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Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight, we gotta full you here.

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Speaker 1: It is Strawberry letta all right subject. He's the daddy,

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Speaker 1: but I'm the father. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a

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Speaker 1: thirty year old single man and I had a special

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Speaker 1: lady that I dated for four years. Over the years,

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Speaker 1: we had our differences, so we were on again, off again.

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Speaker 1: During one of our off periods, she dated another guy

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Speaker 1: and she got pregnant. Things did not work out with

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Speaker 1: the guy, and she and I got back together and

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Speaker 1: I vowed to raise the baby as my child. My

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Speaker 1: girl and I have paid for everything that this child

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Speaker 1: has ever needed. Now, my girl and I have called

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Speaker 1: it quits for good. I still love her dearly, but

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Speaker 1: there is no romantic involvement whatsoever. I also still love

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Speaker 1: the baby, and I planned to be a positive fatherly

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Speaker 1: role model for her and treat her like a princess.

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Speaker 1: My ex girl doesn't have a problem with it, but

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Speaker 1: the baby's daddy does. He and I have always had

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Speaker 1: a little tension between us, but we've been cool until recently.

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Speaker 1: When my ex girl and I had a big birthday

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Speaker 1: party for the baby's second birthday. I paid for the

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Speaker 1: party and I hired a photographer. The daddy came to

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Speaker 1: the party for a little while, and he brought two

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Speaker 1: gifts for the baby. When I got the pictures, I

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Speaker 1: put them on my Instagram page and the baby's daddy

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Speaker 1: got mad. He sent me a tech saying we need

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Speaker 1: to talk. Man to man, I'm about me doing too

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Speaker 1: much in his daughter's life. He told me I need

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Speaker 1: to step back. I told him he needs to step up.

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Speaker 1: My ex girl has never has never asked the daddy

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Speaker 1: to do more for her and the baby, because she

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Speaker 1: knows I will do it. The daddy is a convicted

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Speaker 1: felon and he's been in and out of jail for

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Speaker 1: the past three years, but he can still do better

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Speaker 1: at raising his child. So what do I do? Should

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Speaker 1: I ease up and let my ex girlfriend care for

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Speaker 1: the baby alone. I don't need the extra drama in

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Speaker 1: my life. I'm just trying to do what's right. Please help.

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Speaker 1: Who was write Steve Um to the to the letter writer,

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Speaker 1: I mean, aren't you a good guy? And only at

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Speaker 1: thirty years old? I have to say thank you for

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Speaker 1: all that you do taking care of this child that's

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Speaker 1: not yours. Um. Your girlfriend broke up when you I

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Speaker 1: mean you and your girlfriend broke up when you were

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Speaker 1: in one of your off seasons. She went off and

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Speaker 1: got pregnant by another guy. You still love her. You're

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Speaker 1: still loving this child as if it were your own.

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Speaker 1: Congratulations to you. UM, you know there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of men who would not be in your shoes right now.

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Speaker 1: I just have to say that. UM, you know so

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Speaker 1: so we just you know, give you mad props for

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Speaker 1: doing this. UM. I love the line, and Steve even

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Speaker 1: said when I read it, when the dad asked you

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Speaker 1: the baby daddy asked you to step back, and you

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Speaker 1: told him to step up, And that is the issue here.

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Speaker 1: He's not stepping up. You have known this baby and

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Speaker 1: love this baby and with her mom, so you feel

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Speaker 1: a part of this baby's life. So you do step

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Speaker 1: in and step up and take care of things when

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Speaker 1: when it's needed. But now I gotta ask you because

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like it seems like the little girl

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Speaker 1: has two dads. Does she know who her real dad is?

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Speaker 1: Does she think you're her dad? Or what is the situation?

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Speaker 1: You didn't make that clear in the letter. It doesn't matter,

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Speaker 1: you know, if the dad's a convicted felon as long

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Speaker 1: as long as he's doing his responsibility as a dad.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like he is. I do think in

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Speaker 1: this situation, you may need to step back. Let the

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Speaker 1: mom and him get it together, whatever their relationship is,

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Speaker 1: to take care of this baby. You know, she If

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Speaker 1: you're the real dad, and apparently you are, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if the other guy's a real dad, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: and apparently he is, Let's see what he's going to do.

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Speaker 1: He's the daddy. He wants you to step back. It's

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Speaker 1: not your biological child. So perhaps you should step back

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Speaker 1: and let this dad take over and take care of

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Speaker 1: his child. See what he's going to do. You can

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Speaker 1: wait it out. You said you don't need the extra drama.

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Speaker 1: Just wait and see what they're gonna do, and maybe

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Speaker 1: that'll make the mom step up and require more of

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Speaker 1: the real dad too. Steve, all right, we got a

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Speaker 1: problem here because I have to straighten some out. I

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Speaker 1: think I don't know if people are going to agree

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Speaker 1: with me on this, but I've talked it over with

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Speaker 1: several fathers because I've lived this predicament here. He's the daddy,

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Speaker 1: but I'm the father. All you have to do is

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Speaker 1: reverse that. It he's the father. He's the father of

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Speaker 1: the baby. The father is the person who provided to see.

