WEBVTT - Two Jersey Js: Real friends or Reality Fakes? 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:05.680 Hey, everyone, It's Jackie Goldschneider and Jen Fessler and we 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:07.480 are two Jersey Jays. 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:10.240 Hi, guys, I feel like it's been a while, right. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.240 I know, I feel like we were recording so much 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:15.320 and then we had a nice long break. 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:19.120 How was that passover? Oh? Thank you for asking. Passover 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:21.880 was great. We spent it because you know this, we 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:25.119 got a house at the beach, down at the shore, 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.800 but a little further than what we know from, like 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.680 let's say the show about the Shore, so closer to Philly. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.239 So we got this house and it's been quite a 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:35.960 feat and to furnish it and get it ready for 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:38.519 the summer. But the four of us went and had 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:42.040 passed over there and it was actually really nice. Oh 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:45.559 that's so nice. What about yours? We were away, We 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:47.320 were away from most of it. I want to hear 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:48.280 about your natum. 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:52.400 It was amazing. I mean, Barcelona and Madrid are both beautiful. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:56.880 I had never been, and the food was fantastic and 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:00.800 I ate so much. I was proud of myself because 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:02.279 sometimes hard for. 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.960 Me, but it was really great. 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:08.560 But as much as I loved it, last year we 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:12.720 went to Rome and I just felt like nothing can 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:13.640 come close to Rome. 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:15.920 Italy is always going to be my number one. 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:21.440 Yeah, But we came home enough time to get the 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:25.520 kids went back to school today and we came home 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.040 with enough time to let them. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.840 Like on jet lag, but. 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:33.880 The other like two nights ago, I woke up in 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:35.120 the middle of the night to. 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:35.959 Go to the bathroom. 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.640 And I wear an eyemask, right, so I pulled it 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:41.280 up a little bit, and I'm walking to the bathroom 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.160 and you know those monster flies, like those big black 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.720 ones that bounce like crazy on the walls. There was 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:50.600 one in my room and it buzzed in my ear 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:53.760 and I turned my head as I was walking. 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.080 To You're gonna freak me out. You're gonna freak me 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:57.639 gonna be like a horror film. 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.800 Oh, and I slammed my face into the box that 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.800 holds that has our like alarm keypad. And then I 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:08.400 got so I al conopulated that I fell backwards into 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:09.480 my laundry basket. 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:14.960 It was like the worst than I was still jet lagged, Jackie. 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:16.280 I thought you were going to say that the fly 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.520 went into your ear canal and I no, no, I 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:19.840 was not. 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:21.320 I was gonna have to check out a. 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.360 Big fat lip and like, oh i'd even notice. Let 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.040 me say, well, the MIC's in front of it and it's. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.919 Getting bad act. See. Yeah. 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:32.040 But anyway, so other than that, though, the trip was 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.920 great and uh, I'm glad to be home. I'm not 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.000 one of those people who likes to travel for like 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:37.760 two weeks. 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:37.880 At a time. 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:40.240 I like to get home after like five days. I'm like, 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:42.480 this is great, but like I'm ready for my bed 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:43.480 and I get. 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.600 Depressed, well by boundry machine. Really, I don't like to go. 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.560 I don't know, I get a little every time vacation ends. 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.720 Oh no, not me. I like coming home. I like 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.120 coming home, but I definitely and I've there are times 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:58.120 where I've like, okay, we've had enough. Like no Vietnam, 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:02.160 I was depressed, but like anytime sounded like such a 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:06.440 spectacular trip it was. It really was. I don't know. 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:09.080 But yeah, and then you said you had well because 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.040 I told you my back went out yesterday, so. 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.480 Oh yeah, I had a I don't know, I never 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:16.799 have back problems. Like three weeks ago, my back started 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:17.919 hurting and then it was so bad. 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:18.840 I was like an old lady. 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:22.000 We were going on these tours and the kids stopping 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.240 and like stretching my worst feeling. 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:28.320 I know, how's your back. It's okay, it's okay. I 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:30.720 have to get on the plane tomorrow. So I'm telling 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:31.600 myself it's okay. 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:35.840 Yeah, you're going to a concert. 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.520 I'm going on but yes, so exciting. I wish that 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:42.600 you were coming. It is going to be a lot 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.320 of fun. I think Country Music Festival in Napa with 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:48.240 iHeart time. You love country music. You're a texted girl. 