1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: I discovered I'm dating my biological father. Should I tell him? 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 2: What is this? Sil you tell him? Oh man? Wow, speechless. 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 2: Let's find out if you actually should. I don't know, 4 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 2: oh man. 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: So I still have no idea how to process this. 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: Buckle up because it's a long one. So I've never 7 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: met my dad. He ran off when my mom found 8 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: out she was pregnant with me. My brother was only 9 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 1: eight months old at the time, so he also has 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: no memory of him. There are no pictures of him anywhere, 11 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: and my mom hates talking about him. All I know 12 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: is that he was emotionally abusive to her in a 13 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: real asshole. I twenty five mail have a thing for 14 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: older men. Call it daddy issues or a fetish or 15 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: whatever you want, but I pretty much only date or 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: sleep with men forty and up. 17 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: Forty and up, dude, that's old. That's as much. Sure, 18 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 2: that's old Joel. 19 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: My ex girlfriend actually just married a forty year old 20 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: up man. 21 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 2: So no, it happens. 22 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: It does happen. He has gray hair, that's who. Doesn't 23 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: this guy not matter? My family doesn't know this, or 24 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:19,919 Speaker 1: that I'm gay for that matter, it wouldn't be an issue. 25 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: They just never ask, we don't really share personal things 26 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: like that. About six months ago, I met David fake 27 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,199 Speaker 1: name Duh at a club. We hit it off great. 28 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: He's in great shape for his age, supposedly forty three, 29 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: although that's a lie. He's actually forty seven, as I 30 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: found out, really attractive, charming, et cetera. He left for 31 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: a two week work trip a few days after we met, 32 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: but we kept messaging each other and I really liked him, 33 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: which is rare for me. We went on a date 34 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: after he came back and have pretty much been dating 35 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: ever since. He has a lot of money and I'm 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: kind of his sugar baby, but that's not the reason 37 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: I was attracted him. Definitely a plus though I didn't 38 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: tell anyone we were dating except for my two best friends. 39 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: He also never met any of my friends or family, 40 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: and I never met his. This changed last night. 41 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 2: Oh No. 42 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: We were at a restaurant when out of the corner 43 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 1: of my eye I spotted my mom. I don't live 44 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: at home and we usually text if we need something, 45 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: so I didn't know she'd be there, and to be honest, 46 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: I still don't know why she was. She hates going 47 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,359 Speaker 1: out and thinks it's a waste of money. She had 48 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: not seen us yet, but David noticed me looking at her. 49 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: I'll forever remember the way his face changed when he 50 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 1: saw her. His expression went from his casual, charming smile 51 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: he always had to this blank, panicked look. I obviously 52 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: noticed and got a really bad feeling, so I asked 53 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: him what's wrong, and he just got up and excused himself. 54 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: I kept asking him where he was going, and grabbed 55 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: him so he couldn't leave. At this point, I was 56 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: really confused and suspicious, but I would never have guessed 57 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,399 Speaker 1: what happened next. I don't think anything could have prepared 58 00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: me for it. 59 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 2: Don't say it, don't say it. 60 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: At some point, while he was getting up, my mother 61 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,359 Speaker 1: must have spotted us, because next thing I know, she's 62 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: next to our table, asking me what was going on. 63 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: I couldn't really pinpoint her facial expression because it looked 64 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: like she was horrified. But again, at this point, I 65 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: didn't know David was my father, and she doesn't know 66 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: that I'm gay. Oh oh my Oedipus who bro Oedipus who? Well, 67 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: you got a new contender right now? Oh God, damn. 68 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: My body has been drained of its life force. 69 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: David is visibly uncomfortable and looks like he wants to die. 70 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: He was literally sweating. I assumed this was because he 71 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: didn't want my mother to know I was dating someone 72 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: of his age. I was about to try to explain 73 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: what was going on to my mom, and she said, 74 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: why would you go behind my back like this? I 75 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: was so confused, because again I didn't know he was 76 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: my dad, So like, what was she going on? She 77 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: probably assumed I had looked for and met up with 78 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: my father without talking to her about it, despite her 79 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: telling us how badly he treated her to have known 80 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: who had to have known the dad? I mean, no way, 81 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: Like there's social media, do not see pictures of people's kids? 82 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:24,919 Speaker 3: Oh god, Oh keep going to me. 83 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: However, it seemed like she was acting crazy for no reason. 