1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: I think as a woman, especially as we've seen in 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: the world, we are not equal to men. We don't 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,239 Speaker 1: have autonomy over our bodies. And so it for me 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: using my platform right now to be like, let me 5 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: be the boldest I can be, even if people are 6 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 1: a little taken aback. I hope it just helps other women. Hey, everyone, 7 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast 8 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: in the world. Thanks to each and every one of 9 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: And I am so excited to be talking to you today. 11 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: I can't believe it. My new book Eight Rules of 12 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: Love is out and I cannot wait to share it 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: with you. I am so so excited for you to 14 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: read this book, for you to listen to this book. 15 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, 16 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: make sure you go to eight Rules of Love dot com. 17 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or 18 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: let go of love. So if you've got friends that 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you 21 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: to come and see me for my global tour. Love Rules. 22 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: Go to ja shettytour dot com to learn more information 23 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: see you this year. Now, this happens now and again. 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: But there's someone that I've been following, admiring from afar 26 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: and then you see they follow you, and you just go, 27 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: I need to I want to connect with this human 28 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: and I want to get to know them and someone 29 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: that when you watch their content, you feel like you 30 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: already know them. And a few moments I've spent with her, 31 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: just as she'd been walking into the studio, I already 32 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: felt like at a connection with her. And there's a 33 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: really beautiful, warm hug and just like this really positive feeling. 34 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: But this is someone who has dominated as an entrepreneur, 35 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: being extremely successful as a businessperson, an incredible host and interviewers, 36 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: someone who is so multi talented across the board, whether 37 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: it's being author and take on camera, off camera, editing, creating, 38 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: I mean the works. And I'm speaking about the one 39 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: and only Alex Cooper, creator, host and executive producer of 40 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 1: the Hugely Successful, which is an understatement. The podcast brand 41 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: called Caller her Daddy. Alex is one of the most 42 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: listened to female podcasters in the world with millions of 43 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: listeners per episodes, and Alex continues to break all boundaries 44 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: by shattering stigmas and stomping on misogyny, all while keeping 45 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: mental health and personal empowerment at the forefront. And that's 46 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: what really drew me into her work was when I 47 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: started to see her talk about mental health and wellbeing 48 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: and habits. I was just blown away, and I was like, 49 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: we have to make this happen for our on Purpose 50 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: community and to the millions of devoted gen Z and 51 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: millennial listeners. The Daddy Gang, the Caller Heat which I'm 52 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: a part of. The Caller Daddy brand represents a new 53 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: set of values and standards and in addition to Alex 54 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: has a successful merchandise line as well as several exciting 55 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: businesses and endeavors in the pipeline which I can't wait 56 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,360 Speaker 1: to discuss. Alex, Welcome to On Purpose. Thank you so 57 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: much for having me. I need to make that like 58 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: my alarm clock every morning of like just like really 59 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,399 Speaker 1: hype myself up. Oh my god, you are so good 60 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: at doing those intros. No, well, it's part of like 61 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: this culture that I adopted through living as a monk, 62 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: and it was just when you met someone or when 63 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: you introduce people. It was always part of the culture 64 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: to like genuinely feel all with who you're in front 65 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: of and to genuinely take in what they've done, because 66 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: a helps you feel more grateful when you're with them. 67 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: I feel very grateful to be with you today. I 68 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: feel more inspired, I feel like I can learn, I 69 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: feel curious, and I feel often at least from the 70 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: culture I grew up, and we always played people down, 71 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: like we always kind of like thought, oh, well, we 72 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: don't want to say this stuff about them, But I 73 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: actually thought you have a worse conversation because then you think, well, 74 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: what do I have to learn from this person? Or 75 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: this person is probably going to be up themselves, so 76 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: what am I gonna get? Yeah, that's actually that's a 77 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: great concept because I always think I feel like with 78 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: social media people now everyone millennial gen z, everyone's like 79 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,839 Speaker 1: we're all egotistical, and so sometimes you try to downplay 80 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: what you're doing. But it's actually such a great concept 81 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: that you're taking a complete different spin. You're like, let's 82 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: actually embrace our successes and everything we're doing and embrace 83 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: it and enjoy it. Rather than feel shamed and like 84 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: want to be hush hush about it, or on the 85 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: other side, don't be jealous of someone if they're thriving 86 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: and like because you can learn from them. Like I'm 87 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: so excited to sit across from you today because I'm 88 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 1: like Jay Shaddy, like, let's get into it, because I'm 89 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: I'm geeking. I'm a huge fan. What you're doing is 90 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: so incredible. I listen to your podcast, and I don't 91 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: listen to many, but I'm very excited and humbled to 92 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: be here, so think, oh, that's the biggest compliment. I 93 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: had no idea. So now I'm like blushing if you're listening, 94 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: and I have to tell you this because I just 95 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: love people knowing this and I really appreciate it coming 96 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: from you. But I have a rule that whenever we 97 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: bring on a new team, then but when I'm one 98 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: of the questions I asked them in the interview is 99 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: who would you love as a guest of on purpose? 100 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: Like who would that person be? But then Helena, who's 101 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: our podcast producer, it was you, and she was just 102 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: like yeah, and I was like, she's already scheduled, So 103 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: I love it. Daddy Gang Daddy Yang Daddy and Daddy ganging, 104 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: and so it was just this beautiful feeling where she 105 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I love Alex cute and I was like, 106 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: we've already got She's coming on the show, like it 107 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: was already happening. So yeah, So anyway, you have a 108 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: lot of love in our community for you. We're all 109 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: big fans. But but let's dive straight into it. For me, 110 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: when I'm observing someone like you looking from the outside in, 111 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: I think one of the things that fascinates me is like, 112 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: you know, what's someone interested in behind the camera. I 113 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: just saw you in Italy. Me and my wife were 114 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: so jealous and fomowing because we just go to Italy 115 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: every summer when we lived in London. We're both born 116 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 1: and raised in London. What was your favorite thing about Italy? 117 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: The food? The pasta. I have never been. I rarely 118 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: take like big vacations like that, and I was so 119 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: excited to just try the pasta. I grew up in Pennsylvania, 120 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: and so you know, I don't know if we're like 121 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: running to the fish department in Pennsylvania, You're like, oh, 122 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: what can we eat? So it was kind of like Italian, 123 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,719 Speaker 1: but it was kind of bad Italian, sorry to everyone 124 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania and so, but I've always loved Carbs and 125 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,159 Speaker 1: I was an athlete, so I'm like, when I get there, 126 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: it was breakfast, lunch, dinner, pasta, let's go, dessert, pasta, 127 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: let's go. So it was amazing. But we went to 128 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: the Amalfi Coast that was beautiful. I just felt so 129 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: fortunate to be there, and it was it was incredible. Yeah, 130 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah. I was genuinely living through your 131 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 1: stories and I was just like, oh, I want to 132 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 1: go back. I want to go back. So we're planning 133 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: next year and I'm amazing. But everyone from the US 134 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: felt like they were in Italy. This side. Everyone I know, 135 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: every single person on my Instagram was in Italy. So 136 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, great, I'm going. This is the 137 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: first year I won't have FOMO because I always see 138 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: people in these places like Abiza or you know, meek 139 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: a Nose and I've never been any of those places. 140 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 1: And I was like, this year, I'm going to Italy 141 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: and I'm doing it, and it was. It was amazing. 142 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 1: One of the things I love about you in person 143 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: that I'm observing is that you're so warm, like from 144 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: the moment you walked in so warm, Like, you know, 145 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: I love it when I always when someone gets out 146 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: of their car and they right at my home, the 147 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: first thing I want to do is hug. Then then 148 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: when I see that same energy, I'm like, this is awesome. 149 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: But one of the things people observe about you online 150 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: is that you're confident. You're very confident. On the podcast, 151 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: you're you're very confident in your stories, which is a 152 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: beautiful quality. Was young Alex confident too? I know we heard, 153 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: we've heard about like you grew up in front of 154 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: the camera with your father and like you know, so 155 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: was confidence always easy for you? And how is your 156 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: journey with confidence involved? The answer is no, absolutely not. 157 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: I It's actually been interesting because the past year I've 158 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: really started to get into this in therapy with my therapist, 159 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: and I haven't really like I've I think I've mentioned 160 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: it a couple of times to the Daddy Gang, but 161 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: I don't talk about it a lot because I'm still 162 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: kind of going through it in therapy. When I was younger, 163 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: I had a really hard time in school, not grades wise. 164 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: You know, I was a solid bee. Let's throw it 165 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: out there. Maybe I tried a little harder, we could 166 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: have gotten some maze. But I was severely bullied for 167 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: my looks. I was super, super skinny. People made fun 168 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: of me, said that like I looked like I had 169 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: an eating disorder. I had awful, awful acne to the 170 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: point where like I would beg my parents to like 171 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: let me stay home from school, and I was. It 172 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: was so bad, and I turned inward a lot, like 173 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: I never wanted my parents to know that I was 174 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: going through it because I was ashamed. It's embarrassing to 175 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: not be able to connect with your peers and also 176 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: to be I was physically bullied, like the boys would 177 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: be like, let's play a game. Her legs are so tiny, 178 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: like if we trip her, they will snap in half. 179 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: And like it was awful and I never really talked 180 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: about it. But what got me through it actually was 181 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: my dad works in sports and he's a producer, and 182 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: I remember, at like seven years old, he handed me 183 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: a camera and was like, go make something. And so 184 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: my escape from really hate. Like I hated everything about myself. 185 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: I hated my skin, my face, my hair, my teeth, 186 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,239 Speaker 1: my body, my torso, my legs. Like I could pinpoint 187 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: every single thing about myself that I hated, and it 188 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: was almost everything exterior wise, but inside I knew I 189 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: was a good person. I knew I was a good daughter. 190 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 1: I knew I was a good friend. But I felt 191 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: like it was all based on looks of why I 192 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: was getting bullied. So I turned to creating content. That's 193 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: what I was my escape. And I would go in 194 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: my basement and I would make music videos or I 195 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 1: would write scripts and make like little short films or 196 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: silent films, and I would put on wigs and put 197 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: on outfits and makeup. And it was the first time 198 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: that I truly felt safe, like I could be fully myself. Meanwhile, 199 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: I was fully alone, so I'm like, I'm like, oh, 200 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: weirdo in my basement. But it was that and soccer specifically. 201 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: I played extremely competitive soccer, and I realized why I 202 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: got I felt so safe. Also unseen in soccer because 203 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: it was all women. Can you score a goal? Like? 204 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: What are you doing? So? What are you bringing to 205 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: the team? You know? So I don't talk about that 206 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: a lot because it was actually interesting. I recently was 207 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: interviewed by the New York Times, and I don't do 208 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: a lot of interviews, and it was in a follow 209 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: up conversation we had like an hour and a half interview. 210 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 1: The reporter asked to do a follow up and somehow 211 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 1: we got on the topic of my childhood and he 212 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: and I started talking and I shared with him that 213 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: I had been bullied, and quite literally physically his demeanor, 214 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: his fate, like his jaw dropped and I could tell 215 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: he was shocked and everything that prior that hour and 216 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: a half interview I first died with him kind of 217 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: was shattered because he was like, wait, what, Like, you 218 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: were bullied? And I realized something that moment was like 219 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: the character I've created on Call Her Daddy. There's this 220 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: dichotomy of for me, the girl that was bullied and 221 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: then the girl I've created or the woman I've created 222 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: in the show. But I think a lot of people 223 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: have a hard time because everyone wants to put things 224 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: in boxes on You're standing like, there's no way Alex Cooper, 225 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: the confident Call Her Daddy girl, could have also been 226 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: bullied when she was younger. And what I've come to 227 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: realize in therapy is actually that ugly, awkward acne girl 228 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: is who started Call Her Daddy because if I had 229 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: not gone through that, there's no way I would have 230 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: started call her daddy. I remember reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers 231 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: and it was like, you've got to have ten thousand 232 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: hours to even be considered an expert. By eighth grade, 233 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: I was considered an expert in editing. I was like 234 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 1: obsessed with creating content. And so that's kind of a 235 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,600 Speaker 1: little bit of my story where I definitely struggle sometimes 236 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: to open up about it because I'm also aware on 237 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: the Internet sometimes people like you're lying, that's not true, 238 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: and it's it's I think it's hard for me because 239 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: it's still so raw, like I still haven't even fully 240 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: gone there in therapy that I don't talk about it 241 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,319 Speaker 1: a lot because I don't want to be dismissed or 242 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: questioned over something that is so personal, still really hard 243 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: for me to talk about. I guess, yeah, yeah, Well, 244 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: I want to thank you for trusting us and me 245 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: and being vulnerable, but also talking about the complexity of vulnerability. 246 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: I think we think we live at a time when 247 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: if someone is vulnerable that everyone's responsible were like, oh, 248 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 1: you know, or a people think that's why someone's doing it, 249 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: be if they don't think. Then they think you're just 250 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: being vulnerable. Sometimes it's complex to say, well, maybe it 251 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: wasn't that hard as someone's making it out. And then 252 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: there's a third where it's like, well, can we just 253 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 1: listen to someone's experience and recognize that. I think if 254 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: all of us reflect like I just realized, we have 255 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: so much in common, which I had no idea, and 256 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: if you looked at it from the outside, I don't 257 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: think people would think we have much in common at all, 258 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: which is partly why I love conversations like this, because 259 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,959 Speaker 1: I'm like, these are the conversations that bring me to life. 260 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: So I was bullied for being overweight growing up. I 261 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: was obest growing up, and so was my wife actually 262 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,719 Speaker 1: and so separately. We didn't know each other at the time, 263 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: but we were both bullied for being overweight. I was 264 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: bullied for being Indian because there meant many Indian kids 265 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: in my school and so the color of my skin 266 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: and all the rest of I was bullied for that. 267 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: And I wasn't the coolest kid in school. I was 268 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 1: a straight A student, so I was the opposite, and 269 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: it was like and it was considered dorky to be smart, 270 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: where especially where I grew up, and so I dealt 271 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: with all of that too. And so when I'm hearing 272 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,679 Speaker 1: you say that I was beaten up at school regularly, 273 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: my mom used to come defend me in school like 274 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 1: that was really embarrassing, Like and even now when people 275 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 1: are like no way like and I'm like, no, that 276 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: was my entire childhood and for me, I turned to 277 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: listening to eminem and writing music. So I did a 278 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: lot of spoken word. I used to produce music. Is 279 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: why I love word and language and just the artistry 280 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: of what you can do with words. And then when 281 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: you said you played soccer, which I know, but I'm like, 282 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: that is my first love. Like if I could be 283 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: anything in the world, it would be a professional soccer player, 284 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 1: like beyond everything. That is crazy to hear because I 285 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: agree with you, and that is why I love podcasting 286 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,079 Speaker 1: and why I love your show. My show is like 287 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,319 Speaker 1: you really have no idea what one you can connect 288 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: with someone on, empathize with someone on, or just like 289 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: learn about them. And I feel like we've gotten to 290 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: a point where we want to like discredit and call 291 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: people out and it's scary to be open and vulnerable 292 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: on the internet. And I think like almost my persona, 293 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 1: there was parts of me that I had to like 294 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 1: try to claw back what I started for Color Daddy 295 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: because it was a cold on. I need to also 296 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: like there's other parts to me other than the salacious, wild, crazy, 297 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: and I it was a great transition for me, which 298 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 1: I know we'll get to. But the bullying thing, when 299 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: you're that young and truly all that matters is pure 300 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: acceptance and you feel so alone you hate yourself. And 301 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 1: I realized recently, like I know, my persona is one thing, 302 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: and that's why I always struggle with this. I'm like, oh, 303 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: I gotta like ease my listeners in to like me 304 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: talking about this because it's a complete different side of myself. 