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.480 I know, knew nothing about Well now I feel like 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.200 country is coming into the pop world. 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.560 So I know, like Morgan Wallen, I know, like. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.920 The people who have gone like pop, but and I 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:02.240 love it, but I know nothing really about country music. 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.400 That he used to be a bigger country music fan, 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:06.480 but then my family started to love it. Was specifically 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.720 Jeff and he when he loves something, it's all of 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:13.040 that all the time. It's every really good until I 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:15.160 get burnt out and I'm like, oh, that's funny. 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:17.640 When I was a kid growing up in Staten Island, 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:20.920 my dad, I guess it was sort of his midlife crisis, 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:25.120 became a cowboy and so we were like just this 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:26.279 Jewish family. 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:27.120 Living in same what. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.960 It lasted a few years that was it and everyone 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:34.960 called him Buffalo Berry and we were just this Jewish 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:36.880 family living in the middle of Staten Island. And my 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:41.520 dad wore like full cowboy gear. That is so hilarious. 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.280 For a while, for a few years. 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:47.000 My dad did that becoming a biker. Oh really did 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:50.440 it last? No? 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.640 But anyway, all he would play was country music and 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:57.919 like his long paddlelac that smelled like smoke. And it 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:00.000 was just country music all the time until it was 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:02.719 but my only exposure to country music. 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:03.720 See, you'll have a blast. 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:10.120 And then I'm hot on your heels going to Wango Tangoa. 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.960 And just now it's like I'm a little jealous. There's 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:15.000 gonna be some bigs there. I can't no, no, no, no, 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:15.760 it's Mother's Day. 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.800 What you said, right, I know I'm going to go 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:21.200 with alexis good time. 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:21.920 I love that. 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.880 Anyway, I am really really excited for this topic today 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:28.320 because you don't have to be a white Lotus fan 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:34.440 to really engage in this. But the topic is authenticity, 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:40.760 like being authenticity and like your friendships, your relationships with 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.280 the show, with everything. But we also are going to 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:46.359 dive in a little bit to the speech that Carrie 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:51.279 Coon gave during the White Lotus season finale that really. 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.960 It really uh talks about. 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:58.559 Her view on the relationships with the other two women 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.520 she was with, and but how she saw herself and. 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:05.160 What the friendships meant to her. 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.680 And I think it's to take that line by line 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.000 and really dissect that and see how it translates to 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:13.719 our own lives. 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.960 So authenticity, I feel like it's just a buzzword, right, 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.960 Are you being authentic? She's not authentic, he's authentic, She's 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.680 not authentic. It's like it's one of those words that 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:24.839 now is starting to annoy me a little bit. But 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:29.640 you know, I guess like gaslighting. A little like gaslighting, 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.719 I give just tided, But what are people saying it is? 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:35.599 Now? Wait, there's another word, weaponizing. People are saying that's yes. 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:40.040 Oh my god, there's so much weaponizing. Yeah, oh yeah, 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.200 all of those. So but listen, I know what it means. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.000 I know what it means when I'm not authentic and 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:47.760 when I am being authentic. And we're talking right now 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:53.520 about how it changes as we get older. So authenticity 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.760 as we get older, Well, I mean I was a 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:59.640 people pleaser my whole life. I think it has to 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:04.400 do with probably my relationship with my father and not 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:06.960 just my father. But and I think you can. It's 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.960 hard to be authentic if you're a people pleaser. And 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.360 I am much less of a people pleaser than I 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:20.160 used to be, I think to a fault, Like I 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:25.080 have this one story that I tell so that it 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.840 really just just stuck with me. I had a friend 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.119 who we had plans to go out for a drink 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:36.760 and another friend gotten al and said, Okay, well I'm 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.880 going out with this fourth person. Let's just all do 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:41.400 it together. We'll all go out. The fourth person was 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.200 someone I was friendly with but not close friends with 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:48.080 at that time, and I said in this text chain. 