1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,800
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff.

2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:18,959
Speaker 1: I never told your protection of iHeart Radio. It is

3
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,840
Speaker 1: time for another half hour. I'll say this one is

4
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,240
Speaker 1: a bitter sweet hour. I come good, some bad, We're

5
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,000
Speaker 1: gonna go all over. As always with these episodes, drink

6
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:35,280
Speaker 1: responsibly if you choose to do so. That being said, Samantha,

7
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,040
Speaker 1: what are you sipping on? Uh? You know what, because

8
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:42,159
Speaker 1: I really enjoy our Antil tequila. Decided to take that

9
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 1: coconut lime and make it a Mexican mule again. I

10
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:54,400
Speaker 1: am drinking on a really refreshing vodka soda cucumber basil lime.

11
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,280
Speaker 1: Oh you didn't want to say it, Basil. I feel

12
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,160
Speaker 1: like every time I do, judgment comes my way, so

13
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 1: I try. I'm trying to change my pronunciation, do you well.

14
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,640
Speaker 1: It's one of those things, and I'm sure a lot

15
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:15,240
Speaker 1: of people can relate to this, where now it's become

16
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,800
Speaker 1: a stumbling block of I know the word is coming,

17
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, how are you going to pronounce it?

18
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,600
Speaker 1: And so instead of just speaking as I normally would,

19
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,200
Speaker 1: now it's become like a thing in my brain of

20
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,080
Speaker 1: how are you going to say it? It's kind of

21
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,720
Speaker 1: like how we have like names and we know how

22
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 1: to say it, and then we come to like oh

23
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 1: forgotten m yeah, which is something actually that you must

24
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,880
Speaker 1: confront when you work in an audio medium, of like,

25
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,760
Speaker 1: oh I say that kind of strangely, are huh? I

26
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,640
Speaker 1: say that a lot? Or there's some things like either

27
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,040
Speaker 1: and either where I know it doesn't matter, but for

28
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 1: some reason, every time that word is coming, I'm like,

29
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 1: how are you going to pronounce at this time? Invests

30
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,360
Speaker 1: me up. I feel like that would like caramel or

31
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,160
Speaker 1: caramel caramelia. Whenever I'm ordering something and I drive through,

32
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, if I say it one way and they

33
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,080
Speaker 1: go humh, I'll switch it up. Yes, Yes, I'm glad.

34
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 1: This is a universal experience, it seems. But we're not

35
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:17,400
Speaker 1: talking about that today Specifically. I want to talk about

36
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,200
Speaker 1: a kind of something I'm still working through, so it

37
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: might be a bit messy when I when I'm discussing it.

38
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:30,280
Speaker 1: But recently, because of a lot of different things, a

39
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:35,720
Speaker 1: lot of different reasons, I have had to really face

40
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 1: how other people see me as a queer person. Which

41
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,440
Speaker 1: it's strange because you know me really well, Samantha, and

42
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,400
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of times I'm very open

43
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,359
Speaker 1: on the show. We're both very open on this show.

44
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:56,320
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm hiding myself generally, even if

45
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 1: I do perform in some situations, I'm still like more

46
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:04,919
Speaker 1: or less myself, and I don't really get too bogged

47
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:11,079
Speaker 1: down into oh, they must see me this way. Um.

48
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,880
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do, like like we all do, but generally

49
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,160
Speaker 1: I don't. And and I do think there's a part

50
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,320
Speaker 1: of me being in this kind of liberal bubble in

51
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,519
Speaker 1: Atlanta where to me, like, if you tell me you're

52
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 1: you identify X y Z way, then cool. Like I'm

53
00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:28,880
Speaker 1: not going to question it, so I expect other people

54
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:34,040
Speaker 1: not to question it. But lately I have had both

55
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,040
Speaker 1: good and bad experiences of people approaching me about this

56
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:43,720
Speaker 1: of me being queer, and it is something that I

57
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,080
Speaker 1: haven't really had to experience even though I've been open

58
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,960
Speaker 1: about it, other than like when I've talked about like

59
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,960
Speaker 1: in high school or college, where people like, oh, you're

60
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:56,680
Speaker 1: not by your experimenting or whatever. I've had that and

61
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,960
Speaker 1: that still sucks and that's terrible and we should stop.

