Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: How long have we known each other? We were just
Speaker 2: trying to figure this out the other day.
Speaker 3: We're like since we were little, since we were teenagers.
Speaker 3: And then we were talking about your eighteenth birthday, Oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, and how gorgeous you are. I still remember
Speaker 3: I was wearing the coveralls, some coverall, but they were
Speaker 3: like cool, I don't know, they were like con tempo
Speaker 3: casual coveralls or something. You were in this beautiful white dress, a.
Speaker 1: Liah like bandage dress. I was like trying to be like,
Speaker 1: look at me.
Speaker 2: I made it.
Speaker 3: And you had the absolute hottest guys in the world
Speaker 3: at your birthday, and I just remember.
Speaker 2: Yes, are you kidding me?
Speaker 3: You had Luke, Brian, Yeah, Jason, Yeah, I mean Ian,
Speaker 3: I mean it was I in there. Wait anyway, it
Speaker 3: was just the hottest guys. I'm and I and all
Speaker 3: of young Hollywood, all.
Speaker 1: Of young Hollywood, and then all of my like real
Speaker 1: friends from high school. Yes, So it was like this
Speaker 1: odd balance. And then I just remember like that night,
Speaker 1: like Luke and Jason were just like I was like
Speaker 1: a Tory sandwich for like my eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 4: No, it was like wild.
Speaker 3: I mean, what an amazing sandwich to be between I mean,
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: And for me not to have eyes for Brian is weird.
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't even tell you what Brian said that night,
Speaker 1: what he was wearing that night.
Speaker 4: I remember what he was wearing pictures for your birthday.
Speaker 3: Okay, I think, okay, okay, so so follow me and
Speaker 3: tell me if you remember this I remember Brian wearing
Speaker 3: because obviously okay, so truth be told. We both have
Speaker 3: so much love for Brian, obviously you, I mean, your
Speaker 3: love story is the most exquisite, most beautiful, just I'm
Speaker 3: mine bent by it. And I also had a great
Speaker 3: deal of love for Brian, and we both still have
Speaker 3: a great deal of love for Brian and Sharna, of course,
Speaker 3: just to reminisce, because it's so fun being nostalgic.
Speaker 4: Do you remember I remember.
Speaker 3: Brian was wearing a copper Do you remember a copper suit?
Speaker 3: Like a copper orangish coming back to you? Weeziest memory ever?
Speaker 1: And I can't don't tell him this, tell us I
Speaker 1: don't even remember him there, Like it was the one
Speaker 1: night in history of life that I wasn't focused on Brian.
Speaker 3: Austin Grass Okay, well, I may have pictures otherwise, because
Speaker 3: I vaguely remember him doing like the Roger rabbit or
Speaker 3: something like I have Maye. It's also because I have
Speaker 3: pictures too of it that like, you know, is it
Speaker 3: like how much do we remember through photographs?
Speaker 1: And like my memory is like I see it in
Speaker 1: my head, but you're like that as well, So like
Speaker 1: it's wild At that one night, I don't remember, but
Speaker 1: Luke and Jason were like it was so kind too.
Speaker 2: It was like here's our cast met and our.
Speaker 1: Friends and the producer's daughter and like it's her eighteenth
Speaker 1: birthday and we are like the heart throbs of America
Speaker 1: of the world right now, and like we're just going
Speaker 1: to devote all our attention to her. Like what it's
Speaker 1: how generous?
Speaker 4: So sweet?
Speaker 3: I think she's in Brisley was wearing a tie if
Speaker 3: I remember correctly, Yeah, tie, Like something that I love
Speaker 3: that we've spoken about is as wild and outrageous as
Speaker 3: our lives were, and as colorful and as crazy as
Speaker 3: everything was, we still very much had that innocence and
Speaker 3: excitement of oh my goodness, like, look at these heart throbs.
Speaker 3: I suppose like what other people feel when they go
Speaker 3: to like a football game or you know, some kind
Speaker 3: of exquisitive at high school.
Speaker 4: It was just like it was a totally.
Speaker 3: Unorthodox childhood, but in a lot of.
Speaker 4: Ways it was.
Speaker 3: I mean I was always boy crazy, always have been
Speaker 3: the same. It was ingrained in me from the time
Speaker 3: I was born.
Speaker 1: And yeah, so anyway, and I know I told you this,
Speaker 1: but yeah, like that eighteenth birthday party, I will never
Speaker 1: forget because that's when Luke Perry kissed me.
Speaker 2: In the limo. I filed the story before, but can't
Speaker 2: get over that kiss me in.
Speaker 1: The limo with all my like not my high school
Speaker 1: girlfriends from the show, but my high school girlfriends from
Speaker 1: real life. Like they were all there and like it
Speaker 1: was just magical.
Speaker 3: Okay, Tori, I want to know everything about the kiss
Speaker 3: because I Luke Perry's.
Speaker 2: So much and he would have kissed you.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I have a great Perry story that I don't even
Speaker 3: know that I haven't shared much. But first I want
Speaker 3: to hear about the kiss and then I'll tell you
Speaker 3: my Luke Perry story.
