WEBVTT - Pero Like, What's My Life Calling? 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:07.440 I'm honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:09.880 and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:14.440 I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez wins it. 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.720 But I was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:21.920 a mama, and a worker being. This is life in Spanglish. 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:32.960 Don't mess it up, honey. How are you feeling today? 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.879 I'm feeling good. It's it's a good positive day. Yesterday 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:38.879 was rainy, but today looks nice. I've been having a 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:42.159 couple of weeks and this dog is about to go 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.800 to the pound. No, I'm just kidding, um my dog, 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:47.400 you guys, she is like in her puppy stage still. 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:50.279 Everybody says that like a German shepherd, once they hit 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:53.120 three years old, that's when they start to calm down. 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:55.680 And how old is she? She was like a year 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:57.000 and a half. I got a year and a half 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:00.320 left of this and like I did not if that 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:07.600 I would when something, well, yeah, the mambo whatever. I mean. 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.039 This girl is ripping up my my house. I went upstairs. 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:14.199 I had feathers everywhere, and I'm like, oh my gosh. 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.040 When I tell you tore up a pillow, but not 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.280 just any pillow, a down pillow. So I had like 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.320 blue muss everywhere. I was finding blue mugs in my 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:24.880 butt like after a week, like you just know, don't 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:27.200 even know where they are, you know. So anyway, I 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.080 am so glad to be here with you. She is 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:34.200 safely upstairs, and we don't know why I keep picturing 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.119 you coughing up feathers right now. I don't know why 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:41.119 I care, because it's very likely that that would happen 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:42.760 to I'm not even kidding you. Like I was finding 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:44.640 feathers in my hair. I was like, I took a shower, 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.280 like what is going on? This girl is driving me nuts? 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:49.960 So you know what they say, pandemic dogs will make 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.560 you pay, and she is one of them. Um But anyway, 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.880 I digress. So I've been looking forward to talking to you, honey, 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.080 because this is like my one time where I get 0:01:58.080 --> 0:01:59.920 to be me. This is my time where I get 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:04.120 like it's me and you. We just sit down for real. 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:06.080 It feels like like a date. It feels like a 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.560 lunch date, and we just talk about what mean you 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.440 want to talk about. There's nobody else involved totally, and 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.880 I know that you had brought up an idea for today, 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:15.600 which you know, I don't know. I feel like I 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:18.040 speak to this a lot, but I definitely think there's 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.840 a deeper dive that we can take on this because 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.080 there are so many people who are in this stage 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:25.560 of their life right now, especially after like these past 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:29.559 two years where you're really thinking about things and reassessing 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:32.600 kind of like your life situations. So um so talk 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.920 to me and wondering you just overall, you know, what's 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.040 your life calling? Like, what's your purpose on this earth? 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.000 Because it definitely isn't working for a boss that doesn't 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.520 appreciate you and underpays you. What is your life calling? 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.600 I think we should definitely hit on that one totally. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.760 You know. It's it's so interesting whenever people ask me 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.320 about this, like just working in the radio field, and 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.720 I always go to my father. I don't even think 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.600 about myself when I think about this topic. You know, 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.720 I think about my dad, who was a little boy 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:08.880 in Nicarawa who basically had a mother as a seamstress 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:12.480 and a father who was you know, I mean they labored, 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:14.760 they labored. Let's just say that, you know, they were 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.280 not professional people. I mean, listen, they were beautiful people, 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.079 don't get me wrong, but they did not have a 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:22.239 career profession per se. So you know, we can't really 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.880 say that. So my dad, Yeah, we're talking about my 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:30.440 grandparents on my father's side, you know. So, um, you know, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.840 my dad has a life calling and I really looked 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.840 to him whenever people ask me this question because it's 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.839 like it gives me goose bumps. You know, how did 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.560 he know, like how did he know as a little boy, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.680 without having any kind of influence professionally, that he wanted 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:47.160 to be a doctor, you know, and to have that 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.680 dream and to work toward that dream. You know. So 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.520 when my dad reached I believe it was seven years old, 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.440 he retired. And we always go back to when we say, Daddy, 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:00.800 you retired and you came out of retirement like not 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:04.440 even a year later. And he said, yeah, he did 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.560 not stay retired for very long. And I said, you 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:09.120 know why, you this is your time. You can relax, 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:10.760 you can go travel with mommy, you know, you can 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:12.720 do all this stuff. And he said, this is my 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.600 life's work. Helping people and being a doctor is all 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.839 I ever wanted to do. So if you took that 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.840 away from me, which is retirement. He was like, I 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:26.320 just didn't feel like myself. And I'm like, wow, what 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:30.120 a strong conviction to have, you know what I mean, 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.320 Like at seventy most people are like piecing out. They're like, 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.200 don't call me, don't write me, don't ask me for help. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:40.000 You know. Yeah, But for him, you know, it means something, 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.200 you know it it touches his heart, like God bless him. 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.039 You know the fact that he was lucky enough to 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.680 determine his life calling you know, once and for all, 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:52.000 because you know, different people have several careers throughout their 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.080 life the end have developed this as a kid and 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.159 at seventy to still want to do it, Like what 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:01.159 a blessing. I envy him and a but I envy him. 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.000 It is. It's a beautiful thing. And that's the reason 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:04.600 why it's like, you know, there are so many people 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:06.440 who were kind of like floundering. And I don't mean 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:08.440 that in a negative way. You know, you've you've tried 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:10.680 one thing, you dabbled in it, you know, and then 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:13.120 from there you were like, maybe it's not for me. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.120 So then you know, you make the decision to have 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.440 a changing career. So you go to the next thing. 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.800 And you know, there a lot of people I've done it. 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:23.520 You know, I've done it. I've been there. You know. 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.120 The legal field was my life for like, you know, 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:30.640 since I was a teenager, like you know, at like nineteen, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.760 I was already working in the legal field, you know, 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:35.080 and I stood there for years. You know, I went 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:39.120 on I did two years paralegal program, then I did 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.880 four years criminal justice program. Then I started studying for 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:44.280 the ELSAT and I was like, I'm going to be 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:47.320 an attorney. And then she got all Kim Kardashian on us. 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:53.159 She wanted to take the bar Elwoods Woods, and then 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:57.360 media came about. And you know, when I started working 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.880 for I Heart and for Power one oh five, I 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:03.120 actually had the big Ask Else that book on the 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.359 coffee table in my house and I lived five minutes 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.120 from St. John's University because that's where I dreamed of 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.080 going to school to be an attorney. And you know what, 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:15.359 it was pivot time. I decided, no, you know what, 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.400 I love music, I love hip hop, I love New 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:19.880 York and I gave up all those dreams because I 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:23.400 felt like my life purpose would probably be in media, 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:26.080 in radio and in hip hop. So I mean, you've 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:27.720 definitely made your mark, you know what I mean. I 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:29.480 feel like it was a good decision. But for some 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.760 people it really it really is a life change, you 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:34.120 know what I mean. And I'm not just talking about 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.840 media in general. It's like, you know, there's somebody who 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.000 we know who was in media and who basically now 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.440 has decided I'm gonna become a nurse. I'm gonna become 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.040 a nurse. I'm leaving the radio world and this has 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:47.000 a better purpose for me and is going back to 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:49.920 school and is doing all of the hard work and training, 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:51.839 and I'm like, God, bless you, you know what I mean, 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.640 Like helping people does give you a sense of purpose. 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:58.800 So I don't blame this person. And she's like, you 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:00.880 know what, I did this for very long time, but 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.480 did I really truly make a difference in this world? 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:05.839 And maybe that's what they're seeking, And that is I 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.920 think what a lot of people, including your dad, seek 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.920 when they want to find a life purpose. Yeah, you know, 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:14.920 like for me, there's never been a question like my 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:17.800 life's calling. I mean, I don't know. I I look 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:20.600 at it two ways. I've I've always wanted to be 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.280 a mother, so I always say, like, the biggest job 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:25.720 or the greatest job that I've ever had is being 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.080 a mother to my two children. But like as a 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.160 little girl, the only thing I ever dreamed of was 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:33.600 being on the radio, and being on that's amazing is 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.240 the only thing I ever wanted, you know. I remember 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:38.120 I was nine years old, guys, okay, and I'm gonna 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.560 walk you back to like it was summer. My parents 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.360 never really did a whole lot with us over the summer, 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:45.160 so we were kind of like left to our own devices. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.960 And my parents would always put out the newspaper in 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:58.200 the morning, right, no, no, yeah, you know like that. 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:01.200 My mom was nutty about the air conditioner. Right. I 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:03.680 remember being nine years old and I'm in my bedroom. 