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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's helping men feel even more

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Speaker 1: masculine with new chest hair extensions now available in small, medium,

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Speaker 1: or horsetail legs.

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Speaker 2: Oh order your chest hair extensions now with Laser Stories,

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Speaker 2: the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 2: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser

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Speaker 2: and those other follicle fabios just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Cannapolis, North Carolina.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like you just mispronounced something.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a cane Cannapolis.

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Speaker 1: A twenty year old guy named Jasper Wrispin and a

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Speaker 1: nineteen year old named Da Mario Davis broke into a

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Speaker 1: rent a center around two am the other day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, nobody get tempting.

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Speaker 5: Maybe they just had a big party and they didn't

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Speaker 5: have enough tables and chairs.

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Speaker 4: Yeah not quite. Once inside, yeah we'll be right back now.

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Speaker 1: They walked around looking for things to steal, but could

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Speaker 1: only find a single TV.

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Speaker 4: That's a busy center.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't feel worth it, does it.

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Speaker 1: The cops got there as they were loading it into

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Speaker 1: a trunk, and then the pair realized they might get caught,

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Speaker 1: so they jumped into separate cars and tried to speed away,

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Speaker 1: only they crashed into each other in the parking lot.

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Speaker 3: Like the end of a cartoon.

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Speaker 5: Height.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Surprisingly, they weren't done yet. The two quickly backed up,

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Speaker 1: drove out of the parking lot, going the wrong way

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Speaker 1: down a one way street, and both got into separate accidents. Yes,

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Speaker 1: they crashed again.

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Speaker 5: Okay, didn't avill fall out of the sky and land

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Speaker 5: on any of them.

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Speaker 1: It would have been next, but it was enough for

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Speaker 1: the cops to catch up with them and arrest.

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Speaker 3: The pair for one TV, two cars and get around.

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Speaker 4: In three cars.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they are now both facing several charges, but thankfully

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Speaker 1: the TV remained unharmed and was put that's in the

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Speaker 1: rent to center without incident even happen.

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Speaker 5: Do you think there's a conversation when you break into

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Speaker 5: a place and it's empty and you're like.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're here, we might as.

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Speaker 6: Well Why didn't you scout the place?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 4: I told you to do that. This next le story

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Speaker 4: is out of the bowls that are super Oh wait

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Speaker 4: a minute, cut around it.

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Speaker 6: I have a feeling this isn't about cooking.

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Speaker 1: Sure, there's a big football game coming up this weekend,

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Speaker 1: but what everyone is most excited about is what they're

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Speaker 1: going to shove into their mouth holes.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so somebody give me suggestions here. I have tried

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Speaker 6: to subtly ask what's on the menu to my best

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Speaker 6: friend and his wife. They won't tell me.

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Speaker 3: I bet if we listen to Jeff's report, we may

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Speaker 3: learn something.

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Speaker 1: Instacart just released every state's favorite game day.

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Speaker 4: Snack, and we do have some of the results here.

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Speaker 1: Kso led in the West, with Washington, Oregon, and Idaho

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Speaker 1: all ordering it the.

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Speaker 3: Most, actually swimming it.

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Speaker 1: Tea chips were the number one pick for more states

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Speaker 1: than any other snack food. They held down Montana, Wyoming,

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Speaker 1: North Dakota, Louisiana, Vermont, and West Virginia.

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Speaker 5: States got to get along so the caso and the

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Speaker 5: chips could go together, but well, it's just their number

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Speaker 5: one dried chip.

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Speaker 1: New Mexico, Colorado, and Texas joined with almost all the

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Speaker 1: Southern states to share a love of processed cheese like velveta.

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Speaker 3: I love that, Yeah when you put it with a

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Speaker 3: can of chili.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I thought that.

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Speaker 1: Chicken wings ruled Illinois, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Nevada.

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Speaker 4: And Utah.

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Speaker 1: And then things do get a little bit weird. California

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Speaker 1: and Arizona order French onion dip.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but I can smell their breath from

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Speaker 3: here chips, I mean with fired.

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Speaker 4: I don't care how it comes. That's a weird game

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Speaker 4: day food.

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Speaker 1: Okay, South Dakota and Arkansas get down on canned dice tomatoes.

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Speaker 5: Hey you here, do you think you put a spoon

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Speaker 5: in them and just eat them?

