1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,360
Speaker 1: This is intergalactic John, this is Alien sarm on the

2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:09,280
Speaker 1: International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human

3
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 1: stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,

4
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 1: stick around for this two minute not alien ad break

5
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,520
Speaker 1: before we get to these interstellar stories.

6
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,119
Speaker 2: I kept quiet about my wife's affair, but I know

7
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,119
Speaker 2: child boy knows.

8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:28,200
Speaker 3: Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone.

9
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 2: I'm Mail twenty three. Have been married to my wife

10
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 2: for just over five years. We have a four year

11
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,479
Speaker 2: old daughter. For the past week or two, I've had

12
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,800
Speaker 2: suspicions that my wife was talking to someone indoor cheating

13
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,879
Speaker 2: on me. Last night after I got home, when she

14
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 2: was asleep, I checked her phone and confirmed my suspicions.

15
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Jerry E twelve

16
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,400
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

17
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,360
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime subbrendit.

18
00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, and I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here

19
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,960
Speaker 1: to give good advice goofully.

20
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

21
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,279
Speaker 2: what we would do in a given situation. So if

22
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,400
Speaker 2: you would do something different, let us know in the comments.

23
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,680
Speaker 2: She's been talking to a co worker, and the texts

24
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,560
Speaker 2: from the past two days. Previous texts had been deleted

25
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 2: range from both of them saying I love you to

26
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,000
Speaker 2: making plans today for him to come to my house

27
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,279
Speaker 2: today while I'm at work. While they didn't definitively say

28
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,560
Speaker 2: they were going to have spicy sleep, it was strongly

29
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:29,080
Speaker 2: implied there is some evidence of other spicily related acts

30
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,760
Speaker 2: already having taken place. I am now sitting at a

31
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,399
Speaker 2: waffle house after calling into work to say I'm not

32
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,240
Speaker 2: coming in. I'm planning on trying to get proof of

33
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,320
Speaker 2: the visit if he does come over by watching when

34
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,080
Speaker 2: my alarm is armed slash disarmed through the app on

35
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 2: my phone after my research. If it ends in divorce,

36
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 2: if I can prove she has committed adultery, she will

37
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,080
Speaker 2: not be eligible for any alimony in my stay. I

38
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,160
Speaker 2: could if I wanted to stop them from having spasses

39
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,040
Speaker 2: sleep by going home and confront her before it happens,

40
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,840
Speaker 2: but it could cost me a lot in the long

41
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 2: run if our marriage does fall apart. I love her

42
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 2: and don't want it to end, but I can't see

43
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,720
Speaker 2: how I can forgive her for this. Even if I

44
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 2: confronted r now, I would always still feel the same

45
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,760
Speaker 2: as if she did have spicy sleep with him. This hurts.

46
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 2: I love her more than anything, and I feel like

47
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,040
Speaker 2: there is a hole in my chest and lead in

48
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,480
Speaker 2: my stomach. I am physically hungry, but can't bring myself

49
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,400
Speaker 2: to eat because I'm so nauseous. I can't stop shaking.

50
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,240
Speaker 2: I can't think straight. I feel like a part of

51
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,920
Speaker 2: me has been ripped out. I'm terrified of what this

52
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,280
Speaker 2: will mean for my life, and more than that, the

53
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,640
Speaker 2: life of my daughter. I need advice. I don't know

54
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,600
Speaker 2: what to do. And there's an update, folks. While I

55
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,400
Speaker 2: still feel physically sick, I am able to think clearer

56
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,519
Speaker 2: thans to everyone. I'll keep you all updated as this unfolds.

57
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,280
Speaker 2: Update too. I haven't left this post since I created it,

58
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 2: and I've still not stopped reading. This is the only

59
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 2: thing keeping me sane right now. I have yet to

60
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,160
Speaker 2: confront them, as the guy hasn't shown up, and I

61
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,880
Speaker 2: don't think he will today. At least, maybe she caught

62
00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,160
Speaker 2: on that I knew. I tried to play it like

63
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,400
Speaker 2: nothing was wrong this morning when I left, but it hurt.

64
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,480
Speaker 2: Not sure if she bought it. In their text, they

65
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,800
Speaker 2: had planned for him to come over Thursday morning. It

66
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 2: is currently twelve forty pm. If he doesn't show up,

67
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,000
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna talk to her about it tonight.

68
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 2: Update three The guy never showed up, So here is

69
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,280
Speaker 2: the current plan. I'm going to act like nothing is

70
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,720
Speaker 2: wrong for now. After talking to you all and family,

71
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,800
Speaker 2: I think I can put on an act like nothing

72
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,600
Speaker 2: is wrong. I'll go see a lawyer in the morning,

73
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 2: and I talked to a PI that I'll probably be hiring.

74
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,839
Speaker 2: I know from the text that she planned on having

75
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,760
Speaker 2: him come over during the hunting trip. I have planned

76
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,520
Speaker 2: for next weekend, so I'm gonna make sure I go

77
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,160
Speaker 2: and that the PI knows. I think I've decided I'm done.

78
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 2: I don't want to try to fix it. I'm going

79
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,800
Speaker 2: to cover my bases and get out. It's not just

80
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,520
Speaker 2: an affair in the sense that she's having Zispasa sleep.

81
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,040
Speaker 2: She tells him she loves them, and she doesn't seem

82
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,840
Speaker 2: to love me anymore. I feel like she's trying to

83
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,840
Speaker 2: use me. She wanted a new car and for me

84
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 2: to pay for her to go to school, but wanted

85
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,400
Speaker 2: to be with him. Currently. She left to pick up

86
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,880
Speaker 2: my daughter from daycare. I'm watching the time. I know

87
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 2: how long it should take. If she takes longer, I

88
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,640
Speaker 2: can guess where she went. Either way, I'm gonna try

89
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,480
Speaker 2: to make it through Christmas, my daughter's birthday next Friday,

90
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,560
Speaker 2: without saying anything about this. Hopefully the PI can find

91
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,880
Speaker 2: evidence then updates number four. So he came home and

92
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,040
Speaker 2: I acted normal. Everything seemed normal. We joked a bit,

93
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 2: which hurt when your heart broken, and had dinner. Sitting

94
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,640
Speaker 2: on the couch. After dinner, she asks me to pause

95
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,320
Speaker 2: the TV and asks when I was gonna mention it.

96
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,880
Speaker 2: I asked what it was, and she said she knew

97
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 2: I saw the texts. The conversation started. She tells me

98
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,320
Speaker 2: that he didn't come over, which obviously I knew that,

99
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,760
Speaker 2: and that she told him she doesn't want to talk

100
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,720
Speaker 2: to him anymore. She blocked his number. Obviously, since she's

101
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 2: done this, the original plan is off the table. My

102
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,800
Speaker 2: heart is broken. I don't know if I can ever

103
00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,320
Speaker 2: forgive her or trust her. I don't know if I

104
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 2: can be in a relationship with her. She wants to

105
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,880
Speaker 2: work on us, I don't know if I'm willing to

106
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,760
Speaker 2: or not. She says she was talking to him because

107
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,840
Speaker 2: she didn't feel wanted. Well, imagine how oh he feels now, dummy.

108
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 4: Imagine how tired we are of it.

109
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:55,280
Speaker 2: She didn't feel a deep emotional connection between us, and

110
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,960
Speaker 2: he knew all the right things to say, she said.

111
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,840
Speaker 2: She told him she couldn't be with him and told

112
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,320
Speaker 2: her multiple times she was done with him. Yet here

113
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,240
Speaker 2: she is inviting him to our house. She said it

114
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 2: wasn't a choice what she felt for him. The exact

115
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,600
Speaker 2: story was along the lines of he was bagging at

116
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,400
Speaker 2: my register one day and I accidentally touched his hand

117
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,200
Speaker 2: and it was like.

118
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 5: Electricity, So naturally.

119
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,440
Speaker 2: What a dumb, idiot thing to say. You don't understand.

120
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,880
Speaker 2: I touched his hand and immediately was willing to throw

121
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,720
Speaker 2: away our marriage. I know you're probably reading this and

122
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,640
Speaker 2: thinking it's a load to byes. Yeah, me too. How

123
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,920
Speaker 2: am I supposed to trust her? I can't see her

124
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,000
Speaker 2: side of this. Should I give her a chance? Did

125
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,159
Speaker 2: I try to work on things? I don't know? Do

126
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,640
Speaker 2: I want to? Is it worth it? I have to

127
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,840
Speaker 2: figure all this out, I told her. I can't decide now,

128
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 2: and I have to think about it. I'm thinking about

129
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 2: asking some coworkers if I can crash on their couch

130
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,200
Speaker 2: for a few days, get away from it all, and think,

131
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 2: of course I'd come back for Christmas for my daughter's sake.

132
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,640
Speaker 2: I don't see any point in hiring the PI now,

133
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,080
Speaker 2: as I genuinely don't think she'd do anything for a while.

134
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,960
Speaker 2: But maybe I'm wrong. Obviously I have been before. I'm

135
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,680
Speaker 2: taking plenty of precautions in the meantime to make sure

136
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:02,520
Speaker 2: I know what she is doing, and if anything is questionable,

137
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,640
Speaker 2: I'm done. And there's a fifth update. I'm gonna do

138
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,360
Speaker 2: a little Q and a section for the most asked question? Question?

139
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,240
Speaker 2: How did she find out that I know? Answer? In

140
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,360
Speaker 2: two ways. She had a strong suspicion that I knew

141
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,200
Speaker 2: because when she woke up there was a notification on

142
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,200
Speaker 2: her phone for a new screenshot, but when she clicked

143
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,800
Speaker 2: it there was no file. She was one hundred percent

144
00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,039
Speaker 2: sure I knew when she found this post. She's seen it.

145
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 2: She's probably reading this now, hey wife. Question? What did

146
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,040
Speaker 2: she say when I asked if she had Zispasa sleep

147
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,360
Speaker 2: with him? She said no. I'm inclined to believe her

148
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,719
Speaker 2: because many of the texts, including some of the last ones,

149
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,600
Speaker 2: he was saying how excited he was to finally see her.

150
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,880
Speaker 2: This doesn't mean I believe that she didn't, not at all.

151
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,280
Speaker 2: It doesn't change how I feel whether she did or not.

