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Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional h Professional.

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Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's your girl, eban A and like always, I am

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Speaker 1: super excited about this week's episode. Before we begin, let's

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Speaker 1: do some housekeeping. Please make sure to follow me on

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Speaker 1: some love at www dot the PhD podcast dot com.

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Speaker 1: the bottom of the page. The podcast has grown with

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Speaker 1: over one d five star reviews and I have so

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Speaker 1: much a store, but I cannot grow it without my

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Speaker 1: professional home Girls. And also shout out to the niggas

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Speaker 1: that's listening to the podcast as well. I appreciate y'all

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Speaker 1: and I see y'all. My nigga listenership is growing, so

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Speaker 1: thank you all for listening and tuning in. Last, but

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Speaker 1: Patreon is spelled p A t R e O N

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Speaker 1: forward slash the PSD podcast. There are four different tiers

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Speaker 1: ranging from three dollars to twenty dollars. I have some

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Speaker 1: but I need you all to support the kids. So

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Speaker 1: hold me down. Don't hold me up, niggas. Those that's

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Speaker 1: been sliding in my d M opened up that wallet

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Speaker 1: and show me some love and support me um. The

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Speaker 1: link will also be available in the show notes, so

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Speaker 1: please keep in mind that all of my guests are anonymous.

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Speaker 1: So let's begin this week's episode. Now, Before we begin

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Speaker 1: this week's episode, I want to do a humble flex

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Speaker 1: for my guests. She was a guest on the Red

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Speaker 1: Table Talk discussing colorism within our community. In addition, she

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Speaker 1: did a TED talk which was viewed over one million times.

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Speaker 1: She is a Harvard graduate and she received her NBA

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Speaker 1: from Stanford. I am beyond proud of her and I

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Speaker 1: am super excited to have her on the PhD Podcast.

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Speaker 1: So to my guests. How are you feeling. I am

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Speaker 1: feeling really good. It's really exciting, need to be here.

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Speaker 1: I love supporting just different platforms that amplify black voices.

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Speaker 1: So I'm feeling great. So once again, I just want

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Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for sharing your knowledge

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Speaker 1: and your story with us. This is one of those

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Speaker 1: episodes that is there to me because like Minnie Brownies,

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Speaker 1: I too experience colorism. So once again, thank you so much. Um,

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Speaker 1: when did you become so passionate about colorism? Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a great question. It's I mean, it's something I've always

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Speaker 1: lived with and known about, right so, or I guess

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Speaker 1: it's something I experienced before I knew what it was called.

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Speaker 1: And so you know, growing up while I grew up

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Speaker 1: in a in a neighborhood that did not have very

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Speaker 1: many black people, so one always kind of being on

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Speaker 1: the outside as one of the few black people. And

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Speaker 1: then you know, I kind of remember what I finally

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Speaker 1: was was able to be in spaces are an opportunities

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Speaker 1: with other black people, but still feeling lesser than or

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Speaker 1: still feeling marginalized. And I remember I had it first

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Speaker 1: became clear to me when you know, I was walking

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Speaker 1: through the mall. So that was some time in high school,

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Speaker 1: and it was me and my two friends. One of

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Speaker 1: my friends who was think complexion as me, you know,

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Speaker 1: brown skin girl, and my other friends. She's mixed to

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Speaker 1: was half black, half Mexican, so you know, very light skin,

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Speaker 1: you know, the long hair, blu curtain type of hair, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, and like, you know, all the guys would

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Speaker 1: kind of make a bee line to talk to her.

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Speaker 1: Um and my friend who who's brown skin like me,

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Speaker 1: she was like, you know, all the guys only like

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Speaker 1: her because she's light skinned. And I remember when she

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Speaker 1: said that, it was like a light bulb went off

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Speaker 1: and like that shed light and all the experiences that

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Speaker 1: if I've always had and how come I you know,

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Speaker 1: it was always passed over or you know, was you know,

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Speaker 1: wasn't I wasn't looked upon as as worthy or wasn't

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Speaker 1: looked upon as good enough. And I think it's even

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Speaker 1: more problem amongst women. You know, I have two brothers,

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Speaker 1: and you know, they like they definitely had a more

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Speaker 1: welcoming experience and men don't go through that for some reason.

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Speaker 1: Well I think they do a little bit, but not

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Speaker 1: nearly to the extent of that women do. And so

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Speaker 1: that that was the first time I was really able

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Speaker 1: to understand my experience of like, oh, that's why even

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Speaker 1: within black spaces, I'm still um, not as view I'm

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Speaker 1: still not viewed as as worth, you're not as not

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Speaker 1: viewed us favorably. And then it wasn't really until I

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Speaker 1: got to college where I took a lot of African

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Speaker 1: American studies, my the social studies made without the name

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Speaker 1: of my major, UM, and I focused on sociology and

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Speaker 1: even more specifically on like race and gender and identity

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Speaker 1: and all of that. And so that's when I was

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Speaker 1: really able to study black identity and you know, critical

