1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: We could be reading your letta live on the air, 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one right here, right 3 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: now today. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for 4 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. Well, my good friend Shirley Strawley, thank you, 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: Kier Junior. All right, here we go. Subject he wants 6 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: to keep it in the family. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I 7 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: have been married for seven years and we have two 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: young children. After having my second child, my desire to 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: have sex decreased, and it was a big problem in 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: my marriage. My husband is a great dad and my 11 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: best friend, so I felt bad for him. I started 12 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: back having sex with him, but I was never really 13 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: into it like I had been in the past. I 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,160 Speaker 1: confided in my sister because she has a newborn too. 15 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: Her child's father broke up with her while she was pregnant, 16 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: so she's going through her own issues. I wanted to 17 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: support my sister, so I told her to go out 18 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: with her girls and I would babysit for her. I 19 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: let her borrow my car and gave her a little 20 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: extra cash. My sister came back to my house at 21 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: a reasonable hour, but I was asleep, so my husband 22 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: let her in. She was supposed to stay overnight at 23 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: my house, but she didn't. I called her to see 24 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: why she left, and she started crying. She told me 25 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: that my husband greeted her at the door in his 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: bathrobe and invited her to sit and have a drink 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: with him. She's not drinking because she's nursing, so she 28 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: told him no. Thank you, she said. He told her 29 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: that he has always wanted her and that he wanted 30 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: to spend a little time with her. She told him 31 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: that I was right near them in my bed, and 32 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: he assured her that I wouldn't mind because I'm not 33 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: able to fulfill his sexual needs. My heart was shattered, 34 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: and my sister felt violated. When I confront at my sister, 35 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: I mean my husband. When I confronted my husband, he 36 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: said it was just a joke because he had been 37 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: drinking all night. I haven't decided how to handle him 38 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: and this situation. As I stated, I have two young 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: children to consider. He says it will never happen again. 40 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: But now my sister will not come anywhere near me, 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: my house, or my kids. Do you think this is 42 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: something I can overlook? What should I do? Please? Help? Well? 43 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: First of all, you don't have to do anything. Okay, 44 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: you didn't. You didn't make this situation. They did. They 45 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: need to fix this. You know, you left a major 46 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: part of the story out. You left us to assume 47 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: and conclude that they slept together because you said your 48 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: sister started crying and she felt violated, and now she 49 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: won't come near you, your home or your kids. I 50 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: just think this is this is really really sad that 51 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: they had to take it here. And no, absolutely not. 52 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: Should you overlook this? You ask, is this something you 53 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: can overlook? No, you know, this isn't anything you can overlook. 54 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: Your sister, She's always going to be your sister. You're 55 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: married to this man, who you know you didn't say, 56 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: but we're left to assume violated your sister in some 57 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: form or fashion, even if you and your husband were 58 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: having trouble sexually, for him to go to your sister, 59 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just unthinkable. You were betrayed by both 60 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: of them. You know she told me that you said, 61 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 1: she told you that your husband greeted her at the 62 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: door in his bathrobe. Okay, that was wrong right there, 63 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: and told her he's always wanted her. Really, this is 64 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: so wrong on so many levels. What should you do? 65 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: You know, yeah, you have two kids to consider, but 66 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: you know, if you divorce him because he did this 67 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: to your sister, I'm assuming you did leave that out, 68 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: but it sounds like he did. You know, you'll be okay. 69 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: You'll be a single mom for a while, but you 70 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: sound like a really good person, especially the way you 71 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: treated your sister. You'll be okay. Sounds like you have 72 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: a little postpartum going on. A lot of women suffer 73 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: from this after they have babies, so you might want 74 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: to get that checked out medically and deal with the 75 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: rest of the stuff after you take care of yourself. 76 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: That is my advice to you. Steve Well, it's a 77 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: crazy ass letter, but let's just start with the bottom 78 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 1: of the letter, which I very rarely do. But the 79 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: question is do you think this is something I can overlook? 80 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: What should I do? Please help? Well lady, do your 81 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: awful calm about this? That was no. I was furious 82 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: in the letter. I snapped and went off. You're just 83 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: trying to figure ideal with him. Later my sister won't 84 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: come over and talk to me. You're the calmest person 85 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: that this has ever ever happened to. Now with that 86 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: out the way. It's so much in this letter that 87 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 1: don't make no damn sense. But then it do you 88 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: know you had sex? I mean used to have sex regularly. 89 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: I'm assuming that, Shirley said throughout her response that she's 90 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 1: a assuming something happened, and you left this out to me. 91 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: You ain't leading nothing out, you didn't type it. But 92 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: it's all in hell, So let's go. You used to 93 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: have sexual your husband. I guess you enjoyed it. Y'all 94 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: got the second baby, you started having desires for your husband. 