152
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 2: She planned on it and probably would have if I

153
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,120
Speaker 2: hadn't found out. Question how do I know she won't

154
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,600
Speaker 2: do it again? Answer is obviously I don't. If we

155
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,280
Speaker 2: try to fix things, I'll probably never be able to

156
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,240
Speaker 2: fully trust her again. She's going to have to prove

157
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 2: that she will be one hundred percent honest with me.

158
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,440
Speaker 2: Roughly eighty to ninety percent of you are telling me

159
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 2: to lawyer up and leave her. The other ten percent

160
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,719
Speaker 2: are telling me to either give it a shot or

161
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,360
Speaker 2: to do what I want. Thank you to everyone that

162
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,359
Speaker 2: is commented. It means a lot to me that so

163
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,760
Speaker 2: many people have taken the time to try and help

164
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,120
Speaker 2: or comfort me. She was saying that she did what

165
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,560
Speaker 2: she did with him because she felt unwanted, but she

166
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,840
Speaker 2: understood that it was her fault. She knows she should

167
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,280
Speaker 2: have talked to me. She knows she's the one in

168
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,560
Speaker 2: the wrong. She says she doesn't blame me for it.

169
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,240
Speaker 2: I didn't push her away and make her do this.

170
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,720
Speaker 2: Our marriage hasn't been perfect. We've had issues we've had

171
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 2: issues communicating, especially lately, we haven't had a great SPATA

172
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,800
Speaker 2: sleep life. I felt like she didn't care enough, and

173
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,520
Speaker 2: she felt like I didn't care enough. Neither of us

174
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 2: tried enough to work on it. Does that mean I

175
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 2: blame myself for this? No, not even a little bit.

176
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 2: She did this and she knows. That's how I feel now.

177
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,200
Speaker 2: For the plan going forward, I thought long and hard

178
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,840
Speaker 2: last night and this morning about what I wanted, what

179
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,360
Speaker 2: would make me happy. I want to stay, but that

180
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,080
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I've decided to. I want us to work

181
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,720
Speaker 2: things out and talk to counselors and our marriage be

182
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,840
Speaker 2: better than ever, But I have no idea if that

183
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,040
Speaker 2: will happen. After I knew she read this post, I

184
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,960
Speaker 2: knew that she knew about sc law on adultery and

185
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,760
Speaker 2: that she wouldn't be entitled to alimony if she was caught.

186
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,160
Speaker 2: That was my only defense. Now that she knows, I

187
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,920
Speaker 2: don't think she'd do anything with anyone For a long time,

188
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 2: I think, do you not already have the evidence that

189
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 2: she cheated and that it was adultery? Does it have

190
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,240
Speaker 2: to be coitus for it to be adultery? I came

191
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 2: up with an idea. I knew I couldn't and wouldn't

192
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,960
Speaker 2: trust her for a long time. If ever again, if

193
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,760
Speaker 2: we tried to fix things, I figured out the only

194
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,720
Speaker 2: thing that can even start to make me believe that

195
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 2: maybe she actually wants to stay with me for me

196
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 2: and work on our relationship, and not stay with me

197
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 2: for what I can do for her. I asked her

198
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,800
Speaker 2: if she would sign a post nuptial agreement, if she

199
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,280
Speaker 2: will agree to sign a contract that if we divorce,

200
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,440
Speaker 2: even at no fault, she gets nothing, no alimony, no

201
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:54,280
Speaker 2: possessions except certain outlined things that are undeniably hers, and

202
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,560
Speaker 2: no child support. Let me clarify, I would never not

203
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,400
Speaker 2: support my daughter, and I wouldn't keep my daughter from her.

204
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,240
Speaker 2: I'd just like to avoid court ordered child support and

205
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,920
Speaker 2: give her X amount to support my daughter based on

206
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,440
Speaker 2: how long she has her at any given time. At

207
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,600
Speaker 2: this point, if the post nuptial agreement works how I hope,

208
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,560
Speaker 2: and she signs it, I think I'd be willing to

209
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,560
Speaker 2: try to work on things. I know a lot of

210
00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,800
Speaker 2: you aren't gonna like this. Maybe she's lying to me,

211
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,120
Speaker 2: maybe she really is problematic. But I knew her before

212
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 2: she did this. I knew her before our marriage degraded.

213
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,840
Speaker 2: I don't think she did it because she wanted to

214
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,040
Speaker 2: have the splashes sleep with someone else. I don't think

215
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,440
Speaker 2: she did it because she doesn't love me. I think

216
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,120
Speaker 2: she did it because he was telling her the exact

217
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,240
Speaker 2: same things I used to when we were first together.

218
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,240
Speaker 2: I think she misses what we used to be, and

219
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,120
Speaker 2: while we will never be what we used to be,

220
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,960
Speaker 2: this will go one of three ways. Either we try

221
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 2: to work on things and it doesn't work out and

222
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,520
Speaker 2: we get a divorce. We try to work on things

223
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,520
Speaker 2: and she continues to cheat and we get a divorce,

224
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,280
Speaker 2: or we try to work on things and we fix

225
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,800
Speaker 2: problems we have had with ourselves and our marriage since

226
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,240
Speaker 2: we first got together. In our marriage and relationship be

227
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,839
Speaker 2: stronger than it has ever been. I'm hoping for the latter.

228
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,480
Speaker 2: And there's a sixth update currently sitting at the bar,

229
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,120
Speaker 2: drink it some jack and Coca cola. So we talked.

230
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,160
Speaker 2: He tried to work things out and it seemed like

231
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,360
Speaker 2: it was getting better. Then she said that she wasn't

232
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,720
Speaker 2: sure how she felt or if she wanted to try.

233
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,600
Speaker 2: We talked some more and she said she did want

234
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 2: to try. We had a session of counseling with a

235
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,560
Speaker 2: therapist Wednesday. The counseling went more or less like this.

236
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,040
Speaker 2: She said she felt like she wasn't getting enough out

237
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,719
Speaker 2: of the marriage and that I didn't care or talk

238
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,360
Speaker 2: to her. The therapist asked her some questions and she

239
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,679
Speaker 2: answered basically saying she could tell I did care and

240
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,520
Speaker 2: did talk to her. Therapists explained to her that it

241
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,280
Speaker 2: wasn't that I didn't care, and instead that she just

242
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 2: wasn't happy with it and didn't know what she wanted. Well,

243
00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,520
Speaker 2: she decided what she wanted last night. She started setting

244
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,760
Speaker 2: up an air mattress in the extra room, and I

245
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,680
Speaker 2: saw she had some new sheets that she had ordered

246
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 2: to fit it. I looked at her phone to see

247
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 2: when she had ordered them, and she was texting him again. Wait,

248
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,040
Speaker 2: that's actually that's crazy.

249
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,360
Speaker 3: That's crazy, like, oh, I'm just trying to see when

250
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,160
Speaker 3: you decided to sleep in another room. But I've found

251
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,200
Speaker 3: something way worse, like you're still talking to this guy.

252
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,439
Speaker 2: We will be getting a divorce. I know a lot

253
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,600
Speaker 2: of you are going to say I don't do so,

254
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,599
Speaker 2: but I was one hundred percent aware this was a

255
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,880
Speaker 2: possibility when I tried to work things out, and I

256
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 2: don't regret it at all. I'll look back on this

257
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 2: in the future and know I did everything I could

258
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 2: to fix thing. I have nothing left to regret, and

259
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,680
Speaker 2: that makes me happy. I tried, and I can never

260
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,480
Speaker 2: blame myself now, as you can't just stop loving at will.

261
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 2: I do still love her. I don't forgive her, and

262
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 2: I may never forgive her, but I don't resent her.

263
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,400
Speaker 2: I still want the best for her and our daughter

264
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,160
Speaker 2: and want her to be happy. I genuinely believe she

265
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,160
Speaker 2: regrets hurting me, but can't help how she feels we

266
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,880
Speaker 2: are done. But she is currently planning to move back

267
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,040
Speaker 2: to Florida with her family, which means leaving this guy too.

268
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,120
Speaker 2: She doesn't think she can be happy with me anymore,

269
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,960
Speaker 2: but I don't really think she's leaving me to be

270
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,960
Speaker 2: with him. In my opinion, she's excited about the pursuit

271
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,800
Speaker 2: the puppy dog love that you get when you meet

272
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 2: someone new. I think she is damaged and needs help

273
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,000
Speaker 2: to figure herself out and her self image issues. She

274
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,280
Speaker 2: will be staying here in our house for the time

275
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,240
Speaker 2: being and seeing a therapist while she still gets the

276
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,120
Speaker 2: benefit of being married to me. Bye South Carolina law.

277
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,960
Speaker 2: We will have to live apart for a year before

278
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 2: we can file for the divorce, but she will be

279
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,720
Speaker 2: leaving relatively soon. We have agreed to do mediation instead

280
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,320
Speaker 2: of having lawyers involved to save us money and fighting.

281
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 2: We still get along well enough. She has agreed that

282
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,000
Speaker 2: she will not pursue alimony, and I think she will

283
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 2: be giving me full custody of our daughter if the

284
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,280
Speaker 2: courts accept it, but with her still getting as much

285
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,760
Speaker 2: visitation as possible. I won't try to harm her in

286
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,840
Speaker 2: this process. And although I love you all for all

287
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,760
Speaker 2: the support and everything you have done for me, you

288
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,520
Speaker 2: don't know me and you don't know her. She's not

289
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,960
Speaker 2: a terrible person. I truly believe she's telling me the

290
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,240
Speaker 2: truth and won't try to harm me either. It's gonna

291
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,040
Speaker 2: be rough for a long time, but we'll make it

292
00:12:55,080 --> 00:13:00,280
Speaker 2: through this. The most important thing for me right now

293
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,960
Speaker 2: is making sure our daughter is taken care of and

294
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,400
Speaker 2: that we do what's best for her. I appreciate you

295
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,480
Speaker 2: all more than you can know. Thanks for reading. Thanks

296
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 2: for everything. And there's a seventh update. It's been four

297
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,480
Speaker 2: years since I discovered that my ex wife was cheating

298
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,880
Speaker 2: on me. I've had many people ask for an update

299
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,199
Speaker 2: and decided it's finally time for one. After the day

300
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,600
Speaker 2: or two of activity that the last post took place

301
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,480
Speaker 2: in my ex Sheila and I spoke. She made promises

302
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,040
Speaker 2: to stop talking to the other guy, but of course

303
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 2: couldn't keep her promises. Within a month or two, after

304
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:37,200
Speaker 2: trying and failing counseling, Sheila moved out. She stayed with

305
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,960
Speaker 2: her lover, and they remained together to this day. I

306
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,600
Speaker 2: retained custody of our daughter and life went on. I

307
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,240
Speaker 2: went through a deep depression. I'm honestly surprised that I

308
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,320
Speaker 2: came out of the other side of it. I have

309
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,320
Speaker 2: you all, my daughter and my mother to think for that.