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Speaker 1: race theory. And that's when I learned that this thing

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Speaker 1: had a name. It's called colorism, and you know, it

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Speaker 1: comes from slavery and and so that's that's always something

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Speaker 1: I was interested in. I know, I wrote my thesis

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Speaker 1: on black identity when I was in college. UM, and

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Speaker 1: so it's just you know, just because my own lived

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Speaker 1: experience is something that's always piqued my interest. Um. Then

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Speaker 1: when I got to grad school, there was a we

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Speaker 1: had a public speaking of course, if you will, and

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Speaker 1: I've always enjoyed public speaking black. In high school, I

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Speaker 1: was like in debate club and I did oratory, so

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Speaker 1: I'll give speeches, um, and so on this particular public

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Speaker 1: speaking class. UM, they said, you know you can to

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Speaker 1: the topic as of your choice. You know, the whole

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Speaker 1: objective is just to help you your presentation skills and

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Speaker 1: to coach you and things like that. So you know,

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Speaker 1: we're all able to pick a topic that we're passionate about.

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Speaker 1: And so I got into the class the year before,

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Speaker 1: so I had the summer to think about what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk about, and then the fall of the

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Speaker 1: next year because we meet our coaches and and we're

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Speaker 1: able to ask you prepare. And I've always known that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about race and identity, like that's

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Speaker 1: always something I'm interested in, I'm passionate about and have

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Speaker 1: studied UM. And then it was the summer and that's

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Speaker 1: when I saw that thread up Compton casting call and

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Speaker 1: oh wait, wait, wait, we don't listen it. So I

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Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people don't understand what colorism is,

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Speaker 1: So can you explain it? Yes, So, colorism is discrimination

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Speaker 1: against those with a darker skin tone, and it typically

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Speaker 1: happens within the same racial group. And so within the

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Speaker 1: black community, it's one black people discriminate against other black

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Speaker 1: people for having darker skin. Um. And it happens in

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Speaker 1: other communities too. It's very prevalent in the Indian community

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Speaker 1: or the Southeast Asian community, um, you know, and they're

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Speaker 1: much more open about the you know, favoring lighter skin.

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Speaker 1: There's tons of bleaching cream or it's called brightening cream

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Speaker 1: or lightning cream. Um. Because know, a lot of Southeast

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Speaker 1: Asian Indian women really you know, are striving to be

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Speaker 1: fair skinned. UM. We see it a lot in you know,

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Speaker 1: Asian community, East Asian communities. You know, you see Korean culture,

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Speaker 1: Japanese culture ever wants to be white, white, white, and

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Speaker 1: those that are darker tanner um are definitely looked upon negatively.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's something that that you see globally, you know.

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Speaker 1: It's it really stems from the whether it's the from

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Speaker 1: in the US, the history of slavery um, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of other countries, the history of colonialism, and just

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Speaker 1: really that kind of Western the oppression that comes from

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Speaker 1: the Western Anglo world. That was gonna be my next question,

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Speaker 1: um winded colorism began because I remember you saying it

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Speaker 1: it started during slavery in the US. In the US,

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Speaker 1: it starting slavery, um, but you know it's been happening

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Speaker 1: even before them. We're looking globally, you know, even from

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Speaker 1: colonialism and you know the continent of Africa and India, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, and even before then, just that you know,

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Speaker 1: whether it's comes from that mindset of you know, the

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Speaker 1: elite class. They aren't doing hard labor, you know, they're

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Speaker 1: indoors and so to have darker skin that really means

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Speaker 1: that you're in the lower cast of society, which means

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Speaker 1: that you're working in the field there, you're out in

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Speaker 1: the sun doing more laborious work. Actually stems from many

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Speaker 1: different places in the US our history. Um, it begins

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Speaker 1: a slavery. So in what ways do you think that

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Speaker 1: we discriminate against each other within our community? Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: a lot, definitely lots of different ways. And you know

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Speaker 1: there's the subtle ways of actually it's not even very subtle. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, we see that preference of people feeling like,

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Speaker 1: you know, light skinned men or women are you guys

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Speaker 1: more desirable? You know, they're called more beautiful. Um. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're often hear things like you know, the girl with

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Speaker 1: the good hair, you know, don't stay in the sun.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to get too dark, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you hear it within within your your community like

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Speaker 1: oh no, she's so beautiful with her fair skin, and

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Speaker 1: you don't really hear that about drown skin, and so

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Speaker 1: I don't really age. You can pick up on the pattern.

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Speaker 1: You may not know what it's called, Like I didn't

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Speaker 1: know what it was called, but I can pick up

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Speaker 1: on the pattern, all right. One of the things that

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Speaker 1: I learned from you, it was the three tests that

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Speaker 1: determined how dark a woman was. And before you go

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Speaker 1: into the three tests, who came up with those tests? Yeah? No,

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Speaker 1: that's a great question, you know these tests have because

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Speaker 1: I couldn't find that answer for nothing. Yeah no, I

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Speaker 1: don't think of who would actually originated from. But definitely

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Speaker 1: it's them from the times, uh, you know, still dating

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Speaker 1: back to you know, I say, right after slavery and

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Speaker 1: you know, needing to define the black population and needing

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Speaker 1: and wanting to be able to you know, segment who

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Speaker 1: is allowed, who is allowed into certain spaces and certain

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Speaker 1: um social circles, and who had access to other types

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Speaker 1: to certain resources um and the unfortunate thing is, we

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Speaker 1: as black people are typically the ones that you know,

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Speaker 1: took on those classifications and you know, really utilize those tests.