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Speaker 1: That's the father. The daddy is the one who takes

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Speaker 1: care of him, the one that the baby turns mind says, daddy,

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Speaker 1: Can I go to school? Daddy? Can I Can I

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Speaker 1: have some ice cream? Daddy? Can you take me to

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Speaker 1: the park? That's daddy. I've often said this, any male species,

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Speaker 1: any member of the male species, can father a child.

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Speaker 1: It takes a special man to be a daddy. And

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Speaker 1: you saw and you, sir that wrote this letter, are

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Speaker 1: that special man. For sure, you are that special man.

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Speaker 1: You're the daddy. I just I just want you to

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Speaker 1: understand the terminology so you can understand what you really

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Speaker 1: got going on him. He's the father because on the

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Speaker 1: birth certificate probably would have to have his name. You know,

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Speaker 1: he fathered the child. He fathered the child. But that's

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Speaker 1: just one step. You know, if every father would act

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Speaker 1: like a daddy, then we could solve all these problems

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Speaker 1: we have in our communities, and we could solve all

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Speaker 1: the problems with having mentors. But see the problem is, brother,

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Speaker 1: every father don't act like you. Every father shucks his

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Speaker 1: responsibility and walk off and act like them. Kids don't exist.

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Speaker 1: That's why you are needed as so much as the daddy.

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Speaker 1: Now your girl and I, y'all and finally called it

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Speaker 1: quits for good. You still love him, but there's no

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Speaker 1: romantic involvement, but you say you still love the baby,

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Speaker 1: and I plan to be a positive fatherly role model

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Speaker 1: for her and treat it like a princess. I applaud

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Speaker 1: you for that. Max, Girl don't have a problem with

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Speaker 1: But the baby's father does? You say the baby's daddy,

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Speaker 1: but he ain't do it. Daddies do duties. Daddy's is

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Speaker 1: who the child can call daddy. Daddy. Very few women,

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Speaker 1: very few children go father, They go daddy. And so

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Speaker 1: the father got a problem. Now, y'all had always had

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Speaker 1: a little bit of tension between us, but we've been

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Speaker 1: cool into recently. My ex girlfriend and had a big

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Speaker 1: birthday party for the baby's second I pay for the party,

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Speaker 1: hire the photographer. Guess what did he show up? Disney Dad.

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Speaker 1: Here he comes. Ain't brought a damn thing, now he

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Speaker 1: Disney Dad. I got something for that when we come

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Speaker 1: back right after this. So you just stay tuned because

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Speaker 1: now you're don't paid for everything. Now here he come

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Speaker 1: Disney Dad. You don't pay for parties photographers, and he

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Speaker 1: bringing a little too little park as givesn he here

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Speaker 1: he comes subject. He's the daddy, but I'm the father.

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Speaker 1: But you switch that around, recap. He's the father, you're

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Speaker 1: the daddy. See he fathered the child, but being the

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Speaker 1: father of that he gives you certain rights, of course

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Speaker 1: by law. But the respect that's gonna come from the

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Speaker 1: child is the one that she got that she calls daddy,

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Speaker 1: the one that's dad, the one that's walking her to school,

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Speaker 1: taking her to the park, holding her hand, going to

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Speaker 1: father daughter dances. That's the one who really deserves the credit.

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Speaker 1: And you, sir, deserve a lot of credit. Now we

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Speaker 1: got a problem because there's always been a little bit

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Speaker 1: of tension between you and homeboy Hill. But see now

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Speaker 1: the problem is okay, it all jumped off when y'all

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Speaker 1: you threw this big birthday party for the baby's second birthday.

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Speaker 1: You pay for the party, hid the photographer. The daddy

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Speaker 1: came to the party for a little while, he bought

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Speaker 1: two gifts for the baby. Then when you got the pictures,

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Speaker 1: because you were proud daddy, you posted him. Man, look

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Speaker 1: at my little baby over here put him on the

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Speaker 1: Instagram baby and the baby daddy got mad. But see,

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Speaker 1: I bet you the baby daddy didn't put it on

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Speaker 1: his Instagram page. Betty didn't, probably didn't, just like he

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Speaker 1: didn't pay for the photographer, just like he didn't pay

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Speaker 1: for the party. But he bought two gifts. But he

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Speaker 1: came to the party you paid for. See that, That's

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Speaker 1: why did daddy be getting tight at You're gonna roll

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Speaker 1: up in here while everything ain't sponsored. Now you're gonna

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Speaker 1: play Disney Dan like ding ding ding ding here ill come,

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Speaker 1: oh bro, come on, man, Okay, you put him up.