310
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,960
Speaker 2: We actually get along better now than we have since

311
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,560
Speaker 2: I discovered she was cheating. Not to say we're friends,

312
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,920
Speaker 2: but I've moved on and have stopped holding resentment for

313
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,200
Speaker 2: what she did to me. Believe in karma and feel

314
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,079
Speaker 2: like she's gotten hers. She hasn't had an easy life

315
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,520
Speaker 2: these past four years. I have not stopped resenting her

316
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 2: for being a bad mother, but I've accepted that I

317
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 2: can't fix that. Instead, I'm focused on being the best

318
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,040
Speaker 2: father I can for my daughter. She just turned eight

319
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 2: and is the most amazing child anyone could ask for.

320
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 2: I've actually just come out of a two year relationship

321
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,720
Speaker 2: that didn't end badly, but we're just going our separate ways,

322
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 2: and for the first time in my life, I'm happy

323
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,640
Speaker 2: and excited for my life as a single man. My

324
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 2: life isn't perfect, but it's as good as it's ever been.

325
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,600
Speaker 2: Thank you so much to everyone that helped me through

326
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,360
Speaker 2: the hardest part of my life. I'll never forget you.

327
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 2: To anyone going through a difficult time, it gets better.

328
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 2: Make it to the other side. It's worth it.

329
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 5: I promise is not just so true. It's worth it.

330
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,520
Speaker 4: You'll make it over and then you'll be so much better.

331
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,720
Speaker 3: And then he's coming great.

332
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 2: A stranger introduced himself as my real father, but I

333
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 2: already have one.

334
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,760
Speaker 5: I don't have any father. He left me at nine

335
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:01,400
Speaker 5: years old.

336
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 2: The trigger warning is mentions of He claims that he

337
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 2: was married to my mom before my dad, and she

338
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,120
Speaker 2: left him for my dad. He says this happened while

339
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,680
Speaker 2: she was pregnant with me, and she put my dad

340
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 2: on the birth certificate, and they my parents and grandfather

341
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 2: used their power and money to make sure he couldn't

342
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 2: stay in contact with me. He also claims when I

343
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,600
Speaker 2: was five, he tried again and my dad stopped him.

344
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 2: He says he is just now contacting me because with

345
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 2: my granddad's tragic passing last year, it is safe now.

346
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from user and non

347
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,640
Speaker 2: tw and if you want to submit your own stories,

348
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,440
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota,

349
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 2: I'm shak and I'm Keon and uh, we're gonna try

350
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,680
Speaker 2: to give our best advice, but nobody's perfect. If I think, uh,

351
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,920
Speaker 2: we should do something different or say something different, let

352
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 2: us know in the comments. OHP says, here's the issues

353
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:03,360
Speaker 2: with this man story. He had no documentation, although he

354
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 2: promised to show me and suggested he'd bring some to

355
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 2: my apartment that he knows the location of. I am

356
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,720
Speaker 2: also twenty, so why now. My dad is a nonviolent man.

357
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 2: I can't see him breaking anyone's fingers. So he never

358
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,560
Speaker 2: spanked me when I was a kid and was always

359
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 2: the pushover parent. My grandpa traded stocks. He was hardly

360
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,160
Speaker 2: a mafia kingpin. He that actually in the mafia. H

361
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,000
Speaker 2: don't know. My parents were childhood sweethearts and are still

362
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,280
Speaker 2: crazy about each other. In addition to being decent people,

363
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,680
Speaker 2: he also kept commenting on my money, saying I looked

364
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 2: like a banker wearing jeans and a button up, asking

365
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: if my dad gave me my watch and how much

366
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 2: my bike cost. He did tell me his name and

367
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 2: his number and showed his license, and I'm considering running

368
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,920
Speaker 2: a background check, but my parents see my expenses in

369
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 2: his favor, I do look like him. I think old

370
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 2: humans look like I've never seen my parents' wedding pictures.

371
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,600
Speaker 2: He didn't seem insane. He knew a lot of information

372
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,919
Speaker 2: that would be hard to find about my family. He

373
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 2: mentioned a coat I had as a kid. I'm an

374
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 2: only child, and my mom said they never got so

375
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 2: lucky as to have another. I don't know. I would

376
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 2: usually ask my parents, but my mom just got diagnosed

377
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,639
Speaker 2: with breast and I don't want to worry her or

378
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 2: my dad that some psycho is trying to swindle me

379
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 2: or pester or harm me.

380
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, tell your parents that I'm none has told

381
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,679
Speaker 6: you he's your father.

382
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 2: This is a real kind of getting the parents involved.

383
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 2: The situation.

384
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 6: If my daughter, which I assume I have, yeah, if

385
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 6: my daughter the next movie, you for sure have a

386
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 6: daughter in the next movie.

387
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 5: What movie are you talking?

388
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 2: It's okay, it's okay.

389
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 6: Oh oh they If my daughter found out or I

390
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,520
Speaker 6: don't know how the strange man come up to her

391
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,040
Speaker 6: and see, I'm your dad, take me in or whatever

392
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 6: he wants, I'd expect her to come right to me

393
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 6: and see Da. A strange man told me he's Mada,

394
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,199
Speaker 6: aren't you Mada, And I'd say, of course, I'm your Da,

395
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 6: thank you for telling me, and then I'll go.

396
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 5: See what's up. You know what it is.

397
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 6: It's just like at that moment when they gave me

398
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 6: the potion to turn me into human.

399
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 2: Shreds, a few hot shreds, and then.

400
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 5: Prince Charming tried to steal my life. It's just like that.

401
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 2: It basically is Edit number one. I called my real

402
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 2: dad first, deciding that he was a better call than

403
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 2: fake Dad or the cops until I assessed the situation.

404
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 2: I asked if he knew this guy. He responded by

405
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,640
Speaker 2: asking if I was at my apartment. When I said yes,

406
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 2: he said he'd be there in half an hour. Crap,

407
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 2: this isn't good. And there's another edit. He is my

408
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 2: biological father, my dad, and my mom showed up. He

409
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 2: said it was more her story than his, and apparently

410
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 2: when they were married he was harmful, and when she

411
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 2: told him she filed for divorce, it did not end well.

412
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: She decided promptly that he would never get near enough

413
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 2: to hurt her child. Her childhood best friend offered to

414
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,439
Speaker 2: marry her. This is all pretty convoluted. My life and

415
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 2: parents are a lot different than they were this morning,

416
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 2: and there are some comments what happened after your parents came.

417
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 2: I opened the door, and I was surprised to see

418
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 2: my mom, although I should have known he wouldn't come alone,

419
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: both because that's not how they do things, and because

420
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 2: on Tuesdays at that time he's usually home between business

421
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 2: and racquetball. We greet my mom, hugs me. My dad

422
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 2: just puts his hand on my cheek and says that

423
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,400
Speaker 2: I'm everything he could want in a son. I say, so,

424
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,359
Speaker 2: who is that guy? My mom says, I'll start at

425
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: the beginning. I met him when I was nineteen. He

426
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 2: was a moody violinist.

427
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 5: And did she every time those moody violinists?

428
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 6: If Yola almost married the violinist? No, he got burned

429
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 6: up by a dragon. Oh, he thought he could charm

430
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 6: the dry with a little violin.

431
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,439
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you guys have looked past that and

432
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 2: have come to be friends.

433
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 6: Well, she's got a much higher body count than I do.

434
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 2: Oh I've only got one.

435
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 6: She's had many other relationships, although short lived because they

436
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 6: usually fiery. However, I support women, and I know that

437
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 6: she's allowed to have a history.

438
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 2: That's true, and your mama's a history. Don't let anyone

439
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 2: tell you Shrek doesn't support.

440
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,439
Speaker 5: I support women.

441
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 6: I support women's rights and women's wrongs which don't exist

442
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 6: because women are never wrong.

443
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 5: That's what Fiona tells me.

444
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 2: It's a good Shrek.

445
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 5: That's the key to a happy marriage. Your wife is

446
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,120
Speaker 5: never wrong. So she's just confused. But don't tell her that.

447
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 2: I met this moody violinist and it seemed the right

448
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 2: amount of rebellion to fall in love with him. I

449
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 2: was hardly the type to date a drummer. And then

450
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 2: it unfolded. By the end, me and my mom are crying.

451
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,719
Speaker 2: My dad is holding her arm, and I don't know

452
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 2: why why this bothered me, but I asked if they

453
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 2: were in love. My dad said, I've loved your mother

454
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 2: since I was five years old, but we're both so stubborn.

455
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,919
Speaker 2: It may have taken us forty years to realize it

456
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 2: if we hadn't become a family to protect you. Lovely,

457
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 2: that is lovely. We were going to get a divorce

458
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 2: when you were two, but we were so happy neither

459
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 2: of us brought it up. Then we all laughed a little,

460
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 2: and I'm heading there for dinner in a few hours.

461
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: It's a screwed up situation, but my family is still

462
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 2: my family, and I'm a lucky guy. Did your dad

463
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 2: really meet him? Yes, my dad said. When I was little,

464
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 2: my mom caught him watching us in the park and

465
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 2: promptly ushered me into the car. He came to the apartment,

466
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 2: and she went down to the lobby. He cornered her,

467
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 2: and when his charm said, I gave you such a

468
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 2: fine son. He's got my looks, doesn't he. I think

469
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 2: the least you owe me is a few hours, he

470
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: got aggressive and had to be escorted out by security.

471
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: He was waiting for my dad outside his office the

472
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 2: next day. My dad is angry, but listens to him.

473
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 2: Go on, give a man an other rope. He always says,

474
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 2: Then he mentions money. He's been deprived of his son.

475
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 2: If this continues, reparation only seems fair.

476
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 6: He's trying to buy your son, but I suppose he's

477
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,400
Speaker 6: trying to sell the other way around.

478
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 2: He's trying to say, give me some money because I

479
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 2: haven't been able to be with my son. He's pulling

480
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 2: reverse child supports. Do they have reverse child support? No?

