WEBVTT - Setting the Bar Low 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.720 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:11.160 and I Heart radio podcast What is going On? Suck Army. 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:14.480 Welcome back to the newest episode of Help I Suck 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:17.680 at Dating, The first episode where there is no football 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:19.800 coming up at the end of this week because the 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.840 Kansas City Chiefs just beat the San Francisco forty Niners 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:25.119 in a football game. I don't think any of you 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:26.960 really care about that. I doubt that, which would probably 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:28.520 move on. But how do you guys feel about that? 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.560 How did that impact your relationships? It was fun watching 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:33.280 the Super Bowl? What did you guys do? Would you watch? 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:35.720 Do you have a party? I went to a friend's party. 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:37.720 Actually funny, I went to a friend's party. I haven't 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:39.840 drank alcohol since I broke my leg. I had five 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.720 white claws and I was very, very drunk. Well, five 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:44.519 white claws would do it to anybody. I feel like, well, 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.559 my white clauses get me drunk. That's like five bud lights. Basically, yeah, 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:49.440 that would get me drunk. No way, Oh yeah, I'm 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:51.600 a light way. Anyways, I got I got very drunk. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:53.280 I was very hung over the next day for my 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.280 physical therapy. So all in all, is a successful Super Bowl. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:57.639 I think I just watching at home, had a few 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.000 friends over. Dean was invited, but he shows somebody else. 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.440 I was at there for the championship game. He was 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:04.440 there for both games, so he was at our place 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:06.760 for seven hours. I'm sorry. I wish I could be 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:08.120 in two places at once, but I just don't have 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.759 that ability yet me too. Super Bowl Sunday was fun. 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.120 Uh the game was okay. I thought the last few 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:17.720 minutes before because you were I know, I wanted to 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.080 choose to win. I was bored for like three quarters. 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:22.080 I thought. I thought it was a pretty it was 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.600 an okay game, and then I thought the last uh 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:26.560 seven minutes of the game was really good when Casey 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.320 started coming back, and then I just really my only 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:31.160 wish came true. So I was pretty happy. I wanted 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:32.720 the ball in Jimmy G's hands at the end of 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:34.600 the game because I want to know what Jimmy G 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.280 is and what he's not. Let's just figure this out. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:39.920 Is he the next guy Ken? Should he have been 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:41.920 the air apparents Town Brady? Was he going to drive 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:43.200 his team down the field of the game on the 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.080 line or was he not? And he didn't and he failed, 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.920 so now we have no offense. I mean, he's he's 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.600 a very good quarterback. But I think, you know, when 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:53.200 when the game's on the line and the bright lights 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.920 are the brightest, I don't know, it's still up in 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:59.240 the air with mm alright. Halftime show thought, oh my god, 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:04.960 A lot of that was revolutionary. It was great. I 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:06.360 was pretty drunk at that point. I was like, well, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.640 j Loo and Shakira are crushing this right now. You 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.600 know what's you know what surprised me the most about 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.760 the halftime show. When I think about it, I think 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:15.720 more of Shaquira. And if you have told me j 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.000 Low versus Shaquira, my god, of course jo is gonna 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:19.240 win ten on a ten times. You would have liked 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:20.720 to have seen more of Shakira, you're saying, or no, 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:25.080 I thought Shakira sold show, Okay. I thought Shaquira was uh, 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:26.920 I don't want to say better than jail j. It 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:28.520 was awesome. But like when I think of the halftime show, 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:30.720 they were both great, but I think Shaquira was like six. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.040 I think that she Wolf might be one of the 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.400 best music videos ever produced. I'm more of a hit 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.880 stone lie that when She's in the mud. I was 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:40.679 like twelve years old that music video came out. Is 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.800 it very he became a man that had become a 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.320 man that day of my friend. Yeah, I was nineteen 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:48.160 when She Wolf came out, and as a man already, 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:53.239 I was very appreciative of it. Anyways, cool story brown, Yeah, 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:55.360 I thought it was great. And commercials that stood out 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.000 in your mind? What would you like? Well, obviously the 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.760 Brady commercial just because that hit home because he posted 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:01.680 so he posted a picture on Instagram that black and 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.520 white woe with no caption. Is he walking onto the field? 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.079 Is he walking off the field? Is this is a 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.720 retirement post? Is he leaving? Is he's staying? No one new? 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:10.800 And then after like a day, I was like, this 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:13.400 is definitely a Super Bowl ad. Sunday's gonna come. It's 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.960 gonna be commercial. I don't really like it. I yeah, 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.760 just because don't like in the commercial he's like, I 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.799 want everybody to know my friends, my family, most importantly 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.720 my fans. And I was like, come on, bro, like 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:30.280 I I care, Like, don't don't just string me along, 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.840 you know, So if you're gonna go, go refress me 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.880 what happened? So he he had a commercial saying that 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:39.640 he's coming back to continue commercial. He made an announcement 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.440 that his new team is Hulu dot Com. He was like, 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:44.680 I want every He was walking on to Gillette Stadium 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:47.080 and he's like, you know, they all say good things 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.040 have to come to an end, and I just wanted 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.200 to tell like my friends and my family and most 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.280 importantly my fans. And then it was like this build 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.920 up and then Hulu is offering that, you know, and 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:59.600 then you got a lot of got paid a lot 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.840 of My mean, you look like a damn stud. We 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.120 had an argument within the household who's hot or Jimmy 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:09.760 Garoppolo or Tom Brady. I agree, I think I think 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.839 Jimmy's a little over hyped. He's a good looking guy, 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.880 but he's not like the all end what is it, 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.560 uh we all end all hottest guy in football. He's 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:23.680 a good he's very good looking. Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy looks 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:28.000 like traditionally maybe like if you Tom Brady looks better 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:29.960 with age, I will say I'm gonna show you if 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:32.240 he doesn't. If you look at if you look at 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.920 when he was like training in college, He's no, he's 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.839 not have it. Jimmy's got this weird, like sideways smirk, 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:40.480 like he's like the I don't know, I saw the 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.640 Hulu commercial. Look at that. Look at that man, it's 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:47.880 in black and white. Jimmy actually, and I'm not a 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.080 huge fan of Jimmy. Actually do not like the forty 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.480 Niners at all. But I will say because you're the 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.240 forty Niners beat your favorite packers. No, not at all. 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.520 I just have always grown up hating the Giants and 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:03.640 the four Niners with a passion. Why it's just I mean, 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.280 I'm kind of from up there too, so like it 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.320 is a little weird, but Lakers and Dodgers have my heart. Yeah, well, 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:12.159 how does that compute to you? Just hating the forty 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:15.320 Niners and Giants so random? My whole family is like huge, 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:21.240 diehard Dodgers. Listen, it doesn't matter San Francisco Giants. Yeah, 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:28.240 oh so San France in general. That makes sense right 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:30.120 over there. I want to say it's early, but it's 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.640 it's not. So any other commercials stick out. I have 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:35.400 the top five from the USA Today ad meters interested 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.040 Jason Momo when it's pretty good. I thought that was 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.200 really good too. It's a little creepy, but good. It 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.200 was weird. Yeah, oh, I have what I know my 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.720 favorite Okay, and I guarantee I know the number one 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.760 on that list. Okay, do you want me to guess? 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.880 Please do? It's Bill Murray's Groundhogg number one on the lift. 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.760 That was definitely the best commercial people getting paid whatever 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:54.320 you got paid for that, it was worth it because 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.039 it was fantastic Bill Murray, because it was groundhog Day. 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.919 You recreated the movie groundhog Day with original cast, mean 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.919 birth and I thought it was fantastic. They had thirty 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:06.200 million views in one loves Loves loves that movie. I 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:09.040 was really excited to screp it. I don't remember that one. 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:10.400 I'll be honest with you. Have you seen the movie 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:15.240 groundhol Day? I good, maybe a little before my time. 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:16.839 And I say that as not the youngest person in 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:22.400 the room. Anyways, that was number one, smart poc, which 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.280 I thought you would have enjoyed. Oh my god, how 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:27.640 could I have polm for guy? That was number two? 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:32.160 You could pocket Fenway dot Chester Salthie. I don't remember 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.480 that one. I told you too many white claws. Man. 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.279 Look at this guy, he fit in this pocket spot. 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:41.359 Don't be a smarty pants Chris, Oh, it's so sounds funny. 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:43.480 Don't be saying you haven't seen the commercials. So it's 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:47.400 Chris Evan, John Krasinski, and Rachel Drafts all from Boston. 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.680 And then it's a Hondai commercial and John Krasiski's parking. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:52.320 They're like, hey, you were gonna fit in that spot, 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.039 and he's like, watch me, I got smart pock what 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.600 smock And then he's like, you could pock that. You 0:06:56.600 --> 0:07:00.520 can pock that anyway? Fenway, Yeah, dot Chester, Yeah, Eastcast 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.560 and then big poppies upstairs. Yeah, I have no idea. Yeah, 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:09.920 I just was. I was hoping that Brady would walk 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:11.160 through it too, because then it would just be like 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.760 Euphouria getting all Boston sports. Number three was the Google 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.160 commercial where the old man talks about all the remembers 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.400 about Loretta. I was. I've seen it three times. It's 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:25.280 the song. The song was also his voice, the voice 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:27.640 of an old man who has lived a good life 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:31.720 and it has Alzheimer's and is forgetting about his dead wife. 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:35.480 Oh my god, the dad. But he's got a smile 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:38.000 on his in his voice that he it's fond memories. 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:40.080 He's not like weeping and remembering his wife. He's just 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.240 remembering all the things she loved. That's why it makes 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:46.640 it so sad. Yes, Gallops, don't remember that one. You 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:52.120 don't remember just like the husband. It's so sad. And 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.920 you know what's really weird about that commercial? So they 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:57.000 had that commercial which was like two minutes long and 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.560 had everybody crying, and then the very next commercial was 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.880 Rick Flair. Did you see that? It was like this emotional, 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:07.560 heart wrenching commercial with Google where everybody's like, oh my god, 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.320 why are you doing this to me? And then I 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:13.320 media the next commercial is Rick Flair going, and I 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:19.360 was like, that's a weird transmission. Wrestler Okay, number four 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:21.080 was cool Ranch to read it with a little nos action. 