WEBVTT - Joy 101: Jodie Turner-Smith 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:15.560 Hey guys, Well, summer is here, and you know, I'm 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:17.759 going to try to do every summer because I feel 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:23.800 like during the regular year, we're sprinting. I'm missing things, 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:27.480 We're racing through things, We're getting to the next thing. 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:29.480 I mean, I even think about it when I'm getting 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:31.640 my kids ready for school. It's like, get your shoes, 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:33.280 get your shoes, let's go, let's go. I feel like 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:37.800 we're always in motion and in fast, crazy, fast paced. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:43.319 So let's talk about what happens when we slow it down. 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:45.199 Don't have to be summertime to slow down, but just 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:49.159 to slow it down. Because what's weird is I think 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:51.960 when we slow our days down, and we can do 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:56.240 it intentionally, like it feels like there's more time in 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:59.200 the day, it feels like there's more room to flush 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:03.320 it out. It feels like everything slows down. And so 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.360 when summer comes, since we don't have all the deadlines, 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:11.400 it's the idea of taking it slow. Like what I 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:13.200 like to do on a summer day is have one 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:15.480 mini plan during the day, whether it's go to the 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:19.560 pool or do something. The rest of the day, I 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:23.280 feel like it should breathe. And I've noticed something about myself, 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.640 and I don't know if you guys have this. When 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:30.480 I'm rushing, my kids hardly say anything because they're always 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:33.320 being rushed. We don't have any kind of conversations that 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:38.040 are any good. The best convos I find come either 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.920 late at night when you're putting your child down. At night, 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:42.720 when you're putting your child down and there's nowhere to 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:46.040 go except to sleep, when I'm driving, because they're not 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.320 staring at me, and they for some reason, they just 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:52.720 start talking it all out, and when I'm in slow motion. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:59.360 So here's an example of one of my daughters. So 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:03.240 we were in the bathroom and she was using the 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.600 bathroom when were reading a book together. She's seven and 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.040 so she so I was sitting there and I thought, 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.640 let me just ask her this question. I said, so, honey, 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:16.120 my daughter has type one diabetes. She was diagnosed when 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:22.359 she was almost five. And so I said, can I 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.440 ask you a question? I said, what's it like to 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.840 have diabetes? Because I never really asked her that, you know, 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:29.840 and anyone who's got a child or knows someone with 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:34.040 diabetes knows there's a lot of insulin and shots and 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.880 monitoring and you know, all that stuff. And she said, well, 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:44.639 sometimes it feels kind of unfair because all the other 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.520 kids get cupcakes and I don't sometimes and kids are 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:52.000 always asking me, like what is that thing on your arm? 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:55.840 And sometimes my legs feel wobbly. And she was just 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.079 going through all the things that come with being a 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:02.720 little kid with diabetes. Yes, and I was listening so 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:05.359 and she said so, but I guess that's life, right, mom, 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:09.240 something like that. And I said, yeah, honey, And she said, well, 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:14.120 what's it like for you to have me? I said, oh, 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.639 my God, like it's one of the greatest blessings of 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:18.919 my life to have you. I said, I'm learning so 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.480 much from you, and I'm watching your resilience and you know, 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:24.280 and I'm talking on and on and she blurts out 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:25.959 in the middle the middle of it, like wipe me, mom, 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.600 or something like that. But the point is is like 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:35.560 that conversation would not have come had I not slowed down, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.160 if I'd been racing like I do. To hurry up 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:42.880 and brush your teeth and wipe yourself and move on 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.600 and let's go and in the car, put on your seatbelt. 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.000 You know, all the things I would have missed it. 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:54.880 And so my summer intention is to slow down, is 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:59.240 to have real conversations that are rich and full and beautiful, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.000 and they're all around us, and I think sometimes we 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.320 miss them because we're too busy getting to the next thing. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.600 I remember Maria Shriver told me the story once that 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:11.840 she had a million things to do and she was 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.440 talking to her friend on the phone. She was in 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.920 the car, friend was on speaker and she's like, I'm late. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:18.120 I have to go here, and I have to go there. 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.320 And she said, Marie, where are you going? But he goes, 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:22.440 I'm going to this place, and I'm going to that place, 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.720 and then I'm going to this place. And she said, Maria, 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:30.960 where are you going? And she realized she didn't know 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:36.400 where she was going. She was, you know, just going 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:41.680 fast to nowhere. So anyway, this is a long way 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.440 of saying, slow down, summer, and let's slow it all down. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:51.840 Which brings me to my next guest. Okay, she's got 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:56.640 a three namer, Jody Turner Smith. So Jody is such 0:04:56.680 --> 0:05:02.360 a fascinating person. Okay. She is from Jamaica. Originally, her 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:06.480 mom's from Jamaica. She was born in England and she 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.880 lived there for ten years then she moved to the States. 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.760 This is a person who has such crazy tenacity, such 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:18.120 a student and became an actress. I mean, you probably 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:22.200 know her from the Agency, which is an incredible series 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:28.040 where she is like fantastic in this series. You might 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:30.280 know her from some of her earlier work, which is 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:34.480 Queen and Slim. She's played Anne Boleyn And for those 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.200 of you who are Swifties, she happens to have been 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.800 in a Taylor Swift video. What's fascinating about her is 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:47.240 how she defines joy and how she defines success. Everyone's 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.680 kind of got their own trip when it comes to 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.080 those kinds of things. Sometimes she needs more and more 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:55.600 and more and more, and maybe you're still not joyful. Well, 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:57.760 I think Jody has sort of cracked that nut. She 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:01.840 understands where her sweets are is. She's got a six 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:06.680 year old daughter, she's acting, and she's living this very 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:10.440 joyful and wonderful life. And she sprinkles her interview with 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:14.839 beautiful life lessons. So I hope you enjoy my conversation 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:26.880 with actress Jody Turner Smith. Oh wait a minute, glam 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:30.559 has hit the zoom listen. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:32.279 I did my own glam today. 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.720 Oh you did not That's impossible. I did what's the 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.480 wand I want to know what wand was used for 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.520 that that hair because that took work. 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:44.599 Listen, listen. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.360 You know what I've been so getting into is doing 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.760 those little soft rollers at night. 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.360 Come on, you know the ones that like of course 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:55.680 it's like old school. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.400 Is everything, and last night too is my I was 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:01.159 like this big. 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:04.800 Oh please, you know it reverts when with any kind 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:08.520 of moisture outside, and it was like so big, and 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.320 I was like, I remember, it was like it was 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.040 like eleven o'clock last night and I was outside and 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:14.680 I was like, why didn't I put on like a 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:16.560 bonnet or something. My hair is going to be so 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.200 missed up. I have to do it myself tomorrow. And 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:20.600 then before I went to bed, I was like, you 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.880 know what, I was eyeing those furlos and I was like, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:24.520 let me just. 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:27.400 Okay, well this is I think you need to do 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.600 something on that, because if this is the result of that. Man. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.200 By the way, I always say like I have weather 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.600 sensitive hair. Every time I step out in the rain, 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.000 it's like I feel like there's incoming fire. I'm like, 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:40.720 my kids know I have a seven year old and 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.520 a nine year old when it starts raining, they're like, 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:47.400 let's go. They understand that we got trouble when it's raining. 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.320 Okay, I know, you know what I I've always been 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:53.360 like just shorthair gully, and so it's like for me, 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:57.080 I'm like, oh gosh, you know this just having to be. 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.920 Cognizant of sensitive to the weather. It's like a new thing. 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:04.240 Yes, but. 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:07.760 I'm adapted. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.800 Well, okay, it's all making sense now. In high school, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.520 you were most likely to succeed. I understand from this 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:18.160 brief interaction that, of course that's what they voted because 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.360 of course that's what you were. What were you like 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:22.320 in high school? 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:26.120 By the way, you know, I was your classic overachieva. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.080 You know, I have an atype personality, so you know, 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:33.000 I'm that one who's like and I'm a Vago too, 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.000 and you know that. I always see these memes like 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:38.280 Virgo is like if you have Virgo in the group, 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:41.040 project Virgo may just be like, you know what, you guys, 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:42.000 you leave it. 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.400 I'm just gonna do this because if you want something done, 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.240 you got to do it yourself, Okay. 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.400 Definitely wanting to be in control of results. So I'm 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:56.079 very much like I was always the person who is 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:59.400 just like I gotta do it all I gotta. But 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:03.120 then you know what, I was also a very big procrastinator, 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:05.640 even if you I was a procrastinator. 