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Speaker 1: You can heal while in the presence of someone if

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Speaker 1: they are the cause of some of your trauma or turmoil.

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Speaker 1: In fact, in some cases it's ideal. For example, if

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Speaker 1: you are in a couple's relationship and the person is

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Speaker 1: the cause of some of your trauma and difficulty, but

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Speaker 1: yet they also have a tremendous amount of remorse and

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Speaker 1: they want to grow and heal, and they're willing to

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Speaker 1: do healing things to help you get on the other

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Speaker 1: side of your trauma. Another example is if you have

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Speaker 1: trauma with a particular parent. Not only can it happen,

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Speaker 1: but it's ideal because that parent can actually say and

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Speaker 1: do things to help you heal, and a lot of

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Speaker 1: times they're the only ones who can say and do

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Speaker 1: things to help you heal. So yes, absolutely, you can

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Speaker 1: heal in the presence of someone who has caused you harm, trauma,

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Speaker 1: or turmoil, and in fact, there are lots of opportunities

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Speaker 1: or lots of cases where that is optimal. Welcome back

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Speaker 1: to Family Therapy. I'm your host, Elliott Connie. What's been

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Speaker 1: better since you listened to the previous episode? You'll notice

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Speaker 1: I ask that question in almost every session beyond the

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Speaker 1: first session. And I'm asking you my audience that question

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Speaker 1: here because I want to shift your focus to the

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Speaker 1: things you enjoy about life as opposed to the things

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Speaker 1: that cause you stress. The purpose of couple's therapy is

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Speaker 1: for two people to get on the same page to

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Speaker 1: create healing, progress, growth, whatever sign of positive in their relationship.

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Speaker 1: And when people should start considering therapy is when the

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Speaker 1: relationship has become stagnant or unsatisfying to one of or

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Speaker 1: both members. I mean, a couple's therapies is really really

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Speaker 1: great to get people on the same page, working in

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Speaker 1: the same direction to co create the kind of relationship

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Speaker 1: that they both would experience as satisfying. Today, we're going

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Speaker 1: to spend time working with Jay and David as they

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Speaker 1: work together to rediscover the happiness that they once enjoyed,

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Speaker 1: as they work together to build the kind of relationship

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Speaker 1: that they would both experience as joyous. Well, what is

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Speaker 1: up to two of my favorite people? I'm very excited

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Speaker 1: to get to talk to you guys today, So what

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Speaker 1: are your very best hopes from talking with me?

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Speaker 2: We actually each other that I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I'm all open on, open airs, open minded, so let's see.

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Speaker 3: I always walk away good from the session. So let's

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Speaker 3: see what happens today.

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Speaker 1: What would be the type of thing David that if

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Speaker 1: it happened, you'd be you'd be pleased with it?

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Speaker 2: Hmm, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I got to hear it and see it first. I

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Speaker 3: don't know, Like I have no one thing to pinpoint.

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Speaker 1: Would you know it if it happened?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Probably more than likely.

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Speaker 1: Okay. And would you be pleased to have something good

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Speaker 1: come of this?

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Speaker 2: Yes? I will?

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Speaker 1: Okay. So and so somehow are talking led to something

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Speaker 1: good that'd be a good thing?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Jam?

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Speaker 2: What about you?

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Speaker 1: What are you hoping to to get from talking with

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Speaker 1: me here today?

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Speaker 4: I actually did about this because I was like, I know,

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Speaker 4: who's gonna ask?

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Speaker 1: No, I wasn't.

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Speaker 4: I think a good thing to come out of this

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Speaker 4: would be for David and I to learn more about

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Speaker 4: how we can help each other as individuals on different journeys,

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Speaker 4: different paths, learning more about what that looks like for

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Speaker 4: each person.

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Speaker 1: What what difference would make to you to learn more

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Speaker 1: about how to help one another? Do you think?

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Speaker 4: I think because we are clearly parents, and if we

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Speaker 4: can help each other, then that means we can be

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Speaker 4: better for our children. So I think it would make

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Speaker 4: a huge difference.

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Speaker 1: And what different would it make? So I I agree

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Speaker 1: with you, like that'd be great to make a different

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Speaker 1: for how we function as parents. What do you think

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Speaker 1: that would do to how you and David function with

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Speaker 1: one another?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: What differen would that make between your relationship with you

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Speaker 1: and David? Do you think?

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Speaker 4: Well? I think the difference is the better we are

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Speaker 4: with each other, the better parents we can be, the

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Speaker 4: happier we are, the closer we are to living our

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Speaker 4: best lives, then the better we will be for our children.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And what do you hope that would do to

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Speaker 1: the dynamic between you and David? You know what I'm asking?

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, how that impact the

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Speaker 1: relationship between you and David?

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Speaker 4: I think the impact would be positive. I think I

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Speaker 4: think that's not necessarily how we have functioned most recently.

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Speaker 4: We do help each other, but I think the goal

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Speaker 4: is more like, how can we help each other so

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Speaker 4: that we are, you know, creating a household that is functional.

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Speaker 4: But I think that's different than helping each other as

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Speaker 4: individuals to be better or to reach our personal goals.

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Speaker 4: I think it puts us as individuals at the forefront

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Speaker 4: versus us as parents helping the.

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Speaker 1: Household, and what would this do to the way you

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Speaker 1: thought about the future of you and David? Do you think?

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Speaker 4: Well, I think regardless of whether we live together or not,

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Speaker 4: we are bonded together forever, as you know, mother and

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Speaker 4: father to beautiful children. So the better we can assist

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Speaker 4: each other is just you know, if we're both winning,

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Speaker 4: then our children are more likely to win.

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Speaker 1: Dutch And by the way, I don't think I've asked

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Speaker 1: either of you this, but in your relationship, have you

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Speaker 1: guys ever ever gone to see a couples therapists?

