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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many years. So many episode, motherfucking many years. So yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: there it is. There is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to

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Speaker 1: another phenomenal mini episode of My Mama Told Me, the

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Speaker 1: podcast where we dive deep into the backet, pocket hockey,

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Speaker 1: pockets of black conspiracy. I'm trying my it's the motherfucking remix.

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Speaker 1: I get nervous when we started. No, it's okay, and

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Speaker 1: we finally worked to prove the conspiracies that you the

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Speaker 1: listener have at home. This is a very high pressure situation.

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Speaker 1: This is it's like when you come out of the

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Speaker 1: out of the fucking back in your warmups, like you

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Speaker 1: were screaming and ship yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's it's like

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Speaker 1: coming out of the tunnel. Yeah, and you're like, I

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Speaker 1: think I know how to play basketball, but I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I know how to play it like this

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Speaker 1: And you see one person with a sign that says

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Speaker 1: like langs and sucks and you get in your head. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, fuck you Lanks, and it's like whoa

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Speaker 1: specific can do that? Yeah, I'm the I'm I'm the

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Speaker 1: third point guard. Yeah, why do you hate me? So?

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Speaker 1: Not the face of this team. That's how it feels.

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Speaker 1: We we we soldier on. Yeah, and and listen, we

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Speaker 1: have to soldier on because we were dealing with with

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Speaker 1: the conspiracies of our listeners and today specifically, we got

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Speaker 1: an email from a person named Marcus Wait before though,

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Speaker 1: as par Olivia, I just do say, I was in

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Speaker 1: the streets shout out to my friend ray Sean. She's

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Speaker 1: just black, but she has biracial siblings and her biracial

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Speaker 1: siblings from her black father, all with different white mothers.

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Speaker 1: I believe all that ass damn she said, every one

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Speaker 1: of them that just got as damn so. So the

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Speaker 1: theory remains. The theory remains that black fathers give up

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Speaker 1: that That's not the best way to say it, black

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Speaker 1: fathers giving up that ass call me now, I don't

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Speaker 1: know why that's a commercial. It was Cleo Cleo's in

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Speaker 1: it for some reason. She called it out for your

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Speaker 1: free my father give it to you, give you a

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Speaker 1: big dunk dunk. I don't know. She didn't either. She

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Speaker 1: wasn't really Jamaican and she was from Baltimore. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was just a regular as black lady being real offensive

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Speaker 1: in a sweet spot in the in the nineties where

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Speaker 1: you didn't have to worry about nothing. No, it was

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Speaker 1: the one nine hundred number. You didn't think they were

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Speaker 1: really that race. Now, yeah, you knew exactly what Miss

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Speaker 1: Cleo was and if you pretend otherwise, you knew she

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Speaker 1: was not Jamakan. And you know they weren't hot and

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Speaker 1: horny girls. Those were lonely single mothers on the other

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Speaker 1: side of that call, which is which they could have

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Speaker 1: advertised as such. I just would have dialed in. There's

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Speaker 1: a bunch of people who would have still called. But

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Speaker 1: we can't. Okay, our our conspiracy are rather our email

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Speaker 1: comes from a person named Marcus. Marcus sent us a

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Speaker 1: very aggressive email top to bottom, I would say, very aggressive,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's the subject is Magic's Killer Johnson, Magic

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Speaker 1: Killer Johnson. He says, Hey, Lenston and David, I know

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Speaker 1: you saw my previous emails. Nigga, don't play with me,

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Speaker 1: and then he just goes into the next thing. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't like emails. I don't know this nigga. Marcus apparently

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Speaker 1: has been trying to contact us endlessly and uh and

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Speaker 1: we just haven't paid him any attention. But he says,

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Speaker 1: so I watched an HBO show from the A D

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Speaker 1: from the E D show Light Showtime Lakers, And it

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Speaker 1: reminded me about a conspiracy theory I heard from my

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Speaker 1: wild ass uncle. My momma's told me. Magic Johnson didn't

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Speaker 1: retire because he contracted HIV. The NBA forced him to

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Speaker 1: retire because his legendarily large Johnson killed a few women

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Speaker 1: and they got tired of covering up the killings. Not no, See,

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Speaker 1: that's why we didn't listen to your other email, Marcus.