84 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: I kind of took it personally and thought she was 85 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: trying to tell me who to date and what to do. 86 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: So I casually told her that I was just on 87 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 1: a date with my boyfriend, and I tried to grab 88 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: David's hand, but he just jumped up and ran away. 89 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: He literally bolted like an efing Olympic runner. I cannot 90 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: get the effing image out of my head of him, 91 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: jumping between waiters to get away. Everyone was staring at 92 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: us by this point. It was so embarrassing, and I 93 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: was mortified. My mom looked like she was just frozen 94 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: in place. God, I was more confused than ever. I 95 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: had no idea what was happening. I had assumed she 96 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: had asked me that because she didn't want me to 97 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: be gay, which made no sense. She is very open 98 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: and liberal. Or maybe she was like, oh, don't date old, 99 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 1: or meant which made a bit more sense, but was 100 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: still oh yeah, but was still none of her business. 101 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: But her expression just made my skin crawl. It's like 102 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: I could feel the horror she must have been experiencing. 103 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: She just told me to get up and come with her. 104 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: I was still confused, but something in her body language 105 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: told me to just do as I was told. I 106 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: quickly paid for our drinks and appetizers. Thank god the 107 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: main course hadn't been served yet, because that shit was expensive. 108 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: My mom excused herself to her friends, and once we 109 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 1: were in her car outside, we just sat there in 110 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: silence for what felt like ten minutes. 111 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 3: I can only imagine, what, what do you possibly possibly say? 112 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. Nothing you can say 113 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: can make this okay. Nothing you can say I can 114 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: make this okay. I didn't really dare to say anything. 115 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 1: I was still processing that my boyfriend just effing ran 116 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: away from me and my mother. I had also tried 117 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: to text him, but he wasn't responding. Shocker, I know. 118 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: When my mom spoke, it sounded like she had been shot. 119 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: She sounded so wounded. I think it might haunt me forever. 120 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: She asked me who that man was, and I explained 121 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: to her, and I went on about how much I 122 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: loved him, because again I was still thinking of David 123 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 1: as my boyfriend. And assume my mom's reaction was because 124 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 1: of his age or gender, I cannot believe. I went 125 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: on about how much I romantically loved my dad, right 126 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 1: to my mother's face. 127 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 2: It makes me puke. 128 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 1: Long story short, She told me he was my father 129 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: and that she instantly recognized him. That talk was the 130 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: most traumatic experience of my life. 131 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 2: I can only freaking imagine. 132 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: Oh we've both started crying at some point and just 133 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: wept for a while in the car. I was howling. 134 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: It was fucking primal. I'm not usually emotional or pro 135 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: to crying. So it was a real shock to me 136 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: just how much pain a person can feel. Most of 137 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: it is just a blur now, especially compared to how 138 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: clearly I remember every other moment of the evening up 139 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: to this. We drove home, I slept in my old bedroom. 140 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: We haven't talked about it since, but my brother is 141 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: also staying at our place still. He's a med student, 142 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: never moved out of the house because of housing costs, 143 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: and he knows something is up. He tried talking to 144 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: me about it, and I just broke down again. How 145 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: do I ever tell anyone about this? The worst part 146 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: is I think despite all of this, I still love David. 147 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: Oh he still loves his dad romantically. 