WEBVTT - #231: You Can Hold My Umbrella Ella Ella 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:07.400 Start uf dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:16.880 Brooklyn Boy Data they making noise data up. Episode two 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:23.079 thirty one. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Is that that right? Yeah? 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:25.800 Thirty one. It's just it's not a fun number. It 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.840 is to thirty fun. We can rename it to thirty fun. Okay, fine, 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:32.239 now it's much better. From now on, this will go 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:36.560 down as the episode to thirty fun because it's extra fun. Today. 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:39.600 I've got stuff, You've got stuff. Yeah, I think it is. Well. Yeah, 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:43.479 it's gorgeous sunny day. It's Friday when we're recording this. 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.320 You know that means that means Scary wants to be outside. 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.960 So this may be a short podcast. No, that's not true. No, 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.120 I mean I do want to be outside, and I 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:55.600 think I will be outside at some point. I thought 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:59.240 of you last night speaking to being outside. Why is that? Well? 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:02.960 I was iving through. Uh. We went to dinner last 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.479 night at Author and Sons. I've talked about it before. Yes, 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:07.759 Oh my god, I'll talk about the food in a minute. 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:11.000 The check my Instagram story. The food was unbelievable. I 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.520 had a chicken palm of what with vodka sauce. Oh 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:18.560 scary can imagine, I can imagine. I got okay. So, 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:23.240 driving through the village to get home, it was raining 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:26.160 last night and it was a large building I want 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:28.160 to say in the West Village. I don't know what 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.040 street because I hit a dead end stop sign, had 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:32.160 to make a left. I'll try to remember where it was. 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.360 But at the top of this building was a rooftop 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:38.920 of lights. And it was a two level rooftop. So 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:42.160 whatever is going on up there in the rain, it 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:44.360 looked like I gotta find that Scary's gotta go here. 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:46.720 It's got Because you've never met a rooftop bar you 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:49.280 didn't like? No, no, certainly not. Well, well, let me 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.000 know the name of it so I can do it 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:52.560 on my list. I put it on my list. You know, 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:54.680 I gotta figure out. I gotta track my my root 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.280 last night and see where I was because it was raining, 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:59.480 I didn't even see the streets sides. Really, I turned, 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:02.320 I made a there was this giant apartment building maybe 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.080 or and it was just lights on the top and 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:07.520 it looked like it was the flashing. I was something 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.359 was going on. I'm like, oh, I wonder if Scary 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:14.480 is there. You are there, I mean you know, I 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:16.960 like when some of these places they still do it. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:18.480 They used to do it more in the nineties and 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:23.000 two thousand's when they hire a truck, a flatbed truck 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:27.079 with the spotlight, four huge spotlights on it, and they 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.840 the spotlights kind of kind of rotate in circles and 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:33.919 whatever the case, and they're aimed at the sky. It's 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.840 it's and they're the brightest freaking lights you ever did see. 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:41.440 And I guess and and basically they shine them up 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.600 in the sky. So you probably, you know, if you're 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.240 wherever you are in the neighborhood, you look and you 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:50.440 see these these spotlights kind of going back and forth 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.240 looking for like, you know, whatever, and they're they're kind 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.760 of flawling in the sky and you're like, oh, where's 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.480 that coming from? What, what's going on? Something big must 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:00.160 be happening. You know. They used to use it, I 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.519 guess in old Hollywood, you know what I'm talking about, 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:04.639 the spotlight that kind of like crushed into the X 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:08.080 and they go back. So they there's companies that make 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:11.480 these spotlights in large format on and put them on 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:15.640 these huge flatbed truck and they pull up in front 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.800 of the Usually it's like a club, a grand opening 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.520 of a club. Back in the day, that's where they 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.400 would use them. Um. But like you know, I've seen it. 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:26.160 And my buddy had his restaurant reopening and he he 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.639 wanted all the bally who, all the lights and all 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.160 the all the you know whatever, the frivolity that goes 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:35.600 with that, the chaos. So he hired one of those trucks. 