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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. You want

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Speaker 1: to research the doctor's certifications, lady, do your thorough research.

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Speaker 1: Don't just go to one person's page, like really, do

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Speaker 1: your research, make phone calls, schedule consultations, go and get

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Speaker 1: in the weeds with it right. And also if you

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Speaker 1: can hear testimonies from people who used that same doctor,

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Speaker 1: that will be helpful as well. Today's episode is sure

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Speaker 1: to provide you with motivation, inspiration, or a fresh perspective.

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Speaker 1: If you have any AHA moments or appreciate anything from

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Speaker 1: this episode, please leave us a review to let us

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Speaker 1: know we're on the right track. Also, we release episodes

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Speaker 1: every Friday, so be sure to subscribe on iTunes and

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Speaker 1: visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our exclusive after show

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Speaker 1: and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting.

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Speaker 1: Women like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your posts.

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Speaker 2: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 1: five rooids to fake friends, and create a safe space

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Speaker 1: where black women can just.

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Speaker 4: Be Our quote of the day. Self love is about

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Speaker 4: making choices that honor your body and mind. For me,

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Speaker 4: surgery was one of those choices. Now, Tea, this is

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Speaker 4: an anonymous quote that was put out there. However, I

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Speaker 4: would say that, and I won't speak for you, but

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Speaker 4: I would say that for me, like that quote resonates

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Speaker 4: and it makes sense that surgery was the decision that

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Speaker 4: I've made a couple of times in life, and for me,

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Speaker 4: it really was what in my view, an act of

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Speaker 4: self love, honoring what I needed to do, what I

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Speaker 4: believed was right from my body. What about for you?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, first let me just say I love the quote.

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Speaker 1: I think that with us having a platform with the

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Speaker 1: women that tune in in this world where we see

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Speaker 1: lots of box surgeries and we see a lot of

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Speaker 1: people who are going overboards, it feels a little like oof.

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Speaker 1: I feel a little apprehensive about the subject, but I

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Speaker 1: think it's also really important for us to talk about

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Speaker 1: and with my surgeries, I think yours were. I think

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Speaker 1: you had a different type of surgery than I did.

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Speaker 1: Dim As far as the category, I guess you could

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Speaker 1: call it that my surgeries were elective and cosmic, and

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Speaker 1: we'll dive into that in a little bit, Lady. But

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Speaker 1: while I love the quote, Lady, I want you to

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Speaker 1: listen until the end because Dom and I. Dom and

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Speaker 1: I have so much to share about this topic, and

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Speaker 1: I don't want this to get misconstrued or anyone to

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Speaker 1: think that we're saying to just go out and get

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Speaker 1: that two thousand dollars surgery.

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Speaker 3: That's probably not going to be the best option, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like everything I feel like within the context of this conversation,

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Speaker 1: yes to this quote. And then also I'm always like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I was our audience, How are the young women going

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Speaker 1: to take this? So, Lady, this is our These are

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Speaker 1: our experiences that we're going to share. Might I think

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Speaker 1: that surgery is such a personal decision, It's such an

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Speaker 1: intimate decision. It's often intrusive, right, because the're cutting you

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Speaker 1: open is often very intrusive. And I think that there

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Speaker 1: is significant preparation and decision making that goes into play,

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Speaker 1: or that should you know, go into play when you're

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Speaker 1: thinking about having any type of surgery. And so, lady

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Speaker 1: Our aim with this episode is to provide valuable insights

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Speaker 1: for you if you're considering surgery, whether it's a medical

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Speaker 1: necessity or it's an elective proceed We just want to

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Speaker 1: share our experiences with you and hopefully it'll be helpful

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Speaker 1: for you. So I answers the question.

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Speaker 4: Dom.

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Speaker 1: Also, I want to say, we have a juicy after show. Okay,

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Speaker 1: In the after show, we're going to talk about some

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Speaker 1: red flags to look for when it comes to a

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Speaker 1: surgeon or an aftercare nurse. We're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: some misconceptions or myths about surgery in general. We also

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Speaker 1: have a podcast episode with a black plastic surgeon from

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Speaker 1: Atlanta that we did years ago. To go check that

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Speaker 1: out as well. But Lady, let's jump into the decision

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Speaker 1: to undergo surgery.

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Speaker 4: Oh. So, the first thing that I do want to

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Speaker 4: point out is going back to what you said about

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Speaker 4: whether it's something that's elective or a medical necessity, and

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Speaker 4: also recognizing that most of us at some point in

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Speaker 4: light will undergo some type of surgery or significant medical procedure. Right,

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Speaker 4: the overall category that we're focused on is surgery. I

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Speaker 4: also want to note that some of these same talking

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Speaker 4: points that we will provide you. Some of these questions

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Speaker 4: that we will raise are applicable to any significant medical procedure,

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Speaker 4: like I think about having my wisdom teeth pull right, Yes, Oh,

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Speaker 4: I forgot about that one. Okay, right, So, and I

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Speaker 4: think that's the thing is that sometimes there are how

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Speaker 4: people perceive surgery can vary. Right, So technically having your

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Speaker 4: wisdom te pool and you're going under anesthesia like that

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Speaker 4: is a significant medical procedure that you are having performed, Okay.

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Speaker 4: And I don't I can't speak for other people, but

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Speaker 4: when I had my wisdom teed pooled one, I had

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Speaker 4: all four mindfuled at one time. That was my decision

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Speaker 4: because I was like, well, we're gonna do this, Let's

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Speaker 4: do this once and get them all done, right, get

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Speaker 4: it all done, get it all done. And recognizing that

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Speaker 4: because I was under anesthesia, I was not able to

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Speaker 4: drive myself home after the procedure, and so I needed

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Speaker 4: a system so that so something as seemingly benign as

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Speaker 4: having your wisdom people still requires some of these decision

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Speaker 4: points and questions that we're going to talk about today.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely I would agree with that, Dom spot On. I'm

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Speaker 1: so glad you mentioned that because I totally forgot. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I have more surgeries than I thought. So do you

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Speaker 1: want to talk about which surgery each of us are

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Speaker 1: going to talk about today as to sort of frame

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Speaker 1: the conversation and then should we jump into the decision

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Speaker 1: to undergo surgery and what prompted us to make the decision?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to go for it.

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Speaker 4: So, you know, oftentimes people do not like to talk

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Speaker 4: about gynecological issues. Now on this podcast, we have been

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Speaker 4: very upfront about talking about fibroids and bringing on gynecologists.

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Speaker 4: We terry, You've talked about giving birth right and so.

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Speaker 5: We we talked, we talked about STIs like we talk

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Speaker 5: about gynecological issues on this podcast because I think that

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Speaker 5: it's a conversation that is so important that people.