305 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: But we all have that, right, We all of those things. 306 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: Like I remember the first time I shared this with 307 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: my mother was when I was twenty one years old 308 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: in a cab that I had been bullied and I 309 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: told her mom. In high school, I used to put 310 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 1: on three pairs of leggings, tape it to my leg, 311 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: and then put on my school pants just to hope 312 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: that everyone would think my legs were bigger. And by 313 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: the time I would have soccer practice after school. My 314 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 1: joints were in so much pain from sitting in class. 315 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: And I told my mom this quite literally as we're 316 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: pulling up to penstation. She was getting out and I 317 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: was going to keep going. I told her this as 318 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: she's getting out of the cab and she's like, Alex, 319 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: like what. And it was my defense mechanism of like, 320 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: I don't really want to talk about it, but I 321 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: need to let my mom know what I was going through. 322 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: When I look back, thank god I had. My father 323 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: has been the most supportive person in my life with 324 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: my career, and I'm so grateful for that. Like he 325 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: any moment I needed anything, he was like, let's go 326 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: find you. I want to make a green screen in 327 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: the basement and he's like, let's go to Joanne Fabrics. 328 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: Here we go, let's go to home deco, like, let's 329 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 1: go lights. Like it was. I was so fortunate to 330 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: be raised by people who support me. But I also 331 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: realized I had these like people pleasing tendencies because and 332 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: I still catch myself doing it in media, like I 333 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: just want to be liked because of my childhood, because 334 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: of feeling left out, and it's hard, and I think 335 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: comparison like my best friend was the beautiful doll baby, 336 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: perfect girl that I wanted to be. And it's like 337 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: there's so many remedies I tried to look up on 338 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: Google when I was younger of like how to like 339 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: fix your skin and how to make your legs look 340 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: bigger and is there a procedure? And it was like, 341 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: I just can't believe how much I hated myself. But 342 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: I truly don't believe I would be sitting here if 343 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: I hadn't gone through that, because I think that's the thing, 344 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: like you just said, you had no idea what I 345 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: went through. Right. Why I feel like I am half 346 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 1: decent at my job is when I sit down with people, 347 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: there is this empathetic side to me that yeah, maybe 348 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: I don't need to talk about because I don't think 349 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 1: I need to prove anything to anyone as to why 350 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 1: I'm a good friend, why I'm a good daughter and partner, 351 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:12,159 Speaker 1: But like, it really does come from feeling so alone 352 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 1: and isolated and hating yourself that in those moments when 353 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 1: I'm in my basement making and creating, I had to 354 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: find a way to love myself because I found like 355 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: this journal of mine when I was younger. Oh my god, 356 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: it's so sad, and it was like really dark thoughts 357 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: of like what if I did this would then the 358 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: kids would feel so awful, And it's like, WHOA, I 359 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 1: was really alone when I was younger, and I never 360 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 1: talked about it. And I had a friend recently that 361 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: shared similar thoughts with me, and we were best friends, 362 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: and I had no idea what she was going through, 363 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 1: and she had no idea what I was going through. 364 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: So it's it's just like a reminder of like, we 365 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: really don't know. And I know it's such an oversad thing, 366 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: but you have no idea what people are going through. 367 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: And I think, especially with social media, we can make judgments, 368 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: especially snap judgments. You see a headline, you see a picture, 369 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: but like, we have no idea what people are going through. Yeah. Absolutely, 370 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you more. And I love the 371 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: point that you're making that. And I think everyone has 372 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: it through some way. Whether it was your parents, whether 373 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 1: it was your friends, whether it was your peers. There 374 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: was someone who made you feel less than in your childhood, inadequate, incomplete, 375 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: and now we're all in our creative endeavors seeking that 376 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: completion through whatever role character, whatever it may be. And 377 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: I think people forget that half the time, the most 378 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: successful people who do the most incredible things did them 379 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: because they had this huge gap and hole to fill 380 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 1: and the world needed to fill that hole and gap, 381 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 1: only then to realize that that doesn't work either to 382 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: then have to go the other way. But sorry, you're 383 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: going to say something, No, I agree with you. It's like, 384 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 1: there's there's a reason I'm so passionate and interested in 385 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: what I'm doing. It's because, like I love connecting with people. 386 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: I love learning about people because I know that the 387 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: dicho to me of call her daddy girl versed ugly 388 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: awkward acnee girl. It's like you, you don't expect it, 389 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: and you don't really understand it until I fully explain it, 390 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: which I know I haven't explained yet. But it's when 391 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: I sit down with people. I love learning about people 392 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: because we're all going through such similar things. It may 393 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: look different, it may feel a little bit different, but depression, anxiety, happiness, love, joy, whatever, emotion, like, 394 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,360 Speaker 1: we are all human beings and we genuinely actually all 395 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 1: can connect. Every single person can connect on at least 396 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,679 Speaker 1: one thing in the world, And so I feel like 397 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: we've kind of lost that along the way, and I hope. 398 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 1: I think with shows like ours like I hope it 399 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: brings a little bit of that authentic nature back because 400 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: we're looking past like what could be inside of someone. 401 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: We're just looking on the surface level. And that, to 402 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: me is a nightmare because when I was younger, I 403 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to just take me by my looks 404 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 1: because then I wouldn't be given the time of day. Yeah, 405 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: it's incredible to hear that. I was literally having the 406 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: same conversation. I was with one my clients this morning 407 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: and we were talking about this, and he was saying 408 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,360 Speaker 1: how unrelatable his life has become now through his success 409 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 1: and everything that he's gone through. And I looked at 410 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 1: him and I was talking to him, and I said 411 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: to him that, you know, I'll be honest with you 412 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: that whether someone's rich or not famous or not, if 413 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: someone goes through a breakup, a breakup hurts the same 414 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: because none of the other stuff is medicine, Like, none 415 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: of the other stuff is the cure. So whether you 416 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 1: have fame and status and wealth or whether you don't, 417 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 1: if you go through a breakup, if you lose a parent, 418 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: if you lost your job or you missed out on 419 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: an opportunity, there is a similar amount of experience human 420 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 1: pain that you go through. And I think what you're 421 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: saying is really interesting though, Like I think you're talking 422 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: about that time. People always often ask like, or what 423 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,159 Speaker 1: advice would you give to your younger self? With you, 424 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,360 Speaker 1: I'm more interested in, like, what do you think your 425 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,640 Speaker 1: younger self would say to you now? Like if that 426 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: acne girl like saw you now as you just, what 427 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: would she say? What would you think if younger me 428 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 1: only knew, like Alex, You're you're gonna make it. You're 429 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: gonna like your dreams are gonna come true, Like you're 430 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: gonna get out of this. I remember one of the 431 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: boys I went to middle school with that bullied me, 432 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: ended up going to my college, and at that point 433 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 1: I had a little glow up okay Jay, and he 434 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: was like trying to hit on me and giving me 435 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: all this attention, and it it only made me just 436 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 1: feel actually awful because I was like, I'm the same person. 437 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: I'm the same exact person, if not like more grown 438 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 1: and obviously experienced and have a little bit more of 439 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 1: a higher IQ. At this point in my life. But 440 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 1: I'm the same person to my core, and you're only 441 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: treating me differently because I got a prescription for acutane, 442 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: got some hair dye, got my braces off, put on 443 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: some muscle because I'm playing soccer. Like it's quite literally 444 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 1: just the physical as to why you're you're acting differently 445 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: towards me. I think my younger self would look at 446 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: my older self and would not even believe it. Probably 447 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: I actually was thinking, like what would I say it 448 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,680 Speaker 1: as someone that's younger and going through this, and it's 449 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 1: like there's nothing of like walk into school that day 450 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: and stand up for yourself. It's actually like find yourself 451 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: in your alone moments because you're all you have truly 452 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 1: and so trying to get peer approval. Sure it may 453 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 1: make the moment a little bit easier, but like these 454 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: people don't actually matter. They matter to me to my 455 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: core of who they've made me, their impact on my 456 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: childhood and making me hate myself, Like it's so crazy. 457 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: I always think about before. I would say about before, 458 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: like fifth or sixth grade, we're so innocent, you have 459 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: no almost concept of even what you truly look like 460 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: or or your pure dynamic or oh boys, are looking 461 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: at me and I don't have boobs yet and my 462 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: friend does, and so I'm not on their top five. 463 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: And I know it sounds so, you know, just dumb, 464 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: and but it so means so much when you're that young. 465 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: So I look back and it's like those years where 466 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: you start especially to be judged for what you look 467 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: like when we're actually just trying to figure out inside 468 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 1: who we are. It's so problematic. I definitely think that 469 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: it affected me of what I put then. I did 470 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: put emphasis on my looks. I can talk about that 471 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,399 Speaker 1: in therapy now, like hating every single thing about myself. 472 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 1: Of course, I was like, I want to go bleach 473 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,919 Speaker 1: my hair. I want to be the girl that I 474 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 1: saw on the magazines. And then I did all of that, 475 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: and I even look back at pictures of myself when 476 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,160 Speaker 1: I took it way too far. But it was all 477 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 1: just for me to try to feel like the women 478 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: that I thought had it all, because if they looked 479 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 1: a certain way, I guess I would just tell my Also, 480 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: I would tell my younger self, like keep going down 481 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: in that basement. It sounds creepy, guys. My basement was 482 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: like finished, don't worry and leaning into your craft, because 483 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 1: in the darkest of moments, creating content actually formed who 484 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,120 Speaker 1: I am and gave me the strength to keep going, 485 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: and it made me a full whole individual in my 486 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 1: own right. And when I was getting bullied and when 487 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 1: I was going through those hard times, realizing I'm going 488 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 1: to turn my passion into my purpose, that's all I 489 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: needed to be like, Okay, let's keep going. So I 490 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: was really fortunate to find that at a young age, 491 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: but I think a lot of people do. When you're 492 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: at a young age and you are going through something 493 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,640 Speaker 1: so hard, you find that outlet, right, and everyone has 494 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: that one thing that I love this, and I'm just 495 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: fortunate enough to have made that into my career. Alex. 496 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: I love listening to you, Like, I am just so 497 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 1: happy right now because I'm like what we're hearing, and 498 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: I love what you said earlier that you're in therapy 499 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: right now, you're working through this and so you haven't 500 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: shared so much of this, but I'm just hearing so 501 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: much coherence and so much clarity, and it's so beautiful, 502 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: like hearing someone who's gone through so much pain, so 503 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,719 Speaker 1: much stress. And yes, externally there's the success, but then 504 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: to hear what's happening internally, and you've just reminded me 505 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: of a moment of my life. I'm just I remember 506 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: being at the final year of elementary school or primary 507 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 1: school as we call it in London, and there was 508 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: one girl that everyone fancied in class, and I fancied 509 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: it too, like she was the cutest girl in school. 510 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: Were like eleven years old, so whatever cute means at eleven. 511 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: I think it was the first time I'd ever liked 512 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,160 Speaker 1: a girl, and like in that way. I come late 513 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: to school one day and everyone's looking at me weird, 514 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: like everyone's really looking at me, really strange, and everyone's laughing, 515 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 1: and some of the girls like in the corner like 516 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: laughing and pointing, and I'm thinking, what happened? Like what 517 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: did I miss out? One I can't remember. I was 518 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: like maybe doctors appoint or whatever. Then I found out 519 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: that all the guys who equally fancied this girl had 520 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: told the girls that I fancied her, so not anyone 521 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: else knew apart from just me, and I was considered 522 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:57,440 Speaker 1: the ugliest, fattest kid in school, and so now she 523 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 1: knew this. All her friends were laughing, and then the 524 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: us that day. They all stood I used to be 525 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: a goalkeeper because I wasn't very athletic at the time. 526 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 1: I used to be a goal and goalkeepers are very athletic, 527 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: so no, no offense to goal give us at least 528 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: at that time when you're a kid in school. It's okay, Jay, Yeah, 529 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 1: I'm just like yeah, you know, oh my god, it's clear. 530 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 1: Just being clear. I think goal give us a very day. 531 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 1: All the way, I'm in goal and old girls are 532 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,880 Speaker 1: standing behind the goal and they're just like they're like, Jay, 533 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,119 Speaker 1: you can never get her. I can't believe you thought it. 534 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 1: She's out of your league. And they're literally the whole 535 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,439 Speaker 1: day throughout the playground, like every time we're playing football soccer, 536 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: they're just behind the goal like making fun of me. 537 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: And it's such a like, No, it makes me memory. 538 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,880 Speaker 1: It makes me honestly because I think it's it's interesting. 539 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: I even watch you. We can smile through it now, 540 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 1: but like, it honestly makes me want to cry when 541 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: I think about it because even hearing that, like I 542 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,200 Speaker 1: can picture that happening to you because it happened to me, 543 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: and it's so trauma tizing when that happens to you 544 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: and you literally are just fighting back tears and you're like, 545 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: just get through it, just get through it. And all 546 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 1: you want to do is go home. And it makes 547 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: you hate interacting, It makes you nervous, you get really 548 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 1: like clammed up, and it's it's awful. Like I remember 549 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: when I was in middle school. Also like my teachers, 550 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: I went to Catholic school, and I just like never 551 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: thought I belonged in Pennsylvania. Yea, I was like, what 552 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: am I doing here? Like I just it. I knew 553 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,159 Speaker 1: I wanted to do something that was definitely like big, 554 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: but I also knew this is a very conservative town 555 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: and we were shamed for anything regarding anything because it's Catholic. 