481
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 6: In mid Yeah, I've never asked because I take care

482
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 6: of my children like a real man slash sugar.

483
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 5: Also, I don't have money for the kids. Do the dishes.

484
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 2: She's got the income. It's okay, Shrek. We don't think

485
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: any less of you.

486
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 5: I don't think any less of me. She's the breadwinner.

487
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 2: My dad decided that you can't stalk his family and

488
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 2: shake around his wife with loose threats. So he told

489
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 2: him that he will never give him a dime or

490
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 2: let him ruin his son. And how did your parents

491
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: get married? Well, my parents claim they married his friends

492
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 2: to give me a name other than his, and to

493
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 2: father to make it difficult should that guy ever attempt

494
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 2: to use me as leverage. Then they fell in love. Originally,

495
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 2: they planned to divorce after a respectable time frame, but

496
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 2: they found marriage suited them. And how are your parents now?

497
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: They've always been best friends. There's a picture on our

498
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,479
Speaker 2: mantle of them at five years old. Their nannies used

499
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 2: to let them play together. They were never romantic, they

500
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,120
Speaker 2: both claimed. My mom says her father was so severe

501
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: and unemotional that she never would have risked the person

502
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 2: closest to her for mere dating. Then they got married

503
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 2: to protect me, and they're madly in love. They have

504
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 2: lunch together every day. I remember as a kid being

505
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: embarrassed by how much they touched that. During a sleepover,

506
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 2: We'd walk out and they'd just be reading with his

507
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 2: head in her lap. They are very happy. Honestly, this

508
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: story seems completely out of nature for him. He's really

509
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 2: mild mannered and never raised a hand to me. My

510
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 2: mom is the more serious partner. Why are there no

511
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: half siblings? Well, my dad is infertile. They tried for

512
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 2: years to have another baby and it never happened. And

513
00:23:59,160 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 2: there's an update?

514
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 5: Is this beautiful?

515
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 6: Who's this man who tried to come in and ruin

516
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 6: all of U?

517
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 5: Because I won't tell him some strong words?

518
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 6: I could be scary when I want to, just because

519
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 6: I'm married and I have three kids.

520
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 5: Doesn't mean I can't be scary. I know what. I

521
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 5: frighten the man.

522
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. I've seen it. I've seen you put

523
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 2: the fear in their eyes.

524
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 6: I look at them and I say, this is the

525
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 6: part of well you run and they run away.

526
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: It's right.

527
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 5: I tell that to this man, and he run away too.

528
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 2: I would also tell this man to run away because

529
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: he's lying to you about your parents.

530
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 5: Probably wouldn't work for you. You look too normal. Thank

531
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 5: You're very frightening.

532
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's a compliment for me.

533
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 6: Well, it was an insult, but you can take it

534
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 6: as a compliment.

535
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 2: I'll take it as the update Boblet. My question got

536
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: an amazing amount of replies, and I appreciate it so

537
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: not being a butt, I decided to give a final

538
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 2: update before I go back to my usual account. After

539
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,919
Speaker 2: a lot of thought, I've decided that all issues aside.

540
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: I simply have no interest in this man who has

541
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 2: my jaw and some shared DNA. I'm a junior at

542
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 2: NYU doing a dual major and overload this semester. Between

543
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 2: that and lining up internships, I barely have time to sleep.

544
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: I have a great family and couldn't ask for better.

545
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 2: I was never the kid who wished his parents were

546
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 2: anyone else except maybe Batman. When I was nine, shout out,

547
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 2: I wish I had more time for them than once

548
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 2: a week dinner and phone calls. I don't wish I

549
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: had some extra father figure, and I've got enough friends.

550
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 2: If he were a decent man, I might feel like

551
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 2: I owe it to him, But considering the fact that

552
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,880
Speaker 2: his actions resulted in this, and if my mom had stayed,

553
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 2: I would have been raised in a harmful home, likely

554
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: mistreated myself. I don't feel bad about this, just relieved.

555
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 2: I Also, for those worried about any possible truth from

556
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 2: fake real Dad asked my dad if I could see

557
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 2: any of the paperwork on my bio Dad, who was

558
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 2: swage curiosity, and he assuaged it. The divorce papers were

559
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: in there, the restraining order, and even evidences of the Yeah,

560
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 2: he is a dirt pickle.

561
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 5: MM, dirt pickle. The only place to find a pickle

562
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,400
Speaker 5: he's got you wipe off the dirt.

563
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 2: Your swamp must be very briny in a city.

564
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,360
Speaker 5: Oh, it's soul vinegar.

565
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 2: He just throw some cukes into the swamp.

566
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 5: They flow out themselves.

567
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 2: Bury him in the dirt, and then you dig them

568
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 2: up a little later.

569
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 5: I don't even have to dig them up. They'll float

570
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 5: when they're ready.

571
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: That's right, that's how they work. Have you considered turning

572
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 2: that into a business.

573
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 6: I thought it, but I don't know if I've got

574
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 6: the you know, I don't know if I'm cut for entrepreneurship.

575
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 5: It's a lot of work. Baffionna thinks I should get

576
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 5: a hobby.

577
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the pickles could be a very well

578
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: spring for you.

579
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 5: She thinks I'm too focused on my father leaving me

580
00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 5: at nine years old.

581
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 2: You could start providing some some income, and then maybe

582
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,719
Speaker 2: you'd feel better about her rich parents, you know, if

583
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 2: you Oh sorry, thank you Shrek. So he was waiting

584
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: this man at my usual coffee shop today, and I

585
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 2: will now be finding a new one. Basically, he was

586
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: pushy and a butthole. He never once admitted any kind

587
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 2: of wrongdoing or anything. I ended the conversation by saying,

588
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: thank you for contacting me, but I'm happy in life

589
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: right now. If I ever change my mind, i'll contact you.

590
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 2: He then got this weird look of outraged indignity and

591
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 2: said that I was an ungrateful little beaster, and that

592
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 2: if he were richer than my dad, I'd be on

593
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 2: my knees. Then he said that without him, I wouldn't exist,

594
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 2: said I was his only son, and he wished he

595
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 2: didn't have one. Heck, he wished he didn't have a daughter,

596
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: as she was just as ungrateful. He said a lot more.

597
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 2: But that's the gist of it. I have a dad

598
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 2: and it ain't this joker. I may look up the

599
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 2: sister at some point in the future when I have

600
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 2: the time and mindset to explore that, although she's probably

601
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: just a kid, and there are some comments regarding Op's safety. Unfortunately,

602
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 2: I think the best thing is for me to take

603
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 2: up my dad's offer of a car and driver until

604
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 2: all of this settles. I will also be moving into

605
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 2: a rental property we own because it has tighter access.

606
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 7: I e.

607
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 2: A doorman who has to admit you.

608
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 5: A doorman, You've got gump. He's not a doorman. He

609
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 5: lets everyone in.

610
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: You have ginger, does doesn't he?

611
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 5: A person walks up and says, oh, I'm here to

612
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 5: see Shrek.

613
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 6: He says, oh, I can't do it, donkey impression, but

614
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 6: he just lets him in.

615
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 5: I said, Donkey, what are you doing? You're right?

616
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,719
Speaker 6: And then strangers into my house and she says, all,

617
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 6: but a stranger is just a friend.

618
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 5: You haven't net yet. What does that mean?

619
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: That's nice. We were strangers until we met.

620
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're not friends.

621
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 6: Well, yeah, it sounds just like donkey. Next thing you'll know,

622
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 6: you'll be staying in my house, eating my rats, playing

623
00:28:58,360 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 6: with but you'll dre.

624
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 2: I will not be eating your rats, sleeping with my wife.

625
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: Not no ice. No, you've got a shifty Oh no,

626
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 2: it's okay, Shreke, It's okay, it's okay.

627
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 5: I've got by Ay, he's on you.

628
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 2: So I honestly should have been in a nicer apartment anyway,

629
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 2: just on the off chance someone finds out my parent's

630
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 2: worth and thinks my place would be nice to case

631
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: about the sister. Yeah, I won't contact him about it.

632
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 2: I'll have a routine background check and she should show up.

633
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 2: I honestly don't know what to do about it or

634
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: how to go about it. What if her life is horrible,

635
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: I don't really have any power to change it. What

636
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 2: if she's like eight and lives across the country. It

637
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 2: seems doubtful we'd connect on any meaningful level. I can

638
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: only assume she has a caregiver and hope it's a

639
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 2: good one. Honestly, contact for me won't do much if

640
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,959
Speaker 2: she was in a bad situation. I'm a twenty year

641
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: old kid who's income until my first trust opens is

642
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 2: entirely dependent on my parents, and I'm not even legally

643
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: her brother. It's all word of mouth. I guess. The

644
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: main point I see is no no need to rush,

645
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 2: even if she's in a less than tenable place. There's

646
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 2: little I can do to change anything about the biofather.

647
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: I am dismissing my biological father because he's a butt

648
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 2: to me. Shared experiences are what bond people anyway. That's

649
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 2: why I love my parents, not because of money or blood.

650
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: I have no interest in a relationship with this guy.

651
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: If he hadn't been harmful, we would have had an

652
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 2: obligated lunch, but I still wouldn't truly want to form

653
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: a relationship. I would just feel obligated to this stranger.

654
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: I just don't want to start something until I've considered

655
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 2: the implications. This could be just as negative in the

656
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: girl's life as it could be positive. It's also possible

657
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: that she might be in contact with my biodad, who

658
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: I want nothing to do with. Let me adjust your facts.

659
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: Biodad did not live near poverty line. He was middle class,

660
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 2: an amazing violinist who taught in the city and did

661
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: very well. Also, my mom had access to her trust

662
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 2: fund during the marriage and contributed a large amount to

663
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: household income. Their marriage lasted two years, not counting the separation,

664
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 2: and there is a final update here. Okay, six months later,

665
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 2: that's a long time. Today I met my sister.

666
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 5: Whoa, didn't you just say that. You went on the

667
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 5: whole thing about how you weren't going to meet your sister.

668
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 2: I guess they changed their mind, shrek.

669
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 6: Oh, everyone's changing their minds these days. My mind's only

670
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 6: been changed once twice, maybe three times, three times if

671
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 6: you count the time I changed my mind. About how

672
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 6: many times I've changed my mind? First time, Donkey, second time, Fiona,

673
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 6: never changed my mind.

