1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,435 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. He's 2 00:00:21,475 --> 00:00:24,595 Speaker 1: behaved like a lot of things before, but until now, 3 00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:29,835 Speaker 1: Trump has never sounded so desperately scared. Quote. Congress will 4 00:00:29,835 --> 00:00:32,835 Speaker 1: hopefully now look at the ever continuing witch hunts and 5 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:39,715 Speaker 1: election interference it began. Congress, please investigate the political witch hunts. 6 00:00:39,795 --> 00:00:43,155 Speaker 1: He begs, all caps. The only way they can win 7 00:00:43,315 --> 00:00:48,395 Speaker 1: is to cheat. Stop them now, he pleads, also all caps. 8 00:00:49,195 --> 00:00:53,595 Speaker 1: It is everything except mommy, I'm scared. They caught me. 9 00:00:55,035 --> 00:00:58,235 Speaker 1: What caused this? Yesterday? I mean, apart from the insanity. 10 00:00:58,755 --> 00:01:02,955 Speaker 1: Via discovery, Trump received much of the Department of Justice 11 00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:06,235 Speaker 1: evidence supporting the thirty seven against him. We know what 12 00:01:06,315 --> 00:01:09,875 Speaker 1: happened this week. It was probably Wednesday. It included all 13 00:01:09,995 --> 00:01:14,035 Speaker 1: the audio tapes, the vain, glorious interviews he gave, which 14 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:17,715 Speaker 1: are apparently peppered with references to documents and secrets. And 15 00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:21,315 Speaker 1: I can't tell you this, but here goes anyway. Plus, 16 00:01:21,355 --> 00:01:24,835 Speaker 1: if he didn't before, he now knows who testified against 17 00:01:24,915 --> 00:01:30,155 Speaker 1: him and what they said, Mark Meadows. And all I 18 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:33,635 Speaker 1: can tell you is my own experience in what was 19 00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:37,955 Speaker 1: just small potatoes compared to this, I sued al Gore's 20 00:01:37,995 --> 00:01:41,315 Speaker 1: TV network for fifty million. They sued me back. Much 21 00:01:41,355 --> 00:01:44,075 Speaker 1: of the case hinged on how many times I used 22 00:01:44,115 --> 00:01:47,675 Speaker 1: a given word in my emails. I assumed I had 23 00:01:47,715 --> 00:01:50,635 Speaker 1: not used it at all. The discovery came in my 24 00:01:50,715 --> 00:01:53,635 Speaker 1: own emails. It turned out I'd used it like ninety 25 00:01:53,715 --> 00:01:57,915 Speaker 1: four times. That was my Well, if it's big enough, 26 00:01:57,955 --> 00:02:01,395 Speaker 1: I'll just take the settlement moment. And I wasn't under 27 00:02:01,435 --> 00:02:06,595 Speaker 1: indictment or guilty of anything. Even for somebody rooted firmly 28 00:02:06,675 --> 00:02:09,635 Speaker 1: in a fantasy world of his own creation, seeing what 29 00:02:09,835 --> 00:02:15,155 Speaker 1: they have on him must be destabilizing. And remember dementia, 30 00:02:15,315 --> 00:02:21,515 Speaker 1: Jay Trump starts each day pre destabilized. Congress, please and 31 00:02:21,915 --> 00:02:25,835 Speaker 1: stop them now. And on Thursday, Trump even circled back 32 00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:28,395 Speaker 1: to where we began on this case. And he also 33 00:02:28,555 --> 00:02:32,835 Speaker 1: circled back to the day he first opened Pandora's political box. 34 00:02:33,475 --> 00:02:38,355 Speaker 1: The documents' indictments are quote election interferenced against me on 35 00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:42,115 Speaker 1: perfectly legal boxes where I have no doubt that information 36 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:50,235 Speaker 1: is being secretly planted, Which means that those documents that 37 00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:53,155 Speaker 1: Trump owns that were his property, that he had the 38 00:02:53,155 --> 00:02:55,915 Speaker 1: perfect right to keep and are perfectly legal, and they're 39 00:02:55,955 --> 00:02:58,675 Speaker 1: all to classified and even if they weren't, they're still his. 40 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:04,835 Speaker 1: Now they are all planted again. And then there's the 41 00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:09,795 Speaker 1: other circle, back to the original campaign platform, lock her Up. Yesterday, 42 00:03:09,835 --> 00:03:14,115 Speaker 1: Trump again insisted in an interview he would indict his opponents, 43 00:03:14,475 --> 00:03:17,715 Speaker 1: but very fairly, of course, and that that's why they're 44 00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:21,435 Speaker 1: doing this to him, to prevent him from being re 45 00:03:21,515 --> 00:03:25,795 Speaker 1: elected and indicting them. This is the way his mind 46 00:03:26,515 --> 00:03:31,235 Speaker 