Speaker 1: So he was like we were going into this big, long,
Speaker 1: like white stretched limo, like prom limo, going back to
Speaker 1: my parents. The manor and like we were just all
Speaker 1: going to hang out and everybody was coming back, and
Speaker 1: he like, we're like come with us, and he's like okay,
Speaker 1: and he like dove into the limo with me and
Speaker 1: the girls. And I don't even remember how it happened.
Speaker 1: He was like sitting on the floors, we were all
Speaker 1: piled in and I don't know, we just kissed. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like this crazy long kiss. It was just like
Speaker 1: a moment. But to me, it was like everything was
Speaker 1: it like was it a kiss on the lips or
Speaker 1: was it? Was there actual tongue in the kiss?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: I don't remembers. It was an open mouthed place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you did you?
Speaker 4: Are we allowed to say this on the rio deal?
Speaker 2: This touch of his tongue? Well, I was eighteen, so
Speaker 2: I guess I was legal. It was fine? Right?
Speaker 4: Was there tongue involvatory? That's all I have to know?
Speaker 3: Did you touch Luke Berry's tongue? That sounds so r
Speaker 3: I'm sure yeah.
Speaker 1: And I also remember he gave me gun earrings for
Speaker 1: my eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 3: I mean, he gave you gun earrings and his tongue.
Speaker 3: I mean that says it all.
Speaker 2: I can't like girl.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, this whole entire internmy is gonna have
Speaker 3: to be censored and or not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he gave me gun earrings, but that was because
Speaker 1: like he was like a cowboy.
Speaker 2: And like he was and there was anything.
Speaker 4: Like no, no, I know.
Speaker 3: I mean it's like, so he was such a good
Speaker 3: human being and so sweet and then played this series.
Speaker 4: Did you pierce them immediately?
Speaker 2: Probably should have, but.
Speaker 1: Then you know, that was a Saturday night and Monday
Speaker 1: went back to set and like you know, there was Brian,
Speaker 1: so I forgot all about Luke.
Speaker 2: I'm the prize, I'm the prize.
Speaker 4: Okay, so my Luke story.
Speaker 2: He uh.
Speaker 3: He was just the kindest, most most beautiful spirit, as
Speaker 3: you know, and he was always so kind to me.
Speaker 3: And I remember on one of my birthdays, I went
Speaker 3: and visited you guys on the set, and he gave
Speaker 3: me this huge hug in love. And of course, where
Speaker 3: would I want to spend my birthday, you know, other
Speaker 3: than with all all of you, And I know I'm blushing.
Speaker 3: And I had such a crush on him, and he
Speaker 3: was so kind and sweet and he was such a
Speaker 3: beautiful listener. I remember him being such a beautiful listener
Speaker 3: and so warm and always made you feel so.
Speaker 4: Loved.
Speaker 3: And so we had this, we had this moment where
Speaker 3: so we worked with the same person. I guess we
Speaker 3: must have had the same manager or agent or something.
Speaker 3: And the person, I mean, this is absolutely insane. The
Speaker 3: person was learning how to fly and decided that they
Speaker 3: would take us in learning to fly. Luke Whuke and
Speaker 3: I right, because we had this person that like worked
Speaker 3: with us both okay, and this is a crazy story.
Speaker 3: This is a crazy story. And he said, why don't
Speaker 3: we all go to Catalina for lunch. Now we're not
Speaker 3: talking about this isn't like some private plane, big plane whatever.
Speaker 3: It's like you know those teeny tiny little planes that
Speaker 3: people learn how to, you know, the teeny tiny plane,
Speaker 3: the teeny tiny plane that somebody learns how to.
Speaker 2: It has like a propeller.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like it has like a.
Speaker 2: Propeller, right, is that right?
Speaker 3: This was so terrified, so so okay, so literally it's yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like, you know, a little thing in the front
Speaker 3: and it's like a three seater.
Speaker 4: Oh I know, I know.
Speaker 3: Okay, Remember again, this is not a private plane. This
Speaker 3: is not a fancy plane. This is the kind of
Speaker 3: plane somebody learns how to fly and he's like, let me.
Speaker 4: Take you guys out to lunch.