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:24.880 Sam Elliott Showdown. I don't remember that one. And the 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:31.640 last one was Jason Momoa, which you mentioned that he 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:33.280 was like he got home from working, he took all 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:35.680 his big sexy muscles off and sat down and he 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:36.880 was like trying to bench at the end and he 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:38.280 was I don't remember what they were selling me, but 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:41.760 Rocket mortgage, remember right, that's a good point if you 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:43.800 don't remember what they were felling wasn't a good commercial? 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:47.120 Probably not, because Rocket Mortgage is not leaving the mind 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.160 when I think of Jason were taking us off? You 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.880 make a good point, and Hulu is the first down 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.920 Brady's mind because everybody's like, oh it was a Hulu commercial. 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.120 Everybody knows what the pot here. Here's a little bit 0:08:57.160 --> 0:09:10.880 of a show me photos man Loretta? Remember Loretta hated mustache? 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:14.960 And you don't have throw old memories that Google will 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.760 remember for what? Because he can't that old man's voice? 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:21.080 Did you ever see Ready Player one I loved? I 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.280 can't remember the name the guy that created the oasis? 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:26.640 I think I think that's the same guy that did 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.160 the voice for that, right, Um, it's the guy who 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:35.800 created is the guy from LBG or yeah? Um? Oh 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:38.199 my godways his name? He's the guy from Bridges Spies 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.640 with Tom Hanks. He plays the Mark Rylands thank you. 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.319 I don't know, I don't know. He does sound like 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:48.080 him anyways, what were you guys? His favorite commercials? Email 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.520 us I suck a dating at iHeart media dot com. 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:52.440 Do you remembers none of them? We would love to 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:53.880 hear them so I could google them when I get 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:57.120 home and watch them. On YouTube. Um, we got a 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.000 great episode for you guys today. We have dr Ish 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:03.040 Major coming in is from Marriage boot Camp Reality Stars 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:06.600 and he is going to help us in our relationships. 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:08.400 That's a great segment. You're definitely not gonna want to 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.320 miss it. Did you do your homework? We both did 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.960 our homework. Well, We're assigned three questions to answer about 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.280 the relationships. They can go over with dr Ish. Yes, 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.559 three very challenging questions that are definitely gonna get both 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.080 of us in trouble when we answer them live on 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.560 air on our podcast, So stay tuned for that. You're 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:23.840 not gonna want to miss it. Dr Ish is phenomenal 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:26.360 and he is going to be able to tell everything 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.040 that he knows. We're also gonna answer some emails at 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.640 the end of the episode, as we usually do. We 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:32.719 got some juicy breakup texts and maybe we're going to 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.960 disagree on some things, and honestly, we're disagree on some things. 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.839 So stay tuned and we're going to be right back 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:50.520 right after this break. Hello Stuck Army, welcome back to 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.720 help I suck a dating with very special guests that 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.120 was in studio right now. You will recognize him from 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:59.720 Marriage boot Camp reality stars. He is a doctor certified 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:03.160 side chiatrists who specializes as women, children, families, and all 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:07.280 things dating, mating and relating. He was named the Prestige 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.959 on the Prestigious List of America's I'm gonna really hand 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.040 this up. You were named on the Prestigious list of 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:15.560 America's top psychiatrists for the last three years, and you 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:19.720 were recognized by the International Association of Healthcare Professionals as 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:23.439 one of the leading physicians in the world. It is 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.800 dr ish, major, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, guys, how'd you 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.160 like that intro? Not fantastic? I like that. I got 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:33.120 a couple of correct phenomen who he is. But first 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:34.800 of all, can we all say that the word prestigious 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.679 real quick? How do I say? You say prestigious? No, 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:39.760 I said prestigious. And then also at the very end 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.079 you said leading physicians in the world. That can't be there. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:46.520 That's not right, right, leading psychiatrists physicians? Okay, okay, so Dean, 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:50.839 you're correcting yourself. Thank you very much. Anyways, welcome to 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.080 the studio. Doctors. Happy to have you. Not normally do 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.880 we have such qualified guests, so it's great to have 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:58.960 you in here. Obviously you come from the same world 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.000 as us. Didn't didn't you do marrige Bootcam? Now I 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.400 almost a marriage bootcamp? Okay, but so Jaden Tanner had 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.320 done marriage Bootcam, and so you're the host of that show. Correct? 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.080 How long have you hosted for? Oh man, this is 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:12.360 going to be season eleven for me hosting Woe it 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.079 goes fast. I've heard from Tanner and Jade it is 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.320 a difficult experience to say. It is not what you think, 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.760 right because most shows you can show up and kind 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:23.959 of be you. But for our show, you got to 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:25.640 show up and be you, and then you got to 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:29.440 go deeper, which takes a lot, because it's true stories 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.880 about who you are and where you're struggling, where I 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:34.839 may be weak, and because of that, where we may 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.760 be weeks. It's it's a lot. So for the lesser 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.839 informed myself and the audience that might not have seen 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:42.240 the show to give us a quick rundown on exactly 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.080 what happens. So what we do is we will take 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:46.400 your favorite reality stars, we bring you in for a 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:51.040 relationship boot camp, and it is couples therapy like no 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.640 other couples therapy. You've ever seen. It is intense. We 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:55.720 take the first five days and we break you down 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.480 and we beat you up, as Jaden Tanner will the 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:02.520 test too, and then the last five days we build 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.800 you back up, and on day ten you make your decision, 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:06.880 your final decision do we leave together or do we 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:09.520 leave apart? And and it's good. So it's just like 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.520 a very long, extended intense therapy session. It is, it is, 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:16.960 but it's but it's not traditional. Therapy is very non conventional. 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.000 We've got you doing drills and running from dogs and 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:20.760 jumping in lakes, and you want to get into the 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.400 break right exactly. We want you to experience the emotion 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:26.439 of it so we can see how that plays out 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.719 in your relationship. Then when I see that now I 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:31.920 can help. I remember watching and there was one time 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.000 where you guys had Tanner and Jade on there, and 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:38.560 I'm pretty sure Jade played dead and Tanner had to 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.120 be next to her and say all the things he 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.920 never could say to Jade when she was alive, and 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:46.520 it was a very traumatic experience for just a friend. Watching, 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:49.560 I was like, wow, right, oh god, this is emotional, guys. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:51.679 I don't know if I could take this it's a lot, right, 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.560 it's a lot. But and we try to drive those 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.560 points home that sneak up on you in life, right 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:01.120 because we're in l a as of two weeks. We 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.240 know life is not promised to us tomorrow. We don't 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:05.080 know what's going to happen. So what are you waiting 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:08.000 to say those things for? Same today? To say those 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:12.520 things a conflict? Right? Uh? In a relationship, we think 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.400 the relationship isn't going well. If we're having an intense 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.920 discussion or heated discussion or an argument. We think something's 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:20.520 wrong while I'm not doing this right, or maybe they 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:21.880 don't love me as much, or maybe I don't love 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.280 them as much? What does this mean? And so we 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.480 just tend to avoid conflict, especially guys. We don't like 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:31.240 to get into conflict with our significant other, our better half, 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:33.800 our female better half, because we know we're not gonna 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.680 win that emotional conflict, right, and we take that genie 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:37.960 out the bottle. We don't know how to put it 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.920 back in, so best to just avoid it. Do you 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.760 anthing that guys are just unwilling to be vulnerable. I 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:47.120 think that's a big part of it. Jared Um unwilling 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.880 to be vulnerable because if I am vulnerable, do I 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.640 really know what's underneath there? Because growing up we're not 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.160 encouraged to explore that. Right, It's not about get in 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:58.840 touch with your feelings. Think about if you got a 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:00.840 five year old kid, a five year old girl, and 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.520 a five year old boy both fall and skin their knee, right, 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:06.520 what do you tell the boy? Get up, shake it off, 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.800 walk it off. It's gonna be all right. But how 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.080 do you hand to look? Oh my goodness, are you okay? 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:12.880 You know, how do you feel? Let's you know, let's 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.080 put a pretty band aid on it and you process 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:16.920 those emotions right there on the spot. So it's a 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.200 whole different thing. Yeah, what do you think about that? 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.400 Do you think that should change? I think it's definitely 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:25.200 gotta change. I think it's starting to change. But as parents, 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.160 as the folks who are raising the little ones, we've 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:29.520 got to make a specific effort to do. So that's 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.880 what I think it's it's you can start to see 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:33.560 a little bit of a shift. I'd imagine that's hard 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.920 too because as obviously not a parent, but I would 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:38.640 imagine parenting a child, you're gonna fall into a lot 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:40.240 of the same things that your parents did when they 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.480 were fathering a parent, mother and you and so you 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.360 kind of get stuck in those bad, bad traits that 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.840 you're passing on to your children. Exactly right, because when 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:51.520 we live, we learn what we live, and that's what 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:53.360 we know. It's like, you know, you get married in 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:55.000 ten years in you looking at me, You're like, oh 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.200 my god, I'm my dad. Yeah, it's funny because, uh 0:15:58.440 --> 0:15:59.960 so my father and I don't have the best relations. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.520 He after like three years of not really talking, he 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:03.920 flew out to l A and hung out with me 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.440 for like a week. And I hadn't talked to this 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:07.640 man in three years, and he was doing insane things 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:09.920 that I say and do all the time. And I'm like, 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:12.720 that is just genetics. That's not even something like I 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:15.120 don't know, it's in the genes. It's in the genes. 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.400 So I have a question. So obviously I'm not married, 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.200 but uh am I allowed to go on the show 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.840 with my girlfriend? Absolutely? Really, you guys take couples of 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:26.600 whether they're married. Sure, for sure, if if you think 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:28.640 she's the one, if you've got some issues, you're thinking 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:30.320 she might be the one, you think we might have 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.360 a shot, come on through. I'll be honest with you, 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:33.760 we don't really have any issues, but i'd love to 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:38.160 see if we could find some Well, oh we'll find something. 