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Speaker 4: M hm, yep?

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Speaker 1: How many times?

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Speaker 4: I think we had like one and a half.

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Speaker 1: Like one and a half sessions.

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Speaker 3: The first time we went was twenty and nineteen, and

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Speaker 3: I don't know, we probably did what four or five

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Speaker 3: if that, and then we wasn't really feeling her. And

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Speaker 3: then the second most recent one was only what two sessions?

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Speaker 3: One session, I don't know, one two.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I'm really excited to talk to the two

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Speaker 1: of you. David, what's your favorite thing about Jalen? Like,

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Speaker 1: no one's perfect, so I imagine they're probably thinks about her.

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Speaker 1: You'd hope she changed or whatever, But like, what is

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Speaker 1: what is your favorite thing about her? Like the thing

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Speaker 1: about her you hope she never ever changes.

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Speaker 2: She recognizes like the good in you.

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Speaker 3: She's very encouraging when you might have some doubt, like

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Speaker 3: she's not real rob Rock, like you know, it's just

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Speaker 3: the way she said things in this that like I okay, cool, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I think one of the things is like she

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Speaker 3: recognizes things in you that you probably won't see in

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Speaker 3: yourself or you do know, but you're not putting it

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Speaker 3: to the front foor and she and she'll say that,

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Speaker 3: and she'll tell you that, and it just the way

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Speaker 3: she say it, Like I always say, like whatever, no

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Speaker 3: matter how loud it is or whatever, I can always

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Speaker 3: hear her talking like and she won't even be loud,

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Speaker 3: Like she won't even be loud.

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Speaker 2: She'll just be.

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Speaker 3: Baby or David or something like that, and it's just

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Speaker 3: like everything else just goes mute and that's the only

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Speaker 3: voice I hear.

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Speaker 2: So I think that that's one of the things I.

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Speaker 3: Really really really really like about I had a look

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Speaker 3: over time in certain situations and things. I think that's

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Speaker 3: the one that tops all up and.

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Speaker 1: Gotcha okay, And Jalen, what about you? What's your favorite

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Speaker 1: thing about David? And again, he's He's very much not perfect,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure there are things about him you'd like

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Speaker 1: to change. But what's the thing about him you enjoy

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Speaker 1: the most.

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Speaker 4: I guess the first thing that comes to mind is

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Speaker 4: that he is fun. He can bring kind of humor

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Speaker 4: and a good time to wherever he is and whoever

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Speaker 4: he's around. So I can be very serious, so he

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Speaker 4: knows how to kind of lighten the mood and help

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Speaker 4: you kind of forget about the things that are stressing

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Speaker 4: you out and just bring some type of positive energy

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Speaker 4: and know, just good heartedness.

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Speaker 1: That's excellent. And how did the two of you meet?

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Speaker 4: He stepped on my foot in a club.

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Speaker 1: You are telling me, I.

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Speaker 4: Am, And he wears a size thirteen. So that is

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Speaker 4: the story. We was at a club. I was with

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Speaker 4: his cousin. I had just came home from Afghanistan like

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Speaker 4: a month prior, maybe a little a little over a

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Speaker 4: month prior, and he was drunk and he stepped on

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Speaker 4: my foot. Yeah, he was a little he was feeling it.

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Speaker 4: She stepped on and was very apologetic, and I was

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Speaker 4: just like, it's all good. You know, I'm cool, but

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Speaker 4: he was very, very apologetic, and he asked to massage

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Speaker 4: my foot for.

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Speaker 1: Me right there in the club.

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Speaker 4: Yep, h yeah, and he did. He did it.

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Speaker 1: He took the I did.

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Speaker 4: I did, of course. He asked me for my phone

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Speaker 4: number and I said no, and he called his cousin

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Speaker 4: when we were on our way home and asked to

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Speaker 4: speak to me and asked me for my number again,

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Speaker 4: and I said that I would take his number. I

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Speaker 4: think I took his number, and I wasn't expecting to

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Speaker 4: contact him, but I wasn't back at work yet. I

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Speaker 4: was kind of bored. I just came home, so I

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Speaker 4: ended up texting him and m kind of hit it

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Speaker 4: off from there.

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Speaker 1: Can I pause you for a second? Why why would

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Speaker 1: you say no? When he first said can every phone number?

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Speaker 1: You said, I said no? How come?

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Speaker 4: Because I didn't like that he was like tipsy and

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to. I don't know, like it was

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Speaker 4: like our first interaction and you're not even sober, So

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Speaker 4: do you really want my phone number? Or do you

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Speaker 4: just you know, just kind of going with the situation.

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Speaker 4: So that was that, and then also I was kind

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Speaker 4: of not in the best headspace after my deployment, So

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Speaker 4: I wasn't really looking to date anybody or anything like that.

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Speaker 4: So that's pretty much it.

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Speaker 1: So then you took his number. You didn't even expect

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Speaker 1: to use it necessarily, and then you were weren't working

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Speaker 1: yet board and you texted him and then you said

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Speaker 1: we hit it off from there? How could you tell

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Speaker 1: you were hitting it off?

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Speaker 4: Well, we talked on the phone a little bit, text

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Speaker 4: a little bit. He asked to take me out and

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Speaker 4: I agreed that he could, that we could meet up

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Speaker 4: at a park, and when we're at the park, we had,

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Speaker 4: you know, a really good conversation. And then after the park,

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Speaker 4: we went to the movies and then after that we went.

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Speaker 2: Out to me Oh yeah, we went to the movie.

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Speaker 4: We ate first and then we went to the movie.

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Speaker 4: So we kind of ended up being together that whole day.

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Speaker 4: You know, it was a good vibe and the energy

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Speaker 4: was good, so we just we clicked a little bit.

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Speaker 1: David, why why pursue her?