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Speaker 1: That stupid ship to say, have you been on the internet?

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Speaker 1: If girls could die from huge pipes, Giana Michaels would

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Speaker 1: have passed no to like, what are you talking about

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Speaker 1: Jana Fire? Do you think she would still be alive?

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Speaker 1: Magic Johnson is splitting women in half just up the

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Speaker 1: middle with his giant pinness, and the NBA is so

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Speaker 1: tired of these dead women that they forced him to

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Speaker 1: retire from this sport. We gotta cover up all these

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Speaker 1: dead women. Man, think you're killing us and you're killing

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Speaker 1: these bitches last time you went to last time you

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Speaker 1: played the Timberwolves, half of Minnesota was dead dead Magic.

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Speaker 1: We're losing bus drivers, pta presidents, cooks. It's indiscriminate. No,

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Speaker 1: this is insane. No woman got dicked down to death.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say no woman, obviously, I think someone

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I think there's been a few

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Speaker 1: women that got dicked down to death. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's that. I don't think it's common enough.

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Speaker 1: He also played in a basketball game that night. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I think the issue is I don't think

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Speaker 1: that it's in the throes of passion that they're dick

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Speaker 1: down to death. I think it's a man committing tremendous

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Speaker 1: violence like against them that they're dick down to death.

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Speaker 1: I don't think somebody's saying existing heart condition. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't think. Yeah, right, it's not somebody. But I'm saying

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Speaker 1: it's not somebody just like having a great time time

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Speaker 1: and then suddenly they just like die from giant penis.

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Speaker 1: I think it's no. No, things are going awry from

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Speaker 1: the beginning. Yeah, if somebody died with a dick and him,

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Speaker 1: you gotta look at it's like the first you gotta

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Speaker 1: look at everything that happened in the three hours proceeding,

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Speaker 1: and that's that they'll teach you that day one in

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Speaker 1: Detective school. Yeah, you gotta love that case in forty

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Speaker 1: eight hours, otherwise it gets hard. It's like that dick

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Speaker 1: that killed her. No, man, Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Do you think he killed so many? And also the

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Speaker 1: NBA could not cover that if Magic Johnson killed a

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Speaker 1: woman with his penis, it would get out, it would

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Speaker 1: get immediately. I think that that if nothing else, all

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Speaker 1: all the homophobic men who were so uh sort of

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Speaker 1: thrown off by Magic Johnson's HIV diagnosis because they were

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Speaker 1: calling it a gay disease back blah blah blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: this is more more than enough evidence for them to

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Speaker 1: bring it up, being like, this is proof that that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't even have AIDS. That AIDS ain't the or HIV.

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Speaker 1: It isn't the thing that you're you're suggesting this. He's

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Speaker 1: not gay, he's he just loves women more than any

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Speaker 1: of us. If, if anything, that rumor is the one

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Speaker 1: thing that could have got him back into the league

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Speaker 1: at that time, right that it's like, no, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: have HIV, he's he's just gotta the biggest penis that

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Speaker 1: ever was. Yeah, he killed these twelve ladies after the

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Speaker 1: Spurs game and he's sorry, saying Antonio, but isn't you know,

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Speaker 1: hopefully you'll find a new comptroller. So this goes on

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Speaker 1: because I think I love that. I will say that,

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Speaker 1: I really love that. The diversity of the people that

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Speaker 1: he's fucking in your imagination, Yeah, yeah, no, anybody can

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Speaker 1: get it, as far as I thought. But it sounds

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Speaker 1: like not only anybody, but everybody. It sounds like he

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Speaker 1: really is trying to hit all of like the scales

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Speaker 1: of the market, you know what I mean when after

