And and we came together, and then he relapsed three

0:27:56.640 --> 0:27:59.600
<v Speaker 3>to four months into us coming together, and it was

0:27:59.680 --> 0:28:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Devin stating, and we had started making this documentary about

0:28:05.040 --> 0:28:08.680
<v Speaker 3>his life and to do this, and it was incredibly

0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:12.600
<v Speaker 3>beautiful in so many ways and so emotional in so

0:28:12.680 --> 0:28:17.119
<v Speaker 3>many ways. And he passed away this this last summer.

0:28:17.240 --> 0:28:24.520
<v Speaker 3>And and so my point being that I haven't really

0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:27.960
<v Speaker 3>talked about this yet, Like you know, you know, to

0:28:28.160 --> 0:28:30.640
<v Speaker 3>grieve so deeply means that we had to have loved

0:28:31.520 --> 0:28:36.320
<v Speaker 3>and that love and that lightning and a bottle love

0:28:36.400 --> 0:28:40.840
<v Speaker 3>that I felt for that time, you know, that was endless,

0:28:40.920 --> 0:28:44.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, and love him so much. And and and

0:28:44.680 --> 0:28:48.920
<v Speaker 3>I think, you know, the whole experience gave me such

0:28:48.960 --> 0:28:54.440
<v Speaker 3>a deeper understanding on love and loving without judgment, and

0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:57.600
<v Speaker 3>such an understanding around you know, mental health and addiction

0:28:57.880 --> 0:29:00.520
<v Speaker 3>and looking at addiction more as disease.

0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:01.960
<v Speaker 2>And then that led.

0:29:01.760 --> 0:29:05.720
<v Speaker 3>Me to this journey with the Carters and this incredible

0:29:06.480 --> 0:29:10.200
<v Speaker 3>journey that I've been on with this documentary. That I

0:29:10.280 --> 0:29:14.480
<v Speaker 3>was able to process so much of the grief through

0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 3>this story that hit home so you know, hard for me.

0:29:19.080 --> 0:29:28.240
<v Speaker 3>So my point is back to love that I think

0:29:28.320 --> 0:29:32.000
<v Speaker 3>love comes in so many different stages, right, And it's

0:29:32.080 --> 0:29:35.640
<v Speaker 3>like you could experience months or years with somebody and

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:39.880
<v Speaker 3>have some of the greatest love in your life in

0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:45.920
<v Speaker 3>that lightning model moment, you know, and deep love of friendship,

0:29:46.040 --> 0:29:49.160
<v Speaker 3>my love for you and us coming together where we

0:29:49.200 --> 0:29:52.479
<v Speaker 3>hadn't seen each other for years, and it's like you

0:29:52.560 --> 0:29:54.760
<v Speaker 3>just pick up right where you left off. Right the

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:57.440
<v Speaker 3>love that I have with friendships now, the love that

0:29:57.520 --> 0:30:02.000
<v Speaker 3>I have with my children, and like I think, falling

0:30:02.040 --> 0:30:05.720
<v Speaker 3>in love and love looks like so many different shapes

0:30:05.760 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 3>and sizes. It's the mirror of who we are and

0:30:09.400 --> 0:30:12.280
<v Speaker 3>when we're our most genuine self, and that.

0:30:12.240 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 2>Reflects back to us.

0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:17.080
<v Speaker 3>So I suppose as much as I love the idea

0:30:17.360 --> 0:30:22.400
<v Speaker 3>of falling in love and sharing my life with that

0:30:22.600 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 3>person in romance, right, I also want to be so

0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:31.719
<v Speaker 3>aware that love exists all around me and that I

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:36.000
<v Speaker 3>am in love with each and every person that reflects

0:30:36.040 --> 0:30:39.280
<v Speaker 3>back the best version of myself and that doesn't have

0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:41.680
<v Speaker 3>to be defined to one.

0:30:41.480 --> 0:30:43.160
<v Speaker 2>Person that reflects back.

0:30:43.120 --> 0:30:48.800
<v Speaker 1>That was beautiful, Hey, carry that forever that it's be

0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:54.400
<v Speaker 1>able to realize that that is. And I mean, I'm

0:30:54.440 --> 0:30:56.360
<v Speaker 1>guessing I know the answer to this. You don't believe

0:30:56.360 --> 0:30:57.040
<v Speaker 1>in regrets.