Speaker 3: Right, So Luke and I go on this plane to
Speaker 3: Catalina and we go and you know, it's a little
Speaker 3: you know, and I too am really like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3: And so we get to lunch and we actually get
Speaker 3: there and we land and we're like, okay, hey, we're good,
Speaker 3: We're good, you know, Okay, we got here. When we
Speaker 3: go to leave, like the clouds have come in and
Speaker 3: it's like stormy, and literally they're like are we able
Speaker 3: to fly? Now? Remember this guy is like just learned
Speaker 3: how to fly, and like we're going on his big
Speaker 3: outing out and literally I remember as the plane, this
Speaker 3: is so insane. As the plane goes off, there's like
Speaker 3: this mountaintop in Catalina that it goes off and all
Speaker 3: of a sudden, it just drops and it drops, and
Speaker 3: I literally like at this point, I don't even know
Speaker 3: that we have seat belts on, because we are convinced
Speaker 3: that like this is it. They jump into well what
Speaker 3: I did. I jumped into Looperry's arms. I threw myself
Speaker 3: in his arms and we ended up somehow. I think
Speaker 3: we ended up on the floor of the This is
Speaker 3: of the plane, if I remember correctly, And because we're convinced,
Speaker 3: and the plane's going like this, because the plane's going
Speaker 3: like going up and down and up and down, and
Speaker 3: so what happens I cannot I've never shared this story
Speaker 3: in the entire Yeah, And the plane is going like this, right,
Speaker 3: like up and down, up and down, and he and
Speaker 3: I are like up and down, sharing our life stories
Speaker 3: because we are convinced that this is it. And he's
Speaker 3: holding me in his arms and I'm holding him in
Speaker 3: my arms, and we just our entire lives flashed in
Speaker 3: front of us. And I was able to like share
Speaker 3: my life in all of the you know, thirty minute
Speaker 3: plane ride, and it was just actually one of the
Speaker 3: most beautiful experiences in my life, and that bonded us forever.
Speaker 4: And I don't think I've ever told that story ever.
Speaker 1: I'm like blown away, which is for a callback. I
Speaker 1: wasn't their tongue.
Speaker 4: The plane was going like this, and I probably was.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I was like sixteen years
Speaker 3: old at the time or anything. It was just more
Speaker 3: like he I thought we were convinced that the plane
Speaker 3: and so he was just like, but that protect.
Speaker 2: Well, well that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 3: I was like, well, if you're gonna you know anyone.
Speaker 4: And that was the other thing was I was like,
Speaker 4: as much.
Speaker 3: As I was terrified, I was like, but I am
Speaker 3: in Luke Perry's arm, So it was like of like
Speaker 3: being really afraid. And also that Luke Perry was like
Speaker 3: my superhero like in the moment.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: It was Yeah, it was crazy, but we landed safely,
Speaker 3: and I always remember that, was that a crazy story?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I got I got, like.
Speaker 2: Wow, like imagine that headline though, No.
Speaker 3: God, no, no, no, no, it was so magical. It's
Speaker 3: like one of it's like, it's one of my favorite memories.
Speaker 1: My God, Harry and Punky Power like Peril and plane
Speaker 1: Punky Perry Power, Punky Pary Power Perry Punky didn't work
Speaker 1: this time as a Peril. No.
Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry, it's sorry. Sorry.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 4: I should have just kissed him. I should have just
Speaker 4: kissed I should have kissed him. I should have just
Speaker 4: grabbed him.
Speaker 1: And oh he was probably I can I just imagine
Speaker 1: he was probably sweet and telling you it was going
Speaker 1: to be okay, and He's like, tell me about your life,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Didn't think it was going to be okay.
Speaker 3: And because we really like we were really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was the guy saying that was flying this plane?
Speaker 4: I think he was just trying to like keep the
Speaker 4: plane up.
Speaker 3: And it's a crazy story, do you guys, Land, Punky
Speaker 3: and Perry there you go. I mean a story. See,
Speaker 3: it's a first, it's a first. I gotta share a story.
Speaker 3: First story Clouds Brittain in the Clouds written and I
Speaker 3: will never forget that.
Speaker 4: It was so it was really beautiful.
Speaker 2: Did you ever get a small plane again after that?
Speaker 4: You know, on a few occasions.
Speaker 2: I don't think I have ever, but I was I had.
Speaker 3: I mean, these are all going to sound like crazy stories.
Speaker 3: I remember flying into Idaho at one point to me
Speaker 3: who I love so much, and she was, you know,
Speaker 3: helped essentially bring my children into this world, and she's
Speaker 3: so amazing. And at one time we were again I
Speaker 3: found myself in a plane and Bruce, the incredible Bruce
Speaker 3: Willis was there and and you know, the plane was
Speaker 3: This is all going to sound like crazy Hollywood stories,
Speaker 3: but again, like it was like somehow we ended up
Speaker 3: going on a family trip or something, and and there
Speaker 3: was turbulence, and I just remember thinking, well, Bruce Willis
Speaker 3: is here on the plane, so we're good. Like I
Speaker 3: felt somehow inevitably like safer because Bruce was on the plane,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you're die hard dude, like I'm good.
Speaker 3: That was different that I was like, cool, he like
Speaker 3: kept it all together. I felt safe. And then yeah,
Speaker 3: there weren't many of those experiences after that. I think
Speaker 3: after that, I was like, I'll be taking Southwest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, jet Blue has my name, So I all over.
Speaker 1: A story like that, like because you felt like and
Speaker 1: this is not going to sound normal to anyone, or
Speaker 1: maybe it will, Like Bruce Willis is on this plane,
Speaker 1: it's going to be okay.
Speaker 4: A thousand percent, So like a thousand percent, I was like,
Speaker 4: he can.