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Speaker 1: my own heart, Yeah, I respect that. That's pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: I think it's cooler than to fuck a ton of

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Speaker 1: weird people than like a little a few hot people

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Speaker 1: right the like just to funk like three models is fine,

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Speaker 1: but to fuck like sixty eight working class gals from

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Speaker 1: all over the market that's each with different attributes and stats. ROBERTA,

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Speaker 1: she wants your kids. Let's just say she wanted to

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Speaker 1: be all of garden because of the unlimited bread sticks

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. That's what I'm into. The additional

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Speaker 1: part that he says, Marcus goes on to say that

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Speaker 1: we should be together too. Let's say that. No, he

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Speaker 1: does say, ps, And then I got nervous that you

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Speaker 1: actually did know what he says. But yes, but you

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Speaker 1: may ask didn't he come back and play again? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I would ask that, and he Marcus says, yes he did.

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Speaker 1: But that's because NBA writings were dipping from MJ's retirement.

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Speaker 1: Insert funk flex bombs. No, I'm not doing that. You're

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Speaker 1: not gonna give Marcus the funk flex drop that he's

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Speaker 1: so desperately desires. Michael Jordan was gone for one season.

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about, Well, Michael Jordan's I will

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Speaker 1: say that the NBA had to I would assume had

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Speaker 1: to have suffered pretty dramatic viewership loss at the hands

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Speaker 1: of Michael Jordan's leaving. I don't think that part field.

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Speaker 1: Do you think Magic Johnson is the one who would

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Speaker 1: have revived that? Do you think I would have been

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Speaker 1: like Michael Jordan's gone. Oh but thank god Magic. No

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Speaker 1: offense to Magic. He was like fifty. He wasn't fifty,

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Speaker 1: but he was old as that. But he wasn't he was.

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Speaker 1: He was definitely older. I will say that Magic left

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Speaker 1: a face of the NBA, and so in that way,

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Speaker 1: if I'm a desperate marketing man, I may not have

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Speaker 1: made the right choice. But I may think if we

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Speaker 1: can't have Michael Magic is the next best in line,

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Speaker 1: you can't put Isaiah Thomas's grumpy ass as the fair

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, who else is the guy?

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Speaker 1: Scottie Pippen, Jesus Christ. Look at him. He ain't he

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Speaker 1: ain't doing well and he's he's he's long past his career.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, he's never been doing that well. Scotty

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Speaker 1: was struggling from top to bottom. Charles is a sad

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Speaker 1: man from Arkansas. Charles Barkley is gonna cuss and and

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Speaker 1: gamble on TV. He wasn't, Yeah, none of the others weren't.

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Speaker 1: But he's like more brazen about it. Yeah, he's he's

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Speaker 1: unreasonable about it. I always like Charles Barkley because he

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Speaker 1: looked like a basketball. It's like when you see a

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Speaker 1: pigeon eating chicken and you're like, it looks like a basketball.

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Speaker 1: Good talk, this is your kid. Yeah. I just don't

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Speaker 1: know that the league was necessarily flushed with a lot

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Speaker 1: of other opportunities at the time for faces. No, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't, And I'm sorry, Marcus, I'm sorry that we

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Speaker 1: haven't reached out, you know, And what's this about you

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Speaker 1: said you like tor slitch your wrist too, that she's

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Speaker 1: clowning John. Come on, how fund up is you? Eminem

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Speaker 1: used suspit. Man. I know, I know we're in an era.

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Speaker 1: I know we're in an arrow where everybody is he wraps,

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Speaker 1: he wraps bad whatever. Now, But even then, he used

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Speaker 1: to have it. Baby, come on, I did that white

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Speaker 1: gang his flowers. I did think that something was deep

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Speaker 1: when I was in the seventh grade, dog, I used

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Speaker 1: to think Stan was like, man, he really did it.