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:38.000 I don't mean, God knows how much energy it took, 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:40.080 and his electric bill must have been through the roof. 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:44.080 But I'll tell you do Pete. Where my question is, 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:46.480 do you think people see the lights in the sky, 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.400 say let's go follow that, let's see where that leads to, 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:52.360 and and then they discover the grand opening of said 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.440 club or do you think that it's a waste of 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.000 money and electricity. I don't know. I think I think 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.280 it's like a crime scene. Now, Like I see that, 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:00.920 I feel like bat is gonna be there and it's 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.120 a crime scene. That's exactly what I was looking for, 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:06.640 the Batman insignia in the sky. Right. So yeah, I mean, 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:11.200 but you know we've seen these before in places. No, yeah, absolutely, 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.480 but here. Now here's the other thing about events and 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.960 and like big openings, grand grand opening, grand closing, jay Z, 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.359 have you ever driven in in in whatever city you 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.880 live in, you drive by like a regular storefront or 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.719 like just a door, there's the and there's a crowd 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.359 of people, but there's no signs as to why, and 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.320 you have no clue, like what's going on there? That's right, 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:36.880 I stopped. Yeah, right, So last night there's uh, I 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.960 think we were on maybe a West third I don't 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.640 remember again, it was the West Village and we're driving 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:47.880 down the side street and a we were between seventh 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.839 and eighth Avenue and there was some fancy stores on 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.360 the left, and there was some nice cars, and it 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:55.280 was it was double parking. People were like jumping out 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:57.120 of their cars, so you had to stop and wait. 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:02.880 This one woman just thick thick with a th h 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.040 I C C thick thick like she was wearing an 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:09.080 orange track suit and she kind of kind of looked 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:14.600 like a pumpkin. All right, jumps apparatus right. Oh, by 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.880 the way, that's funny you mentioned that Red I'm gonna 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:19.680 tangent now. Last night my wife says to me, oh, 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:24.640 that band you like from the two thousand's Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Yes, 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:31.359 they are re releasing face Down this year. A symphonic version. 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:33.359 Were like an orchestra O. Man, that was I was. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.240 It was like a hard rock song that we used 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.560 to play. Yeah, two thousands of my wife's I said, 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.200 how old is that song? So it's two thousand five, Go, 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:44.960 oh my god, seventeen years as great powerful lyrics about Yeah, 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:48.960 it's about domestic domestic abuse. So she's funny. And do 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:51.960 you remember we had an intern? Oh no, I knew 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:54.159 you're gonna go there, So that's what I was thinking 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:57.239 about last night. So no names, but we had an intern. 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.080 She used to wear red track suits track suits to work, 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.640 so somebody, not me, and I would like, I would 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:06.919 not do that to my entire but it was a 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:10.360 very very clever name. Started calling her red track suit apparatus. 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:13.719 And I didn't know this because no one wanted to 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:15.640 tell me because they're my intern, so they wanted me 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.200 to know. So after the semester, they're like, oh uh, 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:21.560 what happened to Red track suit apparatus. She's not coming 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.560 back to semester. And she was really good. She just 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.240 she so was this the wrong timing for her? It 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.680 was a lure like she was in the mob, as 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:34.240 if the mob the orange track suit apparatus. Uh what 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:35.919 about right, So she gets out of the car and 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:38.839 she walks towards the front of the store. It was 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:43.840 blue something blue blue, ocean blue. But yeah, right, I 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:46.200 feel I feel sixty five was there. So she gets 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:50.520 out of the car. I want to say, like, uh, 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.880 the ft from the store. Where this people gathering out 0:06:54.880 --> 0:07:00.760 of another fancy car, no joke. Scary Another guy, another one, 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.120 another guy. He gets out of his car and he's 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:06.479 wearing it. It It looks like a banana. He's wearing a 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:10.880 yellow tracks and it was like vlore. I was like, 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.280 it wasn't like I didn't see like stripes or zippers. 