148 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 2: Dude, No, romantically? No? 149 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so bad, dude, this is so bad. Wait 150 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 3: wait this one story, this one's story? All right, I'm 151 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 3: I'm about to go in the grave. Okay, just take 152 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 3: me now? 153 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 2: So bad? 154 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: Just writing this makes me want to throw up. I 155 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: cannot believe this is reality? Like, how effed up is 156 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: all of this? Why did this happen to me? I 157 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: don't even think I could tell my therapist about this. 158 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: I tried messaging David, but I just don't know what 159 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: to say. The last message I sent him literally just 160 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 1: said please call me, I love you, sent right after 161 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: he ran away, Like, what the fuck? What the actual 162 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: fucking fuck? Like, how do I come back from this? 163 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: How do I ever look at my mom and the 164 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: eye again? I haven't left my room yet and I 165 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: am in tears while writing this. I can't even remember 166 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: the last time I cried before yesterday, and now I've 167 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: been doing it NonStop. If anyone has any advice, as 168 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: if who else would have after accidentally doing this besides 169 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: stupid me, it would be highly appreciated. Also, feel free 170 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: to make dark jokes about this. It's my coping mechanism. 171 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: I also did not proofread this, as I do not 172 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: believe I can make myself read this again. And there 173 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: is a thick, juicy big Daddy update. 174 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 2: Oh what do you think, John? I think I'm dead. 175 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: I think that I have ascended. 176 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 3: I have dissolved into molecules that are floating through the air, 177 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 3: not knowing its direction or purpose in life. 178 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 2: It's so bad. That's so bad, John. Do you want 179 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 2: me to go into the update? 180 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 3: Uh? 181 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 2: You know, just go, just go do it? Okay? 182 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: Posting this for the first time was a nightmare. So 183 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: this is take two. Firstly, I really appreciate everyone's comments, 184 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: although I'm not in a mindset right now where I 185 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,719 Speaker 1: can take them seriously. Just feels kind of weird when 186 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: people tell me everything's going to be all right when 187 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: my entire life is in shambles. I do think I'm 188 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: doing way editor than I should. I think I'm just 189 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: disassociating though. However, what I do not appreciate is the 190 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: countless people dming me asking me questions about my sex life. 191 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 1: So I will address this once and for all so 192 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: you can stop you effing animals. You know who you are. Yes, 193 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: we had sex. No, I was not the bottom. I 194 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: do not subscribe to such outdated and heteronormative ideals of 195 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: what gay sex is supposed to be. Like I have 196 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: a switch and only date other switches. Yes, the sex 197 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: was good. I don't date people who are bad in bed. 198 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: I guess good sex runs in the family. No, I 199 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: will not continue to have fucking sex with my father, 200 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: send you nudes or give you sex stories of all this, Like, 201 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,559 Speaker 1: what the fuck is wrong with y'all? Anyways, there you go, 202 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: how the tear you clear the desire? So you can 203 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: leave me alone. Okay, So for all you other lovely people, 204 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: I think I need to talk about my mother first. 205 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: A lot of people have a lot to say about her, 206 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: and I think I need to set something straight. She 207 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: is not a bad person and did everything she could 208 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: to raise us to the best of her ability. She's 209 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: also a black, single mom living in a country where 210 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: she is a minority and which puts a lot of 211 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: roadblocks in her way, but she always made sure to 212 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: give my brother and I the best childhood she could. 213 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: When I think of her, I only have fond, loving memories. 214 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: Some people assume, because of some of my previous statements 215 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: that we are not a close family, which is definitely 216 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 1: not the case. We just really value independence and freedom. 217 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: I live about an hour away from my mom, but 218 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: still visit her monthly. We call at least once a week, 219 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: but we don't force each other to confess things or 220 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: information the person doesn't willingly give up. My brother, for example, 221 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: has always been very open about his dating life with 222 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 1: my mom. She's met all of his girlfriends and they 223 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: often came to family gatherings. I'm just more private. That 224 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: being said, she has not always been perfect, because no 225 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: parent is a lot of people were upset at her 226 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: for not telling us about our dad, and trust me 227 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: when I say that she is aware that she made 228 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 1: a mistake, not. 229 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 2: Even showing a picture of him. Come on, oh good. 230 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: We also moved to another continent just to keep us 231 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: away from him and make sure we never run into him. 232 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: There is no way that she could have known that 233 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: he would move to the same country as us years later. 