62
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: But like, even at that time, just because the narrative

63
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,160
Speaker 1: is so powerful, even I thought maybe maybe I am

64
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 1: maybe there's a phase or maybe I am experimenting, but

65
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: now it's it's interesting because I've had people come up

66
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 1: to me and it's been really beautiful where they've said, like,

67
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:24,640
Speaker 1: you know, I I also am dealing with stuff that

68
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,440
Speaker 1: you've talked about, and I see you and I appreciate you,

69
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,800
Speaker 1: and it's beautiful, and it's it's like one of those

70
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,880
Speaker 1: things where you kind of don't especially in this medium,

71
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,760
Speaker 1: where you say something and then it goes into the

72
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,560
Speaker 1: internet boid and you're like, maybe no one heard that,

73
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,279
Speaker 1: or it didn't resonate with anybody or whatever it is.

74
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,760
Speaker 1: So that's been really really nice. But then on the

75
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,960
Speaker 1: other end, I've actually had people come up to me

76
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,600
Speaker 1: now and say things like there's no such thing as

77
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,039
Speaker 1: a sexual it just means you don't like sex, or

78
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,320
Speaker 1: like you make me uncomfortable. Things like that, which I've

79
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,279
Speaker 1: never directly faced, like person to person. I've had to

80
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:10,240
Speaker 1: deal with it online and people and give me their

81
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 1: numbers anyway I just want to talk to them. Yeah,

82
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 1: it was very like disconcerting. Again, I think I'm really

83
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,640
Speaker 1: sheltered in a lot of ways because I do. I

84
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:25,760
Speaker 1: have really supportive friends, and I'm in a liberal blue area,

85
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,320
Speaker 1: and I did grow up in a conservative area, but

86
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,400
Speaker 1: at that time, like like I said, I felt like

87
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 1: I could blend in um, which I'm saying a lot

88
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 1: of things in here that are really bad that we

89
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,800
Speaker 1: have to do this or we feel like we have

90
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,240
Speaker 1: to do it. But I felt like, you know, I

91
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,839
Speaker 1: never was somebody that had to deal with a lot

92
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,440
Speaker 1: of the things I've heard other career people and LGBTQ

93
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,920
Speaker 1: plus people have to deal with. And and I talked

94
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,400
Speaker 1: about how that made me feel like I couldn't even

95
00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,440
Speaker 1: claim the the label because I hadn't suffer it enough,

96
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 1: which is messed up too that I could pass. And

97
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,400
Speaker 1: it's just been a really like kind of eye opening experience,

98
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,160
Speaker 1: I think, and a lot of interesting things have happened.

99
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,640
Speaker 1: This is in the past couple of weeks, like maybe

100
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:19,279
Speaker 1: this month that this has all been happening. And I

101
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,560
Speaker 1: realized that like I was almost distancing myself automatically, so

102
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 1: like I would always think of my friends first, or

103
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,599
Speaker 1: like my my career friends first, like oh, this must

104
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,120
Speaker 1: be so upsetting, but I wasn't like affording that to me.

105
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,120
Speaker 1: And then so I started thinking about that, and like,

106
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,279
Speaker 1: what does that say are you making any space for yourself.

107
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 1: And then then I started thinking about how I've never

108
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,880
Speaker 1: officially come out really to anybody but not my family.

109
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,360
Speaker 1: Like again, i feel like I've said it on the show,

110
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,920
Speaker 1: my friends know it, but I've never had like the

111
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,920
Speaker 1: conversation per se. And now I'm thinking about having it.

112
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,160
Speaker 1: And it's through all of this I feel more sure

113
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,320
Speaker 1: than ever, which even though it's been painful, it is

114
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 1: kind of a relief for some reason, like just that

115
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 1: being like, Okay, it's slotting into place, this is how

116
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 1: I identify, this is correct, Like it feels right to me.