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Speaker 4: Tend to shy away from right. So I have been

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Speaker 4: very open with people in my life that I wanted

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Speaker 4: that I was going to undergo a hysterectomy and my

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Speaker 4: decision go ahead. Real question to say, what does that

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Speaker 4: mean for people who are not familiar? So a hystory

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Speaker 4: to me is when you have part or all of

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Speaker 4: your uterus removed, meaning then that you no longer are

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Speaker 4: able to have children, do.

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Speaker 3: You still have periods?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, Okay, I'm listening.

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Speaker 4: And so, but also with them that I also had

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Speaker 4: an umbilical hernia, meaning that I had a space a

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Speaker 4: gap right behind my belly button where my abs have

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Speaker 4: kind of split open, and so I had to get

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Speaker 4: that repaired as well. So I had both of those

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Speaker 4: procedures done at the same time. And then several years ago,

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Speaker 4: I also and let me be clear, I had the

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Speaker 4: hysterectomy because of the significant amount of fibroids that I

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Speaker 4: had in my verse. And then several years ago I

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Speaker 4: underwent a mile next to me to have fibroids removed.

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Speaker 4: Maya metomy when they do what most people would what

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Speaker 4: most people would call a C section in your abdomen

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Speaker 4: to remove cybroids. And so I've had those different procedures

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Speaker 4: and that's that would be my frame of reference as

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Speaker 4: we go through this discussion today.

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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to

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Speaker 1: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 1: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 1: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 1: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 1: about this.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 6: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 6: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 6: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 6: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 6: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 6: want you to imagine world where you're in the exclusive

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Speaker 6: Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout your day

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Speaker 6: and week, you are conversing with us about what's happening

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Speaker 6: in your life and sharing funny gifts and.

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Speaker 1: Or personal wins.

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Speaker 6: How does that sound?

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Speaker 1: Hopefully this is up your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 1: taking things to the next level of this year and

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Speaker 1: we're doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 3: That means you.

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Speaker 1: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 1: this community effort forward.

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Speaker 3: Visit her Space.

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Speaker 1: Podcast dot com and click Patreon. You can learn more

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Speaker 1: about our goals and exclusive offerings on Patreon, and we

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Speaker 1: highly highly encourage you to join the Sister Frontier so

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Speaker 1: Herspace podcast dot com and you can click that link

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Speaker 1: that says Patreon. All right, lady, we'll hop right back

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Speaker 1: into the conversation.

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Speaker 3: What about you? See?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I love that don so I will say, I

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Speaker 1: feel like, now that you've mentioned wisdom teeth, I've had

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Speaker 1: other surgeries. But the surgeries that we'll focus on for

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Speaker 1: the purpose of this conversation, one would be my so

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Speaker 1: years ago, I would say, maybe at this point six

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Speaker 1: or so years ago, I had a hair transplant and

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Speaker 1: so this is a very intense, intrusive surgery. But basically

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Speaker 1: for you, you know ever, since I was a teenager.

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Speaker 1: I used to have really cute edges. They were all

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Speaker 1: laid and nice little baby's hair, baby hairs. And then

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Speaker 1: I started doing my own hair on my own and

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Speaker 1: my sister would do my hair like almost every week,

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Speaker 1: and so my edges were just almost non existent, Like

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Speaker 1: my forehead was back a lot farther because I just

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Speaker 1: did not have any edges, and I was very insecure

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Speaker 1: with wearing different styles.

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Speaker 3: It just didn't look right.

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Speaker 1: And I was on stage a lot more because I

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Speaker 1: was in my speaking career in traveling, and so I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do something about my edges for so long,

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Speaker 1: and so I decided to get the hair transplant, where

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Speaker 1: they basically cut the back. I have an incision, I

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Speaker 1: guess horizontal incision in the back of my head. They

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Speaker 1: take some of the hair folecules they shaved in front

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Speaker 1: of my head and they placed them there. It was

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Speaker 1: very intense, but it was one of the best decisions ever.

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Speaker 1: So did that a couple of years ago. And then

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Speaker 1: I would say about a year or so ago, I

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Speaker 1: had a breast lift after fifteen months of breastfeeding. Oh Lord,

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Speaker 1: and then I had as well done. And then billiculhernia

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Speaker 1: repair because I too had hernia. So those are the

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Speaker 1: surgeries that I was talking about as far as this

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Speaker 1: conversation goes, and I want to dive into the decision.

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Speaker 1: The reason I did the hair transplant, I talked about

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Speaker 1: my insecurity and it was it was something that you know,

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Speaker 1: it's again it's a very personal decision, and I think

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Speaker 1: for me, there's always when it comes to especially a

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Speaker 1: cosmetic surgery, there's the fear of shame, judgment, the perception

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Speaker 1: of other people. But I clearly, I guess didn't struggle

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Speaker 1: with that because I did a whole YouTube series and

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Speaker 1: like was very graphic about my hair transplant because I

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Speaker 1: knew that other black women, especially had the same struggles.

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Speaker 1: And what I found out is that when I did

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Speaker 1: publish that video, it went up and a lot of

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Speaker 1: people tuned in and they emailed me about it. So

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Speaker 1: I shared my story as a way to just help

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Speaker 1: others and give them a resource and like, girl, have

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Speaker 1: you struggling with this?

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Speaker 3: I got you.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna share the experience what I went through post

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Speaker 1: off all that, So that really helped boost my confidence

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Speaker 1: and for something that I struggled with since I was

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Speaker 1: a teenager.

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Speaker 3: As far as the.

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Speaker 1: Breast, I pretty much always been pretty comfortable with my breast.

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Speaker 1: I had small breasts, and when I got pregnant, my

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Speaker 1: titties was big. I mean they were bigger than they

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Speaker 1: were big. I had some friends who had kids and

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Speaker 1: they were like, girl, my breast did not get that big.

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Speaker 1: My breast got so big, and I liked them. They

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Speaker 1: were juicy and they were big, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is what it's like to have some today's and

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Speaker 1: some cleavage.

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Speaker 3: I loved it. And then I breastfed my daughter for

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Speaker 3: fifteen months.

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Speaker 1: I did my service to society and the world and

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Speaker 1: my baby, which I'm so happy about. And I was

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Speaker 1: very insecure with how my breast looked after they were Lady.

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Speaker 1: This is no judgment to anyone who may be in

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Speaker 1: this space of life. This is just my unique journey.

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Speaker 1: But as you know, when you breastfeed for a long time,

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Speaker 1: sometimes they can become deflated. And so I didn't have

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Speaker 1: the cleavage anymore. They were just very I just didn't

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Speaker 1: like the way that I looked naked. I usually like

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Speaker 1: even t and I, but with sex, like I usually

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Speaker 1: am comfortable being naked, I felt like I wanted to

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Speaker 1: put my bra on and I didn't like that I

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Speaker 1: felt in my body, and so I decided to get

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Speaker 1: a breast lift and augmentation, and it was a really

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Speaker 1: great decision.

