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Speaker 1: Hey, Professional Home Girls. Before we begin this week's episode,

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Speaker 1: p h G podcast dot com. Alright, guys, let's begin

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Speaker 1: this week's episode later. Welcome, Come, you are now listening

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Speaker 1: to mhon Hey, guys, welcome to this week's episode of

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Speaker 1: the PhD Podcast. It's your girl Ebaname and I am

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Speaker 1: super excited about this week's episode. Before we begin to

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Speaker 1: do a little housekeeping, please make sure to follow me

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at the Professional Home Girl, at the PSD Podcast,

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Speaker 1: and last not least at Ebane Beauty. Please make sure

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Speaker 1: to follow me on Twitter at the PhD Underscore, and

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Speaker 1: last not least. You have any questions, comments, like concerns,

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Speaker 1: or you want to get to know more about my guests,

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Speaker 1: please make sure to email me at Hello at the

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Speaker 1: PhD podcast dot com. Now, please keep in mind that

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Speaker 1: all of my guests are anonymous. So let's begin this

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Speaker 1: week's episode. So to my guests, how you feeling. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing great? Thank you. I know this episode maybe a

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Speaker 1: little triggering for some, but I feel like your story

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Speaker 1: is gonna really inspire a lot of people to open

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Speaker 1: up more about their own stories. Right, So before we

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Speaker 1: begin with your story, I want to start with the

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Speaker 1: happy times during your childhood. What were some of those moments, Like,

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Speaker 1: what happy times that I can remember. I was um

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Speaker 1: born here in Atlanta, Georgia, and I was raised by

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Speaker 1: a sixty or parents and she also had help with

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Speaker 1: my grandmother and my aunts and my you know, great grandparents.

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Speaker 1: So the happiest times that I can remember is when

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Speaker 1: my sixte year old mother had took us to Alabama,

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Speaker 1: UM to live with our grandma and grandpa, so, you know,

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Speaker 1: so she can go back to school. And they pretty

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Speaker 1: much did everything for us. We went fishing, we had

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Speaker 1: big wheels. Um, we just didn't want for nothing, even

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Speaker 1: though sometimes I didn't want to go to church all

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Speaker 1: the time because my great grandmother was a part of

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Speaker 1: the church um. But other than that, those was only

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Speaker 1: exciting times with my grandma and my my great grandma

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Speaker 1: and my great grandpa. That's the only good memories I

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Speaker 1: have as my childhood, to be really honest. So I

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Speaker 1: know you were staying with your grandparents and your mom

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Speaker 1: came back for you and your brother. Yes, she came

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Speaker 1: back when she got a little older. She might have

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Speaker 1: been like nineteen and that's still young. Yeah, yeah, it was.

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Speaker 1: And at that time, it when we were in Alabama,

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Speaker 1: we didn't know we had two other siblings until she

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Speaker 1: came and got us with the person that was hurting

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Speaker 1: us as kids, we didn't know. And you were him

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Speaker 1: as a monster, yes, always as a little girl, and

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Speaker 1: even still to this day as an adult. I just

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Speaker 1: feel like he was a monster, right, I mean he

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Speaker 1: was definitely a monster. So y'all moving together, and you

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Speaker 1: know some things between him and your mom. What were

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Speaker 1: those things? Yeah? Once she got us from Alabama, we

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Speaker 1: came back to our hometown, which is Atlanta, and we

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Speaker 1: just started noticing the different behavior, like he was like

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Speaker 1: hitting her. How old was he he? Okay, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say. He was born in nineteen nineteen forty seven.

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Speaker 1: She was born in nineteen seventy. Yes, oh my god, yes,

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Speaker 1: when he met my mom. First of all, I learned

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Speaker 1: that he was basically praying on my mom. My mom

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Speaker 1: used to go into a store than him and his

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Speaker 1: white head in Atlanta, Georgia and his wife. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: my mom as a kid, will go into that store

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Speaker 1: and bossed up, and he would watch her, and she

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Speaker 1: didn't know it, and then she just kept freakly going in.

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Speaker 1: And then one day he when she got up a

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Speaker 1: little bit older, not too much older. When she got

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Speaker 1: to be like eight seventeen, is when he pursued her.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So y'all when y'all moved in with him,

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Speaker 1: how old were you at that time? I was in

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Speaker 1: I was in kindergarten when I met five. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: met him. I was in kindergarten, and he showed his

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Speaker 1: true colors. Then he was whipping us with extinction cords.

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Speaker 1: He was slapping her side, He was whipping us with

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Speaker 1: extinction cords. He was hitting on her. He one day

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Speaker 1: he tried to drown her in front of us. We

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Speaker 1: were like super and when we was your like, where's

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Speaker 1: your we're your grandparents? A where I know they wasn't

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Speaker 1: near ye at the time, because you'll moved. But like,

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Speaker 1: did anybody know anything that was going on before? Yes,

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Speaker 1: it did. My grandmother never noticed it. Like one year, Um,

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Speaker 1: she lied my mom lied about somebody robbing the house

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Speaker 1: because he ended up busting my mom in the face

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Speaker 1: with a coffee pot and broke her jaw and she

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Speaker 1: had to get her mouth wire. So she lied to

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Speaker 1: my grandmother into the neighborhood that the house was robbed,

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Speaker 1: so they sued the company. They sued the neighborhood m

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Speaker 1: and that's when my grandmother noticed the behavior then. And

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Speaker 1: it's just after while my mom we had stopped coming

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Speaker 1: around my aunt and my grandmother because it got that bad.

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Speaker 1: So I know, things to the term for a worst

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Speaker 1: and then y'all was homeless for a second. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: actually started. Um. We eventually moved from Atlanta, Georgia, and

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Speaker 1: he moved us to Washington, d C. Wait was he

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Speaker 1: still married? Honestly? I think so? And uh And it's

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Speaker 1: funny that you say that because I remember an episode

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Speaker 1: one day one year before we left Atlanta, Georgia, and

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Speaker 1: we went to his wife house and and it went up.