556 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: And I remember we weren't allowed to wear makeup and 557 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: I was breaking out so bad, like it was so 558 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 1: awful this week and it was final, so I couldn't 559 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: skip school. Like I would beg my mom to let 560 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: me skip school, and she, thank god to My mother 561 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 1: would see when I was really struggling, would be like, Okay, 562 00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,479 Speaker 1: you can stay home. I put a tiny bit of 563 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:04,120 Speaker 1: concealer over some of my acne because I would sit 564 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 1: next to this kid that was like the coolest kid 565 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: in school, and I would always be so upset because 566 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000 Speaker 1: he got to see that side of my face. And 567 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 1: in front of the entire class, my teacher, I want 568 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 1: to call her out, missus G I'll just say okay, 569 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: I'm like getting there. She comes over to the entire 570 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: class and looks at me and goes, Alex, you're wearing 571 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: face makeup. Go to the bathroom and wash it off. 572 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 1: She escorted me into the bathroom, made me rub my 573 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 1: skin raw in a school bathroom, no soap, just water 574 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: scrubbing it off. My face was so red and I 575 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: remember just being like, can I go to the bathroom. 576 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 1: She's like no, get back to class and I just 577 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: trying to hold back tears and my entire face was inflamed, 578 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: and I was like, so now I'm not even experiencing 579 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: bullying from kids Like this is like how does this 580 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 1: teacher not know? And she has kids. So it was 581 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: like it was a lot, but I will say it 582 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 1: made me who I am today. I look back and 583 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, had I not gone through all of that? 584 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 1: Like I said earlier, I know who I am now. 585 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: I didn't back then. I was trying to figure it out, 586 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 1: but I know who I am now, and I know 587 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: my morals and my values, and I know that a 588 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: lot of that stems from the pain that I went through, 589 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 1: and I am a very empathetic person. Maybe I don't 590 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: show that a lot on my show, but I think 591 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 1: it's it's all relative. I'm like, Oh, if I could 592 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: go back, would I redo it? No? Maybe I would 593 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: have wished I told my parents a little bit more, 594 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 1: But still I think it made me really turn inward, 595 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: and that created a different level of strength and self 596 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: reliance that like, I can't even put into words. So 597 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: that is such a powerful point. I mean, You've made 598 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 1: so many amazing points that I'm going to be drawing 599 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: together for all listeners at the end. But like, that 600 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 1: is such a powerful point that I think, and I 601 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 1: don't want to tell people to go either way, but 602 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: there's a different strength that comes from going inward than 603 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 1: the strength that's required from asking other people for help, 604 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: and both strengths are important. Like going out and knowing 605 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: to ask your mom or your dad or your best 606 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: friend for help is extremely important, but knowing how to 607 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: go and ask yourself for help internally is equally important. 608 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: I think that is such a beautiful point I've never 609 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 1: heard it been put that way, and I love that 610 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: idea of because I feel the same way. I felt 611 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 1: so isolated and alone, and even today when I feel 612 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 1: that way sometimes, But now it's become solitude, it's become 613 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: a strength because I've got used to depending on myself 614 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 1: and i know what that feels like when I'm like, 615 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: I'm all I have, and I know what that feels like. 616 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: So now it doesn't scare me, whereas at twelve or 617 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: thirteen or fourteen it really did. I think one of 618 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 1: the things we're talking about is an evolution and identity 619 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: and awareness, and this has been something that I've struggled 620 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: with as things have become more public as well, because 621 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 1: so I went from being that kid that was bullied 622 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,719 Speaker 1: to being fairly in with the cool kids high school, 623 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: to then going to college and being a budding spiritualist. 624 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: Like my college life, if anyone met me at college, 625 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,239 Speaker 1: they'd be like, Jay was like nice and loving and 626 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 1: spiritual and mindful and all these things that I was practicing. 627 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,479 Speaker 1: If you spoke to my high school friends, they'd be like, 628 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 1: Jay was a party animal, he drank too much, he 629 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: was crazy, Like he was the class clown. Like he 630 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 1: tormented teachers, like that was my reputation, and so you 631 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 1: get this complete dichotomy. And I feel like every transition 632 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,719 Speaker 1: my external life took, I saw it as an opportunity 633 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: to become who I wanted to be. So as I 634 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: left high school, I wanted to become this mindful, thoughtful individual, 635 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: and that's what I was at college, and then I 636 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: went off to be a monk, which was a whole 637 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 1: different external identity. Left that and now obviously doing all 638 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: of this for the past few years, and so many 639 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 1: more in between. But the point is that I've given 640 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 1: myself permission to accept that I am the same and 641 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: different person all at the same time. So beautiful, right, 642 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 1: And I've given myself that permission even when other people haven't. 643 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 1: And I feel like I'm constantly going through that where 644 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 1: I did used to be a monk, I'm not now, 645 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 1: I'm married, I have a home, I have businesses, I 646 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: have money. Like life has changed, but there are parts 647 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: of being a monk that are still me. There's still there. 648 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: I still think like a monk, and there's parts of 649 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: my lifestyle that is still like a monk. There parts 650 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 1: that are not so coming back to you You've also 651 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: been on an evolution of identities. We've just talked about 652 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: a very clear one. You then have the beginning of 653 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: the podcast, which is very well documented. It's all there. 654 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to dive into it, and that part 655 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 1: of the journey's there, and then now it becomes another 656 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: label where it's like Spotify sixty like it just it 657 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: becomes so like diluted to a number and a brand 658 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 1: and you can go wherever you want to go with this. 659 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 1: But the question I'm asking is what has been the 660 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: hardest part of that evolution for you to where you 661 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: are now? And what do you think people misinterpret about 662 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: that evolution. It is difficult because I feel, especially as 663 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 1: a woman in the industry, I have to tiptoe on 664 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 1: not being overly confident, like I think women can all 665 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: feel it. Don't be too much of this, always veer 666 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: on the side of just be quiet. Well, I've got 667 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 1: a podcast that's a little bit difficult, right, So I 668 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: definitely have struggled with the person and who I've become 669 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: is confident, and I want to embody this confident and 670 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 1: determined badass CEO running my life that any woman could 671 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: do what I'm doing. Right in whatever aspect they want 672 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: to do it in their life and whatever their passion is. 673 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: But it is difficult when then I walk into board 674 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: meetings or meetings with these men that and I'm like, 675 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 1: I'm telling you what I want, And I feel like 676 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 1: if a man was sitting here, it would be a 677 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: very different conversation. If anything, he'd be going light. And 678 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: so I've struggled with why am I always called the 679 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 1: female Joe Rogan is? Does anyone compare say, oh, Joe 680 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: Rogan's the male Alex Cooper. No, we have similar numbers, 681 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 1: We've really loyal audiences. We both are with Spotify like 682 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,719 Speaker 1: and no shade to Joe. I'm actually just saying it's 683 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: frustrating that it is a dequalifier. It's putting me comparing me. 684 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,759 Speaker 1: It's not even comparing me. They're just saying like, oh, 685 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: she's basically him. But like, as a woman, I don't 686 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: want to be compared to anyone, and I don't. It's 687 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: been hard for me to do it in a way 688 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,320 Speaker 1: that yeah, I'm not coming off as like angry and mad, 689 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,280 Speaker 1: and I think there has been times where I feel 690 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 1: like I can't be all in business mode at times 691 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 1: as I want to be because I'm as a woman, 692 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,280 Speaker 1: going to be labeled and it's like, no, I actually 693 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,600 Speaker 1: just know what I want. And I'm a boss and 694 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: I am running a huge company and I have so 695 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: much going on and I don't want to waste anyone's time, 696 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: and I know what I want. What a concept, So 697 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: I think I think that is something that people have 698 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,320 Speaker 1: misinterpreted also on the Internet of like, oh, she comes 699 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: off so like I don't know if I don't even 700 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,839 Speaker 1: know if it's aggressive, Like I think as a woman, 701 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,760 Speaker 1: especially even if I don't know what I want, pretend 702 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: I know what I want. Because we're at a time 703 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: where as we've seen in the world, we are not 704 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,400 Speaker 1: equal to men. We don't have autonomy over our bodies. 705 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: And so it for me using my platform right now 706 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,120 Speaker 1: to be like, let me be the boldest I can be, 707 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: even if people are a little taken aback. I hope 708 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: it just helps other women be like I'm going to 709 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,239 Speaker 1: go in today and advocate for myself to my boss 710 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,840 Speaker 1: or I'm going to stand up to that parton because 711 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,280 Speaker 1: it's like we're getting nowhere if we don't keep shoving 712 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: it forward a little bit. And I've gotten at times 713 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: a little nervous, and I'm like, I could just sit 714 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 1: and do my interviews and stay quiet, but that's not 715 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 1: for who I've been. I've always had an opinion. I'm 716 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:58,359 Speaker 1: a leo. Okay, I know what I want, but it 717 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: is hard because it's it's like, I think there's a 718 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 1: lot of people that are a little skeptical of a 719 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 1: really and I hate when people say loud. Am I 720 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,239 Speaker 1: talking that loud? No? People actually so loud? I'm like, 721 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 1: am I loud? Or am I just speaking about something 722 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,839 Speaker 1: that maybe you don't want to hear because you don't 723 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 1: like change and we need change. So that's something that 724 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,799 Speaker 1: I'm currently working on therapy. I don't think I've ever done. 725 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna clap on the podcast. I don't think I've 726 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,200 Speaker 1: ever done this, but any I'm just gonna clap. I'm 727 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,920 Speaker 1: gonna take a moment to glad and there should be 728 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 1: more people coughing. Hello, tried it. I need some come 729 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 1: on home. Go Oh my god, no im And I'm 730 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,080 Speaker 1: genuinely never we've never done that, Like this is that 731 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: only time the first time that we'vened. I really mean 732 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,160 Speaker 1: that everything you just said, like it's so true I'm 733 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: totally aligned with you. I can only look at it 734 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,920 Speaker 1: from the perspective that I grew up with a powerhouse 735 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:59,280 Speaker 1: mom who worked, cooked, raised me and my younger sister, 736 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 1: provided for us both when my dad was figuring his 737 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: life out. My mom was the breadwinner in the house. 738 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 1: She was the one who helped me with my homework. 739 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,600 Speaker 1: She taught me how to shave, like, like, that's literally 740 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,440 Speaker 1: who my mom was in my life. And so I 741 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: grew up seeing the most powerful woman in the world 742 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,840 Speaker 1: in my opinion as a young boy, and like my 743 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: mom would take me to all our meetings at night, 744 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,319 Speaker 1: whatever whatever needed to happen. And then I was kind 745 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 1: of like an older like a father figure to my 746 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,439 Speaker 1: younger sister. And so I've seen it in her too, 747 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,400 Speaker 1: and I've seen like the stuff she's gone through it 748 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 1: at work and wherever it maybe, so I can only 749 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: empathize from that perspective. But when I'm listening to you speak, 750 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like, it's sad that we're still there, Like 751 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: it just pains me. I'm like, how can we still 752 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,439 Speaker 1: be there? And how can we still be stuck there? 753 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,880 Speaker 1: And I want to dive into the gender part with 754 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,799 Speaker 1: you because I do think it's it's important that we 755 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,799 Speaker 1: talk about it here. I deal with that in a 756 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 1: different way, and I've never talked about this either, But 757 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,160 Speaker 1: I feel like we're both in yea, yeah, yeah. And 758 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,239 Speaker 1: it's also like I feel understood with you, and I 759 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 1: also know that you're because you interviewed. You just such 760 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: an exceptional job at it. It's like I feel like 761 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 1: I'm getting to like open up my heart interviewing. I'm 762 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 1: like opening up my heart to you. But no, I 763 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,080 Speaker 1: mean in the sense of so I often get perceived 764 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,400 Speaker 1: as like, well, Jay, you're a monk and you're mindful, 765 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,960 Speaker 1: so you're not allowed to be driven and ambitious. So 766 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,759 Speaker 1: if I have goals in a business meeting or a 767 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 1: PR meeting or whatever it may be, it's like, oh, 768 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 1: but Jay, like, you shouldn't have goals, right, I'm like, wait, 769 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,840 Speaker 1: I both Yeah? Can I not be both? Am I 770 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: not allowed to be both? Like? And so people are 771 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 1: constantly like but Jay like, And it's like if if 772 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: we reach for something and I've you know, I come 773 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,280 Speaker 1: from a background of I was straight a's, I worked 774 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,800 Speaker 1: in the corporate world, I'm highly organized, I'm a high performer. 775 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,440 Speaker 1: It comes naturally to me, and that's me. And then 776 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 1: I was a monk, and I have the meditative side 777 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,320 Speaker 1: and a meditive for two hours a day, and I 778 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,239 Speaker 1: wake up early and take cold showers and all that 779 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,839 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. But it's like, to me, I've tried 780 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,440 Speaker 1: to put both together to create this real world because 781 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,359 Speaker 1: the one makes me happy without the other. So I 782 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,640 Speaker 1: get the perception of Jay. How can you be mindful 783 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,600 Speaker 1: and driven? How can you be ambitious and meditate? How can? 784 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,560 Speaker 1: And I'm like, but that's what we should be encouraging 785 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: people to be. Like. I feel like it's because we 786 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:21,239 Speaker 1: have gotten so comfortable putting things in boxes. And I 787 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: love that you're saying that because it reminds me. This is, 788 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,319 Speaker 1: I think, such a relatable topic. Take me and my 789 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 1: deal and my podcast and being a public figure out 790 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,440 Speaker 1: of it. You mentioned something about how you are these 791 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,879 Speaker 1: different stages of your life, and I feel like it's 792 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,880 Speaker 1: so normal and healthy, honestly to progress and almost be 793 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: different people of your versions of yourself and try things out. 794 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 1: I remember in high school when I was a little 795 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,279 Speaker 1: bit more now secure with my looks okay, and I 796 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,080 Speaker 1: was now the jock, I was on the soccer team, 797 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,800 Speaker 1: I was a freshman. I was thriving with my soccer girls. 798 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,360 Speaker 1: They were like big on campus, and I was still 799 00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:01,719 Speaker 1: obsessed with making content right. I was so embarrassed that 800 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 1: I was in the video production class because people that 801 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,400 Speaker 1: my video production professor, God bless him, he was I 802 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,680 Speaker 1: guess people would consider like a little nerdy and a 803 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,920 Speaker 1: little too techy. And I was like, I am so 804 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,319 Speaker 1: honored to be his student and teach, like, have him 805 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,240 Speaker 1: teach me. He would. We would watch movies after class 806 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,840 Speaker 1: and like not in a creepyway, but he was educating 807 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,600 Speaker 1: me on film and before me too. We would watch 808 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,920 Speaker 1: Alfred Hitchcock. I remember the first time he showed me Psycho. 809 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,399 Speaker 1: And so I was learning. But I lied to my 810 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 1: peers because so my mom. I convinced my mom, please, 811 00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: can we go in and talk to the dean of students. 812 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,120 Speaker 1: I want to do video production. For all four years 813 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,000 Speaker 1: as my elective, I never took health, which is interesting, 814 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 1: never learned about sex education. Okay, so interesting, But I 815 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: remember people being like, why are you in that video 816 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,080 Speaker 1: production class for all four years? Is just so weird? 817 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 1: And I was embarrassed and I lied and I was like, 818 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 1: I don't know like they think I'm good at it, 819 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,719 Speaker 1: so like whatever, I don't have to take health at 820 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 1: least like whatever, I downplay it. I was so passionate. 821 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 1: I loved it more than soccer. It was literally my existence. 822 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,960 Speaker 1: It felt like that is why I'm here, This is 823 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,399 Speaker 1: what I'm meant to do. But I was so embarrassed 824 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 1: because I couldn't be a jock and also a tech girl, 825 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: like a tech geek or whatever they would call me, 826 00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,760 Speaker 1: And so I tried to hide that part of myself. 827 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of people do that, 828 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,040 Speaker 1: even hearing you say that, like why can't you be 829 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:31,399 Speaker 1: mindful and also determined? And it's like, I actually think 830 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: that is the such a beautiful human being. When you 831 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: can combine all the different parts of yourself to all 832 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,880 Speaker 1: be in a somewhat cohesive working situation, it works so 833 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,839 Speaker 1: much better for your mental health. We shouldn't all just 834 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,480 Speaker 1: be narrow minded. We shouldn't just have one thing that 835 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 1: we're focused on. Are you do you have a relationship? 