WEBVTT - Be choosy about advice

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to be choosy about who you get

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<v Speaker 1>advice from. You want guidance from people who are experts,

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<v Speaker 1>not from those who are struggling with a topic they're

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<v Speaker 1>giving advice about, or who don't truly know much about it.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a great scene in the nineteen eighties movie Say Anything,

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<v Speaker 1>when John Cusack's character is upset about his love life.

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<v Speaker 1>At a gas station. He runs into cool guys from

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<v Speaker 1>his high school who offer him lots of advice. He

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<v Speaker 1>moles over what they say, and then realizes that they

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<v Speaker 1>are giving him advice about dating while they are hanging

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<v Speaker 1>out in the parking lot of a gas station. If

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<v Speaker 1>you guys know so much about women, basically asks them,

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<v Speaker 1>how come you're at the gas and sip on a

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<v Speaker 1>Saturday night, completely alone, drinking beers with no women anywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a good question. There are so many people in

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<v Speaker 1>our daily lives who are ready to offer advice, not

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<v Speaker 1>to mention an internet full of influencers. Some of these

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<v Speaker 1>people are about as qualified to offer advice as those

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<v Speaker 1>guys at the gas station. So whenever you are weighing

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<v Speaker 1>a piece of advice, consider who you are getting it from.

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<v Speaker 1>Are they experiencing their lives in a way that you

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<v Speaker 1>would like to experience yours? Have they solved the problem

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<v Speaker 1>that you are trying to solve. This matters because sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>the person hasn't solved the problem, they are still clearly

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<v Speaker 1>struggling with it. And other times the person may never

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<v Speaker 1>have experienced the problem in the first place, and so

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<v Speaker 1>the advice isn't going to be helpful to you in

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<v Speaker 1>those circum dances either. I see this a lot with

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<v Speaker 1>parenting advice. Kids are their own people, so I'd say

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<v Speaker 1>the fact that someone's kid turned out in a socially

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<v Speaker 1>acceptable manner doesn't prove the person was a great parent.

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<v Speaker 1>The opposite is also true. You can do everything right

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<v Speaker 1>and have a kid who grows up to make terrible decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>This should prompt all of us to think, there but

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<v Speaker 1>for the grace of God go I. But even with

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<v Speaker 1>smaller matters like sleep or eating, we are all dealing

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<v Speaker 1>with different beasts. I see people offering advice on how

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<v Speaker 1>to help picky eaters, and they talk about cutting your

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<v Speaker 1>child's ham, cheese and mustard sandwiches into fun shapes. Great,

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<v Speaker 1>But if your kid will eat a sandwich an item

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<v Speaker 1>that contains more than one ingredient touching, let alone strong

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<v Speaker 1>flavors like mustard, they are not the truly tough cases

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<v Speaker 1>n selective eating, So take this advice with a grain

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<v Speaker 1>of salt. A certain sort of sleep training might work

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<v Speaker 1>for one kid whose parents then become evangelical about it,

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<v Speaker 1>but that doesn't mean other parents who try it and

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<v Speaker 1>don't see results are doing it wrong. Maybe the first

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<v Speaker 1>family didn't really have a tough case on the sleeping front,

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<v Speaker 1>or there was only one thing that was the matter

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<v Speaker 1>and this particular method adds just that, or really, who knows.

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<v Speaker 1>I also find myself wary of time management advice from

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<v Speaker 1>people who don't have any commitments to other people. I

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<v Speaker 1>am sure some of their strategies worked great for some

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<v Speaker 1>folks who are in similar situations, but if your morning

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<v Speaker 1>routine will never be interrupted by a screaming toddler, then

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<v Speaker 1>we are not dealing with the same circumstances. So those

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<v Speaker 1>of us with toddlers need to be careful about taking

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<v Speaker 1>advice that is just going to frustrate us. So instead,

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<v Speaker 1>look for people who have dealt with the same problem,

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<v Speaker 1>or who seem particularly exemplary on a dimension you admire.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't know how our kids will turn out, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's probably a better bet to take parenting advice from

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<v Speaker 1>someone who seems to enjoy his or her kids than

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<v Speaker 1>someone who's constantly annoyed. Does that family seem to be

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<v Speaker 1>having a good time, then it might be helpful to

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<v Speaker 1>try to copy the magic. Financial advice is probably best

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<v Speaker 1>from someone with a normal income who seems calm and

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<v Speaker 1>capable with her money. She takes hits like everyone else,

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<v Speaker 1>and she takes them in stride. But someone who's got

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<v Speaker 1>great tricks from moving around balances on credit cards, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we might have a gas and set moment here, because

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<v Speaker 1>if a person is great with finances, it's really unclear

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<v Speaker 1>how they have all that credit card debt in the

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<v Speaker 1>first place. Be choosy about where you good advice, and

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<v Speaker 1>the advice will probably prove more useful in the meantime.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter. Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,

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<v Speaker 1>then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

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<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At i heeart media

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<v Speaker 1>dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out with all

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.

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