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Speaker 1: Nigga is trying that it was ugly. I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: that they wanted to attack my mom, like to fight her.

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Speaker 1: And I remember him picking up this black and red

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Speaker 1: phone and busting the lady in her face in front

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Speaker 1: of us, and we were like our face hit the

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Speaker 1: floor because we was like what is going As a child,

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Speaker 1: what were you thinking at that time? Because I know

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Speaker 1: I experienced and my mom getting beat up when she

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Speaker 1: umhen we was younger and actually be like like this

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Speaker 1: can't be for real, Like this is crazy. We were

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Speaker 1: scared because we never had that. My mom, my grandparents,

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Speaker 1: my grandma and my grand grandpa, they didn't fighting argue,

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Speaker 1: and if they did, we never seen it. We never

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Speaker 1: seen it. We never heard it. We never seen this

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Speaker 1: man left the hand. So when we started seeing it,

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Speaker 1: we were like what is going on? We wanted to

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Speaker 1: go back to our safe I say space, which was

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Speaker 1: our grabbed grandparre grandparents, and she just he denied it.

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Speaker 1: She didn't say anything. He denied it. He was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going back there. You y'all here with You're

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Speaker 1: here with me, this is forever, like huh. And we're

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Speaker 1: looking at our mom like uh, it's like is this

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Speaker 1: a real? Like we're in the movie is is we're

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Speaker 1: pretending like we didn't know, and we were crying because

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Speaker 1: we wanted our safe spot and which was our great grandparents,

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Speaker 1: and he refused it. He refused it. And how many

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Speaker 1: kids were at this time, So it was my oldest brother,

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Speaker 1: me my little brother. And then they had a daughter together.

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Speaker 1: At this time in Atlanta, Georgia, she had four kids

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Speaker 1: and she was about one. She had been in her

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Speaker 1: twenties and she had four kids. Yeah, so after this,

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Speaker 1: I know that you said that he tried to touch

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Speaker 1: you in one night and the next day because at

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Speaker 1: that night he was crying. Next day he just had

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Speaker 1: like nothing happened. Right when we moved, when we finally

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Speaker 1: left from Atlanta, Georgia, we went to Washington, d C.

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Speaker 1: And he started acting weird. It was everything was okay,

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Speaker 1: but then they started a little hit, you know, they

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Speaker 1: hit the arguments and whatnot. And then I remember in

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Speaker 1: first and uh, I think it was first grade, he

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Speaker 1: had pulled out a gun on her, bust her in

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Speaker 1: the face with it, and I don't know what they

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Speaker 1: were arguing about, but all I know is he pulled

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Speaker 1: out and he dragged her back in the room. Because

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Speaker 1: we walked to school. This was our first year ever

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Speaker 1: walked into school. We always called a bus in Georgia.

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Speaker 1: So he dragged her back in the room and dragged

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Speaker 1: up on the wall and bust and kept it in

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Speaker 1: her face and then he dropped her down to the

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Speaker 1: dropped on the bed and he ran into the liber

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Speaker 1: room and he pointed the gun and me and my

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Speaker 1: present and he was like, you're gonna do what I

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Speaker 1: say or I'm gonna kill them and kill you. And

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Speaker 1: I we were like screaming and hollering because we was

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Speaker 1: like what is going on? We didn't understand it. And

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Speaker 1: she was like I'll do it. I'll do what I'll

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Speaker 1: do it. And after that day he started being weird

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Speaker 1: to me. He just started doing weird stuff like one

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Speaker 1: of one instance, he pretended like he whooped me. One

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Speaker 1: day he took me in the bathroom and he was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know your mom, you know we discussed this for

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Speaker 1: you to get a whopping. And I was like okay,

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Speaker 1: but I was confused with while I was getting a whooping,

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Speaker 1: and he started like hitting the tub and he told

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Speaker 1: me like a cry and screaming. I I was just like,

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Speaker 1: what is it? Was just weird. And like I said,

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Speaker 1: after that day when she said, I'll do what you want,

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Speaker 1: he started doing a little stuff like that. And then

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Speaker 1: eventually we moved from Washington, d C. And that's when

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Speaker 1: he started touching me in Maryland. Why was you looking

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Speaker 1: so much? Do you know why? I never understood that.

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Speaker 1: I don't I never. I don't know. I can honestly

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Speaker 1: tell you. I know. No. We moved a lot when

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Speaker 1: it came to being around him, so I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And when we were asked her why she did she

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Speaker 1: did she never She never talked, She never gave us.

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Speaker 1: She always said, you know, when somebody asked you something,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. Who did you look to me for answers?

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Speaker 1: And that's what she did. M And also when y'all

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Speaker 1: was moving, because y'all was still going to school like that,

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Speaker 1: any other teachers or anybody like picked up on certain

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Speaker 1: behaviors from y'all when in d C. When I went

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Speaker 1: to school in Washington, d C. And I have a

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Speaker 1: report card that goes back and said that she is

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Speaker 1: doing inappropriate behavior. Something's not right. Let's have a you know.

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Speaker 1: And she never went into like sit down and figure

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Speaker 1: out what inappropriate behavior that I was doing, and what

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Speaker 1: were you doing? Honestly, I can't tell you because I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I just happened to one day, you know,

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Speaker 1: as I got older, we moved and I was going

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Speaker 1: through my old report carts and I was showing my

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Speaker 1: oldest son and at the bottom said I was doing

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Speaker 1: inappropriate hand And I was like, what was I doing? Like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm in first grade now, Like what was

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Speaker 1: I doing? I don't know? And when I asked her,

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Speaker 1: she was just like, I don't know. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: something you're not telling me, But okay, right, I know.

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Speaker 1: There was another incident when you was young. I think

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Speaker 1: you were sitting the cosh playing a game with you

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Speaker 1: are one of your siblings, and he put his hands

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Speaker 1: in her shorts and you slapped his hand away. Sure did.

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Speaker 1: The day before that, he had came into the living room.

