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Speaker 1: All right, Scott, are you ready for this one?

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Speaker 2: I can't wait for this one.

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Speaker 1: This toilet recognizes your butthole and uploads photos to the cloud.

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Speaker 3: That's bananas, I.

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Speaker 4: Do world of its head?

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Speaker 3: Would you believe.

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Speaker 4: It's not my tzillion pieces bananas banana.

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Speaker 1: Bana, baby bananas ba It's I mean, that is just

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Speaker 1: the whole title.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I actually also selected that one, So I selected

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Speaker 3: two backup ones because I was sure that we were

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Speaker 3: both going to have that one, and oh god, I

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Speaker 3: love it.

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Speaker 2: But anyways, I'm Scotty Landers.

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Speaker 1: And I am Kurt Brownler. Welcome to Bananas, a podcast

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Speaker 1: about strange, fascinating and wonderful news. Really just about how

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Speaker 1: absurd our planet is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really true.

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Speaker 3: And today we are fortunate enough to have our second

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Speaker 3: guest on our second episode, the Queen Bee herself, Georgia

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Speaker 3: hart Starks here.

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Speaker 5: Hi, Hi, guys, we thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excitante.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 3: We're excited to be the joyful, not deathy part of

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Speaker 3: the exactly right family.

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Speaker 5: You guys bring some right, you bring smiles instead of

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Speaker 5: tears to the family.

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Speaker 1: If it's dumb, we're going to talk about it.

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Speaker 2: That's right. And yeah, so on the show.

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Speaker 3: We just take the real stories and these are all true,

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Speaker 3: and then if there's anything that this reminds you of

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Speaker 3: in your life, that's what we're all about. That's what

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Speaker 3: we're all about.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I'm good.

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Speaker 5: I'm surrounded by cats, which is my natural state, and

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Speaker 5: I know I'm a homebody, so it doesn't feel that

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Speaker 5: different yet.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, and I'm the same way, like as a writer,

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Speaker 3: I sit alone in my house for hours every day,

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Speaker 3: so yeah, yeah, it feels a little a little similar.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the inside of the walls, very nice, outside

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Speaker 3: the walls, total healthscape, yes, but yeah, doing our best.

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Speaker 1: It would be very normal for me other than not

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Speaker 1: having childcare. And I'm not complaining about having two fantastic,

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Speaker 1: adorable children, but they are here all the time. They

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Speaker 1: don't go anywhere.

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Speaker 5: No, No, you can't send them on a walk for

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Speaker 5: some alone time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I got to record a podcast to

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Speaker 1: my wife, I'm so sorry, Lauren, and she's just like

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Speaker 1: you fucking yeah.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like what's happening with me

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Speaker 5: and Scottie in Quarantine is a completely different planet than

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Speaker 5: what's happening with you and people with children it's not.

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Speaker 5: We're not experiencing the same world event at all.

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Speaker 1: We really are not. And there's and there's drawbacks and

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Speaker 1: and and positives to both, but they are we are

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Speaker 1: in two separate universes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a drink, Yeah I am too.

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Speaker 1: No, man, I wish I could. I wish I could

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Speaker 1: have a drink right now.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we're drinking.

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Speaker 3: It's airport rules. I mean, you can time a day.

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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 5: It's three o'clock and I was stressed out and I

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Speaker 5: was going to talk to you two. And I don't

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Speaker 5: think I've ever spoken to either of you without a

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Speaker 5: drink in my hands.

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Speaker 2: That's for sure true.

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Speaker 5: That's definitely true.

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Speaker 3: It is weird, that is true. Yeah, there's a weird

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Speaker 3: thing where I run into Georgia and Vince more than

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Speaker 3: any other people in Los Angeles, like regularly, right, like

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Speaker 3: weirdly lunches, Weirdly.

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Speaker 5: We were at we were at like what's what's Musso

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Speaker 5: and Frank, which is like a Hollywood institution. I was

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Speaker 5: there with my family and in Walks Scott. It was

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Speaker 5: just it was very It's it's weird.

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Speaker 3: The podcaster writing lifestyle where by two pm you just

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Speaker 3: have nothing to do. So you just go find a beverage.

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Speaker 3: I guess, all right, Kurt, tell us about these butt

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Speaker 3: these butt prints. I love it.

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Speaker 1: So again, let me just remind you of the title

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Speaker 1: of an actual article on Mashable. This toilet recognizes your

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Speaker 1: butthole and uploads photos to the cloud. It's by Jack Morse.

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Speaker 1: It was published on the seventh of April twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: Stanford scientists wants you to boldly go where no one

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Speaker 1: has gone before and sit on this camera laiden toilet

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Speaker 1: that scans and recognizes your anal prints. So it's like

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Speaker 1: multiple there's like a picture of it. So I read

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Speaker 1: the article. You kind of have to so it needs

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Speaker 1: to verify that it's you. So in order to use

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Speaker 1: this toilet, you have to put you have to have

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Speaker 1: a thumb scan like to so that they know it's

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Speaker 1: your butthole. But then using a deep learn okaying, a

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Speaker 1: deep learn model. So this is like an artificially intelligent

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Speaker 1: toilet that then takes pictures of your butthole and of

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Speaker 1: your stool and creates a anal print scan. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's amazing, and you.

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Speaker 5: Can rich people. Rich people are so this isn't so bored.

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Speaker 1: I don't think this is just for rich people who

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Speaker 1: want pictures of their butthole.

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Speaker 5: George sounds expensive.

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Speaker 2: It does sound expensive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's for a study on like what you eat

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Speaker 1: and just like like it's it's to figure out like

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Speaker 1: what's going on with America's collective health. Essentially.

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Speaker 3: I'm reading it right now too. I'm reading this article

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Speaker 3: right now and it says end quote. We know it

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Speaker 3: sounds weird, but as it turns out, your anal print

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Speaker 3: is unique thing. I mean amazing. Yeah, people don't really

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Speaker 3: realize that. But unlike wearables, you can't take it off.

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Speaker 3: Everyone uses the bathroom. There's really no avoiding it.

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Speaker 5: Do you guys think that they're essential workers and they're

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Speaker 5: still doing their job right now, or do you think

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Speaker 5: they're they've been furloughed.

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Speaker 1: I mean they're just getting anal print scans left and right,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, so they can work from home.

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Speaker 1: They're just getting anal print scans emailed in. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: imagine that that's your job, that you just have to

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Speaker 1: look at butthole photos every day.

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Speaker 5: Purpose. I mean, there's people who choose to do that

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Speaker 5: fine exactly, but.

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Speaker 1: Us is, Yeah, you're getting paid to do it.

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Speaker 3: All right, so I guess this is Oh yeah, you're

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Speaker 3: getting paid for the study. But are they thinking this

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Speaker 3: is a thing that's going to be a household item

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Speaker 3: in the future, Like, is this your Apple Watch of

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Speaker 3: the future, so it monitors what's going on inside your

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Speaker 3: life and body?

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The last paragraph is this toilet system is expected to

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Speaker 1: have a major impact on health monitoring research as the

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Speaker 1: toilet enables longitudinal monitoring of human health with minimal interference

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Speaker 1: of human behavior.

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Speaker 5: It sounds pretty interfering. It doesn't sound minimal.

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Speaker 3: Straight up.