674
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: After that, never changed the fourth one, and then the

675
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 2: upcoming fifth.

676
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 5: One didn't change my mind.

677
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they're changing the script.

678
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 5: He don't talk about that.

679
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that was insensitive.

680
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 5: I've had you write and then da, I'm.

681
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: Sorry that was insensitive.

682
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 5: Thank you for apologizing. I appreciate that.

683
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 2: So I took some time, but eventually curiosity got the

684
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: best of me. She's seventeen and her background is completely

685
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: different than mine. We corresponded a little on the internet,

686
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 2: but met today and I drove two hours and there's

687
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: a little bit more story here. Let's finish it off

688
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: with is goal. She seemed like a nice girl, but

689
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 2: I didn't feel like any wow we're related moments or

690
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 2: a strong sense of kinship. Maybe I don't know how

691
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 2: siblings are supposed to feel. I don't know. Mostly it

692
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 2: was awkward. Me and seventeen year old girls don't have

693
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: a lot in common, she said. I reminded her of

694
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 2: someone on Gossip Girl and owned Justin bieber CDEs. But

695
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 2: she did reinforce my belief that I'm doing right by

696
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: not connecting with my biodad. He hasn't seen her son

697
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: and hasn't contacted her in a year. So I just

698
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 2: wanted to let those of you who helped me out

699
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: last year, no thanks, guys. And on meeting the half sister,

700
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: I'm a whole twenty one years old now, full of

701
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 2: vain wisdom and false prophecy.

702
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 5: I got prophecy.

703
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: No, it's false prophecy.

704
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 5: Why is it false? Well, is he like to see

705
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 5: the Cassandra?

706
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, he is.

707
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 5: Oh what I that makes sense?

708
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 2: Then, Shrek, you're more cultured than you let on.

709
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 6: Well, I've read one page of another book.

710
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: We've got two pages now, page you rascal. I like scamp.

711
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 2: I like you keep things close to the vast time.

712
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: I do.

713
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 5: But I'm working on it. I'm working on it. It's stuff.

714
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 2: I guess. It's not just age, although I am the

715
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 2: youngest in my friend group, but upbringing too. She's uninformed

716
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 2: about so much. She's also really into yolo and partying

717
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: and drama. She's nice, just really different. And that is

718
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 2: the end of that story. Hey y'all, it's John Ogi

719
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 2: host here.

720
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

721
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as.

722
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 2: For more sponsors.

723
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 4: My sister lied about my husband to justify her hate

724
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 4: for him.

725
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 2: God, let me hate roll through you.

726
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 4: I thirty female, recently got married and had a baby.

727
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 4: My sister twenty four does not like my husband and

728
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 4: will not tell me why.

729
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 2: That's so annoying every time.

730
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Stale Waffel fry and

731
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

732
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota,

733
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 4: I'm Riley, and we'll try to give our best advice.

734
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 4: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so

735
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 4: if you have, let us know your take in the comments.

736
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 4: And Opie says when I first brought him home to

737
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 4: introduce everyone, she was stand offish, but that's typical for

738
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 4: her since she doesn't really like people. She has very

739
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 4: few friends, never brings anyone home to meet the family,

740
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 4: and has never wanted to spend time with anyone I've

741
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 4: brought home. Before my husband and I got married, I

742
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 4: asked her if she had any issues with him. She

743
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 4: said no, and that he seemed nice. I asked her

744
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: to be my maid of honor and thought all was well.

745
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 4: Fast forward to last week. My husband went to trop

746
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 4: off something at the family home where my sister lives

747
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 4: with my parents. He came back looking shaken. When I

748
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 4: asked what happened, he said he knocked and went into

749
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 4: the kitchen, where my sister told him my parents weren't home.

750
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,919
Speaker 4: He tried to give her the food I had asked

751
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 4: him to drop off, but she told him to put

752
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 4: it in the garage, even though they were standing in

753
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 4: the kitchen. Okay, As he was picking this stuff back

754
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 4: up to leave, he tried making small talk about the weather.

755
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 4: She snapped at him, saying, don't effing talk to me,

756
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 4: and stormed out of the room. My husband has never

757
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 4: given me reason to worry about him being inappropriate, but

758
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 4: that was where my mind first went. Why is that

759
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 4: where your mind, Bruce went?

760
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 2: Because it's like, why would they have such an extreme reaction?

761
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: It would have to be something extreme.

762
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 4: I mean, it sounds like she's just a hater.

763
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like if it is just coming from

764
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: absolutely nowhere, But it's like if you're operating under the

765
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 2: condition where it's like, well, clearly there's something that happened,

766
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: and it's not just my sister being awful to my

767
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: husband for no reason.

768
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 4: We lived nearby and he had been gone for less

769
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 4: than five minutes. I called my sister to ask what happened,

770
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 4: and she hung up on me. I message her and

771
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 4: she ignored me until this morning, when I bombarded her

772
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 4: phone with messages because I wanted to resolve whatever was

773
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 4: going on. She finally replied and basically says she hates him,

774
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 4: always has hated him, and her only boundary is that

775
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 4: he never talks to her.

776
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: Oh, my only boundary is that your husband never acknowledges

777
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 2: my existence and we never speak. That's a very reasonable

778
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 2: boundary to have with your brother in law. Great for

779
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 2: no reason other than like, just at this point, it

780
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 2: seems like the only thing is that she wants him

781
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 2: to be her husband and does not know how to

782
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 2: process that information.

783
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:44,479
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe she was just like, Wow, I don't.

784
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 2: Talk to me. I wish you were my husband, and

785
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 2: now so I'm gonna make it miserable to be around

786
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 2: me whenever y'all are near me. I don't know, that's

787
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 2: just my guess.

788
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 4: In the seven years that we have been together, they've

789
00:36:56,360 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 4: spoken maybe five times, mostly just him greeting her. I

790
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 4: asked her why, and she said she doesn't need a reason.

791
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 4: She just doesn't like him and doesn't want him around.

792
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 4: I asked her point blank if he had ever done

793
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 4: or said something to make her feel that way, and

794
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 4: she said he didn't do anything and that she doesn't

795
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 4: need a reason to feel how she does.

796
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 2: Wow, she's got a crush.

797
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 6: On your husband grade aid grade a hater, or she's just.

798
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 2: Jealous that you're married first, or die, I don't know

799
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 2: what it is. Whatever it is, professional hater.

800
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 4: My family is very close. My other sibling, brother twenty nine,

801
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,479
Speaker 4: and I sometimes drop by unannounced to help my mom

802
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 4: cook dinner or just hang out, and my parents encourage

803
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 4: this because they like having us around. I told her

804
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 4: it's going to be weird if he can't even greet

805
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 4: her when we come over. She said she was sick

806
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 4: of me having a stranger in her home. I told

807
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 4: her I didn't realize she felt that way about him,

808
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 4: and said I wouldn't ask him to drop stuff off

809
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 4: without me being around anymore. Mind you, She's had seven

810
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 4: years to get to know him, and I didn't realize

811
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 4: she still considered him a stranger. She said that wasn't

812
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 4: the point. She didn't want him talking to her at all,

813
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 4: and that was the boundary she wanted respected. I told

814
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 4: her I would tell him and try to keep them apart,

815
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 4: but that would mean her time with my son, her

816
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,800
Speaker 4: nephew six months old, would be affected because my husband

817
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 4: will not be comfortable with our son being around someone

818
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 4: who hates him. And also, by her own words, a stranger.

819
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 2: Apparently literally a complete stranger that you've known for seven years.

820
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 4: Frankly, I'm now uncomfortable with it too, because I don't

821
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 4: know what ideas she might try to put in his head.

822
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 4: It's also going to affect my parents' time with him,

823
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 4: because if my husband can't bring him around, it's going

824
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 4: to limit how often he goes over there. I didn't

825
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 4: tell her this, but it hurt hurts my heart because

826
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 4: they absolutely adore my son. He's their first and only

827
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 4: grandchild so far, and they love spending time with him,

828
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 4: always telling us to bring him over. She said, I

829
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 4: was playing the victim, painting her as a witch and

830
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 4: trying to trample the only boundary she has set for herself.

831
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 4: I'm currently thoroughly lost and trying to figure out the

832
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 4: best way forward. Am I the a hole here? And

833
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 4: is there any way I can fix this situation? We

834
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 4: have an edit.

835
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: It's so crazy that she's trying to act like it's like, well,

836
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 2: my perfectly reasonable boundary is just being trampled over. It's like,

837
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 2: if that's your boundary you should expect to not have

838
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: a relationship with your sister.

839
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 4: Then my reasonable boundary that you never talk to me,

840
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 4: never speak say hi, don't look at me, don't come

841
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 4: to my house.

842
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 2: Don't acknowledge me, don't be in the same room as me.

843
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to have to see you anywhere. And yeah,

844
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 2: if honestly, you're being selfish for not accepting that as my.

845
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 4: Factory after seven years, Like I know that Opie knows

846
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 4: that she was never really like a fan of her husband,

847
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 4: but like seven years later and you haven't been, like,

848
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 4: what the heck before?

849
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: Now that's a long seed did jealousy?

850
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 4: You've got an edit. I never expected so many replies

851
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 4: in such a short time, but I appreciate the responses

852
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 4: to clarify a few things and answer some questions. I've

853
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 4: mentioned it to my parents and they're aware of what happened.

854
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 4: My mom said she'll sit my sister down for a conversation,

855
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 4: but from what I hear, my sister keeps making excuses

856
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 4: to avoid it. She's busy, tired, wanting more time, et cetera.

857
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 4: My dad says not to worry about it and it

858
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 4: will blow over. My dad had a heart attack recently

859
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 4: and is currently recovering, so I don't want to push

860
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 4: it with them right now and stress him out. I

861
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 4: left it at that with him and changed the subject.

862
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 4: My partner is amazing and has never given me reason

863
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 4: to worry about him being around any females. I admit

864
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 4: I was worried he had done something when he told

865
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 4: me how she responded, because I can't wrap my brain

866
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 4: around why she would just blow up over small talk.

867
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 4: But she herself said he didn't do anything. I know

868
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 4: my brother has had partners, but he hasn't brought any home.

