Speaker 1: Tell me I can't see Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome
Speaker 1: to hand me my purse the podcast. I am Mimi Walker,
Speaker 1: and I will be your forever host, each and every
Speaker 1: single time you tune into this podcast. So go ahead
Speaker 1: and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of your favorite beverage,
Speaker 1: whether that's alkaline water, red kool aid, a high cup
Speaker 1: of tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet, Sauvignon or Hennessy,
Speaker 1: and light yourself a candle, some incense or burn some
Speaker 1: sage and just get ready to chill out and have
Speaker 1: a good time. What's up, friends and ken, It is
Speaker 1: none other than Mimi Walker, Resident Auntie Supreme, here hand
Speaker 1: me my purse the podcast. And today I am sipping
Speaker 1: on a little cocktail I made for myself in honor
Speaker 1: of Juneteenth, which is coming up if you are listening
Speaker 1: to this before Juneteenth. And I made it in honor,
Speaker 1: like I said, of Juneteenth and my ancestors. I made
Speaker 1: it to honor our ancestors. And in this little cocktail,
Speaker 1: I will tell you that first and foremost, it is
Speaker 1: red in color, because that holds a very specific significance
Speaker 1: when celebrating Juneteenth, which I will get into explain a
Speaker 1: little later. And in this cocktail, I have some lemonade, strawberries,
Speaker 1: hibiscus tea that I'm brewed just from a tea bag,
Speaker 1: and some Remy Martin Vsop which is a champagne kognak.
Speaker 1: And you know Black people love kognak. Okay Hannessy, Hemmy
Speaker 1: Hennessy and Remy Martin are really the only two konyaks
Speaker 1: that I know. Oh do Say, Do Say is a konnyak.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I have Remy Martin vs. Op champagne. I
Speaker 1: love saying that champagne kognak and it's been sitting in
Speaker 1: my refrigerator and I put a cinnamon stick in it.
Speaker 1: And I learned there from Gina over at the bedroom Bartender.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Eugena also for being on my very
Speaker 1: first Juneteenth episode back in twenty twenty, and that episode
Speaker 1: to this date, it's one of the most listened to
Speaker 1: episodes of Hand Me My Purse, So shout out to Eugena.
Speaker 1: I have two genas that are friends to Hand Me
Speaker 1: My Purse. Gina Page, the president and co founder of
Speaker 1: African Ancestry dot Com and Gina founder and president creator
Speaker 1: and what does she call herself? I can't remember Concoctress
Speaker 1: over at the Bedroom and Bartender, but I'm gonna link
Speaker 1: that episode this episode number eight in the show notes.
Speaker 1: That was a really good episode. It was extremely informative.
Speaker 1: We learned a lot about making cocktails, but we also
Speaker 1: learned about Juneteenth and the significance of certain beverages and
Speaker 1: foods that are eaten during those celebrations and that have
Speaker 1: been incorporated into June teenth celebrations over the years. I'm
Speaker 1: also going to link an article that I read about
Speaker 1: the importance of red colored foods and beverages as it
Speaker 1: relates to Juneteenth in the show notes as well. There
Speaker 1: are plenty of opportunities here at handing my Purse for
Speaker 1: you to learn something new or easily share them with
Speaker 1: someone you love or someone you like. Either way you
Speaker 1: can learn something, and who doesn't like to learn friends?
Speaker 1: I'm caving for today's jam. The song is entitled I
Speaker 1: Got It and then is by an artist, a young lady.
Speaker 1: Her name is og which, first of all, that's a
Speaker 1: dope ass name I have. But anyway, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: talk too much about this. I don't have too much
Speaker 1: to say about this song other than this shit is hot,
Speaker 1: and it's hot like fresh fish grease on a Friday night.
Speaker 1: This young sayster og. She did not come to play.
Speaker 1: She's not here to play with y'all at all. Do
Speaker 1: you understand me? Her voice is very smoky and not
Speaker 1: like a smoker like, but it's like smokey. Do you
Speaker 1: understand that? And I don't know why I'm rubbing my
Speaker 1: fingers together like you can see me and understand what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. But her voice has texture. Boom, that's what
Speaker 1: it is. Her voice has texture, and it's like the
Speaker 1: texture of smoke if you could touch it. And the
Speaker 1: really dope part is that the lyrics of this song
Speaker 1: could easily be played over like a real like a
Speaker 1: dope ass hip hop beat. It kind of is because
Speaker 1: the beat is dope. And as I said it before,
Speaker 1: my voice is just phenomenal. It's not like anything I
Speaker 1: have actually heard before, and I of it. And I'm
Speaker 1: often grumpy because I've told you that I'm a bit
Speaker 1: of a music so now, but I'm often grumpy when
Speaker 1: I think about the state of not necessarily music, but
Speaker 1: the state of vocalists and vocal ability and people who
Speaker 1: sing or call themselves singers in this current musical climate.
Speaker 1: But I love when I find someone awesome. Jasmine Sullivan
Speaker 1: cannot carry the young gals on all on her back,
Speaker 1: all by herself. She needs some help in the game,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And so I like people
Speaker 1: who can sing. Also, please be advised that the production
Speaker 1: and the arrangement of this song is Out of this world.
Speaker 1: OG's debut album or debut eb debut EBT. Come on
Speaker 1: food Stamps. OG has her debut EP out now and
Speaker 1: that is called Monologues. Go check it out. There's some
Speaker 1: other gyms on the EP two, but for me, this
Speaker 1: song reigns supreme. It's like it's the one. Go check
Speaker 1: it out, go listen to it as usual. You will
Speaker 1: find the direct link to the song in the show notes,
Speaker 1: so you can check it out. You're very welcome and
Speaker 1: look at that. It's Black Music Moth. This is my
Speaker 1: gift to you guys. It's Black Music Mouth, Happy Black
Speaker 1: Music Month, Happy Juneteenth again. You are welcome. Now let's
Speaker 1: get into the show. So today, friends and ken, we
Speaker 1: are gonna hit on a few things. One Juneteenth is coming.
