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Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to another Tommy Talk, and today's topic

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Speaker 1: is Valentine's Day, Cool or cringe. So, the big love

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Speaker 1: holiday is coming up and people have a lot of

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Speaker 1: opinions about it, a lot of opinions about it. So

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Speaker 1: whether you are single or with a spouse, or a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend or boyfriend, or celebrating or not celebrating, let's talk

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Speaker 1: about Valentine's Day and really lay on the table if

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Speaker 1: it's cool or cringe, and then I'm going to declare

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Speaker 1: my final thoughts on this holiday.

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Speaker 2: Right. So, technically it is a.

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Speaker 1: Hallmark holiday, which is why I think there's so much controversy.

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Speaker 1: People are like, oh my god, it's a way for

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Speaker 1: corporations and companies to make money off of lovey dovey

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Speaker 1: themed items and gifts.

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Speaker 2: So there's a lot of opinions on it.

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Speaker 1: It's also a holiday that makes people feel a certain

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Speaker 1: way or not. But I think there's a lot to

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Speaker 1: go over and look out when we talk about Valentine's

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Speaker 1: Day to really discuss why it might be cool and

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Speaker 1: why it might be cringe. So let's talk about why

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day may be cool. Okay, I think what's cool about.

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Speaker 2: It is yes, it is a.

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Speaker 1: Hallmark holiday, but it allows you time to celebrate anyone

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Speaker 1: in your life that you love, whether it is a partner,

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Speaker 1: whether it is a friendship, whether it's Gallentine's Day, which

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Speaker 1: is super popular, you know, where a bunch of girlfriends

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Speaker 1: go out and celebrate each other. I think that we

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Speaker 1: live in a world that is so intense and heavy

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Speaker 1: and sometimes very dark, that if there is an opportunity

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Speaker 1: to celebrate somebody that you genuinely love, well, why wouldn't

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Speaker 1: we take it right? And we should celebrate people in

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Speaker 1: our lives all the time. But let's be honest, life

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Speaker 1: gets busy. Sometimes we feel like we can't get off

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Speaker 1: of the hamster wheel. So to have a dedicated day

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Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, okay, this is coming up, Let's make

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Speaker 1: that dinner reservation, let's go out for a guy's night

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Speaker 1: or a girls' night, like, it forces you on the

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Speaker 1: calendar to make a plan that I actually really like.

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Speaker 1: I have had single Valentine's Days where I've spent with

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Speaker 1: my best friend and gone out, and then I've had

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Days where I'm with my husband. Right, So I

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Speaker 1: think that it's an excuse to really sink your teeth

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Speaker 1: into the relationships that matter.

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Speaker 2: And I like that. I really do like that. So

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Speaker 2: while it.

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Speaker 1: Might seem cheesy and a little over the top, and

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Speaker 1: you walk into a store and you see those little

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Speaker 1: balloons with weird graphics on them or cheesy stuffed animals,

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Speaker 1: it's still a time to celebrate the people that you love.

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Speaker 1: And I'm here for it. I am, I'm here for it.

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Speaker 1: I like that it's an excuse to show appreciation for

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Speaker 1: those people that you care about. I think to have

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Speaker 1: a bonus day in the year where you get to

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Speaker 1: do that is really a nice thing, and it kind

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Speaker 1: of forces you to do outside of the box things

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Speaker 1: that you don't do all year. Maybe it's you send

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Speaker 1: a card, or maybe you buy a little gift for somebody.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be expensive, you know, maybe you do

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Speaker 1: something nice, maybe you set up a spa day with

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Speaker 1: your friends. It's the social aspect of it that if

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Speaker 1: you lean into it, I think it's really cool. So

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Speaker 1: if you are somebody that's like Valentine's Day sucks and

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Speaker 1: I can't believe it's coming up again and I hate it, well,

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Speaker 1: I would say maybe reframe it to doing something you've

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Speaker 1: always wanted to do, or that you don't get to

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Speaker 1: do a lot of, right, so make it a really

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Speaker 1: fun social occasion for you and your friends. I like

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Speaker 1: that we can celebrate self love as well. Who says

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day has to be about loving someone else. It's

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Speaker 1: great to love other people, trust me, but you can

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Speaker 1: also love yourself and celebrate self love, pamper yourself. When

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Speaker 1: the hell do we do that in everyday life. I

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Speaker 1: don't know when I got a massage last and my

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Speaker 1: body needs it. It's like falling apart on me right now.

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Speaker 1: I got back from a wedding our friends got married.

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Speaker 1: I decided to do a jump split on the dance

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Speaker 1: floor and then slide across the dance floor. And let

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Speaker 1: me tell you, I have two skinned knees that hurt

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Speaker 1: every time I bend them. And I have a tear

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Speaker 1: in my hip from dancing from doing a jump split

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Speaker 1: on the dance floor. Right, so that's healing. I got

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Speaker 1: some shots in my ass, which was not fun. But

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Speaker 1: here we are and we're healing that. So anyway, I

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Speaker 1: say all of that to say I need a massage.

