Speaker 1: Start uf dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boy Data they making noise data up. Episode two
Speaker 1: thirty one. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Is that that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Thirty one. It's just it's not a fun number. It
Speaker 1: is to thirty fun. We can rename it to thirty fun. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: now it's much better. From now on, this will go
Speaker 1: down as the episode to thirty fun because it's extra fun. Today.
Speaker 1: I've got stuff, You've got stuff. Yeah, I think it is. Well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's gorgeous sunny day. It's Friday when we're recording this.
Speaker 1: You know that means that means Scary wants to be outside.
Speaker 1: So this may be a short podcast. No, that's not true. No,
Speaker 1: I mean I do want to be outside, and I
Speaker 1: think I will be outside at some point. I thought
Speaker 1: of you last night speaking to being outside. Why is that? Well?
Speaker 1: I was iving through. Uh. We went to dinner last
Speaker 1: night at Author and Sons. I've talked about it before. Yes,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'll talk about the food in a minute.
Speaker 1: The check my Instagram story. The food was unbelievable. I
Speaker 1: had a chicken palm of what with vodka sauce. Oh
Speaker 1: scary can imagine, I can imagine. I got okay. So,
Speaker 1: driving through the village to get home, it was raining
Speaker 1: last night and it was a large building I want
Speaker 1: to say in the West Village. I don't know what
Speaker 1: street because I hit a dead end stop sign, had
Speaker 1: to make a left. I'll try to remember where it was.
Speaker 1: But at the top of this building was a rooftop
Speaker 1: of lights. And it was a two level rooftop. So
Speaker 1: whatever is going on up there in the rain, it
Speaker 1: looked like I gotta find that Scary's gotta go here.
Speaker 1: It's got Because you've never met a rooftop bar you
Speaker 1: didn't like? No, no, certainly not. Well, well, let me
Speaker 1: know the name of it so I can do it
Speaker 1: on my list. I put it on my list. You know,
Speaker 1: I gotta figure out. I gotta track my my root
Speaker 1: last night and see where I was because it was raining,
Speaker 1: I didn't even see the streets sides. Really, I turned,
Speaker 1: I made a there was this giant apartment building maybe
Speaker 1: or and it was just lights on the top and
Speaker 1: it looked like it was the flashing. I was something
Speaker 1: was going on. I'm like, oh, I wonder if Scary
Speaker 1: is there. You are there, I mean you know, I
Speaker 1: like when some of these places they still do it.
Speaker 1: They used to do it more in the nineties and
Speaker 1: two thousand's when they hire a truck, a flatbed truck
Speaker 1: with the spotlight, four huge spotlights on it, and they
Speaker 1: the spotlights kind of kind of rotate in circles and
Speaker 1: whatever the case, and they're aimed at the sky. It's
Speaker 1: it's and they're the brightest freaking lights you ever did see.
Speaker 1: And I guess and and basically they shine them up
Speaker 1: in the sky. So you probably, you know, if you're
Speaker 1: wherever you are in the neighborhood, you look and you
Speaker 1: see these these spotlights kind of going back and forth
Speaker 1: looking for like, you know, whatever, and they're they're kind
Speaker 1: of flawling in the sky and you're like, oh, where's
Speaker 1: that coming from? What, what's going on? Something big must
Speaker 1: be happening. You know. They used to use it, I
Speaker 1: guess in old Hollywood, you know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: the spotlight that kind of like crushed into the X
Speaker 1: and they go back. So they there's companies that make
Speaker 1: these spotlights in large format on and put them on
Speaker 1: these huge flatbed truck and they pull up in front
Speaker 1: of the Usually it's like a club, a grand opening
Speaker 1: of a club. Back in the day, that's where they
Speaker 1: would use them. Um. But like you know, I've seen it.
Speaker 1: And my buddy had his restaurant reopening and he he
Speaker 1: wanted all the bally who, all the lights and all
Speaker 1: the all the you know whatever, the frivolity that goes
Speaker 1: with that, the chaos. So he hired one of those trucks.
Speaker 1: I don't mean, God knows how much energy it took,
Speaker 1: and his electric bill must have been through the roof.
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you do Pete. Where my question is,
Speaker 1: do you think people see the lights in the sky,
Speaker 1: say let's go follow that, let's see where that leads to,
Speaker 1: and and then they discover the grand opening of said
Speaker 1: club or do you think that it's a waste of
Speaker 1: money and electricity. I don't know. I think I think
Speaker 1: it's like a crime scene. Now, Like I see that,
Speaker 1: I feel like bat is gonna be there and it's
Speaker 1: a crime scene. That's exactly what I was looking for,
Speaker 1: the Batman insignia in the sky. Right. So yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: but you know we've seen these before in places. No, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: but here. Now here's the other thing about events and
Speaker 1: and like big openings, grand grand opening, grand closing, jay Z,
Speaker 1: have you ever driven in in in whatever city you
Speaker 1: live in, you drive by like a regular storefront or
Speaker 1: like just a door, there's the and there's a crowd
Speaker 1: of people, but there's no signs as to why, and
Speaker 1: you have no clue, like what's going on there? That's right,
Speaker 1: I stopped. Yeah, right, So last night there's uh, I
Speaker 1: think we were on maybe a West third I don't
Speaker 1: remember again, it was the West Village and we're driving
Speaker 1: down the side street and a we were between seventh
Speaker 1: and eighth Avenue and there was some fancy stores on
Speaker 1: the left, and there was some nice cars, and it
Speaker 1: was it was double parking. People were like jumping out
Speaker 1: of their cars, so you had to stop and wait.
Speaker 1: This one woman just thick thick with a th h
Speaker 1: I C C thick thick like she was wearing an
Speaker 1: orange track suit and she kind of kind of looked
Speaker 1: like a pumpkin. All right, jumps apparatus right. Oh, by
Speaker 1: the way, that's funny you mentioned that Red I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tangent now. Last night my wife says to me, oh,
Speaker 1: that band you like from the two thousand's Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Yes,
Speaker 1: they are re releasing face Down this year. A symphonic version.
Speaker 1: Were like an orchestra O. Man, that was I was.
Speaker 1: It was like a hard rock song that we used
Speaker 1: to play. Yeah, two thousands of my wife's I said,
Speaker 1: how old is that song? So it's two thousand five, Go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, seventeen years as great powerful lyrics about Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's about domestic domestic abuse. So she's funny. And do
Speaker 1: you remember we had an intern? Oh no, I knew
Speaker 1: you're gonna go there, So that's what I was thinking
Speaker 1: about last night. So no names, but we had an intern.
Speaker 1: She used to wear red track suits track suits to work,
Speaker 1: so somebody, not me, and I would like, I would
Speaker 1: not do that to my entire but it was a
Speaker 1: very very clever name. Started calling her red track suit apparatus.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know this because no one wanted to
Speaker 1: tell me because they're my intern, so they wanted me
Speaker 1: to know. So after the semester, they're like, oh uh,
Speaker 1: what happened to Red track suit apparatus. She's not coming
Speaker 1: back to semester. And she was really good. She just
Speaker 1: she so was this the wrong timing for her? It
Speaker 1: was a lure like she was in the mob, as
Speaker 1: if the mob the orange track suit apparatus. Uh what
Speaker 1: about right, So she gets out of the car and
Speaker 1: she walks towards the front of the store. It was
Speaker 1: blue something blue blue, ocean blue. But yeah, right, I
Speaker 1: feel I feel sixty five was there. So she gets
Speaker 1: out of the car. I want to say, like, uh,
Speaker 1: the ft from the store. Where this people gathering out
Speaker 1: of another fancy car, no joke. Scary Another guy, another one,
Speaker 1: another guy. He gets out of his car and he's
Speaker 1: wearing it. It It looks like a banana. He's wearing a
Speaker 1: yellow tracks and it was like vlore. I was like,
Speaker 1: it wasn't like I didn't see like stripes or zippers.
Speaker 1: It was like they were going to a costume party
Speaker 1: where everyone had to be a part of the rainbow.
Speaker 1: This guy was wearing a yellow jack and yellow. It's
Speaker 1: just all yellow. And I said to my wife, because
Speaker 1: we're creeping in this as we're waiting to pull up,
Speaker 1: I bet you those two know each other. Now they
Speaker 1: got out of cars like five cars away from each other,
Speaker 1: and sure enough they got together without and this this
Speaker 1: crowd was forming outside of this retail store that didn't
Speaker 1: look like it was open yet it was nine o'clock
Speaker 1: at night. I don't know, but something was going on
Speaker 1: there last night and ill, and so my wife says
Speaker 1: to me, she looked up the store, the store name,
Speaker 1: and she said, it's a very expensive store, like like
Speaker 1: boogie expensive. So and then she was though, some people
Speaker 1: I don't think they shopped there because they were dressed
Speaker 1: in track suits. But then I thought, maybe they do
Speaker 1: when they save money by wearing tracksuits three days a week.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then more people got out of
Speaker 1: the cars and it looked like it looked like people
Speaker 1: who spend more money on their cars than their clothing.
Speaker 1: But something was going on, right, and you're like, you're
Speaker 1: busting right, You're busting a No, I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. Thank you, Solo Asylum.
Speaker 1: But if I don't know, if I'm being honest, I
Speaker 1: feel like that was the whole premise of the whole
Speaker 1: clubs you can't come in bottle service thing of the
Speaker 1: two thousands and nineties, where they would let people make
Speaker 1: people wait outside the place would be empty inside. Yeah,
Speaker 1: losing money by the minute, mind you, because they're not
Speaker 1: ringing up a liquor bill at the bar, and the
Speaker 1: club owners would would prefer that because it would just
Speaker 1: advertisement for more people to just jump on the line.
Speaker 1: Now people don't have the patience to tell you go
Speaker 1: fund yourself, so that that trick doesn't really work anymore.
Speaker 1: Because I see a line, I'm walking the other way. Wow, Unless,
Speaker 1: of course, you know, I'm expected if my name is
Speaker 1: on the list and I know someone, If I got
Speaker 1: a guy, then then I then I get get in.
Speaker 1: I go get it, I go to the front, I
Speaker 1: get Have you ever been to a club? I don't
Speaker 1: know if they still do this because my club days
Speaker 1: are gone, But have you ever been to a club
Speaker 1: or some kind of elite thing. We have to stand
Speaker 1: outside and the bouncer picks people he likes what they
Speaker 1: look like out of the crowd to go in. Yes,
Speaker 1: annoying as funk and again you and you've been picked? No? Never, No,
Speaker 1: I got picked once you did? I did? I know
Speaker 1: it's shocking for the deadbeat club or what that? No.
Speaker 1: I was remember the club Limelight, Yes, so I took
Speaker 1: my then girlfriend who's who's now my wife. But we
Speaker 1: went to the Limelight, which was an old church converted
Speaker 1: into a club and concert hall for a while. Allegedly,
Speaker 1: um people would do coke off the fireplace mantele. It
Speaker 1: was that kind of place. So we went one night,
Speaker 1: uh to to go hang on Friday, Saturday night whatever,
Speaker 1: and I had just gotten off work. So I was
Speaker 1: won a shirt and tie. This was back in my
Speaker 1: retail days, as when a shirt and tie and I
Speaker 1: don't know, jeans whatever, and uh we were standing outside
Speaker 1: and the guy was like, everybody has to wait out here.
Speaker 1: I need a clipboard, the whole thing. So the shirt
Speaker 1: and ties? What got you in? Yeah? A shirt and tie?
Speaker 1: So weird brody because if you think about it, those
Speaker 1: are the people that they don't allow in because that's
Speaker 1: like we don't want these business types. Yeah, well I worked.
Speaker 1: It was it's in Chelsea, that part of Manhattan, and
Speaker 1: I worked. I worked at and they were, you know,
Speaker 1: they were looking for Brooklyn Industrial. They were all even
Speaker 1: back in the day. So this was I want to
Speaker 1: say it was uh ninety six a while ago. But
Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, you can go, and you got
Speaker 1: you too. We looked at each other like what yeah,
Speaker 1: but we looked behind us like the day point to
Speaker 1: the people behind us, But no, it was us. We
Speaker 1: got to go in and we had a great time.
Speaker 1: That's it was the weirdest feeling because oh, I have
Speaker 1: to tell you about remind me to tell you about
Speaker 1: about what I won something? All right, Well, speaking of
Speaker 1: getting picked and well, speaking of speaking of getting out
Speaker 1: of vehicles. The other day, Um Garrett Garrett from the
Speaker 1: Morning Show, was giving me a ride home and we
Speaker 1: just see a sea of SUVs in the back of
Speaker 1: our building, you know, with the with you know, the
Speaker 1: where the where with the radio station and and it's
Speaker 1: like just all Cadillac escalades. But we were we were
Speaker 1: parked a block south of that, and we're going north.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, what's what's the commotion up ahead on
Speaker 1: the So it was raining out. It was pouring as
Speaker 1: a matter of fact, and you know, we kind of
Speaker 1: did the slow roll to see what the hell, because
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, everyone started jumping out of the vehicles,
Speaker 1: all at the same time. All of a sudden, at
Speaker 1: one vehicle, one guy comes running over from the other
Speaker 1: side of the vehicle from the outside. You know, they
Speaker 1: went on the driver's side and they came out the
Speaker 1: passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler
Speaker 1: at me. No, we were, we were. We were to
Speaker 1: the right of the passenger, so we were looking left. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we were looking to our left. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: the door opens and the one guy stands over the
Speaker 1: door and holds the umbrella, and I'm like, did he
Speaker 1: did he had an umbrella guy? It's funny you mentioned it.