Speaker 1: If you listen to this on the fifteenth, which you
Speaker 1: may or you may not. I don't really know. But
Speaker 1: if you do, Juneteenth is coming. If you don't, Juneteenth
Speaker 1: has passed. And either when you look at it, that's exciting,
Speaker 1: right or is it exciting? I'm curious to know are
Speaker 1: black people still excited about Juneteenth now that it is
Speaker 1: a federal all of day. Second, I want to talk
Speaker 1: about being intentional, about black joy and about joy period
Speaker 1: and how important it is to be intentional, and also
Speaker 1: how black joy is like pure fucking magic, like absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's just pure magic. Third, I want to talk about
Speaker 1: the fact that it is time for the handing my
Speaker 1: first gratitude challenge and we are about to get big
Speaker 1: things popping. Do you remember when people used to say that,
Speaker 1: I don't think they say big things popping no more. Well,
Speaker 1: I wanted to say it, so I did. But just
Speaker 1: know that I don't usually say that. I'm not that late,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to say it today. It felt good.
Speaker 1: I felt it in my bones. But anyway, first, let's
Speaker 1: talk to you in tea. And I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and just jump out and say, let's talk Juneteenth, and
Speaker 1: let's talk about black folks need for white validation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I said the ship. I said it, and let's just
Speaker 1: be honest. Part of the reason, let's talk about the
Speaker 1: reason that this even became a holiday in the first place.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty, there were some really major cases of
Speaker 1: violence against black people that made the news a maud,
Speaker 1: excuse me, a very Brianna Taylor, George Floyd. Personally, I
Speaker 1: feel like the following year, Juneteenth was like a form
Speaker 1: of reconciliation. It was a it was a form of
Speaker 1: an apology, signing that holiday into becoming a federal holiday.
Speaker 1: And while it is kind and it is nice, and
Speaker 1: thank you Joseph Biden, President Biden for that, so nice,
Speaker 1: so very nice, I just feel like it was like
Speaker 1: a band aid. So okay, great, we get a day off,
Speaker 1: but it was still a band aid. And the truth
Speaker 1: of the matter is that I could have done without it.
Speaker 1: I was okay with Juneteenth being like our thing, and
Speaker 1: now it's everybody's thing. So I also feel like it
Speaker 1: became so I feel like it became a holiday out
Speaker 1: of one white guilt, but also I feel like it
Speaker 1: became a holiday, in my opinion, as a result of
Speaker 1: our desire to be validated by white people in America.
Speaker 1: The very people who put laws into place refuting our
Speaker 1: value as humans. President Joe Biden last year in the
Speaker 1: Proclamation of the Signing of the Observance of Juneteenth, he
Speaker 1: said the following, and I quote some thirty proclaims that
Speaker 1: weeping mandure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Speaker 1: Juneteenth marks both the long, hard night of slavery and
Speaker 1: discrimination and the promise of a brighter morning to come.
Speaker 1: My administration is committed to building an economy and a
Speaker 1: nation that brings everyone along and finally delivers our nation's
Speaker 1: founding promise to Black Americans. Together, we will lay the
Speaker 1: roots of real and lasting justice so that we can
Speaker 1: become the extraordinary country that was promised to all Americans.
Speaker 1: Juneteenth not only commemorates the past, it calls us to
Speaker 1: action today. End quote. That was very nice, and it
Speaker 1: was nicely stated, and whoever wrote it, shout out to
Speaker 1: you because it sounds good. And I wish that you
Speaker 1: guys could see the side eye that I'm giving in
Speaker 1: this moment, because to me, all of this shit sounds really,
Speaker 1: really really good on paper. However, we all know, based
Speaker 1: on the nightly news in your local city and my city,
Speaker 1: that's Baltimore and we are talking major crime over here, buddy.
Speaker 1: Or if you live outside of the US and you
Speaker 1: just happen to watch CNN and look at the news
Speaker 1: for the US of A, you'll see exactly what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, don't girl. I appreciate the effort. I do,
Speaker 1: I really do. I'm not even you know, bullshit, nor
Speaker 1: you know, trying to like fake it. But I do
Speaker 1: think that the gesture is nice. I think that what
Speaker 1: he said was nice. I really appreciate the effort, and
Speaker 1: it's so very kind of the government to do this
Speaker 1: for us. It's so very very nice of the government.
Speaker 1: But the truth of the matter is we didn't really
Speaker 1: need this holiday. And that's real shit, because the question
Speaker 1: for me is what is the motivation behind it? To
Speaker 1: a piece who like, realistically, Juneteenth was like our little
Speaker 1: black secret. To tell the truth, it was a secret
Speaker 1: to some black people too, because some black people didn't
Speaker 1: even know about it, but it was ours. I oftentimes
Speaker 1: get so frustrated when I see things that are hours
Speaker 1: like giving out to the world for them to partake of.