117
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:18,280
Speaker 1: So I'm just working through my thoughts on it, and

118
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 1: it does feel very I almost feel embarrassed that I

119
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,440
Speaker 1: know all of these things. But it's when you're like

120
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,080
Speaker 1: dealing with it personally, it's like, oh, this is what

121
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,520
Speaker 1: people are talking about. Oh this this is it. So

122
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:40,640
Speaker 1: I feel like very privileged and selfish and kind of embarrassed. Yeah,

123
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 1: but I feel very supported but kind of isolated at

124
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:50,720
Speaker 1: the same time, kind of like an open wound. And

125
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,240
Speaker 1: all of it feels really tender, but I think it's good.

126
00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:02,520
Speaker 1: It's been overall, uh, people have been really open with

127
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,880
Speaker 1: their own experiences and Um, they make me feel inspired

128
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,440
Speaker 1: and I do feel like I'm ready to take that

129
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:17,120
Speaker 1: next like having the conversation with my mom and all

130
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:24,920
Speaker 1: those all those things. Yeah, yeah, that's It's been something

131
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,640
Speaker 1: that I've been working through. And I think another part

132
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,280
Speaker 1: of this, and we've seen this play out a lot

133
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:36,760
Speaker 1: lately in our media where my friends I recently was

134
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,079
Speaker 1: very lucky I got to hang out with them and

135
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:42,080
Speaker 1: they were it's interesting when you realize somebody sees you

136
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,800
Speaker 1: so well, like somebody knows you so well, and you

137
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,320
Speaker 1: thought maybe like those parts of you were hidden or

138
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,760
Speaker 1: or that they should be hidden or or whatever, but

139
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:55,640
Speaker 1: like they see you. And I my friends were talking

140
00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,760
Speaker 1: about like and we were talking about this to Samantha

141
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,280
Speaker 1: about how I don't complain and I don't ask for

142
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,480
Speaker 1: help and I don't admit that I need help. And

143
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 1: I think as we're seeing like the whole conversation around

144
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,960
Speaker 1: some owe biles play out and like all of these

145
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,880
Speaker 1: people kind of saying like no, I gotta put my

146
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,839
Speaker 1: mental health for yours and all the stuff. Um, it's

147
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 1: kind of related to that where I'm like trying to

148
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,439
Speaker 1: get to a space where I can share what I'm

149
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,080
Speaker 1: going through with people, which as some as a listener,

150
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,160
Speaker 1: you might be like, you do that all the time,

151
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,560
Speaker 1: but it's hard. It's hard when it can be easier

152
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 1: in some ways to do it when you don't know someone,

153
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,960
Speaker 1: and like, I'm just saying this and hoping it resonates,

154
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,360
Speaker 1: But with people that you know and that you love,

155
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,920
Speaker 1: it's kind of different. It can be harder, right, But

156
00:09:44,960 --> 00:10:01,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get better at it. I think on

157
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,120
Speaker 1: all of this, there's such a fine line and knowing

158
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:16,199
Speaker 1: yourself versus hiding yourself versus timing and everything comes into play.

159
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,439
Speaker 1: Everything should be about your comfort. As long as it's

160
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,440
Speaker 1: not harming other people, then no one has the right

161
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,000
Speaker 1: to dictate when you do what and how you do it.

162
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 1: I just recently talked to someone that's very close to me,

163
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,000
Speaker 1: and they also talked about how eventually, kind of like

164
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: you there, they know they're going to want to and

165
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:41,679
Speaker 1: have to talk to their parents and let them know

166
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,400
Speaker 1: they are also queer and has already has started to

167
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:50,400
Speaker 1: feel isolated from their old life because of this, And

168
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:55,120
Speaker 1: there's so many things to that in understanding this is

169
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 1: all about their timing and about what they feel. Because

170
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,880
Speaker 1: we also know when it comes to individuals. We don't

171
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 1: know the story, and it may be harmful for them

172
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,000
Speaker 1: to come out to certain people. It may cost them