Speaker 1: It was Diddy. Did he comes out of the vehicle?
Speaker 1: Did he pops out of the did he always has
Speaker 1: an umbrella guy? So so it leads me. Well, so,
Speaker 1: so we were focused on that point because I'm like,
Speaker 1: all these people walking out could have been any one
Speaker 1: of them could have been a celebrity, because you know,
Speaker 1: all of them are dressed, blinged out and ship and
Speaker 1: then one guy's holding the camera. But honestly, we're like, okay,
Speaker 1: wherever the umbrella guy stands waiting, that's that's the celebrity.
Speaker 1: So we slowed up, and sure enough, umbrella guy had
Speaker 1: that the door was opened, had the umbrella up, and
Speaker 1: out walks Diddy and we was right there. I mean literally,
Speaker 1: Gary could have like open rolled down the window and
Speaker 1: give him a high five. We were right next to him.
Speaker 1: But I'm sitting there, like, who the funk has an
Speaker 1: umbrella guy? At this point? Would you, okay, even if
Speaker 1: you were a big celebrity, would you would you want
Speaker 1: umbrella guy? Or would you think that that's just stupid.
Speaker 1: I'd like to think I am a celebrity, you know,
Speaker 1: like like I wouldn't even humble. I have to be
Speaker 1: I'm a humble dude. Okay, Okay, maybe maybe I would
Speaker 1: do this. Maybe I if I was ditty, maybe I
Speaker 1: would pop out the vehicle and I would let the
Speaker 1: umbrella guy hand me the umbrella and then I would
Speaker 1: walk away so like I wouldn't get wet. And then
Speaker 1: this way, it's like a halfway thing, like he opened
Speaker 1: the door for me, hands me the umbrella already open
Speaker 1: or maybe even closed. I could open my own fucking umbrella.
Speaker 1: But my point is, do you even need it? You
Speaker 1: even need someone standing there opening the door handing your umbrella?
Speaker 1: Or why can't I come out the vehicle with the umbrella?
Speaker 1: Is that not cool? Yeah? I don't know. I look,
Speaker 1: so so I'm looking. I'm looking. So here's what I
Speaker 1: did I google just now no images for celebrities with
Speaker 1: assistance to hold umbrellas. So the second the first thing
Speaker 1: comes up is Google images. I'm gonna pull it up
Speaker 1: in a minute. The second is did he's assistant famous
Speaker 1: for holding seven hundred dollar umbrella? Fozworth Bentley? Remember him?
Speaker 1: We talked about him on the Morning Show years ago?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, So that was definitely him there, well,
Speaker 1: unless he got fired. Hold on, let me see how
Speaker 1: much does an umbrella holder make? I mean and in
Speaker 1: the you know if the in the grand scheme of
Speaker 1: the payroll. I mean, all that stuff is being bankrolled
Speaker 1: by Diddy. Right, so all the SUVs, the drivers, the
Speaker 1: camera guys, all the hype men around him, the people,
Speaker 1: the stunt guy, the car behind him, I mean, the
Speaker 1: umbrella guy. They're all on payroll. How much does it
Speaker 1: cost a year to pay an umbrell an umbrella guy?
Speaker 1: How much is got? This guy got paid seven hundred
Speaker 1: dollars a day to be Fosworth Bentley, which was not
Speaker 1: his real name. He was holding umbrella? Oh did he
Speaker 1: seven on jell umbrella? Yeah? Sorry, he said he hated
Speaker 1: the nickname Fazworth Bentley. So maybe he's not with him anymore. Uh,
Speaker 1: let me see what he does here. He's not his assistant. Yep, right,
Speaker 1: so so yeah, so I mean and at some point
Speaker 1: in the grand scheme of a posse or a an
Speaker 1: entourage or a click or a squad, and you have
Speaker 1: to cut and times are tough, and you've got to
Speaker 1: start cutting salaries and you gotta make budget cuts. You
Speaker 1: gotta find who goes first? Who goes first? I think first.
Speaker 1: I know his name is Derek Watkins. It depends on
Speaker 1: how badly you don't want to get wet he has music?
Speaker 1: Then who would be out? Who would be on the
Speaker 1: balls of their ass Like, who's like losing their job first?
Speaker 1: If umbrella guy stays like what, like what? What is
Speaker 1: a more meaningless job than that? I don't know, dude,
Speaker 1: But it says here according to this article, and you
Speaker 1: know these aren't always real, but it says according to
Speaker 1: celebrity net worth, uh, the celebrity assistant turned entrepreneurs worth
Speaker 1: two million dollars. It seems when told his assistant his
Speaker 1: life would change forever, he was completely accurate. Wow, So
Speaker 1: umbrella guy is now a celebrity himself. But my question
Speaker 1: is does he have an umbrella guy? Now? Umbrellas right,
Speaker 1: I'm watching Let's see one of the Kardashians as an
Speaker 1: umbrella person, I can't see because there's no let's see
Speaker 1: this says, um hold my umbrella. Fergie has an umbrella person,
Speaker 1: and Helen Mirren has an umbrella person. I gotta say,
Speaker 1: if you want to be a person to the people,
Speaker 1: oh J Low has no surprise Mariah, Mariah probably has
Speaker 1: two Yeah, paid six celebrities who can't be bothered to
Speaker 1: hold their own umbrella? Is that list here? So? I mean,
Speaker 1: would you don't? It doesn't matter how big I get
Speaker 1: as a celebt. Let's say, let's say I I freaking
Speaker 1: Margot Robbie apparently as an umbrella man. Let's say, let's
Speaker 1: see Kate will get it. I get it if if
Speaker 1: I mean in Augan Freeman, he's the voice of SUV
Speaker 1: and I'm paying for your service, I understand somebody wants
Speaker 1: to come around or open the door. I don't even
Speaker 1: want I don't I don't even want a door opener
Speaker 1: Kate Blanchet, Kylie Jenner and Tiger. But I would allow
Speaker 1: I would allow someone to open the door and and
Speaker 1: and maybe hand me an umbrella. But I want to
Speaker 1: I want to pull the umbrella up and I want
Speaker 1: to walk in by myself on my own accord. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is not right, this is not right. Who would
Speaker 1: be the most ironic person to have someone hold their
Speaker 1: umbrella for the guys hold me umbrella, you can hold
Speaker 1: you can hold my umbrella. I'll stand under your umbrella
Speaker 1: because you're holding it. Wow. Let's say Rita Aura has
Speaker 1: an umbrella person. She doesn't have enough hits to be
Speaker 1: at umbrella persons. Megan Fox has an umbrella, Lissa Milano,
Speaker 1: let's see. But I would see again, Brodie. Brodie stopped
Speaker 1: for a second. What I'm saying is, wouldn't you want
Speaker 1: to portray an image of um, I'm normal like you.
Speaker 1: I'm like you, and it's a difference. Oh, Jennifer Anderston
Speaker 1: has the celebrity assistant holding it's just so fucking like elite.
Speaker 1: It's elite. I don't I don't care what you say.
Speaker 1: It's unrelatable to the to your audience. Okay, why do
Speaker 1: you think people watch the Kardashians. You think they watched
Speaker 1: them because they're interesting, bright people. They watched them because
Speaker 1: they're rich and and also because they're stupid. But they
Speaker 1: do it because they people like watching opulence. Don't remember
Speaker 1: that show in the seventies, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
Speaker 1: People would sit and watch this guy what was his name, Robin,
Speaker 1: Robin Leach, Robin Leach, and he would go on. He
Speaker 1: would take you on tours of rich people's homes and
Speaker 1: he would show how rich they were. That only does
Speaker 1: is make me angry. It makes me want to want
Speaker 1: to not support that person. It's like when they show
Speaker 1: these on Saturday mornings, they have these like fucking open
Speaker 1: house shows where they show these opulent mansions worth a
Speaker 1: hundred million dollars. Why would why would I want to
Speaker 1: watch that? I want to kill myself after that. I'm this,
Speaker 1: I'm ridiculous. Maybe I'll put it on for five minutes
Speaker 1: and I'll shut it off. I'm like, fuck you your money.
Speaker 1: You know everything's relevant, right, You've heard the expression everything
Speaker 1: is relevant. You don't think there are people who follow
Speaker 1: you say on social media and wish they had a
Speaker 1: BMW and wish they could eat in the restaurant. I'm
Speaker 1: a normal guy. I'm just an average dude. You can't
Speaker 1: say that. I don't. I'm not I'm not in that realm.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is there are people who enjoy it.
Speaker 1: There are people who like live vicariously through you, through me,
Speaker 1: through other people, as we do other people. So people like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wish I could go to that Broadway show. They
Speaker 1: like they like seeing what we post because they like
Speaker 1: seeing that although we're regular people. I clear my own table.
Speaker 1: It's smash Parker. I don't leave it for the people
Speaker 1: to come get it. That's who I am. I work.
Speaker 1: I stacked the plates if they want me to stack
Speaker 1: the plates when I'm at a restaurant, you know, when
Speaker 1: they're cleaning the table. But the point is the point
Speaker 1: is the umbrella carriers look to me, it's like obnoxious.
Speaker 1: But but the celebrities get to look good. They get
Speaker 1: to pose for pictures, which is what people want. They
Speaker 1: get to have their hands free and look good. And
Speaker 1: they don't want to have a picture where they're like,
Speaker 1: they're like, i'll meet you, I'll meet you halfway. I'll
Speaker 1: get a photographer because photographer is somebody. Well, then I
Speaker 1: don't have to hold my own phone, and look do it.
Speaker 1: You have to hold your own phone. But you want,
Speaker 1: you want to be photographed, and you know you don't
Speaker 1: want to have to say, hey, could you hold my counter.
Speaker 1: I understand the idea. If you're a big, famous, rich
Speaker 1: celebrity and you want a photographer to follow you around,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, practical controlling the narrative that one. Then
Speaker 1: I can, but then you can. You can get me
Speaker 1: in my natural habitat maybe I'm just sitting around. I'm
Speaker 1: sitting to McDonald's eating some fry. You get a picture
Speaker 1: of me, and then I posted on my social you
Speaker 1: know whatever. You know what. That's why I don't post
Speaker 1: a lot on my social media, on my because I
Speaker 1: don't have a whole I don't have a lot of
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of pictures because I'm always
Speaker 1: by myself. So it's like, it's stupid to see you
Speaker 1: need you need if you want to be real scary,
Speaker 1: you need to be real. APP. I have to be
Speaker 1: real APP. I haven't posted on that yet. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: all right, listen, we gotta take a quick break. Alright,
Speaker 1: good bye and Rod? The hell is it with a goodbye?
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Because I missed you for the
Speaker 1: You're like goodbye. I'm like, wow, that's quick. See it? Well,
Speaker 1: it's weird for us because it's like when people record.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this when people record countdown shows, like
Speaker 1: on the radio, they're like, oh, yeah, you two is
Speaker 1: taken over the radio station for six hours tomorrow, that's
Speaker 1: already recorded. They spent like forty minutes recording the intros
Speaker 1: and the outros. That's why they don't always match up
Speaker 1: to what they're saying. Or like you watch MTV, you know,
Speaker 1: like back in the day, at least do the countdown.
Speaker 1: The VJs aren't sitting there for two hours. They record
Speaker 1: all the video for the intro and outros and they
Speaker 1: go so for them, it's like it's like when you
Speaker 1: watch when you watch like late night talk shows and
Speaker 1: they have a guest on and they go, we'll be
Speaker 1: right back. Yeah. A lot of times you'll see when
Speaker 1: they say, all right, we gotta take a break here,
Speaker 1: they record that afterwards, they don't stop the interview. Some
Speaker 1: something like when I used to go watch David Lettiman,
Speaker 1: he would stop the interviews and they would break for
Speaker 1: the exact amount of time. But when you watch something
Speaker 1: like I watched Late Night with Late Show Stephen Colbert
Speaker 1: sometimes as an example, and Fallon does it too, You'll
Speaker 1: you'll see him say we're gonna take a break. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back with more of whoever. But it's there's
Speaker 1: always an edit there and then they film that because
Speaker 1: a lot of times the guests will be like excited
Speaker 1: and then they they'll show him in the hands are
Speaker 1: not where they are. It's clearly an edit. So for them,
Speaker 1: you feel like five minutes went by that they Oh,
Speaker 1: I wonder what they were sitting there talking about. They
Speaker 1: may not have been sitting there talking. They may have
Speaker 1: just done the whole interview. And so for us, yeah,
Speaker 1: we we we say we'll be right back after this,
Speaker 1: but we don't have the commercials playing with. It's not
Speaker 1: like we don't know, we don't know what we what
Speaker 1: WI just played? So like nobody, nobody assist to us.