1: doesn't work. Back at the investigation, The Guardian meanwhile confirmed 47 00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:33,355 Speaker 1: what has been pretty obvious, at least the first part 48 00:03:33,475 --> 00:03:37,755 Speaker 1: has been quote. Federal prosecutors investigating Trump's retention of national 49 00:03:37,795 --> 00:03:41,835 Speaker 1: security material were examining evidence within weeks of the FBI 50 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,595 Speaker 1: search of Mari Lago last year that he might have 51 00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:48,875 Speaker 1: handled classified documents at his Bedminster club in New Jersey, 52 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:52,035 Speaker 1: according to two people close to the matter on quote, 53 00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:56,595 Speaker 1: the conclusion I think is kind of new. Searches were 54 00:03:56,675 --> 00:04:00,075 Speaker 1: made at Bedminster and nothing was found, and clarity arrived 55 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:03,555 Speaker 1: when his whole beautiful mind explanation came into view. That 56 00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:06,875 Speaker 1: Trump is a kind of sophisticated pack rat, but not 57 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,435 Speaker 1: your traditional hoarder. Trump does not just pile up the 58 00:04:10,515 --> 00:04:13,515 Speaker 1: mementos and the classified documents and the secret plans for 59 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:17,675 Speaker 1: war against Iran. He takes them around with him, apparently 60 00:04:17,755 --> 00:04:20,675 Speaker 1: from mary Lago to Bedminster and then back to marri 61 00:04:20,755 --> 00:04:24,235 Speaker 1: Lago again. Hence that continuing prospect that he may be 62 00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:28,795 Speaker 1: indicted anew in New Jersey by Jack Smith for revealing 63 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:32,115 Speaker 1: the details of the secret documents there, even though the 64 00:04:32,115 --> 00:04:37,875 Speaker 1: documents were or are in Florida since we last looked 65 00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:41,635 Speaker 1: in on Trump. In this interlude between indictment sets, there 66 00:04:41,675 --> 00:04:44,075 Speaker 1: does seem to have been an increase in the paranoia 67 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,875 Speaker 1: and a decrease in the energy, and not just for him, 68 00:04:47,155 --> 00:04:50,875 Speaker 1: but also for his sickophants. For eight long years, I 69 00:04:50,995 --> 00:04:54,275 Speaker 1: have wondered, maybe you have two if the wear and 70 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:57,995 Speaker 1: tear of all this lying and scheming and evil stuff 71 00:04:58,075 --> 00:05:01,155 Speaker 1: doing would ever affect Trump the way it would affect 72 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:06,035 Speaker 1: a normal person. It's very easy to I continuously if 73 00:05:06,075 --> 00:05:10,635 Speaker 1: the lies never have to sync up. Thus your personal 74 00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:13,675 Speaker 1: papers that you own and you declassified can also be 75 00:05:13,795 --> 00:05:16,475 Speaker 1: plants at the same time, and you don't waste one 76 00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:20,115 Speaker 1: calorie of energy trying to get these sundry lies to 77 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:25,035 Speaker 1: line up correctly. However, some of the supporters are seeing 78 00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:28,595 Speaker 1: stuff or wearing down themselves for the first time. Trump 79 00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:32,155 Speaker 1: posted an all over the map video yesterday. In it, 80 00:05:32,195 --> 00:05:36,715 Speaker 1: he called Asa Hutchinson Ada and acted like everybody got 81 00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:40,475 Speaker 1: what the joke was behind the insult. The right wing 82 00:05:40,595 --> 00:05:45,035 Speaker 1: BS artist Ian Miles Chong then tweeted, quote, Trump just 83 00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:50,635 Speaker 1: released a bizarre statement. Not sure if it makes much sense. Well, 84 00:05:50,635 --> 00:05:53,155 Speaker 1: it's an evergreen tweet obviously, but you get my point. 