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Speaker 1: At this time, we were in the one bear room.

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Speaker 1: He was so when I heard the story, it literally

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Speaker 1: broke my heart, like he was so fucking disgusting it was.

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Speaker 1: And at this time, um, we moved to another so,

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Speaker 1: I mean first in another you know scoop for first grade,

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Speaker 1: and another court or whatever, and she's pregnant now with

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Speaker 1: her fifth child, which is their second daughter. And one

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Speaker 1: day I had on this little red and white nightgown

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Speaker 1: and I was laying we First of all, we lived

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Speaker 1: in a one bed of round apartment, so all the kids,

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Speaker 1: um being my brothers, we had to live in the

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Speaker 1: stay in the living room and the first door they

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Speaker 1: had together. She was yall, so she was in the

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Speaker 1: room with them, and he had came into the living

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Speaker 1: room and I felt this heaviness on my little leg.

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Speaker 1: Just's imagined being in the first grade and and something

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Speaker 1: heavy on you. And I kept moving and moving like

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Speaker 1: what is that? And when I went to move my

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Speaker 1: leg over, he had slapped my leg back, and so

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Speaker 1: that made me get up, like hold up. So he

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Speaker 1: was ducking down beside the pull out couch and he

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Speaker 1: hit his fingers inside of me, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing, Like like, no, that's inappropriate, don't

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Speaker 1: hold you. I was in the first grade, so I

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Speaker 1: had been like, yeah, oh my god, I'm going in yeah,

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Speaker 1: because my birthday is in February, y'all. I was going

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Speaker 1: on to yeah, February February. The oh that's awesome, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: And he had his fingers inside me, and it just

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Speaker 1: grossed me out and I could all I could do

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Speaker 1: was just sit there and cry. And then he had

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Speaker 1: put his hand over my mouth and he was like,

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Speaker 1: if you say something, I will kill you your mother

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Speaker 1: and your grandmother. Do you think that any of your

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Speaker 1: other siblers knew about this? I don't believe. So I

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Speaker 1: never told my oldest brother, even though he was being

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Speaker 1: abused in the house hold too. I just never Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was being abused me and my men and my

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Speaker 1: brother we won his kids, and we were being beaten

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Speaker 1: by him, but I never told my brother, you know,

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Speaker 1: the type of touching and stuff was going. I never

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Speaker 1: said anything. He would see the hitting, the slapping that

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Speaker 1: he was doing suff but I never come out and

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Speaker 1: told him. I just kept it to myself. And because

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Speaker 1: he told me he was gonna kill us, so and

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Speaker 1: I was just scared. Just imagine being scared in the

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Speaker 1: first grade here. And yeah, so I never said anything.

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Speaker 1: And then the very next day, I was playing with

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Speaker 1: my brother, my little brother, and we were behind the

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Speaker 1: couch and he went to come. He came out of

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Speaker 1: the room and he reached his hand in my shorts

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Speaker 1: and like you said, and I slapped his hand and

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Speaker 1: he gave me this look like you're gonna paid for it,

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Speaker 1: and I definitely did. And byre you paying for is

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Speaker 1: that when he cut you in between your breast with

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Speaker 1: the machete? No? He Um, he actually was like that night.

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Speaker 1: He would like punch me, like hitting me in the

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Speaker 1: head like a close fist bus man head. We will

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Speaker 1: punch him in my chest and I'm just like I'm

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Speaker 1: a girl. And then he would make up things to

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Speaker 1: my mom to say that's why he's disciplining me, and

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Speaker 1: I would look at her like I'm a girl. I

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Speaker 1: know him in first grade. I don't have any you know,

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Speaker 1: bluttle girl posts up there, But I'm a girl. You

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Speaker 1: can't do that, and she child, Yeah, So why did

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Speaker 1: he why did he cut you? I mean, I know

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Speaker 1: at this point we know he's sick, but like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna cut you between your chest? Like why would he

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Speaker 1: do that? Yeah? I remember being in the fourth grade

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Speaker 1: and I had my little training brought one and this

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00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,400
Speaker 1: time I didn't know if they were on drugs. I

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00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,160
Speaker 1: didn't know it. Um, he was smoking crack one day

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Speaker 1: and that year my mom. I love my mother deadly,

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Speaker 1: but by leaving my heart that she's prostituted because no,

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Speaker 1: no one worked. Even when I had to check the

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Speaker 1: pops in the fourth grade, they were both home, like

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Speaker 1: somebody can go to work today, but um, she will

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Speaker 1: always leave at night and then we won't see her

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Speaker 1: until the next morning. And this particular night, I was

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Speaker 1: sleeping in the room. This time we moved from and

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00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,600
Speaker 1: we was in the same complex, but we moved in

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Speaker 1: a more big of her place. So we had a

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Speaker 1: two beer and in the duplex, and I was in

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Speaker 1: the room sleep with his daughters, and he came in

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Speaker 1: the room and he was like he had on tidy whitey's,

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Speaker 1: like he had no clothes on, and I just seen

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Speaker 1: his tidy white and he was trying to get me

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Speaker 1: to put my mouth on his priority and I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: do it, like that's inappropriate, like I am in the

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Speaker 1: fourth grade, and he didn't care. So he yanked me

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Speaker 1: up out of that bed that night and he came

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Speaker 1: in the live room. He sat on the couch, and

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Speaker 1: my brothers in the then, so we came and he

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00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,520
Speaker 1: was trying to force me to put his and I

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00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,960
Speaker 1: was like no, like no, pushing him and trying to

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Speaker 1: fight him, and all of a sudden somebody came knocking

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Speaker 1: at the door, and the whole time it was my mom,

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00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,720
Speaker 1: and he refused to let her in. M He dragged

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00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 1: me into the room on the coppe. I had copper

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00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,440
Speaker 1: burns on me so bad. He dragged me into the

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Speaker 1: room that night and he yanked up again the wall

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Speaker 1: and he was like, I've already got permissioned to do

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Speaker 1: what I want to do. And you heard what I said.

