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Speaker 1: Paid ship.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just sounded like my sister. That's how she said.

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Speaker 2: I want to call her? What up? Chip?

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Speaker 1: I was about to sing you a song? So I

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Speaker 1: did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me

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Speaker 1: that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally

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Speaker 1: belting out a song, and she's like, I have now

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Speaker 1: done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast

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Speaker 1: with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,

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Speaker 1: I said I'm not a singer though in fact, on

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Speaker 1: my Friday episodes as my co host, we try to

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Speaker 1: sing sometimes and we're terrible.

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Speaker 2: You don't. I want to know something funny is I

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Speaker 2: was Actually I was in the studio yesterday with the

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Speaker 2: band Lula and ended up in the vocal booth doing

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Speaker 2: gang vocals on the chorus.

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Speaker 1: What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?

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Speaker 2: No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we

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Speaker 2: were the choir basically, So everyone that was happened to

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Speaker 2: be at the studio that at that time with studio

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Speaker 2: only sang harmonies.

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Speaker 1: Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do

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Speaker 1: I need to do a gang vocal?

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Speaker 2: Maybe we need to add you.

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Speaker 1: I was dying laughing every time she says it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I definitely think that I'm in a phase

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Speaker 1: of learning how to express so I could see that.

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Speaker 1: But like actually singing by myself behind a mic, I

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Speaker 1: mean sorry to the audience and its karaoke. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't even really like to do that anymore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't, I guess not. Shoot,

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Speaker 2: So anyway, always down for karaoke.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to be singing for a week. My

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Speaker 1: homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,

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Speaker 1: just to like see what happens and see if it

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Speaker 1: opens anything up. So there you go.

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Speaker 2: She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.

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Speaker 1: I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's

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Speaker 1: like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,

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Speaker 1: like actually putting them into practice.

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Speaker 2: Next week on the Velvet's Edge, we're going to hear

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Speaker 2: the debut single from Kelly.

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Speaker 1: Do you Know what? I?

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Speaker 2: Do? You Know what?

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Speaker 1: Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping

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Speaker 1: for some other stuff and then I was sitting in

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Speaker 1: front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.

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Speaker 2: Oh. I just added that to my karaoke list.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, that has always been the one song.

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Speaker 1: When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind

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Speaker 1: of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.

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Speaker 1: I think it's because I can stay on pitch with

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Speaker 1: her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all

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Speaker 1: the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.

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Speaker 2: It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.

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Speaker 1: I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're

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Speaker 1: talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me

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Speaker 1: and went to you let me go, you try to

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Speaker 1: give away keep her anyway, that's.

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Speaker 2: A fun I got a fun little fact about that song.

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Speaker 2: It's the only independent Well it might that this might

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Speaker 2: not be a fact anymore because it's an older song,

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Speaker 2: but when it hit number one on the pop chart,

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Speaker 2: it was the first time an independent song was number

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Speaker 2: one on the pop chart because she wasn't signed a

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Speaker 2: record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was on the

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Speaker 2: Reality Bite soundtrack.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that was how I.

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Speaker 2: That was put out through a major label, but she

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Speaker 2: wasn't signed yet. She was Ethan Hawk's neighbor that way, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she was his neighbor and he put her on the soundtrack.

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Speaker 1: My god, I used to love her.

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Speaker 2: M h, I have that. I have her first album

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Speaker 2: on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.

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Speaker 1: That's what her cassette is called.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it was purple.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box

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Speaker 1: when I said Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe I'll sing it

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Speaker 1: again later and I'll alwoice know it to you, my pactice.

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Speaker 1: That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We

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Speaker 1: actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So

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Speaker 1: if you are not driving, I would uh, does it

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Speaker 1: employ you? Is that how you say this? Ploor implore? Wow,

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Speaker 1: I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little

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Speaker 1: dead today. I would implore you to take out your phone,

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Speaker 1: open up. If you have an iPhone, go to your settings.

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Speaker 1: Then what do I do, Chip, I already forgot you.

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Speaker 1: Go to settings and look at screen screen time. Let

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Speaker 1: me see if I can find out for those Android users. Android, Yes,

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Speaker 1: if you're an Android user, So Chip texted me and says,

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Speaker 1: have you ever looked at your screen time? Which of

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Speaker 1: course I have. But now I choose to live in

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Speaker 1: denial and not. But I'm kind of glad you brought

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Speaker 1: this back up to me because I do feel like

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Speaker 1: when I just let it free flow and I'm not

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Speaker 1: at all paying attention, it gets a little out of hand.