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Speaker 3: I mean when I saw that night, I mean, Jalen

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Speaker 3: was very attractive. She's an attractive woman, and I never saw

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Speaker 3: her before and it's crazy, like I never knew who

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Speaker 3: she was. And we both from the same city and

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Speaker 3: got some of the same friends, and she's good friends

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Speaker 3: with my cousin. I ain't know who she was, so,

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Speaker 3: you know, like like she said, I was a little tipsy.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 3: When I first stepped on her foot. When I stepped

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Speaker 3: on her foot, I was like, I'm just gonna go

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Speaker 3: for it. Okay, she tell me noa not, I'm just

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Speaker 3: gonna go for it. And I just went for it,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: And then.

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Speaker 3: When she called me, I responded back and we just

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Speaker 3: had good conversation at the park. So I had to

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Speaker 3: let her see the sober like I am a smart individual,

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Speaker 3: I'm a nice guy, and you know I can't be

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Speaker 3: funny at times, and da da da da da da,

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Speaker 3: And then you know, we just hit it off from there.

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Speaker 2: That was basically what it was.

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Speaker 1: David. How did you know you were hitting it off?

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Speaker 1: Like what were the signs to you?

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Speaker 3: She was smiling, she was being responsive, not giving me

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Speaker 3: uh like yes, no answers, you know, and not like

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Speaker 3: if I took a shot or like you know, if

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Speaker 3: I say, if I said something she had come back

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Speaker 3: at me and.

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah, and then it was It's good.

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Speaker 3: Was just a good vibe and energy. It was just

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Speaker 3: good vibing and energy. You know, like when you're sitting

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Speaker 3: there with.

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Speaker 2: Somebody, the vibing good.

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Speaker 3: They ain't being responsible, like, man, I'm out now, I'm good.

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Speaker 3: You would have made up something you have absolutely nothing

250
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Speaker 3: to do. You would have made up something like I

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Speaker 3: got to go home, take my dog out for a

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Speaker 3: walk or something. Yeah, but that wasn't the case, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I don't even have a dog. So after we

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Speaker 3: I like, I'm gonna be honest with you. When she

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Speaker 3: said let's me got the park, I was like.

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Speaker 2: What militant me at the park? Like I ain't no weirdo.

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Speaker 2: But I took it and run with it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I never had that, like we're gonna meet

259
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Speaker 3: at a park, a public place like out in the open.

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Speaker 2: I was like a cool like I was with it.

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Speaker 3: I was with it, and the energy and the vibe

262
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Speaker 3: was good. We both wasn't doing nothing, you know what

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Speaker 3: I'm saying. I wasn't working at the time, She wasn't

264
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Speaker 3: working at the time, or whatever the case may be.

265
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Speaker 3: But we was having a good time. We definitely was.

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Speaker 3: And we just took it from there. For you to

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Speaker 3: meet somebody at the park at one or two o'clock

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Speaker 3: in the afternoon and be with them until two o'clock

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Speaker 3: in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Like something had been going right.

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Speaker 1: And how long did it take to two of you

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Speaker 1: to turn this initial meeting where we're vibing and kind

273
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Speaker 1: of clicking a little bit, How long did it take

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Speaker 1: to two of you to turn this into a relationship?

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Speaker 3: She threatened my life the day of the not even

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Speaker 3: the day, the minutes leading up into my cousin's surprise

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Speaker 3: birthday party.

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Speaker 1: Your life.

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Speaker 2: You're not threaten, she said. Listen, she said, listen, I'm

280
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Speaker 2: not going to this party to meet all your family

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Speaker 2: that you've been talking about. And you got a big family,

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Speaker 2: and I ain't your woman. I said, what you mean?

283
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Speaker 2: Like like you, I'm a lady.

284
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Speaker 3: Like no, we got to make it official. I'm not playing,

285
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Speaker 3: I'm not going. Already told everybody you coming, I'll get

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Speaker 3: back in the car. So it was that November.

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Speaker 2: Twentieth, I think it was.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my cousin she was surprised all black birthday party,

289
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Speaker 3: and that's when she met all my family.

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Speaker 1: Were you literally like walking into the party Dayleen said.

291
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Speaker 2: This, Yeah, we was in the car, she said something.

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Speaker 2: Then when we was walking in. She's like, I'm serious.

293
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, now, yeah, so she was serious.

294
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Speaker 4: So we met in August, the end of August, and

295
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Speaker 4: then I guess it was official.

296
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Speaker 3: August third, No, we met August third, my brother birthday

297
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Speaker 3: party August third.

298
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then the end, like the middle to the

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Speaker 4: end of November.

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Speaker 2: November four, Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: Jalen, why would you want to be his partner? Like officially?

302
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: Like what was making you want that to be the case?

303
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 4: Well, because we have been spending a lot of time

304
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Speaker 4: together one on one, and it just felt like, Okay,

305
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 4: if I'm going to go meet all these people, I

306
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 4: don't want to meet them as your friend, Like I

307
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 4: think we're a little past the point of being friends.

308
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 4: So you know, let's go ahead and put put a

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Speaker 4: name on it. This is if this is what you

310
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Speaker 4: want to do, Like I don't have to meet them tonight,

311
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 4: but if this is what you want to do, then

312
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 4: you're gonna, you know, put some respect on my name

313
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Speaker 4: and call me what I am.

314
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Speaker 3: But also too though, if my family was here, they'll

315
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 3: tell you, I don't bring unless you my lady like

316
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Speaker 3: my woman, I don't bring you around my family like that.

317
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Speaker 2: But everybody was there, everybody, so I knew it in

318
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Speaker 2: my head. I just had to say it out loud.

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Speaker 1: Why were you comfortable? What was it about Jane that

320
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: was letting you comfortable to meet all your family?