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Speaker 3: I grappled with the decision do I want to talk

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Speaker 3: about this?

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Speaker 1: Even when we talked about this conversation Dom, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: do I feel comfortable revealing.

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Speaker 3: This to the world.

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Speaker 1: You can probably see my pictures and you can tell like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she got some plump breast, so you can probably see.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to share because I think it's important

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Speaker 1: to talk about the you know, the process and how

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Speaker 1: we can make informed decisions. And so that was also

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Speaker 1: that also stemmed from an insecurity, But there are other

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Speaker 1: things I think that are important for us to talk

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Speaker 1: about as it relates to insecurities, because I don't think

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Speaker 1: that surgery is always the answer. So we'll talk through

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Speaker 1: how we got to our decisions. But yes, I think

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Speaker 1: that covers my decision making. Don what about your decision?

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Speaker 1: Because now I'm curious, as a woman, you've talked about

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Speaker 1: not wanting to have children, and so that's me. You

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Speaker 1: talked about that on the podcast, but I'm just so curious,

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Speaker 1: like what was that like for you as a woman

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Speaker 1: to make that decision of having a hysterectomy.

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Speaker 4: Well, for me it was I because I knew that

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to have children, and I knew also

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Speaker 4: that the five words would continue. So I could have

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Speaker 4: had an I could have had a second miyometamy and

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Speaker 4: had the five wordron moved a second time. But I

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Speaker 4: knew that they were going to come back, and so

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Speaker 4: for me, the question became, well do I want to

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Speaker 4: then undergo a third surgery or maybe a fourth surgery?

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Speaker 4: Knowing that I don't want to have children. For me,

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Speaker 4: it made sense in my life to have hysterectomy, and

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Speaker 4: so I think also it's a personal choice, right, Like

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Speaker 4: I remember when I had the first mayomectomy. You know,

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Speaker 4: hys directomy wasn't option then. It was not an option.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't options. Okay, it was, it was on the

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Speaker 4: table at that gush. But I also remember, even though

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Speaker 4: at that time I was clear that I didn't want children,

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Speaker 4: I was also in my mid thirties and I knew

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Speaker 4: that even though I didn't want children, there was still

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Speaker 4: a part of me that was not one hundred percent

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Speaker 4: certain that I wouldn't change my mind on wanting kids.

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Speaker 3: Okay, like.

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Speaker 4: About ninety to ninety five percent certain that I didn't

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Speaker 4: want kidds, right, And so I knew at that time

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Speaker 4: with the first procedure that if I was going to

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Speaker 4: have the hystericomy, I needed to be one hundred percent

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Speaker 4: certain that I was I didn't want children, that I

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Speaker 4: didn't want some birth children. And so this time around,

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Speaker 4: it was one hundred percent certain. Yeah, And when ahead

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Speaker 4: with that decision. What I'm also aware of though, is

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Speaker 4: that within the medical community and then just people in

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Speaker 4: life in general, everyone is going to have their opinions. Right,

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Speaker 4: So they're work folks who were saying, well, why have

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Speaker 4: a hysterectomy? You know you're this is a part your

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Speaker 4: uterus is a part of what makes you a woman,

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Speaker 4: And are you sure you want to pull that away? Well,

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Speaker 4: you are not living in Like to me, it's this

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Speaker 4: is my own body, and I know that like for

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Speaker 4: me also, my experience could have been a lot worse.

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Speaker 4: Like I knew of a lot of women who their

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Speaker 4: minist disciples are far more painful and inshins than mine.

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Speaker 4: Mine was right, But I also know that I was

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Speaker 4: taking a birth control kill that shelped to reduce a

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Speaker 4: lot of a lot of those symptoms, and so you know,

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Speaker 4: recognizing that this decision is for you, Like I also

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Speaker 4: had doctors that were saying, you're young, Thanks y'all, you're good,

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Speaker 4: and like the contradictory message of you're young, you're still young,

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Speaker 4: or hysterectomy, but if you were to get pregnant, you

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Speaker 4: it would be a geriatric pregnant come. Those contradictions to

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Speaker 4: me within the medical community are problematic conversation for another day,

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Speaker 4: But for me, I knew that this was the decision

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Speaker 4: that I needed to make for me. I'm also fully

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Speaker 4: aware that I am in a position of privilege to

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Speaker 4: make that decision in consultation with my doctors, and that

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Speaker 4: my doctors met, like we had extensive conversations before I

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Speaker 4: went through that procedure. And this kind of gets to

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Speaker 4: the piece about like our next point of the importance

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Speaker 4: of like making an informed decision. Bringing had extensive conversations

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Speaker 4: over the course of more than a year with my

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Speaker 4: doctors about making this particular decision because it is not

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Speaker 4: one that can be taken lightly. And we also know

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Speaker 4: this history of the medical community performing procedures, particularly hysterectomies

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Speaker 4: on Black women without their consent. Lord, So I also

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Speaker 4: had all of that sitting in my mind as I

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Speaker 4: was making that decision. I'm also aware that there are

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Speaker 4: lots of women who has to have a hysterecto me

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Speaker 4: and don't want to. Yeah, there are lots of women

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Speaker 4: who have a hysterectomy who have to agree not being

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Speaker 4: able to have children because it was something that they wanted.

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Speaker 4: That was not my experience, and so I do want

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Speaker 4: to acknowledge though, that that is the experience for a

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Speaker 4: lot of women.

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Speaker 1: Those are such great points that you made, Domin. As

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Speaker 1: we kind of transition into the importance of making an

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Speaker 1: informed decision, I just also want to emphasize that again

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Speaker 1: we're going to reemphasize that this is such a personal decision.

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Speaker 4: Lady.

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Speaker 1: If you are in a relationship with someone or in

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Speaker 1: communication with someone and they are encouraging you to get surgery,

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Speaker 1: or they're deterring you from getting a surgery that you

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Speaker 1: really want to get, you should really try to silence

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Speaker 1: the voice of others, because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: you have to live with this body, right. If you

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Speaker 1: have a partner that's equating your worth to a certain

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Speaker 1: type of feature where they're like, oh, you need to

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Speaker 1: get a bigger ass, or you need to get some cities. Girl,

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Speaker 1: you may need to step away from that relationship. This

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Speaker 1: is such a personal decision. It's up to you. Like

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Speaker 1: I know a young girl dom who was talking about

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Speaker 1: getting a breast augmentation and her mom was giving her

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Speaker 1: this all that, sending her all the negative articles, and

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Speaker 1: I was just like her, she's a grown woman, she's

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Speaker 1: twenty one.