Speaker 1: What do you guys do doing the commercial? Nothing? Nothing happened. Hey,
Speaker 1: So I said goodbye, because in real life we'll be
Speaker 1: gone for three minutes or two minutes or whatever. You know,
Speaker 1: do you ever find yourself rooting for the enemy, the villain,
Speaker 1: rooting for the villain here's why in a movie or
Speaker 1: TV show. Well, in real life, unfortunately, I fell into
Speaker 1: this rabbit hole. You've gone for Russia a little bit,
Speaker 1: like what are you talking about? No, No, let me
Speaker 1: clarify quickly before you try and sink me for no reason.
Speaker 1: You know, do you do? You? You root for cancer
Speaker 1: against people? Like, what are we talking about? We're talking
Speaker 1: about um you've seen that. You've seen the Netflix series
Speaker 1: Inventing Anna, you know Anna Sark and have not seen
Speaker 1: it is a little bit on The Big Show and
Speaker 1: a little bit on my other podcast, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: Speaking Volumes with Sharon Scary Um I talked a little
Speaker 1: bit about it and and this is, by the way,
Speaker 1: those sneakers are ugly. Oh the Okay, that's a whole
Speaker 1: other story, but that's those are my Those are my
Speaker 1: pizza sneakers. Yeah, pizza sneakers. Show your co host share
Speaker 1: You asked her if she liked them, and she's like yeah,
Speaker 1: and you like, would you wear the She's like, hell, right, exactly,
Speaker 1: thanks my point. So that's a whole other thing. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so so Anna Dels you know is it was? She
Speaker 1: claimed that she was an heiress too, and she had
Speaker 1: crazy money back in Germany but she couldn't lock it.
Speaker 1: But yet she wanted to do big things in the
Speaker 1: art world in in New York City. Based on a
Speaker 1: true story. By the way, she did all this stuff,
Speaker 1: but obviously, you know, the Netflix series made it a
Speaker 1: little juicier. So she she ends up like pretty much
Speaker 1: stealing people's credit cards by going on shopping spreeze, fooling
Speaker 1: people to thinking that she was someone she wasn't. She
Speaker 1: literally tried to pull the wool over everyone's eyes, and my,
Speaker 1: oh my. I don't want to give too much away,
Speaker 1: but she got pretty damn close, all right, from getting
Speaker 1: like the top real estate and bankers in the world.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so so she was put in prison, uh
Speaker 1: several months ago in real life, and she's been in prison.
Speaker 1: Uh and and that's where the whole thing starts. Just
Speaker 1: the story starts with her in prison looking back at
Speaker 1: the hotelling the whole story played by Julia Garner. Ruth
Speaker 1: ozark Uh did an amazing job as Anna Devy. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do the accent right now, but anyway,
Speaker 1: the larger point. Last week The Post New York Post
Speaker 1: reported and several outlets reported that she was being released
Speaker 1: from prison under the condition that she gets to well,
Speaker 1: she can't be on social media and she's under house arrest.
Speaker 1: So I was after seeing Inventing Anna and seeing all
Speaker 1: the things that she's done because she was the main character,
Speaker 1: and somehow motions developed in my head and a lot
Speaker 1: of people will relate. I found myself excited that she
Speaker 1: got out of prison, but she's a fucking criminal in
Speaker 1: real life. She's a real criminal, you know. And I'm
Speaker 1: sitting there like, how the hell can I find myself
Speaker 1: rooting for someone who is did some evil things and
Speaker 1: tried to get pull the wool over everybody's eyes. And
Speaker 1: I feel like we do that sometimes in life, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you know, you fall in love with the character,
Speaker 1: like Tony Soprano, that's the ideas that one of the
Speaker 1: ultimate examples. He's a fucking villain, he's evil, he kills people,
Speaker 1: but yet he was a big, huggable teddy bear and
Speaker 1: you fucking love him so and not even love to hate,
Speaker 1: you fucking love him. So it's almost like a mind fuck. No, well,
Speaker 1: I he like the hero. It's like you. It's almost
Speaker 1: like they're toying with your emotions. It's twisting because I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be feeling these feelings, but I am. Well, listen,
Speaker 1: there are people who watch Dahmer and and not just
Speaker 1: the new Damer show, but every Damer show. They always
Speaker 1: cast a good looking guy to play Jeffrey Dahmer, and
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, you know how many women used
Speaker 1: to write him letters in prison and and and head
Speaker 1: crushes on him because he was good look and he
Speaker 1: had you know, nice eyes. He ate people, right, Listen,
Speaker 1: there are people who will root for anybody, no matter
Speaker 1: how awful they are. And I and I I mean
Speaker 1: I I think if you put on the news, uh,
Speaker 1: you will see people rooting for awful human beings. And
Speaker 1: and I think you get caught up in it, whether
Speaker 1: it's the money, the fame, you you overlook all of
Speaker 1: the awful things they did because you're caught up in it.
Speaker 1: You're caught up in the other stuff. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that can't a person can't be awful because look they
Speaker 1: they they are successful and rich and whatever. And you
Speaker 1: get wrapped up in it. You know, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: a weird. It's a human thing. But you you will justify,
Speaker 1: and you will justify and you will make excuses for
Speaker 1: and you will do anything if you believe in someone,
Speaker 1: whether it's a real person or a character. And I
Speaker 1: think people listening can figure out, uh, someone in in
Speaker 1: There are people in the you can. You can think
Speaker 1: of someone in the world right now, Uh, let's say
Speaker 1: a world leader. There. I'm you know, for a fact,
Speaker 1: there are world leaders that are awful people. But if
Speaker 1: if you, if you are a fan of theirs, you
Speaker 1: overlook the evilness and you blame everybody else. And that's
Speaker 1: everybody else, that everybody you know. So I feel like, yes,
Speaker 1: it's it's normal to root for the bad person. But
Speaker 1: someday you have to catch yourself and go, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I think I'm rooting for the bad person. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of Putin. Sorry, okay, good, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there are people who are. My point is, there's
Speaker 1: there's someone who likes everything. There's someone you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I get that it's I don't know,
Speaker 1: you've caught up. You kind of admire the woman. I
Speaker 1: bet you kind of admire the woman because she accomplished
Speaker 1: something and you're like, wow, she pulled the wall over
Speaker 1: people's eyes, and did anyone really get hurt? You know,
Speaker 1: you start making excuses a rich woman who was out
Speaker 1: thousands and thousands on her credit card, right, but then
Speaker 1: someone else will go that rich woman can spare it.
Speaker 1: This woman had a great time. I wish I could
Speaker 1: have done that well, so people will just okay, I'll
Speaker 1: take a step further. I want my girlfriend to dress
Speaker 1: up a se for Halloween. And you wanted to speak
Speaker 1: that way? Yeah, like skitty, I want you whatever VF
Speaker 1: is always better. I don't have time for this and
Speaker 1: I don't home time for y'all. Yeah, yeah, wow, this
Speaker 1: this Robin know this that you oh yeah, because because
Speaker 1: all you can need is the glasses, because that she's
Speaker 1: got those very specific glasses that you can find that
Speaker 1: shape and uh, do you make up and hair the
Speaker 1: right way and just get a bunch of empty bags
Speaker 1: from Balenciaga going up your arm on both sides with
Speaker 1: Louis Vutan over here, and and people will know the costume.
Speaker 1: In fact, I hear it is one of the costumes
Speaker 1: that a lot of people are a lot of women
Speaker 1: are trying to do this year. But I'm kay whatever,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, be honest, though, be honest. You wanted
Speaker 1: to wear that costume for Halloween so you can go
Speaker 1: to a party and she'll be cool, or you wanted
Speaker 1: to wear that costume for when you go home, and no,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking that now I'm thinking about that. Would you?
Speaker 1: Would you? Because I also wanted to do I want
Speaker 1: to do Beauty and the Beastie Boy. But we think
Speaker 1: that's a stretched as well, because you know, Beauty and
Speaker 1: the beast and I'd be. The problem is I saw
Speaker 1: a picture someone trying to pull it off and the
Speaker 1: Beastie Boy. Unless you wear a Beastie Boys T shirt
Speaker 1: along with it, it doesn't work because how do you
Speaker 1: become how do you be a beastie boy? And you
Speaker 1: wear a thick gold change exactly? This person a microphone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what they did. This guy did it. So
Speaker 1: I actually sent a picture to Robin and I said,
Speaker 1: all right, what is this costume? And she goes beauty
Speaker 1: and uh and she puts a bunch of question marks
Speaker 1: and I tried to give her hints and she goes
Speaker 1: na not having it, not not not coming at it.
Speaker 1: What the problem? Boys? The vision of the Beastie Boys
Speaker 1: old that the problem. Now they're old dudes who wear
Speaker 1: regular clothing, and two of them are still alive. Right now,
Speaker 1: I get it, I I whatever your boys from Brooklyn
Speaker 1: would get it. Yeah, yeah, well but you have to
Speaker 1: go to a party with them. Tell me, I think
Speaker 1: I go out what you go out with Karen Delavine
Speaker 1: whatever her name is, what's her name? Delavine who whatever
Speaker 1: name is? From the show the woman you're talking about
Speaker 1: when Robin ad dressed up Anna Delvi and a Delvi.
Speaker 1: Sorry you, she's dressed as Anna Delvi. You spend the
Speaker 1: whole night you're drinking, you know what. You go back,
Speaker 1: You go back to the apartment and she's like, so
Speaker 1: do you want to go to bed? And you you like?
Speaker 1: I watching no, Because inventing Anna, I wanted to choke her.
Speaker 1: That's the thing I wanted to tell you into man's business,
Speaker 1: I I don't. I didn't like her. And that's what
Speaker 1: my whole reason for bringing this up was because I
Speaker 1: was happy she got out of prison. That's all. It's
Speaker 1: not a fetish. I have a Delvie fetish. I don't
Speaker 1: you know. If you if you look at the real
Speaker 1: Anna Delvie in real life, she's you know, she's not
Speaker 1: as as easy on the eye as Julia Garner is.
Speaker 1: We get you. You You just subject now, please? What are
Speaker 1: you going to be for Halloween? Annoyed and grumpy? Is that?
Speaker 1: Is that? The eighth Dwarf Gum annoyed. Maybe I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see I mean, my wife and I going as annoyed
Speaker 1: and grumpy. No, I don't, I don't. I haven't been
Speaker 1: to a Halloween party in a while. I think the
Speaker 1: only Halloween customs I've worn recently are the ones we
Speaker 1: get free from whatever Halloween stores sponsoring the Morning show,
Speaker 1: and they would send me a customer every year. They
Speaker 1: dropped it on us that we don't have that partnership
Speaker 1: this year, so I'm well, I'm not missing anything you're not.
Speaker 1: So now I'm screwed. One more reason I left. Well,
Speaker 1: now I'm telling no free Halloween custom I guess I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to pull a repeat from a few years ago.
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe whatever it is, but but um,
Speaker 1: I think you know. Can I talk about customs for
Speaker 1: seconds and talking about costoms? Why not? I want to
Speaker 1: talk about the openmate costome place. I like our free
Speaker 1: flowing Yes, comic Con, I told you guys, I was
Speaker 1: going to go to comic Con and sign my new
Speaker 1: wacky packages stickers. It's wacky, so shout out to the
Speaker 1: twenty five or so slices that showed up. Almost all
Speaker 1: of them came up. And when Brody, I'm a Slice.
Speaker 1: They were very you know, like very open, but a
Speaker 1: couple of people like, oh, can you sign that card
Speaker 1: for me? I'm you know. I was like yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh I want you know I'm a fan.
Speaker 1: Oh fan of Wacky Packages. No, oh, fan of the
Speaker 1: morning Show. Well yeah, I'm I'm a fan of the podcast.
Speaker 1: So you're Slice. Yeah, Well they come up you know
Speaker 1: you're a Slice, Like hello, yeah, they were like look
Speaker 1: shy about being a Slice. Well you know what because
Speaker 1: I told the guy holding my umbrella that they had
Speaker 1: to talk to them first, so uh, he had to
Speaker 1: talk to They have talked to my umbrella guy before
Speaker 1: they come to me. No, I'm like, why are you
Speaker 1: Because I listen some people look at us a certain
Speaker 1: way and they were a little nervous to say hi.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna remind everybody don't be nervous. I'm just
Speaker 1: the guy who does a podcast. So anyway, very nice,
Speaker 1: very nice people. I'm not gonna say her name, but
Speaker 1: her initials are mm. She was very funny, but she's like,
Speaker 1: don't mention me on the podcast. So I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: mention you, just gonna mention your initials um. One guy
Speaker 1: came up to me and went, oh my god, you're brody.
Speaker 1: I recognized the voice. Oh my god, the voice like that,
Speaker 1: that's my voice. Yep, hees. Can I film you saying Hi,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend's a big fan. Now, what would your reaction
Speaker 1: be to that? How about I do a personal video
Speaker 1: for her right here? I would. I would actually get
Speaker 1: I would say, all right, all right, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say hello to hey, And it's usually to the
Speaker 1: effect of hey, An Marie. We're here a comic con.