836 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: Are you a good friend? You don't act like you 837 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,959 Speaker 1: to your romantic partner like you do to your friend? 838 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,719 Speaker 1: What about are you a good son a daughter of Like? 839 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 1: It all is in the scheme of being humans, we 840 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 1: have to have multidimensional parts of ourselves, but something about 841 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,520 Speaker 1: being in a box. It doesn't work, Jay, if you're 842 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,560 Speaker 1: both of those, because it can't be true. Well why not? 843 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,080 Speaker 1: And I think just talking about it anyone listening, you 844 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: should not veer away from a passion because it doesn't 845 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,439 Speaker 1: align with something other publicly that you're doing, because it's 846 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:25,319 Speaker 1: like almost a contradiction. I love a contradiction. That is 847 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,840 Speaker 1: what I do. On my should they're like, well you 848 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,560 Speaker 1: said this last week, I changed my mind this week 849 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 1: and not in like okay, Alex, Well, we can't believe 850 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: anything you say, but things change and things shift. But 851 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 1: we have to be cognizant of how we're embracing different 852 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,600 Speaker 1: parts of ourselves because if we try to not do 853 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,600 Speaker 1: that and just stay in one lane, we're not going 854 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: to grow, we're not going to be happy with ourselves, 855 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 1: and we're just going to be appeasing the people around 856 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,560 Speaker 1: us instead of what do we want. I appreciate you 857 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,160 Speaker 1: sharing that because I think it's a really relatable thing 858 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 1: of like, how can I be both? Of course you 859 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,720 Speaker 1: can be both, it's just society has made us feel like, well, 860 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,920 Speaker 1: your opposer. You can't be both which one isn't a 861 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:08,920 Speaker 1: true They're both true about Clay. These are all tech talks, 862 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 1: like it's just one after the other after the other. No, no, No, 863 00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,960 Speaker 1: you're inspiring me. No, I'm just I hope it's okay. 864 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I'm opening up because I just 865 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 1: feel like the stuff we're talking about is is relatable 866 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,080 Speaker 1: in different ways, right, Like I don't know what it 867 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:25,759 Speaker 1: feels like to be a woman in the industry. I 868 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 1: never will, I will never be able to be Like 869 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: I get that, I totally know what you mean, but 870 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 1: I get what I'm feeling in the same expression of 871 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 1: sometimes I feel told to be quiet. Sometimes I feel 872 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,600 Speaker 1: told to be like, well, Jay, you shouldn't have that desire, 873 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: Like I'm told to like calm down sometimes not because 874 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,080 Speaker 1: I'm aggressive in any way, but in the sense of 875 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 1: just because I'm a driven, ambitious person. So going back 876 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 1: to what you were saying earlier, there's a part of 877 00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 1: it where it sounds like especially and I love what 878 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,759 Speaker 1: you said, like it's not about it's not about what 879 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,960 Speaker 1: Joe's doing, it's not about anyone doing It's just why 880 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,440 Speaker 1: does everything have to be a comparison, and that then 881 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 1: starts to be a respect issue, right. It starts to 882 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,839 Speaker 1: be an issue in like are we giving enough respect 883 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 1: to what you've achieved and what you've built in the 884 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,800 Speaker 1: same way as are we giving respect to anyone else 885 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:19,520 Speaker 1: for what they've achieved and what they've built? What has 886 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,760 Speaker 1: been your relationship? Like with respect, it's hard because there's 887 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 1: a couple dimensions to it. Right, My listeners quite literally, 888 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,520 Speaker 1: and I know the sounds corny, but like truly feel 889 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,360 Speaker 1: like an extension of myself, Like we have an understanding, 890 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 1: we have talked about the most deep in depth, maybe 891 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:45,200 Speaker 1: taboo topics, uncomfortable topics. And I'm when I meet the 892 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,879 Speaker 1: Daddy Gang, shout out everyone listening to Daddy Gang. When 893 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 1: I meet the Daddy Gang out in person, I always 894 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,279 Speaker 1: joke because whenever I'm with anyone, they come up to me, 895 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,400 Speaker 1: they're like, oh my god, Alex. I'm like, Hi, what's up? 896 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,000 Speaker 1: And they're like okay, and they start talking and the 897 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 1: person that's with me that's my friend or my parent whatever, 898 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 1: They're like, oh, who is that from college or high school? 899 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that's Daddy Gang. But we had it. 900 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,920 Speaker 1: You guys just started talking about her break like what 901 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 1: we have this understanding of like if you listen to 902 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,160 Speaker 1: Call Her Daddy, and I'm sure you have that with 903 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,160 Speaker 1: your audience, like you build such a report. The respect 904 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,239 Speaker 1: I have for the Daddy Gang and my listeners and 905 00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,280 Speaker 1: people that give me a chance, it is so mutual 906 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,880 Speaker 1: and it is so beautiful, and I can't still to 907 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,719 Speaker 1: this same believe what has been built of Call Her 908 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 1: Daddy and the Daddy Gang and my relationship with them, 909 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,560 Speaker 1: and there's with me. I think where it becomes a 910 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: little bit of a struggle is in the beginning of 911 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: Call Her Daddy. It was this beautiful storm, right, a 912 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 1: female lead podcast working at Barstool Sports, which people are like, oh, 913 00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,480 Speaker 1: is that a misogynistic company? And it was like actually 914 00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,960 Speaker 1: the perfect storm of like, oh, I'm a woman and 915 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to have the biggest show at Barstool Sports. 916 00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 1: Watch me dance, okay, And it was like this really 917 00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 1: cool challenge. But I think because of the nature of 918 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,120 Speaker 1: the content at the beginning of Call Her Daddy, it's 919 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,960 Speaker 1: difficult because I am in no way, shape or form. 920 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,400 Speaker 1: I wouldn't change one thing about the beginning of that show. 921 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 1: It was so provocative and in your face and women 922 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,239 Speaker 1: needed it. At the time, it was like, oh, instead 923 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,439 Speaker 1: of because I think the feminist movement has had many 924 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,120 Speaker 1: different forms, right, it continues to change and evolve, And 925 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,000 Speaker 1: at that point, as someone who had just graduated college, 926 00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,880 Speaker 1: I was everyone can be a feminist, right, and you 927 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,520 Speaker 1: can have a different version of how you associate it 928 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,040 Speaker 1: with it. But as long as you believe in the 929 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 1: equality of the sexes, boom okay and you respect women, great. 930 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,120 Speaker 1: But for me, it was like, if men can say 931 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,919 Speaker 1: it to us, let's say it right back. And they're 932 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,640 Speaker 1: not going to like it, and it's going to be 933 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,399 Speaker 1: really uncomfortable, but let's go for it. And I think 934 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,279 Speaker 1: a lot of people loved it. No, I know a 935 00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,000 Speaker 1: lot of people loved it. The show blew up and 936 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 1: it was controversial and it was amazing. My struggle was 937 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 1: being so proud of what I built, but also we 938 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,359 Speaker 1: just talked about that box of like, but I kind 939 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,759 Speaker 1: of want to talk about other stuff too, and I 940 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 1: felt like I got pigeonholed into this, like that's the 941 00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:13,440 Speaker 1: girl that talks about sex and dating. And it was 942 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:18,120 Speaker 1: really difficult for me to respect and acknowledge what had 943 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:22,640 Speaker 1: been built, and it is like brilliant what call her 944 00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:26,800 Speaker 1: daddy original days was. But I also now I'm twenty 945 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 1: eight and I started it at twenty two, twenty three. 946 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,200 Speaker 1: I don't want to be the same person I was 947 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 1: at twenty two. I'm not. I have a different outlook 948 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,760 Speaker 1: on life. I have a greater interest in what's happening 949 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,800 Speaker 1: in the world, in making a difference. Are you kidding me? 950 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 1: Out of twenty two, I was like, let's drink, let's 951 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,400 Speaker 1: talk about sex, and let's have fun. And that was 952 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,239 Speaker 1: so and that's what you should be doing right at 953 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,880 Speaker 1: that age. But now as I've tried to transition the show, 954 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,120 Speaker 1: not because, and I want to clarify, no one has 955 00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:56,320 Speaker 1: told me to do this. I made the decision because 956 00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,960 Speaker 1: two things happened in the pandemic. I think when you 957 00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:03,400 Speaker 1: talk about something like sex and people are so freaked 958 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:07,880 Speaker 1: out by that concept and a little nervous too. I 959 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,000 Speaker 1: remember back in the day engaged with the brand because 960 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,480 Speaker 1: it was like, oh, they talking about sex. That is 961 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,760 Speaker 1: one of the most intimate topics that you can really 962 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:22,600 Speaker 1: talk about, and a universally inclusive topic. Right, we all 963 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,560 Speaker 1: think about it in some capacity, right. I felt like, 964 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,520 Speaker 1: if I can talk that deeply and that openly, and 965 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,919 Speaker 1: that vulnerably on this platform to millions of people still 966 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,759 Speaker 1: in therapy about that. Why was I so okay doing that? 967 00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,640 Speaker 1: We're working on it, okay. But the point is is 968 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,399 Speaker 1: if I can do that, my audience was ready when 969 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:44,520 Speaker 1: the pandemic hit. We need you to talk about some 970 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,400 Speaker 1: other stuff because none of us are enjoying our sex 971 00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,200 Speaker 1: life right now. But we trust you enough, Alex. Let's 972 00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,040 Speaker 1: have deeper conversations. And that is when I began talking 973 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,279 Speaker 1: about mental health. And that is when I opened up 974 00:48:55,320 --> 00:49:00,200 Speaker 1: and acknowledged I'm in therapy and the stigma around therapy. Well, 975 00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:01,920 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people is what's wrong with you? 976 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,760 Speaker 1: My mother is a psychologist. I grew up where mental 977 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,400 Speaker 1: health was the number one prerequisite in the house of 978 00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,359 Speaker 1: how's your mental health, what's going on in your head? 979 00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,960 Speaker 1: Where are you at? So I think that transition for 980 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 1: call Her Daddy, for me felt so organic. It was like, 981 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,040 Speaker 1: of course, we got to talk about more stuff. It's like, 982 00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,759 Speaker 1: eventually you graduate from high school, you got to go 983 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,359 Speaker 1: to college or algebra one. We go to Algebra two. 984 00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,840 Speaker 1: Like call Her Daddy is cemented as one of the 985 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,480 Speaker 1: best sex and relationship podcasts. There's eighty episodes. It is fire. 986 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,000 Speaker 1: You can learn some amazing tricks of the trade. Okay, 987 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,279 Speaker 1: but what's next? And I could feel my audience ready 988 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,919 Speaker 1: for something new, and I was ready for something new. 989 00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to explore other topics, not that I'm not 990 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 1: going to continue to talk about those things, and that 991 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,839 Speaker 1: I think was a difficult transition that some people that 992 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 1: don't want change. Not my audience. My audience not only 993 00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,160 Speaker 1: stayed with me, but then grew because people were like, oh, 994 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,959 Speaker 1: we're spicing up a little bit. There's more topics, there's 995 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,840 Speaker 1: more conversations, just not about sex. But I saw people 996 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 1: that didn't like the show in the beginning. They're like, Nope, 997 00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,960 Speaker 1: you're still the sex girl. You cannot be talking about 998 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,319 Speaker 1: mental health and talking about sex. You can't tell me 999 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,960 Speaker 1: you're talking about sex in a deep, deep conversation that 1000 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,000 Speaker 1: has to do with mental health, or you're not getting 1001 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,120 Speaker 1: deep enough because well, no pun intended. But when I 1002 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:19,840 Speaker 1: talk about that, it's like what we're going through in 1003 00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:24,600 Speaker 1: the world right now with sexual identity and fluidity and 1004 00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,920 Speaker 1: trying to understand. I mean, it's so beautiful now that 1005 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,960 Speaker 1: we've started to embrace the concept of non binary, and 1006 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,040 Speaker 1: it's like letting people do what they feel comfortable doing. 1007 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,640 Speaker 1: That is mental health and that is sex. Right. So 1008 00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:44,080 Speaker 1: I think the struggle of respect has been people not 1009 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:48,759 Speaker 1: loving me, venturing out and straying away from what initially 1010 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,400 Speaker 1: was the bread and butter of call Her Daddy. And 1011 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,440 Speaker 1: I have been an athlete my whole life. Jay. I 1012 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,680 Speaker 1: love a challenge. When someone tells me I can't do something, 1013 00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,080 Speaker 1: but I will not lie. It has been so hard, 1014 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:08,360 Speaker 1: like trying to stay true to myself, authentic to the content, 1015 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,759 Speaker 1: but also knowing and cognizant of the fact that there 1016 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,879 Speaker 1: are people that are like, she's still sex. She it's 1017 00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:18,080 Speaker 1: just sex, and I'm like, what, And so it's a 1018 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,040 Speaker 1: difficult balance. But I've tried to just block out the noise, 1019 00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,600 Speaker 1: not read as many of the comments. And now I 1020 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,640 Speaker 1: think through the new kind of version of the show, 1021 00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,359 Speaker 1: it's so cool that I've taken on these interviews and 1022 00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,759 Speaker 1: kind of like going back to what we kind of 1023 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,880 Speaker 1: said in the beginning, I'm having on these celebrity guests 1024 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,080 Speaker 1: that everyone's like, oh, you're gonna have on celebrities now, 1025 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,160 Speaker 1: But the point was, and it goes back to what 1026 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 1: we were saying earlier. I love this challenge of like 1027 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 1: you're gonna leave and you will relate to Demilovado, you 1028 00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,520 Speaker 1: will relate to Miley Cyrus, you will relate to Chelsea Handler. 1029 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,560 Speaker 1: Like these people that are coming on that seems so 1030 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,799 Speaker 1: their life is so unattainable. No, we can relate to them. 1031 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 1: And I've been fortunate that this new format, and I 1032 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,000 Speaker 1: think through my therapy journey and just because I know 1033 00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,760 Speaker 1: myself and I am a warm person, I am so 1034 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,880 Speaker 1: interested in people's lives. I want to understand people better. 1035 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,640 Speaker 1: It makes me better, it makes my audience better. Almost 1036 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:19,280 Speaker 1: every single time a guest leaves call her Daddy, they say, Wow, 1037 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:24,200 Speaker 1: I have never felt so comfortable in an interview, and 1038 00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:25,840 Speaker 1: I've never opened up as much as I did in 1039 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:30,040 Speaker 1: this interview. And I take pride in that because I 1040 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,760 Speaker 1: put a lot of effort into making people feel comfortable. 1041 00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,360 Speaker 1: Because when you're talking about really really intense topics like 1042 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,200 Speaker 1: we're talking about today, you need to be open minded. 1043 00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,120 Speaker 1: You need to come into an unbiased and you need 1044 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,120 Speaker 1: to provide a space where it's like you're safe, let's 1045 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,880 Speaker 1: have a conversation and no judgment. And I think a 1046 00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of these celebrities feel listen, they there is no denying. 1047 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,759 Speaker 1: We're not saying they don't have privilege, and they don't 1048 00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:58,200 Speaker 1: have so many resources we don't have. But it's trying 1049 00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,560 Speaker 1: to humanize, and I think in a cool way. My 1050 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 1: listeners have loved the new kind of version of Call 1051 00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,000 Speaker 1: Her Daddy. And then I guess this is the last 1052 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,920 Speaker 1: part of Also, I don't plan. There's one day that 1053 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,480 Speaker 1: it's not like I need an episode like this one day, 1054 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,160 Speaker 1: and then this it's every week. I walk in and 1055 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I know who I want to 1056 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 1: interview because it feels right. And I read all the 1057 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,200 Speaker 1: dms from the Daddy Gang, and I still have all 1058 00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,279 Speaker 1: my social media accounts. No one runs the Caller Daddy 1059 00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,879 Speaker 1: account or my account, and I just read all these 1060 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,240 Speaker 1: dms of someone struggling with a narcissistic parent, and immediately 1061 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,839 Speaker 1: I'm like, let's get doctor romani on, Let's have her 1062 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,440 Speaker 1: come on, let's talk about how to survive a narcissistic 1063 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,920 Speaker 1: relationship like it ebbs and flows. I would love to 1064 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,520 Speaker 1: be like I have this perfect structure. I am eyeballing 1065 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,520 Speaker 1: it because I also am a consumer, and I'm like, 1066 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,399 Speaker 1: what am I interested in because I'm so I love 1067 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,560 Speaker 1: being in tune with my audience that I'm able to 1068 00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,640 Speaker 1: be like I know what they want because I want 1069 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,760 Speaker 1: it too. It's an ebbing and flowing relationship with respect. 