Speaker 1: Case in point, videos on YouTube on how to corn
Speaker 1: row or how to braid hair. Granted, I'm sure they
Speaker 1: help black people. I'm sure, I'm sure they do. But
Speaker 1: like some stuff, we just need to keep. Some stuff
Speaker 1: just needs to be ours, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Some things just belong to us and we should just
Speaker 1: hold them dear and near and close and tight to
Speaker 1: our bosom, because there are things that our ancestors gave
Speaker 1: us and gifted to us, and we don't need to
Speaker 1: share them with everyone else. I don't think anything is
Speaker 1: wrong with that. So June teenth, like I said, was
Speaker 1: our little secret. It belonged to us, and now it's everybody's,
Speaker 1: and let the record reflect everybody doesn't deserve our June teenth.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. It is amazing that my people
Speaker 1: are being acknowledge for our own hidden stay, our own
Speaker 1: day that is documented as a day of freedom for
Speaker 1: enslaved Africans and descendants of Africans that were brought to
Speaker 1: this country by way of kidnapping against their own will,
Speaker 1: enforced into labor, and that now the nation will be
Speaker 1: forced to acknowledge that there should be a celebration regarding
Speaker 1: that document that documented, excuse me, and of the enslavement
Speaker 1: of black people in this country. It's amazing. I think
Speaker 1: it's great. I didn't say that they will accept it,
Speaker 1: but they at least have to acknowledge it. As it
Speaker 1: is now a federal holiday, they have to acknowledge that
Speaker 1: it exists. Exists. Excuse me, it's so very nice. However, personally,
Speaker 1: this means nothing in the grand scheme of our success
Speaker 1: as a people. Having this holiday is not going to
Speaker 1: stop white supremacists from going into supermarkets, predominantly black supermarkets
Speaker 1: in Buffalo and shooting up black people. It's not going
Speaker 1: to stop white supremacists from going into churches and shooting
Speaker 1: up black people. It's not going to stop the violent
Speaker 1: attacks of racism against black people. It's not going to
Speaker 1: stop injustice. It's not gonna stop discrimination in the workplace.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna stop passive aggressive microaggressions at work. It's
Speaker 1: not going to stop those videos from popping up on
Speaker 1: social media where white women are zapping out in stores
Speaker 1: and accusing black men of doing things like. Those things
Speaker 1: aren't going to stop because we have this holiday. So
Speaker 1: just let us keep the holiday. We don't need a
Speaker 1: day off, And to be really honest, if we want
Speaker 1: to take the day off, we take the goddamn y'all,
Speaker 1: and here here's the here's the kicker, here's the real
Speaker 1: Funky cole Medina. What why did I say that? You know,
Speaker 1: first of all, do not laugh at me, laugh with me,
Speaker 1: because Funky Comadina was a good fucking song. Some of
Speaker 1: you may not even know what the hell funky cole
Speaker 1: Medina is. Funky Comadina was a song that came out
Speaker 1: in the nineties and it was fucking amazing. Shout out
Speaker 1: the tone, look Shout out to the West coast, Shout
Speaker 1: out to LA. If you don't know funky Comadina, go
Speaker 1: listen to it. I still, to this day don't really
Speaker 1: know what funky cold Medina is. Why didn't the world
Speaker 1: is that? I digress people? But like I was saying,
Speaker 1: if you haven't heard already, there are a few white
Speaker 1: owned organizations that are already trying to capitalize on black
Speaker 1: dollars as usual. It's the history of this nation, for
Speaker 1: God's sake, by getting Juneteenth trademarks for products that of
Speaker 1: course will be bought up and purchased by black people
Speaker 1: for shame, for shame people. But realistically, who is shocked
Speaker 1: by this behavior? Not me, not ever, I do understand
Speaker 1: the desire to want our people's documented freedom. Notice how
Speaker 1: it keeps saying documented documented freedom to be acknowledged and
Speaker 1: celebrated by the entire country. But really, why do we
Speaker 1: want everyone to celebrate when they aren't even really happy
Speaker 1: about it in the first place. You know, we've been fighting,
Speaker 1: steel fighting to this day. Let me keep it real clear.
Speaker 1: I don't really want anybody celebrating with me that doesn't
Speaker 1: really want my people to be free, and I mean
Speaker 1: fully free. And what do I mean by that? Let
Speaker 1: your imagination run whatever being fully free is to you.
Speaker 1: If there's anybody who doesn't want me to be fully
Speaker 1: free based on what my imagination takes me to when
Speaker 1: it comes to freedom for black people, I don't want
Speaker 1: you fucking celebrating with me. Specifically, I don't want you
Speaker 1: fucking celebrating with me on the day in which my
Speaker 1: ancestors celebrate and commemorate the fact that they were given
Speaker 1: gifted if you will documented freedom, Okay? You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: I wonder, like, what would a world be like for
Speaker 1: black people? What would it look like if we didn't
Speaker 1: seek out the validation of other people. We would have
Speaker 1: secrets that we keep tucked in our bosom. We wouldn't
Speaker 1: feel the need to showcase our excellence and our wondrousness
Speaker 1: and our gifts, our God given gifts, just for approval
Speaker 1: from outsiders. We wouldn't feel the need to shuck and jive.
Speaker 1: And I've been seeing shock and drive a lot lately,
Speaker 1: the stuff and go all out in so many different
Speaker 1: ways just to show that we are just as good,
Speaker 1: or that we are equal, or that we are worthy
Speaker 1: of great things, or you know, in some people's eyes,
Speaker 1: the same things that other people have, other people being
Speaker 1: the people who have fundamentally oppressed Black people in this country,
Speaker 1: because truthfully, the need for approval is really rooted in
Speaker 1: issues of self worth, which would make sense seeing as
Speaker 1: though we have been socially conditioned to believe that we
Speaker 1: are less than and that we are inferior. And truthfully,
Speaker 1: all of the hard work and all of the focused
Speaker 1: determination that has been put into oppressed in black people
Speaker 1: in America results oftentimes in US attempting to show others, Hey,
Speaker 1: look at this amazing thing I can do. Remember Mad TV,
Speaker 1: Look what I can do. Stuhurt. Remember Stewart. Some of
Speaker 1: y'all may never remember stuartbt. I know some of y'all do.
Speaker 1: Stewart shout out to Stewart and shout out to Miss Swan,
Speaker 1: I miss her. But whatever, look at this amazing thing
Speaker 1: I can do. Look at how wonderful we are. We're great,
Speaker 1: We're black, We're awesome. Look at we are phenomenal. See
Speaker 1: look at us, look at us when really what we
Speaker 1: really need to do is look inward and say these
Speaker 1: things to ourselves, pray, give thanks to our ancestors and
Speaker 1: say them to them, share them with our children, and
Speaker 1: teach them to do the same things for themselves. To
Speaker 1: see the wonder and the beauty and the greatness that excellence,
Speaker 1: the fucking amazing, the absolute amazingness that exists in being black.