Speaker 3: It's like having taught like if Tom Cruise was like,
Speaker 3: you know, like fly you know you're like, oh, Tom
Speaker 3: Cruise here, it's all gonna be okay, which, by the way,
Speaker 3: way I mean with Tom Cruise, I feel like everything
Speaker 3: is is okay when it's in a step world, Like
Speaker 3: I'm just like like I I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he would have like jumped down and like Superman,
Speaker 1: the plane oh, a thousand percent.
Speaker 3: He would have carried the plane like com Cruise were
Speaker 3: just like carries the plane.
Speaker 4: He's got you and he's like.
Speaker 2: No one, I'm talking cruise. Okay. So I used to
Speaker 2: panic on planes, like be so.
Speaker 4: I believe I even talking about planes. I just don't worry. Okay, okay, okay, tom.
Speaker 1: Me so panic on planes. And I'd always count how
Speaker 1: many babies were on the plane, because I always thought, well,
Speaker 1: if there's babies, like, God's not gonna take us right now,
Speaker 1: we know this is not true.
Speaker 2: This is irrational, by.
Speaker 4: The way, everyone has done this. Everyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I'm on a plane once and Michael Bolton
Speaker 1: was on the plane and this is like in his heyday,
Speaker 1: not his hair day, his hey day at some point
Speaker 1: and he was on and for some reason before they
Speaker 1: like closed the doors.
Speaker 2: I don't know why, he got up and got off
Speaker 2: the plane.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, now I'm fucked, like in
Speaker 1: my weird like a rational fear, I was like, Michael
Speaker 1: Bolton's here, Nothing's gonna happen. And as he gets up,
Speaker 1: I literally turned to my friend I said, we're getting
Speaker 1: off the plane, and she goes, this is crazy. This
Speaker 1: is fear has gone too far. I said, I know
Speaker 1: it's irrational. I can't help myself. Right now, before they
Speaker 1: close those doors, Michael Bolton got off.
Speaker 2: We had to get off. We go off the plane.
Speaker 4: You got off got a flane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because Michael Bolton did correct And did you tell
Speaker 3: Michael Bolton this ever?
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. Do you know why he
Speaker 2: got off the plane? No, no, idea.
Speaker 4: He probably was on the wrong plane.
Speaker 3: He probably had too many like cocktails and like ended
Speaker 3: up on the wrong But in.
Speaker 1: My mind, it's like, if he's on the plane, the
Speaker 1: plane won't ever go down, so I have to get
Speaker 1: off this flight.
Speaker 2: Of course I checked the flight later. The flight was fine,
Speaker 2: nothing happened.
Speaker 4: God, that is hysterical.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's so it's wild.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, well, you and I will have some
Speaker 3: fun traveling together. Then I went into the Amazon not
Speaker 3: too long ago, and that was wild. And that's like
Speaker 3: one of those planes where they like it down the windows,
Speaker 3: you know kind of thing. Well, yeah, yeah, like I
Speaker 3: went into the Amazon. I went and stayed with a
Speaker 3: tribe in Ecuador, which was unbelievable. It was really mind blowing.
Speaker 3: And and to get in you take this, you know,
Speaker 3: this tiny plane and then they drop you off in
Speaker 3: the middle of the Amazon and they come back a
Speaker 3: week later to pick you up. It's really it was
Speaker 3: a really profound experience. And myself, well, so here. So
Speaker 3: there was a small group of us, and my dear
Speaker 3: friend who's here with me now can attest to this
Speaker 3: because they were with me and and and and I'm
Speaker 3: not kidding. You could roll down the plastic you know,
Speaker 3: like window sides, and that's you know, and yeah and uh.
Speaker 3: And on the way back it was like I think,
Speaker 3: I think, I think we had like a backpack or something.
Speaker 3: And they were like, oh, no, you have to take
Speaker 3: the backpack off because the way you know of the
Speaker 3: so tory, I know how to get you through your fear.
Speaker 3: You have to come with me to the Amazon, okay,
Speaker 3: and we will go and visit the tribe there, and
Speaker 3: you will no longer have a fear of lying. I've
Speaker 3: gotten better, and you've got so much better, and this
Speaker 3: is going to be, this is going to be, this
Speaker 3: is going to be. Your next step is I'm going
Speaker 3: to go into the jungle. And once you have gone
Speaker 3: and flown over the jungle in one of these you know, cue.
Speaker 3: You know, they don't like parachute you out, No, they
Speaker 3: they land and then they say goodbye, and then they
Speaker 3: leave and you go and live in the jungle for
Speaker 3: however long you live there.
Speaker 2: And it's really spectacular. I mean that's did you film this?
Speaker 2: You film everything?
Speaker 4: Well? I filmed.
Speaker 3: I filmed parts of it for sure, and then wanted
Speaker 3: to be very respectful of the tribe that welcomed us
Speaker 3: in so so there was parts that I documented, in
Speaker 3: parts that just remain in my heart.
Speaker 2: It was very life changing. Is this where you had
Speaker 2: the shaman experience.