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:43.240 Absolutely what a young relationship. We don't have any problems, Guys, 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:44.960 things are going. Do you think that would be a 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:46.440 fun thing to do? Is like bring like a couple 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:48.400 that doesn't really have any issue at least on the surface, 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:50.800 right on the surface, even uncover some stuff and you know, 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.720 it's it's funny as you say that. So a lot 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:55.120 of our couples from the Bachelors and you know, from 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.200 that franchise on the surface, like we've just got one 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.640 or two little niggly things that you know, it's not 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.360 a big deal. But by day six or seven, it's 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:07.080 like it all comes out. So you know, it's like 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.040 there's the there's the storm bubbling just beneath the surface. 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:11.840 Usually when it comes left. I know you guys had 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:15.960 Shaun and Catherine on there, and then you had JP 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:19.200 and Ashley, JP and Ashley. Yes, we did Tenner and Jade. 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:22.640 Is there anybody else? JP and Ashley? We had Desiree 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.800 and Chris. Chris where the last two who came through. 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:29.320 Chris was tough. How Chris was tough because he was 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.639 so guarded. You know. It was just one of those things. 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:35.239 Life is perfect. It's always been perfect. I've never had 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:40.480 any problems. We're perfect, disregard anything she says. We've got 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.480 it all together. And so it just it took a 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.119 long time to get him to that point. It was 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.600 finally on day nine. It was Lie Detective, and we 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:51.520 finally got to the thing that was really bugging him, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:53.879 which was, you know, does she she really all that 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.480 into me? You know, and we've all got those insecurities. 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:57.920 But it was hard. He was tough. Are they still 0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:00.399 tealing now? Those four couples that you named, j Tanner, 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.280 Catherine and I believe they are and there's just had 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.080 a had a baby. Yea, yeah, yeah, I think they're 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:08.560 all rocking and rolling, and so I'm sure you get 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:10.159 a lot of fulfilment coming out the other side of that. 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:12.240 Even if the couples break up, you're like, Okay, well 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:14.040 maybe you broke up because there was a lot of 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.080 underlying issues that we wouldn't have gotten to us. Look, 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.679 sometimes the best outcome is is no outcome is the 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.320 breakup we had. We had poly d and Rby come 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:23.240 on there, and it was like, you know, by day five, 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:26.119 I'm looking at both of them like, really, this is 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:28.439 what I was trying to do. And so sometimes the 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:30.720 best thing is, you know, I don't promise to keep 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.640 you together. I promised to get you an answer by 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:35.719 the By day ten, you will know if you can 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.520 show up and be all of who you are and 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:40.600 be happy with this person in your life. You have 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:42.679 that you'll have some inkling as far as whether you 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:44.600 want to move forward or maybe we should take some 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.000 time apart. And sometimes it's painfully obvious that, right I 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.800 forgot Polydin Rby. I recently just met Aubrey on an 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:52.800 X on the Beach Reunion love. I love her to 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.639 choose so sweet. Yeah, she's super nice. She recently you know, 0:18:55.880 --> 0:19:02.240 unblocked me on Twitter. Right right, I'm sold. I want 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:03.840 to do the show. I feel like it'd be fun 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:10.240 for me and God, what a naive uman until Klin 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.000 is like in a body bag and you have to 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:13.840 say all the things that you couldn't tell her when 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:15.560 she's a look. I know that when I say that 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:17.560 we communicate in her honest with each other about everything, 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:19.280 I'm sure that there are some things that we aren't 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:22.320 entirely honest about, of course, but sitting in the chair 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:24.200 right now, it's hard for me to imagine a situation 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.240 where we would have difficulty explaining something to the other person. 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:28.960 So that's kind of why I'm like, this sounds pretty fun, 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:32.640 Like fun, isn't If you're a good communicator, right then 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.560 then it will be great because I think we get 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:37.080 better being able to go into something like that. And 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:38.680 I'm sure this is why all the couples do the show, 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:40.040 is because you can go into something like that and 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:42.480 come out the other side so much stronger. And it's not, 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:44.400 like I said, Kaylin and I it's not like anything's 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:46.480 going wrong. But to come out of something, regardless of 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:47.919 what it is or why we went there, to come 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:50.040 out even stronger than we already are, that's a beautiful thing. 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:52.000 It's a beautiful thing. And Dean, what usually happens is 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:53.920 what couples will come in and like, well, these are 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:55.560 the you know, these are some things we would like 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:57.239 to work on. These are some issues we you know, 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:00.680 maybe meeting down the road. But around Dave five or six, 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.760 you realize that you've got your own personal journey to 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:04.760 get Oh, you know what, I've got some stuff that 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.359 I need to of course correct before if we really 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:09.160 want to do this, and that's when the cool stuff 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:11.320 to happen. I say we start this right now. I said, 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.600 we asked being a couple of questions whether he'd last 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:15.320 your marriage. I have I have one right off the top. 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.880 That's unfair. Answer this question only a question towards you, 0:20:18.920 --> 0:20:23.359 not towards camp Why are you and Caitlin? Why do 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:26.280 you not want you two together to do public interviews. 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:28.960 I don't want the outside looking and on our relationship 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:31.920 and making accusations or judgment calls based on a little 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:34.560 snippet of a thing. Oh, I'm sure you do fantastic 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:37.400 on marriage through camp boy, because you don't want outside 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.400 people judging your relationship. I can see why that would 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:44.880 sound like that would happen on the show. But also interviews. 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:47.600 You granted, when a TV you can't really control the 0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:49.720 edit that you get either, but it's just like the 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:51.680 interview thing is so easy to just be like, look, 0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:53.320 we're just not gonna do interviews together because we don't 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:55.760 need that added pressure from the outside world assuming things 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:57.720 about a relationship that they know anything about. Well, I guess, 0:20:57.720 --> 0:20:59.480 what are you afraid of? What are you nervous about 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:01.439 doing a public of you together? I'm personally, I don't like, 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:02.800 what are you afraid is going to come out? We're 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:05.080 not afraid of anything. I don't think really that's a 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:08.479 fear thing. It's just a matter of Uh, you've been 0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:11.160 in public relationships before, you're in one right now, and 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:13.080 I've been in I think I've been in a few 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:15.080 more public relationships than you have, and I've seen that 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:17.679 the way that the media can like turn things to 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:20.040 make you look bad in your relationship, and then that 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:23.680 like leads to insecurity in the relationship for whatever reason, 0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:26.359 probably for lack of communication. I don't think this relationship 0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:28.399 that I have with Kalen would really take a negative 0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:30.520 hit if we were to do joint interviews, but I've 0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:32.199 seen how they can have a negative effect, and so 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:34.760 I want to stay away from those. Sure, of course 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:36.600 they can have a negative effect, but the only reason 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:38.879 I feel like they have a negative effect is because 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:42.479 a part of whatever they did is true. Because if 0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:44.959 it wasn't true, then you can easily just blame the publication, 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.520 but if it caused conflict within your own relationship, then 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:50.199 there's obviously, like we said, an underlying issue there, right, 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:51.680 But how many interviews have you done, and how many 0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:53.399 of those interviews have they used five percent of the 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:54.720 words that you've said, and the five percent of the 0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:57.520 world time ones that they are the most attention grab 0:21:57.520 --> 0:21:59.040 you know, all the time. But the reason I got 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:02.199 so mad at it be as there was like I 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:04.960 had to defend myself in a way that while it 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:08.600 wasn't a complete fabrication, Uh sure they took my words 0:22:08.600 --> 0:22:11.000 out of context, but that doesn't mean it was a 0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:13.359 complete lie. Right. Well, I guess at my point, the 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.480 one headline that I can think of that it didn't 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:18.000 even get me in trouble, but it was like annoying, 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:19.680 annoying thing to deal with was when I said that 0:22:19.720 --> 0:22:21.320 I was never gonna get married. I was never gonna 0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:24.520 marry Kalin, right, and then they published these articles it's 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:27.639 like Dean's never marrying girlfriend Klin Miller Keys and it's 0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:29.720 like I'm looking at Calin like, you know, this is ridiculous, right, 0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:31.080 and she goes, yeah, it's a santor next to you 0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:32.280 when all this is being said, and this is a 0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:35.800 must absurd thing. Ever, But but that headline gets taken 0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:37.880 and run by all these you know, trating news outlets, 0:22:37.920 --> 0:22:40.000 and then that like just lets other people into a 0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:42.880 relationship and assume things that they don't know anything about. 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:44.840 And she's got to defend that right, and I have 0:22:44.880 --> 0:22:46.159 to sit there and defend it too because it's my 0:22:46.200 --> 0:22:48.600 relationship as well. It's just frustrating. So what you're talking 0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:52.600 about is you're introducing an unnecessary stressor to the relationship, 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:55.199 like marriage bootcamp. It's not it's not's what I mean. 0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:56.520 So my question is, why would you want to do 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:58.520 because here's the difference. When you go to marriage bootcamp, 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:00.639 you can come out of it of stronger, better couple. 0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:02.600 When you go into a joint interview, you don't gain 0:23:02.640 --> 0:23:05.280 anything from that. All you're doing is giving people insight 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:07.560 into something that they don't need to know anything really about. 0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:10.600 But we're not benefiting from it, you know, like we're 0:23:10.600 --> 0:23:12.640 not coming out of the interview stronger as a couple. Well, 0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:14.119 here's what would happen. I feel like a married to 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:16.240 peer camp, you would that would be a topic that 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.320 gets brought up, right, and then the immediate question afterwards 0:23:19.359 --> 0:23:22.040 it said, well, Dean, you said an interview let's talk 0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:25.920 about it right now with Klin. Will you ever marry Klin? Yeah, 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.560 that would be something that you'd have to face. It's 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:31.560 good in the moment, right, absolutely be willing to face that. 0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:33.720 And then all of a sudden Calin's like, well, I 0:23:33.720 --> 0:23:34.879 hope so one day and then you're like, well, I 0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:36.640 don't believe in the institution of marriage, and then bought 0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:37.920 a bang boada boom. But the thing is, this is 0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:39.399 the stuff that we talked about all the time anyway, 0:23:39.480 --> 0:23:42.040 which is a very good thing. Do you think now, 0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:45.200 I'm very curious, do you think Klin, because you don't 0:23:45.240 --> 0:23:47.200 have set publicly you don't believe in the institution to marriage, 0:23:47.440 --> 0:23:49.240 do you think you'll ever budge from that? I don't 0:23:49.240 --> 0:23:52.359 think that I am dead set enough in that conviction 0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:55.760 to be like I'm the potential of the change is 0:23:56.040 --> 0:23:59.520 always there, of course, right, So obviously I can see 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:01.120 why a friend would hear me say that and cling 0:24:01.119 --> 0:24:03.320 on the idea, oh he's going to change later on exactly. 