1070 00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,920 Speaker 1: There's always going to be haters. There's always going to 1071 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,680 Speaker 1: be people that want me to fail. But I do 1072 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:01,040 Speaker 1: think specifically this last year, I've come really into my 1073 00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,239 Speaker 1: own of like, I want to make amazing content for 1074 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:04,759 Speaker 1: the people that want to listen. And if you don't 1075 00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,719 Speaker 1: want to listen, you don't have to listen. But I 1076 00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,719 Speaker 1: always do say give a chance because you will be 1077 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,839 Speaker 1: surprised at the new collar Daddy. It's different, and I'm 1078 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,560 Speaker 1: really proud of it because I put a lot of 1079 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,880 Speaker 1: work into it and you should be. I personally, I'm 1080 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,920 Speaker 1: a fan and I've loved the evolution of it. I've 1081 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,200 Speaker 1: watched a ton of the interviews. I mean, for me, 1082 00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,400 Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you more that whoever sits in 1083 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,560 Speaker 1: front of me, whether there are a celebrity, whether they're not, 1084 00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:32,200 Speaker 1: whether they're a scientist, a doctor, a host, you know, 1085 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,319 Speaker 1: whatever they may be, Like, I just want to create 1086 00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,880 Speaker 1: exactly what you said, Like, we're so aligned on that 1087 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,640 Speaker 1: like create a safe space where people can feel they 1088 00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,759 Speaker 1: can be themselves and they're not being forced to be 1089 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,960 Speaker 1: someone and they're not being forced to be the one 1090 00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:49,560 Speaker 1: version that we see. But I think what I really 1091 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,400 Speaker 1: took away from what you're saying is that even though 1092 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,160 Speaker 1: you're right, I know what you're saying, that there's no 1093 00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:55,920 Speaker 1: weekly structure, it's not like you're trying to figure out like, oh, 1094 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 1: we're going to do this and that. Actually, when you 1095 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:02,280 Speaker 1: hear you exp Lane, when I just heard you explain 1096 00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:07,719 Speaker 1: how sex and mental health are so interconnected, that is 1097 00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:11,160 Speaker 1: very coherent. And that's very cohesive. So even if there 1098 00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 1: isn't a plan every week, who you're talking to all 1099 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,960 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, 1100 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,200 Speaker 1: And it's like no one would ever know that or 1101 00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,080 Speaker 1: think about that. And this is what I think. We 1102 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,160 Speaker 1: think so shallow now, right, Like everything's a shallow thought. 1103 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,839 Speaker 1: And when I say shallow, I don't mean the subject matter, 1104 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:30,920 Speaker 1: I mean how deeply we consider an idea. So Alex 1105 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,920 Speaker 1: has changed what she talks about on her podcast slightly. Right, 1106 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,920 Speaker 1: She's still she's still doing the sex pod because she's 1107 00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,320 Speaker 1: still talking about those things, but she's also talking about 1108 00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,520 Speaker 1: mental health and therapy and whatever she wants to talk about. 1109 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:46,160 Speaker 1: That's a shallow thought. Oh, she's just Spotify's told her 1110 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,960 Speaker 1: to do that. She can't talk about sex anymore because whatever, right, 1111 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:50,640 Speaker 1: like whatever, whatever it is, I don't know what I'm 1112 00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 1: making literally making stuff up. But then when you take 1113 00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:54,840 Speaker 1: that thought deeper, you go, Okay, Wait, when I actually 1114 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,360 Speaker 1: listen to Alex explain it, she's like, I should be 1115 00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,680 Speaker 1: willing to do about mental health and sex because they're 1116 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,160 Speaker 1: so interconnected. I should be able to talk about mental 1117 00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,719 Speaker 1: health and anything in my life because it's so interconnected. 1118 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,960 Speaker 1: And I feel that I just love that description, Like 1119 00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,200 Speaker 1: I'm just holding onto that. That's my biggest takeaway from 1120 00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:16,480 Speaker 1: what you said, because I think it's unhealthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, 1121 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,120 Speaker 1: psychologically for us to think that any subject matter is 1122 00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:23,600 Speaker 1: separate from any other in the human experience. I agree, 1123 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,359 Speaker 1: And I feel like especially with sex and having been 1124 00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,719 Speaker 1: a woman and trying to now like I'm not trying 1125 00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,399 Speaker 1: to get away from it, I'm just trying to prove 1126 00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,960 Speaker 1: like there's other things about me, what a concept, and 1127 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,719 Speaker 1: that respect has been something that I keep pushing up 1128 00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:41,319 Speaker 1: against of like it almost I think at first, I'll 1129 00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:43,520 Speaker 1: be honest, made me want to go so far away 1130 00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:48,200 Speaker 1: from it because it's what everyone just wanted to pigeonhole 1131 00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:52,680 Speaker 1: me as. And I feel like, especially with the season 1132 00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,520 Speaker 1: two that's going to come out of Call Her Daddy 1133 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:58,319 Speaker 1: at the end of September into October, like you're going 1134 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:02,000 Speaker 1: to see a shift because is I feel like when 1135 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,920 Speaker 1: I was in my twenties, I kind of mentioned this earlier. 1136 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,520 Speaker 1: You're everyone's self involved. We're just trying to understand. Like 1137 00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,040 Speaker 1: I remember getting out of college being so miserable. I 1138 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,040 Speaker 1: hated my job, I hated my life. I was like, 1139 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,080 Speaker 1: what am I doing with my life? You're just trying 1140 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:19,480 Speaker 1: to quite literally survive. And where I'm at now in 1141 00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,480 Speaker 1: my life at twenty eight. I just turned twenty eight, 1142 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:27,920 Speaker 1: and I feel I genuinely have a different interest for 1143 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,080 Speaker 1: what is happening in the world. Like I know this 1144 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,120 Speaker 1: may not be the most relatable thing, but like I 1145 00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:37,440 Speaker 1: have one of the biggest platforms specifically well I know, 1146 00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,400 Speaker 1: I just found out my show is the number one 1147 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:44,320 Speaker 1: biggest listen to show for women on in the world 1148 00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:48,360 Speaker 1: for a podcast. All I think when I hear that, 1149 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:53,240 Speaker 1: that's great, let's frame it my mom may frame it responsibility. 1150 00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:57,600 Speaker 1: That's what I take from that. How am I not 1151 00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:04,360 Speaker 1: going to start talking about deeper topics and things that 1152 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:08,440 Speaker 1: are genuinely going to affect generations to come? Having such 1153 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:11,360 Speaker 1: a big platform, I feel a sense of responsibility of 1154 00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,160 Speaker 1: what am I doing? Open my eyes, start reading the news, Like, 1155 00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,920 Speaker 1: I just feel there's a different level that I'm taking 1156 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,920 Speaker 1: this show too. And it's not to become preachy, and 1157 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,120 Speaker 1: it's not to become political, and it's not to become 1158 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,400 Speaker 1: in your face. It's going to have that same genuine 1159 00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:29,200 Speaker 1: nature quality has always had. I am coming to them 1160 00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:33,120 Speaker 1: just having a conversation. I want both sides to participate. 1161 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,360 Speaker 1: I want people to feel so comfortable. I'm not asking 1162 00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,720 Speaker 1: you anything. I'm just wanting people to listen and to 1163 00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:44,360 Speaker 1: maybe have a thought provoking conversation that could potentially change 1164 00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,840 Speaker 1: your mind or strengthen your view on something. I feel 1165 00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,680 Speaker 1: like in a world of such snap judgment because of 1166 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 1: social media, people are inclined to make decisions so quickly 1167 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,919 Speaker 1: based off of a headline or a photo or whatever 1168 00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,440 Speaker 1: it is, or gossip, And I like, how what I 1169 00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,960 Speaker 1: want to do with color Daddy is wouldn't you feel 1170 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,080 Speaker 1: so much better if you could make your decision with 1171 00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:09,520 Speaker 1: a more three sixty POV on something. And that is 1172 00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:13,680 Speaker 1: what podcasting does, long form sit downs. Get to know someone, 1173 00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:17,800 Speaker 1: get to understand a topic, an issue, an argument, and 1174 00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,400 Speaker 1: then make your judgment, because that is amazing. If you 1175 00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,120 Speaker 1: leave being like I have the same opinion, amazing, But 1176 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:24,600 Speaker 1: now don't you feel better that you have a bit 1177 00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,400 Speaker 1: more of an educated opinion rather than a snap judgment 1178 00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,120 Speaker 1: or most times what people do when they listen to 1179 00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:33,400 Speaker 1: Collar Daddy is okay, I admit I was judging them 1180 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,560 Speaker 1: my mind change. I just had someone on and all 1181 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:40,560 Speaker 1: of the dms were I don't know if I really 1182 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:44,880 Speaker 1: thought I liked them anymore. And now I'm obsessed again 1183 00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:48,400 Speaker 1: because I forgot what they went through in their life, 1184 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:53,520 Speaker 1: and I was completely unattached to the empathy level because 1185 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,720 Speaker 1: all I see is social media posts. So I hope 1186 00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,680 Speaker 1: people feel that. And again, I'm not trying to be 1187 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:00,840 Speaker 1: this like preachy. I don't know what I'm doing half 1188 01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:02,480 Speaker 1: the time, you know, But I just feel a sense 1189 01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,919 Speaker 1: of responsibility and I hope that my audience can feel 1190 01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,960 Speaker 1: like it's just a journey, because what else are we 1191 01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,160 Speaker 1: doing here? I want everyone to have fun. We want 1192 01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:10,760 Speaker 1: to have laughs. We're going to continue to have that, 1193 01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,040 Speaker 1: And especially being a woman right now, it's like, if 1194 01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,640 Speaker 1: I don't speak up, I'm not doing my job and 1195 01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,880 Speaker 1: I won't be able to sleep at night knowing that 1196 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,120 Speaker 1: I didn't do something that actually was just right in 1197 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:22,560 Speaker 1: front of me that I could have done. And I 1198 01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,560 Speaker 1: have such a platform, and so I'm sure everyone can 1199 01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:34,120 Speaker 1: know what I'm kind of talking about. But yeah, vote, okay, yeah, yeah, no, 1200 01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:38,160 Speaker 1: I mean personally hearing that I and you don't need 1201 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:39,880 Speaker 1: to hear this for me, And I'm only saying it 1202 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:41,959 Speaker 1: because I genuinely mean it, and for whatever it's worth, 1203 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,880 Speaker 1: it's like I love that, Like I personally appreciate that 1204 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:49,160 Speaker 1: so much because I only went out to start building 1205 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:52,680 Speaker 1: a platform in the desire to serve, like we only 1206 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,680 Speaker 1: I only started this journey hoping that we'd be able 1207 01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:58,800 Speaker 1: to help people. It never came from anything else. It 1208 01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,240 Speaker 1: started in that place and it's still in that place today. 1209 01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,360 Speaker 1: And when I hear someone who's like, hey, I was 1210 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,040 Speaker 1: twenty two and now I'm growing up and this is life, 1211 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,000 Speaker 1: and I like, look at that, and I go, I 1212 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,280 Speaker 1: love people who do that. And you know, a lot 1213 01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,840 Speaker 1: of people that I work with in my coaching practice. 1214 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:16,000 Speaker 1: It's like that's where there are like they became famous 1215 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,920 Speaker 1: through music, or they became famous through movies, or they 1216 01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:22,360 Speaker 1: became famous through whatever, and now they're having that same 1217 01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:25,200 Speaker 1: journey in their life where they go Jay, I have 1218 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,840 Speaker 1: like hundreds of millions of people who listen to me 1219 01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,360 Speaker 1: and they care about what I have to say. I 1220 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,080 Speaker 1: don't want to be the person who just has a 1221 01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:36,320 Speaker 1: great home business in life. I want to do more 1222 01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:39,040 Speaker 1: than that. And to me, I think when people who 1223 01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,640 Speaker 1: have the opportunity to say that say that and then 1224 01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,480 Speaker 1: go follow it up, that's when the world starts becoming 1225 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:46,920 Speaker 1: a better place. It does, and I think it is 1226 01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,840 Speaker 1: really it's a it's a hard concept, especially when you 1227 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,919 Speaker 1: have a podcast. I don't see all these people right yeah, 1228 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,280 Speaker 1: you know when I'm told, oh, your podcast is also 1229 01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:59,080 Speaker 1: the biggest podcast for millennials and gen Z, I'm like, 1230 01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,560 Speaker 1: so that is an audience that has the opportunity to 1231 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:06,040 Speaker 1: quite literally change the world. What am I doing? And 1232 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,880 Speaker 1: it doesn't need to be every episode. I just think 1233 01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,360 Speaker 1: there's a different level of awareness I have right now, 1234 01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,360 Speaker 1: and I'm I don't have it figured out. I am 1235 01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:18,040 Speaker 1: not perfect by any means. I definitely present a certain 1236 01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:21,000 Speaker 1: way on social media for my business, but like I'm 1237 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:23,840 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do is just take my education 1238 01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:27,960 Speaker 1: public and just use this platform and not be better 1239 01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:31,240 Speaker 1: than anyone, just genuinely be like I'm learning. I literally 1240 01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:33,240 Speaker 1: said to my team, and I was like, I will 1241 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,600 Speaker 1: publicly say this. Like a couple of years ago, I 1242 01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,200 Speaker 1: remember when I got out of college, I had to 1243 01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,280 Speaker 1: call my dad and be like, I don't know how 1244 01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,000 Speaker 1: to Like how am I going to vote? Dad? Like what, 1245 01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,480 Speaker 1: I'm in Boston, I'm from Pennsylvania. Where am I registered? 1246 01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,280 Speaker 1: Like I don't even know how to vote? And I 1247 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:49,240 Speaker 1: am not ashamed to say that. I think people feel 1248 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:53,920 Speaker 1: so overwhelmed with certain things in life of college does 1249 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,120 Speaker 1: not prepare us for a lot, right, and there's a 1250 01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,720 Speaker 1: lot that we're like what are we doing? And I 1251 01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,120 Speaker 1: think when you have people on platforms that are acting 1252 01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:02,960 Speaker 1: like you don't know what you're doing, it makes you 1253 01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,280 Speaker 1: feel ashamed, It makes you feel insecure, and then you 1254 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,800 Speaker 1: just don't do anything. So I think call her daddy. Also, 1255 01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,440 Speaker 1: this season is really trying to just make it ingestable 1256 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:14,360 Speaker 1: for everyone of like I'm with you, guys. I am 1257 01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,600 Speaker 1: also still like a couple of years ago, my dad 1258 01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:20,320 Speaker 1: was helping me on turbo tax Okay, I didn't know 1259 01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:23,439 Speaker 1: what I was doing, but I'm learning, and I hope 1260 01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:26,880 Speaker 1: that it's just I hope that people appreciate me just 1261 01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:28,840 Speaker 1: trying to make a little bit of a change, because 1262 01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:32,919 Speaker 1: there's a lot of power in podcasting and in these 1263 01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:36,480 Speaker 1: really intimate conversations. That's the best part about podcasting. It 1264 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:39,360 Speaker 1: is such an intimate relationship that we have with our listeners, 1265 01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:43,240 Speaker 1: and I don't take it for granted. So there you go. No, 1266 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,120 Speaker 1: you're spot on. Like I think we genuinely close off 1267 01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:49,120 Speaker 1: when we think we're surrounded by a community of people 1268 01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,000 Speaker 1: who know it alls or and I think that's when 1269 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,280 Speaker 1: people start to lie. That's when people start to hide. 1270 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,200 Speaker 1: Like I think everyone, everyone, like millennials and gen z 1271 01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,480 Speaker 1: everyone right now feels the pressure to know how to 1272 01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:03,280 Speaker 1: be an vesta, like because investing is the cool thing, 1273 01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:04,920 Speaker 1: right and it's like if you don't know how to 1274 01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,920 Speaker 1: buy an NFT, if you don't you know, if you 1275 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,760 Speaker 1: didn't how to buy crypto when it was like booming 1276 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,320 Speaker 1: and everyone's like talking big, it was like if you 1277 01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,080 Speaker 1: didn't know how to do those things. It was like, 1278 01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,280 Speaker 1: who are you? You can't be cool if you don't 1279 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:17,920 Speaker 1: if you don't know how to vote, like oh well 1280 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,440 Speaker 1: then you don't care, or all of these things. And 1281 01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,160 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't think any of those things were 1282 01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:26,400 Speaker 1: ever explained to anyone. Anyone and we're just listening to 1283 01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:29,760 Speaker 1: one random thirty second TikTok and being like, oh my god, 1284 01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:31,320 Speaker 1: I need to buy that, I need to do this, 1285 01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,680 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I fully believe, I fully agree with 1286 01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:36,080 Speaker 1: what you're saying. Yeah, social media has definitely made us 1287 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:38,640 Speaker 1: all feel a little bit like we're behind, Like what 1288 01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,920 Speaker 1: am I missing? Or I don't oh I'm not in 1289 01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,400 Speaker 1: on that, or I'm feeling excluded, or maybe I'm not 1290 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,120 Speaker 1: cool enough, I don't look at a certain way, I 1291 01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:47,680 Speaker 1: don't know how to do something. And it's like, that's 1292 01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:49,600 Speaker 1: what I've tried to say, take a little step back 1293 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:53,200 Speaker 1: from social media recently and really focus on Like I 1294 01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:57,320 Speaker 1: have the same three best friends since I was six 1295 01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,440 Speaker 1: years old. I have my family, I have my really hip, 1296 01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:04,280 Speaker 1: I have my amazing team now Collar Daddy comprise of 1297 01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:07,040 Speaker 1: all women, they're amazing. I feel so for everyone's always 1298 01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,000 Speaker 1: like what's the best thing that came from your Spotify deal, 1299 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:10,440 Speaker 1: and I was like that I can now hire a 1300 01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:13,840 Speaker 1: team of these amazing people. But I do feel like 1301 01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:18,000 Speaker 1: you have to also everything's with a grain of salt 1302 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,960 Speaker 1: on social media. Try to also just be more present. 1303 01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:25,680 Speaker 1: Like I found myself the other month on my phone 1304 01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,000 Speaker 1: on TikTok scrolling. I'm by myself. There's a beautiful sunset 1305 01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:32,800 Speaker 1: at my new house, and I'm scrolling on TikTok, and 1306 01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:34,680 Speaker 1: I for a minute had this moment of like, hold on, 1307 01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:42,000 Speaker 1: I'm watching a random girl in her bedroom doing whatever 1308 01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:46,120 Speaker 1: she's doing, and I don't know her. And I'm sitting 1309 01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:50,360 Speaker 1: on my couch, lovely woman whoever. She is wasting my 1310 01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:52,400 Speaker 1: time watching someone that I don't know, and this is 1311 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:57,240 Speaker 1: not changing my life. Go outside, Alex, Go watch the sunset, 1312 01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,480 Speaker 1: Go take my dog on a walk. Be present, because 1313 01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:03,640 Speaker 1: it gives me anxiety. I realize when I don't feel 1314 01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:05,560 Speaker 1: good enough, I don't feel pretty enough, I don't feel 1315 01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:07,320 Speaker 1: like I'm fitting the body standard. And then I start 1316 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,120 Speaker 1: to spiral and it's like, why are we doing this 1317 01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:12,400 Speaker 1: to ourselves if we know that it's not helping us. 1318 01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,919 Speaker 1: Let's I'm just trying to be a little bit more 1319 01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:20,840 Speaker 1: in the moment with my thoughts of Okay, so step back, 1320 01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:22,960 Speaker 1: you can take it out of your hand and put 1321 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000 Speaker 1: it down. And I know it's quite literally doctors are 1322 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,480 Speaker 1: comparing it to an addiction. So that's also something that's 1323 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,520 Speaker 1: helped me with my mental health recently. Is like really 1324 01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:33,240 Speaker 1: putting boundaries on social media. What are some of the 1325 01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:37,200 Speaker 1: new habits of this new alex and values of this 1326 01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,560 Speaker 1: new alex that are really becoming integrated into your life, 1327 01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,040 Speaker 1: like you just said, like learning about what's happening in 1328 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:47,040 Speaker 1: the world, like being well informed, educating yourself, taking that online. 