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Speaker 1: Photos of your butthole are the definition of interfering.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, are they where they make it? I know

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Speaker 3: it's Stanford, But are they use Japanese toilets? Because like,

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Speaker 3: I feel like like toilets already are like ninety eight

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Speaker 3: percent of the way there for this, it's the.

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Speaker 1: Most incredible to look like a It kind of looks

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Speaker 1: like a Japanese toilet. Yeah, oh man. They also have

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Speaker 1: pictures like they have a like a diagram of someone's butthole. No, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of but it's all done very science y honestly.

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Speaker 1: You know what, guys, I would love this. I would

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Speaker 1: love this. I would use it I mean, yeah, oftentimes

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, what's going on with my fucking body?

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Speaker 1: Because I don't understand what's happening.

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Speaker 5: I feel like you would make everyone in your house

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Speaker 5: use it, and you'd like, Lauren, you're not eating enough fiber.

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Speaker 5: She's like, would you stop?

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Speaker 3: I know that's true too. How do you get the

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Speaker 3: do you get a text message? And like, I just

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Speaker 3: want the list of like what this is going to

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Speaker 3: be in the future, like like do you you get emojis?

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Speaker 3: I'm just curious now that we're all going to become

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Speaker 3: some phone based and like everybody's just even with what's

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Speaker 3: going on right now, everybody's so separated. It's like you're

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Speaker 3: just gonna be hanging out one day and your phone's

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Speaker 3: gonna buzz and it's gonna tell you what your anal

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Speaker 3: prints up to.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, or everyone in your contacts lists, or like guess

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Speaker 5: what Kathy got a great b had a ninety nine percentile?

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Speaker 5: Isn't the ninety nine percentile?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Assholes?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, that's a good one to started off with.

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Speaker 1: What do you got for me?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I got a real quick one, but again, the

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Speaker 3: title just got me so good. So this one is

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Speaker 3: actually from Z one oh seven point seven FM. No author,

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Speaker 3: just a report.

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Speaker 1: Probably a producer put it up Z one oh seven

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Speaker 1: FM called the Rock because I imagine it's called the rock

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Speaker 1: in Toronto.

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Speaker 3: I know those poor guys. I used to want to

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Speaker 3: be a radio DJ so bad when I was a kid.

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Speaker 3: And then everybody I know that was like, there was

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Speaker 3: a guy in college who was the local rock guy

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Speaker 3: and he lived above my friends, and he was like,

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Speaker 3: it sucks, man, they put all the playlists.

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Speaker 2: You don't get paid.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I get nineteen bucks an hour. He's like,

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Speaker 3: I thought I was gonna be able to like pick

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Speaker 3: music and build fans, and all I do is like

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Speaker 3: just play what they want me to play.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, that's heartbreaking.

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Speaker 1: And how old were you when he was like destroying

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Speaker 1: your dreams at nineteen?

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Speaker 3: I was nineteen years old. But honestly he skewed me

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Speaker 3: in a great direction. I'm glad he did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and he could be in living in Buffalo, no offense,

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Speaker 5: Buffalo no and like Buffalo on a you know, radio

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Speaker 5: station making nineteen dollars an hour right now.

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Speaker 1: I know, Well, did you ever work at the like

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Speaker 1: the college radio station or anything? Georgia.

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Speaker 5: No, because I barely went to college, although I went

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Speaker 5: to Santa Monica City College where. Oh fuck, what's the

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Speaker 5: station is it?

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Speaker 3: Keith Jeeves?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, they right were like it was a good station,

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Speaker 5: so like they wouldn't have taken me anyways.

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Speaker 1: He was like a pretty good taste in music. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a very college y taste as well.

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Speaker 5: It is, thank you. No, I never did it though,

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Speaker 5: too bad?

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Speaker 3: Well Z one oh seven point seven FM. Here, I'm

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Speaker 3: just going to read it, and it was also all

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Speaker 3: in caps, so I'm going to read it slightly in caps.

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Speaker 3: Another load of carrots dumped in the Marongo Basin. Okay, so,

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Speaker 3: for the third time in two months, a semi trailer

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Speaker 3: hauling carrots overturned its load in the Morongo Basin. Sorry,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Read it again? Yeah, yeah, it's again.

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Speaker 3: For the third time in two months. Oh man, a

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Speaker 3: semi trailer hauling carrots overturned its load in the Marongo Basin. Monday,

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Speaker 3: A truck pulling two trailers of carrots was driving north

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Speaker 3: bout on Old Woman Springs Road at about one thirty

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Speaker 3: pm and when a black sedan traveling southbound crossed the

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Speaker 3: double lines into the truck's lane near Aberdeen Drive. The

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Speaker 3: semi crossed to the shoulder and the second trailer overturned,

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Speaker 3: spilling carrots all over the road into the desert. Now

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Speaker 3: this is already a fun.

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Speaker 2: Story, but.

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Speaker 3: So while sheriffs are While deputies are at the scene

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Speaker 3: investigating the crash, another driver traveling southbound on Old Woman

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Speaker 3: Spring was distracted by the carrots and failed to stop

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Speaker 3: and drove straight into the sheriff's patrol car that was

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Speaker 3: parked on the No.

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Speaker 2: There were no injuries in either.

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Speaker 3: Crash, but Coltrans responded to the scene to clean up

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Speaker 3: the carrots. Happened on March twentieth. It happened on February third.

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Speaker 5: It's the same guy, Dwayne.

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Speaker 3: I know, no fired, I know. It's unbelievable, man, Dwayne.

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Speaker 1: I love to dum carrots Morongo.

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Speaker 5: Wayne, the carrot carrot Johnson. That's me.

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Speaker 3: What's the rush? Who's ever been?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: Where are these fucking carrots? Oh God, I was laughing

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Speaker 3: so hard I saw this because like.

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Speaker 5: That's so good.

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Speaker 3: It just keeps happening Old Woman Springs.

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Speaker 2: These trips are just haul and carrots.

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Speaker 5: The fact that it was the third time, you know,

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Speaker 5: and not the first.

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Speaker 1: It's it's beauty, like that's yeah. I mean, like, there's

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Speaker 1: no way somebody's dumping these carrots on purpose at the

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Speaker 1: same place, But that is that coincidence, to me is

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Speaker 1: so beautiful. It's it's more beautiful than, like than the

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Speaker 1: proven existence of God, Like if you could prove it

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Speaker 1: is essentially proving God does exist that it is got

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Speaker 1: dumped in the same place three times in two months.

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Speaker 5: It's joyful. It's it's like the absurdity of life where

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Speaker 5: you're like, yeah, I knew it. God's funny because no

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Speaker 5: one got hurt. If someone got hurt, otherwise.

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Speaker 3: Heard somebody was so distracted by the carriage they crashed

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Speaker 3: into a cop car, which is incredible.

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Speaker 5: And this is why you have to pull off the

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Speaker 5: freeway when you have a flat tire or something. But

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Speaker 5: if I can have anxiety written Georgia Corner for a minute.

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Speaker 3: That's good pull over.

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Speaker 5: To get off the freeway.

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Speaker 1: I once had a panic attack while driving on It's

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Speaker 1: my only the only panic attack I've ever had in

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Speaker 1: my entire life. And it was while I was driving

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Speaker 1: from Boston to New York City and it just kept

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Speaker 1: happening and happening to the point where I finally had

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Speaker 1: to pull over and just get a hotel for the

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Speaker 1: night and just like sleep because I couldn't continue to drive.