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Speaker 1: I think part of it was for survival, you know,

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Speaker 1: like those that were you know when you're when you

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Speaker 1: had light of skin, that was a huge advantage, right,

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Speaker 1: you had better access to education, you had better access

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Speaker 1: to jobs. And you know, because the white people who

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Speaker 1: hold the access, you know, we we as black people,

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Speaker 1: wanted to be favorable to them. So to show that hey,

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Speaker 1: we're just like you. You know, look my my hey

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Speaker 1: is is straight. I can run a puncil through it.

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Speaker 1: Look my my skin isn't dark. And so to be

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Speaker 1: able to say, hey, well we are the black people

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Speaker 1: who are lighter skin and we are just like the

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Speaker 1: white people, you know, please give us these resources, Please

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Speaker 1: give us access to this education. They needed a way

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Speaker 1: to separate from those that weren't. Dean does work being

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Speaker 1: mm hmm. So how do you think that the media

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Speaker 1: plays a role in colorism? That is a great question.

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Speaker 1: The media plays a huge role in perpetuating it and

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Speaker 1: perpetuating it simply because you know, when you look on screen,

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Speaker 1: all the black people, you know, when they if they

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Speaker 1: only look a certain way, and if that way that

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Speaker 1: it looks like isn't the way you look like a

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Speaker 1: brown skin and curly hair, it sends a very clear

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Speaker 1: signal into what's acceptable. Right. Another thing about to my

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Speaker 1: attention was the partnership between Vasilin and Facebook. And when

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Speaker 1: I saw it, I was like, Yo, what is wrong

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Speaker 1: with people? You know? It's it's so crazy, And it's

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Speaker 1: so crazy because like here in the US, you never

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Speaker 1: see that, right, like here in the U. Right, But

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Speaker 1: to think about how today, like in twenty twenty, it

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Speaker 1: is perfectly acceptable to sell lightning cream in in other countries,

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Speaker 1: And it just shows that, like it's so deep rooted

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Speaker 1: and though in the US it's taboo, you're not allowed

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Speaker 1: to talk about it, those feelings have not yet been

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Speaker 1: rooted out, you know, And so you know, just the

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Speaker 1: fact that in other places you can still you know,

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Speaker 1: they still talked about so openly. It just shows that, hey,

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Speaker 1: that sentiment is still there. And the fact that the

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Speaker 1: lightning and bleaching cream is a multimillion dollar business, It's

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Speaker 1: just like, how is that even possible? Like is the

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Speaker 1: dead many people out there that's really changing their skin color?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's crazy and even for me, it

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Speaker 1: was it was such an eye opening experience. Even at

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Speaker 1: the Red Table talk, one of the gats, her name

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Speaker 1: is Stacy Summers, who's so bread and absolutely incredible, she

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Speaker 1: talked about her skin weaking story, and I was like, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: I actually didn't know anyone in the US that that that.

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Speaker 1: And I'm from Nigeria, so I have family overseas, and

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Speaker 1: it's it's a bit more prevalent there, like you can

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Speaker 1: buy skin bleaching cream. It was never really done amongst

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Speaker 1: my family, but it's like there are people that that

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Speaker 1: do you buy that there? So I just I was

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Speaker 1: very surprised that he and at least in her community

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Speaker 1: in Florida, it was widespread. And so it's just once

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Speaker 1: again just a reminder that you know, those sentiments are

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Speaker 1: still there even if people don't explicitly say it. Um.

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Speaker 1: Those beliefs are still there, and it's perpetuated by you know,

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Speaker 1: who's on the cover of a magazine who gets pass

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Speaker 1: for certain roles um. And then as the brown skin girls,

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Speaker 1: we feel it right ian f its never explicitly spoken about,

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Speaker 1: we can feel that preference and we all for the

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Speaker 1: same thing. Another story that went by it was the

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Speaker 1: straight at the content casting call sheet. So when you

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Speaker 1: broke that down, I was like, Yo, that's just so

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Speaker 1: crazy to me that somebody was that boat to even

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Speaker 1: write that down and people were going to buy it, right,

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Speaker 1: So that you know that it was that casting call

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Speaker 1: that moved me to that That's when I knew, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not talking gonna be about colorism. It's not the

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Speaker 1: thing about bracing them specifically about colorism. And that was

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Speaker 1: a turning point for me. Really, it's really turning point

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Speaker 1: for me because I I felt like Summer well, I

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Speaker 1: feel like it was the start of what I'll called

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Speaker 1: this kind of like black renaissance in Hollywood. Whereas I think, now,

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Speaker 1: you know, we there's so many um there's way more

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Speaker 1: content for us than there was for a very long time, right,

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Speaker 1: but they're insecure that black canther. You know, there's a

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Speaker 1: moonlight won an oscar like, so there was more excitement now.