869
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 4: I myself didn't bring anyone home until I was serious

870
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 4: about them and thought there might be a future. I

871
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 4: brought home a grand total of two guys, my current

872
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 4: partner and my ex from college. Regarding her mental health,

873
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 4: she has always had a bad temper and has snapped

874
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 4: at me many times with no apology, even when she

875
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 4: realized later she was wrong, like when she accused me

876
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 4: of taking her shoes, which she had actually just left

877
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 4: in her vehicle. There has never been anything on this

878
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 4: level before. We have some comments, but you sounded like

879
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 4: you had something.

880
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 2: Taking your shoes. You're just looking for a fight. You

881
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:45,760
Speaker 2: took my shoes.

882
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 4: I know you took my shoes, So that's like such

883
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 4: a sibling thing for like sisters to just be like,

884
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 4: I'm righting your shoes. Yeah, I mean they fight about

885
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 4: it too, but like.

886
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 2: I guess that makes sense. I don't know. I don't

887
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:58,839
Speaker 2: have any siblings.

888
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 4: The two only children have been getting all the simple

889
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 4: story siblings stories.

890
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sticking to my bang bangs. She's just deeply

891
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,879
Speaker 2: upset that you are making your life with this other

892
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 2: person and cannot handle it, and so the way that

893
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 2: she's dealing with it is by making it everyone else's problem.

894
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I still can't tell. It's like it's gotta be

895
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 4: she's either like secretly like crushing on husband or she

896
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 4: just like really wants a relationship and really wants to

897
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: be like at that point. Yeah. Top comments this is

898
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 4: very weird. You should speak with your mom and other

899
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 4: brother see if sister has disclosed reasoning or if she

900
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 4: has otherwise been paranoid. Okay, introduction says it reads like

901
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 4: jealousy to me. To be honest, maybe she feels like

902
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 4: he's taking her away from the family, but if he's

903
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 4: done nothing to her and she won't give a reason.

904
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 4: If I were Opie, I'd go low or no contact

905
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 4: with the sister family events, baby showers, parties, etc. Everyone

906
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 4: would be invited except for her. You don't want to

907
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 4: talk to my husband and we can't resolve this. Fine, Lol,

908
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 4: you're on your own. I don't entertain childness like this.

909
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 4: Another commentary says, can someone make a bot for what

910
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: a boundary really is? She can make a boundary that

911
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 4: she doesn't have to talk to him, or that she

912
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 4: will leave when he comes over, but not that he

913
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 4: can't talk to her. And since it's not her house,

914
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 4: I don't think she can make a boundary that he

915
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 4: can't come over either. A boundary is an action you take,

916
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 4: not an action you impose on others. For example, a

917
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 4: healthy expression of a boundary healthy in quotes because she

918
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 4: needs help is if he comes over, I will go

919
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 4: to my room. If he talks to me, I will

920
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 4: leave and go for a walk. Vinegar Girl says, thank you.

921
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 4: This isn't a boundary but a control tactic. She's trying

922
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 4: to undermine OPI's relationship and cast aspersions unless there's something

923
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 4: Opie isn't telling us. Not the a whole sister is

924
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 4: behaving really weirdly and comes across as bitter and divisive.

925
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 4: We have an update, but yeah, those comments were cooking.

926
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 2: Cook So yeah, I think you need to stand on

927
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: business and go you know what's sister, that's not gonna happen. Yeah,

928
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: my husband are parents, their son in law. He's going

929
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: to be around. He's the father of my child, so

930
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 2: he's going to be around. And if you have a

931
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 2: problem with him only because what you just don't like him, yeah,

932
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 2: that's on you.

933
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 4: To handle the whole like not inviting her to party things.

934
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 4: I feel like you can still invite her, but you

935
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 4: can just be like and you can come, but my

936
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 4: husband's going to be there. Yeah, and he's not leaving.

937
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 4: So pick we have an update to clarify. The only

938
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 4: reason I considered my husband might have done something is

939
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:47,760
Speaker 4: because I'm in healthcare in an environment where all sides

940
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: of all stories have to be looked at. My first

941
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 4: instinct was that she was being out of line for

942
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 4: no reason, but I always try to look at both sides.

943
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 4: Both he and she said that he didn't do anything,

944
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 4: and I I'm going with that. Growing up, my brother

945
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 4: was the golden child. Dad only wanted a son and

946
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 4: kept talking about his son and his legacy. My sister

947
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 4: was my mom's favorite. Something she would always say to us,

948
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 4: that's great. I was the oddball and my siblings and

949
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 4: I weren't really close until everyone was past fourteen or fifteen.

950
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:24,760
Speaker 4: Then we started finding shared interests. My dad has evolved

951
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 4: over the years and now makes all his children a priority.

952
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 2: That's really sad. Well, he at least he evolved.

953
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 4: At fourteen or fifteen he got three kids, dude. Evolution

954
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 4: shouldn't be having more kids if you're not happy of

955
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 4: they're girls.

956
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 2: The evolution of being a little bit.

957
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 4: Better, and my relationship with my mom has also improved significantly.

958
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,760
Speaker 4: My husband was beyond happy to marry into my family.

959
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 4: My parents treat him like their own son, and he

960
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 4: has said many times they feel more like family than

961
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 4: his own. He has three brothers, but he's the youngest

962
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 4: by ten years and felt left out a lot. He

963
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,240
Speaker 4: once told me he was excited to have a sister

964
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 4: in law, as he has none of his own and

965
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 4: isn't close with his brothers. This whole thing has him down,

966
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 4: and I feel horrible for even considering that he had

967
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 4: done anything inappropriate when I knew deep down he hadn't.

968
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 4: My sister told my dad she will sit down with

969
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 4: us to talk about it. This afternoon when I get

970
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 4: off work. So I'm waiting to hear what she says

971
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 4: in his presence. We'll update again after we talk. We

972
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 4: have the update after they've talked, let's hear that talk.

973
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 4: Spoke with my dad and sister a couple of hours ago.

974
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 4: My dad asked both of us what happened. I gave

975
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 4: my side, and she gave her side. My dad asked

976
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 4: her if she was sure she had no reason to

977
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 4: act that way. She said she had a reason, but

978
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 4: she didn't.

979
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: Want to say oh no no.

980
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 4: My dad said, well, we won't force anyone to share anything.

981
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 4: She then said, okay, she'll tell us why. She said,

982
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,720
Speaker 4: when she first met my husband, he asked her about

983
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 4: a guy, let's call him mister.

984
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 5: L mister loser, she said.

985
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 4: He asked her how mister Ell was doing. Then she

986
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 4: turns to me and goes, yeah, I know. You read

987
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 4: my diary, the guy I had a crush on and

988
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 4: wrote all my private thoughts about the first day your

989
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 4: husband met me. He asked me about him, and that

990
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 4: told me everything I needed to know about him. She

991
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 4: is old in a grust.

992
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, so, so your sister read your diary,

993
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,439
Speaker 2: talked about it with her husband, and you're now never

994
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 2: talking to him again, and.

995
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 4: We don't even know for sure that she read the diary.

996
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,760
Speaker 2: Girl, are you silly?

997
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:42,240
Speaker 5: Oh?

998
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 4: And yeah, here for some more information. I'm still flabbergasted

999
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 4: that she would say that, because first of all, I

1000
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 4: didn't even know she had a diary, and even if

1001
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,720
Speaker 4: I did, I would never have read it. So she didn't.

1002
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 4: The husband just brought up this dude that happened to

1003
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 4: be in her diary, and she was like, so you

1004
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 4: must have been talking about me and read my diary.

1005
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 4: Must have read my diary, so we it's crazyletly cut

1006
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 4: out the husband when.

1007
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 2: You are always looking for a confrontation. That's the kind

1008
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 2: of stuff you will see.

1009
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 4: She's been holding that grudge for seven years. That's insane.

1010
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 2: That is insane.

1011
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: I had a journal once and my cousin read it

1012
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 4: and teased me mercilessly. I would never wish that upon

1013
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 4: someone else. I was surprised at first. Then I got

1014
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 4: pissed because I realized she was making stuff up. She

1015
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 4: met my husband six years ago, a year after we

1016
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 4: had been dating. Two years ago, my sister went abroad

1017
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,399
Speaker 4: for a year for college. A friend of mine who

1018
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 4: started school late and was in the same program as

1019
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,959
Speaker 4: her was on the same trip. I recognized the name

1020
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 4: as the hot professor my friend came back gushing about.

1021
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 4: I asked my sister if that was the professor from

1022
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 4: the university, and she went, yes, you see, is that

1023
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 4: your confession? I asked her how my husband asked her

1024
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 4: six years ago about someone she only met two years Agooo,

1025
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 4: math is not.

1026
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 2: Adding got you?

1027
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 4: Got you there? You stop talking for a good minute,

1028
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 4: like her brain was buffering. Then she snapped at me

1029
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 4: that I just didn't understand how hard it was for

1030
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 4: her to keep having a stranger in her home and

1031
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 4: stormed off.

1032
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 2: Ah, we've moved the goalposts again.

1033
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're just mad that your reasoning was wrong. Still

1034
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 4: didn't have a valid reason, And now she's like, well,

1035
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 4: and it's something else that I lied.

1036
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: Now you're just mad. No one cares enough to read

1037
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 2: your diary, but I.

1038
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 4: Really wanted you to read my diary. Yeah, my son

1039
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 4: is going to grow up without getting to know his

1040
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 4: only aunt. But I cannot fix the situation that she

1041
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 4: is making up. Growing up, I was not an awesome sibling.

1042
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 4: There were petty arguments, stupid fights over stuff, like the

1043
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 4: TV remote, what to have for dinner, et cetera, which

1044
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 4: I've heard are fairly common sibling.

1045
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, fights, that seems pretty normal.

1046
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 4: But I thought we have I had a better relationship

1047
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 4: the last few years. We were setting each other memes,

1048
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 4: cracking jokes, took a few trips together, had dinners and lunches.

1049
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 4: She was my maid of honor at my wedding and

1050
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 4: visited me in the hospital every day I was there

1051
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 4: a emergency c section with complications. I was there for

1052
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 4: a whole week, and checked on me every day postpartum

1053
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 4: for the first couple months. I'm still hoping this can

1054
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 4: somehow be fixed, but if she's making up lies and

1055
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 4: unwilling to communicate, I don't see what I can do.

1056
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 4: And we have a quick edit. I think I asked

1057
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 4: my husband about it. He doesn't remember asking her anything

1058
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 4: about any guy. He doesn't recognize that name at all.