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Speaker 1: Did you want to, like tell us some of your numbers?

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Speaker 2: Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my daily average

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Speaker 2: is down this week to down twenty one percent from

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Speaker 2: last week to almost eight hours of use on my

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Speaker 2: phone seven hours and fifty one minutes. That's your daily

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Speaker 2: app that's the average daily Yes, for yesterday, I was

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Speaker 2: on my phone ten hours and fifty three minutes one

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Speaker 2: day calling to me.

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Speaker 1: Does that include phone calls?

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Speaker 2: Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone

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Speaker 2: that much. I don't even see where phone is on.

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Speaker 1: I don't actually know that it does. That's thinking it

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Speaker 1: worse because it says see all app and website activity.

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Speaker 1: My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.

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Speaker 1: That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,

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Speaker 1: what's your highest category?

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Speaker 2: My most used category is mess I message so texting?

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Speaker 1: Are you sure? Did you press the most? Just it's

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Speaker 1: so it's social not social as well. It does that

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Speaker 1: including messages.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, gossa just messages fall into that. So oh, I

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Speaker 2: spent a wopping eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.

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Speaker 1: I don't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen

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Speaker 1: time for social? What is yours for last week?

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Speaker 2: Last week?

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Speaker 1: Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if I want to say it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this

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Speaker 2: is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours

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Speaker 2: and sixteen minutes.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,

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Speaker 1: that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty

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Speaker 2: four seconds.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking

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Speaker 1: about this because we were just I mean, we comment

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Speaker 1: about this all the time on this podcast, of just

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Speaker 1: how we kind of feel like we float through this

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Speaker 1: world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're

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Speaker 1: just like driving the bus, I've going to work, the

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Speaker 1: hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me

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Speaker 1: a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this

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Speaker 1: one post from mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,

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Speaker 1: but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will

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Speaker 1: spend twenty years of your life just scrolling through your phone.

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Speaker 1: Imagine it's the end of your life and someone says,

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Speaker 1: would you like an extra twenty years and your answer

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Speaker 1: is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have spent twenty

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Speaker 1: years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's it really puts it in perspective, like

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Speaker 2: big time. I know I use my phone a lot

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Speaker 2: for work, and I think so the text messaging has

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Speaker 2: a lot to do with work. But it's shocking to

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Speaker 2: me the differentiation between how much time I spend on

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Speaker 2: email on my phone versus text messaging, and you know,

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Speaker 2: a lot of work stuff now does well.

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Speaker 1: We talked about that a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 2: I hate it. I hate texting for work, but you

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Speaker 2: just have to it. This is what it is, just

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Speaker 2: the world that we live in now. But it's it's

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Speaker 2: a huge difference between mail and and texting. I would

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Speaker 2: imagine that I just do more of the emailing on

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Speaker 2: my computer, but I also I am running around a lot.

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Speaker 2: I'm not often just sitting at my desk, and fact.

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Speaker 1: That's all I think I was shocked by your numbers

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Speaker 1: because I feel like you're either driving or running around

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Speaker 1: pretty consistently.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is

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Speaker 2: on my phone a lot when I'm driving.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend

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Speaker 1: the way.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,

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Speaker 2: and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,

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Speaker 2: so I need to be better about it.

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Speaker 1: Wuld you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's to be better about that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to be better about it.

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Speaker 1: I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such

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Speaker 1: a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that

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Speaker 1: motion that I'm doing. The motion right now. You guys

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Speaker 1: have like the scroll, Like the way we move our

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Speaker 1: finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling

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Speaker 1: is a way that we calm our nervous system, which

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Speaker 1: I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way

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Speaker 1: we disassociate. So the social media people specifically are so

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Speaker 1: brilliant because they have learned how to tap into our

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Speaker 1: addictive brain in our nervous systems. And so we're sitting

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Speaker 1: there doing that scrolling motion after the like at the

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Speaker 1: end of a long day, or if you find yourself

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Speaker 1: doing it in between tasks or when you're on the

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Speaker 1: phone with someone and you like need to go do that,

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Speaker 1: really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded.

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Speaker 2: Is what that thing that we would do before?

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Speaker 1: No, we've never heard that.