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Speaker 1: But I remember once Day Panting came back, that was

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Speaker 1: still kind of the beginning of this resurgence of black art.

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Speaker 1: And I was so excited for that movie because I'm

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Speaker 1: from l a Um. The Storm but still from l

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Speaker 1: a Um. I remember just being so excited for this,

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Speaker 1: like mainly black cast telling the story about black people

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Speaker 1: in l A. And I remember that whole summer I

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Speaker 1: had felt so seen. I saw the movie three times

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Speaker 1: in theaters, like I was just I was so hype

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Speaker 1: about that movie and stories being told and just you know,

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Speaker 1: black excellence being shown. Because when I came across that

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Speaker 1: casting call, it really felt like a slap in the face.

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Speaker 1: How did you come across? Like on Facebook, it was

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Speaker 1: starts lating around like it was. It was huge that

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Speaker 1: call came out. It was like no spread out of Compton,

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Speaker 1: you know casting call or you know, this racist casting call,

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Speaker 1: And it broke my heart because I was like, whoa, Like,

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Speaker 1: these are the people the community where I can finally

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Speaker 1: be seen because I've spent most of my time in

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Speaker 1: predominant white institutions, predominant predominantly white spaces, so you know, I,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've always found a lot of solace in

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Speaker 1: the black community. Um and so, but the black community

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Speaker 1: does have its own prejudices, and so this read that

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Speaker 1: casting call with this painful reminder that even within the

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Speaker 1: one space right I should feel safe and accepted and seen,

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Speaker 1: you know, within the black community, even there there's still

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Speaker 1: divisions and discrimination and preferences of which I am in

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Speaker 1: the unfavorable bucket. And so yeah, when I was doing

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Speaker 1: some touch because I watched the documentary Dark Girls, and

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Speaker 1: everybody just kept saying the same thing. Even Um, one

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Speaker 1: of the guests in the Red Tables, her daughter said it,

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Speaker 1: and she was saying how white people made her feel

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Speaker 1: more appreciative of her skin color than black people. Hey guys,

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Speaker 1: the PhD podcast is sponsored by eban A Beauty and

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00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 1: A Beauty is a beauty company that I found it

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Speaker 1: and our very first product is alright beautiful make lashes

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Speaker 1: that you can wear up to twenty five times, yes,

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Speaker 1: twenty five times with the proper care um. For more information,

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Speaker 1: visit E b O and e beauty dot com. Use

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Speaker 1: so make sure you go to the website. Eb and

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Speaker 1: A Beauty used the code and let's get back to

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Speaker 1: this week's episode. And I thought that was crazy because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how can black how can black people make

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Speaker 1: you feel a certain way towards your own complexion. But

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Speaker 1: I'm from the South, and I was always being told

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Speaker 1: that I was pretty for a dark skinned girl, and

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Speaker 1: I used to be like, what the hell does that

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Speaker 1: even mean? Yeah, No, I think about that a lot.

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Speaker 1: I think I think it stems a lot from our

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Speaker 1: own as a community, you know. I think it's something

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Speaker 1: the fact that I think as a black community, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of just self hate ingrained within the community,

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Speaker 1: which is which is really unfortunate. And I don't think

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Speaker 1: it's a matter of well, whether or not you have

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Speaker 1: a little self esteem or whether or not you have confidence.

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Speaker 1: I just think as a community, I think about our

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Speaker 1: parson in the US, we've you know, we've been taught

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Speaker 1: to not not like our blackness, and that's been for survival,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like for so it's been a matter of

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Speaker 1: survival to distance ourselves from our blackness. And so I

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Speaker 1: think that you know, has just been so ingrained within

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Speaker 1: our psyche as a community that I think that's why

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Speaker 1: as black people were more noticeable of distancing ourselves from

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Speaker 1: you know, very dark skinned, very kinky hair, you know,

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Speaker 1: like we've been so programmed to know that, hey, those

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Speaker 1: types of things might hold me back. Those types of

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Speaker 1: things you know, can will hinder me from success in

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Speaker 1: a way that as a white person, they just see

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Speaker 1: a black person with your light skinned or dark standards

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Speaker 1: like you're black, which just means that you are not white,

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Speaker 1: which treature accordingly. But for you know, as a black community,

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Speaker 1: as we're trying to get ahead, and we can pick

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Speaker 1: up on the signals from society, and the signal term

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00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: society is that you need to align yourself as close

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Speaker 1: to whiteness as possible. That's a fact. That's so after

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Speaker 1: these companies show support when it comes to break in

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Speaker 1: society standards of what beauty is. That is a great question.

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Speaker 1: And I will say this, and I will say this forever.