0:30:58.480 --> 0:31:04.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, SELFE is far, so far is so precious. I

0:31:04.640 --> 0:31:08.080
<v Speaker 3>had a lot of be honest, I feel like I

0:31:08.120 --> 0:31:13.960
<v Speaker 3>had to work through a great deal of even when

0:31:14.520 --> 0:31:16.920
<v Speaker 3>when you know that it's not your faulty, you're not

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:18.920
<v Speaker 3>able to save somebody and that they have to save

0:31:18.960 --> 0:31:23.920
<v Speaker 3>themselves regardless of that. Oh my god, we're getting so deeper.

0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:24.120
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:31:24.240 --> 0:31:27.880
<v Speaker 3>So I had this thing where like sit and this

0:31:28.520 --> 0:31:32.040
<v Speaker 3>is like really stuck with me where seth He would

0:31:32.040 --> 0:31:35.320
<v Speaker 3>say he just wanted a nightstand, you know, in the house,

0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:37.840
<v Speaker 3>And I think that to him was symbolic of like

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 3>him just feeling like he had a place to call home.

0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:44.360
<v Speaker 3>And he was somebody that listened so well. So Mother's

0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:47.280
<v Speaker 3>Day it's like I would say, oh, you know things

0:31:47.280 --> 0:31:49.080
<v Speaker 3>in passing, I love making right, I want to be

0:31:49.120 --> 0:31:50.720
<v Speaker 3>able to make rice. And he would show up with

0:31:50.720 --> 0:31:53.600
<v Speaker 3>a rice cooker and I never had a mirror that

0:31:53.600 --> 0:31:54.800
<v Speaker 3>I could look close enough, and.

0:31:54.680 --> 0:31:58.240
<v Speaker 4>He show up with a mirror. Like he listened so well,

0:31:58.840 --> 0:32:00.280
<v Speaker 4>he checked in so much lunch.

0:32:00.960 --> 0:32:07.960
<v Speaker 3>And I remember that on a Christmas morning he said

0:32:07.960 --> 0:32:12.720
<v Speaker 3>I just want a nightstand. And he had said it

0:32:12.760 --> 0:32:14.720
<v Speaker 3>so many times and I never heard it, you know,

0:32:15.360 --> 0:32:17.840
<v Speaker 3>so for months after his passing, I was like, oh,

0:32:18.280 --> 0:32:21.520
<v Speaker 3>the next time that, I'm like, I.

0:32:21.480 --> 0:32:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Won't forget to get that night stand, you know.

0:32:25.760 --> 0:32:30.240
<v Speaker 3>So it was such a learning process and it was

0:32:30.280 --> 0:32:33.120
<v Speaker 3>such a journey and I wouldn't take back one second

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.480
<v Speaker 3>of it. And I think it's also what gave me

0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:39.120
<v Speaker 3>the strength to then do the Carters, because I don't

0:32:39.560 --> 0:32:42.600
<v Speaker 3>know that I would have been able to understand this

0:32:42.720 --> 0:32:46.680
<v Speaker 3>family's journey, you know, or be there for Angel the

0:32:46.720 --> 0:32:49.480
<v Speaker 3>way that I wanted to, in the way that I

0:32:49.520 --> 0:32:51.080
<v Speaker 3>had to show up in the way that I think

0:32:51.160 --> 0:32:56.320
<v Speaker 3>is a documentarian. It is my my responsibility to show

0:32:56.440 --> 0:33:01.640
<v Speaker 3>up to provide a safe space for someone. Had I

0:33:01.880 --> 0:33:08.880
<v Speaker 3>not learned so much through that experience, so you know,

0:33:08.960 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 3>I had to like move through and let go of

0:33:11.680 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 3>the guilt and the shame and you know all of

0:33:13.720 --> 0:33:17.480
<v Speaker 3>those things that come with, you know, having a kind

0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:19.560
<v Speaker 3>of you know, wanting to save people, because I think

0:33:19.600 --> 0:33:23.000
<v Speaker 3>that's just innately in my inner being, wanting to do

0:33:23.080 --> 0:33:26.040
<v Speaker 3>what I can to you know, save everyone around me,

0:33:26.120 --> 0:33:29.400
<v Speaker 3>but realizing like I have to you know, first and

0:33:29.440 --> 0:33:33.040
<v Speaker 3>foremost always be there to save myself.