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Speaker 1: It was the most insane thing. And I'd never had

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Speaker 1: a panic attack before, and if you've ever had one,

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Speaker 1: you feel like you're having like a heart attack, and

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Speaker 1: you feel like you're going crazy, like like my vision

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Speaker 1: was double and stuff. So I had no idea what

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Speaker 1: was going on.

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Speaker 5: I really at the beginning of this, I was like,

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Speaker 5: I've got the coronavirus. I can't breathe. I can't breathe,

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Speaker 5: And then for like days and then I was like, no,

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Speaker 5: you're having just a low level, constant panic attacks, right,

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Speaker 5: and that's why I'm drinking at three.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that disinfects your lungs. It's fine. That just

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Speaker 2: intrucks yoursof I guess the whole way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeh yeah, yeah, oh it is.

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Speaker 1: But it is when you wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 1: you're just like, oh, no, do I have coronavirus. Then

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Speaker 1: by like noon you're like, oh no, I was just hungover.

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Speaker 2: I was just hungover.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a headache and am nauseous, two symptoms

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Speaker 3: that aren't one time. I so I like to do

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Speaker 3: road trips by myself. It's like something I do every

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Speaker 3: few years. So interesting, and it's an advantage of, you know,

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Speaker 3: being a tall, white dude where people are just like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: go wherever you want, man.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. I'd like to say thank you for

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Speaker 5: acknowledging that.

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Speaker 3: But I know that is very much the case, and

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Speaker 3: so every single one I've ever been on and currently

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Speaker 3: I've been on a couple too. Actually, we drove a

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Speaker 3: giant butter across the country once.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone listening that there was a ten foot tall,

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Speaker 1: twenty foot long butt that we drove on a semi

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Speaker 1: trailer truck bed h across America.

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Speaker 2: All normal and still in Virginia.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Do you want their credentials as to why they are

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Speaker 5: allowed to have a weird news show?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 5: But is the credentials but alone?

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Speaker 3: The love butt alone hashtag the love butt still exists

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Speaker 3: on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: You can go and you can go see it in

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Speaker 1: person at the i X Art Park in Charlottesville, Virginia.

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Speaker 3: People take to this day.

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Speaker 5: Still exists.

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Speaker 1: It also was never meant to like be in the

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Speaker 1: elements because it's like.

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Speaker 5: Like paper mache.

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Speaker 1: And it's made of like styrofoam inside, but then coded

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Speaker 1: in this like specific like rubber that the company will tag.

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Speaker 1: Every once in a while, the company will tag me

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Speaker 1: in an Instagram post like VX rubber compound.

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Speaker 5: Perfect our kurts. But what if it got the butt

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Speaker 5: got scanned. There's a joke there. I don't think there's

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Speaker 5: a there time too, but I can't.

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Speaker 3: Every single time I've ever done one, there's always like

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Speaker 3: something interesting that happens on the actual highways, like on

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Speaker 3: the road. And I was I believe in this thing

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Speaker 3: where you get like one sort of warning shot in life,

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Speaker 3: like everybody's at a poll party, lightning strikes once and

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Speaker 3: that's when you get.

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Speaker 2: Out of the pool, and then it doesn't. It's a tragedy.

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Speaker 3: Or there's always sort of that one like nudge that's

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Speaker 3: like the deck's rocking a lot. Maybe we get off

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Speaker 3: this and then a frat house that collapses.

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Speaker 5: I won't go on. I will not go on a

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Speaker 5: balcony at a party. Good or a deck period.

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Speaker 3: Move smart, move, Yeah you're not missing out stand in

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Speaker 3: the kitchen near the sink and the exit.

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Speaker 2: Normal person us.

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Speaker 3: So one night I'm driving and I had one of

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Speaker 3: those I never fall asleep. I'm just like not at

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Speaker 3: the wheeler. I never even doze off, No moments like that.

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Speaker 3: But like one night I was driving and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I can stop in this town. It was probably around midnight,

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Speaker 3: or I can push it for another hour, get to

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Speaker 3: a bigger city and stay at a better hotel.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, I'll push it.

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Speaker 3: Which was sort of my one warning shot that I

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Speaker 3: should have paid attention to myself. And I'm going I

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Speaker 3: don't know, eighty five on seventy, and I'm looking in

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Speaker 3: the distance and I'm like, what the hell is in

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Speaker 3: the road. I'm like, there's definitely something in the road

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Speaker 3: up there, or I'm like hallucinating from being.

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Speaker 2: So tired, and I get closer to it.

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Speaker 3: I get closer to it, and I realized that a

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Speaker 3: truck is turned over a semi and that all of

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Speaker 3: the all of its contents have dumped across all the

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Speaker 3: lanes of the highway.

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Speaker 2: And I'm going so fast.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like the first car to get there because

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Speaker 3: it's late at night, and it was vertical blinds no, it.

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Speaker 5: Was like wait, that was like a euphemism, and I

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Speaker 5: didn't get it over.

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Speaker 3: Like it was. I would say, fifty yards of vertical

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Speaker 3: blinds that my rental car was going over at eighty

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Speaker 3: miles an hour. They were spitting out the side like

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Speaker 3: just like gun, I was just shooting vertical blinds. I

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Speaker 3: saw the truck the trailer. The tractor was up, the

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Speaker 3: trailer was tipped over, but like, I don't know, Lowser

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Speaker 3: Home depot or somebody just lost fifty tons of vertical blinds.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like, you don't know what you're

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Speaker 3: looking at. But then I'm like, I just couldn't break

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Speaker 3: or I thought I was going to three sixty and crash,

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Speaker 3: so I just gunned it and went past. I just

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Speaker 3: went past, yeah, because it was like I couldn't hit

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Speaker 3: the brakes. And then once you're by it, you feel

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Speaker 3: like breaking and pulling over. Like you're saying, like being

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Speaker 3: on the shoulder of the highway, I felt like that

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Speaker 3: would be more of a problem.

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Speaker 5: Yes, but yes it don't be a hero.

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Speaker 2: No, it's got the time. But it was one of

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Speaker 2: the most like.

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Speaker 3: Surrell, what are you to do?

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Speaker 1: Stop and start picking up five thousand vertical blighted?

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Speaker 3: I got it. It felt like ice. It was God,

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Speaker 3: it was so funny. And then this was like a

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Speaker 3: little before. This was when cell phones were a thing,

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Speaker 3: but smartphones weren't, so it wasn't like I could take

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Speaker 3: a picture and send it to anybody. I just had

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Speaker 3: to live with it until I got to the next

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Speaker 3: to the next day. But it was so surreal creepy.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, No, carrots carts would have been fun too.

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Speaker 3: What you got, You got anything good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I got two little short ones. They're both coronavirus themed. No,

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Speaker 1: I know we're keeping our minds off of it, but

401
00:18:55,600 --> 00:19:01,920
Speaker 1: I think these will be pretty funny. This is I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to give you the two titles of these.

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00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 1: All right. This is from the Battle Creek Inquirer. All right,

404
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 1: Nick Buckley wrote this one police and fire colon man

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Speaker 1: wearing Thong underwear as coronavirus mask assaults man who mocked him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Wait, let's take Can we take that apart bit by

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00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 5: bit because I'm so confused?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because.