1329 01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:49,280 Speaker 1: Obviously therapy we've talked about, like what are some of 1330 01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:52,320 Speaker 1: the I guess the smaller habits that you've developed. That's 1331 01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,800 Speaker 1: one of them. And that's a beautiful one. I always joked, 1332 01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:56,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm a vow. I never say this word again. 1333 01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:59,880 Speaker 1: I in the beginning of Call Her Daddy and short 1334 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,560 Speaker 1: kind of in the pandemic went down a spiral of 1335 01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:07,720 Speaker 1: like reading Reddit pages about myself and awful, awful things 1336 01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:11,560 Speaker 1: about myself, and I was crushed, like I said earlier, 1337 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:14,840 Speaker 1: being bullied. I am a full people pleaser. I want 1338 01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:16,560 Speaker 1: everyone to like me. If I see that one comment, 1339 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, and then it's going to affect my content 1340 01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,280 Speaker 1: the next week and I'm going to have a Freudian 1341 01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:23,600 Speaker 1: slip and somehow talk about something that I saw in 1342 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:25,280 Speaker 1: the comment. I'm trying to be like, oh my god. 1343 01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,959 Speaker 1: It was about like a year or so ago, sat down, 1344 01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,320 Speaker 1: I think it was. It was with my therapist, and 1345 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:35,040 Speaker 1: I said, I am never going to open this app again, 1346 01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:39,600 Speaker 1: and if I do, I'm hurting. Call her daddy. And 1347 01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,040 Speaker 1: I almost got it. Helped me take it out of myself, 1348 01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:45,520 Speaker 1: of like, because I was it was affecting my content, 1349 01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:50,680 Speaker 1: and I stopped looking at these people that I remember 1350 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,000 Speaker 1: I always used to also be like, they're just hurting 1351 01:07:53,040 --> 01:07:54,920 Speaker 1: in their own life, and we can talk about why 1352 01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,560 Speaker 1: people are trolls on the internet for hours, but it's 1353 01:07:57,640 --> 01:08:02,120 Speaker 1: not my problem. I need to drown that out. Whatever 1354 01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:05,720 Speaker 1: those people are going through, whyever they hate me. I 1355 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:07,800 Speaker 1: know I'm a good person. I know what I'm trying 1356 01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:10,160 Speaker 1: to do. So I stopped reading that about a year ago, 1357 01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:15,400 Speaker 1: and my life. I feel like a different human being. 1358 01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:21,439 Speaker 1: I am taking notes from people that truly care about me, 1359 01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:25,719 Speaker 1: and I'm someone that my producer was like, it's interesting 1360 01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:29,200 Speaker 1: you love a note. I love a note. I love 1361 01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:31,560 Speaker 1: someone to tell me when I'm doing something wrong, what 1362 01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:33,920 Speaker 1: I'm doing wrong. I love a note. And so I 1363 01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:38,280 Speaker 1: don't surround myself with yes people. I'm very I came 1364 01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:40,519 Speaker 1: to LA and I had to make a decision of 1365 01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,240 Speaker 1: you know, who I wanted to hang out with, what 1366 01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:45,200 Speaker 1: I wanted to do, and like, I am sticking to 1367 01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:48,080 Speaker 1: the people that I have known my whole life. I 1368 01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,680 Speaker 1: am not not open to meeting new friends. I have 1369 01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:54,679 Speaker 1: made new friends in LA, but I'm very specific about 1370 01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:57,320 Speaker 1: who I share my time with. And I think that 1371 01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,840 Speaker 1: is totally fair to say. And I think sometimes people like, 1372 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:01,680 Speaker 1: oh this is that, or oh, you don't have as 1373 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:04,880 Speaker 1: many friends. I am taking care of my mental health 1374 01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,360 Speaker 1: by making sure the people that I'm surrounded with aren't 1375 01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:09,880 Speaker 1: yes people because they're like, oh, we want to come 1376 01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:12,360 Speaker 1: and hang out in Alex's cool house with their cool job. 1377 01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:14,880 Speaker 1: It's people that are like, check yourself, what's up? Like 1378 01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:16,479 Speaker 1: how are you doing? And I could do the same 1379 01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:20,519 Speaker 1: to them, and so I have made efforts to make 1380 01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:24,040 Speaker 1: sure who I'm around not only they don't even make 1381 01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:26,600 Speaker 1: me feel good, it's that they're real with me and 1382 01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:28,880 Speaker 1: they treat me. If all this was gone tomorrow, I 1383 01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,800 Speaker 1: know those people are going to still be there. And 1384 01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:35,120 Speaker 1: I think with social media, I've kind of just I've 1385 01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,439 Speaker 1: really gone through periods where I felt like my whole 1386 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:43,679 Speaker 1: existence was immersed and defiant or defined by social media 1387 01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:50,360 Speaker 1: and literally just through meditating, being alone with my thoughts, 1388 01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:56,080 Speaker 1: going through therapy of when you actually dissect, does something 1389 01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:59,880 Speaker 1: make you feel bad? Yes, so why are you doing it? 1390 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,960 Speaker 1: It's so simple and it is so hard, But the 1391 01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:05,720 Speaker 1: more that I train my brain, it's really helped me. 1392 01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:08,920 Speaker 1: And I think when I go through really awful times 1393 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:10,760 Speaker 1: on social media, if people are coming at me, if 1394 01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:12,639 Speaker 1: I get the mean comments, this is something that keeps 1395 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,720 Speaker 1: me kind of ground. It is I always get through 1396 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,400 Speaker 1: something in the moment. When you are going through something, 1397 01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:22,120 Speaker 1: it is awful and it can be heart wrenching. It 1398 01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:24,920 Speaker 1: you can feel it physically, you can feel alone, you 1399 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:28,720 Speaker 1: can feel scared, whatever feeling comes when something bad is 1400 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:32,120 Speaker 1: happening in your life. But you get through it. And 1401 01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:34,519 Speaker 1: when you get through it, you look back and you're 1402 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,080 Speaker 1: always like, oh, I wish I could have told myself, 1403 01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:38,920 Speaker 1: like stop stressing, stop overthinking, stop So what I've had 1404 01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:40,920 Speaker 1: to do is in the moments of crisis, when I'm 1405 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,960 Speaker 1: freaking out, having a panic attack anxiety, I'm like, Okay, 1406 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,519 Speaker 1: hold on, in two days, this will be over. Let's 1407 01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:50,320 Speaker 1: go on a walk, Let's take a breath. Let's call 1408 01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,720 Speaker 1: people I love, Let's talk to my mom, Let's call 1409 01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:57,120 Speaker 1: my therapist. Let's take all of the stuff that's happening 1410 01:10:57,160 --> 01:11:01,000 Speaker 1: in my head and just calm pause, connect with people 1411 01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:03,960 Speaker 1: that love me, and get out of your kind of 1412 01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:06,360 Speaker 1: psychosis that's happening in your brain. You're going over and over. 1413 01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:08,080 Speaker 1: I always think about like I always get through it. 1414 01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:10,320 Speaker 1: I've had so many moments where I'm freaking out. I 1415 01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:12,800 Speaker 1: always get through it. I always so look at the 1416 01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:15,519 Speaker 1: other side and it's I don't know, it's easier said 1417 01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:17,320 Speaker 1: than done again, but like it helps me be like 1418 01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:20,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be there in a couple of days or hours, 1419 01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,519 Speaker 1: so like this it's not as bad as it feels. 1420 01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:27,200 Speaker 1: I don't know any sense, Yeah, it does, it does. 1421 01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:30,160 Speaker 1: I think what you're describing is like everything is simply 1422 01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:33,320 Speaker 1: a pattern of thought, right, It's just a pattern of thoughts, 1423 01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:35,639 Speaker 1: and the current pattern of thoughts we all have are 1424 01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:38,360 Speaker 1: not serving us, they're not helping us. They're not improving 1425 01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:42,040 Speaker 1: our lives. And the hard part is knowing which thoughts 1426 01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:43,840 Speaker 1: to change and then how to change them. And so 1427 01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:46,519 Speaker 1: the tools you just gave us, we're really simple ways, 1428 01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:49,120 Speaker 1: in practical ways that anyone can start changing their thoughts. 1429 01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:52,760 Speaker 1: And if I literally, if we just understood that that 1430 01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:55,960 Speaker 1: simply by changing your thoughts, you can transform every human 1431 01:11:56,040 --> 01:12:00,240 Speaker 1: experience in the world. Whether it's sitting in a old 1432 01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:04,080 Speaker 1: plunge and you're just changing your thoughts, whether it's you know, 1433 01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:06,439 Speaker 1: doing a hike in the morning, whether it's just getting 1434 01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:08,519 Speaker 1: to the gym right like, whatever it is, it's just 1435 01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:12,040 Speaker 1: changing your thoughts, and it's beautiful to hear you figure 1436 01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:15,400 Speaker 1: that out and work through them. Also, journaling, I've had 1437 01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:17,880 Speaker 1: when I go through really hard times, I always journal 1438 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,920 Speaker 1: during and after, and then when I'm going through a 1439 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:22,880 Speaker 1: crisis again, I'll read the after and even the during, 1440 01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:26,519 Speaker 1: and I'm like i was spiraling, look where i am now, 1441 01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,320 Speaker 1: I'm sitting on the beach, like I'm or I'm driving 1442 01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:33,160 Speaker 1: to work. Everything's okay. We get through. I have gone 1443 01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:36,960 Speaker 1: through people dying and it's like it is the worst. 1444 01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:40,840 Speaker 1: It is the worst, but you have to find a 1445 01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:43,360 Speaker 1: way to keep going. You have to find the positive, 1446 01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:48,280 Speaker 1: right And I have a lot of friends connected through 1447 01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:50,880 Speaker 1: trauma of things that happened in our childhood, and it's 1448 01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:54,400 Speaker 1: like we I had my two best girlfriends come and 1449 01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:55,880 Speaker 1: visit me, and they were with me for a week 1450 01:12:56,360 --> 01:13:00,439 Speaker 1: and we were just talking about life. How am I 1451 01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:03,880 Speaker 1: going to keep going? But then you remember the moment 1452 01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:06,479 Speaker 1: after that where you're laughing on the beach with your 1453 01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:08,599 Speaker 1: friend and you're like, imagine, if I didn't keep going, 1454 01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:11,479 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have this beautiful moment with these people. And 1455 01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:14,639 Speaker 1: so it's like always trying to look to the other side, 1456 01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,920 Speaker 1: and if you can get there, you can take that 1457 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:20,479 Speaker 1: breath and be like, thank God, I hung in there. Yeah, 1458 01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:23,560 Speaker 1: what's a belief that you think you've had about yourself 1459 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:27,280 Speaker 1: that you think led you down the wrong path? Is 1460 01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:29,679 Speaker 1: there a specific belief that you once had about yourself 1461 01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:31,439 Speaker 1: that you think kind of went the other way? Like 1462 01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,400 Speaker 1: you just said, sometimes you have to push through, right. 1463 01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:35,960 Speaker 1: Sometimes we carry a belief about ourselves and we end 1464 01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:38,200 Speaker 1: up somewhere we don't want to be. I think because 1465 01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,040 Speaker 1: of things that have happened publicly, and there's so many 1466 01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:44,280 Speaker 1: things that have happened publicly for me, in my career, 1467 01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:49,519 Speaker 1: I would say, it really hurts me when people assume 1468 01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:54,920 Speaker 1: I'm a bad friend. My entire life, that has been 1469 01:13:55,000 --> 01:14:00,759 Speaker 1: the one thing I have felt I'm out of myself 1470 01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:08,120 Speaker 1: for truly, Like my friendships are so valuable to me, 1471 01:14:08,880 --> 01:14:14,760 Speaker 1: and I take such pride in those relationships. And when 1472 01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,240 Speaker 1: you have public things and it happens to happen with 1473 01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:19,479 Speaker 1: the woman, it's like the person that comes out on 1474 01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:22,880 Speaker 1: top is the villain, and then the person that didn't 1475 01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:26,400 Speaker 1: is the victim. And I'm not like going at anyone 1476 01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:28,240 Speaker 1: saying that they're calling themselves a victim. I'm just saying 1477 01:14:28,240 --> 01:14:30,400 Speaker 1: that's how the public perceives it. And so as a woman, 1478 01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:34,960 Speaker 1: it upsets me, and I would find myself really struggling 1479 01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:38,759 Speaker 1: at times being like I know I'm a great friend. 1480 01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,200 Speaker 1: Like I had a friend recently say to me because 1481 01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,759 Speaker 1: she's going through something and almost like through the tools 1482 01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:46,920 Speaker 1: of my show and therapy, she mentioned to me, she 1483 01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:50,120 Speaker 1: was like, I have never I think I've never felt 1484 01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:51,680 Speaker 1: you being a better friend than in this moment, Like 1485 01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:53,560 Speaker 1: I can't thank you for how much you're taking on 1486 01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:55,280 Speaker 1: for me. And I was like, I'm in a good 1487 01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:58,240 Speaker 1: place right now, Like it's all I can picture doing 1488 01:14:58,479 --> 01:15:01,200 Speaker 1: is helping a friend and being there for someone because 1489 01:15:01,479 --> 01:15:03,600 Speaker 1: you've been there for me when I've been at the 1490 01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:06,760 Speaker 1: absolute bottom. That's how friendship works, right, And I think 1491 01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:09,840 Speaker 1: friendships are so beautiful because you have to choose to 1492 01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:14,800 Speaker 1: keep it moving, keep it strong. A romantic relationship, it's there, 1493 01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:18,200 Speaker 1: you're together all the time. Friendship, that's hard. My friends 1494 01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:20,720 Speaker 1: live across the country. My three best friends do not 1495 01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:23,479 Speaker 1: live in Los Angeles, California, And it is a constant effort, 1496 01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,840 Speaker 1: and they know me just as much as I know them, 1497 01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:28,000 Speaker 1: and we have been through so much together. But I 1498 01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:30,599 Speaker 1: think that kind of ate at me, and I'm sure 1499 01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:33,120 Speaker 1: you've had it, of like, there's nothing worse than when 1500 01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:36,000 Speaker 1: someone believes something about you that you're like, oh, like 1501 01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:38,800 Speaker 1: I want to prove it that's not true. And I 1502 01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:41,639 Speaker 1: have so many things that could prove that that's not true. 1503 01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:43,760 Speaker 1: But I've had to work on in therapy of like 1504 01:15:44,400 --> 01:15:49,479 Speaker 1: I can't please everyone, and through do my friends know 1505 01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:53,719 Speaker 1: I'm a good friend. That's all that matters. The Internet 1506 01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:57,240 Speaker 1: thinking I'm this or that, Like if you like my show, 1507 01:15:57,400 --> 01:15:59,400 Speaker 1: you're gonna listen, but you're not listening because I'm a 1508 01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:03,000 Speaker 1: good friend. So it's like, I need to prioritize knowing 1509 01:16:03,080 --> 01:16:06,559 Speaker 1: who I am, knowing how deeply I feel for these 1510 01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:10,720 Speaker 1: people that I consider family. That's all that matters, and 1511 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,720 Speaker 1: I don't need to prove that. But I definitely went 1512 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:14,800 Speaker 1: down moments of like, oh my god, am I trying 1513 01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:18,120 Speaker 1: to talk about this in an episode? Improve It's like, Alex, you, 1514 01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:21,320 Speaker 1: if I tried to whack them all everything people think 1515 01:16:21,320 --> 01:16:24,160 Speaker 1: about me, I'm not going to get done interviews. I'll 1516 01:16:24,200 --> 01:16:26,479 Speaker 1: be just doing solo episode for the rest of my career. 1517 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:29,360 Speaker 1: So that was something that was kind of hard. Yeah, 1518 01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:32,799 Speaker 1: and there'd still be something about your explanation that wouldn't 1519 01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:35,400 Speaker 1: be enough. Yeah, And yeah, I found that. I mean, 1520 01:16:35,479 --> 01:16:37,519 Speaker 1: I was asked in a podcast a few years ago. 1521 01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:41,080 Speaker 1: Someone asked me the question, what's something you used to 1522 01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:44,000 Speaker 1: value that you don't value anymore? And it's a really 1523 01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:46,840 Speaker 1: great question, and we have the video of it. I'm 1524 01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,040 Speaker 1: like sitting there thinking about it, and you can tell 1525 01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:50,920 Speaker 1: it's you know, when you ask a question and you 1526 01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,960 Speaker 1: actually have to think rather than like you've got a 1527 01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:57,400 Speaker 1: million things to say, And I said being understood. I 1528 01:16:57,520 --> 01:17:00,280 Speaker 1: was like, I just don't value being understood anymore because 1529 01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:03,840 Speaker 1: It's just it killed me that desire I had, and 1530 01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,920 Speaker 1: I get that. People. It's like, for years, I just 1531 01:17:06,040 --> 01:17:08,120 Speaker 1: wanted people to know I was a good person and 1532 01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:10,479 Speaker 1: that I had pure intentions and I was trying to 1533 01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:12,160 Speaker 1: serve the world and I was and I was like, 1534 01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:13,800 Speaker 1: you know what, no one's going to give me the 1535 01:17:13,840 --> 01:17:17,000 Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt. No one cares. And at the 1536 01:17:17,120 --> 01:17:19,439 Speaker 1: end of the day, I have to lose that desire 1537 01:17:19,479 --> 01:17:22,920 Speaker 1: to be misunderstood. And I'm sorry to be understood because 1538 01:17:22,960 --> 01:17:26,240 Speaker 1: most people are going to misunderstand me. And that's okay. 1539 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,400 Speaker 1: That is like freed me. That is so beautiful because 1540 01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:33,680 Speaker 1: I relate to that deeply. And I love that you're 1541 01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:39,160 Speaker 1: saying that, because being understood is so overrated and exhausting, 1542 01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:42,200 Speaker 1: because who you're mostly trying now in the age of 1543 01:17:42,240 --> 01:17:45,360 Speaker 1: social media to be understood by is people you don't 1544 01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:48,360 Speaker 1: even know. Yeah, and what about the people you do know? 1545 01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,840 Speaker 1: How much time are you putting? Are we put It 1546 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,840 Speaker 1: was a measure for me, am I putting more effort 1547 01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,760 Speaker 1: into the people I don't know than the people I 1548 01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:58,360 Speaker 1: do know. That's check your yourself, because I've done that 1549 01:17:58,439 --> 01:18:00,519 Speaker 1: to myself. And I love that you said that because it. 1550 01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:02,880 Speaker 1: When you get to that point, it is so free, 1551 01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:05,479 Speaker 1: and because you're like, I'm me. I don't need if 1552 01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:07,840 Speaker 1: I say something people take the wrong way. I don't 1553 01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:10,439 Speaker 1: need to be like, oh my god, I promise I'm 1554 01:18:10,479 --> 01:18:13,360 Speaker 1: a good person. No, you either know or you don't. 1555 01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:15,639 Speaker 1: And I'm not going to run around and chase people 1556 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:18,400 Speaker 1: and try to convince people of my character. I go 1557 01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:20,679 Speaker 1: to sleep at night. I know I am a good daughter, 1558 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:23,000 Speaker 1: a good partner, and a good friend, and I know 1559 01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:26,720 Speaker 1: I am not perfect by any means. But I am 1560 01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:31,439 Speaker 1: trying every day, through therapy, through just looking inward a lot, 1561 01:18:31,520 --> 01:18:34,360 Speaker 1: and trying to be with my thoughts and being more 1562 01:18:34,520 --> 01:18:38,800 Speaker 1: present with the uncomfortable, silent moments, trying to just be 1563 01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:41,639 Speaker 1: a better person. And I think it sounds corny even 1564 01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:43,200 Speaker 1: when I say it out loud, but like, what else 1565 01:18:43,240 --> 01:18:44,960 Speaker 1: are we here to do? You know what I mean? Like? 1566 01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:47,439 Speaker 1: Do you? Are you good with the people you love 1567 01:18:47,520 --> 01:18:49,920 Speaker 1: and who love you? That's kind of all that matters. 