321
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Speaker 3: Because I did like, like she said, we spent a

322
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Speaker 3: lot of time like after that initial interaction and then

323
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,959
Speaker 3: after the part, we spent a lot of their time together,

324
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,360
Speaker 3: like a lot like the rest of the summer going

325
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 3: into the fall, just hanging out with each other. So

326
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 3: it was I was like, and then one of my

327
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 3: best friends said it like he said, he said, Dave,

328
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 3: because they call me Debo. He was like, Deebo, I

329
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 3: ain't never seen you act like that with no female.

330
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 3: He said, that's gonna be your lady. Watch that's exactly

331
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Speaker 3: what he's saying, even knowing me since I was ten

332
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Speaker 3: years old, he said, that's gonna be your lady, right, yeah,

333
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 3: because he saw.

334
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 2: It like over the phone or I don't know if.

335
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 3: He saw like the bubbly like you know what I mean,

336
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 3: smiling all the time and things of that nature, though,

337
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 3: but I just felt it. I just had to say it.

338
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 3: I could have said it in October. Yeah, I ain't

339
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 3: have to wait to November. Yeah, I just felt it.

340
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 3: I just felt something about Jay, like, yeah, this is

341
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Speaker 3: the one I wanted to be my lady.

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00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 2: Yeah I was.

343
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Speaker 1: I was just about to ask you, like, what was

344
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 1: your friend noticing? But then you said like smiling and

345
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,680
Speaker 1: bubbly and stuff like that, and just was that unusual

346
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,880
Speaker 1: for you?

347
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's unusual. Yeah, especially for him to see it. Like,

348
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 3: and we were just hanging out. He's sitting on his

349
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 3: couch and you know, Jay law and I got up

350
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 3: and used the phone, that stepped into the kitchen real quick,

351
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 3: and then I came back and that's the first thing

352
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 3: that came out of his mouth.

353
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 2: He said, that's gonna be a lady, watch I tell you.

354
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 3: And this fight was like September, he said, before the

355
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 3: money over with, because he's been hearing like we've been

356
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 3: hanging out and I've been telling him like, nah me

357
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 3: and jam we did this, now were about to go

358
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 3: do this now. I was just dang when he was

359
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 3: at last night. Now, I was just chilling with Jay, chilling,

360
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 3: was on the porch, just hanging out. He was like, oh,

361
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: I right, yeah, so you know mm hmm.

362
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 1: JA, could you tell you were making him happy? In

363
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 1: that way back then, because he.

364
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 4: Wouldn't leave me alone. He called me every day.

365
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: How how did it impact you to know you were

366
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 1: having an impact on him in that way?

367
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 4: I mean we were happy, were you know, always smiling,

368
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 4: having a good time, learning about each other, you know,

369
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 4: our goals and all of that stuff. Like I never

370
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 4: felt like he was not comfortable sharing things with me

371
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 4: and telling me about hisself. And you know, it was

372
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 4: it was, it was. It was positive. He was happy.

373
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 4: He seemed happy at least, And that's how I could tell.

374
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: Hmm if you woke up tomorrow and that happiness was back,

375
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 1: how would each of you notice it?

376
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: Mm hm hmmm.

377
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 4: I guess we'd probably be wanting to spend more time together, like,

378
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 4: you know, looking for ways to enjoy each other's time.

379
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 4: You know, I think that would be one way. I

380
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 4: don't think we really do that now. It's kind of

381
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 4: like he does his thing, I do my thing.

382
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Jaylen, you just said something like we would

383
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 1: want to spend time together. Is that what you said?

384
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:15,919
Speaker 1: Is that what I heard?

385
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 4: Yeah?

386
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 1: Forget David for a second, Like, how would you become

387
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 1: aware that I'm interested in spending time with him?

388
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: Like?

389
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: What would you notice about Jay That would tell you

390
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 1: something is changed and I'm interested in spending time with him.

391
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 4: And guess how it would be excited to come up

392
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 4: with things to do with him.

393
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: If you notice that excitement, would you be a lot

394
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: surprised or a little surprised.

395
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 4: I'd be pretty surprised.

396
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: You'd be pretty surprised. Okay, what type of things would

397
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 1: you be thinking about wanting to do with David?

398
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: Uh?

399
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe go to the gun range, maybe go to

400
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 4: the go work out, like, maybe try out in the

401
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 4: gym or something. I mean, we go to restaurants every

402
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 4: now and then, so that's not really like it's cool,

403
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 4: but it's not like something I get like super excited about.

404
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 4: So maybe I don't know, I guess trying something that's

405
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 4: a little bit out of our norm, like a weekend

406
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 4: trip somewhere.

407
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: Where would you where would you be thinking about going

408
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: on a weekend trip?

409
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 4: I saw this, Uh this, I think it was upstate

410
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 4: New York. I can't remember exactly where it was, but

411
00:23:55,480 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 4: it was like this cabin place in the woods that

412
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 4: had like a hot tub and this beautiful view of

413
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:13,199
Speaker 4: the skyline and the trees and things like that. I

414
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 4: would have to look up the name. But when I

415
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 4: saw it, I was like, man, that looks like a

416
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 4: really cool place to be where It's like, you know,

417
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 4: you can go places anywhere, really, but someplace that allows

418
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 4: you to have less distractions and kind of just focus

419
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 4: on the person you're with, Like that would be cool?

420
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: And again, how surprised would you be to be thinking about, Man,

421
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: I want to go to a place with David where

422
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: I have less distractions just so I can focus on

423
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 1: the person I'm with.

424
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 4: I mean, it hasn't been a thought recently.

425
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: So would it be a big surprise or a little surprise?

426
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 4: Say a big one?

427
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: A big one? How would you first let David know

428
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: you were having these thoughts? Just David?

429
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 4: I mean I would just tell him.

430
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: Would you call him? Would you text him?

431
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: Like?

432
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: How would you first let him know?

433
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 4: I would text? Yeah, I will probably text David.

434
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: If you introject one more time.