85 00:05:53,795 --> 00:05:58,835 Speaker 1: And then Mark Levin, the Falsetto voice radio host, posted 86 00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:01,755 Speaker 1: a news clip and wrote, why are all the fat 87 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:08,955 Speaker 1: GOP guys like Christy Hogan and Barr Trump and DeSantis haters? Wait? 88 00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:12,435 Speaker 1: Why are the fat GOP guys like Christy Hogan and 89 00:06:12,515 --> 00:06:20,035 Speaker 1: Bar Trump and DeSantis haters? So, Mark, you're saying Trump 90 00:06:20,155 --> 00:06:28,115 Speaker 1: is fat? There is another sam Alito all expenses paid 91 00:06:28,195 --> 00:06:32,075 Speaker 1: vacation scandal. It is not nearly as startling and quid 92 00:06:32,155 --> 00:06:35,075 Speaker 1: pro quo ish as taking a one hundred thousand dollars 93 00:06:35,115 --> 00:06:37,595 Speaker 1: private jet trip to Alaska courtesy of a hedge fund 94 00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:40,395 Speaker 1: guy and then voting for a Supreme Court judgment that 95 00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:43,955 Speaker 1: gives hedge fund guy two billion, four hundred million dollars. 96 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,915 Speaker 1: But CNN got an on the record confirmation about this 97 00:06:47,955 --> 00:06:50,915 Speaker 1: one from the director of the Notre Dame University Law 98 00:06:50,955 --> 00:06:54,875 Speaker 1: School Religious Liberty Initiative that her group did indeed pay 99 00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:58,475 Speaker 1: the traveling expenses for Alito to go to its conclave 100 00:06:58,595 --> 00:07:01,995 Speaker 1: in Rome last July and give a speech there mocking 101 00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:06,435 Speaker 1: anybody who dared to criticize him. No laws were broken, 102 00:07:06,515 --> 00:07:10,795 Speaker 1: because there are no laws governing Supreme Court justices, only 103 00:07:10,835 --> 00:07:14,555 Speaker 1: the basic tenets of you know, judicial honesty. The Notre 104 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:18,835 Speaker 1: Dame University Law School Religious Liberty Initiative has a legal clinic, 105 00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:21,755 Speaker 1: and since its founding in twenty twenty, it has filed 106 00:07:21,755 --> 00:07:24,595 Speaker 1: a series of Friend of the Court briefs on cases 107 00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:30,195 Speaker 1: being heard by the Supreme Court. Happily, Sam, Alito always 108 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:34,475 Speaker 1: has another legal hair he can split in his own defense. Quote. 109 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:38,315 Speaker 1: My understanding is that the Notre Dame Law Schools Religious 110 00:07:38,315 --> 00:07:42,675 Speaker 1: Liberty Initiative has a number of components, only one of 111 00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:45,715 Speaker 1: which is a clinic that, like the legal clinics at 112 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:49,795 Speaker 1: many other law schools, files amicus briefs in the Supreme Court. 113 00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:56,115 Speaker 1: I was not invited to speak in Rome by the clinic. Unquote. Hell, 114 00:07:56,395 --> 00:08:01,475 Speaker 1: that's all right, then, Sam. Obviously, the foremost problem you 115 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,835 Speaker 1: and I see here is the things that look like 116 00:08:03,955 --> 00:08:08,155 Speaker 1: bribes smell like bribes, sound like bribes, but legally are 117 00:08:08,195 --> 00:08:11,315 Speaker 1: not bribes. But there is a subtler problem in the 118 00:08:11,355 --> 00:08:15,395 Speaker 1: background too. That Alito speech in Rome the one that's 119 00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:18,995 Speaker 1: okay because the Notre Dame Law School Religious Liberty Initiative 120 00:08:19,035 --> 00:08:21,275 Speaker 1: paid for it. But the Notre Dame Law School Religious 121 00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:24,195 Speaker 1: Liberty Initiative Legal clinic is the one that files all 122 00:08:24,235 --> 00:08:27,235 Speaker 1: the briefs to the Supreme Court. Well, it also contained 123 00:08:27,235 --> 00:08:31,475 Speaker 1: an amazing bit of theocratic proselytizing in it. It stunned me, 124 00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:33,955 Speaker 1: then it stuns me to this day. 125 00:08:34,075 --> 00:08:37,275 Speaker 2: I'm reminded of an experience I had a number of 126 00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:40,515 Speaker 2: years ago in a museum in. 127 00:08:42,035 --> 00:08:42,435 Speaker 1: Berlin. 128 00:08:43,715 --> 00:08:50,115 Speaker 2: One of the exhibits was a rustic wooden cross. An 129 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:53,275 Speaker 2: affluent woman, a well dressed woman, and a young boy 130 00:08:53,635 --> 00:08:58,315 Speaker 2: were looking at this exhibit, and the young boy turned 131 00:08:58,355 --> 00:09:00,395 Speaker 2: to the woman, presumably his mother. 