1568 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,639 Speaker 1: And the rest is noise. And we have huge platforms 1569 01:18:52,680 --> 01:18:55,000 Speaker 1: and it's so great, but if all of it ended tomorrow, 1570 01:18:55,720 --> 01:18:58,240 Speaker 1: I would be okay. Yeah, And I don't think I 1571 01:18:58,280 --> 01:19:00,080 Speaker 1: could have said that a couple of years ago, and 1572 01:19:00,160 --> 01:19:01,720 Speaker 1: I don't want it to end. I love you all. 1573 01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:04,280 Speaker 1: But it is a it's a good feeling because that 1574 01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:07,240 Speaker 1: then I can really put all of me into the podcast, 1575 01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:10,160 Speaker 1: because it's like I'm gonna be me and I'm gonna 1576 01:19:10,200 --> 01:19:12,719 Speaker 1: do me until I don't want to do it anymore 1577 01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:15,640 Speaker 1: and no one can tell me otherwise, you know what 1578 01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:18,160 Speaker 1: I mean. So it's it's kind of a freeing feeling. Yeah, 1579 01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:21,000 Speaker 1: And here's here's what we know. We know that the 1580 01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:23,479 Speaker 1: people that do listen to us every week, they do 1581 01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:27,560 Speaker 1: know us. Like I feel so seen, heard and understood 1582 01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:30,960 Speaker 1: by my community that listens to me here, and whether 1583 01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:33,400 Speaker 1: they listen to the solos or these guest episodes, like 1584 01:19:33,479 --> 01:19:35,040 Speaker 1: I know they know me, they understand me. And I 1585 01:19:35,080 --> 01:19:37,360 Speaker 1: always say that if you see me on the streets, 1586 01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:39,280 Speaker 1: please come and say hello, because we can have a 1587 01:19:39,320 --> 01:19:42,720 Speaker 1: great conversation. But at the same time as that, one 1588 01:19:42,800 --> 01:19:44,360 Speaker 1: thing I do know is that I read a study 1589 01:19:44,439 --> 01:19:48,160 Speaker 1: that said you have to spend two hundred hours with 1590 01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:52,559 Speaker 1: someone to consider to know them deeply. And I started 1591 01:19:52,640 --> 01:19:55,840 Speaker 1: thinking about who in the world have I spent two 1592 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,880 Speaker 1: hundred hours with? WHOA? And I started to realize it 1593 01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,280 Speaker 1: wasn't that many people, and that wasn't something that made 1594 01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:04,040 Speaker 1: me sad. It just made me value those people so 1595 01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:07,040 Speaker 1: much more so. My best my best friend who was 1596 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:09,000 Speaker 1: my best man at my wedding. I've known him for 1597 01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:11,519 Speaker 1: eighteen years and I still talked to him three or 1598 01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:13,200 Speaker 1: four times a week. I don't know where I find 1599 01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:15,000 Speaker 1: the time. I don't know where he finds at the time, 1600 01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:17,320 Speaker 1: but every car journey, whatever I'm doing around la I'll 1601 01:20:17,360 --> 01:20:18,760 Speaker 1: call it. He's in London, so he had an eight 1602 01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:21,160 Speaker 1: hour time difference too, and he always picks up. We 1603 01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:23,960 Speaker 1: always find a way to connect. And well, our friendship's 1604 01:20:23,960 --> 01:20:26,560 Speaker 1: got better since I left England, and so all my 1605 01:20:26,680 --> 01:20:29,200 Speaker 1: best friends are in London because that's where I grew up. 1606 01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:31,400 Speaker 1: My families in London, my wife's families in London. So 1607 01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,040 Speaker 1: for us, like, I totally hear what you're saying that 1608 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:38,400 Speaker 1: then statement you made that really resonated with me today. 1609 01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:42,680 Speaker 1: Off of what I said was that being understood as overrated, 1610 01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:45,920 Speaker 1: And it's so true because I would say that I'm 1611 01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:49,160 Speaker 1: still trying to understand even the people I've spent two 1612 01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:52,920 Speaker 1: hundred hours with, So how am I expecting someone who 1613 01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:56,400 Speaker 1: met me once for two minutes. Absolutely to understand two 1614 01:20:56,479 --> 01:20:58,680 Speaker 1: hundred hour version of me. I would hope not. I 1615 01:20:58,760 --> 01:21:01,320 Speaker 1: hope I'm complex enough that you can't figure me out 1616 01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:03,680 Speaker 1: in a minute. No, I I really love that, And 1617 01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:06,920 Speaker 1: I think it's I think that I always say to anyone, 1618 01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:10,000 Speaker 1: especially in twenties thirties, when you're out of college, it 1619 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:14,320 Speaker 1: is so so depleting at times because you are stripped 1620 01:21:14,520 --> 01:21:19,759 Speaker 1: of that immediate comfort friends in you know, proximity wise, 1621 01:21:19,920 --> 01:21:21,680 Speaker 1: and you're immediately all of a sudden, you're across the 1622 01:21:21,720 --> 01:21:23,479 Speaker 1: country and you're friends across it, and you're like, I 1623 01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:26,479 Speaker 1: don't have friends, and it's a really isolating and lonely time. 1624 01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:29,320 Speaker 1: But I would start with do you have one person? 1625 01:21:29,880 --> 01:21:32,280 Speaker 1: Do you have one person that you can call? That's 1626 01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:35,040 Speaker 1: really all that matters. And of course we want friend groups, 1627 01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:37,960 Speaker 1: we want friendships, we want connections, we want to go 1628 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,360 Speaker 1: to parties, guys, come on, but you but you have 1629 01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:42,800 Speaker 1: to just start slow with yourselves. And I think a 1630 01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:45,439 Speaker 1: lot of times in your twenties you almost get dismembered 1631 01:21:45,520 --> 01:21:47,479 Speaker 1: and you have to build yourself back up. And we're 1632 01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:50,240 Speaker 1: really hard on ourselves with those friendships. It's so much 1633 01:21:50,280 --> 01:21:53,439 Speaker 1: easier said than done. But it is a great reward 1634 01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:56,519 Speaker 1: when you can maintain those because it's they're beautiful and 1635 01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:59,439 Speaker 1: like I said, you're not having sex with these people, hopefully, 1636 01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:02,160 Speaker 1: so your friends are just there because they love you. 1637 01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:06,760 Speaker 1: Hopefully gets massy, don't do it, guys, But no, it's 1638 01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:09,960 Speaker 1: a really it's a really powerful relationship. Yeah, we've talked 1639 01:22:09,960 --> 01:22:11,880 Speaker 1: about friendships, and I want to talk about relationships a 1640 01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,559 Speaker 1: bit because it's it's a big thing here on on purpose. 1641 01:22:15,120 --> 01:22:18,360 Speaker 1: And I'm asking this because for me and this is 1642 01:22:18,400 --> 01:22:20,200 Speaker 1: what we do right and this is why I'm very 1643 01:22:20,240 --> 01:22:22,080 Speaker 1: clear on this, and this is one of the best 1644 01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:24,960 Speaker 1: skill I learned from training to become a coach was 1645 01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:30,760 Speaker 1: to not project my intentions onto other people's actions. So 1646 01:22:30,880 --> 01:22:32,599 Speaker 1: what we often do is when we see someone who 1647 01:22:32,760 --> 01:22:36,000 Speaker 1: does the same thing as us, we assume they did 1648 01:22:36,080 --> 01:22:38,680 Speaker 1: it because of the same reason as us. So if 1649 01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:41,599 Speaker 1: you see someone lie to someone, if you're someone who 1650 01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:44,040 Speaker 1: would lie to someone because you don't want to upset 1651 01:22:44,080 --> 01:22:45,679 Speaker 1: someone's feelings, you're like, oh, they lied to them because 1652 01:22:45,680 --> 01:22:47,840 Speaker 1: the don't want to upset someone's feelings. Yeah. But if 1653 01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,599 Speaker 1: you're someone who didn't do something because you were jealous 1654 01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:53,439 Speaker 1: of something, when someone doesn't do that same thing. You're like, Oh, 1655 01:22:53,479 --> 01:22:56,200 Speaker 1: that's because they're jealous of them. So we project our 1656 01:22:56,320 --> 01:22:59,280 Speaker 1: intentions onto other people's actions. So interesting, and so I'm 1657 01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,800 Speaker 1: project now, and so I'm being very honest and open 1658 01:23:02,880 --> 01:23:05,360 Speaker 1: about it. My wife and i've been together for ten years, 1659 01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:09,840 Speaker 1: long before I my public life, and we got married 1660 01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:14,639 Speaker 1: six years ago, and I started creating content online around 1661 01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:16,360 Speaker 1: the same time as we got married. We'd already been 1662 01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:19,839 Speaker 1: together for four years, and I've been creating offline content 1663 01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,680 Speaker 1: for ten years before I started doing online content. So 1664 01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:24,840 Speaker 1: I did events and I spoke and did seminars and 1665 01:23:24,880 --> 01:23:27,760 Speaker 1: workshops and coaching and all this stuff. Anyway, for the 1666 01:23:27,840 --> 01:23:31,599 Speaker 1: first three years of my content life, no one knew 1667 01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:35,439 Speaker 1: I was married. It wasn't that I didn't talk about it. 1668 01:23:35,479 --> 01:23:37,560 Speaker 1: It's that I used to make four minute videos on 1669 01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:40,519 Speaker 1: Facebook and YouTube, and those four minute videos were based 1670 01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:44,200 Speaker 1: on ideas. Long form content hadn't really taken off, and 1671 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:47,240 Speaker 1: I didn't really feel to post selfies with me and 1672 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:52,439 Speaker 1: my wife because I was gaining traction from talking about 1673 01:23:52,479 --> 01:23:55,560 Speaker 1: philosophy and psychology and ideas that I cared about. And 1674 01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:57,439 Speaker 1: we just got married too, and it was all new 1675 01:23:57,520 --> 01:23:59,040 Speaker 1: to us. It was like all of a sudden, like 1676 01:23:59,360 --> 01:24:01,120 Speaker 1: when I would that I was at a restaurant, people 1677 01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,160 Speaker 1: would turn up and things like that, And so I 1678 01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:05,960 Speaker 1: was very protective of my mom, my sister, my wife, 1679 01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:07,920 Speaker 1: and just everyone in my life. And then my first 1680 01:24:08,040 --> 01:24:11,320 Speaker 1: ever podcast episode was me interviewing my wife and us 1681 01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:13,639 Speaker 1: talking about how we met and our journey and everything 1682 01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:15,280 Speaker 1: else that came with that. And I was in twenty 1683 01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:18,919 Speaker 1: nineteen when we talked about it. I am so grateful 1684 01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,840 Speaker 1: that I didn't do it before then, because it gave 1685 01:24:21,920 --> 01:24:24,920 Speaker 1: my wife time to a acclimatize to the new life 1686 01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:30,439 Speaker 1: we'd created. It gave her a sense of stability and 1687 01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:32,080 Speaker 1: what we were doing and where we were going, and 1688 01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:34,400 Speaker 1: it helped me deal with what I needed to deal 1689 01:24:34,479 --> 01:24:36,800 Speaker 1: with in this journey. It wasn't something I would even 1690 01:24:36,840 --> 01:24:39,160 Speaker 1: say I was fully conscious of. I guess my question 1691 01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:43,479 Speaker 1: to you is, do you think having a relationship that 1692 01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:47,360 Speaker 1: you're open about but that is private consciously improves the 1693 01:24:47,439 --> 01:24:50,519 Speaker 1: quality of relationship you can build. I'm projecting that I 1694 01:24:50,640 --> 01:24:53,479 Speaker 1: think it's healthy, but you don't have to buy into 1695 01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:56,200 Speaker 1: my projection. You know what I'm gonna buy in, Okay, 1696 01:24:57,840 --> 01:25:03,080 Speaker 1: I do definitely, it's interesting because when I met my boyfriend, 1697 01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:06,400 Speaker 1: I had already podcasted about him before our first date, 1698 01:25:06,720 --> 01:25:10,599 Speaker 1: and he I remember podcasting. I was in Los Angeles 1699 01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:14,400 Speaker 1: and we were going to a dinner and I'm podcasting 1700 01:25:14,439 --> 01:25:16,800 Speaker 1: about my wants and my knees and all the things 1701 01:25:16,840 --> 01:25:19,280 Speaker 1: that I'm expecting for this date to go this. I 1702 01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:22,200 Speaker 1: had never met this man in my life. Classic Alex 1703 01:25:22,280 --> 01:25:24,080 Speaker 1: just going for it for the podcast. Got to give 1704 01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:26,439 Speaker 1: the daddy game what they want. And I show up 1705 01:25:26,479 --> 01:25:27,920 Speaker 1: to the date and halfway through, I'm like, Oh, you're 1706 01:25:27,920 --> 01:25:30,720 Speaker 1: gonna be on next week's episode. And he's a very 1707 01:25:30,840 --> 01:25:33,960 Speaker 1: private person and he was like what. And I was like, 1708 01:25:34,280 --> 01:25:35,640 Speaker 1: it's gonna be so good. And then I'm going to 1709 01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:37,280 Speaker 1: go back and record whatever happens at the end of 1710 01:25:37,320 --> 01:25:40,960 Speaker 1: the night, and he was like so shocked. I will 1711 01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,280 Speaker 1: say I think he thought it was quite charming. I 1712 01:25:43,439 --> 01:25:44,960 Speaker 1: love how men are always like, oh I don't want 1713 01:25:44,960 --> 01:25:47,479 Speaker 1: to be on. They love being on. But with him, 1714 01:25:47,600 --> 01:25:49,680 Speaker 1: it was interesting because I went all the way in 1715 01:25:49,800 --> 01:25:51,760 Speaker 1: and I started talking about him from the beginning, and 1716 01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:55,360 Speaker 1: then I had to pull it back because I realized, oh, well, 1717 01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:59,599 Speaker 1: this is a real relationship and I have so much 1718 01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:04,240 Speaker 1: respect for him. And he's in the entertainment industry, but 1719 01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:08,560 Speaker 1: he's private and he in a great way. This is 1720 01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:11,360 Speaker 1: how I knew he was the one. He never said, 1721 01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:16,560 Speaker 1: don't talk about me, but he asked that we just 1722 01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:20,439 Speaker 1: have conversations about it and just keep talking about it. 1723 01:26:20,800 --> 01:26:23,800 Speaker 1: And I've had past relationships where it was like, f 1724 01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:26,240 Speaker 1: your show, I don't care. And he has such a 1725 01:26:26,360 --> 01:26:30,559 Speaker 1: respect for my craft that he recognizes that is kind 1726 01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:32,560 Speaker 1: of what you do for living, and your life is 1727 01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:37,640 Speaker 1: your living. But I did start to pull back, and 1728 01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:41,160 Speaker 1: I know it's not fun to hear, but my relationship 1729 01:26:41,200 --> 01:26:43,439 Speaker 1: couldn't be better because of it. All of a sudden, 1730 01:26:43,760 --> 01:26:45,680 Speaker 1: he didn't have to wake up in the morning and 1731 01:26:45,760 --> 01:26:48,280 Speaker 1: press play and listen to what I said, and we 1732 01:26:48,479 --> 01:26:52,679 Speaker 1: weren't getting DMS about our relationship and it really allowed 1733 01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:55,600 Speaker 1: us to just be present of Hey, do we like 1734 01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:59,160 Speaker 1: each other. I've said to people, and I'm not judging 1735 01:26:59,240 --> 01:27:02,320 Speaker 1: people that on social media with their partner. I always 1736 01:27:02,360 --> 01:27:04,519 Speaker 1: just like to check myself and then I just tell 1737 01:27:04,560 --> 01:27:06,720 Speaker 1: people what I'm doing and if you want to do 1738 01:27:06,880 --> 01:27:10,559 Speaker 1: it too. But it's like there's some relationships I worry, 1739 01:27:11,280 --> 01:27:15,280 Speaker 1: are you just together still? Because the public loves you 1740 01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:18,519 Speaker 1: and that is not healthy. And I think that with 1741 01:27:18,640 --> 01:27:21,280 Speaker 1: social media, people can become addicted to the concept of 1742 01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,080 Speaker 1: this perfect relationship and what it looks like, Well, what 1743 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:27,000 Speaker 1: is it like behind closed doors? I am so fortunate 1744 01:27:27,080 --> 01:27:29,280 Speaker 1: that I don't have that with my partner. I'm with 1745 01:27:29,479 --> 01:27:32,880 Speaker 1: him because I love him and I love our relationship 1746 01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:35,599 Speaker 1: and none of it is contingent upon either of our jobs. 1747 01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:38,439 Speaker 1: So that's been very healthy. Was it hard? Yeah? Of 1748 01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,719 Speaker 1: course there's great content in there, and occasionally I will share, 1749 01:27:42,600 --> 01:27:46,840 Speaker 1: but I told my listeners one rule that I implemented 1750 01:27:46,880 --> 01:27:50,560 Speaker 1: with my partner was if we have an argument or 1751 01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,760 Speaker 1: a fight or a disagreement or whatever, and it's an 1752 01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:55,559 Speaker 1: open wound at the time for the relationship. I made 1753 01:27:55,600 --> 01:27:57,840 Speaker 1: the mistake once of going and talking about it on 1754 01:27:57,880 --> 01:28:00,519 Speaker 1: the podcast too soon that we had an e and healed. 1755 01:28:00,680 --> 01:28:03,600 Speaker 1: And my partner is so mature that he was like, 1756 01:28:03,680 --> 01:28:05,720 Speaker 1: I love you so much, but I think we need 1757 01:28:05,920 --> 01:28:09,679 Speaker 1: boundaries because hearing that is not fun and it almost 1758 01:28:09,720 --> 01:28:11,920 Speaker 1: made it worse for me because we haven't resolved it. 1759 01:28:12,000 --> 01:28:14,000 Speaker 1: And so now I have this like I have a 1760 01:28:14,040 --> 01:28:16,120 Speaker 1: boundary where it's like a couple months later, I can 1761 01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:17,800 Speaker 1: totally talk about it because he was like, some of 1762 01:28:17,840 --> 01:28:20,800 Speaker 1: our arguments are great for couples to think about and 1763 01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:23,760 Speaker 1: talk about. Um, they're very relatable. But I think in 1764 01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:26,599 Speaker 1: the moment, it's always good to just put my relationship first. 1765 01:28:26,600 --> 01:28:28,080 Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean I'm not putting the show first. 1766 01:28:28,120 --> 01:28:30,880 Speaker 1: It's just having a good set boundary that I didn't 1767 01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:33,880 Speaker 1: have before. And I'm really really happy I've done it. Yeah, 1768 01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:35,920 Speaker 1: I've loved hearing today about how many different boundaries you 1769 01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:41,600 Speaker 1: put into different areas. Yeah, winning a boundary setting like no, 1770 01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:44,000 Speaker 1: but it's so important because I think the problem is 1771 01:28:44,120 --> 01:28:48,000 Speaker 1: that we think of life as either or and life 1772 01:28:48,120 --> 01:28:50,800 Speaker 1: is more boundaries and layers and levels. And it's like 1773 01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:53,000 Speaker 1: we think I'm either close to this person or i'm not, 1774 01:28:53,439 --> 01:28:56,760 Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, you're closer to this person than 1775 01:28:56,880 --> 01:28:59,200 Speaker 1: this person. It's not that you're close or not. And 1776 01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:02,360 Speaker 1: I think when you start looking at life as degrees 1777 01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:05,000 Speaker 1: and you know, you see a little ripple and different 1778 01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:08,840 Speaker 1: degrees versus like yes or no. Absolutely, And I think 1779 01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:12,360 Speaker 1: the concept of again this is all for public consumption, 1780 01:29:12,920 --> 01:29:17,120 Speaker 1: posting your partner for people in my case that don't 1781 01:29:17,360 --> 01:29:19,719 Speaker 1: I don't know right, and even a lot of people 1782 01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:21,720 Speaker 1: even if you have a thousand followers on Instagram? Do 1783 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:24,720 Speaker 1: you have a thousand friends? Absolutely not, Becky, Okay, you 1784 01:29:24,800 --> 01:29:26,880 Speaker 1: do not have a thousand friends. So I always am 1785 01:29:26,920 --> 01:29:29,759 Speaker 1: also just like, what is the motive behind posting your partner? 1786 01:29:29,960 --> 01:29:32,880 Speaker 1: Is it to get validation that you're not getting in 1787 01:29:32,880 --> 01:29:35,880 Speaker 1: the relationship? Is it to seek approval? Is it to 1788 01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:39,599 Speaker 1: show off something that you're proud of? But well, if 1789 01:29:39,640 --> 01:29:42,000 Speaker 1: you were super you know, confident, like would you need 1790 01:29:42,120 --> 01:29:45,160 Speaker 1: that exterior validation? Right? And again I'm not saying not 1791 01:29:45,240 --> 01:29:47,320 Speaker 1: to post your partner, it's really just I think with 1792 01:29:47,479 --> 01:29:50,320 Speaker 1: social media, we've been so quick to just throw stuff 1793 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,160 Speaker 1: off about our life, and it's like, well, why are 1794 01:29:53,200 --> 01:29:55,519 Speaker 1: you doing that? Who was that for? Why do you 1795 01:29:55,600 --> 01:29:57,800 Speaker 1: feel the need to show people that you don't even 1796 01:29:57,920 --> 01:30:00,599 Speaker 1: know how your relationship is going and write these long 1797 01:30:00,680 --> 01:30:03,759 Speaker 1: captions about it. I totally get trying to connect with people, 1798 01:30:04,479 --> 01:30:06,479 Speaker 1: but there is a level that I started to find 1799 01:30:06,520 --> 01:30:08,200 Speaker 1: of like, m I think I'm just doing this because 1800 01:30:08,240 --> 01:30:11,680 Speaker 1: this is like is helping content. It's not good for 1801 01:30:11,760 --> 01:30:14,000 Speaker 1: my relationship. I need to pull back. Yeah, And I 1802 01:30:14,120 --> 01:30:16,640 Speaker 1: love that who It's four question because I do that 1803 01:30:16,760 --> 01:30:19,360 Speaker 1: exercise with myself and I post stuff like I post 1804 01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:22,240 Speaker 1: certain things and I know no one cares, but I 1805 01:30:22,479 --> 01:30:24,519 Speaker 1: really care about it, like it's really like it's a 1806 01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,680 Speaker 1: big deal for me or whatever. And then I'll post 1807 01:30:26,760 --> 01:30:28,160 Speaker 1: and I'll already tell to him of like, do not 1808 01:30:28,240 --> 01:30:30,040 Speaker 1: look at the likes, do not look at the comments. 1809 01:30:30,240 --> 01:30:32,479 Speaker 1: I know it's going to do terribly, but it's really 1810 01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:34,680 Speaker 1: important to me, and I want it to be out 1811 01:30:34,760 --> 01:30:38,200 Speaker 1: there because to me, that's really really powerful. And obviously 1812 01:30:38,280 --> 01:30:41,000 Speaker 1: we we only put out things that we think are powerful, 1813 01:30:41,040 --> 01:30:42,800 Speaker 1: of course, but there are certain things that I know 1814 01:30:43,439 --> 01:30:45,519 Speaker 1: no one cares about it part from me. And at 1815 01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:47,200 Speaker 1: the same time, I think for me, what I was 1816 01:30:47,240 --> 01:30:49,680 Speaker 1: getting out was that three years of being married for 1817 01:30:49,760 --> 01:30:51,679 Speaker 1: me and my wife gave us a sense of getting 1818 01:30:51,760 --> 01:30:55,080 Speaker 1: to know each other in that way without having to 1819 01:30:55,240 --> 01:30:58,519 Speaker 1: deal with any opinions any like right now, all we 1820 01:30:58,600 --> 01:31:00,880 Speaker 1: ever get when we post anything, you guys like brother 1821 01:31:00,920 --> 01:31:04,160 Speaker 1: and sister. I'm like, that's like, that's not what I 1822 01:31:04,200 --> 01:31:06,320 Speaker 1: would have wanted to hear when we just got married. 1823 01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:09,400 Speaker 1: So I'm very happy that we did in because that's 1824 01:31:09,439 --> 01:31:11,080 Speaker 1: all we ever get. And so I'm like, all right, 1825 01:31:11,120 --> 01:31:13,200 Speaker 1: this is great, Like so that's the thing you're never 1826 01:31:13,360 --> 01:31:15,720 Speaker 1: gonna it's there's always going to be the negative, and 1827 01:31:15,840 --> 01:31:19,960 Speaker 1: so that's what Also I'm I'm really protective of it 1828 01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:22,880 Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm so happy, he's so happy. Our 1829 01:31:22,920 --> 01:31:26,040 Speaker 1: families love each other, we're doing good. We are by 1830 01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:29,400 Speaker 1: no means a perfect couple. But I have no interest 1831 01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:32,760 Speaker 1: right now in opening that up for public consumption to 1832 01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:36,519 Speaker 1: just have an opinion. I don't need it. I want 1833 01:31:36,560 --> 01:31:38,519 Speaker 1: to know. Am I in this because I like him? 1834 01:31:39,280 --> 01:31:43,120 Speaker 1: That's it? Yeah, great, stick with it. Last question on relationships, 1835 01:31:43,160 --> 01:31:44,760 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people ask, like, you know, 1836 01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:46,240 Speaker 1: what do you look for in someone? I think for 1837 01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:48,560 Speaker 1: me it's the opposite way around, Like what do you 1838 01:31:48,720 --> 01:31:52,280 Speaker 1: think you want someone to bring out in you that 1839 01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:54,960 Speaker 1: you see as a healthy relationship? Like what are you 1840 01:31:55,160 --> 01:31:58,200 Speaker 1: happy being when you're in a good place. I'm a lot. 1841 01:31:59,439 --> 01:32:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm self aware enough to know I'm a lot. And really, 1842 01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:03,639 Speaker 1: when I say I'm a lot, I think my job 1843 01:32:03,760 --> 01:32:09,160 Speaker 1: is a lot, right, And I am so passionate. Like 1844 01:32:09,280 --> 01:32:11,320 Speaker 1: I've said, I've been doing this since I was so young. 