0:24:03.840 --> 0:24:08.359 But again I just think it's all ridiculous. Better question, 0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:12.600 do you believe in having a long term partner? Yes? Absolutely, Yeah, 0:24:12.640 --> 0:24:15.280 And that's the thing too. It's like Um, it's not 0:24:15.280 --> 0:24:18.679 that I believe I believe against marriage because of the 0:24:18.680 --> 0:24:21.000 monogamy of it all or whatever, the partner life, partner 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:22.240 of it all. It's just had to think of the 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:24.720 marriage and general is still not to discredit anything. I 0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:26.320 think there's more married people in this room than there 0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:28.439 are non married people in this room. And you're all 0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:33.439 beautiful and you have wonderful relationships. That's all. That's all 0:24:33.480 --> 0:24:35.800 of us right there. Yeah, Dean's guy coming with the 0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:38.000 guy doesn't believe in the institution of marriage. Dean is 0:24:38.040 --> 0:24:40.560 wearing a ring on his left hand and used to say, 0:24:40.560 --> 0:24:45.719 we didn't get married. But the point of this, and 0:24:45.760 --> 0:24:49.679 that's exactly why I'm wearing this. And but you're right 0:24:49.720 --> 0:24:52.719 in line with where most couples, most younger couples are 0:24:52.800 --> 0:24:54.400 right now. A lot of younger couples they're just not 0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:56.760 doing it, or they're pushing it off. They're not doing 0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:58.880 in their twenties, they're thinking about it now in they're 0:24:58.920 --> 0:25:01.359 late thirties or you early forties, or they're just not 0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:03.560 doing it at all because they realized, hey, you know, 0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:06.280 mom and dad did it and it kind of sucks. 0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:08.440 So let's try to figure out a different way to 0:25:08.720 --> 0:25:11.479 work around, you know, and there's some agreements we can 0:25:11.560 --> 0:25:13.919 have between us, but we don't need it to be 0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:17.840 formalized here if it's formalized in our and so Caitlin, 0:25:18.040 --> 0:25:20.640 were eight months into our relationship, right, and obviously it's 0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:22.639 it's very early on to be making any type of 0:25:22.680 --> 0:25:26.480 predictions for the future. But I could see uh spending 0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:29.760 a lifetime with Kaylin, right, But that doesn't necessarily in statements, right. 0:25:30.240 --> 0:25:32.119 That's that's my point is even if I'm spending a 0:25:32.160 --> 0:25:34.240 lifetime with this person, doesn't nessarily I'm gonna get married 0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.160 to them. But you do realize that if you went 0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:39.080 on a show like marriag Bootcamp, not to say anything 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:43.119 negative about it, but of course that would become the 0:25:41.400 --> 0:25:45.719 central Then the next question obviously would be, well, if 0:25:45.720 --> 0:25:47.560 you're willing to spend the rest of your life with someone, 0:25:47.640 --> 0:25:49.399 why are you so unwilling to put a ring on 0:25:49.440 --> 0:25:51.920 her and and really solidify it. And that's a question 0:25:51.960 --> 0:25:53.919 I'll have to answer in the moment exactly. And you 0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:57.560 can see how like it would just be a lot 0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.160 it's just be aware, here's here's here's the benefit of it. 0:26:00.160 --> 0:26:03.600 On the show, we don't stop at the sound bite, right, 0:26:03.880 --> 0:26:06.200 you get you get a chance to tell the whole story, 0:26:06.560 --> 0:26:08.280 and then you also get a chance to tell the 0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:11.399 backstory that got you to the current, So people get 0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:13.760 a deeper understanding of who you are as Dean's like, 0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:16.359 oh okay, I see who Dean is now and I 0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:18.480 totally get it. And so that works. And when I 0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:19.879 think of marriage boot Camp and why it would be 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:21.760 interesting for Caitlin and I to partake in it, it's 0:26:21.800 --> 0:26:24.639 not for the audience is sick, but it would be 0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:26.479 nice to be able to go into like a pressure 0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:29.080 cooker as a couple and put the relationship to the test. 0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.800 Good word for it. Yeah, I've I've wanted the duke. 0:26:31.880 --> 0:26:34.680 I I've encouraged me and a former girlfriend of mine 0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:36.440 to do a couple of therapy. I've never done it before, 0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:39.120 and she she denied it. She didn't want to do it. Um, 0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:40.959 So I've always kind of been curious about, you know, 0:26:41.000 --> 0:26:42.919 what it would be like, especially with me because I'm 0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:44.440 an idiot. I talked myself in circles all the time. 0:26:44.440 --> 0:26:47.240 I don't really know what I'm saying half the time. Uh, 0:26:47.280 --> 0:26:49.960 but it wouldn't be going on the show wouldn't be. 0:26:50.520 --> 0:26:52.399 I want other people to get a glimpse of our 0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:54.320 relationship through whatever lens that they show for it, but 0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:55.639 I would like to see what her and I can 0:26:55.640 --> 0:26:57.440 get out of it together, you know what I mean? Sure? 0:26:57.680 --> 0:26:59.320 I mean actually, and I've talked about going to a 0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:03.840 couple of therapy as well, just to kind of I mean, 0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:05.560 like we So I don't think we have issues in 0:27:05.560 --> 0:27:08.399 the relationship, but there's nothing also wrong with kind of 0:27:08.520 --> 0:27:11.520 maintaining or just kind of going and seeing, hey, is 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:13.840 there deep underlying issues that we don't communicate on and 0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:16.240 kind of just work on the relationship together. Yeah, And 0:27:16.240 --> 0:27:18.720 they answer that question is yes, it's a it's a 0:27:18.800 --> 0:27:21.240 human thing. We've all got underlying issues. We've got areas 0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:24.399 where we're not strong, whether it's communication, whether it's trust, 0:27:24.400 --> 0:27:26.080 whether stuff we've been through in the past, and we're 0:27:26.119 --> 0:27:28.679 not over where there's forgiveness when we really need to, 0:27:29.080 --> 0:27:32.520 And so why not do something? Why not be proactive 0:27:32.520 --> 0:27:34.879 about it and strengthen those areas before they come up 0:27:34.920 --> 0:27:36.840 and blindside you and you're like, oh my god, what 0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:39.159 just happened? So yeah, it just makes sense. DR. Do 0:27:39.200 --> 0:27:41.520 you believe in marriage? Do you believe in Okay. So 0:27:41.520 --> 0:27:43.159 you believe in marriage. You know my folks marri for 0:27:43.160 --> 0:27:46.560 fifty six years, um, and so I know what that 0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:49.960 level of commitment looks like day in, day out, five 0:27:49.960 --> 0:27:52.439 of us, five sisters, you know, two guys to brothers, 0:27:52.440 --> 0:27:56.240 And so I know what happens to the kids when 0:27:56.240 --> 0:27:59.200 the house is full of certainty and full of love. 0:27:59.600 --> 0:28:01.840 And so I believe in the long term commitment. I 0:28:01.840 --> 0:28:03.960 don't think you necessarily have to sign on the dotted line. 0:28:04.440 --> 0:28:08.200 I think if you are committed to each other and 0:28:08.240 --> 0:28:10.760 you are dedicated to moving this forward, and you just 0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:12.960 and this is as simple as a decision. Hey, I've 0:28:13.000 --> 0:28:16.000 decided that I'm not gonna leave no matter what. That's 0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:19.920 my decision. I've decided to stay with you, knowing that 0:28:20.080 --> 0:28:23.080 my happiness is not dependent on your behavior. Right, whether 0:28:23.119 --> 0:28:24.480 you show up and you're in a good mood or 0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:26.879 a bad mood, you're irritable or you're or you're sad, 0:28:27.119 --> 0:28:29.280 or you're up or your down, I'm gonna be happy 0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:32.080 with me. And I've decided to stick this out with you. 0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:34.000 And I think the biggest thing when it comes to 0:28:34.000 --> 0:28:36.280 that long term commitment is understand it too. A long 0:28:36.320 --> 0:28:37.760 time for me to get to this place was to 0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:42.000 understand that I am not responsible for your happiness. I 0:28:42.000 --> 0:28:44.640 can't make you happy. I can't buy you enough flowers 0:28:44.720 --> 0:28:47.320 or take you on enough trips or right, there's nothing 0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:49.320 I can do to help you. Ma, You've got to 0:28:49.400 --> 0:28:52.160 find that level on your own, and then I am 0:28:52.200 --> 0:28:54.840 blissfully happy being here helping you maintain it when I 0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:57.200 maintain my own. Do you have any advice for people 0:28:57.200 --> 0:29:00.240 out there listening on how to get to that point point? 0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:03.040 To get to that point of accepting I can't make 0:29:03.080 --> 0:29:06.920 you happy and the only happiness that I can uh 0:29:07.080 --> 0:29:09.200 allow is my own, or like, the only happiness I 0:29:09.200 --> 0:29:11.440 control is my own. I think once you go on 0:29:11.440 --> 0:29:13.960 that journey to find your own, then you got it. 0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:17.120 Because it's because it's not easy. Hell, I'm a psychiatrist, 0:29:17.120 --> 0:29:18.400 and I can't even tell you that I'm there every 0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:21.640 day of the week. It's a it's a constant daily decision. 0:29:21.680 --> 0:29:23.600 I wake up every morning, the first thing I think 0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:25.160 of is you know what I wonder what makes me 0:29:25.200 --> 0:29:26.720 happy today? Let's let's see how I can get some 0:29:26.720 --> 0:29:28.800 more of that juice in my life. And once you've 0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:31.320 gone on that journey for yourself and figuring out what 0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:33.600 that is right, putting all those demons to rest, slain 0:29:33.640 --> 0:29:36.080 those demons, whatever those demons are, with its old family stuff, 0:29:36.080 --> 0:29:39.320 old relationship stuff, how you show up in the world stuff, 0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:41.840 Who accepts me? Who likes me? So once you're going 0:29:41.920 --> 0:29:44.240 on that journey, you've gotten closer and closer and closer 0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:46.320 to that inner source, that inner self, that thing that 0:29:46.360 --> 0:29:48.240 talks to you, and it's a true voice every single 0:29:48.240 --> 0:29:50.240 time when you decide to listen to it. Once you've 0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:53.959 found that, you can recognize it in somebody else immediately 0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:56.200 when they have it and when they don't, and then 0:29:56.240 --> 0:29:58.640 those two things will kind of come together automatically and 0:29:58.680 --> 0:30:00.200 you don't even have to make that decision, and it 0:30:00.240 --> 0:30:04.320 will decide for it self. These two were given homework. 0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:07.880 I like homework and discuss with you, and they are 0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:09.520 ready for it. They planted it out and I think 0:30:09.520 --> 0:30:11.680 they're a little nervous about it. We're not very good 0:30:11.720 --> 0:30:15.160 at homework. That were nervous about the fact that we 0:30:15.200 --> 0:30:17.480 didn't do the homework. You look, you're talking to a 0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:19.680 guy who's in a school for fourteen years. I'm a 0:30:19.720 --> 0:30:22.320 homeworker there. You know. It was one of the worst 0:30:22.360 --> 0:30:24.560 times of high school was when you had the rows 0:30:24.560 --> 0:30:26.520 of desk and you had to hand your homework forward. 0:30:27.240 --> 0:30:30.360 Embarrassing moment where the person behind you would look at 0:30:30.400 --> 0:30:32.600 you as if pass your homework forward and you're just 0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:37.200 like I I didn't do look back towards the teacher. 0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:40.680 All right. Number one, think of one thing in your 0:30:40.680 --> 0:30:43.760 relationship you want to improve, Jared, you can start with 0:30:44.240 --> 0:30:46.840 Dean with you. Here's the thing about the relationships you're married. 0:30:46.920 --> 0:30:49.040 Yours is much more stable, so you can obviously lead 0:30:49.040 --> 0:30:51.040 off these these questions. I think that's the most appropriate 0:30:51.080 --> 0:30:55.080 with it tackless um so on how to improve the relationship. 0:30:55.800 --> 0:30:58.120 I think one thing I would like to improve in 0:30:58.720 --> 0:31:03.040 mine and ashle his marriage. Uh. It again is on 0:31:03.240 --> 0:31:09.000 me is to um live more in the moment rather 0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:12.960 than being so paranoid about the future, especially living in 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:16.160 Los Angeles and the industry that we're in. I feel 0:31:16.160 --> 0:31:18.840 a lot of times I'm just waiting for the rug 0:31:18.920 --> 0:31:20.959 to be pulled out underneath because there isn't a lot 0:31:21.000 --> 0:31:24.760 of certainty here and for me to be told, you know, 0:31:25.640 --> 0:31:31.520 every social media has gone, podcast is gone. Uh, and uh, 0:31:31.560 --> 0:31:34.240 you know, good luck and figure it out and then 0:31:34.840 --> 0:31:37.520 Ashley and I kind of coming to not coming to grods. 0:31:37.560 --> 0:31:40.600 I just feel like I think I've accepted the fact 0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:44.040 that I am able to live a life back east 0:31:44.200 --> 0:31:48.000 small town, uh, And I don't think Ashley is on 0:31:48.040 --> 0:31:50.800 that same level as me, and that that's what concerns 0:31:50.840 --> 0:31:53.600 me a lot of times that if this doesn't keep going, 0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:56.280 what we're doing right now doesn't keep going, we won't 0:31:56.280 --> 0:31:59.360 reach the expectations that actually has for her life. And 0:31:59.400 --> 0:32:01.880 that concerns me. And so I think the way to 0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:04.400 improve our relationship is for me not to project into 0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:06.280 the future, but rather just live in the moment and 0:32:06.360 --> 0:32:10.200 enjoy it and then keep working hard and then hopefully 0:32:10.560 --> 0:32:11.840 in the at the end of the day that will 0:32:11.880 --> 0:32:14.640 pay off. Yeah. So two words that you said that 0:32:14.640 --> 0:32:16.920 I've picked up on. One is certainty, which is what 0:32:16.960 --> 0:32:20.600 we're all looking for to a certain degree. And then expectations. 0:32:20.600 --> 0:32:23.000 And you're still your your newly wed still correct, just 0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:25.400 married in August and August right, so congratulations, thank you 0:32:25.440 --> 0:32:28.240 very much. And so, yeah, you want the certainty and 0:32:28.760 --> 0:32:30.680 you want to be able to provide that because that's 0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:33.160 part of what makes you feel good and in the relationship. 0:32:33.600 --> 0:32:38.720 Here's what I will tell you, um, take your expectations 0:32:38.720 --> 0:32:40.120 about how to live in the moment. You said you're 0:32:40.160 --> 0:32:41.280 trying to live in the moment. So the way to 0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:43.400 live in the moment is take your expectations and turn 0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:45.920 into appreciation, and you just wake up and appreciate what 0:32:45.960 --> 0:32:47.920 you have in front of you. I've had this beautiful 0:32:48.040 --> 0:32:50.280 woman right here next to me. We got this beautiful life. 0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:52.120 I get to come in and work with these amazing 0:32:52.120 --> 0:32:55.360 people every single day. And so you appreciate that because 0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:59.240 everything has the brain doesn't work in negatives, right, Every 0:32:59.280 --> 0:33:02.480 subject is two subjects. It's what is wanted and what 0:33:02.680 --> 0:33:06.120 is not wanted. And whatever you're focusing on is what 0:33:06.160 --> 0:33:07.840 you're going to get. And so if you're if you're 0:33:07.840 --> 0:33:10.040 focused on the uncertainty and how it's gonna look when 0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:11.800 I gotta tell last year we gotta move back east, 0:33:12.120 --> 0:33:15.200 then that's what you're gonna get. Right, Stay focused on 0:33:15.200 --> 0:33:17.440 the appreciation. This is what I have, and this is 0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:19.880 what's working, and this is what I'm loving, and forget 0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:22.040 everything else, and everything else will just drip and fall 0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:23.960 away from your life. And and that's how you and 0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:26.400 then and then there is no hopefully it works out. 0:33:26.600 --> 0:33:29.040 It just works out because you're staying blissful and happy 0:33:29.080 --> 0:33:31.200 in the moment and you're always in appreciation. You know 0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:34.440 what really helps me with that is my dog. Yeah, 0:33:34.560 --> 0:33:37.600 I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes when I get 0:33:37.640 --> 0:33:41.760 so overwhelmed with uh frivolous things that at the end 0:33:41.760 --> 0:33:44.200 of the day won't matter, but in the moment seemed 0:33:44.240 --> 0:33:47.720 like the biggest things ever. Sometimes my dog will just 0:33:48.120 --> 0:33:52.200 I'll put food down and she is just the happiest 0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:54.640 thing alive because there's food on the ground. Or we're 0:33:54.680 --> 0:33:57.120 about to go on a walk, which I am piste 0:33:57.160 --> 0:33:58.720 off about because I don't want to take her on 0:33:58.720 --> 0:34:00.640 a walk. You know, it's a lot o plocket knights. 