0:33:32.520 --> 0:33:33.160
<v Speaker 4>You know what I mean.

0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:37.120
<v Speaker 3>And that's something that is you know, a constant learning experience,

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:37.480
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:33:39.200 --> 0:33:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I have. So I watched the cart and it was

0:33:47.360 --> 0:33:53.840
<v Speaker 1>so brilliant. I came away from it just having such

0:33:53.880 --> 0:33:59.560
<v Speaker 1>a better understanding. And I never I'm not a judging person,

0:33:59.760 --> 0:34:01.440
<v Speaker 1>but you know, we only know what we know and

0:34:01.520 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 1>what we're told. And being able to change a narrative

0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Aaron Carter and just and.

0:34:09.640 --> 0:34:11.120
<v Speaker 2>His legacy, it was.

0:34:12.760 --> 0:34:19.279
<v Speaker 1>Hauntingly beautiful and heartbreaking, and that's the only thing.

0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:19.919
<v Speaker 2>I think.

0:34:22.440 --> 0:34:28.319
<v Speaker 1>I have so much admiration for you, and you're such

0:34:28.320 --> 0:34:34.360
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful storyteller and it made me really happy that

0:34:34.520 --> 0:34:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Angel is able to tell the story you want it.

0:34:41.640 --> 0:34:45.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm so you were that vessel. Thank you so much,

0:34:46.040 --> 0:34:47.799
<v Speaker 1>and it's out now. I'm paramount plus and I want

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:50.799
<v Speaker 1>everyone to watch it just because I want them to

0:34:50.880 --> 0:34:55.640
<v Speaker 1>know what a beautiful love story this is really and

0:34:55.800 --> 0:34:57.640
<v Speaker 1>everyone can relate to it on some level.

0:34:58.520 --> 0:35:01.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm so so thankful that you watched it. You know,

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:09.399
<v Speaker 3>Angel has such a courageous, beautiful, brave heart. And as

0:35:09.440 --> 0:35:17.400
<v Speaker 3>we're talking about loss, I mean she had lost her sister, Leslie,

0:35:18.000 --> 0:35:22.840
<v Speaker 3>she had lost her twin brother Aaron, and her father

0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:27.200
<v Speaker 3>when we started this journey, and then she lost her

0:35:27.239 --> 0:35:33.319
<v Speaker 3>sister be Jay and talk about coming through loss and

0:35:33.400 --> 0:35:36.160
<v Speaker 3>turning that loss and pain into light.

0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:39.319
<v Speaker 4>She is such an example of that.

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:46.520
<v Speaker 3>And to be able to share her truth and to

0:35:46.560 --> 0:35:51.799
<v Speaker 3>see this family's transformation of how much they want to

0:35:51.880 --> 0:35:59.040
<v Speaker 3>help make the world a better place because of their strength,

0:36:00.160 --> 0:36:04.080
<v Speaker 3>and how we talk about in our generational trauma, and

0:36:04.120 --> 0:36:07.719
<v Speaker 3>at the core, how much I wanted to really help

0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:10.920
<v Speaker 3>share a story that had to do with mental health

0:36:10.960 --> 0:36:17.520
<v Speaker 3>and addiction that touches so many of us, including myself

0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:24.040
<v Speaker 3>in an honest way. I just I'm so thankful that

0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:27.239
<v Speaker 3>they trusted in me, and that the team, the incredible

0:36:27.239 --> 0:36:30.160
<v Speaker 3>team from Paramount, plus an incredible team from Candle Media,

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:33.759
<v Speaker 3>and just the entire team involved with it, that they

0:36:34.760 --> 0:36:39.200
<v Speaker 3>allowed me to create a safe space for Angel to

0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:42.839
<v Speaker 3>share her story. And just I'm so thankful, and I

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:46.319
<v Speaker 3>really hope that it touches lives and that people have

0:36:46.360 --> 0:36:51.640
<v Speaker 3>a better understanding because so many people think that.

0:36:50.360 --> 0:36:51.320
<v Speaker 2>That it's a choice.