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:09.280 Yeah, okay, just before I got in here, since you 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:10.640 said virgo, I just have to stop you for a 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:13.280 second because I decided that I was going to put 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:17.880 your birthdate into the big virgo situation, and this is 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:19.640 going to describe you and tell me if I'm right. 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:24.240 This is your birthday, your date, and your year. Okay. 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:29.680 Positive traits Thoughtful and observant. They always notice details at 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:33.160 others smiths. They tend to be perceptive and good listeners. Dependable. 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.880 People born on this day often take commitments seriously. If 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:39.640 they say no to something, they usually don't do it. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:42.560 If they say yes, they'll do it. Intelligent and curious, 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:46.199 ruled by mercury. They enjoy learning, asking questions, and improving 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:51.079 themselves caring through actions. They may not always be gushy, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:55.800 but they show love by helping, fixing, organizing, and remembering things. 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.319 High standards this is so you wait. They strive for 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:03.200 excellence often inspire others to do better, not because they're flashy, 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:08.480 but because they are quietly disciplined strong intuition. Virgos are 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:12.120 known for their logic, but September seventh birthdays often have 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.839 an emotional, intelligent and intuition that helps them read people, 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:19.679 and they are loyal beyond belief. Am I hitting you right? 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:20.599 You know what? 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.080 It's so crazy because it's like as much as people 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.880 want to say, like, oh, you know astrology, I don't 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:29.120 believe in that, but I don't know if it's like 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.920 the older that I get, the more that I'm just like, yeah, 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:33.719 this is spot on. 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.720 But everything that you just said. 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:40.640 Okay, let's wait, okay, hold on, challenges girl, Sorry, there's 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:44.560 this side of the coin. Are we ready ready? Perfectionism, 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:48.400 Their gift for noticing details, can become a burden. Sometimes 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:52.000 they may set impossibly high standards for themselves and others, 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:58.119 overthinking September seventh Virgos can replay conversations, analyze situations endlessly, 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:02.720 and have difficulty turning off their minds. All right, self criticism, 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.920 I hope this isn't right. They often extend grace to others, 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:11.040 but can be remarkably hard on themselves, difficulty receiving help. 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:14.959 They like being capable the capable one, and they struggle 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:19.640 to be vulnerable, and they worry. They anticipate problems so well, 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.160 they can spend too much time preparing for things that 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:27.079 sometimes never happen. It's true, it's all your things. So 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.760 is this you okay? So this girl who we just 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:35.000 described was voted most likely to succeed, is now this 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:41.559 successful actress has had this incredible life in between? What 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.720 is the secret? Because I my parents are from Egypt, 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.120 so often when I was in a classroom in Morgantown, 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.800 West Virginia, I was the one with the funny name. 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:52.959 I was the one with the crazy hair. I was 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.160 the one, and so I was constantly trying to fit 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:59.520 in everywhere in all these spaces. Were you one who 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.880 tried to fit in? Or were you somebody who kind 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:03.959 of wanted to stand out? 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.480 As a kid, It's so like, all you want to 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:09.000 do is fit in, Do you know what I mean? 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.800 You don't want to be the person who's on the outside. 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:13.080 You know, you crave. 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.920 Belonging, and as humans, you cred that it never goes away. 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.520 So I mean, I definitely think that I did try 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.800 to fit in in so many ways. But I also 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:27.599 what I did was I relied on my intelligence to 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:29.520 sort of filling the gaps for the places that I 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.600 didn't fit in. So it's like I made myself unquestionable 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.960 by being the smartest, by being the most on top 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:39.079 of it, by being the best, by being the you know, 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.120 like that way, It's like if there were bits that 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.640 people wanted to criticize, they couldn't. I'm like, I was 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.800 like trying to close all the gaps of anybody trying 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:51.360 to criticize me by just like being the best, being 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.760 the smartest, being in charge. That's why I was always 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:58.280 wanting to be like the captain, the leader, the president, 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:00.800 you know what I mean, in some way in a 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.120 position of authority. 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.719 Oh okay, God, I'm learning. You're so fun to get 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.400 to know. I like all of this. Okay, So you're 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:13.199 born in the UK. What was that ten years? What 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:15.080 were those ten years? If you were to not shell 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:16.640 them in a couple of lines, what was that? 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:16.880 Like? 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.560 I mean, you know, I feel like I definitely very 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:25.800 naive for sure. I don't think I really had an 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:32.280 awareness of some of the different and varied experiences of 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:36.040 the world because also I was from a small town, 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.920 you know, a little village outside of Petersborough called Coats. 