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Speaker 2: It's something that we've adapted to.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's what you do on your phone. So before

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Speaker 1: like when you only had MySpace on your computer, it

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Speaker 1: was different, right, but somehow, like that's how it's progressed

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Speaker 1: in our society now that we have such access to

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Speaker 1: apps on our phone, and that could be for dating apps,

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Speaker 1: that could be anything. It's like we always wonder why

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Speaker 1: these things are so addictive. There's obviously like the validation piece,

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Speaker 1: you know, the reward process that speaks to our brains

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Speaker 1: and our nervous systems. But I just thought that that's

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Speaker 1: so interesting about that motion, and so I have started

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Speaker 1: to try, Like if I find mysel off having those

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Speaker 1: days where I'm just not able to not pick up

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Speaker 1: my phone, I'm like, what is going on? Like trying

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Speaker 1: to ask yourself the deeper questions. But it's crazy how

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Speaker 1: unconscious it is, you know, like it's literally like that

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Speaker 1: phantom even vibrate thing that happens in the back pocket,

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Speaker 1: or if you if you see someone else pick up

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Speaker 1: their phone and they're checking it, like you have to

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Speaker 1: check yours, all of a sudden you notice it.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,

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Speaker 2: because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like

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Speaker 2: early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like

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Speaker 2: my shield. Yeah, I can like look like I'm not alone.

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Speaker 2: I can disappear into something, and yeah, I tell myself, oh,

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Speaker 2: I can use this time to get some stuff done.

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Speaker 2: But if I look at the stats on my right,

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Speaker 2: for the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's

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Speaker 2: worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I

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Speaker 2: have to change something like this is shocking to me.

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Speaker 2: This is the first time I've ever looked at like

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Speaker 2: I had to google how to figure it out. And

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Speaker 2: by the way, if you're an Android user, what you

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Speaker 2: would do is you open your device's settings app and

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Speaker 2: then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's

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Speaker 2: charts that show your device use and then you should

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Speaker 2: throw away your phone again on myself, don't start them.

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Speaker 1: On those green pack I can't. I can't hear that

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Speaker 1: ran again. I will say, there is something you can

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Speaker 1: do on iPhones And I did have this set up

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Speaker 1: for me for a while where it was like, after

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Speaker 1: an hour on your social media, you would get it

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Speaker 1: stops you, it takes you out of it, and it

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Speaker 1: goes alert. You've been on here for an hour. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell you how fast that comes in your day.

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Speaker 1: There would be times where I'm like, it's eight am,

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Speaker 1: how am I already getting that?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules, but

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Speaker 1: it was something that I had in place that did

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Speaker 1: help me actually be conscious of it more. I mean

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Speaker 1: not lock you out of the app until the next day, No,

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Speaker 1: you can just close it out.

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Speaker 2: There must be some way, like because if with the

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Speaker 2: parental control, you might have to go a little deeper,

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Speaker 2: because there are parental controls that you can literally lock

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Speaker 2: them out.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,

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Speaker 1: though when you hear yourself, I mean.

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Speaker 2: No, truthfully, it's I would need something that extreme because

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Speaker 2: I would do exactly what you did. Ah fuck it,

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Speaker 2: Like in the same way that like when my alarm

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Speaker 2: goes off at six am, I hit snooze for an hour.

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Speaker 1: We'll tell about that stat.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, wait a minute, why have I

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Speaker 2: used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,

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Speaker 2: because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and

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Speaker 2: so you're in your clock is open the whole time

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Speaker 2: that you're doing so it's from like six am to

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Speaker 2: seven am. The other day.

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Speaker 1: I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your

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Speaker 1: alarm for seven, then.

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Speaker 2: Why then I would hit snooze till eight.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's just such disrupted sleep, I guess. So I

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Speaker 1: don't feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.

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Speaker 2: Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake

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Speaker 2: up earlier so that I can get like a dog

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Speaker 2: walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym all

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Speaker 2: before work. But it's I know, it's really hard to

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Speaker 2: shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,

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Speaker 2: and waking up at six is really hard. So I

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Speaker 2: have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen

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Speaker 2: and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have

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Speaker 2: to get out of bed to turn them off.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then once you're out. It's like, you're up,

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Speaker 1: you might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.