Speaker 3: I've had a few experiences with shamans, and that was
Speaker 3: that was an double experience with Yeah, is.
Speaker 2: That the one that told you, uh, that was a
Speaker 2: different one.
Speaker 3: We tell that story, sure, of course and around my
Speaker 3: heart our hearts. Yeah, And it's so wild because I
Speaker 3: was talking to Brian about this too, and it's so
Speaker 3: that the shaman there in the jungle.
Speaker 2: It was wild.
Speaker 3: I remember hugging just just the whole experience opening my
Speaker 3: heart so much, you know, And.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, absolutely, we can tell it.
Speaker 3: You can, you can, you can share, I can share
Speaker 3: however you want.
Speaker 1: This is wild that we've known each other for so long,
Speaker 1: you me and Brian. Obviously you and Brian stayed connected,
Speaker 1: like I lost touch with friends and just in and
Speaker 1: out of life. And I'm so happy and grateful to
Speaker 1: be reconnected with you, and I don't want to lose
Speaker 1: you again. I feel like this is the time in
Speaker 1: our journey we're supposed to reconnect and now together.
Speaker 2: But absolutely everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1: But it's wild. I have five kids, Brian has five kids.
Speaker 1: You have four kids.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah that there's a lot of kids between
Speaker 3: fourteen kids between.
Speaker 2: Anti moth I'm glad you did it for us. Thank you.
Speaker 3: At first I was sinking nineteen, but you know, fourteen
Speaker 3: might as well be nineteen.
Speaker 2: Fourteen kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So my feeling is, I wonder if you agree.
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, with this many kids, they better really
Speaker 3: make a huge difference an impact in the world. I'm like,
Speaker 3: they gotta, they gotta, and they are.
Speaker 2: I'm just busy trying to keep them alive.
Speaker 1: Every every night they go to bed, account all of
Speaker 1: them like there's that too, well more night.
Speaker 2: It's just like just getting through it. You are and
Speaker 2: so are.
Speaker 1: Your parents, all of us. But I think our biggest connection,
Speaker 1: at least from my perspective, is that we truly lead
Speaker 1: with our hearts and with kindness. And that's my biggest
Speaker 1: takeaway from my kids. Like people say, what do they
Speaker 1: want to be? And I said, you know what, that's irrelevant.
Speaker 1: I hope they make great changes in this world. I
Speaker 1: hope they do what their passions are and what their
Speaker 1: loves are and do well from and prosper. But leading
Speaker 1: with kindness is just my biggest thing, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: that they all have that from me.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, your beautiful, open, exquisite heart that I love so much,
Speaker 3: I loved so much. And what I was sharing with
Speaker 3: you and I was sharing with Brian, was that I
Speaker 3: had met this incredible shaman and was feeling very vulnerable
Speaker 3: in my life, as I so often do. And I
Speaker 3: think when we move through life and loss and love
Speaker 3: and allow the light to come in, you know that
Speaker 3: it's so much of our processing, you know. And we've
Speaker 3: also experienced a great deal of grief, you know, and
Speaker 3: and we've spoken of, you know, chasing grief away. And
Speaker 3: I know for me, I tried to love it away
Speaker 3: and work it away and just how it comes back,
Speaker 3: you know, to find its way to you. And I
Speaker 3: think that's something that you and Brian and I have
Speaker 3: spoken about so openly, you know, And ever since I
Speaker 3: was young, I mean, I've had the most incredible relationships
Speaker 3: and I've also lost some of like the closest people
Speaker 3: in my life. And so I was speaking with this
Speaker 3: shaman and he said to me, you go through life
Speaker 3: with a broken heart, and that is your journey. That
Speaker 3: is part of your journey, is going through life with
Speaker 3: a broken heart. I had never heard anything like that before,
Speaker 3: and yet at the same time, it gave me so
Speaker 3: much clarity because it it allows us to connect and
Speaker 3: to be open with each other and to see that
Speaker 3: that pain and that transformation of pain and delight is
Speaker 3: our super power, you know. Yeah, And then it allows
Speaker 3: other people to share with us and for us to
Speaker 3: share with them with the genuine being parts of our being,
Speaker 3: and to have compassion and empathy and all of these
Speaker 3: elements that I think are so truly who you are
Speaker 3: and certainly so much of of I feel the best
Speaker 3: versions of myself. And so that that was a really
Speaker 3: incredible moment where I just felt like all in my
Speaker 3: walls just you know, breaking down, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's also I think the definition what we're told
Speaker 1: the definition of a broken heart isn't always exactly what
Speaker 1: we think it means. Because we've also talked about kind
Speaker 1: of the openness of a broken heart, the thought if
Speaker 1: you just visually see a broken heart, kind of broken
Speaker 1: part that's inside of it, that's where the love and
Speaker 1: light and the ass coming.
Speaker 2: Through, well exactly.
Speaker 3: And that's one of my favorite Leonard Cohen quotes, one
Speaker 3: of my favorite musicians ever, has to do with you
Speaker 3: know how the broken parts are were the lights? You know?