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Speaker 5: I got Joe ex Is wearing.

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00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 1: Now. The victim fifty seven, said he was in his

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Speaker 1: home in the first block of Lake Front Drive about

413
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Speaker 1: seven pm Monday when the suspect came to his home

414
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Speaker 1: wearing thong underwear over his face, apparently as protection from

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Speaker 1: the coronavirus, and the victim told the suspect it looks

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Speaker 1: like thongs he had laying around his house, which upset

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Speaker 1: the suspect. The guy left and then came back forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes later and didn't beat the shit out of

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Speaker 1: the guy.

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Speaker 5: Oh too close.

421
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Speaker 1: But like the idea that he left for forty five

422
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: minutes and was just steaming, just steaming, just not a thong,

423
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: Like it's obviously it is a thong. He was wearing

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Speaker 1: a thong over his mouth, but he's like, oh man,

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00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 1: it's not a thong. And then Aaron could come back.

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Speaker 5: How dairy. No one wants to get I think getting

427
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 5: beat up right now is like the worst possible scenario. Yes,

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Speaker 5: and it seems possible because the grocery stores are just

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Speaker 5: it's full of crazy people.

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Speaker 1: Oh it really does. It's it's like every time I

431
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Speaker 1: go to the grocery store, it's such a panic attack.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, tensions are high.

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Speaker 1: Tensions are real high. And I'm just trying to everyone

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Speaker 1: seems stupid, like yeah, they're all like just doing dumb

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Speaker 1: stuff and I'm like, get away from me, yeah, get

436
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Speaker 1: my stuff.

437
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Speaker 5: So quickly, elbows are flying.

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Speaker 3: It's cool that, like every adult in your life, every

439
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,959
Speaker 3: parent or cop or teacher, whenever you're furious, they just

440
00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 3: like walk.

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Speaker 2: Away, counts to ten.

442
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 3: It's always like time. He usually calms people amps it up.

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00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 3: I like to think this guy was like a reverse

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00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 3: bell curve, like got calmer and then just worked himself

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00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 3: back up, like he just got crazier and crazier.

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Speaker 1: Think about those thirty minutes of him like walking around

447
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: in his house by himself with thong underwear over his face,

448
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 1: just being like, it's not a thong, it's not a thong.

449
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 5: Half in those fumes from the thong.

450
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 2: I haven't I've been hiding.

451
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 3: I haven't left my house in twenty five days really,

452
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 3: so like I haven't been interacting, but I A friend

453
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 3: of mine said that the drive through person at In

454
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,360
Speaker 3: and Out, I guess the lines have been like super

455
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: long at fast food places, was wearing a child's birthday

456
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 3: party cone hat as their breather.

457
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 5: No, that's not what you want to see when you're

458
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 5: accepting food from someone.

459
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like that focuses into a laser virus too,

460
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 3: like it comes out the little top.

461
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, all the good bacteria.

462
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: But also he probably looked like a bird, kind of

463
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: looked like a fun bird. Yeah, and then this is

464
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,120
Speaker 1: just another short one.

465
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 2: Give me a shorty. I love a shorty.

466
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: This is the best man Louisiana. This is from Indy

467
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: Wire by Zach Sharf, April seventh to twenty. Louisiana police

468
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: apologize for using the Purge siren to coronavirus curfew.

469
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 5: No, why are they apologizing?

470
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 2: Oh good God?

471
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: How could you not know it was from the Purge?

472
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 5: Sound like, I don't know it.

473
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 3: It's a really good one.

474
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 2: Yes, please here, here you go. Mm hmm, that's it.

475
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 5: That's just a siren.

476
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 3: We'll I repeat that. But yeah, it's like a long

477
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 3: one and starts at sundown. Man, I wish i'd written

478
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 3: the Purge.

479
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: Oh.

480
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 3: When I first saw that movie, I was like, this

481
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 3: is such a great idea, and it's that tension. Guys

482
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: are talking about the grocery store. It's like or the

483
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 3: thong face who gets punched the Urge being like, yeah,

484
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: you can kill that guy if you just wait until

485
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 3: this one day.

486
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 5: Can I tell you? I haven't seen it yet, and

487
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 5: now I'm so excited to go watch it.

488
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: I know I have not seen it either, and I

489
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: think it's time to start watching it. I see, I

490
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: just don't watch horror movies at all ever, But I

491
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: feel like, is it more of like a fun.

492
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 3: Thriller trailer it's not paranormal no spoilers.

493
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,880
Speaker 5: Here, but kind of like Watchmen.

494
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 3: E yeah, if you like, and even like less even

495
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 3: less science fiction than Watchmen. It's basically and this is

496
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 3: in the trailer, no spoilers, there's one day a year

497
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: or one night a year where anything's legal anything. You

498
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: can just kill people, you can rob people, you can

499
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 3: do anything you want, and then what it's done is

500
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 3: there's no crime and the rest of it, like the

501
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 3: rest of your people, just get all their aggression outs.

502
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 3: So if you hate your stepfather or your neighbor drives

503
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 3: you nuts, you can chop them up with a machete

504
00:23:59,280 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 3: if you want.

505
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: But there a group. But is there a group that

506
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: just like like fucking shoots Heroin and fucks each other

507
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: at the wal Mart or something?

508
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: Greatest question?

509
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 3: The greatest question because the Purge movie franchise is missing

510
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 3: out on those crimes. It's all shooting and murdering and killing.

511
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,959
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna be everything's legal. I'm getting I'm getting Heroin.

512
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 5: There's your movie, Yeah for sure.

513
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just ripping tags off of pillows, mattresses and stuff.

514
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 2: I'm going loco.

515
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: I can go to assirt of Sleeper. On that note,

516
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be

517
00:24:35,680 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 1: right back with more Georgia Hardstark on bananas. All right,

518
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: we're back in guys.

519
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm loving it.

520
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 3: We're loving it. I'm still saying, watch the Purge.

521
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: We're back. I'm saying, watch the Purge. Do you think

522
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 2: he's I know, we should.

523
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,479
Speaker 3: Have a siren as Scotty.

524
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 1: What you got for me?

525
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 3: Okay, this was gonna be my closer, but I'm going

526
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 3: to just jump to this one. And I don't like,

527
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: excuse me, I don't like uh blue blue things. And

528
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 3: I know we already mentioned a toilet anal print in

529
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 3: this episode. But this guy, So this is from Travel Reporter.

530
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 3: There's no writer for it. Recent article. The title is

531
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 3: this guy is the sassiest Airbnb host of all time.

532
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 3: So there's this guy named Robert in l A and

533
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 3: this twitter, this like Twitter user found his reviews, and

534
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 3: basically every time anybody critiques Robert's room, for rent. He

535
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 3: goes ballistic on them and writes these insane reviews. And

536
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 3: I use Aaron b almost exclusively now, like I barely

537
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: stay in hotels anymore. I love airbnbs, but I've gotten

538
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 3: pretty good at like scanning through them, and you know,

539
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 3: I can like look at the photos and be like,

540
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 3: this is real, this is fac This person's crazy.

541
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 5: Don't run a room from that.

542
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're lying.

543
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 3: So Robert goes into minute detail of each of his

544
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 3: guests hygiene habits and is less than flattering or discussing

545
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: their bowel movements.