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Speaker 3: But if she wants to do that, that's her decision,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: I think I opening the door and being curious is helpful,

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Speaker 1: but just really protect your piece and your energy. When

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Speaker 1: I made my decision to get my surgery, I talked

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Speaker 1: to a very small group of people. I had support

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Speaker 1: from my small community in my circle because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want none of that negativity in my life. And I

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Speaker 1: had the most beautiful experience. I did have an effecttion

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Speaker 1: with my belly button that was really scary and annoying,

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Speaker 1: but it turned out great.

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Speaker 3: But my experience overall was amazing, you know. And it

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Speaker 3: was because of.

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Speaker 1: The safe container that I store this experience and to

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Speaker 1: really protect your energy when you're making that decision. And

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Speaker 1: when it comes to the informed decision, dom we hear

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Speaker 1: a lot about people trying to get to go to

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Speaker 1: the cheap route and just get a cheap surgery because.

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Speaker 3: They want it. And you know, yours.

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Speaker 4: Said, it's so sad, you know, because I also onion

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Speaker 4: that I am in a position of privilege for sure, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that I have. As much as I complain about my

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Speaker 4: insurance provider, which shall remain nameless, yes, I am also

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Speaker 4: in a privileged position that I do have an insurance

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Speaker 4: provider that certain costs associated with these surgeries are taken

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Speaker 4: care of. That, you know, I do acknowledge that that

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Speaker 4: is a privilege. That there are a lot of folts

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Speaker 4: who are in serious medical debt. Medical debt is the

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Speaker 4: biggest debt that a lot of folks have in this country.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 4: And because I'm not tasting medical debt because of the

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Speaker 4: surgeries that I've had, and so I acknowledged that I'm

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Speaker 4: in a position of privilege and that there are a

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Speaker 4: lot of folts who need to have medical procedures done that.

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Speaker 3: They can't afford.

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Speaker 4: They can't afford it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, now that's a really good point.

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Speaker 1: Time I appreciate you sharing that, and I think that

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Speaker 1: you know, even with me, because they were cosmetic procedures,

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Speaker 1: I had to pay out of pocket, but it was

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Speaker 1: still a privilege to be able to choose.

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Speaker 3: The top doctor. You know. And when it comes to

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Speaker 3: the research, lady, let me tell you.

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Speaker 1: I was on YouTube looking at testimonials, watching other people's

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Speaker 1: recovery journeys, looking at the comments. You can join different

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Speaker 1: surgery groups as well, and I think one of the

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Speaker 1: other pieces of making an informed decision. This is going

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Speaker 1: to sound a bit counterintuitive, but I as I was

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Speaker 1: gearing up for the surgery, I began to really go

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Speaker 1: hard in the gym because I wanted to fall in

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Speaker 1: love with my body. I wanted to be the healthiest

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Speaker 1: person I could be, but I also wanted to get

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Speaker 1: my body to a place and get my mind and

439
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Speaker 1: mental to a place where I'm like, you know what,

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00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 1: I love myself. So I let's say I changed my mind.

441
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: I wanted to get the surgery. Like I remember looking

442
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,360
Speaker 1: in the mirror, like on a consistent basis, like why

443
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 1: my body looks so amazing? And I loved that body

444
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: for what it allowed me to do, how it served

445
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: me during my pregnancy how it served me with breastfeeding,

446
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 1: and I knew that I had this insecurity, and I

447
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 1: didn't see me getting my breast done as the ticket

448
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 1: to me just being happy with myself, you know, and

449
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 1: not being happy with myself, but solving all of my

450
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 1: insecurities and just being the you know, tickets are pure

451
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: bliss and happiness because what I realized is that there's

452
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 1: always going to be something go ahead out.

453
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 4: I got two questions as you're saying that, ok So

454
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 4: the first question because okay, first question, and fou did

455
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 4: working out aid in your recovery? Because that's something that

456
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,439
Speaker 4: I did with both of my surgeries leading off my surgeries, like,

457
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 4: I went hard and working out. So thou did working

458
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 4: out physically help you in your recovery?

459
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: Well, I would say one of the things I believe

460
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: my doctor said is at a certain point in the journey,

461
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: don't do any new like, don't do no new shit.

462
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: So don't start working out like right before surgery and

463
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 1: then fall off. How to be as consistent as possible.

464
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: So for me, I think working out was great for

465
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: my mental health. It made me feel strong, it made

466
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 1: me feel it just made me feel great. I also

467
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: worked on building up my core so that after the

468
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: umbilical hernee repair, I could just have a solid core

469
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: before the surgery, you know. So I think that it

470
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: just helped with my mental it helped with my physical strength.

471
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: It helped me during those tough days with recovery while

472
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 1: I was like, Lord, this is tough, Like I'm strong.

473
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:57,719
Speaker 3: I got this.

474
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: And it also gave me the push in the moment

475
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: to continue my workouts after because some people they'll go

476
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: get the BBL, they'll go get the surgeries right, and

477
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: then they weren't working out before, and so you don't

478
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: have a lifestyle change as far as your mindset. You're

479
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I hopped on the table, I'm slim now,

480
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: and then they ended up having to get surgery again

481
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: or they end up getting the weight back. So for me,

482
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: it was a matter of getting in the gym because

483
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: I wanted to have a healthy lifestyle in general, so

484
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: that when I recovered from my breastman and I took

485
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: a small break after I got my breast done, and

486
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: then I was back in the gym and I was

487
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: slow and I built up to back, you know, back

488
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: to where I was. But it just helped me get

489
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: back into that lifestyle of working out and being healthy.

490
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 3: What about for you, I.

491
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 4: Would say similarly, I think you know, with my first surgery,

492
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 4: I knew I had plenty of time. I had months

493
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 4: in advance to prepare. So again, leading up to that,

494
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 4: making that decision that decision is not made was not,

495
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 4: at least on my part, was not made lightly. And

496
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 4: so so I had months to physically prepare my body

497
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 4: for the surgery. And so I went hard in the

498
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 4: gym moths ahead of time, Yes, so that it would

499
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 4: so that my body would be ready, and my recovery

500
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 4: went so much smoother, right because I had been working

501
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 4: out and taking care of my physical body ahead of

502
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 4: tim For this most recent procedure, I'll be honest, I

503
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 4: had not been consistent with working out like I didn't.