234 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: I'm not going to name specifics because I don't want 235 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 1: anyone to recognize this as me, since a lot of 236 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: this is already quite specific. But she really did her 237 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: best to make sure we never have to go near him, 238 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: and none of this is her fault. I don't blame 239 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: her in the slightest. If anything, I blame myself for 240 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: being so angry at her whenever she tried to tell 241 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: me or my brother about him. I was never interested 242 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: in finding out about my father. In truth, I resented 243 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: him deeply for leaving my mother alone defend for herself 244 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: in a world that wanted her to fail. Oh my god, 245 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,719 Speaker 1: there's a fucking lot dude buckled in. Since this has 246 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: come to light, a lot of things I didn't know 247 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: about my family have also been brought up. I found 248 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: out that my brother and my mother often talked about 249 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: my father, just not in front of me, since I 250 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 1: was so adamant to never learn anything about him. I 251 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: remember throwing a tantrum because my brother kept asking what 252 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: my dad's birthday was. Other knew his full name, had 253 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: seen pictures of him, and knew most of the full 254 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: story of what had gone down between my mom and him. 255 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: It is not my story to share, as it is 256 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 1: fully hers, and so I will not go into details, 257 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: but know that he was not just emotionally abusive, like 258 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: I had believed my entire life, but also physically and financially. 259 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: The story of him leaving when she found out she 260 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 1: was pregnant isn't fully accurate either. He apparently threatened to 261 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: harm her if she didn't get an abortion, and so 262 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: she packed her things and left him. According to her, 263 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 1: he never reached out or tried to find her, and 264 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: she moved to make sure it would stay that way. 265 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: She really just tried to protect us, and I'll never 266 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,359 Speaker 1: be able to truly articulate how grateful I am obviously. 267 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: Finding out about all this just makes me feel worse. 268 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: I always shut them out when they tried to tell 269 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: me about my father and refuse to learn anything about 270 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: him because I naively presumed that I was better than 271 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: him and therefore didn't need to bother learning anything about 272 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: a man I wasn't good enough for. Obviously, that backfired, 273 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: and here we are. 274 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 2: Man. 275 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: The backstory is even crazier too, because I like the 276 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: fact that they came from a different country and they 277 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: both went to the same place. 278 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 2: Well, I guess I. 279 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: Say that city, the same same location. Yeah, that's crazy, 280 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 1: Make it makes sense. Thankfully, my mother does not blame 281 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: me whatsoever. She is extremely understanding of my side, and 282 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: we've convinced her to find a therapist, and she also 283 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: joined a group counseling for victims of domestic violence. My brother, 284 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: on the other hand, is absolutely livid, which, you know, 285 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: is it a appropriate like? I mean, there are acceptable 286 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 1: responses to this, and like, no, like OP is not 287 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 1: necessarily in the wrong. But what do you do when 288 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: your brother fucks your dad? 289 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 2: You'd be not happy about it? No, my god? Yeah? 290 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 3: Well, the question is is is the brother angry at 291 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 3: OP or the father? 292 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 1: It's probably directed at OP, but he's probably mad just 293 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 1: about the situation, you. 294 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 3: Know, Yeah, maybe his his emotions are just they don't 295 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 3: know what direction to go. 296 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 2: It on to go somewhere. God. 297 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: I felt we had to tell him eventually, and after 298 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 1: consulting with my therapists, decided to rip it off like 299 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: a band aid, set him down, and I basically first 300 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: told him I was gay. He did not care as expected. 