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Speaker 1: So then he took the knife out and and just

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Speaker 1: imagine again at four in the fourth grade, and I'm

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Speaker 1: shaking and tremorling, and I'm like I know in my head,

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Speaker 1: I know this is wrong, and like what do I do?

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Speaker 1: So um, then he let me stay right there. He

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00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: turned around and he grabbed his crack pipe and he

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00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 1: lit the crack pipe and he was like smoking, huh huh.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, no, he took that knife and

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Speaker 1: slipped me right between my breast in the fourth grade.

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Speaker 1: He's sure, oh my god, the hospital. No, he didn't

321
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Speaker 1: let me do anything. He let me sit right there

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Speaker 1: and leave. M Hm, how do you how do you

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Speaker 1: feel when you tell me? When you tell your story

324
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 1: and it brings like so many memories, and it it

325
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 1: hurts just to hear it out loud when I share

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Speaker 1: with other people. I know, you know, me sharing it,

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00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 1: I want to help heal other people, but just hearing

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Speaker 1: them out loud, it bothers me. It takes me back

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00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 1: to when I was a kid. Yeah, because you you

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Speaker 1: remember saying so vividly, like it's like it's like it's

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Speaker 1: replaying in your mind as you're telling it. Yes, it does.

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Speaker 1: Somebody asked me that to it one day and I was, like,

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00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,080
Speaker 1: it does, and it even though I know I sit

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00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 1: and my body is big, my mind, I'm still that

335
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 1: little girl. And each phase of that time when he

336
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 1: hurt me, what he did, I'm right there. M But

337
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 1: so I know your mom went to jail. Yes, my

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00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: mom went to jail when I was in the sixth

339
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 1: grade because she was messing around with checks and at

340
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 1: this time she was yeah, yeah, she was fraught and checks,

341
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: and I think she was on drugs. I know she

342
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 1: was on drug because at that time our house was

343
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,440
Speaker 1: the crack house and at this time she got six

344
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 1: kids and our house was the crack house, and she

345
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,679
Speaker 1: was with some ladies and then whatever. I don't know

346
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 1: if they lived in the neighborhood, but we had moved

347
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 1: from one compact for another one. I'm assuming we had

348
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 1: got put out. So we moved in the next neighborhood

349
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,680
Speaker 1: that was across the street for my old neighborhood. And

350
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,200
Speaker 1: her and some ladies went to the ah, I think

351
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 1: a check cashing place, and she ended up falling asleep

352
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 1: and they left her and she was caught because I

353
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: guess she was so hied up. She had fell asleep

354
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,160
Speaker 1: and they called her. And she had called one day

355
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,439
Speaker 1: to the neighbor next door who they smoke crack with him.

356
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 1: He had came over that day and told him to

357
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 1: come over to the phone, and when he came over

358
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 1: to the phone, he had came back into the house

359
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 1: and he had told her. My whole life fell apart

360
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 1: right there that day. I cried. I went into the bathroom.

361
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 1: I cried, and I was just like, how can she

362
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 1: leave me in here with him? Like like how Like

363
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 1: now it's going to get worse? And it did, it did,

364
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 1: It got even worse it because he raped you. Yeah,

365
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 1: he started treating me like I was an adult. I mean,

366
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Speaker 1: even though he started it way beginning, but this time

367
00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: he took it to another level, um where he would

368
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: like trick me. He was doing that and the beginning tricking,

369
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 1: you know, do play tricks on me and my brother

370
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 1: just to hit us. But like we'll be outside and

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00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 1: he'd be like, oh, the baby woke, and I come

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00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 1: in the house to get her she sleeps, and he'll

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00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 1: be standing like behind the door and as soon as

374
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 1: I come in, he'll grabbed me up and he'll walk

375
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 1: the door and he'll grab me up and then he'll

376
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 1: you know, make me do sexual acts on him. And

377
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 1: if I didn't, he would like slap me and then

378
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,199
Speaker 1: he um. I remember one time he ejaculated on me,

379
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 1: on me and it'sith grade and in my mouth. He

380
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 1: would slap on me. He was slapping in my face

381
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:38,919
Speaker 1: and beat on me and he would actually peel me

382
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: and then um, he would make me. He would do

383
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 1: also in my mouth and whatever and I'll spit it out.

384
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 1: He would like like push my mouth together and he

385
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: ch like. So at this point, was anybody else around

386
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 1: that you could have told or they could have like

387
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: that noticed anything that was going on, because even if

388
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,120
Speaker 1: you was scared, I know, somebody knew something was off

389
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 1: at this time, at this time in the sixth grade.

390
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 1: It was somebody did I noticed One year he was

391
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: hitting my friend and she went and confided to one

392
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: of my other friends that lived in the building. And

393
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 1: one day she blurted it out on the bus and

394
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: I was so embarrassed. I witnessed him hitting my friend

395
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 1: one day she came over, so I didn't know, and

396
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 1: she never told me. One day, like we had went

397
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: to in Maryland, we don't have groceries some of the

398
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 1: grocery stores like they have in Georgia, like one of

399
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: the grocery stores called Shoppers and Giants. And one day

400
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 1: we was at Giant and she was in the car

401
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, come on, you, you you know you're

402
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 1: gonna store with me again? And he said, oh no,

403
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: she don't have to go on the store. She could

404
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: wait right here. How do you think they was messing

405
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: with each other? I believe so, because if he was

406
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 1: messing with me as a kid, and then he was

407
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,359
Speaker 1: messing with my mom as a kid, what makes you

408
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: think you know? That's what I was thinking. And I

409
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 1: remember him hitting her in the car and I was

410
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: like frozen. I dropped the bag and all he was like,

411
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: come to what are you doing? And I'm like frozen,

412
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: like I just witnessed you, this little girl, like and

413
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: she never said nothing. And when I wanted to talk

414
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: to her that day about it, she had ran in

415
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: the house and when I came to knock on the door,

416
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: she went open, you know, she didn't want to be bothered.