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Speaker 1: He really did bro, he really he cracked the code. Also,

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Speaker 1: I am whatever you sure, which is no, you need

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Speaker 1: a better sense of self, my friend. Yeah, And I'll

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Speaker 1: remember the video was him committing suicide. It was him

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Speaker 1: jumping off of a building and then slamming into the

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Speaker 1: ground and then getting up. I think like he couldn't

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Speaker 1: die from his own suicide attempt in the video. That

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Speaker 1: white guy had a lot of feelings, man, he was.

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Speaker 1: He was feeling a lot of stuff back and a

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Speaker 1: lot of feelings back there. And now he's pretty numb.

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Speaker 1: And I think that we can tell the difference. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's I haven't I haven't gone back to the well. No,

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Speaker 1: I can't go back, but but man did. I used

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Speaker 1: to sit in the back of my dad's are and

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Speaker 1: listened to him be mean to his ex wife for

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Speaker 1: hours at a time, just a man threatening to abuse

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Speaker 1: his family for for legit hours. Oh yeah. He was

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Speaker 1: very complicated relationships with the women, really more so than

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Speaker 1: I would say other rappers. Yeah, that's true, and they

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Speaker 1: don't often. Although he took his fair share of flat

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Speaker 1: slat what is flat he took? Yeah, he took his ship.

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Speaker 1: But I think it was more rooted in his homophobia

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Speaker 1: than it ever was about like just deeply hating his

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Speaker 1: women in general, but the women in his life specifically

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Speaker 1: the women. Yeah, damn well, Marcus, this this jumped off

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Speaker 1: the rails almost immediately. I I will say, unlike Borri,

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Speaker 1: I won't. I'm not bought into the conspiracy the whole.

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Speaker 1: But I will say that the part about bringing magic

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Speaker 1: back during the the dip of the NBA makes much

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Speaker 1: more sense to me. That like that seems legitimate now,

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Speaker 1: whether or not it's because he's split women in half

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Speaker 1: is the part where I I start to question it

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Speaker 1: a little bit, and it sounds like your uncle is

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Speaker 1: a man who has a bunch of other theories that

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Speaker 1: that may be. I bet, I bet we sent him down.

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Speaker 1: He's got this isn't even the iceberg. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: think this is the one your uncle but even believes

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Speaker 1: in the most. I think he's got some other ones

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Speaker 1: that he's much more adamant about. I think so. But

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Speaker 1: I hope this answers your question. I think Magic Johnson

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Speaker 1: probably was a a very valuable face for the NBA

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Speaker 1: and worth bringing back funk Flex half of funk Flex.

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Speaker 1: Drop on that, and that's called motherfucking. That's called motherfuck.

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Speaker 1: That's what you get. And I think Magic Johnson had

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Speaker 1: a perfectly healthy paint is at. I think he sucked

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Speaker 1: a lot. I do think you sucked a lot. I

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Speaker 1: think he sucked a lot. I think I think he

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Speaker 1: earned whatever whatever he ultimately got in his life. Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's the way to look at sexually.

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Speaker 1: I think he get he got the trophy, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I think he worked hard for it. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: this has been another mini episode of my Mama told me, boy,

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Speaker 1: could you tell the people where they can find you

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Speaker 1: what cool ship you have? Cool guy jokes seven on

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Speaker 1: Instagraham come out and see me December thro at the

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Speaker 1: Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club in Las Vegas. Thank you guys

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Speaker 1: for coming out to shows too recently. It's been nice.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it when you come up and say hi,

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah, And as always, you can follow me at

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Speaker 1: Lanks and Kerman. I love for you to say hi

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Speaker 1: digitally or catch me on the street. I'd be at

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Speaker 1: rolphed sometimes. If you catch I'll say what's up? And uh.

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Speaker 1: As always, if you want to send us your own

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theories, your own drops. If you want to tell

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Speaker 1: us who you think Magic Johnson fucked to death, please

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Speaker 1: send their names to my Mama pod at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you. And that's about it. Bye, bitch.

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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many years, so many episode, motherfucking mini years, so,

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Speaker 1: motherfucking mini year, so many years, motherfucking miniyears, so