1845 01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:14,280 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be making these videos. No one was seeing them. 1846 01:32:14,479 --> 01:32:16,000 Speaker 1: I was acting like they were going to be up 1847 01:32:16,040 --> 01:32:18,160 Speaker 1: for an Academy award. No one was my parents were 1848 01:32:18,160 --> 01:32:23,080 Speaker 1: barely watching them. They're awful yet it's shocking. They're like, 1849 01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:25,040 Speaker 1: We're going to play it one day at your wedding. 1850 01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:27,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, so I'm not getting married then. But the 1851 01:32:27,520 --> 01:32:33,760 Speaker 1: point is is I I have always felt like what 1852 01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:37,560 Speaker 1: I'm doing and my passion is so a part of me, 1853 01:32:37,960 --> 01:32:41,680 Speaker 1: and I need a partner that is going to support me, 1854 01:32:42,120 --> 01:32:45,599 Speaker 1: especially in a heterosexual relationship. Can a man be okay 1855 01:32:45,680 --> 01:32:49,200 Speaker 1: with I'm okay if I'm the breadwinner. It's not the case. 1856 01:32:49,280 --> 01:32:52,160 Speaker 1: My relationship were pretty equal, But it's like, I need 1857 01:32:52,280 --> 01:32:54,400 Speaker 1: to be able to be myself and I need my 1858 01:32:54,479 --> 01:32:57,200 Speaker 1: partner to not be intimidated by my success, not try 1859 01:32:57,280 --> 01:33:00,160 Speaker 1: to hold me down. Let me be me and you 1860 01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:02,320 Speaker 1: be you, and if we come together and we make 1861 01:33:02,360 --> 01:33:05,760 Speaker 1: each other better, amazing. But I've had relationships with men 1862 01:33:05,880 --> 01:33:09,120 Speaker 1: where they were extremely intimidated by my success and it 1863 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:13,240 Speaker 1: was constantly trying to push me down, language that was 1864 01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:15,800 Speaker 1: semi abusive, of trying to make me feel less than, 1865 01:33:16,240 --> 01:33:19,360 Speaker 1: and it was really toxic and it affected me. And 1866 01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:21,720 Speaker 1: now being in a healthy relationship with someone that it's like, 1867 01:33:22,240 --> 01:33:25,719 Speaker 1: you are incredible, I support you is like my number 1868 01:33:25,760 --> 01:33:29,240 Speaker 1: one cheerleader. That to me is the hottest thing that 1869 01:33:29,360 --> 01:33:31,679 Speaker 1: someone can do. And I'm so attracted to my partner 1870 01:33:31,720 --> 01:33:35,479 Speaker 1: because of that. I also think someone that is so honest. 1871 01:33:36,200 --> 01:33:38,600 Speaker 1: My partner is so honest with me. Sometimes I'm like, 1872 01:33:38,920 --> 01:33:41,160 Speaker 1: oh my god, it's like I'm not used to the honesty. 1873 01:33:41,200 --> 01:33:43,880 Speaker 1: And I really respect that because I am a noble person. 1874 01:33:44,120 --> 01:33:46,599 Speaker 1: I'm like, what's up, what's going on? And to meet 1875 01:33:46,680 --> 01:33:49,839 Speaker 1: my match kind of with that, we do no dance arounds, 1876 01:33:50,120 --> 01:33:51,920 Speaker 1: like it is just like what is up? And I 1877 01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:53,639 Speaker 1: know some people don't like that. You need a little 1878 01:33:53,720 --> 01:33:56,679 Speaker 1: like cushion. I am like, hit me where it hurts, 1879 01:33:56,760 --> 01:33:59,040 Speaker 1: let's get this over with. So I think those two 1880 01:33:59,120 --> 01:34:02,840 Speaker 1: things the honest um and also just allowing me to 1881 01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:04,919 Speaker 1: be who I am. And I know it sounds pretty straightforward, 1882 01:34:04,920 --> 01:34:07,960 Speaker 1: but a lot of people try to change each other. 1883 01:34:08,080 --> 01:34:13,200 Speaker 1: You're laughing, What did I say? Janie's like, I I relate. No, no, yeah, 1884 01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:16,280 Speaker 1: I'm laughing because you literally there's something you said that 1885 01:34:16,439 --> 01:34:19,759 Speaker 1: just like just totally remind me if some on this weekend. 1886 01:34:19,800 --> 01:34:23,439 Speaker 1: So anyway, but Gary, yeah, Okay, the point is is 1887 01:34:23,720 --> 01:34:27,120 Speaker 1: you I've learned in relationships, like you talked about projection. 1888 01:34:27,680 --> 01:34:31,439 Speaker 1: There's so much projection if you don't work on yourself 1889 01:34:31,640 --> 01:34:34,400 Speaker 1: and whatever your form of therapy for yourself is. If 1890 01:34:34,439 --> 01:34:36,600 Speaker 1: you don't know who you are, you're going to go 1891 01:34:36,720 --> 01:34:39,720 Speaker 1: into a relationship and quite literally look for the things 1892 01:34:39,840 --> 01:34:42,720 Speaker 1: you want out of that person. And you're going to 1893 01:34:42,760 --> 01:34:45,599 Speaker 1: be put unrealistic expectations onto this person and you don't 1894 01:34:45,600 --> 01:34:47,120 Speaker 1: even know if you actually like them, because you're just 1895 01:34:47,160 --> 01:34:49,800 Speaker 1: trying to get what you want. It's like, wait, you 1896 01:34:49,840 --> 01:34:52,080 Speaker 1: don't even like the homie, like get out of here like. 1897 01:34:52,360 --> 01:34:54,280 Speaker 1: And so I think stripping it down to do you 1898 01:34:54,360 --> 01:34:56,000 Speaker 1: like them as who they are as a human being, 1899 01:34:56,360 --> 01:34:58,639 Speaker 1: and not honestly also for how they make you feel 1900 01:34:58,640 --> 01:35:00,360 Speaker 1: all the time? Do you like them as an individual? 1901 01:35:00,439 --> 01:35:02,160 Speaker 1: And due to match up, of course you want them 1902 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:03,760 Speaker 1: to make you feel good. But I think sometimes we 1903 01:35:03,880 --> 01:35:06,559 Speaker 1: project our wants and our needs and everything onto a person. 1904 01:35:06,640 --> 01:35:10,120 Speaker 1: It's like, hold on, work on your own, and then 1905 01:35:10,240 --> 01:35:12,080 Speaker 1: come back and see if you like the person, because 1906 01:35:12,080 --> 01:35:14,360 Speaker 1: a lot of times the person you're with is just 1907 01:35:14,479 --> 01:35:17,000 Speaker 1: fulfilling something that's an insecurati of yours. If you filled 1908 01:35:17,040 --> 01:35:20,920 Speaker 1: that insecurity, would you still need to be with that person? Absolutely? 1909 01:35:22,280 --> 01:35:25,920 Speaker 1: Therapy session okay, no, I love it. I love it. 1910 01:35:25,960 --> 01:35:28,720 Speaker 1: You remind So I was doing something important last week 1911 01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:32,240 Speaker 1: and my wife is doing something important as being at 1912 01:35:32,240 --> 01:35:35,600 Speaker 1: a wedding. I was going to open this entire episode with, so, 1913 01:35:35,720 --> 01:35:38,200 Speaker 1: how is a wedding? I'm gonna interview, I will tell 1914 01:35:38,200 --> 01:35:40,720 Speaker 1: you that. I'll tell you about it offline. I'll tell 1915 01:35:40,760 --> 01:35:43,040 Speaker 1: you about offline. But I was preparing for something last week, 1916 01:35:43,560 --> 01:35:47,160 Speaker 1: and my wife is that person to me, so I 1917 01:35:47,320 --> 01:35:49,040 Speaker 1: know that. And I have an amazing team is very 1918 01:35:49,080 --> 01:35:51,439 Speaker 1: honest for me, for sure, Like I definitely like we 1919 01:35:51,640 --> 01:35:54,160 Speaker 1: literally were look, we're looking at their headshots for like 1920 01:35:54,280 --> 01:35:56,200 Speaker 1: my book coming out next year, and so the team 1921 01:35:56,320 --> 01:35:58,120 Speaker 1: is like look, and we were like no, no, no, 1922 01:35:58,320 --> 01:36:00,559 Speaker 1: Like I'm doing it with my team, and it's always 1923 01:36:00,600 --> 01:36:02,760 Speaker 1: the most painfully thing. I'm looking at your own face 1924 01:36:02,800 --> 01:36:05,280 Speaker 1: and all yeah and anyway, but my wife like takes 1925 01:36:05,320 --> 01:36:07,439 Speaker 1: it to another level. So she's like, all right, do 1926 01:36:07,479 --> 01:36:08,880 Speaker 1: your speech in front of me. So I'm like, all right, 1927 01:36:08,880 --> 01:36:11,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, and and I'd set myself up 1928 01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:13,880 Speaker 1: for it every time because I know she's gonna give 1929 01:36:13,920 --> 01:36:17,080 Speaker 1: me really good feedback. But my male ego can't take it. 1930 01:36:17,520 --> 01:36:19,880 Speaker 1: So I'll do it and then she'd be like, oh, yeah, 1931 01:36:19,920 --> 01:36:21,600 Speaker 1: but this part didn't make sense. I'm like, no, but 1932 01:36:21,720 --> 01:36:23,840 Speaker 1: this is why I did it that way. He's just like, 1933 01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:25,880 Speaker 1: but i'm telling you the viewer, and you're not going 1934 01:36:25,960 --> 01:36:28,360 Speaker 1: to be able to explain to everyone why you said earlier. 1935 01:36:28,439 --> 01:36:29,840 Speaker 1: And I'm getting and I guess you'd be defensive. And 1936 01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:32,160 Speaker 1: then she's like, but say like this, and then I'm like, no, 1937 01:36:32,280 --> 01:36:33,880 Speaker 1: but the way you just said it didn't sound good anyway. 1938 01:36:33,880 --> 01:36:37,160 Speaker 1: And it's like, I get so defensive, but she's and 1939 01:36:37,200 --> 01:36:40,040 Speaker 1: then I took all of it and I did it 1940 01:36:40,120 --> 01:36:42,840 Speaker 1: exactly that way. That is that is iconic. Also, my 1941 01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:44,439 Speaker 1: boyfriend did that. He had a speech he had to 1942 01:36:44,439 --> 01:36:46,280 Speaker 1: do with his brother's wedding, and we were upstairs in 1943 01:36:46,280 --> 01:36:48,400 Speaker 1: the room and he's practicing his pacings, freaking out, and 1944 01:36:48,439 --> 01:36:50,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's coming off weird when you say it 1945 01:36:50,560 --> 01:36:52,160 Speaker 1: like that, it's not hitting. You're trying to be funny. 1946 01:36:52,240 --> 01:36:55,160 Speaker 1: You're not funny, okay. He's like, oh okay, And I 1947 01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:58,240 Speaker 1: was trying to give constructive feedback and he was freaking 1948 01:36:58,280 --> 01:37:00,240 Speaker 1: out and he's like losing his mind, and I'm like, 1949 01:37:00,320 --> 01:37:03,160 Speaker 1: sit down, let me rewrite it for you. I'm the 1950 01:37:03,240 --> 01:37:06,280 Speaker 1: comedian the relationship. Let's move forward. And it was funny though, 1951 01:37:06,280 --> 01:37:08,760 Speaker 1: because he was really freaking out. But then at the 1952 01:37:08,840 --> 01:37:10,080 Speaker 1: end of the day he's like, Okay, I trust you. 1953 01:37:10,240 --> 01:37:12,559 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. You got your little pushing pull, and then 1954 01:37:12,600 --> 01:37:14,200 Speaker 1: you're like, okay, should I trust you? Yeah? And then 1955 01:37:14,240 --> 01:37:15,920 Speaker 1: there's some stuff that I just hide from her in 1956 01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:18,599 Speaker 1: the practice because I know I want to do it anyway, 1957 01:37:19,040 --> 01:37:20,800 Speaker 1: and so then I don't show her that bit and 1958 01:37:20,920 --> 01:37:22,760 Speaker 1: she was like, oh, that bit was really good. I'm like, see, 1959 01:37:22,800 --> 01:37:24,439 Speaker 1: if I showed it to you would have thought it 1960 01:37:24,520 --> 01:37:27,080 Speaker 1: was good. But the constructive criticism was good. And then 1961 01:37:27,120 --> 01:37:29,360 Speaker 1: you added your little flare at it. Oh right, well yeah, okay, 1962 01:37:29,479 --> 01:37:33,960 Speaker 1: exactly exactly, Alex. We end every on Purpose episode with 1963 01:37:34,880 --> 01:37:37,920 Speaker 1: two now too. You're the first person to ever do this. Okay, 1964 01:37:38,240 --> 01:37:40,120 Speaker 1: So we have our fast five, but we also have 1965 01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:43,320 Speaker 1: our new segment, which very aptly is called The Many 1966 01:37:43,360 --> 01:37:46,519 Speaker 1: Sides of You One Word. We're still figure out the name. 1967 01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:49,200 Speaker 1: We're getting there, we're getting there, but we're gonna do this. 1968 01:37:49,320 --> 01:37:50,760 Speaker 1: So what this is is you're going to give a 1969 01:37:50,840 --> 01:37:53,960 Speaker 1: word for every one of these things, just one word. 1970 01:37:54,040 --> 01:37:57,040 Speaker 1: Oh God, And it's all about you, so are you ready? 1971 01:37:57,200 --> 01:37:59,840 Speaker 1: I don't know if I like that. Okay, all right, 1972 01:38:00,520 --> 01:38:03,840 Speaker 1: What is a word or phrase to describe what someone 1973 01:38:03,920 --> 01:38:05,760 Speaker 1: would say about you when they meet you for the 1974 01:38:05,800 --> 01:38:12,920 Speaker 1: first time. I would say warm and trustworthy, which is 1975 01:38:13,000 --> 01:38:15,479 Speaker 1: really weird. Oh I forgot you said warm in the beginning. 1976 01:38:15,840 --> 01:38:19,479 Speaker 1: I yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. I've had a 1977 01:38:19,520 --> 01:38:22,439 Speaker 1: lot of people that just I think again on social media, 1978 01:38:22,479 --> 01:38:23,760 Speaker 1: you think one thing of me and then you meet 1979 01:38:23,760 --> 01:38:26,120 Speaker 1: me and you're like, oh wait, like she's I had. 1980 01:38:26,280 --> 01:38:28,200 Speaker 1: I had a waitress I met this past week and 1981 01:38:28,280 --> 01:38:30,080 Speaker 1: she DMed me after him was like, I didn't think 1982 01:38:30,120 --> 01:38:32,320 Speaker 1: you'd be that nice. I'm like, guys, I'm I'm not 1983 01:38:32,520 --> 01:38:35,240 Speaker 1: a scary person, but I do think I have a 1984 01:38:35,360 --> 01:38:38,200 Speaker 1: warmth that makes people feel really comfortable. Yeah I believe, 1985 01:38:38,200 --> 01:38:41,160 Speaker 1: I agree. Okay. What is the word someone that knows 1986 01:38:41,200 --> 01:38:44,160 Speaker 1: you very well would use to describe you? Or a phrase? Oh, 1987 01:38:44,760 --> 01:38:49,280 Speaker 1: determined sometimes scary. I think my boyfriend and my parents 1988 01:38:49,320 --> 01:38:51,000 Speaker 1: are like, oh god, here she goes like, I'm like, 1989 01:38:51,120 --> 01:38:53,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna finish this and it's gonna be the best thing. 1990 01:38:53,200 --> 01:38:55,080 Speaker 1: They're like, okay, just get out of her way. Here 1991 01:38:55,120 --> 01:38:58,400 Speaker 1: she goes like, very determined, I love that. What is 1992 01:38:58,439 --> 01:39:00,960 Speaker 1: a word or phrase you would you just to describe yourself? 1993 01:39:01,680 --> 01:39:07,080 Speaker 1: Loyal and passionate. Those two things like resonate so much 1994 01:39:07,120 --> 01:39:10,000 Speaker 1: with me in two completely different ways. But a part 1995 01:39:10,040 --> 01:39:12,880 Speaker 1: of who I am truly is my craft, and I'm 1996 01:39:12,960 --> 01:39:14,920 Speaker 1: so passionate about it. Even if I made no money 1997 01:39:15,000 --> 01:39:16,639 Speaker 1: on it tomorrow, I would go back. I would still 1998 01:39:16,680 --> 01:39:19,599 Speaker 1: be making content. And I'm also passionate about anything I'm 1999 01:39:19,640 --> 01:39:21,599 Speaker 1: doing in my life. I have to be passionate about 2000 01:39:21,720 --> 01:39:24,600 Speaker 1: my family, by relationships, my friends, and loyalty to me 2001 01:39:24,760 --> 01:39:28,519 Speaker 1: is number one. I respect anyone that's loyal and to me, 2002 01:39:28,680 --> 01:39:31,200 Speaker 1: it's like the number one thing on the list of 2003 01:39:31,520 --> 01:39:33,360 Speaker 1: something in a relationship that I look for, and I 2004 01:39:33,560 --> 01:39:36,160 Speaker 1: take pride in being loyal. I love that. That's beautiful. 2005 01:39:36,200 --> 01:39:38,559 Speaker 1: I love those qualities easier than asking you what your 2006 01:39:38,640 --> 01:39:41,880 Speaker 1: values are. I like it. Yeah. What is the word 2007 01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:45,000 Speaker 1: that maybe someone who doesn't like you would say about you? 2008 01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:51,000 Speaker 1: How would they describe you? Cocky? Damn right, damn right, 2009 01:39:51,080 --> 01:39:53,680 Speaker 1: you gotta be? And the last one, what is the 2010 01:39:53,720 --> 01:39:55,920 Speaker 1: word of phrase you're trying to embody something that you're 2011 01:39:55,920 --> 01:40:00,720 Speaker 1: working on right now? Intentional? I really I'm trying to 2012 01:40:01,560 --> 01:40:05,040 Speaker 1: in every aspect of my life, always ask what does 2013 01:40:05,080 --> 01:40:08,240 Speaker 1: the objective? Try to be more intentional about things, because 2014 01:40:08,240 --> 01:40:11,400 Speaker 1: I think when you do things with care, everything is better, 2015 01:40:11,520 --> 01:40:14,240 Speaker 1: People feel better about it, You feel better, and also 2016 01:40:14,400 --> 01:40:17,839 Speaker 1: it just there's a different radiating effect when you're intentional 2017 01:40:17,880 --> 01:40:20,760 Speaker 1: about things. So whether it's in my relationships or my craft, like, 2018 01:40:20,880 --> 01:40:24,280 Speaker 1: I'm very trying to be intentional, especially this year. I 2019 01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:26,200 Speaker 1: love that. That's a great word. This is a good game. 2020 01:40:26,240 --> 01:40:28,000 Speaker 1: That's great, you did good, you did good? All right, 2021 01:40:28,080 --> 01:40:30,080 Speaker 1: these these are the final five. Before we do that, 2022 01:40:30,120 --> 01:40:31,679 Speaker 1: I want to ask you, Alex, like, was there anything 2023 01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:35,439 Speaker 1: that you shared that you or sorry, anything you haven't 2024 01:40:35,479 --> 01:40:37,240 Speaker 1: shared today that you really wanted to share or something 2025 01:40:37,280 --> 01:40:39,360 Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about. And I mean I'm asking 2026 01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:41,840 Speaker 1: this online offline as just to honor you in terms 2027 01:40:41,840 --> 01:40:43,560 Speaker 1: of if there is there something that we've missed or 2028 01:40:44,080 --> 01:40:45,559 Speaker 1: do you want do you want to dive more into 2029 01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:47,840 Speaker 1: like and I'm happy to do because I could talk 2030 01:40:47,840 --> 01:40:49,720 Speaker 1: to you about is I have no time limit. I'm 2031 01:40:49,720 --> 01:40:51,720 Speaker 1: happy to dive into you with like talking more about 2032 01:40:51,760 --> 01:40:54,080 Speaker 1: the entrepreneurship side and the cross side and the business side. 2033 01:40:54,120 --> 01:40:56,960 Speaker 1: I mean, I think in a really cool way, I didn't. 2034 01:40:57,000 --> 01:40:58,519 Speaker 1: I didn't know where this was going to go today, 2035 01:40:58,600 --> 01:41:03,120 Speaker 1: and I'm really happy. I hope that who I am 2036 01:41:03,320 --> 01:41:06,200 Speaker 1: behind the camera kind of came out today. And I 2037 01:41:06,280 --> 01:41:08,600 Speaker 1: guess I would just say to anyone listening, and this 2038 01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:10,640 Speaker 1: is not like a plug for my show, it's more 2039 01:41:10,720 --> 01:41:14,639 Speaker 1: like I really I think this year, I've tried to start, 2040 01:41:14,760 --> 01:41:17,519 Speaker 1: especially when I'm sitting down with people, to give people 2041 01:41:17,600 --> 01:41:19,519 Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt and a chance to hear 2042 01:41:19,680 --> 01:41:22,360 Speaker 1: even if I have misconceptions about someone. And so I 2043 01:41:22,520 --> 01:41:27,040 Speaker 1: just hope anyone listening, if you maybe had a judgment 2044 01:41:27,080 --> 01:41:29,360 Speaker 1: about call her Daddy back in the past or of me, 2045 01:41:29,960 --> 01:41:33,479 Speaker 1: I ask just to be open minded and kind of 2046 01:41:33,560 --> 01:41:36,759 Speaker 1: just give it another chance, because one, I think everyone 2047 01:41:36,840 --> 01:41:39,960 Speaker 1: deserves that, and too, I really am proud of what 2048 01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:41,640 Speaker 1: I'm doing, and I'm proud of the show in the 2049 01:41:41,680 --> 01:41:43,760 Speaker 1: direction it's taken. Not to say that I'm not proud 2050 01:41:43,800 --> 01:41:46,880 Speaker 1: of the past, but I think people would be surprised 2051 01:41:46,960 --> 01:41:49,360 Speaker 1: at where it's gone and how much it's grown. And 2052 01:41:49,720 --> 01:41:51,960 Speaker 1: I just would ask for a chance and give it 2053 01:41:52,040 --> 01:41:56,040 Speaker 1: a listen, and yeah, that's it. I love that. I 2054 01:41:56,160 --> 01:41:59,200 Speaker 1: love that and you're doing it, and honestly, for like 2055 01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:00,680 Speaker 1: I keep saying you don't need it from me, but 2056 01:42:01,200 --> 01:42:04,719 Speaker 1: whatever it's worth. It's like, I just love watching people 2057 01:42:04,800 --> 01:42:06,920 Speaker 1: grow and try new things and take risks and like 2058 01:42:07,600 --> 01:42:09,560 Speaker 1: do something that's fresh and new. And then everything you 2059 01:42:09,640 --> 01:42:12,519 Speaker 1: said about impact and responsibility and even the interviews you 2060 01:42:12,600 --> 01:42:15,120 Speaker 1: have done, like for me, it's it's beautiful to watch that. 2061 01:42:15,240 --> 01:42:19,080 Speaker 1: And so you know, congrats not on this external success 2062 01:42:19,120 --> 01:42:22,439 Speaker 1: of course on that, but more on like doing the 2063 01:42:22,560 --> 01:42:25,360 Speaker 1: hard thing right, Like that's what's more interesting to me. 2064 01:42:25,439 --> 01:42:27,639 Speaker 1: And I think as a creator and as a host, 2065 01:42:27,720 --> 01:42:31,160 Speaker 1: it's like doing the hard thing. It's like to keep 2066 01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:36,760 Speaker 1: feeding whatever everything on everyone wants is easy, but to 2067 01:42:36,840 --> 01:42:39,479 Speaker 1: actually switch and say I've changed, I've grown, I've evolved, 2068 01:42:39,800 --> 01:42:42,639 Speaker 1: and this is where I'm going now. And that's where 2069 01:42:43,240 --> 01:42:46,240 Speaker 1: so many people at fifty sixty, seventy years old feel 2070 01:42:46,280 --> 01:42:49,400 Speaker 1: so empty because for the last twenty five years they 2071 01:42:49,479 --> 01:42:51,679 Speaker 1: just did what other people wanted them to do totally, 2072 01:42:51,760 --> 01:42:53,479 Speaker 1: and it's like, you gotta go for it. I just 2073 01:42:53,479 --> 01:42:56,240 Speaker 1: don't want to be in that position now. Anyone listening, 2074 01:42:56,360 --> 01:42:58,479 Speaker 1: If you've wanted to do something, you gotta go for it, 2075 01:42:58,520 --> 01:43:00,519 Speaker 1: because we have literally no idea how much time we 2076 01:43:00,600 --> 01:43:02,679 Speaker 1: have here and That's what I'm doing with this, especially 2077 01:43:02,720 --> 01:43:04,640 Speaker 1: the season. I'm like, oh, I'm going for it. I 2078 01:43:04,800 --> 01:43:06,960 Speaker 1: believe in something, I'm gonna go for it, and I 2079 01:43:07,080 --> 01:43:11,360 Speaker 1: will I'll handle whatever comes with that. Yeah. I love that. 2080 01:43:11,680 --> 01:43:14,040 Speaker 1: All right, Alex, I've got five questions left for you. Okay, 2081 01:43:14,160 --> 01:43:17,479 Speaker 1: these are the fast five. Okay, what is okay, Alex Cooper? 2082 01:43:17,520 --> 01:43:20,559 Speaker 1: These FoST five. Question number one, what is the best 2083 01:43:20,600 --> 01:43:23,280 Speaker 1: advice you've ever received? Oh? This is so generic, but 2084 01:43:23,360 --> 01:43:26,160 Speaker 1: it's so true. It's from my mother. Be yourself. In 2085 01:43:26,280 --> 01:43:28,080 Speaker 1: a world of people trying to tell you what to be, 2086 01:43:28,200 --> 01:43:31,639 Speaker 1: what to do, be yourself. Know yourself, and the journey 2087 01:43:31,640 --> 01:43:34,120 Speaker 1: of knowing yourself is going to be just as long 2088 01:43:34,200 --> 01:43:36,320 Speaker 1: if you're gonna know yourself or you're gonna go with 2089 01:43:36,400 --> 01:43:38,479 Speaker 1: what people want you to be. Be yourself. It's so 2090 01:43:38,680 --> 01:43:40,560 Speaker 1: much more rewarding at the end of the day. I 2091 01:43:40,640 --> 01:43:42,519 Speaker 1: love it, all right. Second question, what is the worst 2092 01:43:42,560 --> 01:43:46,400 Speaker 1: advice you've ever received? Be quiet? Where would that have 2093 01:43:46,479 --> 01:43:49,240 Speaker 1: gotten me? Guys? I mean a microphone myself. Here we go, 2094 01:43:49,520 --> 01:43:52,519 Speaker 1: don't be quiet, speak your mind, go for what you want, 2095 01:43:52,640 --> 01:43:56,400 Speaker 1: and bulldoz through doors. Question number three, what position did 2096 01:43:56,439 --> 01:43:59,760 Speaker 1: you play in soccer? Center? Midfield. Okay, all right, that's good. 2097 01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:02,840 Speaker 1: I was sent to attacking midfield. That's great. Also, sometimes 2098 01:44:02,840 --> 01:44:05,439 Speaker 1: I would go on the flanks. Yeah, basically my role. 2099 01:44:05,520 --> 01:44:07,439 Speaker 1: For anyone who doesn't know soccer, my position would let 2100 01:44:07,439 --> 01:44:10,479 Speaker 1: Alex's role do all the running. Yeah, thanks thanks, Yeah, 2101 01:44:10,560 --> 01:44:13,360 Speaker 1: I love to run. Yeah, I have to. I don't 2102 01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:17,639 Speaker 1: know if you've been I I recently invested in Angel CITYFC, 2103 01:44:18,280 --> 01:44:20,000 Speaker 1: and so I would love to take you to a game. 2104 01:44:20,040 --> 01:44:22,960 Speaker 1: It was so fun because I grew up obviously wanting 2105 01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:25,040 Speaker 1: to play soccer professionally and I was never good enough. 2106 01:44:25,640 --> 01:44:28,720 Speaker 1: But my sister loves soccer too, and she played, and 2107 01:44:28,920 --> 01:44:30,840 Speaker 1: I was just like, if I ever have a daughter 2108 01:44:31,120 --> 01:44:33,560 Speaker 1: or I was like, I want her to have the opportunity. 2109 01:44:33,680 --> 01:44:37,720 Speaker 1: So that's yeah, And they're so good. So they're fun 2110 01:44:37,760 --> 01:44:39,439 Speaker 1: to what So I'll we have to figure that out. 2111 01:44:40,280 --> 01:44:43,879 Speaker 1: Question number four, how would you describe your current purpose? 2112 01:44:44,640 --> 01:44:52,920 Speaker 1: My current purpose is to use my platform to hopefully 2113 01:44:54,439 --> 01:44:59,800 Speaker 1: empower and unite women also underrepresented communities, and try to 2114 01:45:00,000 --> 01:45:04,360 Speaker 1: to elicit change. There's a lot we got to do 2115 01:45:04,560 --> 01:45:08,360 Speaker 1: right now, and specifically with women's rights, and so I 2116 01:45:08,400 --> 01:45:11,040 Speaker 1: would say my purpose is trying to use my platform 2117 01:45:11,479 --> 01:45:16,320 Speaker 1: to excite people for change, not scare them. This is 2118 01:45:16,360 --> 01:45:18,800 Speaker 1: an exciting time. It is a great time to have 2119 01:45:18,880 --> 01:45:20,639 Speaker 1: a vagina. We have to look at it that way 2120 01:45:20,720 --> 01:45:23,960 Speaker 1: or we're only going to regress and keep getting pushed 2121 01:45:24,000 --> 01:45:28,720 Speaker 1: back words by men. So it's like, let's use our vaginas. 2122 01:45:28,880 --> 01:45:31,639 Speaker 1: Let's vote with our vaginas this year. Okay. I don't 2123 01:45:31,640 --> 01:45:33,920 Speaker 1: think anyone's probably said vagina as many times on your podcast, 2124 01:45:34,800 --> 01:45:38,600 Speaker 1: And it's to inspire and bring people with me on 2125 01:45:38,720 --> 01:45:42,160 Speaker 1: this journey of educating myself and taking my education public. 2126 01:45:42,640 --> 01:45:44,960 Speaker 1: Love that and I'm with you whatever whatever help I 2127 01:45:45,040 --> 01:45:48,400 Speaker 1: can give. Fifth and final question, if you could create 2128 01:45:48,479 --> 01:45:50,920 Speaker 1: one law that everyone in the world had to follow, 2129 01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:56,639 Speaker 1: what would it be. Abortions are legal? Well said, that's 2130 01:45:56,640 --> 01:45:59,160 Speaker 1: a real law. Thank you, that's a real law. Now 2131 01:45:59,240 --> 01:46:02,200 Speaker 1: let's put it back where it was. Yeah, amazing, I 2132 01:46:02,280 --> 01:46:04,840 Speaker 1: love it, Alex Goop for everyone, thank you so much 2133 01:46:04,880 --> 01:46:07,599 Speaker 1: for having no. Thank you, that was, without a doubt, 2134 01:46:07,920 --> 01:46:09,720 Speaker 1: I think the most fun I've ever had. That was 2135 01:46:09,760 --> 01:46:12,840 Speaker 1: so much fun. That was ilu. I am honored. Thank 2136 01:46:12,840 --> 01:46:14,240 Speaker 1: you for giving me the time in the space and 2137 01:46:14,360 --> 01:46:16,679 Speaker 1: your platform. This is amazing. No, I am so grateful, 2138 01:46:16,720 --> 01:46:21,000 Speaker 1: honestly that was smart, funny, intellectual, thoughtful, deep, I mean 2139 01:46:21,080 --> 01:46:23,280 Speaker 1: it was it was every emotion I want to feel 2140 01:46:23,560 --> 01:46:27,000 Speaker 1: on any given day, and you were just an absolute 2141 01:46:27,800 --> 01:46:30,559 Speaker 1: I don't know what the right word is, like you're 2142 01:46:30,600 --> 01:46:32,919 Speaker 1: a maverick, like you know, it's just it's it's amazing 2143 01:46:32,960 --> 01:46:37,200 Speaker 1: alsort of. I love witnessing high performing people in this way, 2144 01:46:37,520 --> 01:46:39,200 Speaker 1: and like watching you, I'm like, this person is such 2145 01:46:39,240 --> 01:46:42,280 Speaker 1: a pro like just unbelievable, like just phenomenal. It's so 2146 01:46:42,400 --> 01:46:44,960 Speaker 1: beautiful to word. Yeah, it's amazing. So thank you.