Speaker 1: You know, I wish you could be here. But before
Speaker 1: I did that, I said to the guy, so your
Speaker 1: introduction to me is to come up and say, hi,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend likes you. I said, you don't hey, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, I'm a big fan. I think. I
Speaker 1: think in that case, they realized they have about twenty seconds,
Speaker 1: so they just got to get it all five. I
Speaker 1: spoke him for like five minutes. I did the video,
Speaker 1: but I was just teasing him. I was giving him grief. Anyway,
Speaker 1: he put up a picture of us on on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why his camera I don't know,
Speaker 1: because he was I don't know if he took the
Speaker 1: photo in TikTok, but it's a mirror image photo. So
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a Brooklyn Boys podcast shirt and it's back
Speaker 1: because I was promoting it's backwards, so that's no good.
Speaker 1: But I did wear my Brooklyn Boys shirt and uh
Speaker 1: people would come up and they'd say, hey, can I
Speaker 1: get an autographed card? So I was autographing my stuff
Speaker 1: and they were like, do I have to get a ticket?
Speaker 1: I have to pay for them. So I said, well,
Speaker 1: do you listen to the Brooklyn Boys podcast and they
Speaker 1: said some of them of course said no. Said well,
Speaker 1: I can give you a free autographed card, but you
Speaker 1: have to promise to me say I will listen to
Speaker 1: the Book and Boys podcast. So I had everybody saying it.
Speaker 1: So people were walking up going My friend told me,
Speaker 1: I have to say listen to the Book and Boys podcast,
Speaker 1: like yea, you have a free card. Okay. So after
Speaker 1: a while I stopped and then fran the guy from
Speaker 1: Wacky Packages. If I didn't say that would go hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: you gotta listen to the Book and Boys podcast, and
Speaker 1: they were okay, alright, I'm from Queen's I'll listen. So
Speaker 1: if if anybody's a new listener. Even though I told
Speaker 1: you guys to listen to episode zero, welcome aboard. It
Speaker 1: was nice to mean you. At Comic Con, however, there's
Speaker 1: some scams going on and some people who think they're
Speaker 1: very original. So when uh Fran from Wacky Packages and
Speaker 1: I will walk into the food court, it's a madhouse
Speaker 1: by the entrance, which is where the food court is,
Speaker 1: and that's where everyone stands and takes pictures with people
Speaker 1: that they love their costumes. And there are some people
Speaker 1: that know their costumes are awesome, so they stand in
Speaker 1: the entrance way. So people will come up for a day,
Speaker 1: maybe they'll get a guest umbrella holder. Right now, some
Speaker 1: of these people are in like Chewbacca costumes, so you
Speaker 1: can't see their face anyway. So if they're posting their
Speaker 1: pictures on social media, you're not you're not famous because
Speaker 1: nobody knows who's in the costume. So okay, so as
Speaker 1: we're going through the crowd there to talk to them,
Speaker 1: that's right. There are two regular real don't question this
Speaker 1: part of it. They are real NYPD officers. Okay, they're
Speaker 1: real police officers and they're walking through because they you
Speaker 1: need to have police there, right, and so I'm we're
Speaker 1: both going in the same direction. The two police officers
Speaker 1: and uh Fran and I are all walking in the
Speaker 1: same direction towards the food court. So because of walking
Speaker 1: next to them, I can hear that. Every ten feet
Speaker 1: there's the guy who thinks he's original and goes, well, man,
Speaker 1: those are nice costumes. You look like real cops. And
Speaker 1: the cops go hey, thanks man, and then they walk
Speaker 1: five more feet. Hey, you guys dresses cops costume. It
Speaker 1: was unbelievable, how but they're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: as far as the first guy said that. So here's
Speaker 1: the Scamboni. Hot girls in costumes okay Scarlett, which right,
Speaker 1: scantily clad like an anime. All the girls, the hot
Speaker 1: girls in the who are dressed, um, you know in costume. Okay,
Speaker 1: there there there, um oh, what's the term. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: forgetting the term when you um uh, when you go
Speaker 1: to in costume, you're when you're playing the cost cosplay
Speaker 1: costplay cosplay right there, cosplaying. And so so the hot
Speaker 1: girls walk around the entranceway, they're like not wearing much clothing,
Speaker 1: you know, like nothing on their sleeves, their asses, hanging
Speaker 1: out the door. Rockey guys will go up to them
Speaker 1: to get pictures because they like their costume. Oh man,
Speaker 1: Scarlett Witch. Can I get a compicture when you Scarlet Witch?
Speaker 1: But they're really and then like in the pictures they're
Speaker 1: looking at the girls boobs, like not at the camera,
Speaker 1: but they're using they're using comic con as a way
Speaker 1: to get pictures with the hot girls by like complimenting
Speaker 1: their constumes. What does that get them at the end
Speaker 1: of the day. I guess something to look at night
Speaker 1: when they go home to their basement apartment. I guess.
Speaker 1: But that's that's a scamboni is the old Oh my god, right,
Speaker 1: I go, so, so here's where it gets interesting. That's right,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love your costume. You're you're you're
Speaker 1: sch Magma from the Japanese animated Guarddoom. I don't even
Speaker 1: know all the costumes. I don't and I know sci fi,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't keep up. There's so many new shows
Speaker 1: and there's some costumes people wearing it look like they
Speaker 1: had pancake heads, like it was stacks of pancakes for heads.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Somebody listening is gonna know what that is.
Speaker 1: But there were there were a lot of short guys
Speaker 1: dressed as Wolverine, which was awesome because like, you know,
Speaker 1: short guys can't be Superman. You're like, why but speaking
Speaker 1: the Superman. So I parked on the east side of Manhattan.
Speaker 1: So if you don't know Manhattan, the Javits Center where
Speaker 1: the Comic Con is is on the very end the
Speaker 1: west side of Manhattan, like right near the water, and
Speaker 1: there's one train that runs there now, but for years
Speaker 1: there was no train. They made the train line longer.
Speaker 1: So I looked on the parking app and all the
Speaker 1: parking garages near the Javits Center during Comic Con, we're
Speaker 1: like fifty five to a hundred dollars, which is not
Speaker 1: normal for that area because it's a dumpy area. Well
Speaker 1: it used to be dumpy area. Now it's an awesome area.
Speaker 1: But all the garages like a hunt. They jacked up
Speaker 1: the prices. So I parked on the east side, the
Speaker 1: other side of Manhattan, by Grand Central Station where the
Speaker 1: parking garage there was twenty five dollars and then for
Speaker 1: two dollars and whatever fifty cents. I took the train
Speaker 1: across town and I got to Comic Con. So I
Speaker 1: saved like seventy five dollars because I'm smart like that.
Speaker 1: And I parked around the corner from a place called
Speaker 1: Los Tacos number one. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have very famous places, several outposts of that. Every
Speaker 1: time I walked by one, the line is out the door,
Speaker 1: out the door, so I went, I wasn't gonna go in.
Speaker 1: I had to get to comic Con. I'll get to
Speaker 1: that in a minute. When I'm walking towards Grand Central Station.
Speaker 1: Grand Central Station is like a main transit hub. Do
Speaker 1: you ever hear the expression it's as busy as Grand
Speaker 1: Central Station? In here. It's a crazy busy place where
Speaker 1: all the trains from Long Island and and uh some
Speaker 1: of them and from northern New York, Like, what is
Speaker 1: it the the North? Uh? What is it? What's the
Speaker 1: rail line? Metro Metro? No, thank you, I'm join a
Speaker 1: blank night Metro North. So everything pulls in only out
Speaker 1: of town is would probably to come there a Penn station,
Speaker 1: and so Comic Con people in costume, the cost players
Speaker 1: are coming out of Grand Central and they're walking west
Speaker 1: to the Javits Center, which is like, I don't know
Speaker 1: forty five minute walk at least because they don't know
Speaker 1: there's a train, the seven train. It goes east west right,
Speaker 1: goes directly east west straight across Manhattan. From there, they
Speaker 1: could have grabbed the seven train, which is what I did,
Speaker 1: and take the train right to Javits. So these people walked.
Speaker 1: So there's a Superman guy who wasn't wearing a cod
Speaker 1: piece right like a cup, so you could see that
Speaker 1: he wasn't Jewish. Okay, he had the full dick exposure
Speaker 1: silhouetted in his Superman tights. Now I wasn't. I wasn't gazing,
Speaker 1: but I was like, oh, Superman, Jesus Christ, your dick
Speaker 1: is it like is outlined like a silhouette. So he's
Speaker 1: walking down street to Javitt Center again like a mad Right.
Speaker 1: So later in the day, like an hour later, I
Speaker 1: gotta use the bathroom. I go in the bathroom, and
Speaker 1: the way the bathroom is designed is the you walk
Speaker 1: a little entrance, you make a left, and you could
Speaker 1: only see the sinks and the toilet stalls. It doesn't
Speaker 1: look like it's any animals. But if you've been there before,
Speaker 1: you know if you walk around the wall that you're
Speaker 1: standing next to is a room with all the urinals,
Speaker 1: but you wouldn't know if they were available because you
Speaker 1: can't see them. It's a hardy design, hardly. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: funk this. I'm not waiting on the toilet line. I
Speaker 1: walk around the wall and as I'm there, in the
Speaker 1: last urinal is fucking Superman with his dick out with
Speaker 1: his hands, I swear to you is scary. He's peeing
Speaker 1: like Superman. He's got his hands on his hips right
Speaker 1: like and and and I'm and and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not looking at his dick green glow coming from the urinal. No,
Speaker 1: he wasn't peeing into into kryptonite. No, he know he green.
Speaker 1: He doesn't shoot green out of his dick that you're
Speaker 1: thinking of Crypto, right, So he's standing there. All he
Speaker 1: needed was the fan to blow the to blow the
Speaker 1: kpe back. But he was literally standing like enough away
Speaker 1: from the thing, like he was peeing like Superman with
Speaker 1: his with his hands on his hips with fists on it. Right.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, how many times when you see this
Speaker 1: guy's dick? So I don't want to see some many
Speaker 1: more So After Comic Con, I walk outside and you
Speaker 1: know how those those people at every like, okay, if
Speaker 1: you go to a car Never in a million years
Speaker 1: thought that our conversation about comic Con would end up
Speaker 1: about being about bathrooms in them in comic Con comicon
Speaker 1: bathroom all right. So you you know, when you go
Speaker 1: to a concert, like a rock concert, and and the
Speaker 1: audience tends to be and I'm just telling them like
Speaker 1: it is, you go to like Billy Joel, or you
Speaker 1: go to like a heavy metal show, the audience is
Speaker 1: predominantly uh white, okay. And then you go outside and
Speaker 1: is the people who look clearly not like the audience,
Speaker 1: and they're selling T shirts and they're easy to spot
Speaker 1: because they don't look like the people in the concert. Right,
Speaker 1: and plus they have a stack of T shirts on
Speaker 1: their back or whatever bags, yes, right, and onto their shirts.
Speaker 1: They're harding from the corps whenever. Okay, but you can
Speaker 1: spot them because they don't look like the audience. Fine,
Speaker 1: that's not it's just the thing. It's this facts. I'm
Speaker 1: not insulting anybody. So, uh, there's guys outside comic Con
Speaker 1: who are in their forties or and and they clearly
Speaker 1: don't look like they've been in comic Con and and
Speaker 1: and they don't have any interest and they've been out
Speaker 1: there all day. I saw them when I went in
Speaker 1: and I come out and some of them are young,
Speaker 1: some of them are old, all ages, but they're all
Speaker 1: hanging out for different reasons. And there was a bunch
Speaker 1: of guys handing out c d s. They were aspiring
Speaker 1: hip hop artists, I assume, right, and they know a
Speaker 1: guy selling T shirts whatever, but the younger guys were
Speaker 1: selling We're handing out hip hop c ds. Now, normally
Speaker 1: when they do that, they say they give you the
Speaker 1: c D and they go, hey, man, give me five
Speaker 1: bucks donation right for the c D. And You're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: I want to hear the c D. So you don't
Speaker 1: really get it for free, right. I told you that story.
Speaker 1: We're back in the day when I worked worked on
Speaker 1: in radio and I said to the guy handed me
Speaker 1: hip hop c D and and he says, hey man,
Speaker 1: check out my c D. So he gave it to
Speaker 1: me and I was like, hey man, could I get
Speaker 1: a ten dollar donation right? And as he's like, how
Speaker 1: about five whatever, I s I'll tell you what I'll
Speaker 1: do one better. I will give this to my friends
Speaker 1: on the morning show a power one oh five and
Speaker 1: see if they like it. Friends with Charlemagne and they
Speaker 1: were like, no, man, I just want to five bucks.
Speaker 1: And I was like, that's a bakery decision. So these
Speaker 1: guys wanted social media followers. They wanted you to come
Speaker 1: over and follow them on Instagram so they could build
Speaker 1: up their follower base. Understood, But here's the thing. Opportunists entrepreneurs. Yes,
Speaker 1: because the laws of New York have changed recently. They
Speaker 1: were this is what they were yelling, Yo, we're looking
Speaker 1: for followers. Free weed for a follow. They had little
Speaker 1: packages of weed. I don't know how much was in them.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. What a brilliant, brilliant ploy. And they were
Speaker 1: handing at people were coming up and following them on Instagram. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: you can't sell it, well, you can't sell it, but
Speaker 1: they were given away little bags of marijuana to assume
Speaker 1: it was real. We weed for a follow How about that?