546
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: And those are the good reviews.

547
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 3: What when it comes to giving his guests what we

548
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: would call constructive criticism, he lets it rip, leaving nothing

549
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 3: to the imagination. So I'm going to read you three

550
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 3: of these, and I apologize because I'm going to read

551
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 3: them word for word and I'll take a minute, but god,

552
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 3: these are so good. Robert La. This is from a

553
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 3: Japanese tourist. This place is suitable for excuse me, this

554
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: is the review. This is the review of Robert's place

555
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 3: that Robert responds to. This place is suitable for traveling

556
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 3: in La. It takes about ten minutes to the station

557
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 3: and there's no washer in the house, but you can

558
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 3: use near laundry. It takes about five minutes by walking.

559
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 2: That's the review.

560
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 5: Positive. Positive.

561
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 3: Oh it seems like a positive review. Yeah, here's the response.

562
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with doing laundry on vacation.

563
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 3: Hey sure in another country, big deal. Oh no, we

564
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 3: got it, and we're gonna come back to the Actually

565
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 3: just jump in. Well, I'll read Roberts first one, but

566
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 3: we're gonna come back to that because Kurt did his

567
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 3: laundry once and the wrong thing in Scotland.

568
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to hear this.

569
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 3: So here's Robert's response to that totally normal review. I

570
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: helped check your I helped you check in early with

571
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 3: your million bags. I carried your bags for you. You

572
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 3: left my place a mess, your hair was everywhere, left

573
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 3: the kitchen in a mess with old food and dirty dishes.

574
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 3: You plug the toilet it ran over. Okay wow, So

575
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 3: that's wow.

576
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 2: One of his sweeter ones.

577
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 5: Would for a positive review.

578
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: And this is all on Airbnb, right, this is.

579
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 3: The reviews, and I'm having I grab screen grabs from Airbnb,

580
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: so these are actual reviews. Oh wow, Okay.

581
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 5: Well, vengeful people sometimes not me, but.

582
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: No, online when you watch their like insanity play out,

583
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: where you're just like, you're not changing anything, you're making

584
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: it all worse.

585
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 3: But whatever's wrong with me makes me want to stay

586
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 3: at his place. Now, we'll talk about that after. Okay, okay,

587
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 3: here's another review about Robert's room. The apartment is a

588
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 3: lot older than what it appears in the pictures, and

589
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 3: that was the biggest issue. It's not what you expect

590
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: from the pictures. The sheets and towels are older, and

591
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 3: the beds are not comfortable. The toilet was dirty, in

592
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 3: the kitchen was a mess. There were also dishes to dry,

593
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 3: no space for anything. Okay, here comes Roberts, but here

594
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 3: comes Robert. Based on a more negative review response from Robert,

595
00:28:54,280 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 3: you live like a pig. You left my place like

596
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 3: a pig pen. You and your friends are the dirtiest

597
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 3: people I've ever seen. Dirt was everywhere in my place.

598
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 3: Whiskey bottles, drug paraphernalia, use condoms, marijuana, smoke, cigarette smoke

599
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 3: all livered my place. You just hang out my place.

600
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 3: You smoke in my bed and burned my comforters. If

601
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: you left a day's old stool in the toilet, all

602
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 3: you had to do was flush the toilet. But but no,

603
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 3: you and your friends are drug induced animals. You destroyed

604
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 3: my peopiful place.

605
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 5: Wow. He doesn't sound wrong.

606
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: Oh God, but I imagine, I imagine because all of

607
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: his reviews seem to end with something about shit in

608
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: a toilet. Yeah, I'm imagining that when the person leaves,

609
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: Robert does all of this stuff himself and then like

610
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: looks at it all. It is like you're an animal,

611
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: Like it's all about Robert.

612
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: Dude.

613
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, he burns.

614
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: In the toilet.

615
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a shame thing.

616
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 5: That's crazy.

617
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Georgia, what we're saying.

618
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 5: Sorry, no, please keep going.

619
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna all cut out the bathroom content in

620
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 3: this next response from Robert, and we'll just get to

621
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 3: this is a review for Robert's room.

622
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: Not a great room.

623
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 3: That's it.

624
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: Here's what Robert had to say about not a great room.

625
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 3: Not a great guest. He lives like a dog and

626
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 3: smells like one, too, leaving the room smelling awful. He

627
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 3: left my He left my white sheets black, as if

628
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 3: you've rolled them in mud. I'm gonna skip all the

629
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 3: bathroom stuff because there's a lot. Wow, this guy is filthy.

630
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: He lives like an untrained dog. The smell he left

631
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 3: lingered for days, had to have a professional cleaning team

632
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 3: come after, and cost two hundred dollars. Not a great guest.

633
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 3: Hosts don't rent to this beast. Not a great guest,

634
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 3: but a beast that will destroy your place and cost

635
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 3: you money.

636
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 5: Oh man, I've stayed in places that had cockroach literally

637
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 5: cockroaches under the bed and the sheets clearly had been

638
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,479
Speaker 5: not changed after the last guest. Yes, there was one

639
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 5: where I got the airplane in New York and they

640
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 5: were like, hey, the toilet's not working, so just pee

641
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 5: in the bathtub. And I still left them five star reviews,

642
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 5: like I wouldn't. It's almost like I'm less likely to

643
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 5: leave a bad review if something's actually bad because I'm

644
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 5: scared of.

645
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: Oh I've had for some reason, I've had I've had

646
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: good experiences with Airbnb, but I have had three awful ones.

647
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've had both had.

648
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: I had one where we were staying in Paris. We

649
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: Airbnb and this was right when Airbnb started. And uh,

650
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: first off, like we get there and it just like

651
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: she had just been smoking in bedcoms for years, you know.

652
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: But it was like whatever.

653
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: We're in Paris. It's romantic, like second date, do you

654
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I was like our second date,

655
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 1: we went to Paris.

656
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 3: Not normal.

657
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: It's a long story, I know. But while we were

658
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: staying there, we like stayed there one night. We woke

659
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: up the next day to an email from the woman

660
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,479
Speaker 1: just saying, I will be coming back and staying with

661
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: you tonight. Do not worry. I am small. I will

662
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: sleep by the fireplace.

663
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 5: Oh no. And then we.

664
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: Looked at like what she was saying, and it was

665
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: a stone shelf that was about four and a half

666
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: feet long, and we're like, she's gonna sleep here?

667
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 5: Was she a care bear?

668
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: I know? And I just immediately emailed her back. I

669
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: was like, if you do that, we'll we're going to

670
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: move into a hotel, a very nice hotel, and we're going.

671
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 5: To charge you.

672
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 6: Yeah.

673
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 3: Yes, And so she.

674
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, I will not stay with you.

675
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 5: But I was like, what did you think?

676
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: Was kind of happened? So crazy?

677
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: You got to tell the story about you putting your

678
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: clothes in the wrong place.

679
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 2: It's such a funny story.

680
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: It was. I was like, if you've ever been to

681
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: the UK and looked at their washing machines, like it's

682
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: just a series of like squiggles and triangles, like it

683
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: makes no sense. No, but also like just the knob itself,

684
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: it's very difficult to figure out what is wash your clothes, Yes,

685
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: American washing machines. It's like this is for colors and

686
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: this is for normal. You can just literally there's a

687
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: button that says normal and you ye make it run normal.