0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:02.120 She's got to go one more time. I'm like, all right, 0:34:02.200 --> 0:34:04.600 let's just go. Let's go, And she is just the 0:34:04.640 --> 0:34:07.480 happiest thing alive. And then I realized, why am I 0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:11.440 so like, why am I so upset about things that 0:34:11.480 --> 0:34:13.600 aren't gonna mender no matter at the end of the day, 0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:17.279 when like, she's the happiest thing alive because she's going 0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:21.600 outside and I have I'm married, i have you know, 0:34:21.680 --> 0:34:26.000 a nice apartment, I have a great job. Um, and 0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:28.200 I let these things just bring me down because it 0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:30.279 just seems like they're the worst things in the world 0:34:30.320 --> 0:34:32.759 when at the end of the day, they're not gonna matter. 0:34:32.960 --> 0:34:34.640 It's not gonna matter. And think about the scope of 0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:38.120 your life. It's always worked out. It's working out. Knock 0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:40.879 on wood, that's what Ashley says, that's what working out. 0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:43.040 That's what makes you so concerned, Like I feel like 0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:46.560 that's gonna be on like my tembstone, it always works out, 0:34:46.760 --> 0:34:50.920 does it? Just like entragh, I want to back check 0:34:50.960 --> 0:34:52.160 for a second. You said you have a job. What's 0:34:52.160 --> 0:34:56.479 this job that I'm sitting on it? Buddy, This isn't 0:34:56.480 --> 0:34:59.200 a job. I just said it, like you know, I 0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:02.080 meant in turn of also from social media and what 0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:04.719 I'm saying and hosting and the things that we're able 0:35:04.760 --> 0:35:06.239 to do. If you want know, what's funny is mine 0:35:06.239 --> 0:35:09.480 and Kalin's improvement, I think is the opposite of what 0:35:09.600 --> 0:35:11.800 yours is. I think we live too much in the moment, 0:35:12.120 --> 0:35:14.160 and in my opinion, both of us don't have enough 0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:16.160 direction on what we want to be doing long term 0:35:16.320 --> 0:35:18.560 or even short term or middle term. You know, like 0:35:18.600 --> 0:35:20.239 we both have interests and we both like to do 0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:22.279 things together, but we don't know if that's necessarily going 0:35:22.320 --> 0:35:26.400 to lead to success maybe professionally later on, or what 0:35:26.480 --> 0:35:29.640 that necessarily holds for us. Like whenever we take meetings 0:35:29.680 --> 0:35:31.560 or like we we talk about what we want to 0:35:31.560 --> 0:35:33.560 be doing in the future, it's it's never really met 0:35:33.560 --> 0:35:35.799 with any certainty. It's always kind of like, well, I 0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:37.359 don't know, we'll figure it out when we get there, 0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:39.080 you know, because we're too focused on the things that 0:35:39.080 --> 0:35:40.960 we're doing in the moment, whether it's traveling or taking 0:35:41.000 --> 0:35:43.600 pictures or hanging out with our new dog too or 0:35:43.840 --> 0:35:45.759 whatever it is. So it's that's one thing that I 0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:48.200 think that we could work on improving, is figuring out 0:35:48.280 --> 0:35:52.200 exactly what we want to be doing in the future. So, Deane, 0:35:52.200 --> 0:35:54.600 here's how you figure that out. We were all born 0:35:54.640 --> 0:35:59.360 with this amazing guidance system called your emotions. Right, if 0:35:59.400 --> 0:36:01.239 you're doing something when you feel crappy doing it, don't 0:36:01.239 --> 0:36:04.960 do it. Staying in the moment gets you exactly what 0:36:05.000 --> 0:36:07.040 you want, right, so you're actually doing it the right way. 0:36:07.280 --> 0:36:09.799 I'm doing this thing that's making me happy today, and 0:36:09.840 --> 0:36:13.480 so tomorrow chance and I'm gonna end up doing something's 0:36:13.480 --> 0:36:15.560 gonna make me happy tomorrow. And you just keep going 0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:18.279 with that. And I was gonna chime in earlier when 0:36:18.320 --> 0:36:21.480 you were talking about in order to have a fruitful 0:36:21.520 --> 0:36:22.920 relationship with someone else, you have to learn how to 0:36:23.000 --> 0:36:24.480 love yourself and do the things that make you happy. 0:36:24.520 --> 0:36:27.480 And when I think about, uh, my relationship now and why, 0:36:27.520 --> 0:36:29.040 in my opinion, is the best relationship I've been And 0:36:29.080 --> 0:36:31.480 it's because earlier in twenty nineteen, I started doing those 0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:33.799 things like I got my skydiving license, I've been rock 0:36:33.800 --> 0:36:35.440 climbing more, I moved into the van full time to 0:36:35.480 --> 0:36:36.920 travel more, and all these things that I was doing 0:36:36.960 --> 0:36:39.160 for myself, which has ultimately led me to be more 0:36:39.200 --> 0:36:41.320 content in my relationship and happy with the things that 0:36:41.360 --> 0:36:42.920 I'm doing on my own that I can, you know, 0:36:43.080 --> 0:36:44.839 bring someone else into if I want to and they 0:36:44.840 --> 0:36:47.400 want to, etcetera, and you'd get to share it. Right this, 0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:50.800 you are not responsible for for making me happy. I 0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:53.839 hate when people say, oh, you know, relationships with yeah, 0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:56.000 it's a hundred one hundred. You gotta show you a 0:36:56.080 --> 0:36:58.960 hundred percent grown self and then they've got to bring 0:36:58.960 --> 0:37:02.520 their grown self And now we've got something. But if 0:37:02.560 --> 0:37:04.399 you've got fifty and you're looking for me to fill 0:37:04.480 --> 0:37:06.839 up your other half. Then hell, I can't fill up 0:37:06.840 --> 0:37:08.719 most of my own in most days of the week, 0:37:08.800 --> 0:37:10.680 so I'm not gonna be able to carry that load 0:37:10.719 --> 0:37:16.080 for you when you need it consistently. In number two, Mark, well, actually, 0:37:16.120 --> 0:37:18.200 you guys have covered a lot of these and what 0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:20.080 you've already said. The second one is what is your 0:37:20.239 --> 0:37:23.200 your biggest flaw in your relationship? Do we know? I 0:37:23.200 --> 0:37:26.480 would say that I don't mind pretty easily. I liked, uh, 0:37:26.520 --> 0:37:28.880 my own my personal time a lot. I'm pretty introverted, 0:37:28.960 --> 0:37:30.920 and so sometimes, especially with Kalin, we spent a lot 0:37:30.920 --> 0:37:32.600 of time together, and there are times where I don't 0:37:32.600 --> 0:37:34.319 know if it's necessarily a flaw, but I'll like, I'll 0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:35.839 communicate to heir, like, hey, you just need some time 0:37:35.840 --> 0:37:37.319 alone for a little bit, like go to your own thing. 0:37:37.360 --> 0:37:38.400 I'll just go to my thing for a couple of 0:37:38.440 --> 0:37:40.520 hours and beat back up. I wouldn't say it's a 0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:45.000 flaw necessarily, but uh, I can sense sometimes like I 0:37:45.080 --> 0:37:47.360 almost feel bad for saying that sometimes, you know, not 0:37:47.400 --> 0:37:50.239 all the time, because it's been a uh it's been 0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:52.240 a thing since we started dating, so it's the expectations 0:37:52.280 --> 0:37:54.799 always been there since the beginning. But sometimes I feel 0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:58.359 a little guilty for it. You feel selfish, yeah, selfish, Yeah, 0:37:58.400 --> 0:38:01.960 of course, yeah, But in reality, you're not being selfish 0:38:02.000 --> 0:38:06.000 because if she's got to force you to be somebody 0:38:06.000 --> 0:38:07.840 who you're not in order for her to be happy 0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:10.600 with you, then hey, you're not going to be happy. 0:38:10.960 --> 0:38:13.240 And then she's not gonna be happy because she knows 0:38:13.280 --> 0:38:16.319 that she's doing some things that you know aren't. I 0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:18.719 don't get to experience the full breadth of who Dean 0:38:18.920 --> 0:38:20.839 is because I need him to be this certain way 0:38:20.880 --> 0:38:22.600 in order for me to do that right. I need 0:38:22.719 --> 0:38:25.160 him to not want that downtime and that me time, 0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:27.120 which I know is gonna make him miserable, but it's 0:38:27.160 --> 0:38:30.520 gonna make me happy. So let's right, So and asking 0:38:30.520 --> 0:38:31.839 for the thing you want right. So this is why 0:38:31.880 --> 0:38:34.200 should come on the show needs and wants right, and 0:38:34.239 --> 0:38:37.520 so that is a need. Hey, I love you to death, 0:38:37.640 --> 0:38:40.600 love hanging out, do all of those things, but I 0:38:40.640 --> 0:38:42.680 need my time right and it's maybe it's a couple 0:38:42.719 --> 0:38:44.279 of hours, and I need to come up with the 0:38:44.320 --> 0:38:46.520 way to ask you for it that doesn't offend you, 0:38:46.560 --> 0:38:48.480 will make you feel like there's something you're doing that 0:38:48.480 --> 0:38:50.520 I don't want. To be around. But once you get 0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:53.200 comfortable asking for those things you need and more especially 0:38:53.280 --> 0:38:57.279 with the newly married folks. Right, never assume that you 0:38:57.400 --> 0:39:00.320 just know, always got to ask, and so you're asking 0:39:00.400 --> 0:39:02.839 for it. That's a good thing. Don't feel selfish about 0:39:02.840 --> 0:39:04.640 it because when I am back, once you give me 0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:08.279 those two or three hours, oh baby, I'm back, and 0:39:08.320 --> 0:39:10.359 you've got all of it right and so, and that's 0:39:10.480 --> 0:39:13.800 that's a good thing. I feel like Ashley always knows. Yeah, 0:39:14.719 --> 0:39:19.719 just today, but tomorrow you're going to be different. It's true, right, 0:39:20.200 --> 0:39:22.839 the doctor issue I was last week, Take a picture 0:39:22.840 --> 0:39:24.480 of that guy, because you're not gonna see him anymore. 0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:27.160 A brand new guy is gonna right. And so in 0:39:27.239 --> 0:39:30.319 long term relationships, we don't allow for the fact that 0:39:30.360 --> 0:39:32.080 we're going to grow and we're going to change. And 0:39:32.320 --> 0:39:34.320 the things I was into, you know, a couple of 0:39:34.360 --> 0:39:37.160 years ago, I'm not into those things anymore, whether it's music, 0:39:37.160 --> 0:39:40.120 whether it's food, whether it's my sexual taste. And we've 0:39:40.120 --> 0:39:43.120 got to be able to carry those ongoing discussions. Folks say, oh, 0:39:43.160 --> 0:39:45.400 we just gotta have a conversation. No, it's an ongoing dialogue, 0:39:45.440 --> 0:39:49.200 and you gotta remember to talk about it every single day. Yeah, 0:39:49.280 --> 0:39:51.319 I guess my biggest fall in the relationship, that's a 0:39:51.360 --> 0:39:54.040 hard one. I guess my anxiety. But just more so, 0:39:54.840 --> 0:40:02.800 I think for me, it's hard to separate, uh, mine 0:40:02.800 --> 0:40:06.600 and Ashley's relationship from my relationship with my family back east, 0:40:06.719 --> 0:40:13.480 back home. It's hard to really articulate because I romantically, 0:40:13.600 --> 0:40:18.400 I know, yeah, obviously, uh that was a joke. I 0:40:18.440 --> 0:40:25.400 would say, like it's I would say, probably Ashley is 0:40:25.440 --> 0:40:29.000 my family now, but I have family home that I 0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:34.080 miss a lot, right, And it's hard to prioritize that. 0:40:34.160 --> 0:40:36.680 Like I was watching I forgot what movie it was, 0:40:36.760 --> 0:40:39.560 but the whole moral of the movie was that he 0:40:39.640 --> 0:40:42.480 was unable to let go of things. And then at 0:40:42.520 --> 0:40:44.759 the end he's like, no, you are my family, like 0:40:44.800 --> 0:40:46.760 and that's this is the most important thing moving forward, 0:40:46.800 --> 0:40:48.799 and like family changes and so on and so forth. 0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:51.439 And I have a very difficult time separating the two 0:40:51.440 --> 0:40:53.759 because I really want I want to be selfish and 0:40:53.800 --> 0:40:56.439 I want to be with my family that I've been 0:40:56.480 --> 0:40:59.120 born and raised with and have Ashley be a part 0:40:59.120 --> 0:41:02.560 of that, and of course her family too. But actually 0:41:02.600 --> 0:41:05.120 has a much easier time dealing with the like the 0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:07.040 future of things like it's her and I am moving 0:41:07.080 --> 0:41:08.920 forward and having kids and then we're going to do 0:41:09.160 --> 0:41:11.960 our own family, and it's hard for me to separate 0:41:12.000 --> 0:41:15.600 that because then it just feels I guess I'm having 0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:17.200 a hard time of letting go of that well, and 0:41:17.200 --> 0:41:18.960 I think it's up that you have to let go 0:41:19.120 --> 0:41:25.200 of Peter Panza. It's afraid of No, it's just it's just, um, 0:41:25.239 --> 0:41:29.160 it's a shift in responsibility to shift in priority. Is 0:41:29.200 --> 0:41:31.319 like Dan was talking about, it's like asking for the 0:41:31.400 --> 0:41:34.320 things you needed want right. I need to be connected 0:41:34.400 --> 0:41:37.680 to my family. I need that. I feel selfish for 0:41:37.719 --> 0:41:39.960 it because I know that you're here and you're my 0:41:40.080 --> 0:41:42.680 new family and we're building this thing together. But at 0:41:42.680 --> 0:41:44.640 the same time, and so it's just it's not a 0:41:44.840 --> 0:41:47.160 it's not a letting go. It's just figuring out how 0:41:47.200 --> 0:41:49.640 you're going to incorporate everybody because you get to have 0:41:49.719 --> 0:41:52.799 it all. You don't have to choose. Yeah, um, but 0:41:52.840 --> 0:41:55.359 you've got to have those open and honest conversations about it. 0:41:55.400 --> 0:41:58.360 Actually actually says the sweetest thing all time. She says 0:41:58.440 --> 0:42:02.200 that she gets a little sad every night because it 0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:04.400 means one less day with me, which is the cutest 0:42:04.440 --> 0:42:10.880 thing ever and if marry her, wait, you already did, ye. 0:42:11.600 --> 0:42:13.319 I was an idiot for a while and I've been 0:42:13.560 --> 0:42:16.640 luckily came to my senses. But I think, and of 0:42:16.680 --> 0:42:19.200 course I feel the exact same way towards her. But 0:42:19.520 --> 0:42:21.400 I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the 0:42:21.400 --> 0:42:23.800 exact same way towards my parents, my sister, and the 0:42:23.800 --> 0:42:27.680 people are close with, especially as my parents get older, um, 0:42:27.719 --> 0:42:30.120 and they're, you know, in their sixties, and it's like, damn, 0:42:30.440 --> 0:42:32.480 you know, if we're here for two or three more years, 0:42:32.560 --> 0:42:34.800 that means they're in there, you know, mid to upper sixties. 0:42:34.840 --> 0:42:37.680 And these are things that I again, I try to 0:42:37.719 --> 0:42:39.160 just live in the moment and not be concerned with 0:42:39.200 --> 0:42:41.400 those things. But of course they're just first and foremost 0:42:41.440 --> 0:42:44.120 because we're so far away. But anyway, so I think 0:42:44.120 --> 0:42:46.359 that's the biggest flown relationship. Another great example of not 0:42:46.400 --> 0:42:49.759 having a family being better in this case. No, ever, 0:42:50.000 --> 0:42:51.640 I don't have to worry about my parents getting old. 0:42:52.239 --> 0:42:55.239 Close with your brothers, Yeah, sure, my brothers, they're just 0:42:55.280 --> 0:42:57.279 saying to me basically essentially. Anyway, So let's me go 0:42:57.280 --> 0:42:58.640 on to the third one. The third one is what 0:42:58.719 --> 0:43:00.440 is the one thing you would like your partner to 0:43:00.480 --> 0:43:04.680 work on. I've got a laundry list. Careful now they're 0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:08.480 gonna be listening. She squeezes her toothpaste from the front 0:43:08.520 --> 0:43:13.160 of the two savage squeeze from the butt of the 0:43:13.160 --> 0:43:16.600 top paste. You know, she puts the tooth the toilet 0:43:16.640 --> 0:43:21.840 paper on the roll where the rolls under and staid over. Unbelievable. Nope. Um, 0:43:21.880 --> 0:43:24.040 it's just a lot of small things like that. Really, 0:43:24.360 --> 0:43:26.239 that's all she could really work on. That's when that's 0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:28.120 when you know, Yeah, you just moved in with someone 0:43:28.239 --> 0:43:32.239 where your biggest flowers on the toothpaste, the toilet man 0:43:33.160 --> 0:43:36.440 a huge man that under rolled. How how do you live? 0:43:36.480 --> 0:43:43.200 Like right? Like connections. There's a good thing because if 0:43:43.239 --> 0:43:45.680 you think that's okay, then there's some other things that 0:43:45.719 --> 0:43:47.719 you probably think okay that I'm not cool. Where the 0:43:47.719 --> 0:43:50.040 doctor gets it, man, he just gets it. And when 0:43:50.040 --> 0:43:52.120 I used to make the bed, Ashley would come in 0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:57.959 afterwards and start straining the bed out and I didn't. God, 0:43:58.040 --> 0:44:00.160 that would maybe some guys don't. We cannot do a 0:44:00.239 --> 0:44:05.880 good enough job that's able, Yeah, yours? What was the 0:44:05.960 --> 0:44:08.120 question was one thing you want your partner to work 0:44:08.160 --> 0:44:12.759 on I think to bounce off Dean's discussion about being 0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:17.400 an introvert. Actually, I love being with Ashley, but she 0:44:17.680 --> 0:44:20.839 is very much of a dependent where she could be 0:44:20.880 --> 0:44:23.120 with seven and never get tired of me. And I 0:44:23.160 --> 0:44:24.680 don't get tired of Ashley, but I do think there 0:44:24.680 --> 0:44:27.000 are times where I need to be Like even I'll 0:44:27.000 --> 0:44:29.120 go so we have like a little office where I 0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:31.480 