1059
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 4: My husband and sister never dated. Since so many people

1060
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 4: are asking, and yes, I know for a fact the

1061
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 4: areas he went to school and work are far from

1062
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 4: where we are and the way we were raised, we

1063
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 4: didn't go out much. Yes, my husband is a different

1064
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 4: race from us, but I would like to think my

1065
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 4: sister isn't discriminatory. We are Asian and he's black. We

1066
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 4: have another edit, but anything else before we.

1067
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: Got a good hope to have for your sister.

1068
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,280
Speaker 4: I would certainly hope.

1069
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 2: I would hope.

1070
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 4: So she's just making stuff up edit too. I see

1071
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 4: a lot of people calling her discriminatory. I didn't think

1072
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 4: it was that because my ex was Asian and she

1073
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 4: didn't seem to like him either. But we were only

1074
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 4: together six more months after I introduced him to the family,

1075
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,919
Speaker 4: so they didn't interact much. My family at its core

1076
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:29,320
Speaker 4: is Asian, starting with my grandparents, but over the years

1077
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 4: there has been a lot of mixing. She gets along

1078
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,399
Speaker 4: with my cousin who's half black and half Asian, and

1079
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 4: his wife who was black. Regarding the mental health, I've

1080
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 4: brought up her anger issues in the past, and she

1081
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 4: doesn't want to try any type of therapy or evaluation.

1082
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 4: She's a grown woman and as long as she isn't

1083
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 4: a direct threat to herself or exhibiting violence to others,

1084
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 4: it is completely her choice. Some people are mad that

1085
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 4: I used the word female. Odd thing to be mad about.

1086
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, people get mad whenever you say female. That

1087
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 8: was the whole first year I was here with Sophia.

1088
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 4: She was like, instead of what, instead of women?

1089
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 8: Like my female friends. I would say that. She's like, no,

1090
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 8: it's a woman, my woman, woman woman.

1091
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, would they get mad if you said girls?

1092
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:15,879
Speaker 5: It might like.

1093
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 2: No, no, just like female.

1094
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,439
Speaker 8: It's more like object I guess we call him male too. Yeah,

1095
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 8: my male friends. I don't objectify women. I support them.

1096
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 4: Go Riley a hard a thing to be mad about.

1097
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 4: I use the words male and female on a regular basis,

1098
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 4: never known it to be an issue. I have a

1099
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 4: third update to everyone, saying she needs therapy. I have

1100
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 4: suggested it to her in the past because she has

1101
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 4: some anger issues, but she always says no. And you

1102
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 4: cannot force someone to go to therapy. It has to

1103
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,280
Speaker 4: be their own choice. I spoke to my dad again

1104
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,240
Speaker 4: this morning. He said he'd tried talking to her again,

1105
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 4: but she's avoiding the topic. I told him not to

1106
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 4: worry about it, and that he and my mom are

1107
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 4: welcome at my place, but I wouldn't be coming around

1108
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,440
Speaker 4: as often to a place where I have safety concerns

1109
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 4: for my son and husband. Dad says he understands my

1110
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 4: mom is a bit pissed about the whole situation mostly

1111
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 4: about what my sister did, and back to my stance.

1112
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 4: My mom told me she asked her how she would

1113
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 4: feel if someone was treating my brother the same way

1114
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 4: she was treating my husband, and she threw a fit,

1115
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,399
Speaker 4: saying my mom was seriously trying to guilt her, which

1116
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 4: I take to mean she knows she was out of line,

1117
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 4: because why would you feel guilty if you hadn't done

1118
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 4: anything wrong? For those saying, I need to tell my

1119
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,760
Speaker 4: parents to punt her out, that is not an option.

1120
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 4: She just finished college and is looking for a job.

1121
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 4: She can't afford to move out even if she wanted to.

1122
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 4: We might be at odds now, but keep in mind

1123
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 4: this is my only sister. We were not the closest,

1124
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 4: but usually we're there for each other in the past.

1125
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,359
Speaker 4: Mad As I might be at her, I don't want

1126
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 4: to see her homeless. We have more, But what's she thinking?

1127
00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 2: It's time for your sister to know what it's like

1128
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:03,879
Speaker 2: to be called out and not bent for not bent

1129
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 2: towards stand firm, stand your ground.

1130
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like she's slowly realizing too, that no

1131
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:12,919
Speaker 4: one is on her side with this.

1132
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 2: Truly. I'm just glad she didn't say anything fake. That

1133
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 2: was like way worse.

1134
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, that'd be crazy. Let's see to the people mad

1135
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 4: about the whole race thing. I have twenty seven aunts

1136
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 4: and uncles. Yes, my grandparents were busy. My family is

1137
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 4: well and truly mixed. There's black, white, Hispanic, more Asian Filipino.

1138
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 4: If you can think of the race, it's probably mixed

1139
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 4: into my family. That's why I said, I didn't think

1140
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 4: it was because of his race. She seems to hate

1141
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 4: most people equally.

1142
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 2: She told me.

1143
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 4: She told him that he's the only one on her

1144
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 4: side and everyone is against her. However, he has made

1145
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 4: it clear that he is not taking sides. He is

1146
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 4: not going to change how he interacts with anyone and

1147
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,759
Speaker 4: is speaking to both of us. That's completely fine by me.

1148
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 4: He's her brother, and isolation probably won't help her in

1149
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:00,919
Speaker 4: any way.

1150
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 2: Fair enough, and.

1151
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 4: We've got some of Opie's comments. A commenter just heard

1152
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 4: your story on YouTube with fake updates that your parents

1153
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 4: are taking her side and you are going there without

1154
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 4: your husband because they pressure you just in case it

1155
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 4: goes anywhere near this. Don't stand by your husband. You

1156
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 4: do not need toxic family members. She is your only sister,

1157
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 4: but many people live their lives without ever having a sister.

1158
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 4: Your nuclear family is your husband and child. Now, to

1159
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 4: follow your thought process, you only have one husband, and

1160
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 4: by the way, she's probably into your husband. As someone

1161
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 4: said it finally.

1162
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:44,399
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you. I've been saying it the whole time, and.

1163
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 4: Opie responds, that's hilarious. The actual situation is not near that. No,

1164
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 4: my parents are trying to avoid taking sides, but both

1165
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 4: agree she's not making any sense and have acknowledged she

1166
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,040
Speaker 4: has anger issues, but without her being willing to go

1167
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 4: to therapy, they can't force her. We will be staying

1168
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 4: far away from her, but all other family is welcome

1169
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 4: at my place. And that's the end of that story.

1170
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1171
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My

1172
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 2: own family keeps treating me like an outsider, so I

1173
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:20,919
Speaker 2: stopped trying. Oh yeah, first thing I want to say

1174
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 2: is my parents have always been there for me and

1175
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 2: always willing to help if I need it. But there

1176
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: have been a few things, mainly from my mom, that

1177
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,360
Speaker 2: have made me feel like an outsider in my own

1178
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 2: family for years. Some things started when I was in

1179
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 2: high school, maybe even younger, so I want to start

1180
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 2: with a few of those before I get into the

1181
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 2: events of yesterday. By the way, this comes from user

1182
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 2: aware Quail eighty nine to fifty one, and if you

1183
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1184
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:48,839
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime separate it. I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and

1185
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 2: we give good advice goofiy, but at least we try.

1186
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 2: We're not always perfect. We haven't experienced every story that

1187
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 2: we read. But if you've gone through what we're reading,

1188
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 2: comet what you would have done. In the comments, Opie says,

1189
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,879
Speaker 2: when I was younger, one of my older cousins brought

1190
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 2: a girlfriend to family Christmas. I spent some time talking

1191
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 2: with her. As soon as we got into the car

1192
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 2: to leave, my mom asked, you didn't bore the girlfriend

1193
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 2: too bad, did you. Then there was another time I

1194
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: was at home while my mom was on the phone

1195
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 2: with one of her friends and ended up talking about

1196
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: my grandpa, who passed away when I was six. She

1197
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 2: stated he was very disappointed when I turned out to

1198
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 2: be a girl. I have three older sisters and my

1199
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 2: dad had one other living brother. She said this while

1200
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 2: I was just feet away from her. At what I'm sorry,

1201
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: but at what age is this happening?

1202
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 4: How old is Ope?

1203
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I don't know if we have.

1204
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 4: That either way that could have been.

1205
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 2: Those are two I'm not gonna lie. Those are two

1206
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 2: very small things. Your mom called you boring, and she

1207
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 2: was like Grandpa wanted a boy instead of a girl.

1208
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 2: Those are things that.

1209
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 4: Depending on how young you are, you can take them wrong.

1210
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 5: Though.

1211
00:57:57,040 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, years later, when I started dating my son's father

1212
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 2: and current partner, when I told her who I was dating,

1213
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 2: she said, isn't that family a little trashy? Funny? How

1214
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 2: I feel more accepted there than in my own family.

1215
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 2: I can't remember exactly when I found out about this

1216
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 2: first group, but it was around the time I had

1217
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 2: my son. For more contact on family dynamics. My family's Catholic,

1218
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 2: and I had my son before marriage. I was in

1219
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 2: the kitchen with my mom with her phone beside me

1220
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 2: when a message came through. The alert said mom and sisters,

1221
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 2: but guests who didn't get the message me, Oh, no,

1222
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 2: you're excluded from the family group chat. That's the first

1223
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 2: thing that's really upsetting that I've read so far in

1224
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 2: my opinion. When I asked about it, my mom just said,

1225
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 2: I don't think you want to be a part of it.

1226
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 2: They send a lot of messages or something similar, but

1227
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 2: something about it just hurt. There was also no effort

1228
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: to add me to it. Since then, I have been

1229
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 2: added to multiple family groups by other family members. My

1230
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 2: cousin on my dad's side added all of our cousins

1231
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 2: and my sisters to a message letting us know he

1232
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 2: was going to be in town. I wasn't included. As

1233
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 2: an afterthought, my aunt messaged all of us about a

1234
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 2: family reunion that would be happening this year. I didn't

1235
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 2: need to be added. Later, my great aunt made a

1236
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 2: Facebook group for our extended family and I was added

1237
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 2: right away. Then there's the fact that I have lived

1238
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 2: thirty minutes away from my parents for the past seven years,

1239
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 2: while all my other sisters lived within ten minutes. Now.