Speaker 1: We don't need to seek validation from anybody. We could
Speaker 1: have kept Juneteenth of us thing and kept it close
Speaker 1: to our bosom. We could have kept it. Ain't that
Speaker 1: wrong with keeping it because now something that our ancestors
Speaker 1: created to celebrate their emancipation or their not being under
Speaker 1: the hold of forced slavery, forced enslavement, now it will
Speaker 1: be subject to being devoured by the need for capital gain,
Speaker 1: and not even by us. That's that's the real fucked
Speaker 1: up part. I'm gonna go ahead and stop because what's
Speaker 1: done is done. However, just keep that in the back
Speaker 1: of your mind. Okay, I want Black people to stop
Speaker 1: seeking validation from an outside source. I want Black people
Speaker 1: to look inside and look inward and figure out what
Speaker 1: it is that you need to fill yourself with that
Speaker 1: sense of approval and be well with you, be well
Speaker 1: with us, with who we are, where we come from,
Speaker 1: what we have endured, who we are now, what we
Speaker 1: are now, have hope and feel promised for our future
Speaker 1: because we are who we are. It's gonna be what
Speaker 1: it's gonna be. And then the words of the good
Speaker 1: young prophet Kendrick Lamar, We're gonna be all right at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. Like you know, I said
Speaker 1: this before. We are the descendants of the Africans that
Speaker 1: were forced, kidnapped and forced and let's be clear, okay,
Speaker 1: that we're offered up for money by other Africans and
Speaker 1: forced to come here and endure the oppression and justice
Speaker 1: and enslavement at the hands of Europeans. But we are
Speaker 1: the descendants of the people who lived through that. I
Speaker 1: said this before on a previous episode. We are the
Speaker 1: fucking descendants of the people who made it through the
Speaker 1: Middle passage. I don't think you really get that when
Speaker 1: you sit in that ship, like when you sit in it,
Speaker 1: we are the byproduct of the people that lived through it.
Speaker 1: Do you understand what is in our bones? Do you
Speaker 1: understand what it is in our dna? Man? Please? What
Speaker 1: we're gonna be okay? We don't already went through the
Speaker 1: worst part. I fully believe that it can. And I
Speaker 1: think that if collective we really looked at it like this,
Speaker 1: it can only be up from here because we have
Speaker 1: already been literally into the belly of hell. We've already
Speaker 1: been in the belly of hell, and we came out
Speaker 1: that motherfucker. Excuse my French, and you know I use
Speaker 1: a lot of French words on here, but we made
Speaker 1: we made it out. We are the descendants of the
Speaker 1: people who made it out of the belly of the beasts. Literally,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be okay. Does that mean it's gonna be perfect? Hell? Now?
Speaker 1: But we're gonna be okay. And and that's it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get off this soapbox, man, because I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm about to preach a word. The one thing that
Speaker 1: I am really excited about with this Juneteenth Surge and
Speaker 1: this whole federal holiday thing is that so many more
Speaker 1: black folks are getting into celebrating the day. Who amongst us,
Speaker 1: friends and Kim will be doing something for Juneteenth this year.
Speaker 1: I am very excited to say that my family will
Speaker 1: be celebrating big this year. It's gonna be a whole
Speaker 1: literation over here. Red foods will be everywhere, Black joy
Speaker 1: will be everywhere, gratitude will be everywhere. Oh yeah, speaking
Speaker 1: of black joy, what does that look like for you? Like?
Speaker 1: What does that mean to you? What is black joy?
Speaker 1: For you? Joy by definition is a feeling of great
Speaker 1: pleasure or happiness. For me, joy is something I am
Speaker 1: extremely intentional about. Why Because with the way the world
Speaker 1: is set up, if we are not intentional about our joy,
Speaker 1: we will end up with lived experiences wherein we are
Speaker 1: cloaked in the opposite of joy. There's a poem that
Speaker 1: I came across. It is written by black woman and
Speaker 1: it's entitled joy is an Act of Resistance. I would
Speaker 1: add on to that that black joy is an intentional
Speaker 1: act of resistance. Inside note, let me digress for one second.
Speaker 1: Good friends, I recognize that I didn't talk about the
Speaker 1: significance of red foods for Juneteenth, But I did as
Speaker 1: I stated that I would put the link to the
Speaker 1: very interesting and informative article that I read in the
Speaker 1: show notes. Go read it. My apologies, but my spirit
Speaker 1: took me in a different direction. Sometimes something that I'm
Speaker 1: learning is that we have to be like water and
Speaker 1: just flow back to our regularly scheduled program. As I
Speaker 1: was saying black joy, I would say that black joy
Speaker 1: is an intentional act of resistance, a radical, intentional act
Speaker 1: of resistance. Sometimes I wonder how in the hell is
Speaker 1: it that black people manage to stay so full of joy?
Speaker 1: And we are joyfull? Do you understand me? For all
Speaker 1: of the sadness, to anger, the rage, of the disappointment,
Speaker 1: the violence and the downright evil that we encounter every
Speaker 1: day and that we live through every day and that
Speaker 1: we have to navigate through every day, we still find
Speaker 1: ways to feel and share our joy, not just with
Speaker 1: one another but with the world. And that, my friends,
Speaker 1: an Ken, is fucking phenomenal to me. I don't get it,
Speaker 1: But guess what, I don't even care. I'm just glad
Speaker 1: that I'm a part of it. And I know that
Speaker 1: other people are wondering how the fuck do they do that.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, under no circumstances do I
Speaker 1: not believe that there is a correlation between us being
Speaker 1: the descendants of the people who made it out of
Speaker 1: the Middle Passage and us having so much joy. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it's in our bones. I'm telling you, in
Speaker 1: the marrow of our bones. There is that special sauce
Speaker 1: that everybody tries to replicate but you can't because you
Speaker 1: didn't your ancestor that living a belly at the beast,
Speaker 1: And it just says so much about our bones to me,
Speaker 1: our resilience are innate warrior spirits. We are warriors, man.
Speaker 1: Speaking of which, Warriors come out to play a I
Speaker 1: don't really follow basketball that much. Yes, I am doing
Speaker 1: another side note, but out the Warriors when the series.
Speaker 1: I used to be a big time Celtics fan, but
Speaker 1: I am not not anymore, not for any reason, but
Speaker 1: well for a reason Paul Pierce no longer plays with
Speaker 1: the Celtics, so I'm not a big Warrior fan. I
Speaker 1: mean such a sense. But anyway, go Warriors. Shout out
Speaker 1: to my uncle Al, who is a big Warriors fan.
Speaker 1: And that is really why I'm rooting for the Warriors.