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Speaker 2: Right, and once I want and you know, after a

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Speaker 2: few days of this, it will start to form a

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Speaker 2: habit where it's a lot easier just to get up

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Speaker 2: at that time because I actually really love being up

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Speaker 2: in the morning. It's also happen to love sleeping, so

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Speaker 2: if I can sleep later, I do. But this was

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Speaker 2: a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing that it's

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Speaker 2: shocking you were on your clock per an hour. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: Like what a lame app to be on what you did?

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Speaker 1: See me Another post that I thought was really interesting

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Speaker 1: because it really breaks down because when we were talking

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Speaker 1: about let me backtrack for a second, when we were

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Speaker 1: talking about the phone thing, you were like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing

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Speaker 1: with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with

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Speaker 1: real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or

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Speaker 1: thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like

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Speaker 1: we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And

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Speaker 1: then you found this post. Do you want to read

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Speaker 1: it or do you want me to?

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Speaker 2: You can start because there's several slides so.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is on Tank's Good News, But so basically

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Speaker 1: they're talking about how from the time we're born until

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Speaker 1: our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are like priorities.

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Speaker 1: So when you first start, obviously, like your relationship with

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Speaker 1: your parents and your siblings, like your immediate family is high,

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Speaker 1: but it peaks in childhood and then it declines after

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Speaker 1: the age of twenty. So the key takeaways they say

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Speaker 1: with this lad is time with family is limited. Time

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Speaker 1: with your parents declines sharply after age twenty. You may

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Speaker 1: only see your loved ones a few more times. Prioritize

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Speaker 1: and cherish every moment.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's wild you talk about.

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Speaker 1: That one a lot, because you don't. I was talking

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Speaker 1: about recently, like my parents are actually moving to Nashville,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful because even if I see them

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Speaker 1: once a week, it's more than I'm like, we're seeing

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Speaker 1: them now twice a year, three times a year, you know,

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Speaker 1: like not very often on holidays. Yeah, And it's like

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Speaker 1: as everyone gets older, you start to really take that

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Speaker 1: into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that

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Speaker 1: much times if I keep on this routine of how

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Speaker 1: often I'm seeing them. There's not many times that I'm

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Speaker 1: see them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the closer, the older we all get, the worst

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Speaker 2: it gets. And you know, you and I it's a

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Speaker 2: little different because we're both single without children, right, Like

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Speaker 2: I think about with my sister, who actually lives a

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Speaker 2: lot closer to my parents and because of that gets

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Speaker 2: to see them more often. But the older her kids

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Speaker 2: are getting, the more complicated it is for her to

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Speaker 2: carve time out to go see my parents.

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Speaker 1: Of Course, she's got softball games, running them around.

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Speaker 2: And running them around, doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of

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Speaker 2: the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.

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Speaker 2: Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually, like

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Speaker 2: it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it, Like

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Speaker 2: especially for people that move away, Like I haven't lived

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Speaker 2: where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,

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Speaker 2: so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend

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Speaker 2: with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,

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Speaker 2: you know, I do make a very concerted effort to

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Speaker 2: try and get home several times a year. And if

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Speaker 2: there's a work excuse for me to be close to

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Speaker 2: the like closer to Yeah, I'll try and build in

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Speaker 2: a trip home, even if it's for one night, because

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Speaker 2: I know how much it means to them, and when

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Speaker 2: they're gone, it'll mean even more to me.

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Speaker 1: You know that I put in that effort for sure,

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Speaker 1: and you embrace the time you have with them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen

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Speaker 1: and declines sharply to declines sharply to a low baseline.

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Speaker 1: Key takeaways embrace friendship breadth, but focus on depths. Cherish

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Speaker 1: those who are with you through good and bad times.

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Speaker 1: Invest your energy in healthy, meaningful friendships that last.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes

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Speaker 2: a lot of sense when I look at it. But

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Speaker 2: as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in

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Speaker 2: the same town as my parents, my family are my friends, well,

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Speaker 2: I actually think.