301 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: Then I told him that I was into older men. 302 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: He was very confused where this was going, and also 303 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: I was telling him I don't think he was ready 304 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: for it or took it well. And then that I 305 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: met Dad and that bomb kind of hit and took 306 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: all his attention at first, because he's always wanted to 307 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: meet him and really struggle without having a father, unlike me, 308 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: I thought when he said, like, oh, and the bomb 309 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: kind of hit, like I met Dad and damn that 310 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: bomb kt of hit, you know, but no hit with 311 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: the brother h His excitement quickly faded though. When he 312 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: connected the dots of ME being into older men, meeting Dad, 313 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: and my mom and me being weird, and the worrying 314 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: behavior we've had for the past few days. It left 315 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 1: him up pretty bad. I really regret telling him at all. 316 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's something that he needs to know, 317 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: you know, like it. 318 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 3: Well, one point in that in that favor is does 319 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 3: it hurt him to not know? Probaly I bleed, not 320 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 3: as long as the father doesn't come back in the picture. 321 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 2: Probably not. It does not hurt him to not know. 322 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 2: It just hurts. Yeah. 323 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: He can't come to terms with it, and is visibly 324 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 1: disgusted by the thought, as he always viewed our father 325 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: as our father and not my daddy. I didn't say that. 326 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: He didn't say that. 327 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 2: I said that, Oh I'm dying over here. 328 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: Well, I viewed him as some afterthought sperm donor that 329 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: ran off. He hasn't really talked to me since we 330 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 1: told him, and when he does it's disgusting remarks, insults, 331 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: or passive aggression. My mother is furious with him, and 332 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: it's not helping. She's always hated when we'd fight, but 333 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: now especially, she feels like he's treating me unfairly since 334 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: I'm already going through so much. But I think he's 335 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: fully within his right to be angry or disgusted. He's 336 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: just being such a dick about it. It's also really 337 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: uncharacteristic of him to act like this, But again, it's 338 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: not every day that your brother does this with your dad. 339 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 2: It doesn't happen every day. 340 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: He even went as far to call my aunt, my 341 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: mom's sister and tell her what happened. Shit, now it's spreading. 342 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 2: I was afraid. I was a freaking like. 343 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 3: He called my I just said, listens, take it off, 344 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 3: and I for an eye. 345 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: Oh no, Thankfully we can trust her to keep it 346 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: a secret. Her husband and her are basically a second 347 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: set of parents to us. But I still think it's 348 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,120 Speaker 1: really fed up of him to do that. He also 349 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: refuses to see a therapist and keeps saying that I'm 350 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: the mentally messed up one, not him, whenever we try 351 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: to bring it up. It's only been like less than 352 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 1: forty eight hours since we told him, though, so I'm 353 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 1: sure he'll come around. 354 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's forty eight hours. He's still reeling. Give him 355 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 2: some time. 356 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: He also still really wants to go meet Dad, which 357 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: everyone keeps telling him is a terrible idea because he 358 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 1: is really the worst. Stay tuned because it gets worse, goddamn. 359 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: But he's so stubborn and keeps yelling at me to 360 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,719 Speaker 1: give him Dad's address. He's so obsessed with this idea 361 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: of a man that doesn't exist and wants shit to 362 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,199 Speaker 1: do with him. Even before I found out he was 363 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: my father, he never wanted to meet my family. Does 364 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: Dad know? Did Dad know that this was his kid? 365 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 1: That's my question. 366 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 3: I feel like he did, because he ran away as 367 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 3: soon as he saw the mom. 368 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 2: I feel like he did know. I feel like he 369 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 2: did know. 370 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: Granted, even before I found out he was my father, 371 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: he never wanted to meet my family. Granted I also 372 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: didn't want him to meet them, but the one time 373 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: we talked about it, he laughed at the idea as 374 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 1: if it was preposterous. Now he's the only person I 375 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: blame in all of this besides myself. He really is 376 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: a little cowardly piece of trash, and I wish I 377 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: never effing met him. I think this entire thing and 378 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,439 Speaker 1: his behavior after being recognized just really broke something in 379 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: me that I didn't know was there. I never cared 380 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: about him before, but now I genuinely know that he 381 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: will never give a single crap about me, and that 382 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: really hurt. Basically, I kept texting and calling him the 383 