435
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

436
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: Okay, you said you would text, yes, how would the

437
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: text be written or like? How would you make sure

438
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: David received the text as this version of you?

439
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 4: I would just say I'm really excited. I found this

440
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 4: place is really cool.

441
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: I love to go with you.

442
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: Okay, David, would you know that this was like I

443
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: hate to say, like the old version of David. Would

444
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: you know that like this is the old version.

445
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: Well, the old version as far as what like the

446
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 2: excitement like.

447
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 1: The previous version.

448
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think it's yeah, I'll say yes to that.

449
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 2: But if she likes stuff like that, she like being

450
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: out in the.

451
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 3: Nature and you know, beautiful vibes and like views and

452
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 3: stuff like that, So it went in as far as

453
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 3: the place went and shocked me as much, but it

454
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: would definitely be you know, I know that's something an

455
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 3: older version of I mean, the previous version. As far

456
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 3: as I get a text like that, I'm like, okay,

457
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 3: what's going on? And I and knowing me as soon

458
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 3: as she texted me, I was gonna call anything. I'm

459
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 3: gonna call it anyway. I ain't gonna sit there and

460
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 3: text back or if I'm busy, I'm like cool, that

461
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 3: looks dope, and then call it later regardless. So and

462
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: then we'll have to talk about it and see try

463
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 3: to make it happen.

464
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: And how would she know that the previous version of

465
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: Day is calling her?

466
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 2: Like?

467
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 1: What would she notice that would tell her, this is

468
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: the like, this is the David I vibe with. This

469
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: is the David that I click a little bit with, Like,

470
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: how would she know with the previous version of David

471
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: is one calling her?

472
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 3: I mean, first you'll have to see changes change in

473
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 3: me first, then she'll know, like is this not gonna

474
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 3: just come to that? It would have to be some

475
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 3: changes done by me?

476
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: And well, I mean that's true, but kind of not true.

477
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: Let me give you an example what I mean by that.

478
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: M Have you ever like just watched your son like

479
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: wake up and been like, oh, there's gonna be a

480
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 1: tough day, Like something about the tone or the you

481
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,239
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like something is telling you like

482
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a tough day or a great day.

483
00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: Like sometimes we can we can notice things because I

484
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: can see something in you just in the way you

485
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: talking or walking or moving. So I guess my question

486
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: would be, how would je like this is the version

487
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: of David that I really enjoy?

488
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 3: I don't know.

489
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: Tough question, I really don't. I don't know.

490
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 3: Maybe if I initiated it or something, I don't know.

491
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 3: M I mean I pretty much I walked the same.

492
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: Maybe my attitude would be a little different, smiling a

493
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 3: little bit more.

494
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: I don't want in what way? What what would the

495
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: attitude be that Jalen would notice and say this is

496
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: the version of him.

497
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: I mean.

498
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 3: A lot of my attitude now is just as because

499
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 3: of a lot of stuff that's just going on. So

500
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: if I know how to channel that and put that

501
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 3: to this side and just you know, she remained positive

502
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: and upbeat.

503
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 2: I think you know what I'm saying.

504
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 3: I think should should should notice that, you know, the

505
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: excitement in my voice or in my face or something

506
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 3: like that. I think that's what she'll notice more first,

507
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 3: in my opinion.

508
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: What difference do you think that would make to her

509
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 1: to see that version of you?

510
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 2: I think it'll make a big difference. I think, you know,

511
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 2: it brings a little bit.

512
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 3: Of more joy, some more joy that she needs in

513
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 3: her life.

514
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 2: Uh.

515
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 3: I think I think it helped jailing out a lot.

516
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 3: If she sees that version of me again, I really

517
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 3: do she deserves it?

518
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: And how how would you know she saw it? What

519
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: would be your first clue that she saw it.

520
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: The way she responds, you know, the conversation, the conversation

521
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 3: would be a little different, that would be the first

522
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 3: Like I'm pretty good at responding the way people respond

523
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 3: back and how they feel in and you know, by

524
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 3: the way they respond I think that'll be the first

525
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 3: tell tale sign and then the response to go into

526
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 3: a conversation and you know.

527
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: Man probably hugging the kiss or something.

528
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: Would would you be happy that she noticed this version

529
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: of you?

530
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 2: David?

531
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I will, because it would it make me happy,

532
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 3: Like like I said, I said this before too, you know,

533
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 3: like I get joy on seeing happiness.

534
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 2: Jay in my kids' faces. Like that brings joy to

535
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: me too.

536
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 3: So you know, if I if I could do something

537
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 3: to get that joy back or do things or change,

538
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 3: then you.

539
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 2: Know, that'll definitely bring a lot of joy to me myself.

540
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: To see the joy on her face.

541
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: How would you let her know you were experiencing joy

542
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: because it was joy on her face?

543
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 2: David, I'm I probably. I mean, I don't know if

544
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 2: I would say anything.

545
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 3: That's usually not like my thing, like you know, but

546
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: you know, I think she'll probably notice because she'll deceive me,

547
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: like the way I'm just acting and you know, and

548
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 3: upbeat and you know, just involved in detail, like you know,

549
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 3: just paying attention and things of that nature, like I'm

550
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 3: not the one to be like, you know what, I

551
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 3: will do it, but that's just not me. Like, you

552
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 3: know what, that's I'm happy that you're happy or something

553
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 3: like that. I don't say that enough. I don't say

554
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 3: that a lot, but It'll been times when I see

555
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 3: the joy on my jayface and my kids face and

556
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 3: I'm just smiling, ear and ear, like you know what

557
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 3: I'm saying, because it's like, that's what's up. I'm glad

558
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 3: they jo I'm glad they're happy and feeling good. That

559
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 3: makes me feel good.

560
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: So you know, And you said you said you don't

561
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: you don't say that enough? Did I catch you say?

562
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: Did I hear you?