417
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 1: And then another time I called him hitting on her.

418
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: Is when we um, what year was it? Um? It

419
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: was he was in the house and he kept he

420
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 1: came back and and um, she came to the house

421
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 1: and asked me if I wanted to spend the night,

422
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 1: and he told me I had to take his other daughters.

423
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: And I said okay, And I had came around the

424
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 1: he had came around them. What is it called? I

425
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: came around the corner and I've seen him in the

426
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: living room and he was punching her. And when I

427
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 1: seen that, I was like, never mind, and I told

428
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: her like I told her I didn't want to go,

429
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: and I told her to like leave, and then he

430
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 1: was like, no, you can still go, and I was like, no,

431
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 1: I'm okay. And that very next day, that that Monday

432
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 1: of school, is when the girl at my lived in

433
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: my building blurted out that he was hitting her. And

434
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 1: I went to school that day and I told I

435
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 1: had her mom was bested with a younger dude at

436
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 1: the time, and I guess her mom was focused on that.

437
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't think she ever said anything

438
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 1: to her mom. She didn't say anything to anyone but

439
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 1: that one person, that young girl. So I was just like,

440
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: I didn't understand why she didn't come and tell me.

441
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 1: But that day, on that Monday, is the day I

442
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 1: told what was going on. I had to because I

443
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: had to save her. I don't have to save myself

444
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 1: and my brother, but I also had to had had

445
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 1: to save her because it's like, why are you hitting her?

446
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: You don't even know her, Like why are you hitting

447
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 1: on somebody else's child? Why are you just hitting on children? Period?

448
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: Even then, she doth must have been the life that

449
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: she he must have lived when he was a kid.

450
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 1: It had to that your mom know everything. Now. My

451
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: mom is so much she denied you still to this day.

452
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, Like she didn't want to hear it then,

453
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 1: because when I tried to tell her then, she didn't

454
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: want to hear it then. And she will always say

455
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: little things like Oh, that didn't happen. You know, you

456
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: need to stop making us stuff. And then it was like,

457
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: why does she think you're lying about that? I don't understand.

458
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: I just feel like she's in denial. And I didn't

459
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: understand that either. And I remember as an adult one year,

460
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 1: she had told one of his daughters, UM, that I

461
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: made that up because I wanted to live with my

462
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: eye and my grandmother. That's not true, because he confess

463
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 1: it to one of his daughters, which is his little daughter.

464
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: He was doing that to me. He told my sister

465
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: that we were in a relationship like he and my

466
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: mom was how sick is that? What? Yes? He did? So,

467
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: so what does your relationship like with your mom now?

468
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 1: And how does that make you feel? Knowing that she

469
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: doesn't believe either? Um? For a long time, it hurt it.

470
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: It bothered me UM so bad. I remember being sixteen

471
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: years old and I almost had a stroke because because

472
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 1: I was that angry, because I was that mad, I

473
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 1: was that hurt because I'm like, I'm your child, like

474
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 1: you supposed to be there to me. My mom is

475
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: a protector, she's a shield, she's everything, she's your boy,

476
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: and she was none of those things to me, she

477
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: was none of those things, and I could never understand why. Um,

478
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: the relationship we don't have we have. We we started

479
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: building a relationship last year because I got pregnant with

480
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,399
Speaker 1: my third son and I was six, so bad and

481
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 1: we we we just eventually started last year. UM was

482
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: my thirty three, thirty two years old. That when she

483
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: we started relationship, UM, she admitted to me that she

484
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: had done wrong. And you know she doesn't she doesn't.

485
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 1: She didn't know everything, but as far as like going

486
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 1: to details about stuff, she won't do it. She So,

487
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 1: how has it been? So? I know you have three

488
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: kids now right? Yes, I have three sons, three sons.

489
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: How has it been dating? Like? How? How how do

490
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: you feel towards men? Because I can only feel like

491
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: your trust women has been broken in a sense. Well

492
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: and then beg you know, I'll be honest with you.

493
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 1: I couldn't stand boys. I couldn't even stand the look

494
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: of my brothers, Um. I lived in I went to

495
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: Foster Home for a little while suit and when I

496
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: came back, I couldn't even look at my brothers. I

497
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: couldn't even I didn't want to be around them. So

498
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: I basically shut everybody out, and boys to me were

499
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: like enemies. I just wanted to fight because I had

500
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 1: that much rage emmy and UM. Eventually I started going

501
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: to UM my social working and put me in this group,

502
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: this UM counseling group session and which I didn't pay

503
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: no attention to it. In the beginning. I ain't gonna

504
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 1: lie to you. I wasn't interrusting. I didn't want to

505
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: hear nothing. I don't want to hear nothing about nobody's story.

506
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: I didn't want to share my hurt. I just wanted

507
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 1: to keep my hurt into within myself. UM. But eventually,

508
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: you know, I started looking at boys, and you know,

509
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 1: at first not that type away. It's like okay, cute,

510
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: okay whatever. Um. I never dated anybody, and so I

511
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: got a little older, and when I had my first child,

512
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: when I really started Damn. I still had that hurt

513
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: and ain't get pain inside of me. But I allowed

514
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: my oldest son father, you know, to end. UM. I

515
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: still wasn't healed. Eventually I got married. All you got

516
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: married at the age of twenty five, and I still

517
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: had trouble issues there. I still had I still had issues.

518
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: I didn't get him with all before I even got married. Um,

519
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: I didn't allow him into my world because I didn't

520
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 1: know how to child. Let's take a little breather. This

521
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 1: episode is sponsored by Ebana Beauty, a place where you

522
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: can enhance your natural beauty use coal. At the end

523
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524
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525
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526
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527
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528
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: I can see you guys in them, so please make

529
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: sure you used to cold once again. P h G.