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:16.200 It was like they were going to a costume party 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.000 where everyone had to be a part of the rainbow. 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.360 This guy was wearing a yellow jack and yellow. It's 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:24.880 just all yellow. And I said to my wife, because 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.160 we're creeping in this as we're waiting to pull up, 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.680 I bet you those two know each other. Now they 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.960 got out of cars like five cars away from each other, 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:36.440 and sure enough they got together without and this this 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:39.679 crowd was forming outside of this retail store that didn't 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.480 look like it was open yet it was nine o'clock 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:46.280 at night. I don't know, but something was going on 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.000 there last night and ill, and so my wife says 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.920 to me, she looked up the store, the store name, 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:57.080 and she said, it's a very expensive store, like like 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.480 boogie expensive. So and then she was though, some people 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.160 I don't think they shopped there because they were dressed 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.440 in track suits. But then I thought, maybe they do 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:07.720 when they save money by wearing tracksuits three days a week. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.320 I don't know. But then more people got out of 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.160 the cars and it looked like it looked like people 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.080 who spend more money on their cars than their clothing. 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:17.920 But something was going on, right, and you're like, you're 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.560 busting right, You're busting a No, I don't know. Well, 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:24.320 nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. Thank you, Solo Asylum. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.760 But if I don't know, if I'm being honest, I 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.040 feel like that was the whole premise of the whole 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.240 clubs you can't come in bottle service thing of the 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.240 two thousands and nineties, where they would let people make 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.640 people wait outside the place would be empty inside. Yeah, 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:44.360 losing money by the minute, mind you, because they're not 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:47.679 ringing up a liquor bill at the bar, and the 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:51.960 club owners would would prefer that because it would just 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:55.240 advertisement for more people to just jump on the line. 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:56.840 Now people don't have the patience to tell you go 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.720 fund yourself, so that that trick doesn't really work anymore. 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:03.800 Because I see a line, I'm walking the other way. Wow, Unless, 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:06.439 of course, you know, I'm expected if my name is 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:08.600 on the list and I know someone, If I got 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:10.880 a guy, then then I then I get get in. 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:12.200 I go get it, I go to the front, I 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.200 get Have you ever been to a club? I don't 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:15.720 know if they still do this because my club days 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:17.560 are gone, But have you ever been to a club 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:19.840 or some kind of elite thing. We have to stand 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.240 outside and the bouncer picks people he likes what they 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:23.840 look like out of the crowd to go in. Yes, 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:29.120 annoying as funk and again you and you've been picked? No? Never, No, 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:32.360 I got picked once you did? I did? I know 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:39.320 it's shocking for the deadbeat club or what that? No. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:44.760 I was remember the club Limelight, Yes, so I took 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:48.200 my then girlfriend who's who's now my wife. But we 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.400 went to the Limelight, which was an old church converted 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:55.600 into a club and concert hall for a while. Allegedly, 0:09:56.040 --> 0:10:00.200 um people would do coke off the fireplace mantele. It 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.480 was that kind of place. So we went one night, 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:05.959 uh to to go hang on Friday, Saturday night whatever, 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.000 and I had just gotten off work. So I was 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:09.800 won a shirt and tie. This was back in my 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.240 retail days, as when a shirt and tie and I 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.680 don't know, jeans whatever, and uh we were standing outside 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.240 and the guy was like, everybody has to wait out here. 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.680 I need a clipboard, the whole thing. So the shirt 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.320 and ties? What got you in? Yeah? A shirt and tie? 