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:46.120 I remember always, you know, it was a very simple life. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.240 I lived right around the corner from my primary school, 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.280 you know, like I could just walk there in two 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.680 minutes and then, like you know, we've had me say before, 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.160 like you know, we were the only black family our 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:05.679 village and black children at our school. So you know, 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:09.480 for me, there was always like a longing for a 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:13.200 black community that was like outside of just. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.400 Like my family helps you. A little girl, by the way, 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:20.360 she's so good. She's what is she six? 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:21.760 She's six? Now? 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:22.840 Is she bossy? 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:29.040 Is she bossy? Is water wet? And she says, I'm bossy? 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:30.640 Do you know what It's like? Here's the thing. 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:34.160 Okay, So because I guess I am bossy, and so 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.360 is my mother who is living us and helping me 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:41.480 raise my daughter. So she's got these two bossy, fiery 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:46.240 women who are looking after her, and she is just 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.160 like the amalgamation. 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:52.400 Of woves energies. Wow, it's open again. 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.040 I'm always referring to her meme again. But I remember 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.120 one time to see this meme and it was like me, 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:01.280 me trying to cut my daughter out for having the 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:02.560 same attitude. 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:05.080 That I have. That's hilarious. 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.520 Do you want to get mad at them? But it's 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.800 like she's literally just cause my same attitude. 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:14.720 It's like I love it. 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.120 I love it, you know, And it's like, but you know, 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:17.480 I don't. 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.720 I really don't get mad at it because I'm just like, 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:23.560 you know, it's my job to you know, to nurture 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:24.640 and guide that energy. 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:27.640 But I also I want to flourish, you know what 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:27.920 I mean? 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.440 I want to do You're so right? What's harder being 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:34.840 an actor and doing all the things that acting as 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:36.040 you do or being a mom. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:43.840 Of course, first of all, just even the entrance into 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:48.160 motherhood is like not for the faint of heart, you 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:49.240 know what I mean, It's like. 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.560 You literally become a whole new person. Yeah, you know 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:52.920 what I mean. 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.640 I I lean on what I've learned in motherhood from 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:58.880 my work, and it's made me stronger. It makes me 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:02.160 strong being a stronger as an artist, do you know 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:05.360 what i mean? Like the motherhood informs it all. And 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.000 then also it's like, you know, there's just no heartache 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.640 and disappointment like the ones that you experience in motherhood, 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:17.360 Like it is so hard to be split between what 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.800 you want to do for and with your children and 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:22.760 having you got like you know what I mean, It's 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:23.640 like how do I even. 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:27.400 Leave the house sometimes? I don't know. It takes such strength, 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:28.640 do you know what I mean? 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:33.200 But it's also just like beyond that as a physical process, 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.320 there's emotional processes, a spiritual process. 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:36.720 It's like there's nothing. 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:38.920 All of it. I like it all right, I'm going 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.200 to take you back again. So you're you're in the UK. 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.240 You were describing your life there and then your parents split. 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.840 Your Mom's like, we're going to Maryland. Okay, So Maryland 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:52.760 is the opposite of the UK. So what was again 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.080 another repotting pulling you up by the roots? You're dangling 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.160 in the air or where we go on, mom and 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.120 you land in the soil there? What did how did 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.040 you land in that? How did that feel? 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:06.200 Obviously big culture shark, I mean. 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.000 A level of diversity at least in the community that 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:15.399 I was in that I hadn't experienced yet. But it 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.119 was like super mixed that I was in Gaithersburg. It 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.320 wasn't like, you know, I wasn't like in DC or 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.639 something where it felt like predominantly black, But. 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.119 It was like way more Black people than I. 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:26.000 What did that feel like? 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.080 I mean, you know, it's only as it was exciting, 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:33.200 and then it was like a freaking lesson in life. 