Speaker 1: Because of my uncle Al who loves the warriors. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry I digress yet again as I was saying, it's
Speaker 1: a part of our innate warrior spirits, spirit warrior spirits,
Speaker 1: no Mimi war or your spirit and or spirits, our
Speaker 1: ability to take the energy of pure evil and still
Speaker 1: be able to smile and to shine and be smothered
Speaker 1: in joy. That's the secret that we will never share
Speaker 1: with anybody else because I don't even think we understand it,
Speaker 1: and I don't think it's meant to be understood. What's
Speaker 1: that saying? Say that which is understood does not need
Speaker 1: to be explained. We don't need to explain it, and
Speaker 1: I don't need anybody to explain it to me. I
Speaker 1: don't need to understand it. I just know that it is.
Speaker 1: We don't get that shit ourselves, and that's fine too.
Speaker 1: Just basking the glow of the joy, that black joy,
Speaker 1: Just basking it and just continue to be joyful because
Speaker 1: we deserve it. Is our birthright. It's our birthright to
Speaker 1: feel joy every day. We deserve that, and we deserve it.
Speaker 1: Dare I say a little more than everybody else the
Speaker 1: world owes us fucking joy every day of our black
Speaker 1: ass lives to be filled up with raw, pure, uncut elation.
Speaker 1: And we know that nobody is going to give it
Speaker 1: to us nor help us get to the joy. Ain't
Speaker 1: nobody helping us get to the joy. But it is
Speaker 1: our duty to be intentional about seeking out means of
Speaker 1: experiencing joy every damn day. Put that in your plan
Speaker 1: or writing in your planner seek joy today, set a
Speaker 1: reminder in your phone, seek joy. Being intentional is a
Speaker 1: form of power. Use your power to infuse more joy
Speaker 1: into your life. Not only your life, use power to
Speaker 1: infuse more joy into other people's lives. And I would
Speaker 1: say this, if you need help on find us some joy,
Speaker 1: go to social media. And I don't really direct people
Speaker 1: to social media, but go to social media. It's so
Speaker 1: many fun, happy, joyful black moments on social media if
Speaker 1: you go to the right places. TikTok is a great
Speaker 1: place to start. They have dances, they have babies, they
Speaker 1: have pets, they have inspirational conversations. Go seek the shit
Speaker 1: out and be authentic about it. Don't subscribe to that
Speaker 1: fake it till you make it shit, because that's bullshit.
Speaker 1: When it comes to your intentional happiness, you can't fake it.
Speaker 1: Till you make it. Nah, Nope, doesn't work that way,
Speaker 1: because then it's not real. Then it's synthetic joy. And
Speaker 1: we all know that anything synthetic is not gonna be
Speaker 1: good unless we are getting our hair braided. Then we
Speaker 1: want some synthetic hair. But otherwise synthetic is not the
Speaker 1: it's not the move. Go to TikTok and look up
Speaker 1: some dance challenges, some travel videos, some cooking videos, some
Speaker 1: reviews on restaurants. Some babies. Look for the babies. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, the babies bring me the joy big time.
Speaker 1: They bring big time joy. You're guaranteed to find some
Speaker 1: joyful black folks. You're gonna find some black folks smiling, laughing,
Speaker 1: having a good time, hanging with their friends, living it
Speaker 1: up and looking good, feeling good, and emitting nothing but
Speaker 1: joyful energy, I promise. And that is an easy way
Speaker 1: to be intentional about your joy. You seek it out,
Speaker 1: You take your power and you seek it out. A
Speaker 1: really easy way to do that is to be grateful,
Speaker 1: Be intentionally grateful. And how do we go about doing that? Me?
Speaker 1: Me is what you're asking, Well, I thought you never ask.
Speaker 1: One way is by joining me for the handing my
Speaker 1: first Gratitude Challenge, which starts today, and by today I
Speaker 1: mean June fifteenth. Today is June fifteenth if you're listening
Speaker 1: on the first day that this episode comes out, and
Speaker 1: today is the first day of the party. Technically it's
Speaker 1: not June fifteenth, of course, but when this episode was released,
Speaker 1: it will be June fifteenth. And this is the way
Speaker 1: the Gratitude Challenge works. From June fifteenth to July twenty ninth,
Speaker 1: we will be intentional about gratitude every single day. We
Speaker 1: will be focusing on gratitude daily, writing down four to
Speaker 1: eight things every single day that you are grateful for.
Speaker 1: You can use a notebook, a journal, post its and
Speaker 1: put them in a jar or in a box, and
Speaker 1: desk cards, put them in a stack, a notebook if
Speaker 1: you excuse me, a notepad if you like, or if
Speaker 1: you refuse to write them down, or so busy in
Speaker 1: your very busy, busy, busy life that you can't find
Speaker 1: the time to write four to eight sentences at some
Speaker 1: point in your day, you can use the note app
Speaker 1: in your phone or on your tablet and write it
Speaker 1: that way. You just want to be able to keep
Speaker 1: track of them every day for the forty four days
Speaker 1: of the challenge. Let model the way for you. Follow me,
Speaker 1: why don't you. Here's what I'm gonna be doing. Let's
Speaker 1: pretend that I am doing my entry for the day.
Speaker 1: Here's an example. I'm going to get my post its
Speaker 1: out because I like using posts and putting them in
Speaker 1: a clear jar so that I can see my progress.
Speaker 1: I'm intentional about that because it shows me that I'm
Speaker 1: moving along in the challenge. I like the way that
Speaker 1: the colorful posts look in the clear jar, and it
Speaker 1: makes it easy to transfer for them. For me, at
Speaker 1: the end of the challenge, I'm going to write the following,
Speaker 1: and this is real. If this would be my entry
Speaker 1: for the day, this is how it would read today.
Speaker 1: I am grateful for semi colon or colon. It's colon.
Speaker 1: I think today I'm grateful for colon, my co workers,
Speaker 1: laughing with my bestie, my ancestors, Remmy Martin Vsop champagne vodka.
Speaker 1: It's not vodka ONNAC chocolate chip ice cream. And that
Speaker 1: would just be my entry. That's it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be complicated. It's nothing like very out of this world.