Speaker 1: That's great? How about that? How about that? I love
Speaker 1: it now? Well, a couple of days later, maybe it
Speaker 1: was a couple of days before I forget in which order.
Speaker 1: I took my daughter, I dropped her off. I didn't
Speaker 1: go to see Sabrina coppenter at Webster Hall after the concert.
Speaker 1: You know what happens. You come out and then those
Speaker 1: of those guys selling the bootleg T shirts, you know,
Speaker 1: twenty dollars inside, five dollars outside. Now it's like inside.
Speaker 1: So you know, when you wanted to buy a shirt
Speaker 1: from a guy with a trash bag full of shirts
Speaker 1: back in the day, you have to have cash, Yes,
Speaker 1: not anymore. No, the T shirts scalpers now except Venmo.
Speaker 1: That's great, and they can't get They're not gonna get
Speaker 1: tractor or persecuted for it because it's probably legal at
Speaker 1: this point. I don't know if you can't sell boots
Speaker 1: again again, whatever your hustle is like, you know, Sabrina
Speaker 1: shirts ten dollars. We except Venmo, well cash shop, cash
Speaker 1: at me right now, cash out at me right now.
Speaker 1: I'm selling bootleg shirts Venmo me this podcast. We we
Speaker 1: I mean, we are, Oh my god. Stuff two more
Speaker 1: breaks to take Jesus, Oh, I got I got stuff
Speaker 1: list as do I. But before we leave today, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you how I got stopped by Homeland Security. Of course,
Speaker 1: all right, so a couple of short things or what
Speaker 1: because I got something short, go for it? No, you
Speaker 1: go something short and not go something short. Well, mine
Speaker 1: involves Dick. You know, I want to hear about Dick first. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we just did. We just talked about supers, right,
Speaker 1: That's why I want to have a little separation. Separation.
Speaker 1: You gotta keep Dick separated. Well, all right, this one's long,
Speaker 1: so I'm talking about this little side note. This has
Speaker 1: happened to me last night. I freaked out, you know,
Speaker 1: and I mentioned it on the Elvistrand Show today. But uh,
Speaker 1: this was I was sleeping. Of course you were, you bastard.
Speaker 1: My apps are starting to fight with each other. They're
Speaker 1: getting jealous of each other. This happened to me yesterday.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's ever happened to you, but
Speaker 1: I was ordering grub Hub last night. I was sitting there,
Speaker 1: filling up the shopping cart, just doing my thing, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, a notification comes in from Uber eats.
Speaker 1: Player two has entered the game in the middle of
Speaker 1: me filling up this cart. It said, by one, get
Speaker 1: on free right now, hurry, limited time only, like literally,
Speaker 1: a notification from grub hub, and I'm sorry from a
Speaker 1: notification from uber eats comes on, but it's almost like
Speaker 1: the one app knew that I was using the other
Speaker 1: app and got jealous. That's fucked up. But you know,
Speaker 1: first forget about the fact that these phones, your your
Speaker 1: phone is talking to itself and the apps are community.
Speaker 1: But the apps are communicating in the background, and they're
Speaker 1: literally trying to outdo themselves. They're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no no, stop filling up that grubhub shopping cart.
Speaker 1: Come over here in the door dash because it was
Speaker 1: literally a notification that came into my dropdowns. It was
Speaker 1: I came up right as I was ordering this food.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, the fucking balls of the of
Speaker 1: the uber eats app to interrupt. They clearly see I'm
Speaker 1: going for Grubhub. But is it is that ever happening
Speaker 1: where two apps compete, because because you know, I've also
Speaker 1: seen this with my best Buy app, it just starts
Speaker 1: sucking firing off like deals in the middle of nowhere
Speaker 1: when I'm buying something else on Amazon something. Do you
Speaker 1: have a set to give you push notifications? Well you
Speaker 1: know they have, yes, But the thing is, how did
Speaker 1: the hell does it know? That means it's not minding
Speaker 1: its own business. That means it's not using its own
Speaker 1: like I'll open it, you know, when I'll call on
Speaker 1: you when I feel like it. They're Ober Eats app
Speaker 1: when I but you're the app was closed. That means
Speaker 1: something's fucked up going on somewhere in the background on
Speaker 1: my phone. Information is being exchanged. Have you ever been
Speaker 1: watching and hubb and red Tube opens up by itself? No,
Speaker 1: I used that. It was a serious question. Yeah, serious
Speaker 1: on Android, and I don't know. I'm not I'm saying
Speaker 1: that it's better. I'm just saying on Android, you can
Speaker 1: go to each individual app and turn off usage in
Speaker 1: the background, like background usage. Could you do that on
Speaker 1: your iPhone? Like make sure they don't want in the background. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe it's a setting, but you may Yeah, you
Speaker 1: may have it. You may have ad It's like Instagram
Speaker 1: when you're when you're on your you're on your on
Speaker 1: your computer searching for backpacks and you go on your
Speaker 1: phone and all of a sudden, Instagram you're showing you
Speaker 1: backpack ads. You're like, what, It just feels dirty. It
Speaker 1: feels like like I don't like I don't like Uber eats,
Speaker 1: knowing that I'm filling up my Grubhub shopping cart. You
Speaker 1: mind your own fucking business. But anyway, it definitely knew
Speaker 1: because it was trying to lure me away. Well with
Speaker 1: Uber Eats a better deal, did it win you over? No? No,
Speaker 1: I was already It was always already um balls deep
Speaker 1: in my h my grub hub. So anyway, all right,
Speaker 1: well I pulled over a Wonder truck. I talked to
Speaker 1: you about Wonder trucks on the show here right, won
Speaker 1: d Bread, No Wonder trucks. There's that food trucks. Oh
Speaker 1: oh yeah, the Wonder trucks. Yes, we we spoke about it.
Speaker 1: Your favorite restaurants basically come to you in the form
Speaker 1: of a food truck and they come up with the
Speaker 1: food ingredients right right in front of your house. So
Speaker 1: so they just added I I don't know if he
Speaker 1: was promoting it on on the Big Show, but they
Speaker 1: just added Bobby Flay, so you can get food from
Speaker 1: Bobby Flay's want of Bobby Flay's steakhouses and all his food.
Speaker 1: And I saw. I texted him and I'm like, hey, Bobby,
Speaker 1: I just got the new Wonder brochure at my house.
Speaker 1: They added you. I'm sure you know that, but I'm
Speaker 1: very excited, he wrote, So he so I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had to work out that deal. You don't think
Speaker 1: they just did that right, because I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I knew, you knew. I just want to let you
Speaker 1: know I know, and I'm gonna order your food. I said, hey, listen, Bobby,
Speaker 1: wanta ask you a question, but I'm not asking you
Speaker 1: for a reservation. He wrote back, I know you're not scary.
Speaker 1: He knows me all too well. By the way, I
Speaker 1: have his um chocolate Brios banana bread in my in
Speaker 1: my apartment here with the coconut cream that went along
Speaker 1: with it. He brought a whole trade of it in yesterday,
Speaker 1: made it himself, okay, and then uh it didn't you
Speaker 1: know it? It went but it was still over half
Speaker 1: a tray left. So I said, I'm playing the part
Speaker 1: of broody today and I'm gonna take this home. So
Speaker 1: it's about I'm not there to do it, so I'm
Speaker 1: The other thing is I talked to Bobby Flay about
Speaker 1: my food network idea for a TV show, and I said, hey, Bobby,
Speaker 1: what's what's involved? What I do? He says, Oh, listen,
Speaker 1: his food network was brought out by another company, and
Speaker 1: it's a little more difficult and Uh, it's just public knowledge.
Speaker 1: You're allowed to say this. No, No, it's they were
Speaker 1: brought by another company. I was an okay company, He goes,
Speaker 1: But it's it's a lot of a lot more like
Speaker 1: stream lot. It's not. It's very like by the book,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a couple of years process to pitch
Speaker 1: TV show and you gotta have a production company. And
Speaker 1: everything was like wow Wow, So I gotta I gotta
Speaker 1: bump into a food network executive at a bar and
Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, I got this idea, like hit
Speaker 1: him up, get him dunk, get him, get him drunk.
Speaker 1: And I'm John, all right, do you want to hear? So?
Speaker 1: I need to know how you how you would relate
Speaker 1: to this. So I'm on TikTok and is this this
Speaker 1: funny account I follow? And it's a it's a girl
Speaker 1: in her twenties maybe I'm gonna say twenties. And she
Speaker 1: put up a video and she wrote on the screen
Speaker 1: on the on the video, I'm about two in quotes,
Speaker 1: can you teach me about baseball? Quote my way into
Speaker 1: some dick. So, in other words, she's gonna see she's
Speaker 1: gonna oh, can you teach me about baseball? Is as
Speaker 1: her way of getting some dick tonight. It's gonna standing
Speaker 1: appointment like she's making. In other words, I'm gonna pretend
Speaker 1: I care about baseball to get some guy to like
Speaker 1: me so he'll suck me tonight. So basically what sometimes
Speaker 1: some women do on Sundays where they go out to
Speaker 1: football Sundays. Yea, there had no competition for football. Another
Speaker 1: one of the words, I'm gonna go ask some questions
Speaker 1: about foot all my way into getting some dick tonight.
Speaker 1: I love that. I mean, it's it's it's it's a
Speaker 1: cool concept. But I really think that if if someone's
Speaker 1: in in the mode of I'm just using you guys,
Speaker 1: that are as an example, if guys are in the
Speaker 1: mode of their watching their sports, I feel like they're like,
Speaker 1: you can walk across this and it won't matter. So
Speaker 1: I don't know about that. My point is I think
Speaker 1: she was either going to go to a ball Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it's a value. It's a valiant effort on
Speaker 1: her part, right, So because that's a turn on for guys.
Speaker 1: Oh you want me to tell you about now listen. Personally,
Speaker 1: I would rather be with a woman who knows about sports,
Speaker 1: then I have to teach her. That's a woman. I
Speaker 1: love sports, except my girlfriend. Everyone loves I mean, you
Speaker 1: go to these bars, you go to any forget. Look
Speaker 1: at some of these cities where college game day is
Speaker 1: a huge thing and everyone goes to the games or
Speaker 1: watches and tailgates and stuff, and they go to these bars.
Speaker 1: They are into the football, They're into these games. So okay,
Speaker 1: So I would like all women or not someone I would.
Speaker 1: I didn't say all women. I said this girl specifically,
Speaker 1: not a fan. I'm about to quote, can you teach
Speaker 1: me about based on my way into some dick? She's
Speaker 1: a fake fan, right, Okay, she's doing what you gotta do.
Speaker 1: So I've got a couple of questions I have now
Speaker 1: number one slices. Would this work on you? Or have
Speaker 1: you done this to a to another person, regardless of
Speaker 1: whether it's your female or male. Have you showed interest
Speaker 1: in something like I'm gonna Broadway show my way into
Speaker 1: some vagina tonight, you know what I mean? Like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna mu I'm gonna talk about I'm gonna ask about
Speaker 1: musicals or what are you gonna do? What have you done?
Speaker 1: Which you completely faked because you knew it would get
Speaker 1: you some sex. My next question is for Scary Jones,
Speaker 1: So I'd like you to tweet us or by the way,
Speaker 1: Scary tell people how they can talk to us. Don't
Speaker 1: even tweet us at the tweet thing. I want you
Speaker 1: to leave us voicemails because we haven't done talk back
Speaker 1: radio app on the Brooklyn Boys podcast and leave us
Speaker 1: voicemails about how you are on the micros phone. Hold
Speaker 1: it down and talk back to us, and we tell
Speaker 1: us who you are away from, and tell us what
Speaker 1: didn't you come up with? What didn't you bullshit your
Speaker 1: way into some some sex? Right? We didn't checked it
Speaker 1: in a while, we'll check and as it as it
Speaker 1: worked on you, like, oh, this girl came up with
Speaker 1: this guy came up to me whatever, and they pretended
Speaker 1: and I fell for it and I was into it. Now,
Speaker 1: now that we've established that, Scary, what would a girl
Speaker 1: have to pretend to be interested in for you to
Speaker 1: not forget about your girlfriend? You said you pretend you single.
Speaker 1: What would a girl have to pretend to be into
Speaker 1: for you to be like? Yeah, yeah, that's a real
Speaker 1: tough one, man, It really is, because because I mean
Speaker 1: the answer is food, great restaurants, you know, and and
Speaker 1: that's what I got right now, So I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's uh, it's so so I'm come about to
Speaker 1: somebody bunch my way into some scary dick. I don't
Speaker 1: have definitive I don't have definitive things in my life,
Speaker 1: like golf, you know, like some people are golfers, right,
Speaker 1: but you're a radio You're a radio dorc. What if
Speaker 1: some girls like, oh, tell me about radio. I mean,
Speaker 1: you've used that for sex before, so let's not use
Speaker 1: that an example. Stuff out you back in the day.
Speaker 1: Come on, DJ you you hooked up because you in
Speaker 1: radio because I was. But right, so if a girl
Speaker 1: came up to you and you're like, tell me about
Speaker 1: your radio, tell me about your job. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: about radio. Yeah, and she didn't give a shit about radio.