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.520 I mean, you know, the Black experience in America is 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:40.560 so unique and the way that it has shaped the 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.560 country and the people. You know, I have so much 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:49.600 respect for the Black American community because to survive and 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:54.240 thrive under such circumstances. And not to say that black 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:58.920 peopleople aren't oppressed worldwide and the anti blacknessesn't exist worldwide, 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.439 but I just think so interesting in America, where they 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:06.520 don't have like a cultural touch point right of which 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.760 they're in the majority, that they can sort of have 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.600 ownership of their living in a country that they built 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:19.520 that is also denying them any ownership to that or 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:20.600 any belonging to that. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.159 And you know, all of the systems are. 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.600 In try, all the systems are created so as to 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.000 not let them be able to succeed, and it's just 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:37.440 like it's so insane that yet and still so influential, 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:44.000 so beautiful, so powerful and managing to thrive and survive, 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.760 you know. So it was definitely, you know, it's it 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:51.840 was definitely was It was heartbreaking it was. It was overwhelming, 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:57.240 it was exciting. You know, it was a lesson, a 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:58.120 lesson in black. 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.520 I mean, you are so all. You speak your heart. 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:05.080 You're a straight shooter. You don't try to mince words. 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:07.200 You say exactly what's on your heart, which is such 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:11.760 an awesome trait. And with that kind of trait, when 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:13.960 you were thinking about what you wanted to do with 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:18.119 your life, what was the first kind of career choice 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:18.879 that came to you. 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:20.920 I mean I was thought I was going to be 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:21.320 a lawyer. 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:23.840 Ah, that makes sense. Yeah. 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:26.679 Also, because my mom loves to tell the story whenever 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:28.800 I would like, if my mom told me no for something, 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:34.600 I would literally come back with like a dissertation of 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:37.400 the reasons of why I was going to put together 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.639 a convincing argument. And I mean this extended all the 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.040 way through my schooling. Like my teachers used to call 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.239 home to be like, can you please speak to your 0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:49.399 daughter about why it's okay for her to receive X Y. 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.080 I said grade, because I'm like, if somebody gave me 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:53.400 a grade that I didn't think that was the grade 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.920 that I had earned, You're gonna have to do I'm 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:58.800 gonna have to debate the book about why this is 0:19:59.000 --> 0:19:59.959 the grade that I should get. 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.840 Okay, did your mom encourage your behavior? Did she try 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:06.640 to say, honey, you got to listen to the teacher. Oh, yeah, 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:08.240 that's why you're believed in me. 0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:09.359 And she trusted in the wagon. 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:12.360 She knew listen. She She's like, I've known her from 0:20:12.400 --> 0:20:14.359 the womb. I already know this girl. She's coming with 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:18.120 this dissertation. That's why she deserved that grade. She deserved 0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:18.600 that grade. 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:21.080 So you're it's a law school, you're thinking about being 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:25.240 a lawyer, and then you obviously didn't go down that path. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:29.199 What what took you on another path? Why why did 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:32.280 you end up in this industry? Well? 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:34.400 A multitude of reasons in a way. 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.440 Right, It's like there's so many I think sliding doors 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:40.919 moments in everyone's life that lead them to something. 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:41.320 Right. 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:45.119 So the first thing was, you know, so when I 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:46.400 went I thought it was going to be a lawyer. 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:49.920 And obviously my intention was to be a way that 0:20:50.040 --> 0:20:52.080 makes a lot of money. But I think all layers 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:55.119 make a lot of money. Personally, I've paid lawyers a 0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:58.600 lot of money. But so I was like, I'm going 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:00.800 to be a corporate lawyer and so I went to 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:05.520 university and studied finance with an English Lit minor, and 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.840 I just I hated it, and I think it was 0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:12.000 also it was just more than just that, Like you know, 0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:15.320 it was I had had, you know, at the school 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:16.080 that I wanted to go to. 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:19.040 We couldn't afford to send me there, and I was 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:20.840 carrying that heartbreak. 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:23.040 And I just was like, you know, and I didn't 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:26.280 really love like where I was, And you know, I 0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:30.840 was also going through my own just changes, seasonal changes 0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:34.120 of like coming to terms with who I was as 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:37.320 a person and who I belt about that and who 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:40.920 I wanted to be like as a human being, and 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:43.680 how I sort of felt that I had been. I 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:46.280 had spent all my years since I came to America 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:52.680 sort of performing for people in order to survive being 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:55.760 what was expected of me or what I needed to 0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:58.720 be in order to not be questioned or teased or 0:22:00.200 --> 0:22:04.080 an outcast. And I by the time I got to university, 0:22:04.160 --> 0:22:07.400