Speaker 1: It's very simple. I wrote one, two, three, four, five, things,
Speaker 1: my coworkers, laughing with my bestie, my ancestors, Remy Martin,
Speaker 1: VP BSOP, Cognac, and chocolate, your ice cream. I would
Speaker 1: then fold up the post it note and place it
Speaker 1: in the jar that I used to keep my entries.
Speaker 1: This is a serious act of intention. It's a way
Speaker 1: for you to grab a hold of your power and
Speaker 1: use it for the greater good of your own life.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you this shit is infectious. And it
Speaker 1: also is self regulating, because when you start to like
Speaker 1: have negative thoughts or complain, it'll just after a while,
Speaker 1: you will, like I said, you'll self regulating. You'll stop complaining.
Speaker 1: You'll be like you know such as such. You'll start complaining,
Speaker 1: Oh my foot hurts. But you know what, I got
Speaker 1: shoes on my feet and I can buy myself my
Speaker 1: own shoes. I'm grateful for that. It really helps to
Speaker 1: shift your life and it's a great way for you
Speaker 1: to grab hold of your own power. And I really
Speaker 1: hope that you guys join me for the Gratitude Challenge.
Speaker 1: Like it's life shifting, Like it's really amazing and really amazing.
Speaker 1: Shit happens as a result of choosing to intentionally focus
Speaker 1: on what is wonderful in your life? Already? We don't
Speaker 1: choose the hand that life deals us. However, we do
Speaker 1: have the power to choose how we play the hand.
Speaker 1: We choose how we play the game. We can choose
Speaker 1: to be intentional about finding joy, and it can start
Speaker 1: with being appreciative for what we already have. There's so
Speaker 1: much beauty and what we have. If we take the
Speaker 1: time to be still and really look at and examine
Speaker 1: our life, it's our choice to be grateful. Therefore, it
Speaker 1: is our choice to seek joy and find moments of happiness.
Speaker 1: Because truthfully, what's the alternative, like, and when you sit
Speaker 1: in that statement alone, like, what is the alternative to
Speaker 1: not being intentional about your joy? It's about being it's
Speaker 1: it's it's being intentional about your sorrow, and who the
Speaker 1: fuck wants to do that? That's bosom material right there.
Speaker 1: Those are Boso moves. So the question is what are
Speaker 1: you going to choose today? Are you going to choose
Speaker 1: to be intentional about seeking joy and intentional about being
Speaker 1: grateful for what you are blessed with? Or are you
Speaker 1: going to be intentional about all the fucked up shit
Speaker 1: that's going on? Don't be aboso. Friends, you deserve better,
Speaker 1: all right, So friends and can for today's straight fact question,
Speaker 1: we have a question from a guy today, and that
Speaker 1: is so awesome. I love when a gentleman, a gentleman friend,
Speaker 1: or a gentleman caller, or a gentleman listener, or a
Speaker 1: gentleman friend and ken write in or call in. This time,
Speaker 1: he called in and I or left the message and
Speaker 1: I had to transcribe it. I did the best that
Speaker 1: I could. So let's get into this question. Why don't we?
Speaker 1: It says here, I went on a date with this
Speaker 1: woman a few months ago. It seemed like a good date.
Speaker 1: It was our first date. We went to PF Chains.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that people, so I didn't know that
Speaker 1: people still went to PF chains, But I guess they
Speaker 1: do because they're still open anyway. You know, normally with
Speaker 1: first dates, you typically do an hour or two. While
Speaker 1: we were there for four hours. We had really good
Speaker 1: conversation station laughing and joking. It was a really good time,
Speaker 1: or at least I assumed it was a good time.
Speaker 1: She seemed like she was having a good time genuinely,
Speaker 1: unless she is like an extremely good actress. Just so
Speaker 1: you know, brother, women are really good actresses. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: thought we really hit it off. We were in touch
Speaker 1: a few days later, like texting mostly. Then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, it was radio silence by so I reached
Speaker 1: out to her and asked her, is everything all right?
Speaker 1: Is everything cool? Because you know, I understand that sometimes
Speaker 1: shit be happening in life, be lifing. Just a side note,
Speaker 1: I love that I love life be lifing. Anyway, moving
Speaker 1: on well. In her response, she was kind of vague
Speaker 1: and kind of blew me off, saying we'll talk about
Speaker 1: it or something like that, and we never talked about it.
Speaker 1: It was just like nothing ever happened from that stick
Speaker 1: to the game. From what I can tell, she seems
Speaker 1: to be living her best life on social media because
Speaker 1: we are still social media friends. Her life seems to
Speaker 1: be pretty normal, and it's like we never really got
Speaker 1: back to that. Like I said, we're still friends on
Speaker 1: social media and we still text one another from time
Speaker 1: to time. I feel like that was kind of weird,
Speaker 1: seeing that we had such a great time. Now that
Speaker 1: she owes me anything or anything like that, but it
Speaker 1: was just really weird to me. I have moved on
Speaker 1: and it's not something that haunts me. I just think
Speaker 1: it's really interesting and I'm not sure what to make
Speaker 1: of it. Andrew from Upstate New York. Oh, Andrew, I
Speaker 1: know men have a hard time with this, but maybe
Speaker 1: she just wasn't that into you, because like I said,
Speaker 1: women are really good actresses. It could be a myriad
Speaker 1: of situation. So, first of all, I'm sorry that this
Speaker 1: happened to you, because this is kind of awkward. But
Speaker 1: at least, first and foremost, she didn't have has the
Speaker 1: decency to not ghost you, because a lot of times
Speaker 1: that's what happens. And I'm not going to say it's
Speaker 1: what guys do, because women ghost dudes too. But at
Speaker 1: least she thought enough of you not to ghost you.
Speaker 1: But it could be a myriad of things. One, she
Speaker 1: could just be biding time, you know, she could just
Speaker 1: be biding time in limbo in a situationship with somebody
Speaker 1: else and just kind of using you as a filler.
Speaker 1: Like here in Baltimore, crab cakes are very big here.