132 00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,075 Speaker 1: And said, who is that man? 133 00:09:04,675 --> 00:09:08,155 Speaker 2: My memory has stuck in my mind as a harbinger 134 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,795 Speaker 2: of what may light had. 135 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,995 Speaker 1: For our culture. Why son, that man murtyring himself on 136 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:23,115 Speaker 1: the cross is Sam Alito? Can't you tell? And the 137 00:09:23,155 --> 00:09:27,195 Speaker 1: third headline today, I am honestly indebted to Marjorie Taylor 138 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:30,995 Speaker 1: Barney Rubbell white supremacist Karen Green, and boy, could you 139 00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:33,075 Speaker 1: have gotten great odds that you would never hear me 140 00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:37,635 Speaker 1: say that in my life. But who was it, after 141 00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:42,515 Speaker 1: all who extended the quote Marjorie Taylor Green called Lauren 142 00:09:42,555 --> 00:09:46,475 Speaker 1: Bobert a quote little bitch unquote story yet another day? 143 00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:51,035 Speaker 1: Why it's Marjorie Taylor Green who has extended the Marjorie 144 00:09:51,035 --> 00:09:54,995 Speaker 1: Taylor Green called Lauren Bobert a quote little bitch unquote 145 00:09:55,035 --> 00:09:57,995 Speaker 1: story another day. That's who she was good enough to 146 00:09:58,035 --> 00:10:02,795 Speaker 1: explain to Semaphore News why she called Lauren Bobert a 147 00:10:02,915 --> 00:10:11,595 Speaker 1: quote lit be unquote quote she has genuinely been a 148 00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:14,715 Speaker 1: nasty little bitch to be unquote. Green retold the story 149 00:10:14,755 --> 00:10:17,355 Speaker 1: as witnesses had broken it to The Daily Beast and 150 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:21,315 Speaker 1: a Paulina lunatic was talking about impeachment when Bobert came 151 00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:24,715 Speaker 1: over to Green to complain about Green's recent remarks about impeachment. 152 00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:28,115 Speaker 1: I told her exactly what I think about her. They 153 00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:31,075 Speaker 1: then argued over who had the biggest impeachment, and Green 154 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,635 Speaker 1: claims she told Bobert to shut up, and of course 155 00:10:33,835 --> 00:10:37,475 Speaker 1: asked about this by CNN afterwards, Bobert replied, quote I'm 156 00:10:37,515 --> 00:10:40,395 Speaker 1: not in middle school like Bobert wouldn't know anything about 157 00:10:40,435 --> 00:10:44,315 Speaker 1: middle school. So to recap this update on the Marjorie 158 00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:48,355 Speaker 1: Taylor Green called Lauren Bobert a quote little bitch unquote story, 159 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:53,355 Speaker 1: Marjorie Taylor Green tells Semaphore News apparently official, she did 160 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:56,795 Speaker 1: call Lauren Bobert quote little bitch unquote. That's sway. It 161 00:10:56,875 --> 00:11:03,995 Speaker 1: is Friday, June Walter Cronk. Okay, this is where I'll 162 00:11:04,075 --> 00:11:10,955 Speaker 1: drop it. I promise no more quoting Green calling Bobert 163 00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:17,155 Speaker 1: a Bobert. I promise, I'm dropping it right now. It's 164 00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:20,595 Speaker 1: falling out of my hands right now. That's it. We're done. 165 00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:24,075 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not going to do it anymore. 166 00:11:50,955 --> 00:11:54,435 Speaker 1: Thank you, Nancy Faust. If anybody can advance the Green 167 00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:57,475 Speaker 1: Bobert b story, there's five bucks in it for you. 168 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:02,395 Speaker 1: Also of interest Jeff Zucker to buy CNN. Zucker, I 169 00:12:02,435 --> 00:12:04,355 Speaker 1: have an idea for your new eight PM show. Let 170 00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:07,955 Speaker 1: me just it this way. That's next. This is countdown. 