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Speaker 1: I will forever be a Rihanna stand because of Fenty.

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Speaker 1: And that signifies so much because any brand could have

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Speaker 1: done what Fenty did. They just didn't want to. Any brand,

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Speaker 1: all these billion dollar beauty companies they could have, They

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Speaker 1: have the formulations, they have the money, they just didn't

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Speaker 1: think that it They didn't see the market value of it.

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Speaker 1: So the fact that Rihanna could come out and be like,

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Speaker 1: I am going to have a brand whose mission is

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Speaker 1: to serve you know, browns, could women of all shades,

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Speaker 1: and the fact that she was able to be so

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Speaker 1: successful and now all these other legacy beauty companies are like,

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Speaker 1: oh wait, well now we need to do this that too,

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Speaker 1: And so, you know, I think it's very easy for

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Speaker 1: the people at the top to you know, just look

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Speaker 1: at black people as almost like like like a line

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Speaker 1: item and very quickly see, well, well, how much money

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Speaker 1: will I make by focusing on this on this market

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Speaker 1: segment and if and if it's it's not gonna be profitable,

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Speaker 1: then then why doesn't matter? Um? And so you know,

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Speaker 1: not not viewing you know, as as a people as

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Speaker 1: just um, a market segment that you can do the

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Speaker 1: math and say, hey, it's not profitable to focus on them,

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Speaker 1: so we're not going to and really seeing it as like, hey,

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Speaker 1: these are people whose you know, needs and wants aren't

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Speaker 1: currently being serviced, and so what can I do to

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Speaker 1: to service this market? I'm just curious, So what is

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Speaker 1: your thoughts who all these companies coming out now saying

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Speaker 1: black lives matter, we support black people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: It's it's been interesting Instagram and you know, I'm seeing

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Speaker 1: companies and it's no it's it's hard to say until

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Speaker 1: unless I'm in that particular company, right, So, because it's

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you hope it's authentic,

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Speaker 1: and you hope it's genuine, and you hope that you know,

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Speaker 1: I think this was a wake up call. This, this

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Speaker 1: moment um with George Floyd has really been a wake

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Speaker 1: up call for a lot of non black people that like,

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Speaker 1: oh wait, like something is going is going on. Maybe

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Speaker 1: because of since Corona were all inside and have had

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Speaker 1: less distractions, we're able to two it in a bit more.

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Speaker 1: But it's definitely been a wake up call. So the

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Speaker 1: question is, um, is this was this a wake up

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Speaker 1: call that, oh well I really need to reflect and

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Speaker 1: think about how I've been participating in um, you know,

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Speaker 1: anti black sentiments and how I can change versus well,

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Speaker 1: what's the Instagram post I need to put up so

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Speaker 1: I don't get dragged? And it's hard to say from

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Speaker 1: the outside. Um, So you know, my my only ask

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Speaker 1: is that you know, if anyone that's listening to this,

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Speaker 1: that's that's working somewhere, is you know, let's let's hope

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Speaker 1: that the leadership is genuine and that's being held accountable. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see these people leadership boards because

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Speaker 1: a lot of people want to be pro black and

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00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 1: black lives matter, but representation matters, and I don't see

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Speaker 1: a lot of black people at these boards meeting. So

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00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,959
Speaker 1: let's see, right, so exactly and so and this is

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00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like this is will be a

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Speaker 1: big opportunity for a lot of black people that have

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00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: been overlooked, like there was no way someone can be

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00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: to you now you know, right, this is the perfect

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00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: time for you. Gotta get your stuff out. Yeah, have

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00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: your start up there like people brought like you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get fund being like this is the time because everybody

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Speaker 1: got money for black people. So one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: talks that you did was on bat and you gave

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Speaker 1: your thoughts on how beauteous to find by men. So

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Speaker 1: I want you to share with the listeners. But before

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Speaker 1: you do, one of the things that you did when

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Speaker 1: they talk and when you gave the definition, how you

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Speaker 1: feel about how many of you be women? A lot

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Speaker 1: of the women the audience were black women, and they

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Speaker 1: were just shaking their heads and agreeing with you, and

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Speaker 1: some people was even like tearing up. How did that

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00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 1: make you feel? Yeah, I know that talk was that

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00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 1: was amazing. I think that was one of your best talks.

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Speaker 1: Like I was, like, I even started tearing up, and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about why I teared up later, but

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Speaker 1: go ahead, I saying thank you so much. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was Can I did that talk? Um, I gotta maybe

427
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: six months after my Ted talk and I almost do

428
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: that as part two. Um. I definitely see the growth

429
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: between part one with the Ted talk and part two

430
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: to where you was at. And I'm gonna explain that later,

431
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: but go ahead, yeah. Yeah, And so I don't I

432
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: don't want to get way whatever you're gonna explain, So

433
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: I'll just kind of talk about, um, how I how

434
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: I felt about my thought was is so after the

435
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: the Ted talk and the big thing with the Ted talk,

436
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: it was it was my opportunity to um shared this,

437
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 1: share what this phenomenon of colorism was to to my audience.