Speaker 1: People use different kind of binders and fillers to hold
Speaker 1: the crab cake together or to fill in the holes
Speaker 1: so that you just don't have a bunch of lump
Speaker 1: crab meat in a crab cake, it'll fall apart. So
Speaker 1: you could have been the breadcrumbs or the crackers in
Speaker 1: her crab cake. Just fill in the space. Another thing
Speaker 1: is I mean this is kind of connected. But she
Speaker 1: maybe she was on the rebound, Maybe she just got
Speaker 1: out of a relationship and she's like, I'm just going
Speaker 1: to date all of the dudes. I'm gonna go on
Speaker 1: all of the day and I'm just gonna see which
Speaker 1: ones work. Kind of like I'm gonna just throw all
Speaker 1: this shit against the wall and whatever stick sticks. And
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't stick for her. She could have just
Speaker 1: wanted to free dinner because people be doing that women
Speaker 1: women definitely, chicks definitely be doing that. They want a dinner.
Speaker 1: I can't really see where she would want to do
Speaker 1: that for PF changs, you know, not being you know,
Speaker 1: Saditi or anything. But like sis, if you can't buy
Speaker 1: your own dinner at PF chains, like in the words
Speaker 1: of the girls at Bella No Chase, then where in
Speaker 1: the hell can you go? Okay, if you can't baby
Speaker 1: your own free dinner at PF Chains, then says you
Speaker 1: don't need to be going out eating, So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just go ahead and say that maybe that wasn't it
Speaker 1: and hope that that wasn't it. Another option is maybe
Speaker 1: she just didn't like you. It's a possibility that maybe
Speaker 1: she just really didn't like you enough to want to
Speaker 1: date you, and maybe she had a good time, or
Speaker 1: maybe she just wasn't really into you and just wanted
Speaker 1: to be polite during dinner, or maybe she thought you
Speaker 1: were funny during dinner, but it was like, I don't
Speaker 1: really want to date dude, Like I don't. It's not
Speaker 1: sticking to the wall if you get what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: or just flat out here's here's the thing that I
Speaker 1: think that people overlook oftentimes in these situations. Maybe she
Speaker 1: just changed her mind, you know, maybe she just said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't want to do this. Nah,
Speaker 1: she could have just changed her mind. And I actually
Speaker 1: have a great suggestion for you. If you want to
Speaker 1: figure it out, ask her. Just ask her if you
Speaker 1: want to know, Just ask her with anything in life,
Speaker 1: if you want to freaking know, just ask now. If
Speaker 1: you don't really care, then just flush it down the
Speaker 1: toilet and keep it moving. But I will say, if
Speaker 1: you guys are still cool. You guys are on social
Speaker 1: media and if enough time has passed, just ask her, like,
Speaker 1: whatever happened we went out. I thought we had a
Speaker 1: good time, and you know, you said we would address
Speaker 1: you know, we would talk about, you know, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you said you would talk about, and we
Speaker 1: never did, and you kind of just left me hanging,
Speaker 1: and I was just wondering, like what was that about?
Speaker 1: Like no pressure, no stress. Whenever I'm talking to a
Speaker 1: guy and it's like how do I say this? And
Speaker 1: I want him to understand, like it's really no pressure,
Speaker 1: my guy, Like I'm just trying to get some clarity.
Speaker 1: I always let them know like it's no pressure or
Speaker 1: no stress. Sometimes guys don't respond to that. Well. I
Speaker 1: don't know if depending on what type of woman and
Speaker 1: she is, how she will respond to that. But the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is that, like I respect people
Speaker 1: who are mature enough to say, hey, you said this
Speaker 1: or you acted this way, it made me feel this way.
Speaker 1: I just want to get some clarity about what happened,
Speaker 1: because you never really followed up with me about X
Speaker 1: y Z. And no, she doesn't owe you anything, but
Speaker 1: if she considers you a friend, or if she has
Speaker 1: any compassion, or she's an adult, a mature adults, she'll say,
Speaker 1: you know, I apologize. I should have, you know, been
Speaker 1: a little more direct or I should have been a
Speaker 1: little more clear. You know, I just got out of
Speaker 1: a relationship with somebody and I just wanted to go
Speaker 1: out to get my mind off at him. You know,
Speaker 1: it's that simple that because that's what mature adults do.
Speaker 1: So good luck, Andrew. I hope that you get the
Speaker 1: clarity that you need. If you don't really need any clarity,
Speaker 1: don't go to PF changs anymore. Don't take women to
Speaker 1: PF changs. I'm just joking. If you like PF chanks,
Speaker 1: go to PF changs, but maybe just don't go there
Speaker 1: because it didn't work out for you. And that's not
Speaker 1: got no, no, no, no no, just the pfjangs. If
Speaker 1: they want to sponsor my podcast, I would happily tell
Speaker 1: people about how awesome they are. I just need to
Speaker 1: go back. I think they have really good lettuce wraps
Speaker 1: chicken lettuce wraps. Yeah, they do, they do, so I
Speaker 1: would talk about that if they want to sponsor him
Speaker 1: me my purse, but I don't really go there. Why
Speaker 1: so friends in Kent Today's quote for though we Gotta
Speaker 1: Do Better segment. It's from a book that Toronto Burke
Speaker 1: and Brene Brown collaborated on together entitled You Are Your
Speaker 1: Best Thing. And the quote is from a woman named
Speaker 1: Tanya Denise Fields. And the quote is as follows, I
Speaker 1: embraced joy as my birthright. Radical black joy is inherent
Speaker 1: as a human need and not some special trinket you
Speaker 1: get after you rise high enough on the social economic
Speaker 1: ladder or unlock some special level of desirability or accomplishment.
Speaker 1: It's just pause for a second, we'll read it one
Speaker 1: more time. I embraced joy as my birthright. Radical black
Speaker 1: joy is inherent as a human need and not some
Speaker 1: special trinket you get after you rise high enough on
Speaker 1: the social economic ladder or unlock some special level of
Speaker 1: desirability or accomplishments. And that is a quote from Tanya
Speaker 1: Denise Fields and You Are Your Best Thing. It's pretty
Speaker 1: deep too, if you really when you talk about respectability,
Speaker 1: politics and the black community, like, let all of that
Speaker 1: shit go and just be happy because it's your birthright
Speaker 1: to be happy. You don't earn the right to be happy.