688
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: There it's just like a triangle, a triangle and an

689
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: iron and like three little squiggly lines dot dot iron squiggle.

690
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

691
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: And so I like put my clothes in and it

692
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: proceeded to wash my it like wash my clothes for

693
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: twenty four hours, like it just kept going. And then

694
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: it then it locked my clothes inside of itself. Oh

695
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: my days, Oh my, I couldn't there was no way

696
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 1: to get it open. I kept like looking around, like

697
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: is there a special magnet?

698
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 5: If there wasn't a friendly person who could show the

699
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 5: dumb American had a.

700
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: No, I had to like call the rental property to

701
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: be like, my clothes have been locked inside your washing

702
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: machine three days.

703
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 3: Oh boy, I know that.

704
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 5: Whenever so Vince's our tour manager, so whenever we go

705
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 5: to the UK or Australia or whatever, and we need

706
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 5: like clothes washed. He'll go and then he'll always come

707
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 5: back to the hotel like swad and being like I

708
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 5: can't believe, like somehow he made it happen. But there's

709
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 5: always like a horror story. I think it's just horse

710
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 5: a horse story, a horror story, horror story.

711
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: I thought there was a wedge story.

712
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 5: There's always a horse story involved.

713
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 3: Kurt and I were in Edinburgh and we were staying

714
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 3: together for during fringe Fest, and right below the place

715
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 3: at the festival randed Kurt, there was a barber shop

716
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 3: and the advertise hot shaves, like a hot shave straight razor,

717
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 3: and I had never had one. Had you had one, Kurt?

718
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,439
Speaker 1: No, I never had, Like this is so you've had

719
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: a I wish the resilient from ankle.

720
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 5: When five o'clock shadow comes in.

721
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 3: It's so. We we were getting paid a pretty small

722
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 3: amount of money to be over there, but it was

723
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 3: one of those things where you had a little pocket cash,

724
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 3: so you were just like, yeah, let's go get some

725
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,479
Speaker 3: hot shaves, and and then they probably one at a time,

726
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 3: and Kurt was the star on the thing. I was

727
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 3: just writing on the thing. So I was like, you

728
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 3: go first, I'll go up to the flat and then

729
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 3: I'll come down and get it. And so I was

730
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 3: working and I'm hanging out, and I don't know, maybe

731
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 3: an hour passed.

732
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: I mean I think it was an hour.

733
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 3: And it was an empty barber shop when we walked in.

734
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: And when Kurt came up, he was so scared. His

735
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 3: face was so pale, just ashen and not even that

736
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 3: well shaved. I think you actually had to shave again.

737
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 1: After I said, I sat down and uh, and there

738
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: was like old there's like old man barbers there, do

739
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?

740
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 5: Yeah?

741
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, this old man last. Yeah,

742
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,959
Speaker 1: he has been doing this since he was twenty years old.

743
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: He's ninety now, seventy years steady hand.

744
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 5: It's gonna be the shave of your life. You're never

745
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 5: You're gonna never know.

746
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: It's gonna be amazing. Yeah. Yeah, sat down and like

747
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: it was literally like like as like the advertisement was

748
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 1: the old man, and then the moment I sat down,

749
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: he just disappeared and out came this like nineteen year

750
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: old girl woman, but she like was very young, So

751
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: I kind of want to use the word girl who

752
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: I don't know if she had ever shaved anyone. And

753
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh no, and I came down

754
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: and then she like shakily and nervously shaved me and

755
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: like you have a straight razor, yeah, against your throat

756
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: and it it hurt so much and took so long,

757
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: and then when I got back, I didn't even have

758
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 1: a close shaved.

759
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it was.

760
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: A near experience for forty five minutes.

761
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 5: It was forty five or no, no, no, no, of course.

762
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 3: It was so long. I thought it would take like

763
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 3: it was a like a gentleman's barbershop. I thought it

764
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 3: would take fifteen minutes. Yeah, the Kurt was going to

765
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 3: come up beaming and smiling, I mean, like this was transcendent.

766
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 3: Instead he was like, dude, I just thought she was

767
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 3: gonna slip my throat every time, every stroke. That's why

768
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 3: you have.

769
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 5: To do stuff in other countries is because then you

770
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 5: have stories to talk about and tell about. That's a

771
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:13,919
Speaker 5: good point for a lifetime.

772
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: That's a really good point.

773
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: Like even the small things like that, Just do the

774
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 3: dumb little things because it probably will escula and if not,

775
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 3: you got a hair wrap and you.

776
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 5: It's the only It's the only thing that Karen and

777
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 5: I have to talk about before our shows or at

778
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 5: the shows, before I tell our stories. Our murders is

779
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 5: some fucking weird thing that like you have to order

780
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,760
Speaker 5: room service, you have to get a manicure because something's

781
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 5: gonna something fucked up is going to happen. Yeah, and

782
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 5: then you have the beginning of your show. Otherwise it's

783
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 5: just us going.

784
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: So I know I feel the same way because when

785
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,839
Speaker 1: I when I tour doing stand up, all I want

786
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: to do the day I get there is just go

787
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: right to the hotel and like sleep before my show. Yeah,

788
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: but I like have to force myself to like go

789
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: out and be like, what's weird about your dumb town?

790
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 5: Exactly?

791
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: I love coming to your town. And if I call

792
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: it dumb, it's only.

793
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 5: Because the name of your next tour.

794
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 1: Came to your dubtail.

795
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 5: Go on your dumb town, what's weird about it?

796
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 3: I can't just sit in a hotel room, you just can't.

797
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,479
Speaker 3: Or those comedy apartments like the rentals. I mean, that's

798
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 3: oh I've heard about that.

799
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 5: Oh that sounds nightmare.

800
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: I once had a I once had a comedy condo

801
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,720
Speaker 1: experience where I got in and I had already told

802
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: everyone involved I did not want to stay at the condo.

803
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: In the club was like, you have to stay at

804
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: the condo. And I got to the condo and there

805
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: was blood on the pillow, okay, and I had to

806
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: sleep there because it was already midnight.

807
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 5: Like a lot of blood or just like some I

808
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 5: got a nose. Either way, it's fucking horrible.

809
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: Either way, it just means no one cleaned clean, fucking

810
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: comedy condo.

811
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 5: That's comedy blood.

812
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to keep going on this tangent, but the

813
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 3: it when we were in Bay Saint Louis, Miss Sippy

814
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 3: doing when we jet skied down the Mississippi River.

815
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 1: Cause people don't know, we jet skied from Chicago to

816
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: New Orleans for charity. We sent five thousand dollars amazing

817
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: helf for international and.

818
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 3: We really went down the Mississippi to New Orleans. But

819
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 3: and we had stayed at pretty cool places. We had

820
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 3: stayed at marinas and sort of like yacht clubs and

821
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 3: like a lot of seasonal like time shares. It felt

822
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 3: like timeshares. So it's fun, and we were flying new

823
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 3: comics in and we was a good time. The last

824
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 3: place we stayed was I won't name the chain, but

825
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 3: it's like, uh, we'll say medieval inn in Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi.

826
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 3: And it right off the bat, like right off the road.