Speaker 1: But you're like, okay, you'd be into that. So is
Speaker 1: there anything else that you would like? You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're asking. I hate to not play along, but if
Speaker 1: I'm being completely honest, I don't have it. There's nothing
Speaker 1: for me. I don't like, you know, I don't have
Speaker 1: hobbies like that. If I don't, I don't like. But
Speaker 1: there's nothing like oh, man, if a girl is into that,
Speaker 1: I'd be so into her. Not I'm not a gamer,
Speaker 1: so I don't like video games much. I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm okay with video games. I think they're cool, but
Speaker 1: I'm not. It's not like, yeah, man, you see Fortnite,
Speaker 1: you you're playing that or you know you want to that?
Speaker 1: To me? Is you know? No, there's nothing specific, nothing, no, no,
Speaker 1: what about you? But food? Well? I got too many
Speaker 1: things for me. I have too many things. Yeah, baby,
Speaker 1: baseball would be comedy, it would be it would be
Speaker 1: late night talk shows, it would be uh yeah. Maybe.
Speaker 1: My favorite musical groups are like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: love Joe Sato. You do. Yeah, music would be if
Speaker 1: through music? Yeah that yeah, absolutely. Beastie boys maybe you know,
Speaker 1: I mean old school. I mean, I know you keep talking.
Speaker 1: Let's say girl comes up to you at a a Halloween
Speaker 1: party and she's like your beauty and the beastie boy
Speaker 1: I totally get it, and you're like, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you'd be all of it. I don't know, man, I
Speaker 1: think I think this is a stretch. Well, let me
Speaker 1: ask you a question. Have you ever pretended to be
Speaker 1: into something to get some v No? No, you've never
Speaker 1: liked been with a girl. And you're like, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: we'll be hold on a second. You want to talk
Speaker 1: about about my profile on America. You want to go
Speaker 1: back to America online? You know, like long walks on
Speaker 1: the beach and museums. I love museums and cafes, and
Speaker 1: I like I like to work out. Yeah, that's all lies.
Speaker 1: They're all big lies. Okay, what would you have done?
Speaker 1: Would you have done that? Was? You know, I wish
Speaker 1: I had a screenshot of my my old America online?
Speaker 1: Uh okay, what would you have done? If some girl
Speaker 1: hits you up because of the museum thing and she's like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'd like to meet you, let's go,
Speaker 1: let's go to MoMA. It happened. So what did you do?
Speaker 1: What did you do on a date? And she was,
Speaker 1: let's go to the Cloisters And it was a Cloisters
Speaker 1: is one of those huge and I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's I think it's up to but anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: we went and I pretended to be into it. And
Speaker 1: then you know, did your museum your way into some
Speaker 1: v No, no, never led to that. I was I
Speaker 1: was good enough. Yeah, Well because as I got more,
Speaker 1: became more mature, and I realized, just be yourself, man,
Speaker 1: just be you. And that's who I am. But I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I was a partistic guy who uses the fake radio name.
Speaker 1: It was a pretender back then. My real last name
Speaker 1: is Scary. Come on, I know, I know, I know here,
Speaker 1: but I I was a pretender back then in the
Speaker 1: A O. L days in the nineties and didn't know
Speaker 1: what was happening, you know too much, didn't know much
Speaker 1: about life. And I'm like, fucking I'm gonna just gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put this out there because this is what
Speaker 1: they want to hear. These are the buzzwords right now
Speaker 1: at the moment. Are cafes are you know, are working
Speaker 1: out whatever it was and and uh, you know it
Speaker 1: gets you in the front door, but it doesn't you
Speaker 1: don't close the conversation. You know, it gets you a
Speaker 1: conversation started, right, but you don't necessarily finish, so you
Speaker 1: but you would totally trying to museum your way into
Speaker 1: some some some p back in the day. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, we gotta take all right past Scary.
Speaker 1: You just keep going on and on and on and on.
Speaker 1: This Okay, so I will I'll wait for god you go. No,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding we uh no, no, we're just behind it,
Speaker 1: behind it right now. But that's okay. Uh So we'll
Speaker 1: probably have a lot of voice talkbacks we haven't played.
Speaker 1: We're not going to play him this week, no, because
Speaker 1: they're not ready. Yeah, but next week we should have
Speaker 1: some ready. We're going we'll definitely play the ones that
Speaker 1: we just talked about and get back to some good
Speaker 1: old fashion email. You can always email us at the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. I feel like
Speaker 1: email is a lost art. Email is what what snail
Speaker 1: mail was fifteen years ago. I feel like we're experiencing
Speaker 1: that now. We're in a drought. I'm trying to take
Speaker 1: a look at the inbox. Is there even anything worth?
Speaker 1: I won't even play the jingle because there's not much. Okay, so,
Speaker 1: uh okay, here we go. I got one uh not
Speaker 1: from Wow September. This thing is not playing the jingle?
Speaker 1: Do you have the jingle? Did you bring the jingle? Hang?
Speaker 1: I got the jingle for the you want to for
Speaker 1: one email? You want to play the jingle? Okay, well,
Speaker 1: only only because I like it's time. Welcome you've got mail.
Speaker 1: See that's why I wanted you to play it. That's
Speaker 1: our second America online reference this episode. Okay, well you
Speaker 1: can email. Has had the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Brody, scary, Scary Brodie. This is my first
Speaker 1: time ever contacting y'all. But I just had a scam.
Speaker 1: Bony happened to me. Oh wait, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1: Now I gotta get the Scamboni jingle because they had
Speaker 1: a Scamboni jingle. Now I gotta You can't play two
Speaker 1: things at once, and you better get all the listen
Speaker 1: in order jingles home before you guys moved studios. Here's
Speaker 1: the Scamboni. It's a double no no. So anyway, I'm
Speaker 1: from the South. I'm from South Georgia and sharpened knives
Speaker 1: and saws. Oh I sharpened knives and saws for paper mills.
Speaker 1: And since I have to make seventeen hour deliveries every Friday,
Speaker 1: I was at boost Sees bu Ce Apostrophys filling up
Speaker 1: my truck as I'm walking in and probably probably yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure I hate Italian word. As as I'm as
Speaker 1: I'm walking in, a vehicle approaches me with four guys.
Speaker 1: Maybe in their early twenties and what seemed to be
Speaker 1: of uh not ethnic and ethnic descent. They said, sir,
Speaker 1: we noticed you had a beard, so you must be honorable,
Speaker 1: must be an honorable man like us. We need help
Speaker 1: the head beards. We need help getting home. Here take
Speaker 1: our gold. Well, by the way, is this like another
Speaker 1: dimension another? Oh? Here, take our gold. They were all
Speaker 1: wearing golden necklaces and rings and tried giving them to
Speaker 1: me in exchange for cash. I told him I didn't
Speaker 1: have any cash, and then they said, okay, they have
Speaker 1: a t M machine inside now of course as a slice.
Speaker 1: I had to correct them and told them it's just
Speaker 1: a t M. They looked at me all days and confused.
Speaker 1: I told them, listen, I know y'all, fox are trying
Speaker 1: to scam me, to do me a favor and make
Speaker 1: like a tree and get the funk out of here.
Speaker 1: Hashtag scamboni, hashtag fuck your random random car of Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness, that's a slur. Hashtag sluss for life anyway,
Speaker 1: So there you have it. H people with beards. Men
Speaker 1: with beards came in and tried to get cash for gold.
Speaker 1: I guess, um at this, Okay, this is what goes
Speaker 1: on in South Georgia. It sounds like a scamboni because
Speaker 1: let's let's just take a step back for a second.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming he's implying that they're ethnic, that either they're
Speaker 1: religious Jews, which it doesn't sound like they are, or
Speaker 1: maybe the Middle don't the reason I'm saying, maybe the
Speaker 1: Middle Easterners. What if maybe that they're Saudi princesses, princess
Speaker 1: what what if they're like they're loaded with gold. That's
Speaker 1: exactly where this person was. That's where Cameron was going
Speaker 1: with this. His name is Cameron, Thank you, Cameron. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what that's they were. They were leaning into. They
Speaker 1: were leaning into what they looked like, right, we have gold.
Speaker 1: Who has gold? Okay, whatever? And if it's real gold,
Speaker 1: they could be like they could be, they could have been.
Speaker 1: They could be Saudi princesses, prince princess. We don't know
Speaker 1: if they were not. But I mean, talk about an
Speaker 1: odd ball happening, right, I mean, that is weird. In
Speaker 1: the middle of South Georgia. You just walk into a
Speaker 1: knife sharp sharpening place whatever, and this is I don't
Speaker 1: know anyway, I wouldn't. I'll say what I wouldn't try
Speaker 1: to Scamboni. A guy who shopping knives were living, that's
Speaker 1: for sure, right, So that's a guy you don't want
Speaker 1: to mess with, Cameron, So all right, Scamboni. Um, we
Speaker 1: were talking a little while ago about is another email?
Speaker 1: That's it. That's the only one. That's what my point was.
Speaker 1: We need more because that was the only email. Okay,
Speaker 1: we were talking earlier about like just a little while ago,
Speaker 1: about using your fake name and pretending on dates. Right. So, uh,
Speaker 1: I told you my wife and I went out to
Speaker 1: dinner on an alphabet city last week. Right. Um, we
Speaker 1: went to a rest an area that I told you
Speaker 1: it was a little shady. Yes, we had a great meal. Right.
Speaker 1: So it was like, what ever say like fish areas
Speaker 1: or whatever whatever I say. Yep, So there's apparently there's
Speaker 1: a location on the west side. We went to the
Speaker 1: east side. There's a location on the west side that's
Speaker 1: boogie and you can't get a table. I love it.
Speaker 1: So the place on the east side is the same food,
Speaker 1: but because it's not in the best area, you can
Speaker 1: get a table there. So I wanted my wife said
Speaker 1: I should tell Scary to go to the one on
Speaker 1: the west side because you can't get a table. He'll
Speaker 1: love that. That being said. When we were walking we
Speaker 1: were there was a bar that had like a little
Speaker 1: deck out front, d e c K deck out front
Speaker 1: with Look, there's some tables and chairs, that's right. So
Speaker 1: there was a girl, a woman sitting at a table
Speaker 1: and a guy was I don't know, he was on
Speaker 1: the sidewalk, maybe at the foot of this little deck area,
Speaker 1: and he says, he's just a load of harsh is
Speaker 1: high and he says. She says something like, oh, are
Speaker 1: you coming in and have a drink, And he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what I want to
Speaker 1: do with something like that. So he says, my name,
Speaker 1: my name's Chris. Nice to meet you. And she says, oh,
Speaker 1: my name is Eleana, I mean Elena. No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: She goes, my name is Elena, I mean Eleanor. So
Speaker 1: she gave him a fake name, obviously, So how do
Speaker 1: you pronounce your own name right? She was, my name's uh, Elena,
Speaker 1: I mean Eleanor. But that's what it was, Elena and Eleanor. So,
Speaker 1: first of all, once you correct yourself, how do you
Speaker 1: correct yourself on your own name? She wasn't drunk, right,
Speaker 1: It wasn't It wasn't like she she didn't have an accent.
Speaker 1: Were like, oh, in America, my name is pronounced this way,
Speaker 1: and she said it wrong. She said, my name is Elena,
Speaker 1: I mean Eleanor. So is her real name Elena? And
Speaker 1: she gives her fake name eleanor Or. It's her fake
Speaker 1: name Elena that she's been given out all night and
Speaker 1: now she's giving her real name of this guy because
Speaker 1: he's attractive, and she saying, no, my real name is Eleanor.
Speaker 1: What's going on there? What do you think is going on?
Speaker 1: Who does that? Why? I think that she wanted to
Speaker 1: be true in that moment, but she probably was not
Speaker 1: truthful prior to that. That's my guess. My best guy,
Speaker 1: I mean, so one of them is a lie? So
Speaker 1: was she? Was she? In other words, was she lying
Speaker 1: all night and decided to stop lying because the guy
Speaker 1: was good looking? Like? What what does she forget? She
Speaker 1: just like, did she trying to trick the guy? It
Speaker 1: seems weird? You think, you know, it's pretty bizarre. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to
Speaker 1: make of that. I can't I can't make heads or
Speaker 1: tales of it. Have you ever lied about your name? Never?
Speaker 1: I've thought about that. I've thought about um because I
Speaker 1: did lie about my name once, Because for years I
Speaker 1: would think about working in radio or in real life
Speaker 1: if somebody didn't know, like wanted to beat me up
Speaker 1: or like follow me or show up somewhere and like, hey,
Speaker 1: are you David Brody. A lot of times I go
Speaker 1: huh no, well no, Like I say no because I
Speaker 1: don't know if I get someone like a bill collector
Speaker 1: or someone who was hired to kill me. Right, So
Speaker 1: I was like, if someone asks if I am him,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to answer that. So I always
Speaker 1: have a fake name ready and a fake in my head,
Speaker 1: like a fake last name you have? You have a
Speaker 1: full fake identity. How deep does that go? So you
Speaker 1: have a name and age and occupation. Well, I have
Speaker 1: a first and last name from two different people I know,
Speaker 1: so I won't forget their names. And I and my
Speaker 1: kids names are different because they're they're kids of my friends, right,
Speaker 1: and I know how old they are. And then I
Speaker 1: have made up birthdays like I'm ready to go, but
Speaker 1: do you have made up occupation? And yeah, and I
Speaker 1: made up address yeah, wow, all ready to go like premeditated, yes,
Speaker 1: because I don't have that. So if I was ever
Speaker 1: to want to lie on the spot, it would be
Speaker 1: pretty difficult because I don't have anything like at the ready.