530
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: Ten at www dot a beauty dot com. Now let's

531
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: get back to this week's episode. Mary no I met

532
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: him at twin five. I got married maybe like a

533
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: year after that, Um, maybe a year and a half

534
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: after that. And I didn't know how to let him

535
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: into my life. I didn't know how to let him

536
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: into my world. But it took me a long time

537
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: to let him around my son. I'm not saying he

538
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: was a creditor, he was sick or anything, but I

539
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: just seen what my mom let us deal with and

540
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: we were around a lot of men, like when we

541
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: moved from the situation with their dad and he got

542
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: locked up for hurting me. She was like dating all

543
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 1: these different people and having all these different people in

544
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: our houses and I was just looking like, what is this? Okay,

545
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: so wait, so where is the dayette now? Well to

546
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,719
Speaker 1: this day, Um, as far as I know, he had

547
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: ended up moving to Brazil. Yes, um so just one year. Um.

548
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,479
Speaker 1: This man that used to smoke smoke crack in the

549
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 1: house when I'm with him and my mom had came

550
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 1: into my mom's job one year in Walmar in Maryland,

551
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: and he had the man's name on a piece of

552
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 1: paper and my mom remember who the man was, and

553
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 1: he was like, um, I don't want to say his name,

554
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: but he was like I was gonna make up. The

555
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 1: monster was like, wanted me to come in here and

556
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: give you his number. And she was like huh and

557
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: she was like yeah, and he was like yeah, he

558
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: told me to give you this, and he had his

559
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: number stuff on it. And we ain't seen him in years.

560
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: So he just left, y'all. No, we had left. Um.

561
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: He had got locked up the day I went and

562
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: turned him in when I went to school that day

563
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: that Monday. UM social service came and got me that

564
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: Monday from school and they took the police out to

565
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: him to pick him up, and they picked him up

566
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: and I went to foster home that same day that monday. UM.

567
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: I lived in there for like a whole year and

568
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: a half and then eventually my social worker came and

569
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: got me and brought me back to my mom, which

570
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: I didn't want to that I had a great life

571
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: in foster home. I'm not, you know, discourageon knocking anyone

572
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: else that's been a foster home because I heard other

573
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: people say, you know, they had it bad. I had

574
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: a great life in foster home. That woman was so

575
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: awesome to me, and I wish I especially compared especially

576
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: compared to what you've been through. Yes, she was great

577
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,239
Speaker 1: to me, Like she was so loving, and she had

578
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: another foster daughter there, and then she had a son there,

579
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: a young man name and the whole time it was

580
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: her grandson because her daughter had died doing birth. And

581
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: he didn't try anything with me. You know, he'd never

582
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: tell you. He was a teenager, so you know, he

583
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: had in his own little world. But it was great

584
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: that I didn't go a day without being hungry. I

585
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: didn't go a day without any day that you know,

586
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: she slapped or hit me or anything. I didn't even

587
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: go to school when I was in Foster Home. Mm hmm.

588
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: For a while, I didn't go to school, and then

589
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: they took me out of school. And then eventually she

590
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: when I was going to I can forth the court,

591
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: she was like, this is no. They need to figure

592
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: we need to figure out what school you gonna go.

593
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: And I didn't get the finished sixth grade with that class.

594
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: When I moved with my mom, I had to repeat.

595
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: I had to do sixth grade again. I had to

596
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: do it again. Um, which was fine, But I didn't

597
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: want to live with her. I didn't want to be

598
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: around her. I didn't want to associate anything with my mom.

599
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: And I know that's hard to say, and I know

600
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: it's her food, but that's just how I felt like.

601
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 1: I don't think it's her folt because I feel like

602
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: all the things you've been through was because of her,

603
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: her decisions, right, I understand. And I just felt when

604
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: I say this, because I know people that you know,

605
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: have close relationship with their mom, and I know people like, oh,

606
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 1: that's her mom. But at that time, that's how I felt.

607
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: I'm also a lot of her through right, you know.

608
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: But that's why I felt the way I felt, because

609
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: like you sat back and allowed me to be hurt.

610
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: Then you didn't stand up for him. But then again

611
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: you didn't even stand up for yourself either. So he

612
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: went to jail, he came back, He came back years

613
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: and years and years later. This was in nineties seven

614
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: when this happened. Ninety seven year ninety seven when he

615
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: want to be pushing was sixty. No, honey, here is seventy. Yeah,

616
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: he's old. He's seventy two years old. My mom will

617
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:26,719
Speaker 1: be fifty next year. My grandmother is seventy one. Yes,

618
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: he's a year older than my grandmother. So what was

619
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: your relationship like with your siblings? That's his kids. We

620
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: don't we have a good relationship. I first, I didn't

621
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: want to be bothered with them, And I know it's

622
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: her for to say, but at that moment, I didn't

623
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: want to be bothered, like as a as a child,

624
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be bothered. And they always tried

625
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 1: to figure out why my sister doesn't want to be bothered,

626
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: Why is my sister always so nazy to me. Why

627
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: am I sister? You know, temper is so short and

628
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: every time I say something, you know she's mean that.

629
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: And they wondered, and then eventually as they got older

630
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: they understood it was like he did what they were

631
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: They were frozen because they was like how, like why?

632
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: And the household of you. Yeah, we all lived in

633
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: the same household, and I was the only one being

634
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,479
Speaker 1: such as far as I know. They never came out

635
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: and said, oh, my dad was doing anything to me? No, no, wow.

636
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: And I can imagine the hatred that you probably had

637
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: towards them, because it was like, why was he doing

638
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: that to y'all? Man? My more more, my hatreds for

639
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: my mom and for him. That that was the angle

640
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: right there. Uh. And then it also was my dad

641
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: because um, at the time when this happened, my mom

642
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: had with the Georgia. One day on one year, something

643
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: was going on with my grandmother, and I guess she

644
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: must have seen him and he gave her information. And

645
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: when I told him what was going on, the first

646
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: thing this nick Rose say out of his mouth is that, oh,

647
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: I've never been out of the state of Georgia. I

648
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: couldn't do that. Huh. I'm your daughter. I'm gonna your

649
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: first child. Like I just told you that I was

650
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: being molested first and abused and then raped, And that

651
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: was the first thing. You can sell out your mother

652
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: to me? That question me because I know girls love

653
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: their dads and boys love their mom. So I just

654
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: didn't understand that part. But that was more my hatred

655
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: was really towards the an adults that was supposed to

656
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: be an adults, but they wasn't. Um. One of the

657
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 1: things that I took away from your story because like

658
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: the other day, I went to therapy right because my

659
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: mom was very abusive towards me. And one of the

660
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: things I took from therapy was because I panicked a lot,

661
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: and she was like, why do you think you panic?