563
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

564
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest, I don't. I don't say what

565
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: do you think?

566
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: Right right? You think it, but it doesn't come out

567
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: mm hmm. What do you think it would do to

568
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: Jaylen to know that there's this guy in her life

569
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: that that really experiences joy when she is happy? What

570
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:57,959
Speaker 1: do you think that would do to her?

571
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 2: I think that will uh probably bring some clarity to

572
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 2: some stuff.

573
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 3: It would be something different because I usually don't express

574
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,479
Speaker 3: stuff like that, but I think it will make her

575
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 3: feel good that I'm not just thinking it that I

576
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 3: actually verbally said it.

577
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: Jim, how would you respond to hearing him say that

578
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: that I bring joy to him? Yeah, that he has

579
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: joy just from seeing you happy?

580
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 4: I would repine, probably surprised.

581
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: Would you be pleased about it?

582
00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 2: Yeah?

583
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: And how would you said surprised? Would it be a

584
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: good surprise? I'm guessing.

585
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it would be just like, oh wow,

586
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 4: I never heard you say that before, so it wasn't

587
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 4: even a thing. I didn't even know it was a thing.

588
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 4: So cool.

589
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: How would you let him know you were happy about it?

590
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't even know if I would

591
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 4: be initially happy about it, because I would be surprised,

592
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 4: and I would probably question it.

593
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 2: Gotcha? Really? Me? Sure?

594
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 1: So you might be so surprised you'd be like really, yeah,

595
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: would you say that to him? Do you think are

596
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: you the type of person that might say that to him?

597
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 4: Yeah?

598
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: Okay, So, Jane, this is a super important question. Even

599
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: while surprised, and even though you're saying things to him

600
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: like really, how might you communicate to him that I

601
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 1: want this to stay? Like I'm questioning this. I'm not

602
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: sure what you're up to or why you're doing it.

603
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: But I want this kind of communication to stay. How

604
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: would you let him know that?

605
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 4: I would just tell him.

606
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: You would just come out and tell him. And does

607
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 1: that feel like who Jane really is, Like she's the

608
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 1: type of person that would just come out and say that, Yeah, okay.

609
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: Another really important question is how would you say that

610
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: to him in a way he would hear it as

611
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:56,720
Speaker 1: like you're rooting for him as opposed to criticizing him.

612
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Right?

613
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 4: I think that would be the challenge is to say

614
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 4: it in a way that he receives it positively, because

615
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 4: I would want him to receive it positively. But if

616
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 4: i'm if I have doubt in my head, it may

617
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 4: not come out that way. So I would want to

618
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 4: try to telor it in a way that was, you know, thoughtful.

619
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: And how would you do that?

620
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 2: Can you?

621
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: Can you give me an example, like I so appreciate

622
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 1: you would say that like if I had doubt, it

623
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: might come out in a different way, but I might

624
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 1: have to tailor it so it came out thoughtful. How

625
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: would how would you do that so he heard this

626
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: as like rooting for you, supportive as opposed to like critical.

627
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 4: I guess I would just say I'm surprised that you're

628
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 4: saying this, but whatever I can do to keep it coming,

629
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 4: let me know because I like it.

630
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: Because I like it, And David, would that be unusual

631
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: to hear? Would that be the kind unusual thing to hear? Yeah?

632
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah from Jay? No?

633
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 1: No, you would recognize this as like, this is the real.

634
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: Jay either way is the real.

635
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 3: One thing about her, she's gonna say what she's gonna say, right,

636
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: that's one thing she's not gonna She's gonna say what

637
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 3: she gonna say. And if if it comes off wrong

638
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: and you let her know, she'll say, my bad, But

639
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 3: I said what I said, right, But for her to

640
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: say like, she doesn't have to make it too complex

641
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 3: or whatever. But if she say it and she's smiling

642
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 3: from heir to ear, I know it's you know, I'm like,

643
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 3: all right, Okay, I hear you. I got you, all right,

644
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: And I won't take it Noway, Like that's positive right there, right,

645
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 3: because she she like it. She wants me to continue

646
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 3: to keep communicating it like that. So that's that's what

647
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 3: I gotta do. Yeah, So I'll take that, give behind

648
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 3: five a kiss and a hug.

649
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: And would that be unusual for you guys to communicate

650
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: like this.

651
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I.

652
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: Guess both of you and yes, David, Now like in

653
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: this current time, would that be unusual if you guys

654
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: in this way, Jane, I see you nodded. Would would

655
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: you agree that would be unusual?

656
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 4: M Yeah, okay.

657
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: Can I tell you why that is such an important

658
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: thing you guys just described. When we started this conversation,

659
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:45,240
Speaker 1: I asked you, uh, and you you predicted the question

660
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: I would ask you. And I'm kind of mad at you.

661
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 1: Ever have somebody saying like quick acting like you know,

662
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: somebody like you came in here knowing I was gonna

663
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 1: ask him. That's okay, I'll live with it. But your

664
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: answer was we want to like help one another, like

665
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to help another r Do

666
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:03,359
Speaker 1: you remember saying that?

667
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 4: Yes?

668
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: And you know who knows what it will do to

669
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 1: the future, what will do to life. But what I

670
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 1: love so much about what you said was like, regardless,

671
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: we're kind of bound together because of these kiddos. And

672
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 1: I had never talked to the two of you about

673
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 1: your history. I didn't know how you got together. David

674
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: being a former NFL player and step in on her

675
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 1: foot is maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard. But

676
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 1: you know, when life happens and we start experiencing problems,

677
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: we actually stop exchanging happiness. And when the relationship gets started,

678
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 1: we're very good at exchanging happiness, Like I'll say things like,

679
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: you know, and I really liked it when you did X,

680
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: Y Z, or I really liked it when you did

681
00:39:58,840 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 1: A B or C.