have my Xbox, so I'll go and like play a 0:44:31.560 --> 0:44:36.160 video game and then literally like fifteen minutes in Jared like, baby, 0:44:36.239 --> 0:44:42.839 I need I need at least just give. Yeah, So 0:44:42.880 --> 0:44:44.600 that's probably the one thing she could work on and 0:44:44.719 --> 0:44:47.759 just you know, just be you give you like just 0:44:47.840 --> 0:44:52.359 skin houry, just to recompress. Well, and it goes back 0:44:52.400 --> 0:44:54.319 to the thing you're looking for, right certainty, that's what 0:44:54.360 --> 0:44:56.520 she's looking for. He's still there, He's still into me 0:44:56.520 --> 0:44:58.600 and this and this is still cool and so you 0:44:58.719 --> 0:45:01.680 just it's just it's just ways to reassure her of that. 0:45:02.360 --> 0:45:04.480 You know. It's like when it's like if you have 0:45:04.520 --> 0:45:07.760 a toddler and once they can kind of walk around 0:45:07.800 --> 0:45:10.279 and leave the room, they'll walk out of the room, 0:45:10.400 --> 0:45:12.359 but then they'll peek right back. The mature you're still there, 0:45:12.440 --> 0:45:14.239 so the same kind of difference in your job, but 0:45:14.280 --> 0:45:21.000 you still still here. Still Yeah, doctors, thank you so 0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:23.640 much for coming in. UM, that segment went on a 0:45:23.680 --> 0:45:27.960 lot longer than right. Good. We can, honest you talk 0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:29.960 to you forever and ever. But for our listeners out there, 0:45:29.960 --> 0:45:32.160 if you want to follow doctor Ish, go to his 0:45:32.200 --> 0:45:35.839 Instagram page Doctor Underscore Ish, Underscore Major, or be sure 0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:38.280 to check him out on Marriage boot Camp, Reality Stars 0:45:38.440 --> 0:45:41.240 Absolute When is that there? Season premiere is this Thursday 0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:43.919 at ten pm on we TVAZ hip Hop boot Camp 0:45:43.960 --> 0:45:45.839 All hip Hop House this time. Okay, great, so that's 0:45:45.840 --> 0:45:47.000 not the one that Caitlin and I are going to 0:45:47.040 --> 0:45:55.160 be I would love to check back in with you. 0:45:51.200 --> 0:46:05.680 It's all right, welcome back. Dr Ish has left the studio, 0:46:05.800 --> 0:46:09.640 but we do have some email questions. We have a 0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:11.759 video question we do before we get to tell you 0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:14.840 that I'm concerned about Jared Mark has a Jared question 0:46:15.040 --> 0:46:17.640 just because and this has come up before. I believe 0:46:17.680 --> 0:46:19.440 actually brought this up before, and as well as you 0:46:19.520 --> 0:46:21.799 brought this up before, I am concerned. I feel like 0:46:21.840 --> 0:46:26.440 you desperately went out of Los Angeles. UM. It's definitely 0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:29.440 a topic of conversation between Ashley and I, I wouldn't 0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:32.440 say desperately because of I love this. I love coming 0:46:32.440 --> 0:46:35.719 here in studio and recording. It's only once a week, 0:46:36.080 --> 0:46:39.799 so it's you know, obviously consistent. Uh. And then I 0:46:39.840 --> 0:46:42.279 also host h I do other hosting like I l 0:46:42.360 --> 0:46:44.960 A presents opportunities that just other parts of the country don't, 0:46:44.960 --> 0:46:46.960 which are awesome being able to do some of the 0:46:47.000 --> 0:46:48.760 things we had to do, including going to movie premiers, 0:46:48.840 --> 0:46:52.279 hosting things of that nature. But man, it's just an 0:46:52.280 --> 0:46:54.759 exhausting town to live in. I miss home. I missed 0:46:54.760 --> 0:46:57.480 the convenience of home. I missed my family, miss my friends. 0:46:57.480 --> 0:47:00.000 And I feel like I'm strongly from you. Yeah, I'm 0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:03.239 I'm I feel like I'm my worst version here and 0:47:03.320 --> 0:47:05.640 I wish I could be a better version of myself. 0:47:05.760 --> 0:47:10.799 And I find myself more confident and comfortable around um 0:47:11.400 --> 0:47:15.040 back home, probably just because it's you know, I'm so 0:47:15.120 --> 0:47:18.240 comfortable there between the people that I know, they're the places, 0:47:18.360 --> 0:47:20.279 the place you know that I've lived, grown up, so 0:47:20.320 --> 0:47:23.240 on and so forth. Um, So I missed that aspect 0:47:23.239 --> 0:47:25.000 of it, and Ashley can see it too. I think 0:47:25.040 --> 0:47:27.320 actually sees a different level of happiness from me. Whenever 0:47:27.360 --> 0:47:28.920 I'm home, and I think it hurts her too to 0:47:28.960 --> 0:47:32.440 see that, like I am a better version of myself 0:47:32.920 --> 0:47:36.600 depending on the location, which is sad but also true. 0:47:36.880 --> 0:47:42.000 So it is exhausting here, and it's it's it's a 0:47:42.000 --> 0:47:44.640 difficult place to live. What would you do there? Assuming 0:47:44.760 --> 0:47:47.160 the podcast doesn't transfer, which I don't know why I couldn't. 0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:50.279 Half of our hosts live in different cities. But let's 0:47:50.280 --> 0:47:52.200 say you couldn't do the podcast and you couldn't do 0:47:52.280 --> 0:47:54.200 the Instagram thing anymore, what do you see your life 0:47:54.440 --> 0:47:56.640 being like? Well, I think that's why the Instagram thing 0:47:56.680 --> 0:47:58.680 concerns me so much, because ideally I would love to 0:47:58.680 --> 0:48:01.480 open up my own bar. But the only way that's 0:48:01.480 --> 0:48:04.800 possible is if like we get to do this for hopefully, 0:48:04.880 --> 0:48:08.560 like do you more years? Maybe that's kind of like 0:48:08.680 --> 0:48:10.640 timeline actually, and I put on it, like to really 0:48:11.480 --> 0:48:14.600 have seed money to not only like you know, invest 0:48:14.600 --> 0:48:16.239 in the things we want to invest in, which is 0:48:16.280 --> 0:48:19.120 a future family house, things of that nature, but also 0:48:19.239 --> 0:48:22.719 have enough money to really open up a bar with 0:48:22.840 --> 0:48:25.880 only one or two other investors so I can really 0:48:26.000 --> 0:48:28.799 own and operate it. Because I've worked in hospitality for 0:48:29.239 --> 0:48:31.719 you know, gotten twelve years or something like that. So 0:48:32.080 --> 0:48:34.239 I have a good grasp of how to run uh 0:48:34.239 --> 0:48:36.920 an industry like that. And also, um, I have an 0:48:36.960 --> 0:48:39.759 idea of what I want to do, So the opportunity 0:48:39.800 --> 0:48:42.920 to implement that and and really have creative control over 0:48:43.080 --> 0:48:45.400 is something that would be great. So I think that 0:48:45.440 --> 0:48:50.920 would be the end goal again on you know, fortunately 0:48:51.000 --> 0:48:55.040 and unfortunately it is very dependent on on on us 0:48:55.080 --> 0:48:58.440 continuing to do what we do now. Uh so's the 0:48:58.520 --> 0:49:01.680 name of the bar? Uh So, I really like the 0:49:01.800 --> 0:49:05.879 name her. Ashley's mom's name is Audrey, so I love 0:49:05.960 --> 0:49:09.040 the idea of naming naming it Audrey's. I really like 0:49:09.080 --> 0:49:11.799 this barnet. My mom's name is Nancy, which I also 0:49:11.840 --> 0:49:14.920 think is adorable, but I my mom knows this. I 0:49:14.960 --> 0:49:16.880 like Audrey's better, Like, Hey, you want to go to 0:49:16.920 --> 0:49:19.719 audrey tonight. I think that's a really cute. And so 0:49:20.000 --> 0:49:21.440 I would love it to be more of like a 0:49:21.480 --> 0:49:25.480 coffee shop martini bar that I'm I'm kind of changing it. 0:49:25.480 --> 0:49:27.799 It might become more of a sports bar. I don't 0:49:27.840 --> 0:49:30.680 really know. But um there's a bar back home called 0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:32.840 main Street Coffee that I love, and it's a coffee 0:49:32.840 --> 0:49:37.720 shop slash Martini bar that's very small and intimate, fireplace, couches, chairs, 0:49:38.640 --> 0:49:43.560 very uh Mediterranean looking, and it's really like just not 0:49:43.600 --> 0:49:45.279 only a great date spot, but just a great spot 0:49:45.320 --> 0:49:48.160 to go and chill and talk and really just a 0:49:48.280 --> 0:49:51.560 great great area to really you just feel comfortable in it. 0:49:52.000 --> 0:49:53.799 So that's what I would like to open up. But 0:49:54.200 --> 0:49:56.840 you know, New England is also a huge sports market 0:49:56.880 --> 0:49:59.840 and I also love sports bars, so the idea of 0:49:59.840 --> 0:50:02.319 do mean that as well is very intriguing. So we'll see. 0:50:02.360 --> 0:50:05.839 But of course, you know that's like the ultimate goal, 0:50:06.120 --> 0:50:08.640 open up Audrey's and then open up audrey too, like 0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:16.120 in thet Yeah, there were or something, and I think 0:50:16.160 --> 0:50:19.239 actually the recent Bachelor news which was like Kendall and 0:50:19.320 --> 0:50:22.200 Joe broke that really hit home, I think for Ashley 0:50:22.239 --> 0:50:25.440 and I because from everything we know of it and 0:50:25.480 --> 0:50:27.919 I'm sure there is more to it, but the main 0:50:27.960 --> 0:50:30.600 reason they broke up with location because he just he 0:50:30.680 --> 0:50:32.239 was like, I need to go back to Chicago. I 0:50:32.239 --> 0:50:33.560 can't do it out here. You can't do it. So 0:50:33.600 --> 0:50:35.160 you're saying it sounds like you and actually might be 0:50:35.200 --> 0:50:37.399 happening to call it quits pretty soon. Yeah, we're probably 0:50:37.440 --> 0:50:40.279 gonna get a horse over. Of course you could be 0:50:40.400 --> 0:50:43.800 long distance. No, we would never. We actually has toyed 0:50:43.800 --> 0:50:47.080 with the idea of being bi coastal, but it's also 0:50:47.239 --> 0:50:51.360 just expensive to try to be bi coastal, and I'd 0:50:51.440 --> 0:50:55.960 rather save our money and just and surely not suck 0:50:56.000 --> 0:50:57.960 it up. I mean, I'm the luckiest guy live to 0:50:57.960 --> 0:51:01.480 be able to people would beg to live out here, 0:51:01.560 --> 0:51:04.040 you know, in Hollywood and Los Angeles, nice weather year round. 0:51:04.440 --> 0:51:08.080 You know it's I I I leave the gym and 0:51:08.400 --> 0:51:10.880 literally the Walk of Fame is right there, you know, 0:51:11.520 --> 0:51:13.600 I forget. I remember I was on the phone with 0:51:13.640 --> 0:51:15.080 my sister one time and I was like, oh, I'm 0:51:15.120 --> 0:51:16.840 driving down Sunset I'm going to this thing. And I 0:51:16.880 --> 0:51:20.520 was like, I'm driving down Sunset Bath. You know. I 0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:22.640 I think I maybe don't appreciate it enough. I've lived 0:51:22.640 --> 0:51:25.080 here twenty years. I still have these moments. Yeah, you know, 0:51:25.080 --> 0:51:28.880 you're driving down Sunset Bovard like there's Rodero Drive, and 0:51:28.920 --> 0:51:31.520 it's like, damn, that is when I really think about it. 0:51:31.560 --> 0:51:34.040 That is crazy. And and to my family back home, 0:51:34.239 --> 0:51:36.200 you know, they think it's the coolest thing. People save 0:51:36.239 --> 0:51:38.960 their money all year to come visit here. Yeah, but 0:51:39.000 --> 0:51:40.640 then I just think you live in the wrong point 0:51:40.680 --> 0:51:42.240 of town. I think you need to go more west, 0:51:43.160 --> 0:51:46.000 like beach area. Gods, I don't know if I could 0:51:46.000 --> 0:51:48.239 do Santa Monica. I don't see. I think maybe you 0:51:48.239 --> 0:51:50.400 should be more suburban. Maybe it would feel more like 0:51:50.440 --> 0:51:52.600 home if you were out in you know, a Gura 0:51:52.680 --> 0:51:55.359 or someplace. I like suburban areas, like I would love 0:51:55.400 --> 0:52:03.560 to live in Pasadena. Are you a pastt I'm Passadena adjacent, Glendale, 0:52:04.000 --> 0:52:08.680 Monrovia Trader Joe's. Oh that sounds fantastics, right, baby, and 0:52:08.760 --> 0:52:12.680 the gem of the foothills very nice. Is that why 0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:14.600 you want to live in more suburban area? Yeah, it 0:52:14.600 --> 0:52:17.000 feels like maybe are out there. It's great and it's 0:52:17.000 --> 0:52:19.400 not far from anything. It's really not far from anything. 0:52:19.520 --> 0:52:21.759 I to let to myself all the time. It's very 0:52:21.760 --> 0:52:26.320 close then where all the action is. Yeah, seeing yourself 0:52:26.360 --> 0:52:28.319 that or No, it's great. There's a lot of great 0:52:28.360 --> 0:52:30.319 suburban areas of Los Angeles where you can still have 0:52:30.360 --> 0:52:32.680 that l A. I didn't realize that. I didn't realize 0:52:32.719 --> 0:52:33.919 that when I got here, I was where we're gonna 0:52:33.960 --> 0:52:35.960 raise kids. It's actually some pretty great places to raise kids. 0:52:36.040 --> 0:52:38.320 I was driving the other day in Burbank and there 0:52:38.360 --> 0:52:40.520 there is areas of bird Bank where it was just 0:52:40.640 --> 0:52:43.600 it was trees and grass, and you're like, oh wow, 0:52:43.640 --> 0:52:47.200 this feels like a neighborhood, and uh yeah, you don't 0:52:47.200 --> 0:52:50.440 get that. The problem is actually is is because of 0:52:50.440 --> 0:52:52.120 a lot of things we do, actually feels like we 0:52:52.160 --> 0:52:54.560 need to be more central in which I get. But 0:52:54.760 --> 0:52:57.479 at the same time, if it is going to bring 0:52:57.560 --> 0:52:59.920 us a little bit more happiness, I think it is. 0:53:00.400 --> 0:53:03.239 I don't know. I should actually also convinced that if 0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:04.959 it's not close to my family, it's not gonna matter, 0:53:06.040 --> 0:53:09.879 so which I'm not whole fully convinced of. But why 0:53:09.880 --> 0:53:11.279 don't we to get your parents to move out to 0:53:11.360 --> 0:53:13.560 Los Angeles? No, they will never have it. My dad 0:53:13.560 --> 0:53:18.680 would lose his mind. Oh my god, the traffic. He 0:53:18.719 --> 0:53:22.560 can't literally he's in traffic for four minutes in Cranson, 0:53:22.640 --> 0:53:25.879 Rhode Island. I mean he is losing his mind. Yeah, 0:53:25.960 --> 0:53:28.520 I get that, But also just tell him to come 0:53:28.520 --> 0:53:31.239 out here for like an extended amount of time. Let's 0:53:31.239 --> 0:53:33.000 see if there's any spike in your happiness. It's just 0:53:33.040 --> 0:53:34.560 like you gotta start a b testing things, you know, 0:53:34.680 --> 0:53:36.800 Is it that you're missing your family. Is it that 0:53:36.800 --> 0:53:39.000 you're missing the location? Is it the combination of the two? 0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:40.920 Is it? What exactly is it? So maybe like I 0:53:40.960 --> 0:53:42.960 haven't come out like spent like a month in Los Angeles. 0:53:43.360 --> 0:53:47.360 It's definitely the combo of me both of it. But 0:53:47.360 --> 0:53:50.160 but yeah, I mean, and there are aspects of Los 0:53:50.200 --> 0:53:53.080 Angeles that are fantastic, just like any other part of 0:53:53.080 --> 0:53:55.480 the world in their aspects that I just don't enjoy it. 0:53:55.920 --> 0:53:57.080 I don't know, man, I hate to say it, but 0:53:57.080 --> 0:53:58.800 I just don't see it working out between you guys. 0:53:58.800 --> 0:54:01.040 I hope it does. I'm really glad Dean was a 0:54:01.080 --> 0:54:04.680 groomsman in my way it does. I just don't see it. 0:54:04.760 --> 0:54:06.560 I just don't. Do you have any Do you have any? 0:54:06.800 --> 0:54:10.360 Uh question? The other night, Scrubbing In with Becca Antonio 0:54:10.440 --> 0:54:12.840 had their first ever live podcast up in San Francisco 0:54:12.840 --> 0:54:15.520 and it went very well from all reports, And so 0:54:15.600 --> 0:54:18.120 he has a video that we got from a listener 0:54:18.200 --> 0:54:23.439 named his name is Helendada. Helenda has a question for you, 0:54:23.520 --> 0:54:26.200 and here it is from Helenda. Thank you for leather Jack. 0:54:26.239 --> 0:54:28.120 Thank you for taking some time before we play this 0:54:28.239 --> 0:54:30.920 to make the Scrubbing In live podcasts a little bit 0:54:30.960 --> 0:54:32.719 about help. I suck it, dude. I'm telling you. The 0:54:32.719 --> 0:54:36.719 almost famous live podcast was a lot about chant going 0:54:36.719 --> 0:54:39.920 and everything that really means a lot. Okay, my question 0:54:40.040 --> 0:54:43.319 is single, what am I doing wrong? I know I 0:54:43.360 --> 0:54:46.560 build the balls, but what am I doing wrong? Why 0:54:46.600 --> 0:54:52.359 do you build the balls? I don't know what. What's 0:54:52.400 --> 0:54:56.840 some advice? Well, a lot of info to go off? Yeah, 0:54:56.960 --> 0:54:59.120 Tore you were there to meet here, it's some advice 0:54:59.160 --> 0:55:02.359 that you and maybe have for her, because I don't 0:55:02.360 --> 0:55:04.680 want my advice. She wants a males perspective. No, I know, 0:55:04.719 --> 0:55:05.839 but I think we just need a little bit more 0:55:05.840 --> 0:55:08.080 information about Helenda, who she is, what she likes, what 0:55:08.160 --> 0:55:10.759 she dislikes, where she eats, maybe where she shops, like 0:55:10.800 --> 0:55:12.400 those types of things. Do you have any information you 0:55:12.440 --> 0:55:14.560 could help us? I do not, but I will say 0:55:14.640 --> 0:55:17.839 that you meet those people who right off the bat 0:55:17.880 --> 0:55:20.279 you just generally know are good humans of them, and 0:55:20.320 --> 0:55:22.200 she was one of those. And you could tell that. 0:55:23.160 --> 0:55:25.800 People who build up walls, you know, we all have those, 0:55:25.840 --> 0:55:27.600 But like, where do we go to break that down? 0:55:27.640 --> 0:55:29.960 How do you start the first step to be vulnerable 0:55:30.000 --> 0:55:32.279 towards someone or let someone in? You know, It's like 0:55:32.360 --> 0:55:33.600 I think that's what she kind of wants to know. 0:55:33.960 --> 0:55:35.920 I think had a lot of good Sorry, I was 0:55:35.920 --> 0:55:37.640 just gonna say. Let me say, if she's listening to 0:55:37.640 --> 0:55:40.400 this podcast, she's obviously a good human being. That's a 0:55:40.440 --> 0:55:43.720 great point. She's very pretty, she's where, she's well dressed, 0:55:44.120 --> 0:55:47.640 and I've spoken to her a number of times. She's 0:55:47.680 --> 0:55:50.000 she's very cool. Here's what I know about her. She 0:55:50.080 --> 0:55:54.480 likes to travel. She works in radio in the San 0:55:54.600 --> 0:56:00.760 Jose area. Um. She she is a very passionate human 0:56:01.360 --> 0:56:03.359 and she has a lot, a lot of love to give, 0:56:03.400 --> 0:56:05.080 and she has a song in her heart. I think 0:56:05.280 --> 0:56:08.280 a song in her heart. What does that mean? Sex music? Okay, 0:56:08.640 --> 0:56:11.400 I think that she could take Dr Issue's advice pretty 0:56:11.400 --> 0:56:13.719 thoroughly when he says things about like do the things 0:56:13.719 --> 0:56:15.799 that spark joy and you. I don't obviously we don't 0:56:15.800 --> 0:56:18.160 know about that. But maybe she's building up those walls 0:56:18.200 --> 0:56:21.440 because she's got like some insecurities, because she's unable to 0:56:21.480 --> 0:56:24.640 pursue and try the things that she's always yearned to. 0:56:25.280 --> 0:56:26.920 And that could open her up a little bit and 0:56:27.120 --> 0:56:29.280 allow her to be a little more vulnerable with other people. 