Speaker 3: And and so I think that it's you put it
Speaker 3: so beautifully, which is to change the narrative within ourselves.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean that that the parts of
Speaker 3: us that have been broken, the loss that we've experienced,
Speaker 3: the trials and tribulations, have been so much of our
Speaker 3: expansion into the light, right, And I really believe that
Speaker 3: we're instruments for something so much bigger than us. And
Speaker 3: so every day, one of my dearest friends said, so
Speaker 3: like every day I ask the universe, allow me to
Speaker 3: be an instrument for me, for you, Let me be
Speaker 3: an instrument for you, and so on a daily basis,
Speaker 3: and I look to the universe and I asked, let
Speaker 3: me be an instrument, you know, for you and and
Speaker 3: my highest good, a vessel, a vessel for the good
Speaker 3: and the world, and that that's so much of who
Speaker 3: you are as well.
Speaker 2: Still deserved to fall in love.
Speaker 3: Oh well, absolutely, we deserve a lot of love. And
Speaker 3: that's the and that's that's that, that's that part of
Speaker 3: so much of what we've spoken about around worthiness and
Speaker 3: self worth and value and how we value ourselves. I
Speaker 3: think something that's really incredible to me though, is also
Speaker 3: the fact that love to me to day looked so
Speaker 3: different than the traditional kind of love that I had
Speaker 3: thought of because I had a very unorthodox life, as
Speaker 3: we did, right, and my dad was incredible and my
Speaker 3: mom super mom.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: My dad, you know, was a total rabble rouser, wasn't
Speaker 3: always around, but he gave me a lot of love.
Speaker 3: And I think that when I got married, I was
Speaker 3: I was searching for that tradition and thinking, okay, well,
Speaker 3: traditional you know, family values. And as time went on
Speaker 3: and we evolved in different ways and had these incredible
Speaker 3: children and came through that, I then, you know, have
Speaker 3: had these very incredible, interesting experiences. And one of the
Speaker 3: first people I came together with was one of my
Speaker 3: best friends from childhood, Seth, and it was a totally
Speaker 3: different kind of love. It was like that teen love again,
Speaker 3: you know. And Seth bins Or was like my childhood.
Speaker 2: Wait, I don't know him.
Speaker 3: Okay, did you ever hear the song Butterfly by Crazy Town?
Speaker 3: I said you she did my butterfly Baby? You don't
Speaker 3: know this on Butterflies, like one of the biggest anthems
Speaker 3: of the nineties.
Speaker 2: Don't we exceed me right now?
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll play it for you. Okay, we'll play it here.
Speaker 4: But essentially musician, yes.
Speaker 3: A musician I had not really kept up with like his.
Speaker 3: I hadn't really kept I hadn't really kept up with
Speaker 3: his like whole bad boy you know, teen years. The
Speaker 3: last time I had seen him, I had done a
Speaker 3: music video with him when I was like twenty years
Speaker 3: old or something, and so we hadn't seen that.
Speaker 4: We had grown up together.
Speaker 3: We were friends from twelve thirteen years old, and literally
Speaker 3: we came together. He was sober when we came together,
Speaker 3: and I was just like, oh my gosh. It was
Speaker 3: like this teen beautiful love and it was a whole other.
Speaker 2: Kind of love.
Speaker 3: And and we came together, and then he relapsed three
Speaker 3: to four months into us coming together, and it was
Speaker 3: Devin stating, and we had started making this documentary about
Speaker 3: his life and to do this, and it was incredibly
Speaker 3: beautiful in so many ways and so emotional in so
Speaker 3: many ways. And he passed away this this last summer.
Speaker 3: And and so my point being that I haven't really
Speaker 3: talked about this yet, Like you know, you know, to
Speaker 3: grieve so deeply means that we had to have loved
Speaker 3: and that love and that lightning and a bottle love
Speaker 3: that I felt for that time, you know, that was endless,
Speaker 3: you know, and love him so much. And and and
Speaker 3: I think, you know, the whole experience gave me such
Speaker 3: a deeper understanding on love and loving without judgment, and
Speaker 3: such an understanding around you know, mental health and addiction
Speaker 3: and looking at addiction more as disease.
Speaker 2: And then that led.
Speaker 3: Me to this journey with the Carters and this incredible
Speaker 3: journey that I've been on with this documentary. That I
Speaker 3: was able to process so much of the grief through
Speaker 3: this story that hit home so you know, hard for me.
Speaker 3: So my point is back to love that I think
Speaker 3: love comes in so many different stages, right, And it's
Speaker 3: like you could experience months or years with somebody and
Speaker 3: have some of the greatest love in your life in
Speaker 3: that lightning model moment, you know, and deep love of friendship,
Speaker 3: my love for you and us coming together where we
Speaker 3: hadn't seen each other for years, and it's like you
Speaker 3: just pick up right where you left off. Right the
Speaker 3: love that I have with friendships now, the love that
Speaker 3: I have with my children, and like I think, falling
Speaker 3: in love and love looks like so many different shapes
Speaker 3: and sizes. It's the mirror of who we are and
Speaker 3: when we're our most genuine self, and that.