504
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: I wasn't going as hard as I was for the

505
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 4: first surgery, but I had been working out in like

506
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 4: the month or so leading up to it, and at

507
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 4: the time I didn't have a date set. But in

508
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 4: the month or so leading up to it, I had

509
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 4: made the decision that I was going to get more

510
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 4: consistent with working out, and things work out how they're

511
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 4: supposed to suit, and so when I was notified about

512
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 4: the date of the procedure. By that point, it had

513
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 4: been at least a month since I had been consistently

514
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 4: building up my workout routine, and so that sheltered so

515
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 4: much in the recovery process. And you know, I'm still

516
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 4: recovering because it takes your body after procedures like that,

517
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 4: it's not you know, they say, okay, you can return

518
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 4: to work after four to six weeks, but like your

519
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 4: body can't go back to immediately, go back to what

520
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 4: you were right before the surgery, what you were doing

521
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 4: right before the surgery. So I'm stealing that. Technically, I'm

522
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 4: stealing that recovery phase because I'm slowly building back up

523
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 4: to where I was. But I think my recovery would

524
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 4: have been both in both instances would have been so

525
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 4: different had I not been working out. And then also

526
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 4: for me with the umbilical journeia, when I'm also doing

527
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 4: physical therapy, that's part of the recovery and so to

528
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 4: help build the core, my core back up. And so

529
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 4: because to those who aren't aware, like umbilical herney, a

530
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 4: lot of times it's your core is an issue with

531
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 4: your core, and so it's helping to I'm in physical

532
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 4: therapy to help with that. The second question that I

533
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: had in terms of your decision making, did you consider therapy?

534
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 4: Did you do therapy or anything like that as you

535
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 4: were preparing for these procedures?

536
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 3: Good question I did.

537
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: I did talk about these things in therapy, and I

538
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 1: think it kind of it makes me go back to

539
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: the quote of I forgot that, I forgot the own

540
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: what's the prayer? That prayer y'all the serenity to accept

541
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 1: the things? So I thought about, Okay, is this something

542
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: that I had to have real conversations with myself, like

543
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: is this something that I'm willing to accept and embrace

544
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: and just this is this is a part of who

545
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: I am, this is the new me and accept it.

546
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: And I feel like when I asked myself that question,

547
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: it was something that I wasn't I didn't want to

548
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: I didn't want to just accept it. I wanted to

549
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: do something about it. And in fairness, I will say

550
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: there are other parts of my body and parts of

551
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: myself that I've had insecurities about from when I was

552
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: younger that I've come to peace with and I'm you know,

553
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: I've had the closure and I'm like, maybe we're going

554
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: to accept this, like we're gonna we're gonna keep this,

555
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: we're gonna love on it, and we're going to you know,

556
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: have our own like internal marketing campaign and we'll talk

557
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: about what that looks like later, lady, and we're gonna

558
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: just love this part of myself. But that was one thing,

559
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: and I think the thing about it too don for

560
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: me was that I wasn't born that way, and so

561
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: because I had made this big sacrifice, right, you know

562
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: what your body goes through as a mom, Yes, we

563
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: do it as my mouth, but as a sacrifice in

564
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: the breastfeeding journey, I was like, you know what, I

565
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: feel like I deserve this, Like I deserve to be

566
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: able to feel happier in my body because I was

567
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: pretty happy with my body before pregnancy and now that

568
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: it's changed so much, I wanted to do that for myself.

569
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: But again it's my personal decision. There are some women

570
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: who are like, you know what, I'm going to accept

571
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: this new post mommy body or this post pregnancy body

572
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: and it is what it is, and that's okay too, right, Yeah,

573
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: So I think that's a great question. Dom One other

574
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 1: thing I wanted to add to this part of the

575
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 1: conversation is you want to research the doctor's certifications, Lady,

576
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: do your thorough research. Don't just go to one person's page, Like,

577
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,239
Speaker 1: really do your research, make phone calls, schedule consultations, go

578
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: and get in the weeds with it, right. And also

579
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: if you can hear testimonials from people who have used

580
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: that same doctor.

581
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: That will be helpful as well. And the other thing

582
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 3: Doom is like trust your intuition.

583
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: Because I was looking for we'll talk about this as

584
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: we talk about preparing for surgery in a bit, but

585
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: I remember looking for an aftercare nurse because I wanted

586
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,479
Speaker 1: to because I have a little one and I had

587
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: stopped breastfeeding. I wanted to make sure that my husband

588
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: and my daughter could keep their singing routine and I

589
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 1: had support where they wouldn't have to update their schedule

590
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to take her out of school

591
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: and you know, disrupt the routine. So I was looking

592
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: for an aftercare nurse, and girl, there was this facility

593
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: that had amazing reviews.

594
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 3: But I called. I don't know if I told you

595
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: this time.

596
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: I called the place up and I was calling to

597
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: just ask simple questions and the lady on the phone

598
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: had a poky asked attitude, and in that moment, I

599
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 1: was like, damn, I was so pissed because I said,

600
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: I want to give y' all my money. I thought,

601
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to take care of me, but girl, I

602
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: couldn't do it because my gut was like it was

603
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: so bad to think that. When I called, she was

604
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: so stinking nasty. I don't really write bad reviews. I

605
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: actually emailed them and said, hey, I wanted to let

606
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: you know I was ready to give y'all my thousands

607
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: of dollars for this aftercare package.

608
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 3: And this person answered the phone and gave a tear.

609
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: It was a terrible experience, and so they ended up

610
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: emailing me back that I was like, I can't work

611
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: with them now because my wife. It didn't sit right

612
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: in my spirit to work with someone like that. So lady,

613
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: go with your gut, trust your intuition. It's really important.

614
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 4: Yes, I wholeheartedly agree with that. I would say, you know,

615
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 4: for me personally, I have always been an advocate of

616
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 4: my gynecologists needs to be a black woman, and that's

617
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 4: why I and I drive to make sure I drive

618
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 4: a distance to because they don't have one in my area.

619
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 4: I make that drive to make sure that I have

620
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 4: the doctors that I want. And when it came to

621
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 4: having this most recent procedure, I made sure like, Okay, oh,

622
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 4: you're not available on that day, but you're gonna give

623
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 4: me someone else nonsense, And we're gonna make the date

624
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 4: work where you're available because I want you your life. Trust. Oh,

625
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 4: schedule is gonna work to fit you now, but to

626
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 4: be expe Okay, I don't trust just anybody. And if

627
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 4: we built this relationship and I trust you, then you're

628
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 4: going to be the one to prepare this procedure. Yeah,

629
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,839
Speaker 4: since we need you on the clock, Ye, go take

630
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 4: care of me grandmaalthy doc, come on. That's a really

631
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 4: good point, Dom And I love that you had the

632
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 4: ability to do that, because you want to be comfortable

633
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 4: with the person who's going to be operating on your

634
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 4: body as well, you know.

635
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: And so I think about my doctor who was so

636
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 1: amazing we had. It was a white doctor, but he

637
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: is like the main he is like specializes in natural

638
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 1: breast augmentations and lips, and so he I had several

639
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 1: consultations with other people. I had a consultation down with

640
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: a doctor that was literally right up the street from

641
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: my house. I could have had the surgery like super

642
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: close to home, but I just it wasn't the vibe,

643
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: you know, it just it wasn't vibe, and the vibe

644
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: wasn't vibing. So when it comes to preparing for the surgery,

645
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: we kind of talked about the financial aspect. I don't

646
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: think there's much else to cover there, don unless you

647
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: have something else.