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: evening of what we've referred to as the event, because 384 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: I was desperate and confused and couldn't really believe what 385 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,879 Speaker 1: was happening. I then texted him two more times the 386 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: day of and called once, no response either. Then two 387 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: nights ago I decided to call him again, even though 388 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: everyone in my life was against it. This was also 389 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 1: just after we told my brother and we had a 390 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 1: huge fight about it. This is all happening so fast too, 391 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: Like it's like crazy. That is just like one event 392 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: after another, chain reaction, nuclear explosions. Yeah, I was really 393 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: vulnerable and I don't know what the hell was fired 394 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: in my head, but some part of me must have 395 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: believed that he'd comfort me. He had been extremely emotionally 396 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 1: available during our relationship, which very much contrasted with what 397 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: my mother had told me about him and their relationship. 398 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: I didn't think he'd pick up the phone, but he did. 399 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: Why are you call it? 400 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 2: It? Also? 401 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 3: Also, I will give one amendment to my theory. I 402 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 3: do still think that the dad did know. But one 403 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 3: argument though, is that if he saw the mom, he 404 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 3: probably hasn't seen her in years, and he. 405 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 2: Was like, oh, they didn't want to see her anyway. 406 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it is I think it is still possible, 407 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 3: and he's just like, oh, I don't want my boyfriend 408 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 3: to know the person that I was, or like or. 409 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: I am exactly. Well, let's see what actually happened. So 410 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: OPI is calling his dad slash lover Um yikes. He 411 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 1: picked up, and it was effing terrible. He immediately started 412 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: yelling as soon as he picked up. He had never 413 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 1: yelled at me before, started calling me all kinds of slurs, 414 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: like the F slur and a pussy, which is just absurd. 415 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: Started threatening me that he'd off me and my bee 416 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: mother if I ever contacted him again. In staid if 417 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 1: I told anyone about this, that I'd regret ever meeting him. 418 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 2: Jokes on, you, bitch, I already do. It was an 419 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 2: e fing turn of character. 420 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 1: I was genuinely not prepared for it and had no 421 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: idea what I was supposed to do. Maybe he didn't 422 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: know either, dude. Maybe I just cried on the other 423 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 1: end of the phone while he kept yelling at me 424 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: till he finally hung up. The entire thing was utterly terrible, 425 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: and I can't believe I didn't us my mother and 426 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: listened to her sooner when she clearly tried to tell 427 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: me how horrible he was. On multiple occasions throughout my childhood. 428 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,359 Speaker 1: I just feel so stupid. I'll probably never contact him again, 429 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: but I cannot believe I undid all the efforts my 430 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: mother put and to keep us safe all those years, 431 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: and let him play the both of us in the 432 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 1: exact same way, just because I wanted some dick. God, 433 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 1: there's a bit more. There's a bit more. I took 434 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 1: some people's advice and sent the post to my therapist 435 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: with a short email explaining some more private stuff. I 436 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: sent it around five am the day after the event, 437 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 1: and then went to sleep for almost fifteen hours and 438 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: woke up to tons of mistexts and calls from her, 439 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:44,239 Speaker 1: starting with extreme concern and then slight annoyance because I 440 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 1: think she thought it was a sick prank since I 441 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 1: didn't respond. We talked on the phone later and she 442 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: told me that I can call her whenever I want. 443 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 1: She is not an in person therapist, which I prefer. 444 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,360 Speaker 1: I do feel security in knowing that I can confide 445 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: in her, and I'm glad I told her. I also 446 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: joined some online support groups. 447 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 2: Don't tell me there's enough people that have gone through this. 448 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: I mean, like, probably not in this specific circumstance where 449 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: it was like an entirely consensual relationship. 450 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,880 Speaker 2: But I imagine there is some people. 