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:25.120 So weird brody because if you think about it, those 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.079 are the people that they don't allow in because that's 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:30.280 like we don't want these business types. Yeah, well I worked. 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:32.599 It was it's in Chelsea, that part of Manhattan, and 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:34.400 I worked. I worked at and they were, you know, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.040 they were looking for Brooklyn Industrial. They were all even 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.160 back in the day. So this was I want to 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:43.679 say it was uh ninety six a while ago. But 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:45.400 they were like, yeah, you can go, and you got 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:48.360 you too. We looked at each other like what yeah, 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.760 but we looked behind us like the day point to 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.800 the people behind us, But no, it was us. We 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.959 got to go in and we had a great time. 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:57.800 That's it was the weirdest feeling because oh, I have 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.640 to tell you about remind me to tell you about 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:04.520 about what I won something? All right, Well, speaking of 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:07.679 getting picked and well, speaking of speaking of getting out 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:11.840 of vehicles. The other day, Um Garrett Garrett from the 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:15.080 Morning Show, was giving me a ride home and we 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.960 just see a sea of SUVs in the back of 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:22.679 our building, you know, with the with you know, the 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.360 where the where with the radio station and and it's 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.640 like just all Cadillac escalades. But we were we were 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:31.400 parked a block south of that, and we're going north. 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.920 So I'm like, what's what's the commotion up ahead on 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.920 the So it was raining out. It was pouring as 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:38.840 a matter of fact, and you know, we kind of 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.360 did the slow roll to see what the hell, because 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:44.360 all of a sudden, everyone started jumping out of the vehicles, 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:48.480 all at the same time. All of a sudden, at 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:52.000 one vehicle, one guy comes running over from the other 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.000 side of the vehicle from the outside. You know, they 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.400 went on the driver's side and they came out the 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:01.520 passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:03.400 at me. No, we were, we were. We were to 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.680 the right of the passenger, so we were looking left. Okay, 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.880 so we were looking to our left. All of a sudden, 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:12.240 the door opens and the one guy stands over the 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.800 door and holds the umbrella, and I'm like, did he 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:20.040 did he had an umbrella guy? It's funny you mentioned it. 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.160 It was Diddy. Did he comes out of the vehicle? 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.280 Did he pops out of the did he always has 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.320 an umbrella guy? So so it leads me. Well, so, 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.840 so we were focused on that point because I'm like, 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.040 all these people walking out could have been any one 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:33.560 of them could have been a celebrity, because you know, 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.320 all of them are dressed, blinged out and ship and 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.679 then one guy's holding the camera. But honestly, we're like, okay, 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:44.400 wherever the umbrella guy stands waiting, that's that's the celebrity. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.239 So we slowed up, and sure enough, umbrella guy had 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.680 that the door was opened, had the umbrella up, and 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.600 out walks Diddy and we was right there. I mean literally, 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:55.719 Gary could have like open rolled down the window and 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.760 give him a high five. We were right next to him. 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:01.120 But I'm sitting there, like, who the funk has an 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:05.160 umbrella guy? At this point? Would you, okay, even if 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.560 you were a big celebrity, would you would you want 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.160 umbrella guy? Or would you think that that's just stupid. 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:14.319 I'd like to think I am a celebrity, you know, 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:18.000 like like I wouldn't even humble. I have to be 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:22.320 I'm a humble dude. Okay, Okay, maybe maybe I would 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:25.720 do this. Maybe I if I was ditty, maybe I 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.800 would pop out the vehicle and I would let the 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.680 umbrella guy hand me the umbrella and then I would 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.680 walk away so like I wouldn't get wet. And then 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.240 this way, it's like a halfway thing, like he opened 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:40.880 the door for me, hands me the umbrella already open 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.240 or maybe even closed. I could open my own fucking umbrella. 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.200 But my point is, do you even need it? You 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:51.120 even need someone standing there opening the door handing your umbrella? 