682
00:39:59,480 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 2: Thing like.

683
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: We're very good at exchanging happiness. But when life happens,

684
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: you know, you got kids, and you got rent, and

685
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: you got a job, and you got taxes and you

686
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: got just things to do, we end up talking about

687
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: problems way more than we talk about happiness. We end

688
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: up talking about priorities like who's gonna take the kids

689
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: to such and such appointment? And who's gonna sweep the floor,

690
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,439
Speaker 1: and who's gonna you know, we end up talking about

691
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: life instead of happiness. And what I really enjoyed about

692
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 1: this conversation today is like David and Jaber two happy, witty,

693
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: funny people, And I think when you guys are at

694
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: your best, you're exchanging signs of happiness. And I think

695
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: more recently, life has happened and we're doing that less

696
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: and less, so no matter what happens, Like, if we're

697
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 1: gonna be good for each other and good for these children,

698
00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to redevelop the habit of exchanging happiness.

699
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: So like, like, David, I want you to I want

700
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: you to verbally tell her because to be honest with you,

701
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: and Jay didn't say this, and jaylynf I'm wrong. Feel

702
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: free to yell at me, but I'll bet you I'd

703
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 1: be willing to bet you that somewhere along the way

704
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: Jay forgot whether or not she's important to you. I

705
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: would be willing to bet that somewhere along the way

706
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,479
Speaker 1: she felt less of a priority. And when you say

707
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 1: things like I get joy from making you happy, the

708
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 1: reason she said I would doubt it at first is

709
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: because I think it would scare her to trust that feeling,

710
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: because I think that's something that would really really make

711
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: her feel good. Is it okay? If I say all that,

712
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: Jay does that does that make sense? Okay? So David,

713
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,800
Speaker 1: I need you to remind her that you being happy

714
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:05,280
Speaker 1: makes me happy, like you being happy brings me joy.

715
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: You being happy is important to me because I think

716
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 1: that's always been true. David, I want to be clear.

717
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that's never not been true, but I

718
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: think I think Jay's brain and heart haven't heard it,

719
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: and over the course of time, she starts wondering is

720
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: it true? And that becomes a very hurtful thing. And

721
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: it's very hard to be in relationship with someone that

722
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 1: you don't think experiences happiness through you. Does that make sense, David,

723
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: is that something you think you could do? And you

724
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: you know, I've talked to David a couple of times,

725
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 1: and I don't know that you know how much you

726
00:42:54,880 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: matter to this person, and how much your mood to

727
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: this person, and how much when your mood is negative

728
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: and down and maybe even justifiably so, like I am

729
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: not criticizing your mood, but I am saying you being

730
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 1: his supporter and encourager really matters to him. It lifts

731
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: him up. I think he's stronger because of you, and

732
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 1: I want you to remember that because if the two

733
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: things are true, he likes it when you're happy and

734
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: that brings him joy, then I want you to always

735
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: let him know when you're happy so that that can

736
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: lift him up and drive him. And now we'll have

737
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: a relationship where Jayleen and David are exchanging happiness fluently,

738
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: and there is no possible way your relationship won't become

739
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: stronger when that's happening. What do you think about that?

740
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 2: Yeah?

741
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 4: I think that's cool, but I feel like, how do you?

742
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 4: How do you do that when there's a lot of

743
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,400
Speaker 4: negative things?

744
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: I am so glad you asked that question because I

745
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: want you to remember, no person is all good or

746
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: all bad. So even while there's a lot of negative

747
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: stuff happening, it's my job to see the good and

748
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: accentuate it because that's what I want more of. On

749
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:26,280
Speaker 1: David's worst day, he's got some good in the same

750
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: way that on David's best day he's got some bad.

751
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 1: Your job is to find the good and accentuate it

752
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: because that's what drives him. And we've tried talking about

753
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: the negative things long enough. I just want you to

754
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 1: try it this way between now and the next time

755
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: we meet and see the difference it makes between the

756
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: two of you. Okay, And can I ask you one

757
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: more thing? Both of you, one more thing? Because I

758
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: need to point this out to you. Do you guys

759
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: know how rare it is that you will ask a

760
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: person on a first date. In this case, David asked

761
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: Jayden on a first date. The thing she suggested was

762
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: to go to the park. Do you know how rare

763
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: it is that you will go to do that and

764
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: hit it off? And David said, we spent the whole

765
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:29,919
Speaker 1: day together. Most people, I mean, think about how many

766
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: people if I told you got to go sit on

767
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: a park bench with this other person, Think about how

768
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: many people you'd want to, like choke to get out

769
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: of that situation. You guys went to the park, and

770
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 1: then you went to a sushi lounge, and then you

771
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,800
Speaker 1: went to a movie. You spent the entire day together.

772
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 1: That's who David and Jane are. Because not everybody can

773
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 1: do that, right, That's a special thing you told me.

774
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: When you said it, I was like, what, most people

775
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: can't just hang out like that? And then I asked you.

776
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: I was specific. I said, how long did it take

777
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 1: you guys to turn this into relationship? And you both

778
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: said we spent a ton of time together, so much

779
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: time together that David's friend who's known him since was ten,

780
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: noticed the change in him, like, hey man, this is

781
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: gonna be your lady. That's who David and Jaylen are.

782
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 1: I think you have forgotten and I think negative things

783
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,919
Speaker 1: have happened, and I think life has happened. But that's

784
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:39,240
Speaker 1: who David and Jaylen are. My job is to remind

785
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: you of that, And the best way I can think

786
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: to do that is, I want you, guys to plan

787
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: a date. I want you to plan to spend time

788
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: together doing something that is not at a restaurant. And

789
00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: during this time you spend together, you're not allowed to

790
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 1: talk about the children, past problems, or anything that's about

791
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: adult responsibility. You just have to talk like two people

792
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: who enjoy each other's company, company and happiness. Because I

793
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: think that has been true since the very first date.

