Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to talk side by side. Sometimes it is
Speaker 1: easier and more comfortable to connect when you are not
Speaker 1: gazing deeply into your conversation partner's eyes. Things feel less fraught,
Speaker 1: and when you are not looking for fraud. That is
Speaker 1: a good thing. I have noticed over the years that
Speaker 1: I really like running or walking with friends. Partly that's
Speaker 1: because it feels like smart multitasking. We get some exercise
Speaker 1: while catching up, but also because I am fairly introverted.
Speaker 1: To me, conversation is easier when it is not the
Speaker 1: only thing I am doing. It takes the pressure down
Speaker 1: several levels. This is likewise a good thing when the
Speaker 1: pressure might naturally be high. I have a lot of
Speaker 1: conversations with my kids about school and activities and friends,
Speaker 1: but these are often easier when we are working on
Speaker 1: legos or driving somewhere. There's no pressure of looking at
Speaker 1: each other continuously. It sometimes feels safer to be vulnerable
Speaker 1: when your facial expression isn't on view. Side by side
Speaker 1: contexts also let you have some stretches of companionable silence.
Speaker 1: In the spaces between talking, you can reflect and process.
Speaker 1: There is no pressure to say the right thing right then,
Speaker 1: because you are doing something else at the same time,
Speaker 1: and that can become your primary activity for a bit.
Speaker 1: You can acknowledge someone shared verbally or just with a
Speaker 1: reflective hmm, and then allows some silence while you both
Speaker 1: take in what they've said. Even with less weighty topics,
Speaker 1: it's nice when companionable silence as possible, so you can
Speaker 1: just enjoy being together without feeling the obligation to keep
Speaker 1: the conversation going continuously. So if you want more or
Speaker 1: better relationship time with your kids, partner, or friends, consider
Speaker 1: how you might get conversation time when you're side by
Speaker 1: side with your kids. This may mean reframing driving them
Speaker 1: places as an opportunity for connection. Yes, it can be
Speaker 1: a time suck, but for older kids in particular, it
Speaker 1: might be worth accepting some of this, or even offering
Speaker 1: some of this as the price for getting side by side.
Speaker 1: Connection with your partner or friends can cosier. Looking for
Speaker 1: opportunities beyond sharing a meal, You and your partner could
Speaker 1: go walk the dog. You could go to costco. You
Speaker 1: could commute downtown. Together, you and a friend could set
Speaker 1: up a regular walking route. This can even work with
Speaker 1: work colleagues. I know folks who have bonded by sharing
Speaker 1: a taxi ride to the airport. And if you've got
Speaker 1: a challenging conversation with a colleague or direct report coming up,
Speaker 1: doing this as a walking meeting means that the temperature
Speaker 1: might get lowered a little. You can share your thoughts
Speaker 1: and they can share their feedback with a little less
Speaker 1: of the pressure that comes from staring at each other.
Speaker 1: I mean, looking into people's eyes can be amazing, but
Speaker 1: sometimes options open up when you don't need to do
Speaker 1: that for an hour straight. In the meantime, this is Laura.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've
Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at
Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.