662
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: And just like we was tying things back to my

663
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: childhood and like, you know, my mom not being there

664
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: consistently in my life, and then you know her having

665
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: been in her life that to me, it's like they

666
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: was more important to her own kids. But so now

667
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: things are starting to make make more sense to me

668
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: in the sense that I'm like, oh, I see why

669
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: I act this way and somebody doesn't know respond to

670
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: my calls or whatever. So have you seek therapy? Yes,

671
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: I did, I don't started going to therapy and I

672
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: got I think I was in twenty nine when I

673
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: started going to therapy because my marriage was falling a

674
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: ball and and the reason why I felt like my

675
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: merge felling because I didn't get the healing from my childhood.

676
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: And you know, I didn't see the proper when I

677
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: was a little little girl. I've seen the proper way

678
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: a man and a white supposed to be, but the right.

679
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 1: And then when I moved with them, I sing back

680
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: and forth, yelling and screening, and that's what I was doing.

681
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,399
Speaker 1: And then when he was expressed his feelings to me,

682
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: I would dismiss him and knock him down. And then

683
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 1: it was just like right, because that's what I was taught.

684
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: And then I was still filled with so much fire

685
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: in me. And then he asked me one day, he

686
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: was like, why didn't you wanna allow me into your world?

687
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,479
Speaker 1: Like and he asked me, and then the light bulb

688
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: went off and was like, I don't know how to.

689
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 1: And then that's when I was like, you know where

690
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: one day I had First of all, I had a

691
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: fight with God, and I don't know how to how

692
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: people feel, you know, their faith or whatever. But I

693
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: kept telling, oh, I'm content well where I was. And

694
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 1: he kept telling me, okay, if you say succirica, eventually

695
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I'm gonna I'm gonna break you down

696
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: and build you back up. And I was like, oh no,

697
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 1: I'm content with this. And one day he sure. Then

698
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,760
Speaker 1: he broke me all the way down and he built

699
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: me back up. And that's why I'm able to talk

700
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: about this now, because at first you couldn't even get

701
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 1: me to talk about it. You couldn't I wouldn't talk

702
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: about it. And then eventually went to therapy, and it

703
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: was a relief because I was able to keep all

704
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: of you know, everything out from the time it started.

705
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 1: I had my own timeline. And it was so weird

706
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: when she when I went in, she was like, you

707
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: knew how long this was gonna be And I was like, yeah,

708
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 1: I got a timeline from when it first started and

709
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 1: then his timeline when it ended. And I felt so

710
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: much relief that I got it out because I held

711
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: it in for so long and it was it was

712
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: breaking me down. It was breaking me down, and like

713
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: I said, it was in a fearing in my marriage.

714
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: And then eventually are you still married? Now? Yeah, I'm

715
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: still married. I've been married seven years. Oh good, good good.

716
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: So I like, how you being honest about how you

717
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: felt towards God, because I think a lot of times

718
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 1: when we go through something that's very traumatic, you do

719
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 1: questions God, like why are you doing this to me?

720
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: Why am I'm going through this? You know what I did?

721
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: I sure did. That's true, because you're so angry. I was.

722
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,879
Speaker 1: And then my grandmother will always preached me about God,

723
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, why did he let him do

724
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: this to me? And what say? You know they didn't.

725
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 1: First of all, my grandmother and my aunt, they didn't

726
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: know this was happening. My mom kept us away from it.

727
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: They didn't even know this was even going on. And

728
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: too they called one year and then asked what I

729
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: was that and she had to tell them and I

730
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: was at Foster Home and my aunt was like, what

731
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: the hell would you mean my niece and Foster Home

732
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: because I'm her first niece. And she was like how

733
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: she's like Mama's you know, uh, such a sances in

734
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: Foster Home and my grandmother on the phone was like,

735
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: you know, as to her daughter, what's going on? Why

736
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: are you just out her? Come with us? What is

737
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: the problem? And that's when she had to tell them

738
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: they didn't They didn't know. And even as an adult,

739
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: we would have conversations about and they was like I

740
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 1: didn't know, and they will break down and cry and

741
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's okay, it's okay. You know, he knew

742
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: what he was doing. He knew that he was gonna

743
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: get that girl from unneath her mom and her sister

744
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 1: to a place where he could just break her all

745
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: the way down. And imagine how many does and I

746
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: can just only imagine. And now he had Brazil like, yeah,

747
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: he has prostate cancer. Um um. When you're asking me

748
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: where he was at in the beginning, like I said,

749
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,479
Speaker 1: the young man had went into the Walmart and gave

750
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: her the information, and I guess she had cold. Instead

751
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: of her coming to me and my oldest brother and

752
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: letting us know that he was near, she didn't tell

753
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: us that. She went to his daughters and after three

754
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 1: of them, if their dad ever came back around, what

755
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,919
Speaker 1: they want to have a relationship with him. So when

756
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: the middle child came to tell me that Oh my god,

757
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: my anxiety was all over the place. When I was panicking,

758
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep, I started having nightmares. I was just

759
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: crying constantly. I was always looking over my shoulder going

760
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: to work because at the time I would, you know,

761
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll drive to work and sometimes I wouldn't. I'll

762
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: take the train, and I'll look over my shoulder every

763
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 1: day to figure out where he was. And he was

764
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 1: near what he looked at like, I didn't know. And

765
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: then I didn't even know he was that old. And

766
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: two I got a lot, a lot much older, and

767
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: I found out that he was a lot older than

768
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 1: my old and um, I was scared. I was panicking.