171 00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:20,595 Speaker 1: This his countdown with Keith Olbooman. Postscripts to the news, 172 00:12:20,595 --> 00:12:24,675 Speaker 1: some headlines, some updates, some snarks, some predictions, Dateline Washington 173 00:12:24,755 --> 00:12:32,755 Speaker 1: one more Republican presidential candidate Will Heard. Will Heard the 174 00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:37,195 Speaker 1: political satirist. Oh no, no, no, that's Will Durst. Will 175 00:12:37,395 --> 00:12:41,395 Speaker 1: Heard was a congressman from Texas, and before that he 176 00:12:41,435 --> 00:12:45,275 Speaker 1: was in the CIA. Great resume. Meanwhile, Florida Senator Rick 177 00:12:45,355 --> 00:12:48,515 Speaker 1: Scott is reportedly looking at the weakness of the Dessantis 178 00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:51,515 Speaker 1: campaign and thinking of jumping in because the guy who 179 00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:55,475 Speaker 1: openly announced plans to cut Social Security and Medicare and 180 00:12:55,635 --> 00:12:58,635 Speaker 1: he looks like Voldemort from Harry Potter is the kind 181 00:12:58,675 --> 00:13:03,595 Speaker 1: of reasonable alternative to Trump that America seeks. Tell me 182 00:13:03,595 --> 00:13:07,515 Speaker 1: more about the other. One dateline Hamilton County, Indiana, the 183 00:13:07,555 --> 00:13:11,155 Speaker 1: local chapter of the fascist group Moms for Liberty, kind 184 00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,915 Speaker 1: of gave the game away. The group, which has been 185 00:13:13,955 --> 00:13:16,915 Speaker 1: trying to take over school boards nationwide to stop any 186 00:13:16,915 --> 00:13:21,915 Speaker 1: references to LGBTQ issues and erase all criticisms of white 187 00:13:21,995 --> 00:13:26,115 Speaker 1: people in history classes, launched a new online newsletter and 188 00:13:26,235 --> 00:13:29,435 Speaker 1: volume one page one upper right just before the masthead 189 00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:33,635 Speaker 1: a standalone quote, white lettering on a blue background, reading simply, 190 00:13:34,395 --> 00:13:39,395 Speaker 1: he alone, who owns the youth gains the future. Adolf Hitler. 191 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,875 Speaker 1: Version two of that from Moms for Hitler. A Moms 192 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:48,155 Speaker 1: for Liberty was Oops, we forgot to mention we're against 193 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:51,475 Speaker 1: that and against Hitler, and no, see it's the American 194 00:13:51,595 --> 00:13:56,035 Speaker 1: government that is Hitler. And uh wait, we'll be back 195 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,715 Speaker 1: to you with version three of this in a moment. 196 00:13:57,835 --> 00:14:01,995 Speaker 1: Version three was we condemn Adolf Hitler's actions, we should 197 00:14:02,035 --> 00:14:04,155 Speaker 1: not have quoted him in our newsletter and express our 198 00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:08,115 Speaker 1: deepest apology. Version four will be the moms for Hitler, 199 00:14:08,155 --> 00:14:14,115 Speaker 1: Liberty outside School singing, Deutschland, Deutschland, uber Alis and Dyline. 200 00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:16,235 Speaker 1: New York. It's quite a headline in the New York 201 00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:20,795 Speaker 1: Post quoting speculation that my former boss, the former CNN 202 00:14:20,915 --> 00:14:24,755 Speaker 1: boss Jeff Zucker, is a candidate to buy CNN from 203 00:14:24,835 --> 00:14:29,035 Speaker 1: Warner Bros. Discovery, where they've been on quite a role 204 00:14:29,155 --> 00:14:33,635 Speaker 1: recently cratering it and cratering HBO whereas it now calls 205 00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:38,395 Speaker 1: itself Max in the Network Witness relocation program, and this 206 00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:42,315 Speaker 1: week they went after Turner Classic Movies. The idea that 207 00:14:42,435 --> 00:14:45,355 Speaker 1: Zucker could get fired one year by CNN and then 208 00:14:45,395 --> 00:14:48,515 Speaker 1: wind up owning the place eighteen months later is intriguing 209 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,795 Speaker 1: and pleasing on several levels, and it sure couldn't be 210 00:14:51,835 --> 00:14:54,395 Speaker 1: worse than what they have now. But you should note 211 00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:56,955 Speaker 1: that The New York Post also in the same story, 212 00:14:56,995 --> 00:15:02,195 Speaker 1: reports that Comcast might buy Paramount and then sell CBS 213 00:15:02,195 --> 00:15:06,635 Speaker 1: to Warner Bros. And Warner Bros. With merge CBS with CNN, 214 00:15:07,075 --> 00:15:11,315 Speaker 1: or sell CNN in order to buy CBS, or or 215 00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:16,195 Speaker 1: Zucker could buy CBS because well, because it's not easy 216 00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:19,995 Speaker 1: to pad these speculative newspaper articles out to the requisite 217 00:15:20,035 --> 00:15:36,995 Speaker 1: twelve paragraphs. Still Ahead Fridays with Thurber. They are all 218 00:15:37,155 --> 00:15:40,555 Speaker 1: funny stories, but some Theerber stories are silly stories, and 219 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,755 Speaker 1: some Theurbers are cynical