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Speaker 3: Or just dumping straight in your salsa? May be more

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Speaker 3: on part.

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Speaker 4: That fresh stuff. No, give me the canned goodness.

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Speaker 1: And Iowa was the only state where beef sausage was

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Speaker 1: the number one for the Big Game.

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Speaker 5: It sounds delicious, sounds madly, is what it sounds like?

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Speaker 1: Smoke text in seventy five ninety two, tell us what's

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Speaker 1: your number one order for game day food? This next

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Speaker 1: laser story is out of Japan. You ever get chills

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Speaker 1: or goosebumps listening to music? Yes, scientists just zeroed in

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Speaker 1: on how to make it happen. The team of researchers.

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Speaker 1: They came up with a new type of headphone that

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Speaker 1: tracks your brain waves and learns what gives you goose bumps,

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Speaker 1: and then AI will build a play list based on

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Speaker 1: your results.

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Speaker 3: WHOA sounds terrible. I'm just gonna.

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Speaker 1: AI decides if you're truly enjoying a song or if

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Speaker 1: you're just listening to it casually.

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Speaker 5: Does the AI also shame you for bad music choice,

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Speaker 5: like oh, this is what you like? God?

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Speaker 1: Once it learns what works, it pulls from thousands of

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Speaker 1: artists to build you the perfect goose bump heavy playlist.

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Speaker 5: And I'm sure record companies won't be paying for them

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Speaker 5: to push certain artists.

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Speaker 4: So they're still in the testing phase.

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Speaker 1: But the big question remains, who actually wants a playlist

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Speaker 1: of creepy, spine tingling music and why are they spending

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Speaker 1: millions of dollars to find out?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: That's the cool part is like it happens randomly. It's

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Speaker 6: not ever a freaking second.

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Speaker 4: No no, no, Japan, you did something wrong. I was just

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Speaker 4: gonna say advance.

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Speaker 1: This final laser story is out of fast food headquarters.

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Speaker 1: Here's your chance to hit McDonald's for Valentine's Day and

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Speaker 1: claim that it's fancy. Really, because mcd's just announced a

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Speaker 1: new limited run of McNugget Caviar.

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Speaker 3: Is that raw nuggets?

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Speaker 1: They're getting it away in tins next week at their

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Speaker 1: website mcnuggetcaviard dot com.

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Speaker 5: Wait, this looks like real caviar on top of a McNugget.

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Speaker 4: That's exactly what it is.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was just like a play on the

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Speaker 3: word you know, it's legit.

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Speaker 4: No, it's the real stuff.

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Speaker 1: So if you don't normally like fish eggs, you're probably

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Speaker 1: not gonna like this. But the marketing representatives say it

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Speaker 1: is just normal caviar, but they put it in a

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Speaker 1: McNugget branded tin. Okay, if you.

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Speaker 6: Think that the fish file is weird, yeah, would be

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Speaker 6: a little extreme.

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Speaker 3: How much are you did they say how much this is?

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Speaker 1: They don't put the price, but they do claim the

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Speaker 1: salty savory taste makes it a great dipping sauce.

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Speaker 4: Is good, But I don't.

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Speaker 5: Know that is the wrong crowd. Yeah for this, gimme

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Speaker 5: keeso MC nuggets.

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Speaker 4: They're like, he's going, well, they're not pulling the idea

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Speaker 4: out of nowhere.

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Speaker 1: It blew up back in twenty twenty four after a

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Speaker 1: video and viral of Rihanna trying this exact thing.

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Speaker 4: She seemed to really like it. I could see her

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Speaker 4: doing this.

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Speaker 3: Will billionaire?

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Speaker 1: Yeah at the end of the day, like probably a

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Speaker 1: little higher quality cafo what they're using. But will mccaviar

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Speaker 1: become a huge thing? I certainly hope so, and so

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Speaker 1: does this little guy. He's used to getting his face

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Speaker 1: full of tune it every day, so why not try

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Speaker 1: it at McDonald's.

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Speaker 4: Am I right?

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Speaker 3: What turtles they're tuning?

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Speaker 4: The girls refused to make a sense.

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Speaker 1: Okay here, all right, well you know everybody's gonna hate,

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Speaker 1: but that sound means Laser Stories has come to an

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Speaker 1: end for the day.

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Speaker 4: We'll do it again, same time on Friday, Brook

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Speaker 3: And Jeffrey in the morning.