769
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't sleep, I was sweat at night, as you know,

770
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,959
Speaker 1: trying to talk to me, but I never fully told

771
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 1: him everything. I would tell him stuff, but it wasn't that.

772
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 1: And I was scared. I'm scared for a long time.

773
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,919
Speaker 1: I'll have my moments where, you know, some of them

774
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: flashes to come back up, especially like if I see

775
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: like somebody hurtless and child on the news or stuff

776
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: like that. If I'll read something, those little little triggers

777
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: do come back up for me. Um, like I said,

778
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: he moved to Brazil. He was living in Virginia. Um,

779
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,919
Speaker 1: one year, I've learned that one of his children's mother,

780
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 1: he had a daughter by somebody else and the mom

781
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: had got killed. Yes, her mom had got killed, and

782
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,479
Speaker 1: she's on drugs and her mom's her mom had got killed.

783
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 1: While he was raising that little girl. Some then something

784
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: happened as her in the childhood with her from the

785
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: the from the energy that I can get from her,

786
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: and when I talked to my sister, something happened to

787
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 1: that little girl when she was a little girl, because

788
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 1: she can't stand to be in sight of that man.

789
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 1: Something happened. How many kids with him? I learned when

790
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: I was a little girl that he had an older

791
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:46,439
Speaker 1: daughter and he had a grandson by some girl. Um,

792
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: so he had basically all daughters. So he had another

793
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: daughter by some other lady. And then he got three

794
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 1: with my mom. And then he had another daughter by

795
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: a young lady that was on his ruggs and somebody

796
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: end up killing her. So then my mom stopped question

797
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 1: like that he set her up because he would do

798
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: those type of things. Stuff He would set us up

799
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: like um, for example, we were kids, like we'll be

800
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: fighting somebody when you finished fighting, or you just fighting period,

801
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: you'll look up. Why he'll be standing it every time

802
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: something happened is it's another child will try to fight us.

803
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: He'll beat it. And we would think that he was

804
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: setting those things up for us. Yeah, because he would

805
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: do stuff like that. He would trick us. And you know,

806
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: he'll knock from the door and said we'll open the door,

807
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: or he'll be yelling. He it's just little things like

808
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: one year, my mom had got beat up by lady

809
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: in the building and I witnessed him in the third

810
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: grade as he was across the street into somebody else's house,

811
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 1: watching my mom get beat up. Do you think anything

812
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:46,399
Speaker 1: happened to your mom while she was going up? Not personally,

813
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: I haven't heard anything. She didn't, you know, she did

814
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 1: say that, mom, especially if she was so young. I

815
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 1: know my granddad had died when my mom was seven.

816
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: My granddad was messing around with different women. He was

817
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 1: from Making, Georgia, and he was messing around and with

818
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: somebody's wife and they ended up killing each other. And

819
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: I know she missed out on having her father. And

820
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: then as they got a little older, my mom, my

821
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: grandmother would treat them kind of different because my aunt

822
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: would say something and then I bought something with my

823
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 1: mom was doing or something to take it to my mom.

824
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: And my my grandmother was side up with her, and

825
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: that brother a wedge the team between my mom and them.

826
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: And I learned that as I got older too, and

827
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 1: she just always stayed away. And it's just I felt

828
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: like he was the opportunity for her, and she took it,

829
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 1: and she thought that thing happened, and especially the father

830
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: figure that she that she needed and she wanted and

831
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: she she missed out on. And I guarantee you he

832
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 1: was telling her all this good stuff. And because she

833
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: didn't have her father and that my grandmother and my

834
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: aunt was you know, double team of her, she felt

835
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: like this was the only way out and she took

836
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: it and didn't know that grand it wasn't green on

837
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: the other side, and that she had to pay for

838
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. Wow. Um, Last, and not at least,

839
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: what doesn't advice you would give to adult when it

840
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: comes to protecting children more, I would say not to

841
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: allow your children around just in it everybody because everybody

842
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 1: and everybody doesn't have good partitions. No, And I'm not

843
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: saying everybody's a predator, and they're not saying everybody is sick.

844
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: But you have to watch out you definitely, you have

845
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: to protect your kids. And if you are having your

846
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: children around somebody and somebody, your child tells you that

847
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: something that's going on, believe your child. Investigate, get to

848
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: the bottom of it and see what's going on. Don't

849
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: just set your child out, because that's the worst thing

850
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: you can do is set your child out. And I'll say,

851
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: you're teaching your child that when they get older, especially

852
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,479
Speaker 1: something did happen, that their voice don't matter the best.

853
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: And that's what I learned too. And my mom bade

854
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: me feel like my voice didn't matter. He already took

855
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: my voice as a child. And as to this day,

856
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: I learned how to take my power back. M and um.

857
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: But I advise parents to be there for your children. Investigate,

858
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: get down to the bottom of what's going on. Just

859
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: don't just shut it out and say it didn't happen

860
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: or just cover it up. Because and I was not

861
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: to be racial anything, but in this African American community

862
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: that I'm learning, we should a code a lot of

863
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: stuff and we brush a lot of stuff on the

864
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: rug because we don't want to be judged and we

865
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: don't want to deal with it. That's not that because

866
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: that leaves that child to deal with those feelings and

867
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 1: it it bothershed you. Yeah, just say just be there

868
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: for your children. And if it did happen, you said

869
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: you stay there for your child every step of the way.

870
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,880
Speaker 1: Don't let your child feel like she or she is alone.

871
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 1: That's just my advice. Just be there. Well, I want

872
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for this episode. I

873
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: feel like your story is gonna definitely like breat people

874
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 1: up more because I think a lot of from you

875
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: said like people just don't be believing these kids. And

876
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 1: it's like if it comes to me like how your

877
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: story was, like why would a kid lie about that?

878
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: You know, so, don't have any questions, comments, concerns, anything,

879
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 1: Please email me at hello at the PhD podcast dot

880
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: com And until next time, dies later. Thank you,