95 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: You felt really bad for him. Then you started having 96 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: sexual with him again, and then you wasn't really into 97 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: it and it had an effect on your marriage. So 98 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: then you told your sister about it because she got 99 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: a new born too. Now her baby daddy then left Hull, 100 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,799 Speaker 1: so she ain't got the same problem. You got two 101 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: totally different problems. You having trouble sexually getting back into it. 102 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: She ain't got nobody to get into it with. See 103 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: two totally separate problems. You told her sister about it. 104 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 1: She got her own issue, so you wanted to help her. 105 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: You told her to go out with her girls, and 106 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: you was gonna babysit for him, and you gave a 107 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: little cash. Then your sister came back to your house 108 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: at a reasonable hour, but she was sleep Your husband 109 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: let her in. She was supposed to stay overnight at 110 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: the house, but she didn't. That's when all the hell 111 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: broke loose. When we come back, I would discuss Shirley's 112 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: thinking that the man was wrong for coming to the 113 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: door with the bathrob on, and a couple of other things. 114 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: Right after this, well, this lady had a good marriage, 115 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: married to her best friend seven years and had two kids, 116 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: and then after the second kid, she lost. Her desire 117 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: to have sex created a problem in the family. The 118 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: marriage she fell started for him, so she fell sorry 119 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 1: for him, started to have sex with him again, but 120 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: she wasn't really into it. She was talking to her 121 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: sister and confided in her sister who had just had 122 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: a new born at two and then but her child's 123 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: father broke up with her. So we have two separate problems. 124 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: We got a problem with you the right of this letter, 125 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: woman who don't like having sex with her man, and 126 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: your sister who can't have sex because she ain't got 127 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: no man. Okay, these are two situations we're dealing with. Him, okay. 128 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: So you told her to support her, that you was 129 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: gonna have a go out with the girls, and you 130 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: babysitting barger card gave a little lecture. Cash sister came 131 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: back to your house at a reasonable hour, but you 132 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: were asleep, so your husband let her in this world 133 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: all went down that the husband let her end. She 134 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: was supposed to stay overnight at your house, but she didn't. 135 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: Then you called her to ask why she left. As 136 00:07:48,760 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: soon as you said that, she started crying, I ain't going. 137 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: Why are you calling me? Why are you calling me? 138 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: Why are you calling me? You mustn't know what I did. 139 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: You know what I did? Okay? So she bust out 140 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: crying and then told you that your husband greeted her 141 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: at the dough in his bathrobe and invited her to 142 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: sit and have a drink with them. Now, Shirley said 143 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: in her response that the man was wrong for coming 144 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: to the door with the bathrowbone. I don't see where 145 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: he wrong, and that you got bathrowbone at your house. 146 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 1: You go to the door when the doorbell ring. I've 147 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: been to my dough many times with a bathrowbone. Here 148 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: go the problem dough, sit and have a drink with him. Now, 149 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. And then you said she's not drinking 150 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: because she's nursing. So she told him, no, thank you. 151 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 1: Now right here, you know what that means. She ain't drunk. 152 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: She ain't been drinking at the club cause she nursed. 153 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: He invited her end to have a drink. She ain't 154 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: drinking then, So how we got to this situation? Everybody 155 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: is clear, everybody. He ain't drunk, she ain't drunk. Everybody 156 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: is clear. Clear. So now she told him no, thank 157 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: you cause she clear. She said. He told her that 158 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: he's always wanted her dog right now. Yeah, I don't 159 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: understand how you having this conversation while she in the house. 160 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: Your wife is in the house. I don't even know 161 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: how you having this conversation, but you did. I don't 162 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: know how she listening to the conversation, but she did, 163 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 1: and that he always wanted her to spend a little 164 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: special time with her. Then she told him that she 165 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: was right near them in my bed and he is shooting. Now, 166 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: your sister is clear now, so she must have won 167 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: at him too, because guess what she said, my sister 168 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: in that she gonna hear us. He assured you that 169 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: you wouldn't mind because you ain't able to fulfill his 170 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: sexual needs. My heart was shuttered, and my sister felt violated. 171 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 1: What who your sister felt felt violated? Why so when 172 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: you call it? She started crying and she went it 173 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: did it? You ain't gonna believe what he did to me? No? 174 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: No, no no, no, no, no, no no no no. Seems 175 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 1: like everything was consensual. Now, your sister, through her tears, 176 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 1: says he violated me. Now, if he violated her for real, 177 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: then these is charges. We have a whole nother problem. 178 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: If he forced himself but violated in this letter, I 179 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: don't know exactly what that means, So I'm gonna just 180 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 1: stay away from that. Let's just say they had something 181 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:09,319 Speaker 1: sexual happened. Okay. When I confronted my husband, he said 182 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: it would jess a job girl? Girl? Come on now, 183 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: what a girl? You crazy? Oh? Look, you you're talking 184 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: about last night? Girl? I don't just crazy. He came 185 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: in there and we're just joking. I slept with him. 186 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's real funny. I have not decided how 187 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: to handle him in this situation. As I stay that 188 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: I have two kids. What the two kids got to 189 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: do with this? Handling this situation. Somebody should have been 190 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 1: cussed out, somebody should have got jumped on, and it's 191 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: just a matter of who you was cussing and jumping 192 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: on first. Now your sister won't come over at all, 193 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: be around you, all the kids because should have slept 194 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: with your husband who also, I'm confused, don't know what 195 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: they are we writing for risking the mind? All right? Listen. 196 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: You can post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at 197 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out 198 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the 199 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show