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:06.440 You know what. I can even picture the wallpaper right now. 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.640 It had beautiful little pink flowers, and I had curtains 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.520 that were pink that were like, you know, framing my window. 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.760 And I took up the War in Tribune upstairs, and 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.520 I was like, you know, I'm just gonna read the newspaper. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:20.080 I'm nine years old, right, so I'm reading the newspaper 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:21.920 and then in the back. Now, for those of you 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:24.120 who are listening, who don't remember newspapers. And I'm not 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.200 saying that in a negative way or like in a 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.160 condescending way. There are people who really don't know what 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.640 newspapers look like. But back in the day, there was 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:34.600 these things called the want ads. So people would put 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.120 ads out for things that they needed, like, you know, 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:39.679 whether you needed a lawnmowing service, you know, things of 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:41.640 that nature. But I remember reading in the back of 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:45.160 the paper and there was a ad and it said, 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.800 so you want to be a star, how to how 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:52.960 to get a Hollywood agent? How to make it in 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:56.320 the business? Do you think you should be on TV? 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:59.439 And it gave an address and it was a pamphlet. 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.360 It was a pamphlet. So I remember thinking to myself, 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:04.880 what am I going to do? I want this, I 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:08.200 need I need in I want the information. I was 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:12.559 nine years old, and so I remember I sent cash, honey, 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.600 Bible hand to God. I sent cash and I sent 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.640 my information. Did you steal it from your parents? No? No, 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:21.560 because I used to earn money here and there, you 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:23.120 know what I mean, like I was always like a 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:27.040 worker bee. No, but I did memorize my dad's credit 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:30.800 card later on. So but so anyway, I reached out 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.960 to them, I send them cash. I get this booklet 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:36.040 and it's all of this information on how to become 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.880 how to get started in the world of television, you know. 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:42.200 And it told you how you had to do theater, 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.160 and you had to get a resume, you had to 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.559 do all of these things. And so from that moment, 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.240 I remember saying, this is what I need to do 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.880 in order to get ahead. So really, from the age 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.040 of nine years old, that's when it started for me. 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.240 So life's calling, Yes, this has always been what I 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:00.920 wanted to do, never a question, and you know, I 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.960 think my lucky stars that I've been able to do it. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:05.520 But then I also want to remind people that there 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:08.760 have been a lot of bumps along the way. Yeah, 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.960 you gotta share apparently you know it was a smooth sailing. 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.600 Yeah you had your life calling nice and early, but 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:17.240 you went through some ship absolutely, and you know what. 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.600 Like So, there are many different phases of my life 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:21.600 where I feel like, you know, maybe I could have, 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:24.560 you know, seeing what I want to do with my life. 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:26.920 So for example, you know, when I was single and 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:30.199 working at Z one hundred, and I had the opportunity 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:34.439 to go and help build an orphanage in Nicaragua. There 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:38.160 is no feeling that can describe the way that it 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.880 felt to look at that wall and to look at 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.840 the different bricks and the things that we did to 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.200 help lay the foundation to do all of those things. 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:47.120 So that's where it's like, you know what, Yeah, is 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:51.160 radio my life calling maybe, but you know, helping other people, 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:53.760 going back to my parents country and giving back like 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.840 that is my life calling. Being an amazing mother to 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:59.800 my two children and raising two beautiful little humans that 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:01.520 can give back, And you know, I mean that could 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:03.520 be my life's calling. So you know, there's just it's 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.880 just I guess it's just a matter of perspective. It 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.640 really is what is important. You know, for some people, 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.120 having money is important, you know, having status in the 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:16.920 community is important. But to me, helping people is most important. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.800 And you know, sometimes I think, I'm like, yeah, I 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.280 love my job, I love my career, but am I 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.720 doing enough to help people? And that's the only thing 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.560 that um that kind of like throws me off that 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.079 I'm not doing enough to help people. You know, there 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.000 was an intern that we had just a couple of 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.439 years ago, and I always referenced her because I feel 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.920 like she is just so strong, and you know, she 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.320 was fearless when she decided to do this. So she 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:43.000 became a teacher. She went to school, went to grad 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:47.000 school to become a teacher, and was teaching for two years, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.240 I believe, you know, I'm I'm trying to remember all 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:52.160 of the details, and decided one day this is not 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.960 for me, this was not her life's calling. So she 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:57.840 decided to go back to school to get into radio 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:01.480 at possibly the worst time ever, because she was an 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:04.080 intern and I just graduated and it was doing and 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.120 was graduating and everything was doing stuff during the pandemic. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:10.079 And it's like I speak to her still and we 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.040 communicate with each other, And I asked her, do you 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:14.800 ever regret it? Like, do you ever regret not teaching 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.400 and deciding to come into radio? And she says, without 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:22.040 a doubt, no question, no, because I knew that I 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.199 couldn't find the happiness that I wanted doing what I 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.720 was doing. Like has it been hard? Has it been 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:31.079 super challenging? Absolutely? But you know, the rewards I think 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.920 are greater because you're doing what you have a passion for. 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.960 You know, you know, it's sometimes it's hard, to really determine, 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.000 like is this my life calling? You know, is this 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.959 what I'm passionate about? Like how do you know, Caroline, 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.520 I like, Okay, a d percent, this is it. There's 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.600 no you know, doubt in your mind, like maybe I 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.880 could have been a better doctor like my dad, or 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:53.760 maybe I could have been a teacher. I love being 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:55.800 a mom. Maybe I could have worked with a hundred 0:12:55.880 --> 0:13:00.600 kids versus two kids. Never a question, never a question, honestly, 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:04.760 like no. And even when I was going to college, 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:09.000 you know, and there was mass communication, was like the general, um, 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.120 you know, direction that I could take at the one 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.000 school that I was going to, I always said, broadcasting. 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.040 I want to specialize in broadcasting. What can I do? 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:20.480 There was just such a laser focus to what I 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.520 wanted to do that even when I went to Arizona State, 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.760 which offered so many different majors and so many different minors, 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.840 it never swayed me from my course. I never said, well, 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.880 you know, accounting was always really interesting to me, like hell, no, 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.800 I'm really bad at numbers. I'm awful with science, Like 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:41.200 I know where my strengths are and I'm no, no, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.959 it's just there's too much personality to be crunching numbers 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.280 all day. You know, you know what's crazy. When I 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:50.800 first started Long Island University, my major was communications. For 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.840 some reason, I was like communications, and then after one semester, 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.440 I was like, hell, no, I'm never gonna make it 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:58.520 in media. I'm never gonna be on a radio. I'm not. 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:01.080 And I kind of like off to myself out of 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.560 where I am now. I want to I say that 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.920 just to share that if you have a life calling 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:07.840 in your mind, you know you love something and you 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:11.120 want to do it, don't psych yourself out of it. 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.400 Don't And you know what, if you love it, the 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.240 money will come. I was always like, oh, hey, if 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:19.240 I do legal, there's a million law firms. I could 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.320 be a lawyer. I'll just take the bar. It'll be fine. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.120 I'll make money. But then I was like, with radio, 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.160 there's only a certain amount of radio jobs. Nah, don't 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.560 do this, girl. Don't waste your money. Ally, you is 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.120 too much bread for you to be wasting it in communications. 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:34.600 And then I graduated. I did four years criminal justice 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:36.760 and then I got a job in media. Look at that, 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.160 you know what I mean. It's like it was still 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.680 in the background. Maybe it was in your subconscious you 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:45.200 know what. Morely was not it? Shortly surely was because 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:47.640 you know my website honey German dot com, the gossip 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.440 website that I launched, you know, probably fifteen years ago. 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.360 I launched it, and I would do it during my 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.760 break hour at the law firms wherever I worked. I 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.960 always brought a laptop with me, and you're lunch, I 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.800 wouldn't eat. I would go and conference room and I 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.360 would bother my ass off. So it goes to show 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:05.800 you like it never left me. I was just worried 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:10.200 about monetary um security, especially you know, living in New York, 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.360 there's no like you, and not coming from parents that 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.800 had money and not marrying into money. I was always like, 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:17.200 do loo Like. I always felt like I had to 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:19.840 fend for myself. So I had to make these decisions, 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.400 like you know where you're gonna make money at law firms, 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:24.760 the legal field. If you don't know what you love 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:29.280 and it's always like itching, go with it, that's your 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.800 life calling. Man. If you can't shake it off, that's 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.560 your life calling. Because it's kind of hard for a 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.840 lot of people to determine, you know, what their life 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.520 calling really really is. Yeah, it's so true too. And 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.080 you know it's so funny when you bring up that 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.960 you were blogging on your lunch hour. Do you follow 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.440 an account on Instagram? It's called the Girl with No Job? 