438
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 1: And remember I gave this in grad school Stanford that

439
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: doesn't have that many black people. So it was more

440
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: so like explaining to the audience, Hey, this is what

441
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: rhythm is. You guys may never have heard about it,

442
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 1: but this is what it is that affects a lot

443
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: of people. And it's affected me and how that's something

444
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: that I'm still working through is how can I really um,

445
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: you know, love my blackness? And you know, how how

446
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: do I really you know, I I say, you know,

447
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm a strong black woman, I'm smart, blah blah blah.

448
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 1: But you know, there's always been that this part of

449
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: me that I never fully embraced, and that giving that

450
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: talk really enabled me to do a lot of reflection.

451
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: I really thinking, like you know, I I'm just in

452
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 1: the beginning of my journey of self love and self acceptance.

453
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: And it's just it was a really important tire for

454
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: me to really root out. Okay, like, what what are

455
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 1: the things that's that's called that's stopping me from fully

456
00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: embracing myself? You know, what are the different fall narrative

457
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 1: I've always told myself about how I'm, how I'm supposed

458
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: to act, what I'm supposed to look like, And really think,

459
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: if you're what's that next step I can take to

460
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: truly self accept myself free from trying to to get

461
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 1: outside validation And how can I transition into you know,

462
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: surviving off of my own internal validation and internal self acceptance.

463
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 1: And that was really the premise of the talk I

464
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: gave UM for bt UM. You talked about how you

465
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: try to find other ways to fit in and feel

466
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: like you to be more acceptant in one of those

467
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 1: ways where you were wearing long weaves, and that's when

468
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: you start talking about the impostera syndrome. So can you

469
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: explain with the impostor syndrome is and how it was

470
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: affecting you. Yes, the imposter syndrome is when you know

471
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: you're you're in a position that you've worked hard for,

472
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: but no matter how much you've achieved, no matter how

473
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: much you've how much you've earned a spot to be there,

474
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: you you're always worried that that someone is going to

475
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: find out that or someone is going to you yourself

476
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: think you're not good enough, and they're always worried that

477
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: someone's going to discover that you're a fraud. You're always

478
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: questioning your worthiness of being in a certain position or

479
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: being in a certain space, and so you think you're

480
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: impostor um. You know, it's It's something that I've often

481
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,239
Speaker 1: felt at the different schools I went to UM. You know,

482
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 1: maybe someone realizing that you know, I'm I'm not actually

483
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: smart enough to be here, you know, you know, believing

484
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: the things other people say of, well did I get

485
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: here just because affirmative action? Maybe I'm actually not as

486
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 1: smart as my as my white classmates, and let me

487
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: not speak up in class because if I answer the

488
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: question wrong, then they're gonna know that I I don't

489
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: actually belong here. And that's a fear that a lot

490
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: of marginalized people feel when we when we in spaces

491
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: that we we've earned our rights to be there, but

492
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: because we see so few examples, it's it's more natural

493
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: to question then why we're there in the first place.

494
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: So how do you overcome that? Yeah, that that is

495
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:15,239
Speaker 1: really doing that work of self acceptance, confidence, self love. Um,

496
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: I have a black female therapist who I love, So

497
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: if you important, and I love therapy, so yes to therapy, yes, yes, yes, no,

498
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: And I think you know, black people just asks the community,

499
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: you know, if if anyone needs to listen. I think

500
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: we should have free therapy forever to there to work

501
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: through craziness people put through in this country. And it's

502
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: a lot of generational persons, everything just going on within

503
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: this country. These past couple of weeks have been so

504
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: difficult for me. So I know my therapist has been

505
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: very pleased with my payments because I've been talking her

506
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: head off. That's a it's alive exactly. So you know,

507
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: it's really trying to, you know, work through a lot

508
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: of these perceptions we've held about ourselves. You know, I

509
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: think a lot of us we learned to compartmentalize it

510
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: in order to move through the world, to walk through

511
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: our days. And it's exactly to show face. Um that's

512
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: a fact, but we really need to you know, reflect

513
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: the really confront a lot of these false narratives you've

514
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: been holding on too, and really work through rooting them

515
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: out versus just covering them up. Right. Um, So back

516
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: to the BT special. So the reason why this BT

517
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: special was one of my favorites because if you watch

518
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: her first head talk, you can tell that, I don't know,

519
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: you could tell that you were still trying to figure

520
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 1: things out within yourself. That's what I got from it.