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.560 Or why can't I come out the vehicle with the umbrella? 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:57.120 Is that not cool? Yeah? I don't know. I look, 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.720 so so I'm looking. I'm looking. So here's what I 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:06.360 did I google just now no images for celebrities with 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.679 assistance to hold umbrellas. So the second the first thing 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.760 comes up is Google images. I'm gonna pull it up 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.840 in a minute. The second is did he's assistant famous 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:19.040 for holding seven hundred dollar umbrella? Fozworth Bentley? Remember him? 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:20.720 We talked about him on the Morning Show years ago? 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:23.040 Oh my god, So that was definitely him there, well, 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.440 unless he got fired. Hold on, let me see how 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.720 much does an umbrella holder make? I mean and in 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:30.440 the you know if the in the grand scheme of 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.360 the payroll. I mean, all that stuff is being bankrolled 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:36.320 by Diddy. Right, so all the SUVs, the drivers, the 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:39.480 camera guys, all the hype men around him, the people, 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:43.040 the stunt guy, the car behind him, I mean, the 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.160 umbrella guy. They're all on payroll. How much does it 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.280 cost a year to pay an umbrell an umbrella guy? 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:52.160 How much is got? This guy got paid seven hundred 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.240 dollars a day to be Fosworth Bentley, which was not 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:59.720 his real name. He was holding umbrella? Oh did he 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:02.120 seven on jell umbrella? Yeah? Sorry, he said he hated 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:05.640 the nickname Fazworth Bentley. So maybe he's not with him anymore. Uh, 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:09.760 let me see what he does here. He's not his assistant. Yep, right, 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.880 so so yeah, so I mean and at some point 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.080 in the grand scheme of a posse or a an 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:21.280 entourage or a click or a squad, and you have 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.040 to cut and times are tough, and you've got to 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.040 start cutting salaries and you gotta make budget cuts. You 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:32.480 gotta find who goes first? Who goes first? I think first. 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.640 I know his name is Derek Watkins. It depends on 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.880 how badly you don't want to get wet he has music? 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.000 Then who would be out? Who would be on the 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.240 balls of their ass Like, who's like losing their job first? 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.520 If umbrella guy stays like what, like what? What is 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:50.600 a more meaningless job than that? I don't know, dude, 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:52.240 But it says here according to this article, and you 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:54.600 know these aren't always real, but it says according to 0:15:55.040 --> 0:16:00.200 celebrity net worth, uh, the celebrity assistant turned entrepreneurs worth 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.400 two million dollars. It seems when told his assistant his 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:07.000 life would change forever, he was completely accurate. Wow, So 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:11.480 umbrella guy is now a celebrity himself. But my question 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.440 is does he have an umbrella guy? Now? Umbrellas right, 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.040 I'm watching Let's see one of the Kardashians as an 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.640 umbrella person, I can't see because there's no let's see 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.120 this says, um hold my umbrella. Fergie has an umbrella person, 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.760 and Helen Mirren has an umbrella person. I gotta say, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.120 if you want to be a person to the people, 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:37.400 oh J Low has no surprise Mariah, Mariah probably has 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.440 two Yeah, paid six celebrities who can't be bothered to 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:44.960 hold their own umbrella? Is that list here? So? I mean, 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:49.040 would you don't? It doesn't matter how big I get 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.320 as a celebt. Let's say, let's say I I freaking 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:56.680 Margot Robbie apparently as an umbrella man. Let's say, let's 0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:59.080 see Kate will get it. I get it if if 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.160 I mean in Augan Freeman, he's the voice of SUV 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.240 and I'm paying for your service, I understand somebody wants 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:07.920 to come around or open the door. I don't even 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.840 want I don't I don't even want a door opener 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:15.840 Kate Blanchet, Kylie Jenner and Tiger. But I would allow 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.600 I would allow someone to open the door and and 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.639 and maybe hand me an umbrella. But I want to 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:22.640 I want to pull the umbrella up and I want 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:24.919 to walk in by myself on my own accord. Okay, 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.760 this is not right, this is not right. Who would 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.720 be the most ironic person to have someone hold their 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:37.840 umbrella for the guys hold me umbrella, you can hold 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:43.080 you can hold my umbrella. I'll stand under your umbrella 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:48.959 because you're holding it. Wow. Let's say Rita Aura has 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:50.919 an umbrella person. She doesn't have enough hits to be 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:57.200 at umbrella persons. Megan Fox has an umbrella, Lissa Milano, 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.480 let's see. But I would see again, Brodie. Brodie stopped 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:05.240 for a second. What I'm saying is, wouldn't you want 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:10.840 to portray an image of um, I'm normal like you. 