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.720 She is okay, she just wrote a book. She's um. 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.280 I listened to another podcast where she was discussing how 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:55.800 she went on, like how she became what she is now, 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:57.720 which is you know, like I mean, now she has 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.960 her own podcast, she has her amazing account with millions 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.800 of followers. And she said basically, she was in an 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.320 entry level job and Instagram was new at the time, 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:09.760 and she was sharing memes and it just became a 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:13.320 thing and it steamrolled into like what her career is today. 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:18.120 So was that her intentional life calling? Probably not, you 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:19.880 know what I mean, Like she was doing what you 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.080 were doing exactly, you know, but she had an interest 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.560 in this and she I guess she got in early, 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.480 you know what I mean, she got it, definitely got it. 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:29.600 And let me ask you a question. Is Boy with 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.400 No Job her boyfriend? I've always wondered. I don't think so. 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.840 I don't know. I didn't they didn't go into that, 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:36.200 but you know, I think that It's like when you 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.400 start something good and people are ripping you off. I mean, 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:40.920 they say imitation is the highest form of flattery. So 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.480 I guess somebody saw that she was doing great and 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:45.800 they figured, well, I'm a guy with no job, you know, 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.880 so I'm gonna start doing this job and growing no job. Yeah, 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:55.720 you never know where you're gonna get your inspiration. Then again, 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:57.640 there's also like, so let's say you do have your 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.360 life calling. And for example, you know, I can always 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.760 referenced back to when I was on Z one hundred 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:06.320 and I decided to leave. There was one woman who 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.760 is who was very influential, She has a very high position, 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.720 and she looked at me and I kid you not, 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:15.920 I was leaving the show and she said to me, 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:20.480 you silly little girl. And I said, excuse me, but 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:23.359 you were leaving the show to start your morning show, right, No, 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.359 I was leaving the show to start a morning show 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:31.200 on television, which to me was a huge opportunity even 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.320 though it was a local morning show. It wasn't a 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.480 syndicated show. You know, I feel like you were going 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.120 home to hang out. You had something big lined up, 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.200 well big for me, you know what I mean? Because 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:41.760 it was like that was always the goal for me, 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:44.399 was like, you know, working radio and television, and and 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:47.200 you know, TV is even harder than radio to break into. 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:49.320 And as a thirty something year old, I thought, oh 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:52.160 my gosh, anchoring a morning show in New York City 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:59.199 market one, like there's no question exactly. And so for 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.280 for this person who I really revered and looked up to, 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.520 for for her to look at me and to say that, 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.840 I felt so crushed. I was like, wow, you know 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.560 what I mean, like, thanks for stepping on my dream 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:12.280 a little bit before I even get to go and 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:15.080 do it. Now. It didn't exactly pan out. You know, 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:18.280 the show got canceled after two years. I didn't know 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:19.880 that it was part of a plan to just get 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.359 a license, and there's all this backstory and stuff like 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.639 that to it. But bottom line is I don't regret 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:30.600 taking that leap and and trying something for myself because 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.080 it wouldn't have put me on the course now where 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.080 I am hosting a morning show and I am working 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:37.560 with somebody who I used to work with, you know 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:39.800 what I mean. So it's like, you know, fear. I 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:41.960 think it holds a lot of people back and It's 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:44.800 exactly what you were talking about, like your negative self speak. 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:48.359 You were basically psyching yourself out of getting into media 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:50.920 before you could even start. If I would have let 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:52.560 that woman psych me out, I could have been like, 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:54.720 well fuck it, I'm gonna stay here. You're right. What 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:58.439 am I thinking? No? I had a rich experience that 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:02.560 I will always look back on. And I'm living my life. 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:04.520 You know what I'm saying, Like, you're not you get 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:08.639 one chance to do this. You're not here for anyone else, 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:10.440 you know what I mean. But there are so many 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:14.680 people who find their life's calling later on in life. Girl, 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.240 I've seen a bunch of memes. It's like such and such. 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:21.480 Morgan Freeman started acting at like this age. Walt Disney 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:24.240 got rejected fifty five times. Like I see those memes 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.120 all the time. They're aspiring and they're not a lie. 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:29.720