0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:54.920
<v Speaker 3>You know, that the addiction is a choice that people

0:36:54.960 --> 0:36:59.319
<v Speaker 3>make every day, and you know, and I remember, you know,

0:36:59.520 --> 0:37:02.359
<v Speaker 3>I remember Set at one point saying to me, I've

0:37:02.440 --> 0:37:07.960
<v Speaker 3>tried everything. I dare any doctor, like literally, he's so

0:37:09.120 --> 0:37:13.760
<v Speaker 3>wanted to live and Aaron is such a beautiful example

0:37:13.800 --> 0:37:19.760
<v Speaker 3>of that, this beautiful, vibrant, lively, wonderful, just beautiful spirit

0:37:19.880 --> 0:37:23.880
<v Speaker 3>that you see in all of those early years, you know,

0:37:24.640 --> 0:37:28.200
<v Speaker 3>and what is that that point in which you know

0:37:28.360 --> 0:37:33.960
<v Speaker 3>someone breaks or isn't able to continue on that journey.

0:37:34.000 --> 0:37:36.840
<v Speaker 3>And so I really hope that this documentary helps people

0:37:36.840 --> 0:37:42.040
<v Speaker 3>that are struggling and also to have a better understanding,

0:37:42.360 --> 0:37:46.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, and creates conversations, meaningful conversations that we have

0:37:46.440 --> 0:37:49.560
<v Speaker 3>to be having around mental health and addiction for sure.

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:54.040
<v Speaker 1>And it just stuck with me, Like you and you're

0:37:54.040 --> 0:37:56.440
<v Speaker 1>talking about now and you will listen.

0:37:56.160 --> 0:37:57.600
<v Speaker 2>But you do listen well.

0:37:57.640 --> 0:37:59.439
<v Speaker 3>And that's the thing is with Kid ninety, I said

0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:01.000
<v Speaker 3>that I was like, I didn't listen, and then it

0:38:01.040 --> 0:38:05.400
<v Speaker 3>was so wild because again I tried to listen, you

0:38:05.440 --> 0:38:05.919
<v Speaker 3>know what I mean.

0:38:05.960 --> 0:38:06.279
<v Speaker 2>And so.

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:10.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to continue to do my best to listen,

0:38:11.840 --> 0:38:12.719
<v Speaker 3>but tell me, but.

0:38:12.760 --> 0:38:13.319
<v Speaker 2>No, you listen.

0:38:13.360 --> 0:38:15.960
<v Speaker 1>And like I feel, you know, I can't speak for

0:38:16.040 --> 0:38:19.360
<v Speaker 1>our friendship when we were teenagers, but our friendship now,

0:38:19.640 --> 0:38:23.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, going forward, I feel like you listened so

0:38:23.040 --> 0:38:26.719
<v Speaker 1>so well and you create that safe space even for

0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:30.319
<v Speaker 1>your humans, you know, not on camera like that they

0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:34.160
<v Speaker 1>feel comfortable just sharing and not feeling judged. It's such

0:38:34.200 --> 0:38:38.720
<v Speaker 1>a safe place. But you know, I know you interview

0:38:38.760 --> 0:38:41.560
<v Speaker 1>everyone and you do all of it. And then so

0:38:41.920 --> 0:38:44.319
<v Speaker 1>the one time that we really heard your voice in

0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:47.560
<v Speaker 1>it is you said to Angel when she said, you know,

0:38:48.040 --> 0:38:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Nix said he wants therapy, and.

0:38:50.960 --> 0:38:52.520
<v Speaker 2>You said, is that why the two of you are

0:38:52.560 --> 0:38:52.960
<v Speaker 2>still here?

0:38:53.080 --> 0:38:56.400
<v Speaker 1>And she said yes, sorry if I'm not verbatim seeing it,

0:38:57.800 --> 0:39:00.400
<v Speaker 1>and that just like you're breaking the wall, and like

0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:04.319
<v Speaker 1>saying that, just like that was like gut punched me

0:39:04.400 --> 0:39:07.920
<v Speaker 1>because I was like, I think it's so important. It's

0:39:07.920 --> 0:39:10.640
<v Speaker 1>such an important conversation and none of us can do

0:39:10.680 --> 0:39:13.960
<v Speaker 1>it alone, and not just mental health, not just addiction,

0:39:14.160 --> 0:39:17.760
<v Speaker 1>and specifically the mental health. I feel like it's something

0:39:18.640 --> 0:39:20.839
<v Speaker 1>like we didn't talk about it when I was growing up.

0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:21.759
<v Speaker 2>No one talked about it.