Speaker 1: You don't earn the right to have joy. You don't
Speaker 1: earn the right to live a peaceful, joyful life. It's
Speaker 1: your birthright. You don't get it because you get a degree,
Speaker 1: or because you have a certain amount of money, or
Speaker 1: because you have the achieved the American dream. It's your
Speaker 1: fucking birthright to feel and experience all of those things. Friends,
Speaker 1: incame First things First, I papa freaks, all the honeys, dummies,
Speaker 1: playboy bunnies, those wanting money. Sorry, I digress. The first
Speaker 1: thing I want to do is thank God, because well
Speaker 1: we already know how this goes. God is supreme, and
Speaker 1: I recognize and appreciate the grace and mercy and understanding
Speaker 1: that God extends to me every single day in my
Speaker 1: black ass life. I am grateful for myself. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for my hard work, for my consistency, from my resilience,
Speaker 1: from my determined nation, for my perseverance, for my integrity,
Speaker 1: but most of all, for not giving up all myself,
Speaker 1: for not giving up on me. I am so grateful
Speaker 1: for me, for not giving up on me. Listen, that's
Speaker 1: a testimony right there. Showing gratitude for me is a
Speaker 1: form of self care. Showing gratitude for you, You You, Showing
Speaker 1: gratitude for you is a form of self care. And
Speaker 1: here and hand Me My Birth of the podcast. We
Speaker 1: are all about self care. I am thankful for you,
Speaker 1: my friends and family, my friends and ken, my supporters,
Speaker 1: and of course and most importantly every one of you
Speaker 1: out there listening. I love you, guys, to the end
Speaker 1: of the moon. To the edge of the moon. I
Speaker 1: wonder what is on the edge of the moon. And
Speaker 1: if it is cheese, what kind of cheese is it?
Speaker 1: Because if it go it is goat cheese. If it is,
Speaker 1: in fact goat cheese, I am open to go in
Speaker 1: there and stay for a couple of days. As I
Speaker 1: was saying, I love all of you guys, to the
Speaker 1: edge of the goat cheese moon. And it is an honor,
Speaker 1: a privilege, and a blessing for me to share my
Speaker 1: time and my energy with you, especially if you decide
Speaker 1: to keep coming back and listening again and again and again.
Speaker 1: I can't wait till we get to do this again. Now,
Speaker 1: do not forget that today if you're listening on June fifteenth.
Speaker 1: On June the fifteenth, we start the second installation of
Speaker 1: the Hand Me My Perth Gratitude Challenge. It will start
Speaker 1: on June fifteenth and It will run until July twenty ninth.
Speaker 1: It is forty four days, and each day we are
Speaker 1: going to write down four to eight things that we
Speaker 1: are grateful for. If you want to go over eight,
Speaker 1: go for it. I can tell you round about day
Speaker 1: number six or seventh that gets old. But if you
Speaker 1: have of the focus and the patients and the time
Speaker 1: to do so, go for it. But for forty four days,
Speaker 1: June the fifteenth to July twenty ninth, we are going
Speaker 1: to write down four to eight things that we are
Speaker 1: grateful for every single day. I've already gone over earlier
Speaker 1: in the episode and in the last episode and in
Speaker 1: episode number forty four exactly what you can do, the
Speaker 1: options that you have for documenting this, the reason that
Speaker 1: you document it, and most importantly, the purpose of the
Speaker 1: Gratitude Challenge. So please, please, please please join us, because
Speaker 1: I can promise you that the results in the outcome
Speaker 1: of doing this challenge, like it's amazing, Like you don't
Speaker 1: even realize the things that will come out of it.
Speaker 1: And if you don't believe me, listen to episode number
Speaker 1: thirty seven. I think it's thirty seven. It's definitely thirty seven.
Speaker 1: It's the season three opener. Oh yeah, Now before you go,
Speaker 1: I want you to stop for a second and before
Speaker 1: you exit out of whatever streaming service you are using
Speaker 1: to listen to this, I would love for you to
Speaker 1: stop for a moment, like I said, And if you
Speaker 1: haven't already done so, look for the subscribe or follow
Speaker 1: button click on it. If that is in fact the
Speaker 1: option on the streaming service where you are listening, then
Speaker 1: I want you to go on over to Instagram and
Speaker 1: follow me at hand Me My Purse Underscore podcast. You
Speaker 1: can also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore Podcasts,
Speaker 1: and on Facebook just search for hand Me My Purse.
Speaker 1: The podcast show notes are always available at hand Me
Speaker 1: My Purse dot buzzsprout dot com and they're also available
Speaker 1: on whatever streaming service that you are using to listen.
Speaker 1: And it should always include the links that I say
Speaker 1: I'm going to include during the episode, and sometimes it's
Speaker 1: even some extras that I don't mention that I'm going
Speaker 1: to put in there, so just make sure you check
Speaker 1: those out. Also, just an fyi, the opening and closing
Speaker 1: music is provided by none other than What's Baltimore's own
Speaker 1: very talented gloomy Tunes. If you would love too, and
Speaker 1: I would love it if you did. Please submit your
Speaker 1: questions for the straight fact segment to Hello at hand
Speaker 1: Me My Purse dot com or send me a DM
Speaker 1: on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question may be
Speaker 1: featured on an upcoming show. And I don't ever want
Speaker 1: you to forget. You can expect a brand new episode
Speaker 1: of hand Me My Purse the podcast on the first
Speaker 1: and fifteenth of every single month, so the same way
Speaker 1: you expected those checks on the first and the fifteenth
Speaker 1: early in the morning. You already know your girl is
Speaker 1: gonna have you covered on those days again the first
Speaker 1: and fifteenth of every month on your podcast streaming services
Speaker 1: such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are for my
Speaker 1: international friends and ken and anywhere else you may even
Speaker 1: think that you can find it, or you can just
Speaker 1: go straight to my bus route website and find it there.
Speaker 1: I look forward to you, looking forward to listening, and
Speaker 1: I'm out this bitch.