827
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 3: You were like, this place is not good. We're we

828
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 3: are about to step into hell. We might have died

829
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 3: on the way down. And so I'm the show runner,

830
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 3: Kurt's the star. We're in different hotel rooms. All I wanted.

831
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,720
Speaker 3: We had just been on the Mississippi River for probably

832
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: eight to ten hours. We just wanted to shower and

833
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 3: watch some TV and fall asleep like a normal person.

834
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 3: I go and there's no towels. Everything is so disgusting

835
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: it's beyond belief. And so I just decided I was

836
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 3: gonna strip the bed and put out my dirty clothes

837
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 3: and then just lay like no spat to on my

838
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 3: own clothes, flat on a mattress. And that's what I did.

839
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 3: I showered in that saw for smelling water that sometimes

840
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:25,760
Speaker 3: you get in lens. Anyways, while I'm laying or not sleeping,

841
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 3: afraid of being stabbed to death, I open. I was like,

842
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 3: I wonder if they have a Gideon's Bible.

843
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder if they have one.

844
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 3: So I opened the dresser or the little nightstand drawer,

845
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:40,479
Speaker 3: and it's full of fingernails, not like trimmed, not ripped off,

846
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 3: it's not saw but trimmed fingernail fail. And so I'm like,

847
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 3: I'm the boss, and if I act like a punk tomorrow,

848
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 3: it's gonna be bad for morale. It's gonna spread negativity,

849
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,959
Speaker 3: which can happen so easily. So I was like, I'm

850
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 3: just gonna not say anything. I get up, I go

851
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: to waffle house, I grab a coffee. I come back

852
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 3: and the crews there, all the camera guys, all great guys,

853
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: and finally one of them was like, anything weird in

854
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 3: your room, Scottie, and I go, yeah, there were actually

855
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 3: like fingernails and toneo clippings in, and one of our

856
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 3: camera guys, I think it was Coop, goes, oh, there's

857
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 3: a chair in my room that just looked like somebody

858
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 3: masturbated on it like one hundred and fifty times. And

859
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 3: then so we're cracking up and we're waiting for every

860
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 3: load in, and then we had one guy that smoked,

861
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 3: and I don't remember who it was, but one of

862
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: our crew smoked, and he goes, oh, I got yell

863
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 3: beat Kurt.

864
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 2: You might not even know this story.

865
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 5: No, I have the talent.

866
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 3: Oh you know what. You and Tom Sick were shooting

867
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 3: that thing where you were looking in the mirror and

868
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 3: being like this is hell like heart of Darkness stuff.

869
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: We were, yeah, we're shooting Apocalypse now stylegage and that

870
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 1: shitty fucking motel room.

871
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 2: We were maybe honestly losing our minds.

872
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: So one of our guys so toenails and fingernails, not enough,

873
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 3: A seman.

874
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 2: Covered chair, not enough, This guy goes.

875
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 3: So I got up to smoke a cigarette at like

876
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 3: two am and I opened my door, and I guess

877
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 3: a junkie had shot up and passed out against my door,

878
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 3: because when I opened the door, he did a backwards

879
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 3: somersault needle in arm into the room, into the room.

880
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 3: So imagine a hardwood chair leaning against a door and

881
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 3: you opened the door quickly and then it tips backwards.

882
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 3: He was in a chair, it's the door feet overhead,

883
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 3: ass over tea kettle into a room, passed out on heroin.

884
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 3: So just one of our crew members was just had

885
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 3: a junkie just laying in his room at the Medieval

886
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 3: and I was like that I was like, what do

887
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: you do? Because I went to the front desk and

888
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 3: they called the police, and the police just pulled him

889
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 3: out and I was I'm so sorry, guys, We'll book

890
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 3: a better hotel. It was an escalation beyond belief.

891
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 5: That's terrible.

892
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 3: God.

893
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 5: I found a chicken way an eating chicken wing in

894
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 5: the hallway of a hotel or motel in New Orleans.

895
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 5: But never a junkie that.

896
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 1: Seems like that seems like a New Orleans thing. Were

897
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: just like coming home drunk and you're just like, I'm

898
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: leaving this chicken wing.

899
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, New Orleans seems like a place they would

900
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 3: sell one chicken wing. Yeah, it's like a buck.

901
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, I got a buck, I.

902
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: Got I got one more for you?

903
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 2: Just want to do you go, buddy?

904
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: Right here we go this yeah, armless floorda man charged

905
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: with stabbing a tourist. That that's a great question. This

906
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: is a guy, Jonathan Crenshaw. He's a fixture on Miami

907
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: Beach for years. He sells paintings on the side of

908
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: the road and he paints with his feet because he

909
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: has no arms. But shortly after midnight on Tuesday, this

910
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry This is from the harold En Review, not

911
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: the Herald Review. The Harald and reviewld by Scott Andrea.

912
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 1: Shortly after midnight on Tuesday, Crenshot turned on one of

913
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: those tourists and stabbed with him with a pair of

914
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: scissors he held with his feet. But the thing is,

915
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: he just walked up to him, stabbed him with the

916
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 1: scissors that he held in his feet, and then just

917
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: ran away. I think with the scissors still being held

918
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: on his feet.

919
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 3: They could hear him go.

920
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 5: Talented.

921
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: He had like a twenty level eleven profile in the

922
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: Miami New Times where he told the publication the glorious

923
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: Stefan gave birth to nearly two hundred of his children.

924
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 3: Oh that's beautiful.

925
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, what did that tourist do? I can't help myself,

926
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 5: but I what did that fucking tourist say?

927
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: You know the guy I'm on the side of Crenshaw.

928
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, if he's been out there this whole time, since

929
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 5: twenty eleven painting and this is the first time he's

930
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 5: fucking stabbed someone.

931
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 3: Yes, then he somebody said something about some fact he

932
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 3: has no.

933
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 5: Arms, right, I mean?

934
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 3: But also, how do you I mean good for him?

935
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 5: Yeah?

936
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 3: I don't like, have you ever tried to use left

937
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: handed scissors? It is one of those mind bottling things.

938
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 2: In the world.

939
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 3: Like I can't. I can't load the dishwasher with my

940
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,720
Speaker 3: left hand. Like this guy can use scissors with your feet,

941
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 3: he can paint.

942
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 1: I mean like it's almost like I'm surprised that he

943
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: stabbed a guy with scissors with his feet, but he

944
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 1: can paint with his feet.

945
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 5: So I can't pay with my right hand, which is

946
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 5: my dominant hand. I can't.

947
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: I can't pay with either of my hand right.

948
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 3: Last one, Okay, I'll give you the last one. This

949
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,879
Speaker 3: is from the Associated Press, Big Big Fan, Big Fan.

950
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 3: Las Crusis, New Mexico. This one starts like, oh no,

951
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 3: this actually starts a little my favorite murdery and then

952
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 3: it shifts into something very try on.

953
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 5: Fint Yeah.

954
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 3: A sixteen year old wrestling champion helped stop a kidnapping

955
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 3: and assault near Las Cruces, New Mexico by pinning a

956
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 3: man down onto the ground until deputies arrived. So this

957
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 3: mother was getting off the bus. She had a nine

958
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 3: year old, a two year old, and a one year old.