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Speaker 1: Our friend work is really good at seeing each other right,

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Speaker 1: And so.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,

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Speaker 2: but I can see how in general it applies to

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Speaker 2: most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care

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Speaker 2: free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to

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Speaker 2: college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of

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Speaker 2: your own and all those things. So time with friends

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Speaker 2: becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,

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Speaker 2: if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone. Well right,

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Speaker 2: me too, So my graph is a little different. Like granted,

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Speaker 2: like I'd have to quantify which friends because it would

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Speaker 2: have to be very different graphs like obviously my high

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Speaker 2: my high school friends, that graph really does apply to me, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I very rarely to speak to them. And then

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Speaker 2: I have New York friends and LA friends and Nashville friends,

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Speaker 2: and so I have I guess I have different graphs,

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Speaker 2: But I think that the key takeaway for me there

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Speaker 2: is is like to identify those that you just can't

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Speaker 2: live without and make sure to spend as much time

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Speaker 2: with or communicate with them as much as possible.

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Speaker 1: Well, I like the depth, not Brett like it does.

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Speaker 1: Do you think as you get older or for me,

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Speaker 1: this is how it's worked. I've started to not have

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Speaker 1: as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,

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Speaker 1: so who can I do that with? And it's like

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Speaker 1: you can go up with the youn't barely even knew,

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Speaker 1: Like it was just I don't know we would just

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Speaker 1: hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because

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Speaker 1: none of us have that much of that because of

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Speaker 1: work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I

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Speaker 1: do think I need it to be someone who I

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Speaker 1: genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me

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Speaker 1: as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could

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Speaker 1: actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going

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Speaker 1: and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,

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Speaker 1: you know, like your relationships do change. But I do

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Speaker 1: think the depth piece is something to really consider as

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Speaker 1: you get older.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that

406
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Speaker 1: actually goes to show if you're not happy in your

407
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Speaker 1: marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of

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Speaker 1: time because that trends upwards until death. So the key

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Speaker 1: takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your

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Speaker 1: partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.

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Speaker 1: Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle

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Speaker 1: for less than love.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is

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Speaker 2: really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which means.

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Speaker 1: That's a three dives. Yeah, well that's the inevitable that

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Speaker 1: is not happening, but we all die.

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Speaker 2: It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't

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Speaker 2: know how where they got the graphs from, but the

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Speaker 2: really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if that's like that that's the window when

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Speaker 2: most people get married.

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Speaker 1: Probably, Yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's

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Speaker 1: on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in

425
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Speaker 1: your thirty so that's I guess when people are having

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Speaker 1: kids more decline sharply thereafter. Time with your children is short. Same,

427
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Speaker 1: that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down and

428
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Speaker 1: embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life. Co workers,

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Speaker 1: this is an interesting one. Steady during the prime working

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Speaker 1: years from twenty to sixty, But you spent a lot

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Speaker 1: of time with your coworkers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy,

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Speaker 2: who most steady, I get.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who you choose to work with is one of

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Speaker 1: the most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work

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Speaker 1: and coworkers that create energy in your life. We have

437
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,920
Speaker 1: an interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work

438
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: with our best friends.

439
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 2: True. Yeah, And that's how my.

440
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 1: Friends have become my friends. It's from work. Yeah.

441
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 2: And depending on where you live, you might not have

442
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 2: as many options of you know, what you get to

443
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 2: do or or who you get to work with. True.

444
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:38,880
Speaker 2: So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,

445
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 2: I think if you are able to choose to do

446
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,199
Speaker 2: something that you love, you're probably going to end up

447
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 2: finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.

448
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: Really well, I'm spend alone was a little weird too.

449
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: It says it's steadily and pays throughout your life, which

450
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: if you really think about, is true. And my mom

451
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: has always said this, like the older you get, the

452
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 1: more clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this

453
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: world alone, and you're gonna actually leave alone too, even

454
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: if you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience

455
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 1: that we all go through by ourselves.

456
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 2: Right.

457
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: So he says, learn to embrace solitude, flect your boredom, muscle, regularly,

458
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 1: find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.

459
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: There will be a whole lot of it as you

460
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 1: get older. So in summary, one, family time is limited. Chairshit.

461
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: Two friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner

462
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: time is significant. Never settle for children. Time is precious,

463
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 1: be present. Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six

464
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: alone time is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get

465
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 1: off your phone.

466
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: Get off your phones.

467
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics

468
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: that at the point we're trying to make here is

469
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: like it really is starting to dawn on us how

470
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 1: unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much

471
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,959
Speaker 1: time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.

472
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime

473
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: of humanity and how new these like phones being in

474
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: our hands and having every touch of a button is,

475
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount

476
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 2: of time. So we really don't know the shift that

477
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: this is going to have in humanity. And you know,

478
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 2: it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram

479
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,119
Speaker 2: and Facebook and all the things that you know are

480
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 2: meant are designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.