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Speaker 1: Like once that kind of the inflammation goes down a

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Speaker 1: little I need a massage. Why haven't I made the

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Speaker 1: appointment yet? Self love is important, and I think Valentine's

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Speaker 1: Day can be a reminder that we should pamper ourselves

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Speaker 1: that weekend, get a facial, go to a walk, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, do whatever the hell you want to do,

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Speaker 1: but focus on you. It doesn't always have to be

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Speaker 1: about other people. I love putting my love into other people.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, I am a very generous person.

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Speaker 2: In that kind of a way.

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Speaker 1: I love the people that I love and I want

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Speaker 1: to do everything in anything I can for them.

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Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean we have to neglect ourselves either.

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Speaker 1: So I say we can look at Valentine's Day as

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Speaker 1: a way to practice self love, maybe during a time

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Speaker 1: in a busy year when we don't always get to

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Speaker 1: do that. So that piece of it, to me is really, really,

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Speaker 1: really appealing. And I think lastly, why it's cool is,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you're kind of coming off of the

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Speaker 1: holidays and you have such an overload of joy and

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Speaker 1: fun and there's so much happening, and then you hit

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Speaker 1: the January blues and you're in the winter and you're like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel like all of that is gone.

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Speaker 1: It gives you something to look forward to. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: look there's another mini little holiday that we can make

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Speaker 1: whatever we want.

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Speaker 2: Let's have fun with it.

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Speaker 1: Let's decorate the house with some cute red and pink

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Speaker 1: heart stuff and show ourselves or the people we love

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Speaker 1: that we love them. So I like the festive nature

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Speaker 1: of it as well. Here's why it can be cringe.

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Speaker 1: The over the top gifts or like public displays of

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Speaker 1: affection can be a lot like I don't need to

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Speaker 1: watch a reality show, a bad reality show when I

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Speaker 1: open my Instagram, and sometimes people are very showy in

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Speaker 1: the sense that they do things because they want the

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Speaker 1: likes or the attention or the comments, and you're like, guys,

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Speaker 1: nobody in.

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Speaker 2: The real world is doing that. Why in the world are.

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Speaker 1: You acting like this is a normal display of effect

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Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day? Like you can just I always say,

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Speaker 1: you can smell a fake. And some people go so

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Speaker 1: above and beyond trying to create this curated idea of

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Speaker 1: what that day should be that it just makes your

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Speaker 1: roll your eyes. I'm not here for the over the

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Speaker 1: top public displays. I think it's a bit much, So

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Speaker 1: that's something I don't love. I think the pressure it

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Speaker 1: can put on people to have a boyfriend or girlfriend

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Speaker 1: a spouse, be married if they're not married. Like, the

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Speaker 1: pressure that it can put on you, I understand, can

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Speaker 1: be a lot, and it can feel daunting, and it

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Speaker 1: can make people feel left out when they see couple's

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Speaker 1: pictures and everyone declaring their love for each other, so

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Speaker 1: that I don't love either because I'm someone that doesn't

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Speaker 1: want people to feel left out ever, But to that,

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Speaker 1: I would encourage you to think, maybe like, Okay, if

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Speaker 1: it's not your time right now, it's coming if that's

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Speaker 1: what you want. It's all about timing. When I met

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Speaker 1: my husband, I didn't expect it, I didn't want it.

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Speaker 1: We just met in a love story began, so you

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Speaker 1: just never know I can happen. But I do understand

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Speaker 1: that it can make you feel left out, so that's

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Speaker 1: not an amazing part of it as well. I think

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Speaker 1: that can be a little hurtful. I think that ads

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Speaker 1: and movies and social media can make it feel like

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Speaker 1: everyone must have a Valentine, and that's not reality. First

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Speaker 1: of all, a lot of people don't want a Valentine.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people don't want it. They want to

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Speaker 1: be single and thriving, and I love that for them,

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Speaker 1: like good for you. Everybody deserves to live the life

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Speaker 1: they want to live. But there are people who do

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Speaker 1: feel left out and like they should have a Valentine.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I mentioned self love earlier, because it's like,

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Speaker 1: let's flip the script. We don't need to listen to

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Speaker 1: these advertisers saying that, right, do what makes you feel good.

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Speaker 1: I think the unrealistic depictions of love also can be

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Speaker 1: something that can be detrimental or dangerous for people. I

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Speaker 1: think real world love is not always what you see

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Speaker 1: in a movie, and there's a level of intimacy and

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Speaker 1: going through a journey with somebody that's not always depicted

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Speaker 1: in pop culture. Right, There's a lot in a love story,

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Speaker 1: and I think sometimes people have these unrealistic depictions, like

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Speaker 1: someone is going to, you know, change my life in

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Speaker 1: February on Valentine's Day when I walk into a bar

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Speaker 1: and I hope that. I really hope that for people,

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Speaker 1: but that's not always the case. That's not always the case.