648
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 4: What I would say is deaf and like, and just

649
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 4: make sure that you are aware of the costs going

650
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 4: into it. That so if your insurance is not going

651
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 4: to cover the procedure. So like I remember going back

652
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 4: to my wisdom teeth, my insurance at the time, and

653
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 4: I was in graduate school when this happened, So my

654
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 4: insurance is probably shit because I remember having to come

655
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 4: out of pocket with more than I anticipated to cover

656
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 4: the cost of my wisdom teeth removed. Right, you don't

657
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 4: want to get hit with surprises, So be aware of

658
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:45,240
Speaker 4: what the costs are and if that means that if

659
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 4: you are able to because I think the thing also

660
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 4: when you're decision making is is this a procedure, how

661
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 4: urgent or tring sensitive? Is this procedure. If it's something

662
00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 4: that is not following immediate harm or danger to you,

663
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 4: you chan this weight right, so that if it's if

664
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 4: you've got to pay for it out of pocket, chan

665
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 4: you budget. Does your job offer a flex spending or

666
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 4: health saving the count YEP so that you can cover costs.

667
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 4: This would be your pretext earnings and and so talking

668
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 4: to you know, depending on the job situation you have,

669
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 4: talking to your HR because if you're having to take lean,

670
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 4: what does that really look like in terms of time

671
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 4: off thing work. Yes, talking to your insurance provider to

672
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 4: figure out what exactly is this going to cost you?

673
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 4: What are the what are your out of pocket expenses,

674
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 4: what are the potential unforeseen expenses that may come up

675
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 4: along the way. You want to be thorough in your planning. Yes,

676
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 4: And if this is something that is a medical emergency

677
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 4: and immediate necessity, don't put it off because of costs.

678
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 4: Talk with the hospital, talk with your doctor, talk with

679
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 4: your insurance about what are talk with social services in

680
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 4: your area about what are potential options to cover these costs.

681
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: For a men to that that's all good. Thank you

682
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: for adding that down. That's super super important. It also

683
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: makes me think about medications aftercare. Oh my gosh, my

684
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: aftercare that week of aftercare because I didn't went to

685
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: LA that week of aftercare was it was a little pricey,

686
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: but it was something I was aware of, you know,

687
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: beforehand medication. If you're getting like post op massages right

688
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: that are typically recommended for certain procedures, you think about

689
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: post out massages, You think about physical therapy, all things.

690
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: So just come in, take a look at everything from

691
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: a high level. Don't rush it. There's no rush at all,

692
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: and you can do a lot of preparation in the

693
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: midst of you gearing up for the journey. And speaking

694
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 1: of preparation, we'll talk a bit about preparing for the surgery.

695
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: So my doctor was very, very organized when it came

696
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: to the preapp instructures in Babay. When I tell you,

697
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,959
Speaker 1: I follow everything to the t, all the medications. He's

698
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: also like a he tends to sort of err on

699
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: the side of I want to say homeopathic remedies versus

700
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 1: using Western medicine. So CBD oil he recommended. He recommended

701
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: amazing other products that help with you know, healing. I

702
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 1: literally have an assign a project where I put down

703
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: when I need to take all the medication, what I

704
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 1: need to be doing. I think it was like six

705
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: weeks before the surgery and after, so all that stuff,

706
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: write it down, share it with someone who's going to

707
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,320
Speaker 1: be taking care of you. All that good stuff. But

708
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 1: the other thing I'm going to talk about, too, dom

709
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: is the mental work. I think there's a lot of

710
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: mental work that should be talked about.

711
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 3: More when it comes to stuth surgery.

712
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: We talked about manifestation, We've talked about visualization on the podcast.

713
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: I did all of that for the surgery, manifested. I remember,

714
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: like literally the week before, it was so intense. Every

715
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: night before bed, I would visualize my desired outcome. I

716
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: would manifest, I would pray, I would ask the ancestors

717
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: and my guides in spirit to be with me and

718
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: you know, make sure everything worked out well. I wanted

719
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: to make sure I was healthy and okay to come

720
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: back home to my little one and my family. So

721
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: that was all important. But I also talked about earlier

722
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: that I'm a marketing campaign or like mirror work, and

723
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 1: for me, what that meant was as counterintuitive as a sound.

724
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: As you're like gearing up to change your body, you're

725
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 1: falling in love with the current body. It was important

726
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 1: for me to love my body even more in the

727
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 1: state that it was in. I just thought that it

728
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: was the healthiest thing I could do for myself. But

729
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: also setting realistic expectations. Typically when you have surgery, it's

730
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: not going to be perfect, right, It's not. It's science, right,

731
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: it's not going to be this perfect experience. Yes, you

732
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: may like your body. But for instance, All gave an example.

733
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 1: I have always had one bracelets bigger than the other.

734
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: And I know that that's the case for many women,

735
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: but mine was like pretty significant, Like you could literally

736
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 1: look and I could always tell.

737
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 3: I felt like one was a cup size bigger.

738
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: After surgery, I felt like God was kind of like

739
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: testing me because I looked in the mirror and I

740
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 1: was like, how is one How how is one still

741
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: bigger than the other? How is one still bigger than

742
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: the other? I just it was so mind boggling. So

743
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I thought that they would even it

744
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: out with the you know, the ccs they put it in,

745
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: but no, So I kind of laughed about it. And

746
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: that's one thing that I'm like, Okay, I'm embracing my

747
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say lopsided, but I'm embracing the size of

748
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: how our breasts are, and I one is still bigger

749
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 1: than the other. I'm embracing that even after the fact.

750
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to obsess over it and try to

751
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: make it perfect. You know, in ten years, when I

752
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 1: go to get them redone, maybe I'll see if they

753
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 1: can make that one that's smaller a little bit, you know,

754
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: more in line with the other one. But I'm not

755
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: going to go back under just because it's not perfect.

756
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: So for me, it's like setting realistic expectations and embracing

757
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:01,919
Speaker 1: the things that are imperfect. I have a scar down

758
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: the line of my breast because I needed to have

759
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: a lift as well because my breast my nipple kind

760
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: of like shifted, I guess with breastfeeding and the positioning

761
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: of it. And so before the surgery, I drew a

762
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: line down my natural breast with my eyeline, my brand eyeliner,

763
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 1: to like visualize, Okay, this is what it's going to

764
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: look like after am I okay with that? How do

765
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: I feel about it? And embracing that. So I think

766
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,919
Speaker 1: sometimes surgery can present new insecurities for you and new

767
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 1: things that you have to cope with and just being

768
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: aware of that and doing the mental work in the mirror,

769
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 1: looking at your body, loving your body. And that's what

770
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: I say by marketing campaign, we are so oftentimes we are.