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:15.479 I'm like you, and it's a difference. Oh, Jennifer Anderston 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:20.200 has the celebrity assistant holding it's just so fucking like elite. 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.920 It's elite. I don't I don't care what you say. 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:27.720 It's unrelatable to the to your audience. Okay, why do 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.720 you think people watch the Kardashians. You think they watched 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.120 them because they're interesting, bright people. They watched them because 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:37.920 they're rich and and also because they're stupid. But they 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:40.639 do it because they people like watching opulence. Don't remember 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:44.080 that show in the seventies, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.840 People would sit and watch this guy what was his name, Robin, 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:50.200 Robin Leach, Robin Leach, and he would go on. He 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.080 would take you on tours of rich people's homes and 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:55.120 he would show how rich they were. That only does 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.960 is make me angry. It makes me want to want 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.760 to not support that person. It's like when they show 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.520 these on Saturday mornings, they have these like fucking open 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:07.040 house shows where they show these opulent mansions worth a 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.400 hundred million dollars. Why would why would I want to 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:14.560 watch that? I want to kill myself after that. I'm this, 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.680 I'm ridiculous. Maybe I'll put it on for five minutes 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.800 and I'll shut it off. I'm like, fuck you your money. 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:23.600 You know everything's relevant, right, You've heard the expression everything 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.359 is relevant. You don't think there are people who follow 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:29.119 you say on social media and wish they had a 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:32.400 BMW and wish they could eat in the restaurant. I'm 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.440 a normal guy. I'm just an average dude. You can't 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:38.119 say that. I don't. I'm not I'm not in that realm. 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:42.040 But what I'm saying is there are people who enjoy it. 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.000 There are people who like live vicariously through you, through me, 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:49.160 through other people, as we do other people. So people like, oh, 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:50.919 I wish I could go to that Broadway show. They 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.280 like they like seeing what we post because they like 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.399 seeing that although we're regular people. I clear my own table. 0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:58.400 It's smash Parker. I don't leave it for the people 0:19:58.440 --> 0:20:00.920 to come get it. That's who I am. I work. 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:03.440 I stacked the plates if they want me to stack 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:05.119 the plates when I'm at a restaurant, you know, when 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:07.639 they're cleaning the table. But the point is the point 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:11.960 is the umbrella carriers look to me, it's like obnoxious. 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:15.880 But but the celebrities get to look good. They get 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.240 to pose for pictures, which is what people want. They 0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:20.240 get to have their hands free and look good. And 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:21.800 they don't want to have a picture where they're like, 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:27.840 they're like, i'll meet you, I'll meet you halfway. I'll 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:31.800 get a photographer because photographer is somebody. Well, then I 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:33.359 don't have to hold my own phone, and look do it. 0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:36.440 You have to hold your own phone. But you want, 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.800 you want to be photographed, and you know you don't 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:40.640 want to have to say, hey, could you hold my counter. 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:44.320 I understand the idea. If you're a big, famous, rich 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:47.560 celebrity and you want a photographer to follow you around, 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:52.960 that makes sense, practical controlling the narrative that one. Then 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:54.480 I can, but then you can. You can get me 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:58.360 in my natural habitat maybe I'm just sitting around. I'm 0:20:58.400 --> 0:21:01.119 sitting to McDonald's eating some fry. You get a picture 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:03.240 of me, and then I posted on my social you 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:05.240