959
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 3: She was waiting for a newber driver to arrive when

960
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,800
Speaker 3: this man grabs her two year old child and demands

961
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: the woman turn over her other two children. Oh my god, yeah,

962
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 3: I mean a true nightmare. And so witnesses told authorities

963
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 3: the man punched the woman and others. So this guy

964
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 3: punches the woman and then all these other people try

965
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 3: to intervene, but he's like fighting them off, and this

966
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 3: woman gets in his face, gets punched, and the mom

967
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: grabs her children and rushes into sort of the service.

968
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: Station, the gas station.

969
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 3: While this is happening, you know, punches are being thrown,

970
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 3: Scary people are screaming on this stuff. There's this kid

971
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 3: and I'm going to say his name three different ways.

972
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 3: His last name is definitely Bower. His first name is

973
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 3: either Kanan Kanan or Kanan c an.

974
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 5: Aa n non sounds yeaheah.

975
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 3: So let's go with Kanan. Sixteen year old Kanan Bauer.

976
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 3: Kanan gets out of his truck, he walks over the man,

977
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 3: body slams the man and gets him in a choke

978
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 3: hold until deputies arrive. Here's here's the reason I mentioned this.

979
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 3: I know, I love this kid so much. Yeah, Banana

980
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 3: of the Week. Kanan Bauer won the district three to five.

981
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: A championship in the two and eighty five pounds heavyweight

982
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 3: division on February sixteenth.

983
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 2: So this is a big sixteen year old.

984
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 3: Shit. So this guy who's trying to kidnap this kid punches,

985
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 3: a woman, fights, another woman is holding this kid. They

986
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 3: wrestle the kids away and then literally like a juggernaut,

987
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:55,399
Speaker 3: walks towards him and just and you know, not all

988
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 3: of us can do this. Most of us are wimpy

989
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 3: new alarm piped arm losers. But if you you are

990
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,399
Speaker 3: a sixteen year old that weighs two hundred and five

991
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 3: and you can wrestle, fucking be vigilant, you're do good,

992
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 3: do good, do better. This is he, this is this

993
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 3: kid is unbelievable. So, uh, there's no reports in the

994
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,880
Speaker 3: police reports, the kidnapped her, didn't know the mother or

995
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 3: her children, and he was just some opportunist trying to

996
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,839
Speaker 3: steal some kids. Uh. And he was arrested in charge

997
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 3: with battery, assault, child abused, kidnapping and is in jail currently.

998
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 3: But yeah, sixteen year old and his dad, so we'll

999
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 3: say it's Conan Canal and Bower's dad, Troy, is in

1000
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 3: a pickup truck with his son when his son gets

1001
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: out to do the thing and just like watches his

1002
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 3: son go over and like wreak havoc and lay down

1003
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 3: the law.

1004
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 5: That's my boy.

1005
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 3: Oh, I would be so proud. I don't think a

1006
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 3: lot of kids, but I'm warned pounds sixteen year old.

1007
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 5: There's moments when I'm like, I'd have a kid if that,

1008
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 5: if I were promised that would turn into my.

1009
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: Kid, I would yeah, yeah, if you could have Connan.

1010
00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: If I was a dad, I would get out and

1011
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: just start once he pinned him to start slamming on

1012
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: the ground, like.

1013
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know that there was I'll never forget that.

1014
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 5: Like maybe I don't remember. It was a long time

1015
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 5: ago that someone tried to like in downtown LA. This

1016
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 5: dude tried to steal a conversion van that was getting

1017
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 5: gas pumping gas at gas station and it turned out

1018
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 5: the conversion van was full of like black belt jiu

1019
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 5: jitsu people on their way to a match, right yeah,

1020
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 5: and they beat the shit out of him. It's classic.

1021
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 2: I love stories.

1022
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I remember that.

1023
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 2: I love those stories.

1024
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 5: I did. I mean it sucks because it's like, Okay,

1025
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 5: this guy was stealing it because he probably had issues

1026
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 5: and those are from the fucking system, and the system

1027
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 5: was fucked and his system. However, it feels good to

1028
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 5: hear that justice is done.

1029
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 3: I was downtown LA like eight years ago. The girls

1030
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 3: dating at the time had a convertible Volkswagen Beetle. She

1031
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 3: had a bug, and I think I was driving, and

1032
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 3: I was by myself.

1033
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 2: Top was down.

1034
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 3: Downtown LA is always an interesting place to be exposed

1035
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 3: to the elements. And I'm sitting there on the corner

1036
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 3: and this woman just goes, hey, nice butt, and I

1037
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 3: like look at her, and I like smile. I was happy.

1038
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, you too, and then she looks

1039
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 3: at me weird and walks away. And then the light

1040
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 3: turns green and I drive, And about about fifteen minutes

1041
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 3: later I realized she said nice bug because I was

1042
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 3: in a Volkswagen Bug. So this one says nice bug,

1043
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 3: and I go, yeah, you too, and then just drive.

1044
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:42,839
Speaker 5: She's like he's drunk crazy, Yeah, yeah exactly.

1045
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 3: I raised EasTone light to her and I sped away.

1046
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:48,399
Speaker 2: Don't drink.

1047
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 5: I just think it's I wouldn't convertibles. It's too easy

1048
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 5: for people to spit in them or throw drinks in them.

1049
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 5: I don't think i'd I'd be in one.

1050
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: I could only drive it at night. It'd just be

1051
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: too the too sonny for me. Yeah, with my alabaster skin.

1052
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 3: Oh it is a nice alabaster buttermilk buttermilk brown older

1053
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 3: on the dodgeball team, that's what we called him.

1054
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Georgia for being on Bananas My pleasure.

1055
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 5: Thanks for having me, guys anytime.

1056
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:21,959
Speaker 1: Second episode.

1057
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:30,280
Speaker 5: Wow, crazy crazy did it? I did it. We finally

1058
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 5: did it.

1059
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,280
Speaker 3: They wouldn't give you a radio show at Santa Monica

1060
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 3: Community College, And now look at them. I bet they're now, yes,

1061
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 3: you should. Haven't they give this woman a doctorate.

1062
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 5: In cr W. It's k CRW.

1063
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 3: I realize you deserve it. It is.

1064
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 1: Product of Santa Monica College.

1065
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 5: I can't believe I forgot that. Yeah, they're like, go away,

1066
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 5: you didn't even graduate.

1067
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 1: Well, thanks and bananas Bananas podcasting.

1068
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: Oh, we've been doing something dumb every time we're new.

1069
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 3: We're new to the.

1070
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 1: Game something, Georgia, do you have an idea?

1071
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 5: I just keep I'd say, just keep trying stuff until

1072
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 5: you find it and your eel know in your heart

1073
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:18,439
Speaker 5: that that's the one.

1074
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, see you later. Primates. We're Bananas.

1075
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 3: That's it, Bye guys, bye.

1076
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right.

1077
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 3: Production, produced and engineered by Katie.

1078
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: Levine, theme song by Kahanamanti, and all of our artwork

1079
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: is done by Travis Millard. So please follow us on

1080
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: Instagram at The Bananas Podcast where we post so many

1081
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: more stories and make it here and.

1082
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 3: You can share with us your strange news story by

1083
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,840
Speaker 3: d ming us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast.

1084
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

1085
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you get podcasts.

1086
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 6: Bananas Bananas, The Got That Travel, put Dada's nay bundannas

1087
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 6: Pudda and then drove me bandas

1088
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 4: Nay bandannas badaud