771
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 1: We have these images of certain body types projected onto

772
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 1: us all the time, whether you want to or not.

773
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 3: And so it may you know, you may be on social.

774
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:51,320
Speaker 1: Media and you may be like, damn, I feel like

775
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 1: I need to bbl because I see everyone else with

776
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: these small ass waste in these big old hips and booties,

777
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: and maybe we're it's ministering to our spirits and so

778
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 1: that's what you think you need when in our in

779
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: all actuality, that's a marketing campaign.

780
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 3: We've been, we've been.

781
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: These BBOs have been marketed to us, and not to

782
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 1: judge late that if you've decided to get one, but

783
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: that body type has been marketed to us constantly. That

784
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 1: I think we need to do a reverse marketing campaign

785
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: with ourselves. So taking pictures of yourself, looking at yourself

786
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: in the mirror and loving your unique body.

787
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 4: I think that that's a very valid point, is like

788
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 4: loving your unique body and how it is showing up

789
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 4: for you. And I do have a found up question.

790
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 4: So what did you what was the mirror work that

791
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 4: you did when you had your hair transport?

792
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: To be honest on that was so I feel like

793
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 1: I'd had to really think about that to see because

794
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: it was so long. It was I think six or

795
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 1: maybe five to seven years ago. I'd have to think

796
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 1: about it. But yeah, I can't even I can't even

797
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: call it. Maybe in the after show to pop up,

798
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: but I can't even think of it. I honestly, I

799
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: don't even know if that was language that I was

800
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 1: using back then. I don't even know that could Yeah,

801
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: that could have been a new thing for me as

802
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: I've learned and evolved and grown and gotten to this

803
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: place of my journey. I don't even know that was

804
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 1: something that was on my radar back then, but I

805
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: still would have gotten that.

806
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the thing. Yes, that's the thing that I

807
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 4: wanted to acknowledge. Is that, lady, as you're listening, because

808
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 4: we've pointed it out now, it's on your radar, right,

809
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 4: But there's always rent for learning and growth, and so

810
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 4: there may be something that you think about after your procedure,

811
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 4: right that you realize, oh, this would have been helpful

812
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 4: had I did this. Were there may be things that

813
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 4: you've done that to help you in preparation that you

814
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 4: aren't even aware was actually like you were just doing

815
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 4: it right and you weren't even aware of how helpful

816
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 4: and beneficial it actually it actually was.

817
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 1: That's a good point. I will say you you brought

818
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: this up before when I had my unmedicated natural home birth,

819
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: Right the same process I went to I went through

820
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 1: preparing for my birth is what I went through preparing

821
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 1: for my surgery as well. So that's saying like manifestation, visualization,

822
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: keeping a tight circle, and keeping my energy in a

823
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: certain space. Those were all the things I did, following instructions,

824
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 1: breath to work, all that stuff is what I did

825
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: to prepare for that as well.

826
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 3: So anything else that.

827
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 1: We should cover about prepping for surgery, or should we

828
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 1: talk about our support systems and recovery.

829
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 4: The other thing that I would say is, you know,

830
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 4: I just can't emphasize enough what you pointed out earlier

831
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 4: about the pre apple appointment with your provider and being

832
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 4: fully aware of all the things that you need to

833
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:55,439
Speaker 4: do and doing them yes, because you're and not being

834
00:45:55,480 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 4: afraid to ask questions. Yes, for my pre apple appointment,

835
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 4: I had questions in my phone. I had a note

836
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 4: in my phone there you will a bunch of questions

837
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 4: that I wanted to ask. I talked with other folks

838
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 4: who had had similar had had hysterectomines before, and so

839
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 4: we had a list of questions to ask. And even

840
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 4: it as she's answering those questions, more questions came up.

841
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 4: And I can't emphasize enough that no question is too

842
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 4: silly to ask, right.

843
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 3: Yes, when it comes to your health and your body.

844
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 4: No question is too silly or too personal because at

845
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 4: this point, if you are letting them operate on your body,

846
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 4: then you need to ask all the questions and they

847
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 4: need to be able to answer them right. Like, my

848
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 4: doctor and I had a conversation about food and I

849
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 4: got specific because I'm like, well, if I'm gonna be

850
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 4: sitting here and I have I'm gonna have other people

851
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 4: preparing food for me. I know myself and know that

852
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 4: that I'm gonna want to If I'm gonna eat, it

853
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 4: needs to be something that I'm going to enjoy. Yeah,

854
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 4: so you're telling me that there's gonna be certain restrictions, Well,

855
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 4: let's get real specific on these restrictions because we need

856
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 4: to know, let me know complete real eat I like

857
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 4: to eat. Okay, those are good time. I think that that.

858
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 4: I think that's good for preparation.

859
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 1: I think we've covered a lot of good stuff there

860
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 1: as far as the support systems and recovery plan. I

861
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: feel like we covered a little bit of this before too.

862
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: It's like protecting your circle, making sure that you have

863
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: the support, whether it's a paid support system or you

864
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: have friends and family that are going to see that

865
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: are going to be supporting and suing that everyone knows

866
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: their role, and like communicating how you want to be

867
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:46,720
Speaker 1: supported as well.

868
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 3: I think that's also really helpful.

869
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: Don We were at communication when I was, you know,

870
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: in my recovery, and you were super supportive with that.

871
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: And I had some friends like mailby packages, I had

872
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 1: other friends that you know, were just checking up on me.

873
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: And so yeah, just knowing everyone's.

874
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 4: Role, I think that is key, right, is no knowing

875
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:14,959
Speaker 4: everyone's role and not just you knowing everyone's role, them

876
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 4: knowing their role as well. Right, so you know, for

877
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 4: me why each of my procedures, I had a different

878
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 4: sister that was there at the hospital with me, and

879
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 4: they knew like okay, so it's X, Y, and Z happens,

880
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 4: this is what you need to This is what you

881
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 4: need to do right, particularly when I'm going to be

882
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 4: under in a seizon. I can't answer. I can't speak

883
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: for myself, can't advocate for myself right, Like, and are

884
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:54,439
Speaker 4: you comfortable having the conversation with the doctor to make

885
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 4: these decisions because it's going to be difficult in the moment. Yeah,

886
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 4: but I need to know that you can do this right.

887
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 4: And certain certain insurance companies, certain healthcare providers have what

888
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 4: they would call like a personal action plan or you know,

889
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 4: and different different folks may label it differently, but essentially,

890
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 4: if something were to happen to you while you're in surgery,

891
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 4: what's the plan? Mm hmm do you have to do?

892
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 4: Not resuscitate?