Speaker 1: I mean, I would see my name May Jones. Motherfucker,
Speaker 1: I'm Peter. You're Peter. I could say Peter that that's
Speaker 1: what came to my mind. And you have a last name.
Speaker 1: You have to have a last name, say, you have
Speaker 1: to have to spell it. You have to spell it
Speaker 1: quickly like peterel right, Peter scoot s c U n
Speaker 1: g I l l I right. And and I just
Speaker 1: hope he is he's not familiar with the food. I'm
Speaker 1: eleanor I mean Elena. I mean you think about it
Speaker 1: like like if someone does, like spell your last name
Speaker 1: like b R O D why, But if you say
Speaker 1: your last name is like let's say Goldstein, you'd have
Speaker 1: to go G O L D S T. You wouldn't
Speaker 1: say it in the right way. You have to you
Speaker 1: have to be prepared for that could happen. You never.
Speaker 1: So now, my uh, that's what I have to do.
Speaker 1: I have to create I have to create a fake
Speaker 1: profile or something something. I have to write it down
Speaker 1: and then memorize it. But but it's got to go
Speaker 1: deeper than just name, address and and your occupation. Well,
Speaker 1: I would say maybe maybe maybe get fake I d
Speaker 1: to match the fake fake. Yeah, well, why we are
Speaker 1: we on the lamb here? What's going on? No? I
Speaker 1: just I always pictured walking into the radio station at like,
Speaker 1: you know, five in the morning and somebody like I
Speaker 1: was mad about a phone tap I did or something
Speaker 1: I said on the air. You know, I've said some
Speaker 1: things that maybe could piss somebody off, and like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're that brody motherfucker. I think we all have that.
Speaker 1: I think yeah, but if like no, oh, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: not brody, then who are you? I'll go, Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah. I work on the
Speaker 1: fourth like the other companies in our building. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I work at such and such company on the on
Speaker 1: the whatever floor. I had to have a story. They're like, okay,
Speaker 1: all right there, buggsy yeah, buggsy, No, I'm not bugsy. Um,
Speaker 1: speaking of fake stories, take a break. I can't tell
Speaker 1: you about how I got stopped by Homeland Security and
Speaker 1: I got something quick for you too. Um, where I
Speaker 1: want to go here. Um, all right, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: throw this out there. Yeah, all right, maybe we should
Speaker 1: save this for next week. This may this may take
Speaker 1: a while. I discovered something and I don't know if
Speaker 1: and I don't know if the person uh knows that
Speaker 1: there there significant other is on this app. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was brought to my attention by a friend of mine.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm being so covert here because I
Speaker 1: don't want to give this away and maybe who knows,
Speaker 1: but let me let me throw this out there. Bertie.
Speaker 1: You uh, you do for a living. You have a
Speaker 1: profession where you need this, you need you provide a
Speaker 1: service for people, okay, and they make appointments with you,
Speaker 1: okay whatever that don't guess all right, whatever that services?
Speaker 1: So you would list yourself, you would list yourself on
Speaker 1: websites to find people for that service, right whatever that
Speaker 1: whatever that service specialized service is, okay you would right, okay,
Speaker 1: So you would you would There's a lot of different
Speaker 1: types of like indeed, dot com and this is not
Speaker 1: a commercial and all these places you know, right or whatever,
Speaker 1: these person to person apps that are out there. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you something. Would you put yourself on bumble
Speaker 1: if you were trying to find it people to pay
Speaker 1: for you for your services, the legitimate services. Because there's
Speaker 1: a there's a section of bumble called bumble biz. It's
Speaker 1: for business nother the bumble, bumble friend and bumble. But
Speaker 1: when you think of bumble, you think of hook ups.
Speaker 1: That's what I think of. I mean, it's the first
Speaker 1: in mind. So apparently there's this whole other section of
Speaker 1: bumble that I was told about by this person that
Speaker 1: you can actually do put your you list your business
Speaker 1: on there so you can attract people sure for your
Speaker 1: for your professional business of the service that you're offering. God, okay,
Speaker 1: you follow so far alright without giving anything away. But
Speaker 1: is there reason to believe that bumble biz is anything
Speaker 1: more than people on their shopping for you know, a
Speaker 1: match for that biz or when you think of bumble,
Speaker 1: because it's under the umbrella of bumble, it's got the image,
Speaker 1: it's got the branding of what bumble is. It's are
Speaker 1: you trying to really hook up with somebody in disguise?
Speaker 1: Because I don't know because the person with the business
Speaker 1: that's listed is is is uh is part of a couple.
Speaker 1: And I'm not even giving away gender here, he'd like
Speaker 1: to see what I did there. Okay, so let me see.
Speaker 1: Let me see I'm clarified because you're all over the map. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not all over the map. I'm just I just
Speaker 1: want being very careful of my words. That's all. Okay.
Speaker 1: So let's say and we'll leave by that we should
Speaker 1: revisit this next week because I'm gonna try and find
Speaker 1: out because if the person in the other the other
Speaker 1: person the couple is aware, then we should talk to
Speaker 1: that the person or both people and say, but wait
Speaker 1: a minute, how can you ask the other person if
Speaker 1: I do some homework? Shut up? All right? Next? All right,
Speaker 1: so so so continue so so again continue Okay, so
Speaker 1: it sounds like it's possible. We'll say this it's We'll
Speaker 1: say it's a it's a woman. We'll say there's a
Speaker 1: woman on bumble biz who is available to to looking
Speaker 1: for for c p A. Let's just say they're an accountant.
Speaker 1: Would you list if you were really just looking for
Speaker 1: uh people to do their taxes like a c p A?
Speaker 1: Would you would bumble biz be the place that you
Speaker 1: would meet them? And what kind of people are shopping
Speaker 1: on bumble biz for? Are they really like, is a
Speaker 1: tax person wants looking for a cp A going to
Speaker 1: Bumble biz trying to make that match. I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe not. Maybe if you were a specialized thing, like
Speaker 1: let's say you were a computer tech that went door
Speaker 1: to door and come to your house and fix your computer,
Speaker 1: or a mechanic in the area, because there's guys who
Speaker 1: do that on Facebook. They're like, Hey, I'm a mechanic,
Speaker 1: I'm out of work. I'll come to your house fix
Speaker 1: your car. But if you're saying this was okay, is
Speaker 1: it possible scary? This job is a little not the
Speaker 1: most straight ahead job. No no, no, no, no no no,
Speaker 1: it's nothing about it's nothing, no dominators, no no. If
Speaker 1: this is not like escort situations, no no, no, this
Speaker 1: is this is legitimate. This person is a legitimate has
Speaker 1: a legitimate business practice. Then why would the spouse care thing?
Speaker 1: Because I think that of all places to list, of
Speaker 1: all places to list said business, why wouldn't you go
Speaker 1: to Bumble for it? Why would Bumble be the place
Speaker 1: to go the bumble? Yeah? Well, maybe head out of
Speaker 1: my ask because I can't think of Bumble beyond a
Speaker 1: hook up app. But I think of a hook up.
Speaker 1: So I think of people looking to hook up and
Speaker 1: then hook ups on the other side of it, so
Speaker 1: I think of people shopping but they happen to be
Speaker 1: on bumble and like, oh this biz category. Let me see,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll meet a guy or a girl on the
Speaker 1: biz and then they get to you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: like what kind of customer does that attract? And I
Speaker 1: don't know. So that's that's really what I just wanted
Speaker 1: to Maybe maybe that maybe the person is posting everywhere
Speaker 1: because they're they're really in need of people, of clients,
Speaker 1: so they post everywhere. And maybe they have a friend
Speaker 1: who's also an accountant, right, And their friends said, it's
Speaker 1: the strangest thing. I was on bumble I tried out
Speaker 1: the BIS thing. I got an AD pop up on
Speaker 1: my friend and and it worked for me. My friend
Speaker 1: my friend sent me the screenshot. I'm like, yep, that's
Speaker 1: that person. Oh look at that. Oh there's their business okay.
Speaker 1: And and this person said to me, why would so
Speaker 1: and so list their business of all places on bumble
Speaker 1: biz when there's other places that you can get clients.
Speaker 1: So and that's it. So is that what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is is that really the most appropriate place if you're
Speaker 1: may be bumble biz. Maybe bumble biz is a lot
Speaker 1: less expensive than indeed and all those others. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We could come back to this. I
Speaker 1: just I'm curious. I don't think. Actually, I know they
Speaker 1: say when they smoke this fire, but in this case,
Speaker 1: I know that I know these two people, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything there. But but I find
Speaker 1: it fascinating that they chose bumble biz as the place
Speaker 1: to list their biz. All right, back to your part
Speaker 1: and then well here's what I is. All right, I
Speaker 1: don't understand if it was, if it was a normal business,
Speaker 1: why the spouse would a normal business? No, I think
Speaker 1: it's not. I think it's much funnier if it's not.
Speaker 1: I think that's the problem. I think you're you're henging
Speaker 1: it's got to be an. I can't give away with
Speaker 1: the businesses because it's not. It's not a normal business.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not if it was an accountan, why
Speaker 1: would it Why would the spouse care? So it's a
Speaker 1: dominatrix or it's not offering that they're not offering any
Speaker 1: of that. They're not offering those services, then why would
Speaker 1: a spouse care. The spouse would care because because it's
Speaker 1: the mere existence of it is on bumble biz and
Speaker 1: not on Indeed, that's what I'm saying, Like, you're on
Speaker 1: bum You're in the bumble world. You need them, you
Speaker 1: need the bumble app to do it. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just feel like that was my initial thought, and
Speaker 1: the person who brought it to my attention it was
Speaker 1: their thought as well. But well, because this person is
Speaker 1: single and looking for well, looking for a partner. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: well we okay, you want you wanna do something short? Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I know, I gotta tell you. I got to talk
Speaker 1: about why I got stopped by Homeland Security. Oh god, well,
Speaker 1: let's go for it, all right. So I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you what happened at Customs later next week, because it's
Speaker 1: the leading already is later next week, all right. So
Speaker 1: we came back from Amsterdam, my wife and I got
Speaker 1: off the plane, we went through them. Something happened to Customs,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, nothing bad. It's a funny story, but I'll
Speaker 1: tell you that afterwards. So my wife had applied for
Speaker 1: global entry. Now global entry, you have global entry yes.
Speaker 1: Now Global Entry gets you a card that means you
Speaker 1: no longer have to go through security, you know, if
Speaker 1: the shoes off, you just show the card and it's
Speaker 1: like I'm verified. It's like the blue checkmark, like I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm not a criminal. I'm good. So I had applied
Speaker 1: for Global Entry on the website and it says once
Speaker 1: you're approved, they make you make an appointment and you
Speaker 1: go to a local place, uh, like like a post
Speaker 1: office or some kind of place, and they do your interview.
Speaker 1: So I had not yet received my confirmation email because
Speaker 1: I applied like three a month before we went to
Speaker 1: Amsterdam on the cruise. Right, Okay, my wife had applied
Speaker 1: two months earlier. She got the email saying you can
Speaker 1: do it at a local place or you can do
Speaker 1: it at the airport. So my wife says, well, we
Speaker 1: go through customs, I'll do my interview. You can hang
Speaker 1: out for tenants. It's a tenant interview and uh and
Speaker 1: that'll be it. It's okay, so you'll go, no problem. So, uh,
Speaker 1: we flew back Scary on Monday, Labor Day, right, so
Speaker 1: it's a holiday, I think, right, right, Okay, So we
Speaker 1: walk through customs and we go to this. We go
Speaker 1: down the hall and there's this area for Global Entry
Speaker 1: and this people lined up. There's maybe five people online.
Speaker 1: We get online and this Homeland security guy who's working
Speaker 1: with Global Entry comes over. He's in the unit in
Speaker 1: a police uniform type thing, and he says, Hi, my
Speaker 1: name is uh whatever his name is, and he says, listen,
Speaker 1: are you all here for Global Entry interviews? And I said, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I think I'm waiting to hear back and
Speaker 1: I haven't got an email yet. Just my wife is
Speaker 1: gonna go through. He says, I let me tell you
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.
Speaker 1: And one of the questions is gonna be have you
Speaker 1: have have been arrested for a crime. Don't lie to me,
Speaker 1: don't pretend. He says, I can find out. I have
Speaker 1: all the research at my fingertips if you were arrested,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find out about it. And that's gonna be
Speaker 1: a problem for you. You You want to get Global Entry,
Speaker 1: you need to be open and honest with me. If
Speaker 1: you've been arrested, you're not getting Global Entry. Don't waste
Speaker 1: my time. I'm telling you now don't play stupid, don't
Speaker 1: play ignorant. He goes on and on and on. He goes,
Speaker 1: we got people here at the airport that can take
Speaker 1: care of this. You don't want to mess with us.