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Speaker 1: So I think that the unrealistic depictions out there can

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Speaker 1: sometimes set people up for I don't want to say failure,

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Speaker 1: but for feeling like they're never going to get what

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Speaker 1: they want. So there's a lot that can be quote

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Speaker 1: unquote cringe about Valentine's Day, for sure. So what I

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Speaker 1: would say is, you know, if you're somebody who celebrates,

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Speaker 1: whether it is with a friend or a partner, do

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Speaker 1: things that aren't so over the top and do things

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Speaker 1: that really matter, like I don't know, make a handmade card,

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Speaker 1: make an experience, do things that really are what love,

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Speaker 1: in any sense of the words, should be about. It's

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Speaker 1: not about the big grand gestures. It's like I said,

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Speaker 1: it can be over the top and cringe. It's just

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Speaker 1: about really showing up for somebody and showing you're there

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Speaker 1: for somebody and listening and maybe there's something they've talked

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Speaker 1: about all year that they're like, oh, that would be

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Speaker 1: so cool to have. And it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: a big, big, expensive thing. It's like, oh, I listened,

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Speaker 1: I clocked that I took, I stored it away in

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Speaker 1: my closet, and I give it to you and let

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Speaker 1: me write a beautiful note and let's go to a

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Speaker 1: cooking class. Like an experience with anyone that you love,

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Speaker 1: friend or boyfriend, girlfriend is a great way to go

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Speaker 1: about it. I also think you got to do what

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Speaker 1: makes you feel good. Right, If all you want is

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Speaker 1: love in a romantic relationship, put it out there. Maybe

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Speaker 1: next year will be the year. Maybe a month from

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day will be a year. Nothing wrong with putting

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Speaker 1: it out there. Put it out there, like, don't give up,

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Speaker 1: don't think it's never going to happen, Like stay true

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Speaker 1: to what you want in your life. But then this year,

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Speaker 1: go enjoy that love in a friendship. Love has many forms.

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Speaker 1: I keep wanting to ingrain that in all of us,

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Speaker 1: because it does, it does. I'm flipping the script on

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. Love has many forms. The holiday is I

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Speaker 1: think most fun when it's low pressure. Sure, when it's genuine,

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Speaker 1: when it's personal, when you can celebrate those friendships or

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Speaker 1: self love or somebody that you're in a relationship with

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Speaker 1: through simple acts of kindness. That's what I would say. So,

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Speaker 1: all in all, do I think Valentine's Day is cringe?

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Speaker 1: Or do I think Valentine's Day is cool? You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say. I think Valentine's Day is cool

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Speaker 1: because A I don't want to live my life as

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Speaker 1: a pessimist or as someone that can't see the good

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Speaker 1: in as many things out there that I can. And

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Speaker 1: while it is a hallmark holiday and we can go

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Speaker 1: on and on about corporations creating these things, and you

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Speaker 1: know how they're made to sell products and all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: I get it. I get all of that. I get it.

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Speaker 1: But if you really think of the core of the holiday,

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Speaker 1: it's about love. I'm somebody that loves love in all

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Speaker 1: the forms of it. So if there is a day

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Speaker 1: that can get us out of our daily grind and

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Speaker 1: get us off that hamster wheel as I mentioned earlier,

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Speaker 1: to sell break ourselves, our friends, the people that we're

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Speaker 1: in a relationship with, why not.

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Speaker 2: Why not it's one day.

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Speaker 1: I think the holiday has a lot of unnecessary hate,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know, I just don't subscribe to that.

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Speaker 1: I think that we can reframe it. We can handle

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Speaker 1: it in a way that's not annoying or obnoxious or showy,

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Speaker 1: and we can really strip it down to a day

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Speaker 1: just being about what matters, which is love. Love in

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Speaker 1: all forms, in every single form. So I implore you

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Speaker 1: this year, as a holiday is coming up, if you're

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Speaker 1: feeling like, oh I hate Valentine's say it sucks. Don't

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Speaker 1: put that energy on you. Don't put that energy on you.

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Speaker 1: Go have a fun day for yourself with a friend

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Speaker 1: or with someone you're in a relationship with.

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Speaker 2: All valid.

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Speaker 1: Go have a great, great meal and make some memories

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Speaker 1: for you. Flip the script. Make that holiday what you

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Speaker 1: want it to be. Reclaim it, reclaim it. Don't let

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Speaker 1: society tell you what it has to be. You make

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Speaker 1: it what you want it to be. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: this sucker for love, sign it off. I love each

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Speaker 1: and every one of you, Thank you for tuning in.

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Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of you,

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Speaker 1: and may the holiday be exactly what.

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Speaker 2: You want it to be.

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Speaker 1: I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy

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Speaker 1: de Dario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piblici

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Speaker 1: at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.

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Speaker 1: I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis

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00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:33,160
Speaker 1: Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review

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00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,280
Speaker 1: and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,

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Speaker 1: tell your friends. Until next time. I'm Tommy de Dario