1240
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,160
Speaker 2: The only times they have visited was to help move,

1241
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 2: to help clean up after a tornado, and for some

1242
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 2: of my son's events. But my significant other's mom, despite

1243
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 2: not having much, visits almost once a month and lives

1244
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 2: in the same town as my parents. His dad passed

1245
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 2: away before my son was born. Some of his siblings

1246
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 2: ten altogether, have also made it over to see us.

1247
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 2: Out of my siblings, only my brother in law called

1248
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 2: to have me meet him in the park with my

1249
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 2: nephews when he was passing through town coming back from

1250
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 2: one of his farms, despite me knowing there were times

1251
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 2: they were in town. One sister's kids play on a

1252
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 2: baseball team based out of the town I live in.

1253
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,480
Speaker 2: My coworker's son is also on the team, and my

1254
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 2: other sisters in law live here. Despite all that, if

1255
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 2: I know my nephews have an event nearby, I try

1256
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 2: to make it if I'm not working. So that's kind

1257
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 2: of like the set. The stage is set. I think

1258
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 2: we just have to accept that our mom is kind

1259
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 2: of absent. Mom doesn't care. Yeah, and the more that

1260
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 2: we fight and hunger for that, the more we're just

1261
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 2: gonna hurt.

1262
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 4: I am hoping that it's not because of the whole

1263
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 4: like baby out of marriage thing, but I'm not putting

1264
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 4: that past. Why the mom distanced herself so.

1265
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,880
Speaker 2: Quick, Yeah, it could definitely be part of the reason.

1266
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 4: I don't think she should have I do not think

1267
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 4: she should know. It also sounds like your family just

1268
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 4: doesn't make it out to things as much like as

1269
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 4: a collective, where like your partner's family makes it out

1270
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,520
Speaker 4: to like everything, which is great and super supportive, but

1271
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 4: it just I agree, like, it doesn't sound like they're

1272
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 4: gonna start trying.

1273
01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, mm mm hmm. Fast forward to this week, my

1274
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 2: significant other and I are finishing up our move to

1275
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 2: our first house, and my dad is the only one

1276
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 2: who came to help. I get a message from my

1277
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 2: mom asking if I had heard about my great aunt.

1278
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 2: My extended family's pretty close and gets together once a year,

1279
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 2: at least on my mom's side. I didn't see that,

1280
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 2: so she screenshots a Facebook post from a day ago

1281
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,400
Speaker 2: and sends it. The post has multiple updates, but also

1282
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 2: says that the events that put my aunt in the

1283
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 2: ICU happened several weeks ago. I am then kept up

1284
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 2: to date on her health struggles and eventual passing a

1285
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 2: few days later. Then yesterday, when I'm walking into work,

1286
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 2: after I get called in I work in health, I

1287
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 2: get a message from my mom. It's a picture of

1288
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 2: my cousin showing she just got engaged. Below my mom says,

1289
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,959
Speaker 2: not sure if you knew this or not. We need

1290
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 2: to get you added to my grandparents initials group. You

1291
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 2: aren't in it now, This by itself wouldn't have hurt,

1292
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 2: but I also wasn't in the sisters group. Still, I

1293
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,960
Speaker 2: screenshot it and send it to who I think is

1294
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 2: my significant other and caption it yet another family group

1295
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 2: I'm not in, only to realize as soon as I

1296
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,200
Speaker 2: enter work I accidentally sent it to the group I

1297
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 2: have with just my mom and dad. I try to

1298
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 2: unsend it, but I'm pretty sure my mom saw, so

1299
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 2: she texts me back privately that my dad and uncle

1300
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 2: are not in it either, which doesn't make me feel

1301
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: any better since I would still be the only one

1302
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: out of the loop, and says maybe I can help

1303
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 2: her add me. Honestly, at this point, if you saw

1304
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 2: that you were not in the sister's group chat and

1305
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 2: she hits you with the oh, they send a lot

1306
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 2: of texts, you wouldn't want to be in it? Are

1307
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 2: you going to go? No, I do want to be

1308
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 2: in it? Adme? At that point, that's on you and I.

1309
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,320
Speaker 2: You know, we all have our different levels of ability

1310
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 2: to confront. But if you want to be.

1311
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 7: In that group chat and she goes, oh no, no, no, no, no,

1312
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 7: you don't, and you go, yeah, yeah, I do, add me,

1313
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,440
Speaker 7: ad me see you and my sisters ad me, I'm

1314
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 7: a sister, or whoever add me.

1315
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 2: If you don't do.

1316
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 4: That, definitely take the phone next time. Put yourself in

1317
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 4: all these groups. That's or make your own, make one

1318
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 4: of me, Like, hey, guys, new sister's chat just dropped.

1319
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, straight up. She then adds me to the conversation

1320
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 2: and asks if that adds me to the group. I

1321
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:16,480
Speaker 2: say I won't know until a message is sent, and

1322
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 2: that I was at work while I'm in tears because

1323
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 2: yet again I'm an afterthought. She then proceeds to tell

1324
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 2: me the group is made a long time ago. Sorry,

1325
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 2: I forgot you were working. I still don't know when

1326
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:30,640
Speaker 2: because I only see new messages. The first message my

1327
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 2: sister liked to picture. I opened the message group and

1328
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 2: can only see the name of the group my grandparents'

1329
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 2: initials originals. Apparently I couldn't get added to the originals

1330
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 2: until a long time later. Despite being in the family

1331
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:47,560
Speaker 2: for almost three decades, I continue to get messages about

1332
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 2: my family liking a picture I can't even see to like.

1333
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 2: I still have not spoken within the group. Then this morning,

1334
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 2: my aunt replies, and it brings it all to the

1335
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 2: forefront again. Now I don't even know if I can

1336
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 2: get a message in this group again without feeling like

1337
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 2: more of an outsider in my family than I already do.

1338
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:08,040
Speaker 2: We are really signal amplifying a lot of these negative

1339
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 2: thoughts within our own head.

1340
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 4: Find me at this point, you got to decide do

1341
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 4: you want to be in the group or do not

1342
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 4: want to be in the group. Yeah, and then we're

1343
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 4: gonna eventually have to get past that we weren't for

1344
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 4: a while.

1345
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 2: You're like, not being in the group is hurting my feelings.

1346
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 2: I'm in the group and it's hurting my feelings. At

1347
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 2: this point, find the family members that you want to

1348
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 2: be connected with, find the people and make your own

1349
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 2: group Boom. Be proactive about the things that we want.

1350
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 2: After years of spending my time making sure my son

1351
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 2: has a relationship with them by calling them each time

1352
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,920
Speaker 2: I'm in town to see them, going to family events

1353
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 2: when I'm not on call, and trying to help with

1354
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 2: the yearly garage sale although I don't have anything in it.

1355
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 2: It feels like a smack in the face. After speaking

1356
01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 2: with my s SO and his sister, which feels like

1357
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 2: more of a sister to me than my own and

1358
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,600
Speaker 2: her husband. The more I feel like I'm not making

1359
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 2: an effort to see my family as much as I

1360
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 2: have been, and only seeing them on holidays or extended

1361
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 2: family events, we have a little bit more story left, honestly, either,

1362
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:06,000
Speaker 2: Just like you.

1363
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 4: Got to just find the people that you want to

1364
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 4: talk to now, I don't even know, Like I don't

1365
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 4: even like just poop on all of their parts. Like

1366
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 4: you're another sister, you should be involved.

1367
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, if being on the outside in is hurting your

1368
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:25,439
Speaker 2: feelings and then being brought into the conversation after having

1369
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,480
Speaker 2: to ask for it also hurt your feelings, I think

1370
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 2: you might just need to disconnect, you know. I think

1371
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 2: we need to go to therapy and reckon with what

1372
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:36,160
Speaker 2: we want out of our family relationships, how much stock

1373
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: we put into the way mom treats us. Because we

1374
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 2: can only control how we react to situation, we can't

1375
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 2: control how someone else is gonna act. So I would

1376
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:53,840
Speaker 2: suggest therapy and leaning on your significant other's family more

1377
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 2: than your own. I want to stop letting them know

1378
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 2: about the things my genius son says or does. Citing

1379
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 2: the digits of Pie or using big words that kids

1380
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 2: his age don't. But it's also hard for me to

1381
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 2: do since my dad is his only grandfather. But if

1382
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:10,840
Speaker 2: I bring him to see my dad, my mom will

1383
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 2: likely see him too. My mom has a message since

1384
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:16,160
Speaker 2: last night or attempted to call me. Would I be

1385
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,440
Speaker 2: wrong if I stopped making the effort to see my

1386
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 2: parents and family that I have for years and limited

1387
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:24,680
Speaker 2: my son's contact with them over not being added to

1388
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:28,000
Speaker 2: the family group chat. Absolutely, you would be wrong for that,

1389
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:31,840
Speaker 2: But I think the premise of that goes further than

1390
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 2: not being added into the group chat. I think you

1391
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 2: should go to therapy before you cut off your son

1392
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:41,640
Speaker 2: from the rest of his family. On your side, for sure,

1393
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 2: we have some comments to finish the story. Come in one.

1394
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong in matching effort. It makes you feel

1395
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 2: a lot better. Put your love and time into the

1396
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 2: relationships that are good for you and your nuclear family.

1397
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,919
Speaker 2: Drop the rope with those where you don't get energy back.

1398
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 2: You don't have to do anything dramatic. It's just a

1399
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 2: decision to not be the first to message, not be

1400
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 2: the one to call, or the one to travel to

1401
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 2: see people unless they've come to see you. You don't

1402
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 2: have to be confrontational about it either. Just saying you

1403
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 2: will see when you have time and then not getting

1404
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:16,600
Speaker 2: back to them works just fine. You'll be happier and

1405
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 2: you wouldn't be the a hole. Comment to you do

1406
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 2: sound a bit sensitive, like bringing up very old comments.

1407
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,560
Speaker 2: So you said you have a son. Let's say you

1408
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:30,800
Speaker 2: get pregnant three more times and they're all boys. Sure

1409
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:33,560
Speaker 2: you're going to love all your kids, but won't you

1410
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:36,840
Speaker 2: be a bit disappointed that number three or number four

1411
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 2: wasn't a girl. That's just normal. And the comment about

1412
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 2: being chatty with the girlfriends, seriously, let it go. I

1413
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 2: think you should see your family when you can. That's

1414
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 2: how you stay close. None of us are perfect, and

1415
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.