Speaker 1: Don't you come to me if you're gonna be a lawyer,
Speaker 1: go leave now. So I'm like, what funk? I wonder
Speaker 1: if there's people that must like lie and try to
Speaker 1: get over. I'm like, So the first couple of people
Speaker 1: go and they walk up to this he gets in
Speaker 1: like a plexiglass booth and uh he you have to
Speaker 1: like fingerprint yourself on a machine, and they do it.
Speaker 1: I can take your photograph and they ask you a
Speaker 1: bunch of questions. So we're waiting and my wife says,
Speaker 1: check your email again, because really I haven't checked my
Speaker 1: email because in Europe we gotta pay for that a
Speaker 1: roaming whatever. So I checked my email and lo and behold.
Speaker 1: On Friday and afternoon I got the email back from
Speaker 1: Global Entry that said you can go do your interview. Fantastic.
Speaker 1: So my wife and I go up together and I said,
Speaker 1: by the way, so far this is this is my
Speaker 1: exact experience as well, So so this is what you're
Speaker 1: saying is nothing out of the ordinary. They do. They
Speaker 1: do want all the liars to just go away, because
Speaker 1: they will they have access to your records. Can't You
Speaker 1: can't funk with these people, so fun with them. No,
Speaker 1: you just tell me. So we go up and my
Speaker 1: wife says, I'm ready to do it. He says, okay,
Speaker 1: his uh, sir, can you wait off to the side,
Speaker 1: because I said, Sarah, actually I just got the letter.
Speaker 1: I showed him the letter. I can I can do.
Speaker 1: My interview goes, okay, great, this is your wife will
Speaker 1: go first because she was ready first. So she answers
Speaker 1: all the questions, you get anything, blah blah blah, and
Speaker 1: she passes, of course, because we're not bad people. And
Speaker 1: she goes through, and she stands there with me because
Speaker 1: she's my wife. Would together, and he says, I give
Speaker 1: me your information. I give me my driver's license, my passport.
Speaker 1: I tell him I am and he's you know, he's
Speaker 1: typing away, you know, of course, typing away. Uh huh huh.
Speaker 1: And and he says, so what's your security number? I
Speaker 1: tell him where do you live? They have you ever
Speaker 1: been arrested? No? Okay, but my questions were typing. He
Speaker 1: does a slow burn and turns to me and he says, Sir,
Speaker 1: you said you've never been arrested. I say, that's correct,
Speaker 1: you've never been arrested. And he says, I told you.
Speaker 1: I told everybody, don't lie to me because we will
Speaker 1: always find out there. You go, okay, but I I've
Speaker 1: never committed a crime. I'm my father's a police I
Speaker 1: was a police officer. I'm the most honest perk. I
Speaker 1: don't do drugs on that guy. He looks at me
Speaker 1: and he says, uh huh, what happened? But what I
Speaker 1: don't know? Okay, Now before I tell you, I have
Speaker 1: to ask the podcast. I have to ask you. Have
Speaker 1: I told you what happened to me in Hawaii? Did
Speaker 1: I tell you the story? I have told the story,
Speaker 1: so I will recap it now a little bit. I said, sir,
Speaker 1: I don't the Only thing that ever happened to me
Speaker 1: was I had a traffic incident in on MAUI. That's it.
Speaker 1: He says, well, according to this, you were arrested. And
Speaker 1: I told you if you arrested, I'm gonna find out
Speaker 1: what it was. What what happened? I said, Well, do
Speaker 1: you mean what happened? I said, okay, go tell me
Speaker 1: the story about what happened. I go, it wasn't It
Speaker 1: wasn't even a real arrest. So I tell him the story.
Speaker 1: In case you don't remember when I told it on
Speaker 1: the podcast, I give you the short version that I
Speaker 1: got run off the road by a guy on the
Speaker 1: on the road to Haunt on the way back to
Speaker 1: the airport, and he it was it was either going
Speaker 1: to run into him, and he cut me off and
Speaker 1: my fender scraped a stone bridge. And because they were
Speaker 1: like a hundred stone bridges on this three hour road.
Speaker 1: When I got back to the rental car agency, they said,
Speaker 1: what happened to your car? It was in a strip
Speaker 1: mall and I said, well, we have the twelve dollars insurance.
Speaker 1: I'm covered for the damage. But I got run off
Speaker 1: the road and I hit this bridge, and I tell
Speaker 1: the I'm telling Homeland Security this, and um he said okay,
Speaker 1: And then what happened? I said? Well? He said, well,
Speaker 1: because you hit uh, you have more than twofts worth
Speaker 1: of damage. We have to report it as a as
Speaker 1: a traffic incident. And so next the next store in
Speaker 1: the strip roll was an outpost for the Hawaiian police
Speaker 1: department and the police officer. I tell us, I'm telling
Speaker 1: this to the Homeland Security guy. The police officer came
Speaker 1: in and he had me telling the story, and I
Speaker 1: told him the guy cut me off and ranning off
Speaker 1: the road and I scraped the bridge and he said
Speaker 1: which bridge, he's Are you sure you didn't hit a rock,
Speaker 1: and I said, no, I didn't hit a rock. Officer,
Speaker 1: are you sure you didn't hit a tree? No, Officer,
Speaker 1: I hit the bridge. I realized. Then I tell them
Speaker 1: telling this to the officer, I said, officer Homeland Security. Um.
Speaker 1: I realized the officer was trying to get me to
Speaker 1: not say I hit the state property, which was the bridge.
Speaker 1: He was trying to help me, But I'm an honest
Speaker 1: person and I didn't want to lie to him, so
Speaker 1: I said, no, sir, I hit the bridge, thinking I
Speaker 1: was being honest. But what he wanted me to say
Speaker 1: was I didn't hit the bridge, because now I've hit
Speaker 1: state property and he had to go examine it. Well.
Speaker 1: It took him hours to find the bridge because there's
Speaker 1: a hundred bridges on this road, and every time you
Speaker 1: turn the corner the road narrows. To his job a
Speaker 1: lot more difficult by and then they finally right and
Speaker 1: because I hit state property, they had to bring me
Speaker 1: into the precinct in a police car, and I told
Speaker 1: you the story. They fingerprinted me and took my mug
Speaker 1: shots and I held up the numbers on my chest
Speaker 1: and they put me in a cell with a drunk
Speaker 1: guy who was never he was a whin. Oh, I
Speaker 1: guess at the time. They called him a whino and
Speaker 1: my and they made it. They kind of like lighthearted
Speaker 1: about it. And in fact, my friend Rob got a
Speaker 1: copy of my mug shots because they were like, you know,
Speaker 1: like polaroids back then. And uh, the guy that they
Speaker 1: made me take a second set and afterwards you're like, yeah, Rob,
Speaker 1: my friend Rob was on the planet. He goes, I
Speaker 1: asked him to take it out the set. They told me.
Speaker 1: They didn't come out right. They lied, they were playing along.
Speaker 1: My buddy got its officer Homeland Security guy. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna call him Victor so I don't have to keep
Speaker 1: saying Homeland Security guy. I said, Victor. They made a
Speaker 1: joke of it. They gave my friend a second copy
Speaker 1: of my mug shots because there wasn't really an arrest.
Speaker 1: It was like the fact that I accidentally hit a
Speaker 1: state bridge. They had to like process it, and they
Speaker 1: admitted to me it's a scam because they give you
Speaker 1: a court date and they know you're not coming back.
Speaker 1: So I paid a hundred dollars bail right to get
Speaker 1: out that I would have gotten back and I come
Speaker 1: back to court. It was not a big thing. He
Speaker 1: looks at me, goes, h huh uh huh. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to call this in Okay. He called Hawaii
Speaker 1: from the airport on Labor Day and I think this
Speaker 1: was like seven in the morning when we landed. Maybe
Speaker 1: He calls the while he goes, yeah, this is Victor
Speaker 1: from Homeland Security at uh at New York International. Right,
Speaker 1: he says, I've got to I've got to check the
Speaker 1: records I have. He calls the Maui police. He goes,
Speaker 1: I have a gentleman here. He'sa applying for global entry
Speaker 1: and apparently he was arrested in night. All right, I'm
Speaker 1: aging myself. It was eight and uh, you know I'm
Speaker 1: saying this. He didn't say so in vict Is He's
Speaker 1: whispering the phone. He's like, look, the guy is applying.
Speaker 1: I want to know why he was arrested. She's like,
Speaker 1: He's like, I know it's early. I know you're light staffed.
Speaker 1: I need This is homeland security. This is a major issue.
Speaker 1: And my wife's holding my hand. She's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what's going on here? I'm like, oh my god. So
Speaker 1: he's like, uh huh and what does that mean? Ham,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? And what does that term mean?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? And what does that mean on his record?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? And what does reckless reckless driving mean? What
Speaker 1: does that mean in terms of how do you process that? Uh?
Speaker 1: It's a code what uhuh? Like a twelve or something whatever? Huh?
Speaker 1: He said. So he turns to me and he says, so,
Speaker 1: did they mentioned to you it was it wasn't reckless driving?
Speaker 1: I forget the term he used, because but let's say
Speaker 1: it was unsafe whatever it was he was. Did they
Speaker 1: tell you it was reckless driving? I go, well, I
Speaker 1: wasn't reckless driving. The guy cut me off into it.
Speaker 1: I had no choice but to question to him or
Speaker 1: question to the bridge. I'm a safe driver. I wasn't
Speaker 1: drinking or anything, he says. He says he was cut
Speaker 1: off in the rental car. But he says, ah, so
Speaker 1: it was an it was it was it was seventeen
Speaker 1: or whatever. He's wrong. So they turns to me, goes, huh, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, and he looks down at his computing. He
Speaker 1: starts typing. He starts typing. He's not talking to me.
Speaker 1: So I go, I go, So I go, um um my,
Speaker 1: Am I in trouble for lying? Why day? I don't?
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm while it's happening here. So
Speaker 1: he stands up and he puts his lead, comes up
Speaker 1: to the plexiglass and he says, you've passed. I said,
Speaker 1: I said what He goes, apparently it's what you said. Yes,
Speaker 1: He goes, the story check, the story checks, it's checks out.
Speaker 1: You you you have your card in the mail in
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. Not a liar, that's it. I know.
Speaker 1: I go, but you you couldn't have said something before
Speaker 1: the typing. I've been I'm pissing my pants here. He says,
Speaker 1: I did tell you not to lie to me. I go,
Speaker 1: who would have thought? He goes, I understand? Are you okay?
Speaker 1: So dude, I was shipping my self because because he said,
Speaker 1: He goes, because he's have to call. I have to
Speaker 1: call airport. Airport security uh to come over to to
Speaker 1: to interview you. Like if they had told him, I like,
Speaker 1: if Maui police had said yes, this was a criminal offense,
Speaker 1: I would have just lied to Homeland Security. I I
Speaker 1: had a hope that someone answered the gonna lie. That's
Speaker 1: that's crazy to me. He was gonna, he said, we
Speaker 1: may he goes. He said to me, goes, if I
Speaker 1: can't get someone on the phone from the now we police,
Speaker 1: we may have to detain you until somebody comes into
Speaker 1: the office. Like I'm like, what he says, good because
Speaker 1: he goes. It's falsifying documents I put down. I wasn't arrested, right,
Speaker 1: So this fucking stupid traffic thing from Hawaii from is
Speaker 1: still fucking haunting me. He's haunting me. I almost didn't
Speaker 1: get global entry. I almost got arrested at the airport
Speaker 1: or something stupid because they wanted a hundred allar scamboni
Speaker 1: on me that they knew it was a scamboni. They
Speaker 1: admitted it was a scamboni and they they haven't. I
Speaker 1: was like, can you ask them if they can wipe
Speaker 1: my record? He's like, it's not my jurisdiction. That's a
Speaker 1: local thing. You could call them, I go holy ship,
Speaker 1: maybe you should call them Brodie. I would. I would
Speaker 1: definitely for the rest of my life. On job applications
Speaker 1: if they ask you if I've been arrested, Like, what
Speaker 1: if I say no, and they don't want to hire
Speaker 1: me because they found out I was arrested. And if
Speaker 1: I say I was arrested, what if they don't want
Speaker 1: to hire me because I was arrested? Holy scare. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't DVDs, I don't do anything I know,
Speaker 1: especially since they don't make him anymore but him. All right,
Speaker 1: all right, we need to breathe. Okay, we're good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's sucked up. It's funked up. And listen on several
Speaker 1: in several ways, man, thirty four years ago, a guy
Speaker 1: ran me off the road. Holy sh it. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: as long as you keep explaining it, I think you know,
Speaker 1: the truth shall set you free, David Brodie, and I
Speaker 1: think it will set us all free. And you know
Speaker 1: where people are the most honest in Brooklyn. In Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: you any saying okay, So I'm say I think the
Speaker 1: knife stealing woman from Brooklyn last week proved that we
Speaker 1: are not honest musically, Boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn Boys Brock brookl