WEBVTT - Cleaning Out the Dorm Fridge! 

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<v Speaker 1>There's room for a half dozen beers and some snackables.

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<v Speaker 1>We're cleaning out the dorm fridge. One more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the mini fridge, one of the greatest conventions of

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<v Speaker 2>all time.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh so true, so true, so unobtrusive, so easily fit

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<v Speaker 1>in virtually any space, and yet keeps food cold, so

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have to walk over there.

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<v Speaker 2>Or we can have it at work, or you know whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't bring a big, giant refrigerator into your office

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<v Speaker 2>at work, you can have a little mini fridge tucked

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<v Speaker 2>underneath your cubicle, right, or your.

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<v Speaker 1>Main refrigerator looks respectable and nobody has any idea what

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<v Speaker 1>a boozer you are because you've got the mini fridge

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<v Speaker 1>over there in the man cave. I'm speaking for a

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<v Speaker 1>friend anyway, So we've got a little cleaning out to do.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna start slightly outragey, but move toward pure delight.

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<v Speaker 1>Who's in the mood for some pure delight? Sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>you're about to get touched unethically, all right, Michael, We'll

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<v Speaker 1>start fourteen.

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<v Speaker 2>Brace yourself, imagine faking your own assassination attempt for the

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<v Speaker 2>third time, and then everybody should have subset that it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't real and that you didn't croak.

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<v Speaker 3>I wake up each morning hoping he has died. I

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<v Speaker 3>go to bed each night hoping by the time I

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<v Speaker 3>get up in the morning, he has died. For the

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<v Speaker 3>love of all things good.

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<v Speaker 2>Shocked he died. They missed again. It's America.

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<v Speaker 4>Missed a kid.

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<v Speaker 3>If somebody misses one more time, nobody wants to work

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<v Speaker 3>these days.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody wants to get out there and work. Wow, that's

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<v Speaker 2>just a couple of days.

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<v Speaker 1>Quickie roundup of deranged leftists saying what they said about

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<v Speaker 1>the latest attempted assassination of Donald J.

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<v Speaker 5>I need America.

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<v Speaker 2>I've known two people it was back first term, but

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<v Speaker 2>two people who they weren't I at least not out

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<v Speaker 2>loud to the point of wanting him assassinated. But they

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<v Speaker 2>were definitely in the every single day of their lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, what did he do now? Oh? Oh oh.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even want to look living their lives in

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<v Speaker 2>such pain. For the existence of Donald Trump as president

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<v Speaker 2>seems so crazy to me. How do you know it

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<v Speaker 2>fulfills the psychological need of something? Clearly? Yeah, clearly it does.

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<v Speaker 1>Boy. Anyway, eh, Amazement and outrage. But I promised you

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<v Speaker 1>pure delight and here it comes.

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<v Speaker 2>Does this need any setting up?

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<v Speaker 1>Michael?

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<v Speaker 5>The year was nineteen ninety and this was a video

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<v Speaker 5>that explains here's how to use the Internet and what

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<v Speaker 5>it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh boy. The browser is the application that allows you

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<v Speaker 2>to view all of.

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<v Speaker 1>The information on the web.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you can get it free from your ISP, or

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<v Speaker 2>friend can download it for you on a disc.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also buy a browser or download one from

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<v Speaker 1>the Internet.

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<v Speaker 2>You might want to explain what it means to download.

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<v Speaker 6>It means to transfer a file of information from a

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<v Speaker 6>main computer or server to your computer.

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<v Speaker 5>And it's easy to do too.

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<v Speaker 3>Even I know how you can download games or anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Now you need to connect your ISP.

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<v Speaker 1>You click on the icon and then choose connect.

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<v Speaker 3>You can hear it.

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<v Speaker 1>Dialing sounds weird, humped and now we're online poor in

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen nineties. Porn nineteen nineties. It'll ruin society. Run for

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<v Speaker 1>your lives, Run for your lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything you've ever known is about to change for the worse.

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<v Speaker 2>Except for looking things up. That's much better. Yes, And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure it's a good trade off. Oh I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't say that, Moly, nineteen nineties. Early because we started

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<v Speaker 2>ninety two right, kind of getting an internet stuff when

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<v Speaker 2>we were downloading stuff at that job, that first job

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<v Speaker 2>we got together.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, it was ninety two ninety three.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, it was so slow. Just getting text was so slow.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>We were like trying to download twenty pages of text

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<v Speaker 1>and it would take forty five minutes, and if somebody

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<v Speaker 1>called you during that time, you had to start again.

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<v Speaker 5>I remember if you were downloading porn, it was like,

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<v Speaker 5>there's a head, there's a chest. It just took forever

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<v Speaker 5>for a body to appear.

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<v Speaker 2>There must have been very disappointing to a young masturbating Michaelangel.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all about anticipation.

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<v Speaker 6>The allure sounds like, you know, yeah, it builds up.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and I tell you what you get down to

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<v Speaker 1>the next you got her shirt on, You're like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, I just wasted tens and it cost me

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<v Speaker 1>fifty dollars terribly, and now I'm on a list of

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<v Speaker 1>porn enthusiasts.

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<v Speaker 5>Damn it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, run for your lives nineteen nineties. Imagine ignoring all

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<v Speaker 1>of your friends because you're looking at a screen that

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<v Speaker 1>brings you no joy.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, then why would I look at it? Because you're addicted,

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<v Speaker 2>say goodbye to focusing.

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<v Speaker 1>Whoops, this was supposed to be pure to light and

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<v Speaker 1>then said it was just took a turn. Yeah, it

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<v Speaker 1>took a turn. I swear I won't this one will

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<v Speaker 1>not take a turn. This will stay on the straight

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<v Speaker 1>and narrow of what was the phrase pure delight.

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<v Speaker 2>To hang on a second? Hangout, Katie? Do you want

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<v Speaker 2>to set this one up?

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<v Speaker 1>The restaurant one?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I can't. So this guy he goes into fast

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<v Speaker 6>food restaurants and as he gives as he gets his food,

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<v Speaker 6>he yells the slogan of the restaurant and why just

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<v Speaker 6>because it's funny and people enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 7>I will you know what what because no one pizza

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<v Speaker 7>the Hut together three two one, no one else pizza Hut.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, he fresh because of America runs on.

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<v Speaker 2>That taco bell.

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<v Speaker 6>He was yelling live moss oh, and then everybody was

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<v Speaker 6>yelling it back.

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<v Speaker 1>I think to Mike was over at the Burger King

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<v Speaker 1>that was recording him.

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<v Speaker 2>I would like to go into Army's and say we've

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<v Speaker 2>got the meat to absolutely think you should you go

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<v Speaker 2>to McDonald's enough you can do?

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<v Speaker 1>What what is McDonald Well, this is a really attractive

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<v Speaker 1>burger product.

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<v Speaker 2>That's funny. My kids and I we do that joke

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<v Speaker 2>a lot. How do you how do you even attack

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<v Speaker 2>this thing? This is a fine burger product.

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<v Speaker 5>Wow, well, I guess that's it.