0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:24.719
<v Speaker 1>That was a stigmatism, like someone was like, oh, they

0:39:24.719 --> 0:39:27.160
<v Speaker 1>go to a therapist, what's wrong, or like you know,

0:39:27.760 --> 0:39:30.440
<v Speaker 1>and it's such a conversation that I feel like perhaps

0:39:30.560 --> 0:39:32.239
<v Speaker 1>our kids talk too freely.

0:39:31.960 --> 0:39:33.560
<v Speaker 2>About and kind of throw it away.

0:39:33.640 --> 0:39:36.080
<v Speaker 1>So there has to be that happy medium that we

0:39:36.200 --> 0:39:37.360
<v Speaker 1>all find.

0:39:37.640 --> 0:39:39.400
<v Speaker 2>But thank you for doing the story.

0:39:39.560 --> 0:39:43.319
<v Speaker 1>And I think it's really beautiful, and I think you

0:39:43.320 --> 0:39:43.839
<v Speaker 1>should get.

0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:44.840
<v Speaker 2>A nice.

0:39:46.440 --> 0:39:49.600
<v Speaker 1>You were realizing me we thought about getting it. Yeah,

0:39:50.480 --> 0:39:53.120
<v Speaker 1>we could refer a bish one Die Wyatt.

0:39:55.480 --> 0:39:59.160
<v Speaker 4>You know, break if you want night the night stand

0:39:59.200 --> 0:40:00.479
<v Speaker 4>in my heart I do.

0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:04.160
<v Speaker 2>I definitely break in and let the light is for

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:05.320
<v Speaker 2>broken heart feeling.

0:40:07.560 --> 0:40:11.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, okay, wait, I'll tell you one more great

0:40:11.520 --> 0:40:15.080
<v Speaker 3>story and we can close on this, which I went

0:40:15.120 --> 0:40:19.520
<v Speaker 3>on a date some some time ago, because you know,

0:40:19.840 --> 0:40:23.000
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I like this, I like this, I like

0:40:23.080 --> 0:40:23.480
<v Speaker 3>this story.

0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:25.080
<v Speaker 4>So I went on a date.

0:40:25.680 --> 0:40:31.480
<v Speaker 3>And and this gentleman takes me to this beautiful dinner.

0:40:31.560 --> 0:40:32.080
<v Speaker 4>I love going.

0:40:32.120 --> 0:40:34.799
<v Speaker 3>I'm manifesting a gentleman. I'm going to put this out

0:40:34.840 --> 0:40:38.319
<v Speaker 3>of the universe. A gentleman takes me to fantastic dinner

0:40:38.320 --> 0:40:40.000
<v Speaker 3>because we're manifesting here.

0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:41.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, okay.

0:40:41.320 --> 0:40:47.240
<v Speaker 3>And and afterwards he is telling me what he loves

0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:51.160
<v Speaker 3>to collect, and he says, oh, I love to collect watches.

0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:58.200
<v Speaker 3>He runs through the collection of things that he collects,

0:40:58.920 --> 0:41:02.840
<v Speaker 3>and he turned to me and said, what do you collect?

0:41:04.560 --> 0:41:07.719
<v Speaker 4>And I said, I collect memories.

0:41:09.760 --> 0:41:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. That's you.

0:41:12.800 --> 0:41:16.279
<v Speaker 4>That's who I am. That's you are your memory collectors.

0:41:17.360 --> 0:41:21.200
<v Speaker 4>So the nightstand is right here in my memory.

0:41:21.239 --> 0:41:24.640
<v Speaker 1>And that's all you need. I understand. That's beautiful. Wait

0:41:24.800 --> 0:41:25.760
<v Speaker 1>what else did he collect?

0:41:26.840 --> 0:41:31.600
<v Speaker 4>Who knows? Apparently a lot of things. I love you.

0:41:32.040 --> 0:41:33.200
<v Speaker 4>I laughed, I cried.

0:41:33.200 --> 0:41:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I love you. I love you so much. No more.

0:41:38.680 --> 0:41:40.320
<v Speaker 2>I really want you to take me in the Amazon.

0:41:40.680 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 3>Okay, we're going to the Amazon. We're collecting memories.

0:41:44.120 --> 0:41:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes, for the rest of our lives. I love you

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:49.560
<v Speaker 2>so much. I'm so grateful for you.