521
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: And then to see where you was at with the

522
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: B E. T Talk and then you snatch your wig off,

523
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: and for one I was like yes, But I think

524
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: for me it was kind of like symbolism and it

525
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: sis like I'm finally here, like I see me from me,

526
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: and I think what really made me get emotional and

527
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: I started tearing up because it was just so many

528
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: different black women from a just probably in the twenties today,

529
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: early fifties, and they always just well you were speaking,

530
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: they was looking at you, and it's like I felt

531
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: like they stawed themselves in you. And I just thought

532
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: that was just so dope. Like I was just so

533
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: proud to see that moment. I know there had to

534
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: be a such a wonderfulfill into the experience because even

535
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: the older woman when the audience were like crying, Yeah,

536
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: I know that was that was crazy and it's like

537
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: you you have to be some arsed that perfectly that yes,

538
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 1: And I gave that ted talk. I was still working

539
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: through it. You know, if you think about where I

540
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: was in my life, I had really learned how to

541
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: compart to mentalize then, like how to show face and

542
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: how to fit in and smile for the white people

543
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: and like, you know, and just never really confronted a

544
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: lot of things. And you know, I forget that talk.

545
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, how can I say that I

546
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: am a confident, you know, strong black woman if my

547
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 1: greatest fear is getting you know, caught you know, outside

548
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: in public with without my weave, you know, and so

549
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: just you know, I'm really realizing, like, whoa, I that's

550
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: a huge part of myself that I've yet to accept.

551
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 1: And I know that this is something that so many

552
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: black women can relate to hair, you know, black hair,

553
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: what that means, and what that represents and all of that,

554
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: because for black women is not his hair. For black people,

555
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: it's not his hair. Hair has one of the things

556
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: that's been weaponized against us. So you know, we we

557
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: put a lot of value in our hair. And my hair.

558
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: For those that knew about the different curl type, it's foresty,

559
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: so it's you know, it's it's the curliest, it's the coyliest,

560
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: it's it's all that. And so just so much of

561
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: my struggle with self acceptance has been with you know,

562
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: me wish and I had quote unquote good hair and

563
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: so and it says I just had an experience. So

564
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: it's like my hairstyles was like you have to cancel

565
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: an appointment last minute, and so also wordable, my god,

566
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look so crazy. He's gonna deal with my hair.

567
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: But I was like, you know, I just need to

568
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: be over this. And so I I remember I told

569
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: my friend camp kind of my hair, I'm just like, no,

570
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: do I told some things, you're depressed, I don't ee

571
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: think then I think you're going through something. You completely

572
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: cut off your hair, and I was like, no, Like

573
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: I am so tired of being I felt like being

574
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 1: a slave to my hair and like, you know, and

575
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: so I thought of them, and beach Here approached me.

576
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what I want to give my

577
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: talk about. I wanted to really chronicle my journey to

578
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: having the confidence to just cut off my hair, and um,

579
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to I want to share it on

580
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: this stage with these women so they can kind of

581
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: see that progression and it's Cutting my hair was definitely

582
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 1: probably one of the top three best decisions of my life,

583
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: because I remember, like when I did that, it's like,

584
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: you know what, who knows that people are gonna think

585
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: I'm attractive? Who gets it that? It put me in

586
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: the space where I was forced to not rely on

587
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,919
Speaker 1: outside validation. Um, And so that's it's it's the point

588
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: that I hope everyone gets to just knowing that you

589
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: don't need other people to validate your words, and you

590
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: know what, when when you snatched the wig off you

591
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 1: called me off guards because I wasn't expected. I said, Okay,

592
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. Has that

593
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: big top it literally, So where are you at now

594
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 1: with their journey and stuff? Love? Yeah, No, that's a

595
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: great question. You know, I've come a really long way,

596
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: but you know, there's there's still there's still work to

597
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: be done. I think it's it's like as as Missail

598
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: Obama says her books Becoming, We're always becoming U such

599
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: a great book, and so it's you know, always always developing.

600
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've come such a long way

601
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: from where I was and what when I gave that

602
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: Ted talk for your go to where I am now?

603
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: And I think I'm in a better position to really

604
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: share my testimony and speak with others and help others.

605
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: But they're still you know, I can get even you know,

606
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 1: further deep into truly rooting out and what are the

607
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: parts of me that I hide away? Why do I

608
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: hide that away? How can I trying to light and

609
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: embrace that? And I almost feel like I'm in a

610
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: bit of a timer. I'm I'm not married, I'm gonna relationship,

611
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 1: but I'm not married, but I know I kind of

612
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: had the sense of, you know, how do I want

613
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: to show up for my teacher daughters? And I know

614
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: that I need to be my most calm, Like there's

615
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: no way I can teach my daughters love themselves if

616
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: I don't really love my love myself. And so that's

617
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: why I'm like, you know, let me put in this

618
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: work so I can be a living example or my feature.

619
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: Well that's so funny because my next question is pertaining

620
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 1: to kids, because I was watching this documentary which I'm

621
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: pretty sure everybody saw um and it was just so sad,

622
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,959
Speaker 1: like they literally broke my heart with a young girl

623
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: I think c and then did like a study on

624
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: young kids between the age just write A five and seven,

625
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: and the young girl was asked to place values based

626
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: on the color of the skin tone of the dolls,

627
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: and she was saying how the white doll was smart

628
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 1: and pretty when the dark skinned doll was just ugly

629
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: and dumb. And then or even when the little girl

630
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: went viral on the Instagram and she was saying how

631
00:36:55,760 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: ugly she was. That's gonna make me girl, I know,

632
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: And I was just like, I'm like, yo, like what

633
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 1: do we got to do to teach our kids, especially

634
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: these these young girls that they're beautiful, because like I

635
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: don't understand, like who's teaching them this? Ye that at

636
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: such a young age you think that, um, and and listen,

637
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: that's very top of mind for me. I'm very blessed.