stories. But at least one is 220 00:15:43,795 --> 00:15:48,915 Speaker 1: a scary story, The Black Magic of Barney Holler. Ahead first, 221 00:15:48,955 --> 00:15:51,115 Speaker 1: the daily round up of the miscreants, morons and Dunning 222 00:15:51,155 --> 00:15:56,195 Speaker 1: Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's persons. In severld the 223 00:15:56,275 --> 00:16:00,395 Speaker 1: Bronze to Madd Senero, member of the Canadian Parliament representing 224 00:16:00,435 --> 00:16:04,435 Speaker 1: part of Edmonton. He has raised the issue none dare as. 225 00:16:05,475 --> 00:16:07,235 Speaker 1: He has written to the Speaker of the House of 226 00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:10,795 Speaker 1: Commons and demanded action quote it has come to buy 227 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:15,515 Speaker 1: attention to. Despite much anticipation, Taylor Swift's Eras tour has 228 00:16:15,555 --> 00:16:19,395 Speaker 1: neglected to include any Canadian dates or locations, as she 229 00:16:19,515 --> 00:16:23,675 Speaker 1: released her international dates, which includes stops throughout Asia and Europe. 230 00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:27,875 Speaker 1: First of all, that's really badly written. Secondly, Genero, with 231 00:16:28,035 --> 00:16:31,515 Speaker 1: the support of two other members of the Canadian Conservative Party, 232 00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:35,915 Speaker 1: says he is filing a quote official grievance, although quote 233 00:16:36,115 --> 00:16:39,715 Speaker 1: I don't know how one files an official grievance. And 234 00:16:39,795 --> 00:16:42,755 Speaker 1: if that was not unseerious enough for you, this chuckleheaded 235 00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:45,715 Speaker 1: idea is not even original. Earlier in the week, some 236 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:49,995 Speaker 1: Australian politicians said they are filing grievances because Swift is 237 00:16:50,035 --> 00:16:53,875 Speaker 1: only playing Sydney and Melbourne and not peth in Brisbane. 238 00:16:55,235 --> 00:16:57,275 Speaker 1: You should all get her indicted by the World Court 239 00:16:57,315 --> 00:17:00,475 Speaker 1: at the Hague. A nice twenty year prison term will 240 00:17:00,515 --> 00:17:07,435 Speaker 1: show her not to offend. Edmonton and Brisbane runner up 241 00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:12,755 Speaker 1: Charlie Kirk, right wing, mega funded, megaheaded troll. I swear 242 00:17:12,795 --> 00:17:14,835 Speaker 1: each time I see video of him, his head is 243 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:18,875 Speaker 1: a little bit bigger than it was before, and I'm 244 00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:23,275 Speaker 1: not sure if it's inflated or it's stuffed. Well, you 245 00:17:23,355 --> 00:17:25,675 Speaker 1: knew this take was coming. It's not a surprise. It's 246 00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:30,555 Speaker 1: still grotesque. Kirk says the Titanic tragedy tourists were killed 247 00:17:30,595 --> 00:17:35,795 Speaker 1: by wokeness, but he takes it one step further. First, 248 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,755 Speaker 1: Kirk blasted the Daily Beast for having reported that the 249 00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:42,195 Speaker 1: founder of the ocean Gate company was a frequent Republican donor, 250 00:17:42,635 --> 00:17:45,075 Speaker 1: as if that's like a super relevant thing, right, These 251 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:48,395 Speaker 1: people are repugnant, repulsive, and disgusting for publishing an article 252 00:17:48,475 --> 00:17:51,475 Speaker 1: like that. To be honest, I kind of agreed with 253 00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:53,995 Speaker 1: Kirk up till that point, but he could not take 254 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:58,195 Speaker 1: yes for an answer. His next words, wait for it here. Quote. 255 00:17:58,235 --> 00:18:00,915 Speaker 1: It is, however, separate to say that do you get 256 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,515 Speaker 1: your best in life? Do you get excellence if you 257 00:18:03,595 --> 00:18:06,515 Speaker 1: care about things that don't don't matter? The CEO of 258 00:18:06,595 --> 00:18:10,515 Speaker 1: ocean Gates says he was choosing and selecting his personnel 259 00:18:10,595 --> 00:18:14,235 Speaker 1: based on not wanting to have fifty year old white guys. 260 00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:17,875 Speaker 1: Then you could make the argument, albeit rather cruel and blunt. 261 00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:25,075 Speaker 1: He killed himself and his customers with wokeness. Unquote. Is 262 00:18:25,075 --> 00:18:27,795 Speaker 1: that twice as bad as that which Kirk had criticized? 