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:52.240 I said, no, the person wasn't on the chain. And 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:54.800 my friend said, what do you mean no? I said, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:59.200 I don't want to do that, and so she was like, well, 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.720 what do you mean why not? I said, because I 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:03.240 don't want to. I don't want to be I don't 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.080 want to be around anyone tonight that I'm not whatever 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.680 she's like, but we're all going out, you know her, 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.320 we're friends. And I said, so, do you want me 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.720 to lie and to make up a reason to tell 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.000 you no? The reason I don't want to is simply 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:17.720 because I don't want to, and I just remember owning 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.840 that Like that moment for me probably sounds a little silly, 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:24.280 but was so huge, Like I don't need to make 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:27.080 up an excuse. I don't want to go out with 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.440 someone that I'm not very good friends with tonight. I 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.160 don't feel like shooting. I don't want to hear about 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.520 their kids. I don't want to have to, you know, 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.319 ask about the things. I'm tired. My time is limited. 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:41.080 But I for some reason, it felt very authentic to me, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.800 and it feels to me I wish that I could 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.960 operate like that all the time. And it wasn't being mean. 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.960 I think that as you get oh, I certainly as 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:54.160 I've gotten older, the biggest power that I've I've sensed 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:57.400 like the biggest change is being able to say no. 0:08:57.800 --> 0:08:57.959 No. 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:01.520 It is not feel or not feeling says bad, you know, 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:04.080 because I always felt bad. I was a yes person 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:08.559 for so long, and I have no problem saying no now. 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.319 And I have the wisdom to know. I mean, I'm 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:15.800 almost fifty, and I have this feeling that has only 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.360 come in the past few years that if I am 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.200 being myself and someone doesn't like it. 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.160 They're not for me, they are not my person a. 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:29.640 Yeah, and I do since sometimes I stop now and 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:33.400 take stock of how I'm actually feeling, and I know 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:36.800 who makes me feel good and who doesn't. And I 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:40.160 really enjoy being around the people who make me feel good. 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:41.960 And I say yes to that a lot, but I 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.480 say no to a lot of things now. I don't 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.920 feel like I feel like life is really short. And 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:49.839 I've seen. 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.640 Many people that I know not doing well, like in 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:58.680 you know, getting sick or really they're just things happening. 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.080 Yeah you. I have four friends right now who were 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:03.480 recently diagnostic cancer. 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.720 Yeah, And I kind of don't want to waste the time, 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:09.640 you know, waste time doing things that don't make me 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:13.360 happy anymore. And I think that I'm really lucky because I, 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:15.960 for a long time, like you, I was a people 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:17.800 pleaser and I had a really hard time saying no. 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.840 I didn't want people to be disappointed in me. I 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.320 was always worried about what people thought of me, and 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:25.199 just really getting rid of all of that as I 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.160 get older. And it's not just a function of age, 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.840 I think that's a function also a therapy, but I 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:34.560 think being able to say no to things has opened 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:35.880 my life up a lot. 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.079 Yeah, I agree, therapy has definitely helped me. And I'm 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:41.040 not always I'm not perfect at it. I still find 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:45.040 myself getting caught up in people pleasing and saying what 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:47.559 I think that people want to hear. But I'm way 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.600 more aware of it. I do it way less than 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:54.160 I used to, and I'm always like my therapist always 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.320 says to me, like I'm already ahead the game because 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:59.040 I can see it, so I can see that I'm 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:03.240 actually doing it. You know, Yes, agree, And I think. 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:07.720 You know, people ask a lot about the show is 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.319 it real, or the friendship's real or all of that real? 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:13.000 And I have a few opinions on that. 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:17.040 I mean, first of all, on the show, it's very 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:20.760 hard to be completely real because and I'm not just 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:25.120 saying me, I'm saying in general. First of all, you 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:28.040 have to say things that you wouldn't normally say in 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.400 real life. Right Like, if you dislike somebody and you 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:33.160 walk into a room with them, my baseline would be 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.840 to just not pay attention to them. But on a 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.280 show where you're getting paid to give your opinion, you 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:42.960 cannot do that. You can't just like close up, so 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:47.600 you're saying things that you probably wouldn't say ordinarily in 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:51.000 real life, even though you do feel them right. You're 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:57.719 confronting people that you would probably just ignore. And I 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:03.720 also think that there's this like this constant like knowledge 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:07.200 that the audience is going to judge you, and nobody 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:09.839 wants to be punched in the face for the next 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.920 like three months, So you're not going to say even 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.600 if you think something, you're not going to say the 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.559 things that are going to get you absolutely destroyed online 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:19.960 unless you've had too much to drink properly. 