481
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 2: You know. I do think there are lots of benefits

482
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 2: to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with

483
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,

484
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 2: and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a

485
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 2: letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I

486
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 2: think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's

487
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 2: a that loss. These things, you know, they might make

488
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 2: us a little bit more productive, but I think they

489
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 2: make us more isolated than connected.

490
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: Because I was thinking, you said, so much of your

491
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 1: time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,

492
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: how often are you actually in a bad mood but

493
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: you're texting like you're not, you know, like so you're

494
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: not actually being true. It's like when you're experience a

495
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: person in real life or even on the phone, you

496
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 1: can hear tone of voice, you can hear like you

497
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 1: just read energy better than you can do to like

498
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 1: just a text.

499
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: Right totally, So you can push and you can push

500
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: down your emotions too, when you actually probably need to

501
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: sit in them for a minute and feel them and

502
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 2: work through them and work through whatever it is it's

503
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: putting you in that mood. But you have to like

504
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 2: be on and getting your job done and all the things,

505
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: or planning your night out or whatever it is that

506
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: you're doing right, But you know, to lean into my

507
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 2: word of the Year which was explore, like I am

508
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 2: I need to sit down and do some deep digging

509
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 2: and figure out what what I'm gonna do to buy

510
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: myself some more time for me because these dating apps,

511
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 2: I like every time I'm on them, like it's there.

512
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: I don't find them beneficial, Like, but I feel like

513
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 2: I'm doing something. I feel like I'm searching for my somebody.

514
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 2: But I would probably be better off like volunteering somewhere

515
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: or even out at a bar, like forcing myself through

516
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 2: the activity, yeah, or doing an activity, joining a sports

517
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: team with some gay gaze, you know, like sports ball,

518
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: just doing something where I'm interacting with people in a

519
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 2: real way versus just putting myself in like a window

520
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 2: to be shopped.

521
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: You know, that's totally Yeah. I used to when I

522
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: was on apps, I would set a limit, like I

523
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: would set the timer for ten minutes in the morning

524
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: and then I would do ten minutes at night. That's

525
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: all I would do because to me, it is the

526
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: same thing as social media, and I was like, I don'

527
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 1: not I do not need another thing where I'm just

528
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: scrolling and scrolling as I also found that the days

529
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: where I wouldn't do that and I would let myself scroll,

530
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 1: I would get so depressed because it would like, if

531
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 1: you're continuing to scroll, you're obviously not seeing anything you want,

532
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: and you're looking for some sort of proof that that

533
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: someone could be out there. So it's like depressing if

534
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: you're not finding it, you know, yeah.

535
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

536
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 2: It's asbably most of the time you're not finding someone, right,

537
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: you know, like literally ninety nine of the time. Yeah,

538
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 2: really working for you. And then you're like, well, fuck,

539
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 2: I just wasted two hours. And sure, you know, at

540
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 2: least like if you're at a bar and you don't

541
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 2: meet somebody, you probably had fun. You might have had

542
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 2: some good conversations and had a couple of drinks or what.

543
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 2: I don't know. I need to change some shit up

544
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 2: in my life, is all I know based on these

545
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 2: statistics of my phone.

546
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to

547
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: go check your screen time like we did, fascinating experience

548
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 1: and let us know what you come across too. Like

549
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: I just want to I think I am going to

550
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 1: set the timer again for my social media, just so

551
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: it goes off because I am trying to be more

552
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: active on there for work purposes, but I also don't

553
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: need to fully scroll all the time, like I'm just

554
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: finding myself doing it and it's basically a waste of time.

555
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing. If you guys

556
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: do try it and you want to let us know,

557
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: you can always email us at the Edge at velvetedge

558
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:30,920
Speaker 1: dot com or you can hit us up on the

559
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: voicemail send us some voicemails. We're ready. You can find

560
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: that on my Instagram in the link at the bio.

561
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 1: It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.

562
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: I'm at Chip doorshos ch ip d r sch.

563
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: And as you guys are going into the weekend and

564
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to

565
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: be cute, but I stop myself. If you're living hopefully

566
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: not living on your phone, I hope you always remember

567
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:06,880
Speaker 1: it too a casual bye bye mm hmm