263 00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,795 Speaker 1: Yes it is, but wait, he went for four times 264 00:18:29,795 --> 00:18:32,235 Speaker 1: as bad. Quote. Let this be a warning when we 265 00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:37,115 Speaker 1: say that we want to hire more black pilots, hold on, 266 00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:40,595 Speaker 1: slow down. People could die if you embrace the poison 267 00:18:40,635 --> 00:18:44,955 Speaker 1: of wokeness unquote. You know, watch out for that wokeness. 268 00:18:44,955 --> 00:18:48,595 Speaker 1: Stick to the racism. Racism is always safe for you, Charlie, 269 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,075 Speaker 1: there it is. Can you tell he just hired the 270 00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:54,635 Speaker 1: writer producer who got fired by Tucker Carlson for too 271 00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:57,675 Speaker 1: much racist posting. Oh, I don't like him, he's too 272 00:18:57,755 --> 00:19:01,595 Speaker 1: racist for me. But our winners Commissioner Gary Beckman, and 273 00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:05,555 Speaker 1: the National Hockey League, you may recall, after several years 274 00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:09,395 Speaker 1: at the forefront of inclusion and charity of all kinds, 275 00:19:10,035 --> 00:19:13,115 Speaker 1: the NHL suddenly got scared last winter when a Russian 276 00:19:13,155 --> 00:19:16,435 Speaker 1: player on the Philadelphia Flyers refused to wear a Pride 277 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,995 Speaker 1: Night jersey for the ten minute warm up before the game. 278 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:22,515 Speaker 1: No slogans on the jersey, there's no group names, there 279 00:19:22,555 --> 00:19:27,195 Speaker 1: are no support gayness, there's nothing on it, just letters 280 00:19:27,235 --> 00:19:30,955 Speaker 1: and numbers in a rainbow pattern. And then the jerseys 281 00:19:30,955 --> 00:19:33,675 Speaker 1: are auctioned off for charity because the players wore them 282 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,275 Speaker 1: and they had the players' names on them and one 283 00:19:36,315 --> 00:19:39,515 Speaker 1: guy wouldn't wear it. Soon after, a Russian in Minnesota 284 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:41,755 Speaker 1: demanded out, then one in New York, then a couple 285 00:19:41,835 --> 00:19:45,915 Speaker 1: of religious nuts in Florida, and now Commissioner Bettman announces 286 00:19:45,915 --> 00:19:51,635 Speaker 1: that the league will not wear Pride night jerseys because quote, 287 00:19:51,675 --> 00:19:59,195 Speaker 1: it's become a distraction. He announces this during Pride Month. Nor, 288 00:19:59,235 --> 00:20:03,115 Speaker 1: he says, will they have Heritage night jerseys, nor Military 289 00:20:03,195 --> 00:20:07,035 Speaker 1: night jerseys. Let's see a that, nor hockey fights Cancer 290 00:20:07,115 --> 00:20:11,955 Speaker 1: Knights jerseys, nor any other cause night jerseys worn in pregame. 291 00:20:12,355 --> 00:20:15,195 Speaker 1: Oh oh, the league will still make the jerseys and 292 00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:19,155 Speaker 1: they'll still have the Knights players, just won't wear the jerseys. 293 00:20:19,515 --> 00:20:22,595 Speaker 1: That way, the league can still claim it's having those 294 00:20:22,715 --> 00:20:26,195 Speaker 1: nights and supporting inclusion, when in fact it will destroy 295 00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:29,355 Speaker 1: the auction value of those jerseys, and thus the charities 296 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,595 Speaker 1: will be the ones who suffer financially. But the league, 297 00:20:32,955 --> 00:20:34,835 Speaker 1: which is doing this because of one reason, and one 298 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:38,835 Speaker 1: reason only, fear of protest and boycott by the fascists 299 00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:42,835 Speaker 1: and the evangelical homophobes in this country and in Canada, 300 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:48,795 Speaker 1: the league will not suffer financially because it caved. Gary 301 00:20:48,995 --> 00:20:54,355 Speaker 1: Bettman caved. Gary Betman gave in to the bigots, and 302 00:20:54,395 --> 00:20:57,195 Speaker 1: the league can still say hockey is for everyone, even 303 00:20:57,195 --> 00:21:02,355 Speaker 1: though now it isn't. And if you're dropping the low 304 00:21:02,555 --> 00:21:05,515 Speaker 1: key subtle symbol in which the National Hockey League was 305 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:10,195 Speaker 1: telling LGBTQ fans and players and others they were welcomed 306 00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,115 Speaker 1: and safe at hockey games. Guess squad, They will now 307 00:21:13,115 --> 00:21:17,155 Speaker 1: know they are not welcomed or safe. And Gary Bettman 308 00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:21,275 Speaker 1: is worse than a homophobe because he has surrendered to 309 00:21:21,475 --> 00:21:28,395 Speaker 1: homophobes for money and pretended he is not a spineless scumbag. 