893
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: Order?

894
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 2: Like?

895
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 4: What fool is in charge of making the life literally

896
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 4: life or death decisions for you? Yeah? That is so

897
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,439
Speaker 4: important to make sure that you do. You take care

898
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 4: of those things prior to going into your procedure, and

899
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 4: also making sure that the person who is assigned to

900
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 4: that is comfortable and knows exactly what it is that

901
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 4: you want and they're able to follow through with that.

902
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 4: I think the other piece of that is also identicifying,

903
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 4: you know, outside of that once you're like, once you're

904
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 4: home and in recovery, pulls showing up for you and

905
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:19,800
Speaker 4: when and what's the role right and are they able

906
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 4: to enforce what needs to be enforced right. So one

907
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 4: of the things that I kind of struggled with this

908
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 4: second time around. I'm kind of foggy on how it

909
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,359
Speaker 4: was the first time around, but this second time around,

910
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 4: one of the things that I know I struggled with

911
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 4: was literally, and I mentioned as at the top of

912
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 4: the episode, was sitting my arms down, like because folks

913
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 4: were coming to stay with me to take care of me.

914
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,280
Speaker 4: I'm used to if someone's in my house, I'm hosting,

915
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 4: so I'm getting up and doing the things to take

916
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 4: care of them. And I'm used to taking care of

917
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 4: other people. So having to do the mental work as

918
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 4: well of saying go once, sit your hands down to

919
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 4: let them take care of you.

920
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 3: Yes, And.

921
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 4: For a lot of us, that is hard when you

922
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 4: are used to doing it for yourself or being the

923
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 4: person who does it for everybody, like you're the person

924
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 4: who does it in your household sitting back and letting

925
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 4: folks show up for you and take care of you

926
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 4: is difficult and that takes some mental work, absolutely, but

927
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 4: it's necessary in order for you to recover it.

928
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 1: Yep, that is so true. We have that in common

929
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: for shore Down, like many black women. I'm sure like

930
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 1: we were the you know, the caretakers, and we're doing

931
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: so much. I think you hit the nail on the

932
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 1: head with the support systems and recovery planning.

933
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 3: Lady.

934
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: Another thing to keep in mind is like pain management,

935
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 1: you know, making sure you have all prescriptions filled and

936
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 1: all that good stuff and everything, you know, notes jotted

937
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 1: down on when you need to take which medications because

938
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 1: I know for our and Bill coulhernia repair, I believe

939
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 1: some of the medications they have you take for surgery

940
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 1: cause constipation. So you want to make sure you have

941
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 1: everything that you need because that's a whole other Lord.

942
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 1: I was so happy when I Yeah, I was so

943
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: happy when I finally hooped, but then I was like,

944
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 1: this is a little uncomfortable. So just making sure you

945
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: have what you need for that, making sure you have

946
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 1: your FOP appointments.

947
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 4: Yes, shout out to my friends and family. We'll have

948
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 4: to hear about it. I think that.

949
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 7: Was real and I appreciate my friends, and I think, Terry,

950
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 7: what's time, my text you and I will I remember saying, like, TMI,

951
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 7: but may.

952
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 3: Tell me about that.

953
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 1: Shit you just said, girl, I'm going to But even

954
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: with pregnancy go, I think about the pregnancy constanpation in

955
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: general was just terrible. It's just awful. To make sure

956
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: you have all the medications you need. Lady, eat healthy

957
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: too if you can, like prior to and after, and

958
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: then make sure you have your follow up appointments on

959
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: the calendar. Yeah, and you're checking in with that because

960
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: I did run into an issue that was a little

961
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 1: scary or my belly button had some type of infection,

962
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 1: and so as soon as I realized that, I text

963
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 1: my nurse and she was like, that's concerning to me,

964
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: as I said, oh, okay, shit, So I called the doctor.

965
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: They were so responsive, they were texting me asking for pictures,

966
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: and so I filed the appropriate steps and they were

967
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: able to prescribe medication to help me get it back

968
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: on track. And so it's healed now. But it took

969
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 1: a little bit of time, and so I was just

970
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 1: going it and it was a little stressful, but it's

971
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 1: part of the process following up and knowing who you

972
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 1: need to reach out to in case of emergency or

973
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: in case you do have any side effects or issues.

974
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, you know, doing the work that's necessary, like

975
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 4: having surgery. Undergoing any type of medical procedure is not

976
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 4: to be taken lightly, and so I think taking all

977
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 4: of the necessary precautions free surgery, drying surgery after surgery

978
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 4: will help make things go as smoothly as possible.

979
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 3: Two quick questions before we jump into the live show.

980
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 1: Lady, we're going to dive into We're going to jump

981
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: into the live show, so head over to Herspace podcast

982
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: dot com click on patron. We're going to talk about

983
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,879
Speaker 1: red flags to look for when it comes to your

984
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: surgeon or your nurse or aftercare support system. We'll also

985
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 1: talk about some misconceptions and some other questions that you

986
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 1: may want to know. I want to ask you, Dom

987
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:57,280
Speaker 1: if you would do it all over again. Yes, okay,

988
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 1: I would as well. I would definitely do it again.

989
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: I will say, Lady, surgery does not change you. So

990
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: a lot of times people think, oh I got this

991
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: new fill in the blank, Now I'm going to be happier.

992
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 3: Now, there's all I feel like.

993
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,800
Speaker 1: In my opinion, there's always going to be insecurities that

994
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: we're working through as humans because we're always ever changing.

995
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: It doesn't solve you, it's only the physical. We really

996
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 1: need to be working on our internal in addition to

997
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: whatever we do on the physical. So we're going to

998
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 1: happ into the after show. Lady, Thank you for tuning

999
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:27,919
Speaker 1: in and we'll talk to you soon.

1000
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 2: Hey, lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

1001
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:36,359
Speaker 2: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

1002
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:41,799
Speaker 2: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

1003
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,840
Speaker 2: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

1004
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 2: That's d R D O M I N I q

1005
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 2: U E B R O U S S A ar

1006
00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 2: D dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation.

1007
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 2: I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining

1008
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 2: us today. Please note that our show may contain conversations

1009
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 2: about self help, advice, self empowerment, and mental health, but

1010
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: is by no means meant to be a substitute for

1011
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 2: an ongoing formal relationship with a trained mental health provider.

1012
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 2: If you are someone you know is in need of

1013
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 2: mental health care, please visit a Therapy for Black Girls

1014
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:37,240
Speaker 2: Directory Psychology Today, or contact your insurance provider.

1015
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

1016
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 1: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot

1017
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: com and be sure to click the Patreon tab to

1018
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 1: get access to video content bonuses in our weekly after

1019
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: show and Before We Meet Again, repeat after Me. Every

1020
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 1: dream within me exists because it's possible.