451 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, I understand most of them either shamed 452 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,719 Speaker 1: me because of the age gap or my sexuality, so 453 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: that didn't really do much good. 454 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 2: Fuck you think you could go join a support group, 455 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 2: but no, you get anti support? What the hell? 456 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 1: Anti support? I've also told my two best friends, against 457 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 1: what some people advised. I trust them with everything and 458 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: they wouldn't be my friends if that wasn't the case. 459 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: I will be using fake names for this, but basically, Leah, 460 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: my oldest friend we met in kindergarten, called me on FaceTime, 461 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: not unusual. The night of this happening, I had told 462 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 1: her I was sick and she'd leave me alone, but 463 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,639 Speaker 1: she called me to ask how I was doing the 464 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: next day. I had just kind of another mental breakdown 465 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,439 Speaker 1: and was sobbing when I picked up the phone, and 466 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 1: she was obviously concerned, and I just kind of blurted 467 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 1: it out. Of course, she thought I was joking at 468 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: first and asked me if I was on drugs or 469 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: some shit. I don't even do drugs because I pretty 470 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: much never cry. I then just kind of told her 471 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 1: everything and it was really freeing. She was the first 472 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: person I told. I then sent our other friend the 473 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: TikTok of this and just let her react to it, 474 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: then told her I wrote that and let laya handle it. 475 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful for them. They have been insanely supportive. 476 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: I'm still staying at home. They're helping me to feed 477 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,400 Speaker 1: my cat and look after my plants for as long 478 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: as I need. No judgment at any point. Those are 479 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: some freaking great friends. Really, just them asking me how 480 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: they can help get yourself friends like this. So all 481 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 1: in all, my dad is trashed. To one surprise, I 482 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,399 Speaker 1: might have mentally broken my brother. Therapy works, and my 483 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: mother and friends are the best people on this planet. 484 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 1: I'll keep answering questions for the next few days, and 485 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 1: I think after that I'll log out of this Reddit 486 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: account for good documenting and sharing this with people who 487 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: have really helped me. And I appreciate all the comments, 488 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,120 Speaker 1: even if I cannot do much with them to help 489 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 1: my recovery at the moment. Also, the jokes are top tier. 490 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 1: Keep them coming. Everyone's tip towing on agshells around me, 491 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: so it's nice to see the comments. Just go fairal 492 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: I just want to feel normal again. 493 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 3: Well, I got one more than the comments. Weren't the 494 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,240 Speaker 3: only things that were coming. 495 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: Oh your dad. Oh and he wasn't coming back getting milk. 496 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: He was making the milk. That was brutal, Dude, that 497 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: was absolutely brutal. 498 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: One of the most brutal ones we've ever read. 499 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 3: I think I think this is the most defeated I've 500 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 3: ever been. I think I am at my most most defeated. 501 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 1: So what what do we think? Do we think the 502 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,880 Speaker 1: dad knew or didn't know? I think he I mean, 503 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,919 Speaker 1: he didn't know. I honestly, I'm curious to see what 504 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 1: the comments say. 505 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 3: But I originally thought he did because of the way 506 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 3: he reacted. But now think about when he sent the 507 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 3: text and said I love you initially, then later on 508 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 3: the phone was like cursing him out and saying the 509 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 3: most disgusting, vile stuff. That kind of leads me to 510 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 3: believe that he actually didn't know. Yeah, but also the chances, 511 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 3: like I could see with him, maybe he just knew. 512 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: That op knew. He just knew that op knew, like 513 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 1: and not everyone else, No, like the father. The father 514 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: thought that Opie didn't know for the whole time, and 515 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 1: then he found out op he did new and that 516 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: and then he found out OPI did know, and then 517 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: it would just like cursed him out because he knew. 518 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,680 Speaker 3: The Yeah, it's still totally possible that that the dad knew, 519 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 3: because he seems like a sick, vile, twisted monster. But 520 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 3: but your leaning towards didn't know, because you've got a 521 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 3: thing like that's the only silver lining possible in the 522 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 3: story is he didn't know. You know, I'm going to 523 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 3: live in a world where he doesn't know because the 524 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 3: other world is worse. 525 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm I'm I'm here. I'm here for that. 526 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: But question, would you tell your brother if you did 527 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 1: that with your dad? Let me know in the comments. 528 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: I wouldn't because comments please, but let's get to a 529 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: better story. 530 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 2: Please please, anything 531 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 1: Please, for the love of God, John hit us with it.