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.120 Right well, but that you know, it's so funny because 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:26.440 I think that's part of what made the very beginning 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.280 of Housewife specifically like for me at least like New 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:33.520 York I didn't watch this Orange County as much at 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:37.120 the very beginning, but they had no knowledge of what 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.120 could happen or would happen, or you know, the social 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.280 media of it all, so there was they had no 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.680 way to prepare themselves. And as talking about authenticity, I 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:51.040 feel like they were so authentic and it's very hard 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:55.720 to do it now because you see what can happen 0:12:55.920 --> 0:13:01.040 right like back in the day of the Housewives franchises, 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:05.080 it was a you know, there was a clean no 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:09.840 one knew what anything could turn into. So yeah, definitely 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:14.079 more sort of self awareness, which I guess is sometimes 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:18.480 translated into not being as authentic, right right, Yeah, I mean, 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:19.360 but it is hard. 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:26.400 It is hard to be completely totally authentic on the shows. 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.000 But I did. I always tried my hardest. I've got 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.120 to say that those are the words I really tried. 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:35.360 And I think that people ask me all the tomic 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.920 would you do differently? I did the best I could 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:42.720 and with what I had in every single moment, and 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:44.800 I tried to be as honest as I could be. 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.880 I think that I fee feel differently about situations now 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:49.319 than I did when I was on the show. Maybe 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:53.400 I would react differently now, but I can't say I 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:57.360 have regrets per se because I was in the moment. 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:00.280 No me, neither me neither not at all. I thing 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:02.400 I was trying my best. 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.480 I did have a season where I cried a lot, 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.079 and I think maybe I would try to be a 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:13.319 little stronger that season. But but that's authentic as you can, Yes, 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:15.880 I know, but also like it's a show, like it's 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:20.440 not that deep you know. So okay, so let's talk 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:22.320 about making new friends at this sage. 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.040 Do you enjoy making new friends or do you? Are 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.880 you so? In all honesty, Jack, I've been I've always 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.600 there are certain things that like we all are born 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.080 with gifted and I don't you know. I talk about 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.560 this again a lot in therapy. I connect with people 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.040 very easily and always have from when I was a 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:47.120 little kid. So I tend to make friends and I'm 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.760 not This is not in a braggy way, because everyone 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.800 has stuff right that they're just born with. I have 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.520 for some reason, I can just connect with people. It's 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.520 you know, I have a million bad things about me, 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:00.600 good things about me, whatever. But as I'm getting older, 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:05.600 I want to less and less. Like I'm not as 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.200 interested in making new friends as I used to be. 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:09.640 So I'm know if that's a good thing or bad thing, 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:11.520 it's just what it is. I don't really feel like 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:15.800 bringing new people as much into my world unless I 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.840 really connect with someone and you know, I have some 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:24.400 crazy kind of chemistry with someone. Friendship work, you know, 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.480 and I don't know, I feel like I have a 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.960 lot of friends now and I'm not as eager to 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.880 you know, connect like I used. 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:39.120 To be, are you. I enjoy making new friends, but 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:43.880 only if I really feel that connection, then I'll pursue it. 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.080 If not, I get lazy with it because I have 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.960 my people. I have my girls here in my town. 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.960 I have my college friends, and I have like my 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.440 like you know you, I have like other friends like 0:15:56.920 --> 0:16:01.320 that are like single friends, you know, like, But I 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:02.840 I don't know. I like making friends. But I have 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.320 this one friend and she has a million friends, right, 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.200 and she is invited to like every single thing. She's 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.040 friends with, every single person I know, every party you 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.040 go to, she's there. And I was talking to her, 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:18.680 and she said, I really. 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.680 Just like people. Because I said, how do you keep 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:22.120 up with all of these things? 