0:56:29.960 --> 0:56:32.080 Um And then that you know, that will just naturally 0:56:32.080 --> 0:56:34.680 attract guys. Thirty three still pretty young. Let's be clear 0:56:34.680 --> 0:56:37.480 about that too, she said, thirty three single, I don't 0:56:37.480 --> 0:56:39.200 think that's that big of a deal. Like, you know, 0:56:39.200 --> 0:56:41.200 we have friends in our thirties who are still single, 0:56:41.239 --> 0:56:44.200 and they're they're thriving and doing their best. Oh, I 0:56:44.200 --> 0:56:46.239 I agree. I think it's very normal to be in 0:56:46.239 --> 0:56:49.319 your mid thirties and single nowadays. I also think that 0:56:49.400 --> 0:56:52.759 she could actively probably do a good job of uh, 0:56:52.800 --> 0:56:56.360 consciously working on bringing her walls down anytime she's meeting 0:56:56.360 --> 0:56:59.799 with someone, not being afraid to ask them out, or 0:57:00.080 --> 0:57:02.719 if they want to do something with her, making the 0:57:02.760 --> 0:57:05.720 first move, so on and so forth, or just even 0:57:05.760 --> 0:57:08.960 being willing to uh. I think a lot of people 0:57:08.960 --> 0:57:12.200 who build walls up, they immediately kind of run away 0:57:12.280 --> 0:57:15.080 from a relationship that starts turning good. So I think 0:57:15.080 --> 0:57:18.800 being aware of that and actively trying to work through 0:57:18.800 --> 0:57:21.440 that with whoever partner she's on a date with, but 0:57:21.560 --> 0:57:23.080 also a good step in the right direction. But also 0:57:23.120 --> 0:57:24.960 stop saying it, stop anouncing it to the world. I 0:57:24.960 --> 0:57:26.760 feel like the more she says those types of things, 0:57:26.840 --> 0:57:28.640 the more she's like willing it to do. Like positive 0:57:28.640 --> 0:57:30.720 affirmation sort of thing like she's willing it into existence. 0:57:30.720 --> 0:57:33.600 So maybe like work on it, but maybe like work 0:57:33.600 --> 0:57:35.440 on it quietly, you know what I mean, Like or 0:57:35.480 --> 0:57:36.800 just don't don't say it that I don't say it 0:57:36.840 --> 0:57:39.080 out loud, but in the moment that you know a 0:57:39.160 --> 0:57:41.800 wall is going up, recognize it, don't say it out 0:57:42.520 --> 0:57:45.640 and just barrel through it and help I suck it, dive, 0:57:46.080 --> 0:57:50.000 Help I suck live podcast. We're gonna hopefully have Helenda 0:57:50.080 --> 0:57:52.200 there and maybe we can check in with her that 0:57:55.360 --> 0:57:57.360 we got our producer right here. So sorry, I got 0:57:57.400 --> 0:58:01.880 a phone called this is ridiculous. It suck Army. We 0:58:01.920 --> 0:58:04.080 need to have a live podcast. We're going to figure 0:58:04.120 --> 0:58:06.040 this out. We're gonna have one. We should do you 0:58:06.120 --> 0:58:09.720 understand the energy in the room that will be happening 0:58:09.800 --> 0:58:12.240 with a help I secon dating live podcast. There's going 0:58:12.320 --> 0:58:14.280 to be contained. It's gonna be so much swag. It's 0:58:14.320 --> 0:58:16.360 going to be off the chart. There were chance at 0:58:16.360 --> 0:58:18.920 describing in not like when everyone's in their seats, but 0:58:18.960 --> 0:58:22.680 in the hallway they'd be like oh, and I'm like, oh, 0:58:22.760 --> 0:58:25.480 that's the army, And I just realized, I'm like, why 0:58:25.520 --> 0:58:28.680 is that normal for me to stay? Now? Mark? Do 0:58:28.680 --> 0:58:30.840 you have any email or anything I do. Cassidy has 0:58:30.840 --> 0:58:34.200 a question for you, Dean. She's Minnesota. She says, Dean, 0:58:34.280 --> 0:58:36.040 I have no idea how to word this. Will bear 0:58:36.080 --> 0:58:38.919 with me. You and I have a lot of weird similarities, 0:58:38.920 --> 0:58:41.040 but not in the best way. I've really liked listening 0:58:41.040 --> 0:58:43.200 to you talk about how you've handled your trauma and 0:58:43.240 --> 0:58:45.920 your outlook on being different if you will. When I 0:58:45.960 --> 0:58:48.200 was sixteen, my best friend passed. When I was three, 0:58:48.240 --> 0:58:50.320 my father passed. I have a brother who's five years 0:58:50.360 --> 0:58:52.280 younger than I am. That I feel like it's relatable 0:58:52.280 --> 0:58:55.040 to you in your story. So my question is what 0:58:55.120 --> 0:58:56.880 advice do you have for young man want to come 0:58:56.920 --> 0:58:59.520 with the handling depression and emptiness from that type of loss. 0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:01.760 Do you have any suggestions or things that helped you 0:59:01.800 --> 0:59:03.760 get ready to heal from your loss so that helped 0:59:03.760 --> 0:59:05.680 pull you out of that and accept it. It's a 0:59:05.720 --> 0:59:07.960 heavy question, pretty heavy. Yeah, I really don't think I 0:59:08.040 --> 0:59:09.760 have much advice to get. When I look back on 0:59:09.840 --> 0:59:12.920 my like late teens, early twenties, I was pretty devious. 0:59:12.960 --> 0:59:14.760 I would you know, I drank a lot with my friends. 0:59:14.760 --> 0:59:18.040 I was at quintessential called kid that would more or less, 0:59:18.080 --> 0:59:20.240 get blacked out on weekends and like not really have 0:59:20.280 --> 0:59:21.920 a care in the world other than like where is 0:59:21.960 --> 0:59:23.960 the next party. So when I was that age, when 0:59:23.960 --> 0:59:25.720 I was going dealing with all that kind of loss, 0:59:25.760 --> 0:59:28.080 like I wouldn't say I was depressed, but I was 0:59:28.080 --> 0:59:30.520 definitely lost as a human being. And I think that 0:59:30.560 --> 0:59:32.320 maybe I was using that type of stuff to mask 0:59:32.400 --> 0:59:34.400 that type of a depression or whatever it might be. 0:59:34.480 --> 0:59:35.960 But again, I look back at those times and I 0:59:36.000 --> 0:59:39.160 don't necessarily think that I was depressed, but I would 0:59:39.200 --> 0:59:43.440 never I would never tell someone to use my experience 0:59:43.480 --> 0:59:45.240 as a blueprint to get through it all because, like 0:59:45.280 --> 0:59:47.080 I said, like I was, I was such a I 0:59:47.120 --> 0:59:49.800 was such a dickhead when I was you know, eighteen 0:59:49.840 --> 0:59:56.680 to seven, basically I was. And I guess when I 0:59:56.760 --> 0:59:58.560 handled that kind of stuff, like, yeah, I had a good, 0:59:59.200 --> 1:00:01.959 cruel core group of friends, and although like I didn't 1:00:01.960 --> 1:00:04.520 talk to them about what I was going through emotionally 1:00:04.560 --> 1:00:07.000 or whatever, I knew that I could kind of like 1:00:07.120 --> 1:00:09.800 lean on them to maybe get my mind off of 1:00:09.840 --> 1:00:12.680 things or you know whatever whatever I needed for them. 1:00:12.680 --> 1:00:15.800 So my advice to this person is find a solid 1:00:15.800 --> 1:00:19.720 friend group. You know, maybe don't like unload all of 1:00:19.760 --> 1:00:21.480 your baggage onto them or anything like that. But just 1:00:21.520 --> 1:00:23.480 you know, make sure that you're around people that want 1:00:23.520 --> 1:00:25.840 the best for you and and and wish you know, 1:00:25.880 --> 1:00:27.680 you wish you as well as as well as the 1:00:27.720 --> 1:00:30.240 possibly can. But again, like when I look back to 1:00:30.280 --> 1:00:32.600 that time, I don't think that the way that I 1:00:32.680 --> 1:00:34.960 got through it was really admirable in any sort of way, 1:00:35.040 --> 1:00:36.600 you know what I mean. Did you ever go to 1:00:36.640 --> 1:00:39.760 therapy as a teenager or I went once when I 1:00:39.760 --> 1:00:41.560 was like fifteen after my mom died, but I hated it. 1:00:41.560 --> 1:00:42.960 I don't think that you really get anything out of 1:00:43.040 --> 1:00:45.440 therapy unless you elect to go on your own accord, 1:00:45.920 --> 1:00:48.360 and I did that obviously last year when I was 1:00:48.360 --> 1:00:50.520 twenty six. I think I talked about on this podcast 1:00:50.520 --> 1:00:52.920 a little bit. Um. What I'm saying is, would you 1:00:52.960 --> 1:00:57.600 maybe advise or give advice if he should only go 1:00:57.600 --> 1:01:00.520 to therapy if he thinks he could benefit from into therapy. 1:01:00.760 --> 1:01:03.320 Therapy sucks if you don't want to be there, you know, 1:01:03.400 --> 1:01:06.480 like if if Cassidy, who is the sister um and 1:01:06.800 --> 1:01:08.560 her brother is dealing with this thing, if Cassie is 1:01:08.600 --> 1:01:10.680 the one that's like, hey, listen, like I want you 1:01:10.680 --> 1:01:12.520 to go to therapy. I think that you know you'll 1:01:12.520 --> 1:01:14.960 benefit from it, And he doesn't want to go, and 1:01:15.000 --> 1:01:16.840 he goes he's not gonna get anything from it, and 1:01:16.840 --> 1:01:19.600 I think, do you think she should just suggest it 1:01:19.880 --> 1:01:22.880 and then let him decide. I also don't think that's 1:01:22.880 --> 1:01:24.800 the best idea either. One of my biggest pet peeves 1:01:24.840 --> 1:01:27.240 is when you see someone, like even if someone on 1:01:27.280 --> 1:01:29.600 the Bachelor or someone going through something, and then you'll 1:01:29.600 --> 1:01:31.480 see like a complete stranger. And obviously Cassie is not 1:01:31.480 --> 1:01:33.920 a complete stranger to brother, but like when people are 1:01:33.920 --> 1:01:36.480 like saying like, oh, go to therapy, like seek out therapy. 1:01:36.480 --> 1:01:39.040 I think you'd benefit from therapy, it's like it's kind 1:01:39.040 --> 1:01:40.600 of a knock in a sense, and I don't think 1:01:40.640 --> 1:01:43.760 that that's going to really spark interest in that person 1:01:43.800 --> 1:01:47.320 going to therapy. But coming from Cassidy like I'm a 1:01:47.360 --> 1:01:49.080 little too stubborn. Like if someone would have come to 1:01:49.080 --> 1:01:50.360 me and we're like, hey, I think you should go 1:01:50.400 --> 1:01:53.080 to therapy for this, whatever the reason is, I probably 1:01:53.120 --> 1:01:55.880 be like, you don't know me any better than you 1:01:55.920 --> 1:01:59.280 know so true, I completely understand where you're coming from. 1:01:59.400 --> 1:02:02.920 I think it's more reflection on society that it's considered 1:02:02.960 --> 1:02:05.760 a knock if someone says, hey, I think therapy might 1:02:05.760 --> 1:02:07.600 be healthy for you. I just think that it's not 1:02:07.640 --> 1:02:10.640 any again, different situation because Cassie and him are brother 1:02:10.680 --> 1:02:12.520 and sister. But when people come and say, like, you 1:02:12.560 --> 1:02:15.320 should get therapy, they're stranger who yet an idiot who 1:02:15.360 --> 1:02:16.920 says that it also could be a little lazy, Like 1:02:16.960 --> 1:02:19.280 it's not they don't. They just like you need therapy, 1:02:19.400 --> 1:02:21.680 like they don't really know your situation completely thoroughly, and 1:02:21.720 --> 1:02:24.160 they're trying to be helpful of course. But that's why 1:02:24.240 --> 1:02:26.200 I think it's different for her sister to talk to 1:02:26.280 --> 1:02:28.360 her brother about it. Like, I'm sure if one of 1:02:28.360 --> 1:02:30.280 your brothers talked to you and said, hey, I think 1:02:30.400 --> 1:02:32.440 you know, maybe I should do this, maybe you should 1:02:32.440 --> 1:02:34.080 do this for just the trauma that we've been through. 1:02:34.160 --> 1:02:37.000 I think it's different than certainly someone on Night two 1:02:37.080 --> 1:02:40.760 of The Bachelor coming up and saying, hey, you need therapy, bro. Yeah. Well, 1:02:40.760 --> 1:02:42.720 one thing one thing I did when I was younger 1:02:42.720 --> 1:02:45.040 that I think that Cassie's brother could maybe benefit from 1:02:45.120 --> 1:02:47.400 is I did it a few times. I didn't do 1:02:47.440 --> 1:02:49.320 it as often as looking back as I should have. 1:02:49.680 --> 1:02:51.880 But like it's good. It's it's okay to like sit 1:02:51.960 --> 1:02:54.120 there and just think about how sad you are. Like 1:02:54.160 --> 1:02:56.240 you can sit there and be upset about something and 1:02:56.280 --> 1:02:58.360 don't like try to escape that thought. Like at least 1:02:58.360 --> 1:03:01.120 like think about it, internalize it, and process it, and 1:03:01.160 --> 1:03:03.320 allow yourself to process it. If you're crying, Like especially 1:03:03.320 --> 1:03:05.520 for the guy, you know, he's twenty years old at 1:03:05.520 --> 1:03:07.080 this point, it's like it kind of sucks being a 1:03:07.080 --> 1:03:09.000 twenty year old guy that's gonna be crying, right, But 1:03:09.520 --> 1:03:11.600 if you're like maybe alone in your room or even 1:03:11.640 --> 1:03:13.360 if you're you know, you need to like step away 1:03:13.400 --> 1:03:15.200 from people and like take a second and just like 1:03:15.320 --> 1:03:18.520 internalize it, process it, allow yourself to feel that way 1:03:18.600 --> 1:03:20.360 because then later on, like you're gonna have a bunch 1:03:20.360 --> 1:03:23.120 of better time handling it. And don't be afraid. It's like, yes, 1:03:23.160 --> 1:03:25.439 distractions are okay too. I think like sports is a 1:03:25.480 --> 1:03:27.960 is a good distraction, especially when you're that age. Um, 1:03:28.080 --> 1:03:30.280 I took the root of both sports and partying. I would, 1:03:30.280 --> 1:03:32.040 like I said, I would never suggested to go out 1:03:32.040 --> 1:03:34.360 and get drunk to handle your with your depression. But 1:03:34.880 --> 1:03:37.160 um that's my main advice is I internalize it, and 1:03:37.160 --> 1:03:39.680 that's something that uh I did a few times when 1:03:39.720 --> 1:03:42.280 I was that age, but I wish I did more 1:03:42.320 --> 1:03:45.520 of because I think it's beneficial to like dwell on 1:03:45.560 --> 1:03:47.880 that stuff a little bit. Yeah. The only reason I suggested, 1:03:47.920 --> 1:03:50.560 maybe Casside, Casside, you're talking about the door brother from 1:03:50.560 --> 1:03:52.640 an outside or listening to that Dean obviously knows better 1:03:52.640 --> 1:03:55.920 than I, um, just because when you said you felt 1:03:55.960 --> 1:03:58.440 like you couldn't talk to your friends about it, and 1:03:58.440 --> 1:04:01.040 then even suggested to Cassidy's they're about like, get your friends, 1:04:01.080 --> 1:04:03.880 don't unload all your baggage. But do you think from 1:04:03.880 --> 1:04:07.200 your own personal experience being someone in this position, that 1:04:07.480 --> 1:04:10.200 it would be healthier for you to unload your baggage 1:04:10.240 --> 1:04:11.960 to someone to get it off your chest. I can 1:04:12.040 --> 1:04:15.720 only speak from my experience, and before it's it's actually 1:04:15.800 --> 1:04:18.480 kind of embarrassing is because before I went on Bachelorette 1:04:18.840 --> 1:04:20.600 and before my wonder one with Rachel, when I like 1:04:20.640 --> 1:04:22.600 talked about my mom passing when I was fifteen, and 1:04:22.880 --> 1:04:24.840 obviously I have a bunch of other close friends that 1:04:24.840 --> 1:04:26.000 I've died when I was a kid too, Like I 1:04:26.040 --> 1:04:27.360 never talked about it, so even like some of my 1:04:27.360 --> 1:04:29.200 closest friends didn't know that. I didn't have a mom, 1:04:29.240 --> 1:04:30.919 you know, like that type of thing. And I think 1:04:31.200 --> 1:04:34.120 that's why I say, don't unload all your baggage, but 1:04:34.200 --> 1:04:36.320 you can still obviously like inform them of what's what 1:04:36.360 --> 1:04:38.360 you're going through. But what I did personally was I 1:04:38.400 --> 1:04:40.880 just kind of I didn't tell anyone. No one knew 1:04:40.920 --> 1:04:43.960 about it, uh, and it like kind of made for 1:04:44.000 --> 1:04:47.040 some awkward tension later on. But obviously, like once I 1:04:47.040 --> 1:04:48.960 started opening up about it and sharing it more and 1:04:49.000 --> 1:04:50.600 more with the people that were closer to me, the 1:04:50.640 --> 1:04:52.280 better I felt about it, the better I think the 1:04:52.280 --> 1:04:54.240 closer we were able to connect, and like obviously we 1:04:54.240 --> 1:04:57.240 were all able to deal with it together. But personal experience, 1:04:57.320 --> 1:04:59.560 I didn't speak enough about it. And I think that 1:05:00.480 --> 1:05:02.440 obviously you can kind of gauge personally how much you 1:05:02.440 --> 1:05:05.440 should be sharing, but uh, you know, maybe start lightly 1:05:05.520 --> 1:05:07.600 and then like as you find people that you can 1:05:07.640 --> 1:05:10.760 like confidently speak to and figure that out with like 1:05:10.800 --> 1:05:13.800 obviously uh, confiding them a little bit more. But I 1:05:13.840 --> 1:05:16.480 don't know, that's a that's a that's a heavy, heavy question. Well, 1:05:16.480 --> 1:05:18.760 I thought your advice about allowing yourself to feel it 1:05:18.920 --> 1:05:21.440 and experience the emotion I think that's actually really good advice. 1:05:21.480 --> 1:05:23.400 And what Dr Is said too. You know, as kids, 1:05:23.480 --> 1:05:25.800 as young boys growing up, like we're we're taught to 1:05:26.040 --> 1:05:28.080 act tough and like push through. I wanted to ask him, 1:05:28.080 --> 1:05:30.680 what is the right how do you handle that? Because 1:05:30.680 --> 1:05:33.640 when when my daughter's falling skin their knee, I'm more 1:05:33.640 --> 1:05:37.040 of a your fine, everything's cool, like it's okay, it's okay, 1:05:37.200 --> 1:05:40.680 we're I think that my wife doesn't do that, and 1:05:40.720 --> 1:05:42.040 so I think it makes me look like kind of 1:05:42.080 --> 1:05:44.160 a jerk when when my wife's like, oh you poor 1:05:44.200 --> 1:05:46.000 thing came here and I'm like, you're fine, get up. 1:05:46.280 --> 1:05:48.280 It makes me feel like a jerk. But I feel 1:05:48.280 --> 1:05:49.760 like in the long run, they'll be better off if 1:05:49.760 --> 1:05:52.600 they're able to shake off minor things like that. Well, 1:05:52.600 --> 1:05:54.960 I think bank, I didn't tell you you're fine, get up. 1:05:54.960 --> 1:05:56.720 You know what I'm saying, Like it's a skin knee, 1:05:56.760 --> 1:06:01.080 you're fine. I mean from an outsider, that seems pretty okay, 1:06:01.400 --> 1:06:04.000 Like it's not like a traumatic experience happened and you 1:06:04.040 --> 1:06:06.320 said you're fine, don't talk about it. Your fine. I mean, 1:06:06.320 --> 1:06:08.680 there's a scrapeknee, I'm sure, like you said your daughter 1:06:08.720 --> 1:06:11.200 broke her ankle. You're not gonna a totally different situation. 