Speaker 2: Reflects back to us.
Speaker 3: So I suppose as much as I love the idea
Speaker 3: of falling in love and sharing my life with that
Speaker 3: person in romance, right, I also want to be so
Speaker 3: aware that love exists all around me and that I
Speaker 3: am in love with each and every person that reflects
Speaker 3: back the best version of myself and that doesn't have
Speaker 3: to be defined to one.
Speaker 2: Person that reflects back.
Speaker 1: That was beautiful, Hey, carry that forever that it's be
Speaker 1: able to realize that that is. And I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: guessing I know the answer to this. You don't believe
Speaker 1: in regrets.
Speaker 3: Yeah, SELFE is far, so far is so precious. I
Speaker 3: had a lot of be honest, I feel like I
Speaker 3: had to work through a great deal of even when
Speaker 3: when you know that it's not your faulty, you're not
Speaker 3: able to save somebody and that they have to save
Speaker 3: themselves regardless of that. Oh my god, we're getting so deeper.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: So I had this thing where like sit and this
Speaker 3: is like really stuck with me where seth He would
Speaker 3: say he just wanted a nightstand, you know, in the house,
Speaker 3: And I think that to him was symbolic of like
Speaker 3: him just feeling like he had a place to call home.
Speaker 3: And he was somebody that listened so well. So Mother's
Speaker 3: Day it's like I would say, oh, you know things
Speaker 3: in passing, I love making right, I want to be
Speaker 3: able to make rice. And he would show up with
Speaker 3: a rice cooker and I never had a mirror that
Speaker 3: I could look close enough, and.
Speaker 4: He show up with a mirror. Like he listened so well,
Speaker 4: he checked in so much lunch.
Speaker 3: And I remember that on a Christmas morning he said
Speaker 3: I just want a nightstand. And he had said it
Speaker 3: so many times and I never heard it, you know,
Speaker 3: so for months after his passing, I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: the next time that, I'm like, I.
Speaker 2: Won't forget to get that night stand, you know.
Speaker 3: So it was such a learning process and it was
Speaker 3: such a journey and I wouldn't take back one second
Speaker 3: of it. And I think it's also what gave me
Speaker 3: the strength to then do the Carters, because I don't
Speaker 3: know that I would have been able to understand this
Speaker 3: family's journey, you know, or be there for Angel the
Speaker 3: way that I wanted to, in the way that I
Speaker 3: had to show up in the way that I think
Speaker 3: is a documentarian. It is my my responsibility to show
Speaker 3: up to provide a safe space for someone. Had I
Speaker 3: not learned so much through that experience, so you know,
Speaker 3: I had to like move through and let go of
Speaker 3: the guilt and the shame and you know all of
Speaker 3: those things that come with, you know, having a kind
Speaker 3: of you know, wanting to save people, because I think
Speaker 3: that's just innately in my inner being, wanting to do
Speaker 3: what I can to you know, save everyone around me,
Speaker 3: but realizing like I have to you know, first and
Speaker 3: foremost always be there to save myself.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And that's something that is you know, a constant learning experience,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: I have. So I watched the cart and it was
Speaker 1: so brilliant. I came away from it just having such
Speaker 1: a better understanding. And I never I'm not a judging person,
Speaker 1: but you know, we only know what we know and
Speaker 1: what we're told. And being able to change a narrative
Speaker 1: Aaron Carter and just and.
Speaker 2: His legacy, it was.
Speaker 1: Hauntingly beautiful and heartbreaking, and that's the only thing.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: I have so much admiration for you, and you're such
Speaker 1: a beautiful storyteller and it made me really happy that
Speaker 1: Angel is able to tell the story you want it.
Speaker 1: I'm so you were that vessel. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: and it's out now. I'm paramount plus and I want
Speaker 1: everyone to watch it just because I want them to
Speaker 1: know what a beautiful love story this is really and
Speaker 1: everyone can relate to it on some level.
Speaker 3: I'm so so thankful that you watched it. You know,
Speaker 3: Angel has such a courageous, beautiful, brave heart. And as
Speaker 3: we're talking about loss, I mean she had lost her sister, Leslie,
Speaker 3: she had lost her twin brother Aaron, and her father
Speaker 3: when we started this journey, and then she lost her
Speaker 3: sister be Jay and talk about coming through loss and
Speaker 3: turning that loss and pain into light.
Speaker 4: She is such an example of that.
Speaker 3: And to be able to share her truth and to
Speaker 3: see this family's transformation of how much they want to
Speaker 3: help make the world a better place because of their strength,
Speaker 3: and how we talk about in our generational trauma, and
Speaker 3: at the core, how much I wanted to really help
Speaker 3: share a story that had to do with mental health
Speaker 3: and addiction that touches so many of us, including myself
Speaker 3: in an honest way. I just I'm so thankful that
Speaker 3: they trusted in me, and that the team, the incredible
Speaker 3: team from Paramount, plus an incredible team from Candle Media,
Speaker 3: and just the entire team involved with it, that they
Speaker 3: allowed me to create a safe space for Angel to
Speaker 3: share her story. And just I'm so thankful, and I
Speaker 3: really hope that it touches lives and that people have
Speaker 3: a better understanding because so many people think that.