173
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,840
Speaker 1: their relationship with certain people, and therefore they feel safer

174
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 1: and not coming out, which makes me sad, because again,

175
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 1: if you have a relationship with someone and you can't

176
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,200
Speaker 1: be completely honest, that relationship feels like it's not a

177
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,240
Speaker 1: relationship in general, and that's heartbreaking, especially for those who

178
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,120
Speaker 1: are close or feel like they've been close and things

179
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:33,199
Speaker 1: have changed. And when things change, inevitably someone's going to

180
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,440
Speaker 1: feel rocked, whether it's yourself or the other, or just

181
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 1: even the interaction, which is unfortunate in itself, and you

182
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,520
Speaker 1: can never dictate how the other will react. There's there's

183
00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,720
Speaker 1: nothing you can do. You can you can't help that

184
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,480
Speaker 1: in any way. And I get that. I think there's

185
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:57,120
Speaker 1: a whole bigger level of conversation and acceptance and also vulnerability.

186
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,400
Speaker 1: And I know, like just watching you, our relationship began

187
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 1: with me talking about yeah, that's you went through therapy. Yeah.

188
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:11,840
Speaker 1: Really really bold of me and probably really insufferable for you.

189
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:17,080
Speaker 1: I apologize, but that level of understanding, hey, this is

190
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 1: where kind of like how you're doing now, eventually you

191
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,320
Speaker 1: will be the story for people to come back to

192
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,560
Speaker 1: and being like, Okay, where you ares where I am now?

193
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 1: I need your advice and maybe you can see something

194
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,160
Speaker 1: beyond what I can see in my intimate circle and

195
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 1: or just my own self reflection, which is really hard.

196
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,520
Speaker 1: It's really hard when you have a point of view

197
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,600
Speaker 1: of yourself, whether it's negative or positive, to change it,

198
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:49,480
Speaker 1: no matter how skewed that is. If that makes sense. Yeah,

199
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,280
Speaker 1: And I think I feel like a lot of listeners

200
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 1: can relate to this when there you're queer or not.

201
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,160
Speaker 1: But there's a when you are vulnerable with someone about

202
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:04,400
Speaker 1: a piece of who you are, and for whatever reason,

203
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:09,600
Speaker 1: their responses you make me uncomfortable or like i'd see

204
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,079
Speaker 1: you differently now than that feels like it's a piece

205
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,440
Speaker 1: of you. So I guess you didn't accept me this

206
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,400
Speaker 1: whole time. Yeah, it's just something you have to take

207
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,960
Speaker 1: into account when you well, you don't have to, but

208
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,920
Speaker 1: it's like it's in the back of your mind, like

209
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:29,080
Speaker 1: it does. It does. And I think like as you're

210
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,520
Speaker 1: talking about being vulnerable and being a piece of you,

211
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,000
Speaker 1: when you're being vulnerable, you're asking that person whether or

212
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 1: not you can trust them, and hoping that you are

213
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,320
Speaker 1: right and trusting them, and when you're denied that, you

214
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:45,679
Speaker 1: feel a betrayal and it's it's painful. It's painful to

215
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:50,360
Speaker 1: feel like you're wrong about a person. And that sounds

216
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,920
Speaker 1: like a huge, huge thing, and it is. It is

217
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,440
Speaker 1: a piece of your identity is a huge thing. But

218
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,360
Speaker 1: on the scope of like, okay, there with me, with

219
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,319
Speaker 1: all these things, there's one thing they're not being supportive.

220
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 1: It is it's heartbreaking because when you're being vulnerable, you

221
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:14,080
Speaker 1: are literally waiting to see if you as your nakedself,

222
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,360
Speaker 1: it's going to be loved. And that's what it feels like.

223
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 1: And that's that judgment that no one wants to understand.

224
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,880
Speaker 1: And and for a lot of those as we talked

225
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,400
Speaker 1: about attachment things, for me, I've cut that off real quick.

