1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: tip is to talk side by side. Sometimes it is 4 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,959 Speaker 1: easier and more comfortable to connect when you are not 5 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: gazing deeply into your conversation partner's eyes. Things feel less fraught, 6 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 1: and when you are not looking for fraud. That is 7 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: a good thing. I have noticed over the years that 8 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: I really like running or walking with friends. Partly that's 9 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: because it feels like smart multitasking. We get some exercise 10 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: while catching up, but also because I am fairly introverted. 11 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: To me, conversation is easier when it is not the 12 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: only thing I am doing. It takes the pressure down 13 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: several levels. This is likewise a good thing when the 14 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: pressure might naturally be high. I have a lot of 15 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: conversations with my kids about school and activities and friends, 16 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 1: but these are often easier when we are working on 17 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: legos or driving somewhere. There's no pressure of looking at 18 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: each other continuously. It sometimes feels safer to be vulnerable 19 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: when your facial expression isn't on view. Side by side 20 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: contexts also let you have some stretches of companionable silence. 21 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: In the spaces between talking, you can reflect and process. 22 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: There is no pressure to say the right thing right then, 23 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: because you are doing something else at the same time, 24 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: and that can become your primary activity for a bit. 25 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: You can acknowledge someone shared verbally or just with a 26 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: reflective hmm, and then allows some silence while you both 27 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: take in what they've said. Even with less weighty topics, 28 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: it's nice when companionable silence as possible, so you can 29 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: just enjoy being together without feeling the obligation to keep 30 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: the conversation going continuously. So if you want more or 31 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: better relationship time with your kids, partner, or friends, consider 32 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: how you might get conversation time when you're side by 33 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,679 Speaker 1: side with your kids. This may mean reframing driving them 34 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: places as an opportunity for connection. Yes, it can be 35 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: a time suck, but for older kids in particular, it 36 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: might be worth accepting some of this, or even offering 37 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: some of this as the price for getting side by side. 38 00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: Connection with your partner or friends can cosier. Looking for 39 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: opportunities beyond sharing a meal, You and your partner could 40 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: go walk the dog. You could go to costco. You 41 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: could commute downtown. Together, you and a friend could set 42 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: up a regular walking route. This can even work with 43 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: work colleagues. I know folks who have bonded by sharing 44 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 1: a taxi ride to the airport. And if you've got 45 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: a challenging conversation with a colleague or direct report coming up, 46 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: doing this as a walking meeting means that the temperature 47 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: might get lowered a little. You can share your thoughts 48 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: and they can share their feedback with a little less 49 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: of the pressure that comes from staring at each other. 50 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: I mean, looking into people's eyes can be amazing, but 51 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: sometimes options open up when you don't need to do 52 00:03:54,560 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: that for an hour straight. In the meantime, this is Laura. 53 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 54 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've 55 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at 56 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a 57 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit 58 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 59 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.