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:26.320 She said, I really enjoy people, like I love hearing 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:32.480 people's stories and seeing people's lives and knowing people's like adventures, 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.920 and like, I just thought to myself, that's such an 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.520 interesting way. I don't think she gets in so deep 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.640 with anybody, but she just loves like she has her 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:45.840 close friends, but she just loves being around people. Think, 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.040 I think, to each their own, but like to Evan, 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:51.960 I love people anymore, I guess I used to. 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.400 I know I connect with people easily. I'm also I 0:16:55.440 --> 0:17:00.000 love being alone. I love like I love my alone time. 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:01.920 I don't know. Do you feel like you love people 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:06.560 so much? I love the people I love. I don't. 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.760 I don't love you, know what. It's funny. I do 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:10.960 like people. I do. 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.200 I'm one of those people who I like you until 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.000 you give me reason not to like you. And Evan 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.200 is the opposite. He doesn't like anybody until they give 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.160 him reasons to like him, and then he loves them. 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:23.560 But he, like my baseline is to start off really 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:27.919 liking you. And I am easy to get along with. 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:31.200 And I'm an easy forgiver too, unless I've been burned, 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:32.400 like a few times, then I won't. 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.159 But I think I am at least an easy forgiver. 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:38.080 It's not a good thing or a bad thing. You think? 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:40.560 Is that a good thing? I think it's a good 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:44.720 thing probably. And I'm also an easy apologizer, like I 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.840 don't have a hard time saying I'm sorry me neither me, 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.679 neither you and I would we be friends if it 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.720 wasn't for the show. I think, in all honesty we 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.399 would probably be. This is gonna be a weird thing 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:01.560 to say, even better friends. I one hundred percent agree 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:01.920 with that. 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.720 I do because I think that there's well, first of all, 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.600 you're friends with people who don't like me, which means 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:13.800 that we can't always go to things together. But also 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:17.280 and I'm friends with people that don't like me, No, 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:21.960 they like you. Actually, well we can discuss that all. 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:26.879 That's a whole other yes, but I think that also, 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:32.040 like it's weird, like if the show came back and 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:35.000 one of us was back and one of us wasn't, 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:38.840 I don't see how that wouldn't make things awkward. 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:45.200 Right, Yeah, I guess. I mean I'm more like this show. Yes, yes, 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:47.679 for being on it, of course, that's yes, But I 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:51.000 sort of mean more like because with the show and 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:54.480 just what it is, right, it is about conflict resolution 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:59.000 and and we're together all the time in this very 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.800 in this micro cause, in the arena. But without that, 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.640 you know, what would we ever we met in Upper 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.760 Cell River or Tenafly and let's say I was a 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:11.800 little younger or you were a little older, kids the 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:15.040 same age. I mean, how would we not get along? Right? 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:17.919 Like, we're basically very similar. And I think that's what 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:20.360 Drew us to each other from the beginning. 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:25.120 I mean, just a lot of a lot in common 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.920 and not you know, a lot maybe because we're Jewish 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.280 and we have kids while mine are older again, but 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:35.919 we run in similar circles and so and then you 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:37.760 would take away that piece of it that was hard 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.080 to navigate, which is a lot of times has to 0:19:40.119 --> 0:19:40.400 do with. 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:44.200 The show, right, Yeah, for sure, And the show is 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:46.199 not going to last forever. So I think that's a 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.800 really exciting thing for us, right Like when the show 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.560 is completely over for both of us, I think that 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:57.160 maybe we could explore like a new part of listen. 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:59.040 We also have this together, so we're bonded through this. 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:01.320 And I'm not trying to say that, you know, we're 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.480 not good friends, but the show makes things complicated, and sometimes, 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:07.160 you know, it becomes for all of us. I don't 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:11.280 think anyone gets away without feeling that kind of tension 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:13.199 that comes with the show. And there's a lot of 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:15.480 competition and there's a lot of yes. 0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:18.320 And I will tell you this, I have circled through 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:21.520 friends on this show, and no matter who I was 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.040 friends with at any given time, everyone was bad mouthing everyone. 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.919 And I will just say that so I'm not sure 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:32.560 how authentic friendships are, and it's the reason why I 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:34.960 didn't watch Beverly Hills this season. But it's the reason 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:38.440 why someone like Garcela leaves and unfollows everyone on the cast. 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:46.880 It's because the friendships aren't They're built on a shared experience, 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:49.680 and once that experience is gone, I think a piece 0:20:49.680 --> 0:21:02.720