794
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: You just forgot And the only way to remind yourselves

795
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 1: of that is to spend time around one another and

796
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: not talk about adulthood and children and responsibilities or past problems.

797
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: Just remember that who David is in his essence is

798
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: someone I actually really like, and who Jaylen is in

799
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: her essence is someone I actually really like. I don't

800
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 1: think we've done that enough. Actually, I think we spend

801
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: too much time talking about life and problems and difficulties

802
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: and frustrations. But there's so much, there's so much clicking

803
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 1: between the two of you that's not being nurtured, and

804
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: I want to help you nurture that. Can I ask

805
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: you guys to.

806
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 4: Do that, as long as we're not going to a restaurant.

807
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: No restaurant. No restaurant, but Jada, I'm actually more concerned

808
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: about gun rangers.

809
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 4: But oh no, we're both official.

810
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But no restaurant. I

811
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 1: want you to go do something. You guys can just

812
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 1: vibe and click and remember, Oh my gosh, I really

813
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,399
Speaker 1: like this person. I just forgot because for so many

814
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 1: years we've we've been dealing with difficulties and talking about

815
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: difficulties and expressing frustration. We got to get back to

816
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: expressing joy and happiness. Okay, but no restaurant. I'm on board.

817
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 4: Unless they have dancing to dance or something like that.

818
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: Okay, do you both dance, Jayalen, don't don't let them

819
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: step on your foot again, though, if you're gonna go

820
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 1: dance with it.

821
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've learned how to navigate around Google.

822
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 2: I can't dance, but I will dance.

823
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:01,720
Speaker 1: I can't dance and I won't dance, but okay, I'm

824
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 1: okay with that exception, as long as you guys stay

825
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 1: after the meal to dance.

826
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 4: Okay.

827
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: The only exception to a restaurant is if it includes dancing.

828
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: Other than that, no restaurant. And I want you to

829
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 1: do this before we meet next time because I need

830
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: to ask you some questions about what it's like to

831
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: reconnect on who David and Jade actually are.

832
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, so before we meet next time next week.

833
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter to me if it lasts ten minutes

834
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 1: or ten hours. I don't care.

835
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 4: Okay, the only thing he's thinking about is the super bowling.

836
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 4: But we gonna figure it out, thank you, Jay, all.

837
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, we'll figure it out.

838
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,280
Speaker 1: You know, if I could say a word to Jay

839
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: and David or anyone who finds themselves in a relationship

840
00:49:55,880 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 1: similar to where we met, Jay and I would say

841
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: life should be lived. Adulthood is really difficult because we

842
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: end up focusing on like tasks, paying bills, child rearing,

843
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: going to work, and we forget that like life is

844
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: supposed to be lived. There should be fun, excitement, humor.

845
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 1: Things should be happening in life that cause you excitement.

846
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 1: So yes, like you got to heal and difficult and

847
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: bad things are going to happen. But the most important

848
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: thing in life and certainly in relationships, is making sure

849
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: you are living, making sure you are spending time being active,

850
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: making sure you are spending time being a whole person

851
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 1: and not just being overwhelmed by the responsibilities of adulthood.

852
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,760
Speaker 1: If you are in a relationship that is not working,

853
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 1: the first question I want you to ask yourself is

854
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: what could you do differently to have an impact on

855
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: the satisfaction of that relationship without even including your partner.

856
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: For example, if you're in a relationship and you're feeling

857
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: very stagnant it's not working, could you ask that partner

858
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: out on a date night. Could you do something to

859
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: make your partner smile? Could you present them with a gift?

860
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 1: Could you do a chore for them that you know

861
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 1: really matters?

862
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: Like?

863
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 1: What action could you take to make a difference?

864
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 2: Now?

865
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: If you find yourself showing up and doing those things

866
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: often and nothing seems to be creating change and there's

867
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 1: nothing going on differently in the relationship in spite of

868
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: your attempts, then that's the first clue or indicator that

869
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: the relationship you're in might not be healthy. And I'd

870
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:54,879
Speaker 1: like you to.

871
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:55,399
Speaker 2: Assess that.

872
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 1: This is not just a podcast that I want you

873
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 1: to consume and be entertained by. I actually want you

874
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: to be inspired. I want you to be impacted by this,

875
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: and in fact, we can't help but be impacted by

876
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 1: the content we consume. So what I would like for

877
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: you to do is come on this healing journey with us.

878
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: Come on this journey of change rediscovery with us. And

879
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 1: the way to do that is to just pay attention

880
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 1: to the things going on in your life as a

881
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: consequence of listening to this podcast. Pay attention to things

882
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: in your life shifting in a more desirable way. Pay

883
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: attention to your desirable outcome becoming your reality. Pay attention

884
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: to evidence of your success, your resilience, and your strength.

885
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Speaker 1: And let us know in the comments what you're noticing

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Speaker 1: in your life as a result of listening to this

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Speaker 1: podcast and as a result of paying attention to these things.

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Speaker 1: I would love to hear from you about your healing journey,

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Speaker 1: your family, and your feedback. Leave a review, send a DM,

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Speaker 1: connect with me on socials at Elliott Speaks, and you

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Speaker 1: can also say me a text message to nine seventy

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Speaker 1: two four two six two six four zero. Family Therapy

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Podcast

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Speaker 1: Network special thanks to our assistant Glendale Seppe. It's produced

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Speaker 1: by Jack Quish Thomas and the executive producer Dolly S.

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Speaker 1: S fisherm For more podcasts from The Black Effect, visit

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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Speaker 1: The content presented on The Family Therapy Podcast serves solely

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Speaker 1: for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered

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Speaker 1: a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance and

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Speaker 1: does not constitute a provider patient relationship. It is advisable

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Speaker 1: to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for

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Speaker 1: any specific concerns or questions you may have.