1:06:12.160 --> 1:06:13.920 That was a different situation when when I was in 1:06:14.000 --> 1:06:16.640 high school. My girlfriend at the time, she was a babysitter, 1:06:16.680 --> 1:06:19.320 you know, as most high school girls are, and she 1:06:19.400 --> 1:06:21.040 was like a tomboy, and she was like, you know 1:06:21.120 --> 1:06:23.120 super I guess I didn't really know how to put it, 1:06:23.120 --> 1:06:25.560 but she when she would babysit, uh, the kid would 1:06:25.560 --> 1:06:27.000 like fall. It's like a three or four year old kid. 1:06:27.280 --> 1:06:29.000 Obviously your your daughter is a little older than that, 1:06:29.040 --> 1:06:31.080 but uh. And every time that they would fall and 1:06:31.120 --> 1:06:33.360 hurt themselves, she would like, instead of like get up 1:06:33.360 --> 1:06:34.920 your fine or like, oh, let's like brush off, she 1:06:34.920 --> 1:06:36.520 would like cheer them on and be like that was 1:06:36.560 --> 1:06:38.280 so sick, Like that was the most awesome thing. And 1:06:38.320 --> 1:06:39.600 then they would jump up and they'd be like whoa, 1:06:39.760 --> 1:06:42.960 that was really cool evening, you know. So as I 1:06:43.000 --> 1:06:44.560 saw that, that's how I've always kind of decided I 1:06:44.600 --> 1:06:46.560 would raise my kids, like if they fall and hurt themselves, 1:06:46.640 --> 1:06:47.919 you just like cheer them on and be like, dude, 1:06:47.920 --> 1:06:52.680 that was epic positive reinforcement with pain. Yeah, I mean, 1:06:53.080 --> 1:06:54.520 they don't really know what, they don't know anybody. They 1:06:54.600 --> 1:06:56.480 just like they're they're reacting to how you react. So 1:06:56.520 --> 1:06:57.840 if you react like, oh my god, are you okay? 1:06:58.080 --> 1:07:00.240 Oh I'm gonna cry, because that's what they That's what 1:07:00.240 --> 1:07:02.400 I was gonna say. I've seen with friends like it 1:07:02.440 --> 1:07:04.480 all depends on the parents reaction, Like if a kid 1:07:04.560 --> 1:07:07.080 falls down and like, oh my god, are you okay? 1:07:07.080 --> 1:07:09.440 And then the kid will start just seeing their reaction 1:07:09.480 --> 1:07:12.360 and compared to when they say, okay, here we go, 1:07:12.400 --> 1:07:15.280 we're up, we're fine, and then they'll be fine to 1:07:15.320 --> 1:07:17.560 shake it off. I think it's a very good skill 1:07:17.640 --> 1:07:19.520 to have in life because you're gonna chake a lot 1:07:19.520 --> 1:07:21.240 of stuff off. And when you're at age like nothing 1:07:21.360 --> 1:07:24.040 really like you're a foot and half tall, you're falling 1:07:24.040 --> 1:07:25.880 on the ground. You know what I mean? You go 1:07:25.880 --> 1:07:28.360 on that far right. I didn't want to talk about 1:07:28.400 --> 1:07:30.600 this. This This was sent in by somebody in Marianne who 1:07:30.760 --> 1:07:33.880 got dumped via text, which I think we're anti anti 1:07:34.040 --> 1:07:35.800 the text to dump. Sure, I think we're past that. 1:07:36.560 --> 1:07:37.840 I was gonna read it to you because she wants 1:07:37.840 --> 1:07:39.959 to know why guys sends stuff like this. She says, 1:07:40.000 --> 1:07:42.880 Hey Maryanne. He says, hey, marry Anne. I hope you 1:07:42.920 --> 1:07:44.800 had a good weekend. Sorry, I was so m I A. 1:07:45.200 --> 1:07:47.520 My work retreat was fun, but this bronchitis was kicking 1:07:47.560 --> 1:07:50.320 my butt. Anyway. I wanted to reach out to you 1:07:50.360 --> 1:07:52.640 because I think it's probably best for me that I 1:07:52.720 --> 1:07:55.120 take a step back and focus on things other than 1:07:55.160 --> 1:07:58.240 a relationship. Truth is, I'm a bit overwhelmed at the 1:07:58.280 --> 1:08:00.480 moment upon realizing my next three week agend it's not 1:08:00.560 --> 1:08:04.840 until March fourteenth. Emoji with the sick face. Yeah, I 1:08:04.880 --> 1:08:08.160 don't know how that fits. I'm not sure how that happened, 1:08:08.440 --> 1:08:10.600 but with me being so busy, it does not seem 1:08:10.680 --> 1:08:13.120 fair to only be able to half heartedly pursue a 1:08:13.160 --> 1:08:16.439 relationship with someone. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know 1:08:16.520 --> 1:08:19.040 you and think you are very attractive, smart, funny, and 1:08:19.120 --> 1:08:22.400 of extreme quality. I just don't see myself being able 1:08:22.439 --> 1:08:24.160 to take the time to pursue you the way I 1:08:24.200 --> 1:08:26.400 want to or the way I think you deserve. I 1:08:26.400 --> 1:08:28.719 hope this makes sense. I would love to remain friends, 1:08:28.720 --> 1:08:30.680 and who knows what will happen in the future. Not 1:08:30.720 --> 1:08:34.000 sure if you think I oh and quotes you an explanation, 1:08:34.560 --> 1:08:36.320 but I personally feel like we had enough of a 1:08:36.320 --> 1:08:38.519 connection and wanted to be forthright and clear with you 1:08:38.560 --> 1:08:41.559 so that there was no gray area. Perhaps when it's warmer, 1:08:41.760 --> 1:08:44.880 you can teach me tennis. I hope you enjoy slash, 1:08:44.960 --> 1:08:49.599 enjoyed your family time. What's the douche level on this one? 1:08:49.680 --> 1:08:51.760 Pretty high? It's pretty so I think. So I kind 1:08:51.760 --> 1:08:53.760 of want to just be a contrarian though, and like 1:08:53.800 --> 1:08:56.479 we should fight over this, so I'll take Let me 1:08:56.520 --> 1:09:00.080 say I'm I'm anti this guy for the sake of 1:09:00.280 --> 1:09:04.240 the argument. Let's let's go Okay, let's find out how 1:09:04.280 --> 1:09:06.880 long have they been dating. That's the biggest question, mar, 1:09:06.880 --> 1:09:09.840 because I'm actually not against a text message ending things. 1:09:09.920 --> 1:09:13.599 If it was one or two dates, Judging the sheer 1:09:13.680 --> 1:09:15.120 length of this message, I'm going to say it was 1:09:15.120 --> 1:09:16.679 a while, it was more than one or two dates, 1:09:16.800 --> 1:09:19.559 or maybe he was just trying to be Overlea. Now, 1:09:19.720 --> 1:09:22.360 this is at least a ten date minimum length text. 1:09:22.800 --> 1:09:27.160 You can't determine that. I object. Your forensic analysis proved 1:09:27.160 --> 1:09:29.720 that they've been on at least ten dates. Also, they're 1:09:29.760 --> 1:09:31.960 on amoji level too. He can send emojis and text 1:09:32.000 --> 1:09:34.519 that's pretty. You know, that's pretty. That is a level 1:09:34.560 --> 1:09:38.120 to achieve. So I disagree. I feel like guys tory 1:09:38.160 --> 1:09:40.200 can do. Guys send emojis to you all the time 1:09:40.200 --> 1:09:42.120 that you don't really know. Well. I think when you're 1:09:42.120 --> 1:09:44.040 sending a breakup text, you're like trying to make light 1:09:44.080 --> 1:09:47.000 of it. So I don't think you could really put 1:09:47.000 --> 1:09:50.000 that as a level of how Yeah, he's been like, oh, 1:09:50.120 --> 1:09:52.719 I'm so what about your football point? Does he send emojis? 1:09:53.760 --> 1:09:57.479 He definitely doesn't, I think, so I send so many 1:09:57.600 --> 1:09:59.439 so I black out all the others. Yeah, I'm a 1:09:59.479 --> 1:10:03.040 big emoji spporter as well. I also think that he 1:10:03.200 --> 1:10:06.040 is dating another woman and he is trying to let 1:10:06.040 --> 1:10:08.680 her down quote unquote gently. Where are you getting this 1:10:08.720 --> 1:10:10.800 information from? Um? I just think that he was a 1:10:10.800 --> 1:10:14.320 little too overly complimentary. You're so attractive, funny, smart, and 1:10:14.360 --> 1:10:17.320 of extreme quality, but I just don't have any time, 1:10:17.640 --> 1:10:19.519 you know? Is that him keeping her on the bench 1:10:19.520 --> 1:10:21.880 a little bit? Like? Probably? The thing is this guy 1:10:21.880 --> 1:10:24.600 definitely has time, like if he wants to, like you, 1:10:24.600 --> 1:10:26.360 don't I agree with Like, if you want to have 1:10:26.400 --> 1:10:28.400 time for someone, you'll make time for them. But all 1:10:28.439 --> 1:10:30.800 this person is doing is like, look, he could be like, look, 1:10:30.800 --> 1:10:32.160 I'm busy. I might not be able to see you 1:10:32.240 --> 1:10:33.720 very much, but I would still like to talk to you. 1:10:33.800 --> 1:10:38.000 That's like, that's how you would maintain the relationship. But 1:10:38.360 --> 1:10:40.920 in my opinion, Jake is dating another woman and he 1:10:40.960 --> 1:10:42.760 likes that prospect a little bit more. Maybe she's of 1:10:42.760 --> 1:10:46.240 a little bit more extreme quality, and he's doing her 1:10:46.280 --> 1:10:48.960 best to let Maryan down lightly here. I don't think 1:10:49.000 --> 1:10:53.800 he sucks because I'm trying allending this guy. You know, 1:10:53.880 --> 1:10:56.320 I'll take it. Would you rather be ghost it or 1:10:56.360 --> 1:10:58.000 do you have a weird text that you're like, at 1:10:58.040 --> 1:11:00.800 least I know it's like the guy like owned up, 1:11:01.920 --> 1:11:03.720 like a phone call. Maybe maybe not even a phone call. 1:11:03.760 --> 1:11:05.759 I think I would actually prefer a text. Just shoot 1:11:05.760 --> 1:11:08.320 me a text, let me think about it, or not 1:11:08.400 --> 1:11:10.880 respond like the message move on. But like you're not 1:11:10.880 --> 1:11:12.760 getting ghosted, And if you're on the phone, you would 1:11:12.760 --> 1:11:15.000 have been like, oh that's cool. No, yeah, totally fine 1:11:15.040 --> 1:11:16.960 to get it and get it. I'm busy too. We're 1:11:17.040 --> 1:11:18.840 giving you a text. It's a cop out. Take it. 1:11:18.880 --> 1:11:20.760 When the bar that you're comparing everything too is the 1:11:20.800 --> 1:11:22.680 one that's in the dirt, everything is obviously gonna look 1:11:22.680 --> 1:11:25.200 a little bit better than everything is better than She's right. 1:11:25.280 --> 1:11:27.800 Ghosting is so common. Right now, he's literally owning up that. 1:11:27.840 --> 1:11:31.519 He's like, I'm not here. I understand that ghosting is common. 1:11:31.560 --> 1:11:34.240 That doesn't mean ghosting isn't Ghosting is the worst thing 1:11:34.240 --> 1:11:35.840 you could possibly do when you break up with someone, 1:11:35.920 --> 1:11:38.240 right Just because this is one step up from that, 1:11:38.320 --> 1:11:39.960 it doesn't make it an okay thing to do, not 1:11:40.080 --> 1:11:43.000 a one step up. He's clearly expressed guys don't talk 1:11:43.040 --> 1:11:46.360 about their emotions, and he's literally saying, hey, I'm really 1:11:46.360 --> 1:11:52.720 at capacity. But because you're breaking up with someone, you're 1:11:52.760 --> 1:11:54.759 not going to be like, hey, you kind of suck. Sorry, 1:11:55.640 --> 1:11:57.439 You're gonna be like, hey, I'm actually so sorry, Like 1:11:57.479 --> 1:11:59.680 I enjoyed her time, I really did it. Just it's 1:11:59.680 --> 1:12:01.200 all going to sound like BS when you're in a breakup, 1:12:01.200 --> 1:12:03.599 because you're like, screw you, you're breaking my heart. But 1:12:03.680 --> 1:12:07.519 like he's he's literally expressing that, like how many dates? 1:12:07.600 --> 1:12:09.760 How many dates do you get to the level where 1:12:10.080 --> 1:12:13.880 breakup text is ridiculous? Like, for example, if he did 1:12:13.880 --> 1:12:15.320 go on ten dates, do you think he should have 1:12:15.360 --> 1:12:17.719 texted her or called her or saw her in person 1:12:17.720 --> 1:12:20.560 and broke up with her then? Or like there's a 1:12:20.840 --> 1:12:22.560 right way to break up with someone. Can we just 1:12:22.600 --> 1:12:25.120 clear the air on that too, because if you're gonna call, 1:12:25.200 --> 1:12:27.160 it's still awkward. You're not gonna feel great. Like you're 1:12:27.160 --> 1:12:29.439 always going able to critique somebody's breakup, but if they're 1:12:29.479 --> 1:12:31.679 dating for three months, I think a text message is dumb. 1:12:32.000 --> 1:12:33.599 I mean, I think it could maybe do a phone call, 1:12:33.640 --> 1:12:36.840 but I still would be like, okay, by you still 1:12:36.840 --> 1:12:39.559 feel weird of This guy is very complimentary. He has 1:12:39.600 --> 1:12:43.559 said that she is extreme quality, of extreme quality, written 1:12:45.000 --> 1:12:48.280 more funny, attractive. It's written like we put ten thousand 1:12:48.640 --> 1:12:50.920 like lame breakup text in you an ai that wrote 1:12:50.920 --> 1:12:53.000 its own. That's what it sounds like. That's exactly what 1:12:53.080 --> 1:12:55.120 I think too. I think that breakup texts are fine 1:12:55.160 --> 1:12:57.719 depending on the length of the relationship, right, but this guy, 1:12:58.160 --> 1:13:00.760 something about the length of the message really just irks me. 1:13:00.840 --> 1:13:03.760 Like he was he didn't want to he wanted to 1:13:03.800 --> 1:13:05.439 seem overly nice, right, and so that's why he was 1:13:05.479 --> 1:13:08.800 like overly descriptive out here. Just kicked my leg, he wrote, 1:13:10.720 --> 1:13:12.880 he wrote so much and tried to like over like 1:13:12.920 --> 1:13:15.760 he almost like over analyzed and over explained why he 1:13:15.800 --> 1:13:22.400 was trying to be breaking someone. No, No, I think 1:13:22.400 --> 1:13:24.240 I would rather honestly have the four paragraphs and like 1:13:24.280 --> 1:13:28.160 at least you feel a little guilty into it. Yeah, listen, 1:13:28.240 --> 1:13:30.559 if if they've been dating for long enough to where 1:13:30.600 --> 1:13:32.360 he feels like he needs to make her feel good 1:13:32.360 --> 1:13:34.280 about the breakup, he should have either called her or 1:13:34.320 --> 1:13:36.120 done it face to face. And the fact that he 1:13:36.160 --> 1:13:39.519 texts your proves that they've been dating longer than you think. 1:13:39.720 --> 1:13:41.479 The long text message. But he's too much of a 1:13:41.520 --> 1:13:44.439 coward to make that phone call, and he's making up excuses, 1:13:44.479 --> 1:13:46.640 Oh I'm busy until much fourteen. Oh, but you're so 1:13:46.680 --> 1:13:49.120 beautiful and of extreme quality, but I just don't think 1:13:49.160 --> 1:13:51.639 you're great for me right now one or two days 1:13:51.680 --> 1:13:57.599 and over the top be a text if he kind 1:13:57.600 --> 1:13:59.880 of just ghosted her, and then that would have been 1:14:00.000 --> 1:14:02.240 and everybody would have forgotten the situation. She's as great 1:14:02.240 --> 1:14:05.040 as he's making out text, he wouldn't be breaking up 1:14:05.040 --> 1:14:08.040 with her, and he's making the decision for her. He's saying, 1:14:08.120 --> 1:14:10.080 I don't think that you would appreciate me because I'm 1:14:10.080 --> 1:14:11.800 not going to be free until March fourteenth, and because 1:14:11.840 --> 1:14:13.760 of that, I'm breaking up with you. That's not very 1:14:13.840 --> 1:14:16.080 click at that. I don't like I wouldn't like that either. 1:14:16.120 --> 1:14:18.720 I'd be like, okay, don't throw that in. Would just 1:14:19.320 --> 1:14:21.280 what would you want to have them say that? Or 1:14:21.439 --> 1:14:25.639 him being fully honest and saying, well, I don't think 1:14:25.800 --> 1:14:30.559 we're I guess we're. Full honesty can be scarring, That's 1:14:30.560 --> 1:14:33.360 what I mean. You never go full honesty. I disagree. 1:14:33.400 --> 1:14:36.400 I think this guy sucks. Jake, you suck, Maryanne, You're 1:14:36.439 --> 1:14:38.880 better off without it. Let's not say the name. No, 1:14:39.160 --> 1:14:45.320 what says names right there? Story If you got this 1:14:45.439 --> 1:14:48.080 text from a guy, would you respond to it? Would 1:14:48.120 --> 1:14:51.120 you say, oh, yeah, I'm busy too, thanks by, I'd 1:14:51.160 --> 1:14:52.559 love to teach you tennis. Or would you just do 1:14:52.600 --> 1:14:57.080 a love That's that's the that's the cherry on top 1:14:57.080 --> 1:15:01.200 of the friendship right there. I think I'd feel like 1:15:01.520 --> 1:15:03.400 I think I would just say, hey, you know, good 1:15:03.439 --> 1:15:06.080 luck with all your work aspirations, and just like make 1:15:06.120 --> 1:15:07.760 it back in his like, if he wants to make 1:15:07.760 --> 1:15:09.880 it so corporate, then just take it corporate back. I 1:15:09.920 --> 1:15:11.800 would just like the message. I wouldn't even respond to it. 1:15:13.560 --> 1:15:16.479 Such a low and very Anne. When you see Jake 1:15:16.520 --> 1:15:19.000 post with his new Instagram boo in three months, look 1:15:19.040 --> 1:15:21.320 back at this podcast episode, and Dean and Mark will 1:15:21.360 --> 1:15:24.080 sit here saying we told you text us if that happens, 1:15:24.439 --> 1:15:26.080 you would just do the thumbs up in the corner 1:15:26.080 --> 1:15:29.559 and that's it. It's so dumb right now. I think 1:15:29.560 --> 1:15:35.559 that is the perfect response level here because I've had 1:15:35.600 --> 1:15:39.280 such a difficult time defending this guy. Honestly don't know 1:15:39.479 --> 1:15:44.040 he's not he said, not sure if I quote, oh 1:15:44.680 --> 1:15:47.960 you an explanation what listen. I'm not saying it was 1:15:48.000 --> 1:15:51.120 the perfect text, but at least he communicated to her 1:15:51.240 --> 1:15:53.000 that I have things going on and you don't line 1:15:53.040 --> 1:15:56.200 up with And who says of extreme quality? Is this 1:15:56.360 --> 1:15:58.600 like King of Scotland over here? I think it's a 1:15:59.240 --> 1:16:01.960 quality Listen at the end of the day, and you'd 1:16:01.960 --> 1:16:03.960 make a good wife one day. At the end of 1:16:04.000 --> 1:16:06.040 the day. It's an agree to disagree. Some people are 1:16:06.080 --> 1:16:09.519 right some people but we can all agree on is 1:16:09.520 --> 1:16:12.200 that the bar is so low for dudes nowadays that 1:16:12.320 --> 1:16:15.439 this actually clears it. And that's sad and totally trying 1:16:15.439 --> 1:16:17.720 to get to earlier too. What do you Mark says 1:16:17.720 --> 1:16:21.080 that it makes so upset it's because of his purple shirt. 1:16:21.280 --> 1:16:23.200 We would love to hear your opinions on this. Email 1:16:23.280 --> 1:16:25.439 us I suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com. 1:16:25.680 --> 1:16:28.240 Do you think Jake did the right thing by texting 1:16:28.439 --> 1:16:31.080 Maryanne this long breakup text or do you think it's 1:16:31.080 --> 1:16:33.160 a little shady? I personally think it was shady. And also, 1:16:33.200 --> 1:16:38.400 would you prefer a text message a phone call? Ghost like? Okay, 1:16:38.439 --> 1:16:41.160 obviously nobody's gonna want to Honestly, we're in this place. 1:16:41.160 --> 1:16:43.120 Nobody would want to have you sit down and be like, hey, 1:16:43.160 --> 1:16:45.880 I'm gonna buy Would you rather have a turd in 1:16:45.920 --> 1:16:48.240 your sandwich, expired bologna in your sandwich, or a nice 1:16:48.280 --> 1:16:50.559 Italian sandwich from so But obviously I'll take the Italian 1:16:50.600 --> 1:16:53.320 time if I have to eat the expired bologny. My 1:16:53.479 --> 1:16:57.200 point is just because the worst thing, just because it's 1:16:57.200 --> 1:16:59.320 better than the worst thing, doesn't make it a good thing. 1:16:59.600 --> 1:17:02.639 That's my point. It's very understandable and very Yeah, email 1:17:02.720 --> 1:17:04.720 us at I suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com. 1:17:04.720 --> 1:17:06.400 We would love to hear your take on this. Also, 1:17:06.479 --> 1:17:10.120 email us some of your weird breakup texts that you've received. 1:17:11.560 --> 1:17:13.920 Can we call this episode expired? Maloge is better than 1:17:13.960 --> 1:17:18.800 a turn too many words, A subway foot long is 1:17:18.840 --> 1:17:24.280 slightly better than ex email us I Sucky Dating at 1:17:24.320 --> 1:17:26.160 iHeart media dot com. We would love to hear from you, 1:17:26.200 --> 1:17:28.360 maybe some advice that you heard from dr Ish that 1:17:28.400 --> 1:17:30.720 you're gonna be willing to implement in your own relationship 1:17:30.720 --> 1:17:33.040 as well. Be sure to check him out on Marriage 1:17:33.040 --> 1:17:36.280 boot Camp, Reality Stars premiering this week on we tv 1:17:37.000 --> 1:17:41.400 um and what Else. Jared, that's it. Keep following us 1:17:41.400 --> 1:17:43.840 on Instagram, Well maybe we'll get a couple of more followers. 1:17:44.000 --> 1:17:46.040 Guys were getting there, We're getting there. We're not getting 1:17:46.040 --> 1:17:48.679 their congratulations to us on going that page so much. Anyways, 1:17:48.680 --> 1:17:50.439 I'll do it for this week's episode of Help I 1:17:50.479 --> 1:17:52.160 Suck at Dating. Be sure to tune in next week, 1:17:52.160 --> 1:17:54.040 where maybe we will suck just a little bit less. 1:17:54.280 --> 1:17:57.600 Follow Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Anglert on 1:17:57.680 --> 1:18:00.720 I Heart Radio or subscribe where every you listened upon 1:18:05.640 --> 1:18:06.080 MHM