638
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 1: My boyfriend is a very strong black man and he

639
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: is the kid top of the king Black love. And

640
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 1: so that's something that we think about and talk about.

641
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: It's like, all right, like what what is that environment

642
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,720
Speaker 1: that we need to create so our black daughter knows

643
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: that she is beautiful and powerful and has no limits. Um.

644
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: So so yeah, we we are definitely going to be

645
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: those annoying parents that like after school you're going to

646
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: get a separate lesson which is on black culture and

647
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,839
Speaker 1: you know drew black history. Um. And that's just really

648
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:03,760
Speaker 1: my can sure that you know she's not just concerned

649
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 1: because you can't trust this regular media, right. I think

650
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: that's that's what perpetuates a lot obviously negative negative All right,

651
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: like haw me make sure that you know our what

652
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 1: we can control our community and what she's exposed to

653
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: is affirming. Mhm um, what's an advice she would give

654
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: to the Brownies best listener on embracing the skin that

655
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: they're in it. Yeah, my advice is to surround yourself

656
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: with life affirming people. Um. You know, surround yourself with

657
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: with people who let you just be as you are. UM.

658
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: I think a lot of time the difficulties happen when

659
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 1: we're younger and trying to fit into certain friend groups

660
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: or grab certain people at attention and just knowing that

661
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: you know you have value just being yourself. You don't

662
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: need to convince anyone else to to like you or

663
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: accept you. Um. And with at confidence, that's when you'll

664
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,439
Speaker 1: then get get get the love, but at that inner love.

665
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 1: So I would say, you know, don't resist the temptation

666
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: to to look outside for someone to to validate you.

667
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: And is there anything else you would like to say

668
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 1: to the male listeners. I don't know why my male

669
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: listenership is growing because I stay talking about them. But

670
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: that's listening that continues to make comments or to put

671
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: light skin and dark skinned women against each other. Yes, no,

672
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: this is I think black men definitely, this is the

673
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: opportunity that you know, you could really be an ally

674
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: to your brown skin. You know, your brown skin friends,

675
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,959
Speaker 1: you know, think about all the different brown skin women

676
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: in your life. You're you know, maybe your mother, you're sibling,

677
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: you know, you're friends, which I don't understand. You know,

678
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 1: it's always it's you know, in draft the Dark Girl's documentary,

679
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: because one girl's commenting about comments talking about comments are

680
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: cousin had made and it's like, you know, family. So

681
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 1: I really want this to be a call to action

682
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 1: to black men to see, Okay, how can you step

683
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: up as allies? So that way, when if you're in

684
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: a room where jokes are being made about putting down

685
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: dark skinned women, rather than just laughing along or thinking,

686
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: oh well, if I don't say anything, I'm not part

687
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: of the problem. You know, as as we're seeing in

688
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: this movement, you know, silence is just the same thing

689
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: as perpetuatedalnced. So you know, use your position to step

690
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,720
Speaker 1: in and say hey, that's not cool, Hey that's not cool.

691
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: You know that that could be your mom, that's a

692
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 1: one's sister, um, and so you know, oftentimes, you know,

693
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: as a black women, we may not be in the room.

694
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: We're not in those locker room conversations. So I feel

695
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: like black men using your your privilege to stop a

696
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 1: lot of the negative things that are said about dark

697
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 1: skinned women. And remember, you're gonna have a black daughter

698
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 1: one day, so right, you don't want the body say

699
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 1: that about your daughter. I'm just curious what's next for

700
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: you within the whole colorism movement, because I feel like

701
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: there's so much more you can like be doing. I'm

702
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: pretty sure that you will be doing in the future.

703
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,879
Speaker 1: So what's next. Yes, I definitely want to speak more,

704
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: find different opportunities to share my method. I would like

705
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 1: to work work more with with women about beyond just colorism,

706
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 1: but overall just self love, self empowerment, building confidence UM.

707
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: So being able to spread that message more, be a

708
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: talk like this, UM, different webinars when we're able to

709
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: be out of quarantine, whether it be a conferences, and

710
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,240
Speaker 1: also even more one on one work, maybe more small

711
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: group work to really think about how we can as

712
00:41:54,160 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: a community build up UM love for love for ourselves.

713
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Well, I'm very super excited about this interview.

714
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: If you'll have any questions, comments you want to reach

715
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: out to my guests, please email me at Hello at

716
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: the PhD podcast dot com. To my guests, thank you

717
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,760
Speaker 1: so much for sharing this conversation with me and until

718
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: next time. Everyone later, this was so much fun. Thank you,

719
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:24,959
Speaker 1: thank you,