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Speaker 1: He's sent me a text saying we need to talk

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Speaker 1: man to man about me doing too much in his

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Speaker 1: daughter's life. So if you didn't throw the party, the

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Speaker 1: baby wasn't gonna hand a party because the father show

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Speaker 1: wasn't chunking out no change for no party. But the

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Speaker 1: daddy did so now he said you're doing too much

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Speaker 1: in He told me I need to step back. Then

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Speaker 1: you told him right, you told him he need to

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Speaker 1: step up. See not not see see since we're talking

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Speaker 1: man to man, you gave it to him right tween

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Speaker 1: the teeth talking. No, I need to step back. No,

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Speaker 1: no party, then you need to step up. But see

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Speaker 1: you doing what daddies do because you know how to

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Speaker 1: do what daddies do. Now you're making him look bad. No,

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Speaker 1: he making himself look bad in and out of jail. Now. Look,

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Speaker 1: people can get in and out of jail and be

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Speaker 1: great dads, but obviously he ain't doing that though. Now

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Speaker 1: if you want to be the girl daddy, we're taking

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Speaker 1: your ass to jail through every every time you get

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Speaker 1: on probation. Come on, dog. My ex has never asked

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Speaker 1: the daddy to do more for her and the baby

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Speaker 1: because she knows I will do it the daddy. The

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Speaker 1: father is a convicted fella. He's been in and out

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Speaker 1: of jail for the past three years. He got to

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Speaker 1: fix that part of his life. If the children is

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Speaker 1: so important to him, then be available for your children.

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Speaker 1: But he can still do He can still do better

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Speaker 1: at raising his chow ya can. So what do I do?

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Speaker 1: Should I ease up and let my ex girlfriend care

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Speaker 1: for the baby alone. I don't need the extra drama

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Speaker 1: in my life. I'm just trying to do us right.

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Speaker 1: Shirley's exactly right. If the father wants you to step back. Technically, legally,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to step back or else it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be some drama. But see, when he don't step up,

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Speaker 1: then if he don't step up, then the daughter gonna

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Speaker 1: be lacking. And we just have to see high gold.

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Speaker 1: But see, the mother gonna have to get involved here

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Speaker 1: a little bit and say, hey, look, you are gonna

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Speaker 1: have to step up and do the right thing because

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Speaker 1: this man loves this little girl and he's willing to

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Speaker 1: do the right thing. Now what you're gonna do. But

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Speaker 1: that puts you in a hard place, man, because now

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Speaker 1: she got to speak up for you, and it puts

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Speaker 1: her in this part a hard place because maybe she

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Speaker 1: would love for the father to have an active role

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Speaker 1: in the daughter's life, as do most women. Most women

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Speaker 1: would love for the father of the baby to do

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Speaker 1: the right thing. It's just a dog gonna shame that

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Speaker 1: there's so many out here who don't want to do

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Speaker 1: the right thing by their children. So we have a dilemma.

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Speaker 1: But you told him right, you're gonna have to step up.

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Speaker 1: So just hey, man, you're about to be in a

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Speaker 1: thankless position. Bro. I hate to tell you this, but

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Speaker 1: you may be in a thankless position, but just stay

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Speaker 1: in the background. If the baby needs something, get it

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Speaker 1: for when you go over there and speak to it

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Speaker 1: and play with her. Just go ahead and do it.

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Speaker 1: Stay out the dudes way, because you know ain't no

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Speaker 1: telling what he would do. He already ain't making a

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Speaker 1: lot of solid decisions. So you know, man, you don't

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Speaker 1: want to be put yourself in a position where you

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Speaker 1: got to get yourself locked up too, So you gotta

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Speaker 1: step back, be there in case the baby needs something.

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Speaker 1: Ain'tn't need her. The baby suffering because her damn father

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Speaker 1: makes it irrational decisions, and you're gonna have to play

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Speaker 1: it in the background. The baby gonna get older, he

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Speaker 1: may go down and get his ass locked up for

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Speaker 1: thirty years he keep on, so you know, just stick around, man.

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Speaker 1: But right now it's gonna be a thankless job. You

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Speaker 1: do understand that. But if you could be there to

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Speaker 1: help the lady out with a child, that's an admirable

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Speaker 1: thing to do. It won't be a lot of thanks

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Speaker 1: and benefits for it. Maybe you can go by and

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Speaker 1: see the girl when when butt hole ain't around, But

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Speaker 1: you gotta be careful because if you roll up on you,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a problem. You do understand that. And

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Speaker 1: the real problem ain't the baby. The real problem is

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Speaker 1: the woman. She ain't trying to make it no problem,

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Speaker 1: but he kind of created the problem for itself because

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Speaker 1: he can't stay out of jail, so he jealous about

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Speaker 1: the baby. But he don't want you up around his wife,

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Speaker 1: around his girl, because you making him look bad in

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Speaker 1: front of the woman. That's the real deal. So please

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Speaker 1: understand that. Keep doing your things supported when you can.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be a thankless job, soldier. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 1: tell you that, but eventually it could turn around. You

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Speaker 1: may end up with the little girl in your life anyway.

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Speaker 1: And what a good guy, right. Stevens was on point, man,

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Speaker 1: he's on point. He really really. Don't stand up so

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Speaker 1: hard that you get yourself in a bad situation with

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Speaker 1: this butthole and then you and jail two. Don't do that.

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Speaker 1: Step back, play the game, yep, and when you need it,

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Speaker 1: you'll know it. Boy, oh boy, well, I mean you

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Speaker 1: know all right? Here we go. Listen. You can email

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Speaker 1: us or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: It's Steve Harvey FM. You're listening to the sty Morning

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Speaker 1: show