226
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,560
Speaker 1: I will not trust you until I absolutely no, because

227
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 1: of the many times that we've been hurt. I've been

228
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 1: hurt over and over and over again, and when I

229
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: would place trust on someone and I've ultimately filed again

230
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,520
Speaker 1: such a big word, betrayed. It makes you retreat into

231
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:47,680
Speaker 1: yourself again in so many ways, and especially when you

232
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 1: have a relationship like I know you and your mom

233
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 1: have a really great relationship. I think it's so adorable,

234
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 1: it's so beautiful. But as then you come into your

235
00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:01,680
Speaker 1: adulthood and in like now things are coming coming out,

236
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 1: you're kind of like and that is that's a huge

237
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,920
Speaker 1: thing because you've grown up relying on this relationship a

238
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,600
Speaker 1: little bit and hoping for the best in this relationship,

239
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 1: and this is a big tale, like this will be

240
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 1: a big making a break good moment in how you

241
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,600
Speaker 1: continue forward into your adult relationship with your mother. Yeah,

242
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 1: I really hope I didn't freak you out with that one.

243
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 1: No pressure. No, I feel confident in how it's gonna go,

244
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 1: which is nice. I mean, hopefully I'm not wrong, but

245
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 1: I do think part of it is. And I know

246
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 1: I'm like preaching to the choir here, and I even

247
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 1: I talked about this. This was a problem I had.

248
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,840
Speaker 1: Is just like knowledge around terms. I didn't know a

249
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,080
Speaker 1: sexual was a thing until I was in college, so

250
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to explain it. And I feel like

251
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 1: I've had to explain it a lot and a lot

252
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,960
Speaker 1: of times what I get is the response of oh,

253
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,480
Speaker 1: you just don't like sex, which is like, no, not quite.

254
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: I mean I guess like whatever. But and I do

255
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: want to end this on a positive note because going

256
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 1: back to your point, Samantha, a lot of listeners have

257
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:12,320
Speaker 1: written in beautiful letters to me as I've kind of

258
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,720
Speaker 1: been going through this, and they are at like different

259
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,680
Speaker 1: parts of the process however you want to say it.

260
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 1: I know it's like a messy process, but they're like, oh,

261
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 1: I remember being where you are now and this is

262
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 1: how I felt and this is what helped me. And

263
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,600
Speaker 1: that's just meant so much to me. And people have

264
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,560
Speaker 1: been like, I've had these bad experiences, but I've had

265
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 1: these beautiful experiences too, where it has been this moment

266
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 1: of like connection and camaraderie and oh I could I

267
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 1: helped inspire you, You helped inspire me, and we're not

268
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 1: alone in this and so it really has. Uh, it's

269
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 1: been a roller coaster of a month. And yeah, and

270
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 1: again like you're saying that that many of those people

271
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 1: are our listeners and you all have made this a community,

272
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 1: whether it is reaching out about the queer community or

273
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,120
Speaker 1: a sexual community, or for me, uh, the Asian community

274
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,640
Speaker 1: or even adoptive community. It's been nice. It's been nice

275
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,959
Speaker 1: to hear whether or those who live in rural areas

276
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: and understand the light of coming out as liberal. Oh

277
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 1: my god, and it's it's been a fun and really

278
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: heartening thing to see and hear when we have people

279
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,160
Speaker 1: reach out and let us know how they are handling

280
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 1: things a and how they understand what where we are at. Yes, yes, honestly,

281
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 1: like we learned so much from all of you and

282
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,399
Speaker 1: we appreciate it so much, so please keep that coming

283
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 1: um in the meantime, Cheers, cheers, cheers, and as always,

284
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,679
Speaker 1: we would love to hear from you. You can emails

285
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 1: at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at ihart media dot com.

286
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast

287
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 1: or Instagram and stuff I've Never told you things as

288
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 1: always to our super producer Christina in our community, Yes, yes,

289
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,679
Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Stuff one never told

290
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,479
Speaker 1: you his prediction of I Heeart Radio from more podcast

291
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,879
Speaker 1: from iHeart Radio, visit the i Heeart Radio app, Apple podcast,

292
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 1: or wherever you listening to your favorite shows.