Speaker 2: That it's a choice.
Speaker 3: You know, that the addiction is a choice that people
Speaker 3: make every day, and you know, and I remember, you know,
Speaker 3: I remember Set at one point saying to me, I've
Speaker 3: tried everything. I dare any doctor, like literally, he's so
Speaker 3: wanted to live and Aaron is such a beautiful example
Speaker 3: of that, this beautiful, vibrant, lively, wonderful, just beautiful spirit
Speaker 3: that you see in all of those early years, you know,
Speaker 3: and what is that that point in which you know
Speaker 3: someone breaks or isn't able to continue on that journey.
Speaker 3: And so I really hope that this documentary helps people
Speaker 3: that are struggling and also to have a better understanding,
Speaker 3: you know, and creates conversations, meaningful conversations that we have
Speaker 3: to be having around mental health and addiction for sure.
Speaker 1: And it just stuck with me, Like you and you're
Speaker 1: talking about now and you will listen.
Speaker 2: But you do listen well.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing is with Kid ninety, I said
Speaker 3: that I was like, I didn't listen, and then it
Speaker 3: was so wild because again I tried to listen, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 3: I'm going to continue to do my best to listen,
Speaker 3: but tell me, but.
Speaker 2: No, you listen.
Speaker 1: And like I feel, you know, I can't speak for
Speaker 1: our friendship when we were teenagers, but our friendship now,
Speaker 1: you know, going forward, I feel like you listened so
Speaker 1: so well and you create that safe space even for
Speaker 1: your humans, you know, not on camera like that they
Speaker 1: feel comfortable just sharing and not feeling judged. It's such
Speaker 1: a safe place. But you know, I know you interview
Speaker 1: everyone and you do all of it. And then so
Speaker 1: the one time that we really heard your voice in
Speaker 1: it is you said to Angel when she said, you know,
Speaker 1: Nix said he wants therapy, and.
Speaker 2: You said, is that why the two of you are
Speaker 2: still here?
Speaker 1: And she said yes, sorry if I'm not verbatim seeing it,
Speaker 1: and that just like you're breaking the wall, and like
Speaker 1: saying that, just like that was like gut punched me
Speaker 1: because I was like, I think it's so important. It's
Speaker 1: such an important conversation and none of us can do
Speaker 1: it alone, and not just mental health, not just addiction,
Speaker 1: and specifically the mental health. I feel like it's something
Speaker 1: like we didn't talk about it when I was growing up.
Speaker 2: No one talked about it.
Speaker 1: That was a stigmatism, like someone was like, oh, they
Speaker 1: go to a therapist, what's wrong, or like you know,
Speaker 1: and it's such a conversation that I feel like perhaps
Speaker 1: our kids talk too freely.
Speaker 2: About and kind of throw it away.
Speaker 1: So there has to be that happy medium that we
Speaker 1: all find.
Speaker 2: But thank you for doing the story.
Speaker 1: And I think it's really beautiful, and I think you
Speaker 1: should get.
Speaker 2: A nice.
Speaker 1: You were realizing me we thought about getting it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we could refer a bish one Die Wyatt.
Speaker 4: You know, break if you want night the night stand
Speaker 4: in my heart I do.
Speaker 2: I definitely break in and let the light is for
Speaker 2: broken heart feeling.
Speaker 3: Oh well, okay, wait, I'll tell you one more great
Speaker 3: story and we can close on this, which I went
Speaker 3: on a date some some time ago, because you know,
Speaker 3: I mean, I like this, I like this, I like
Speaker 3: this story.
Speaker 4: So I went on a date.
Speaker 3: And and this gentleman takes me to this beautiful dinner.
Speaker 4: I love going.
Speaker 3: I'm manifesting a gentleman. I'm going to put this out
Speaker 3: of the universe. A gentleman takes me to fantastic dinner
Speaker 3: because we're manifesting here.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: And and afterwards he is telling me what he loves
Speaker 3: to collect, and he says, oh, I love to collect watches.
Speaker 3: He runs through the collection of things that he collects,
Speaker 3: and he turned to me and said, what do you collect?
Speaker 4: And I said, I collect memories.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. That's you.
Speaker 4: That's who I am. That's you are your memory collectors.
Speaker 4: So the nightstand is right here in my memory.
Speaker 1: And that's all you need. I understand. That's beautiful. Wait
Speaker 1: what else did he collect?
Speaker 4: Who knows? Apparently a lot of things. I love you.
Speaker 4: I laughed, I cried.
Speaker 2: I love you. I love you so much. No more.
Speaker 2: I really want you to take me in the Amazon.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to the Amazon. We're collecting memories.
Speaker 2: Yes, for the rest of our lives. I love you
Speaker 2: so much. I'm so grateful for you.