310 00:21:29,115 --> 00:21:33,555 Speaker 1: Gary Bettman, commissioner of the National Hockey League and spineless 311 00:21:34,195 --> 00:21:37,675 Speaker 1: scumbag and the team owners who went along with him 312 00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:54,835 Speaker 1: two days worst persons in the world to the number 313 00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:57,435 Speaker 1: one story on the Countdown and It's Fridays with Thurber, 314 00:21:57,555 --> 00:22:01,195 Speaker 1: And only occasionally did the great American humorist bend towards 315 00:22:02,035 --> 00:22:07,235 Speaker 1: the supernatural. Lots OF's characters, like his fictionalized version of 316 00:22:07,235 --> 00:22:10,755 Speaker 1: his own mother, claimed to get messages from beyond the 317 00:22:10,835 --> 00:22:14,515 Speaker 1: grave and stuff like that, but rarely did Thurber ever 318 00:22:14,555 --> 00:22:18,515 Speaker 1: go a cult in the first person. This is not 319 00:22:18,555 --> 00:22:21,875 Speaker 1: true in one of my all time favorites of his stories, 320 00:22:22,315 --> 00:22:25,915 Speaker 1: The Black Magic of Barney Haller, in which a slight 321 00:22:26,035 --> 00:22:29,315 Speaker 1: accent turns into something that is just right up against 322 00:22:29,355 --> 00:22:35,155 Speaker 1: the line of being actually a little scary but still hilarious. 323 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:41,595 Speaker 1: The Black Magic of Barney Haller by James Thurber. It 324 00:22:41,675 --> 00:22:43,715 Speaker 1: was one of those hot days on which the earth 325 00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:47,475 Speaker 1: is uninhabitable, even as early as ten o'clock in the morning, 326 00:22:47,915 --> 00:22:50,435 Speaker 1: even on the hill where I live, under the dark maples. 327 00:22:51,035 --> 00:22:54,035 Speaker 1: The long porch was hot, and the wicker chair I 328 00:22:54,075 --> 00:22:57,875 Speaker 1: sat in complained hotly. My coffee was beginning to wear off, 329 00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:01,235 Speaker 1: and with it the momentary illusion it gives that things 330 00:23:01,235 --> 00:23:05,875 Speaker 1: are right and life is good. There were sultry mutterings 331 00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:08,435 Speaker 1: of thunder. I had a quick feeling that if I 332 00:23:08,475 --> 00:23:12,915 Speaker 1: looked up from my book, I would see Barney Holler. 333 00:23:14,115 --> 00:23:18,275 Speaker 1: I looked up, and there he was, coming along the road, 334 00:23:18,835 --> 00:23:22,635 Speaker 1: lightning playing about his shoulders, thunder following him like a dog. 335 00:23:24,395 --> 00:23:29,995 Speaker 1: Barney is, or was, my hired man. He is strong 336 00:23:30,155 --> 00:23:35,795 Speaker 1: and amiable, sweaty and dependable, slowly and heavily confident, but 337 00:23:35,875 --> 00:23:43,155 Speaker 1: he is also eerie. He traffics with the devil. His 338 00:23:43,315 --> 00:23:45,715 Speaker 1: ears twitch when he talks, but it isn't so much 339 00:23:45,795 --> 00:23:49,875 Speaker 1: that as the things he says. Once in late June, 340 00:23:49,915 --> 00:23:52,435 Speaker 1: when all of a moment, sabers began to flash brightly 341 00:23:52,475 --> 00:23:56,395 Speaker 1: in the heavens and bowling balls rumbled, I took refuge 342 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:58,915 Speaker 1: in the barn. I always have a feeling that I 343 00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,355 Speaker 1: am going to be struck by lightning and either riven 344 00:24:01,555 --> 00:24:03,635 Speaker 1: like an old apple tree, or left with a foot 345 00:24:03,635 --> 00:24:06,195 Speaker 1: that aches. In rainy weather and a habit of painting, 346 00:24:06,915 --> 00:24:11,555 Speaker 1: these things happen. Barney came in not to escape the 347 00:24:11,555 --> 00:24:15,515 Speaker 1: storm to which he is or pretends to be indifferent, 348 00:24:15,795 --> 00:24:19,435 Speaker 1: but to put the sigh the way. Suddenly, he said 349 00:24:19,475 --> 00:24:21,515 Speaker 1: the first of those things that made me, when I 350 00:24:21,595 --> 00:24:25,635 Speaker 1: was with him, faintly creepy. He pointed at the house. 351 00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:29,435 Speaker 1: Once I said, this boat come down to rock, He said, 352 00:24:31,075 --> 00:24:33,155 Speaker 1: it is phenomena like that of which I stand in 353 00:24:33,195 --> 00:24:38,195 Speaker 1: constant dread, boats coming down rocks, people being teleported, statues 354 00:24:38,275 --> 00:24:40,635 Speaker 1: dripping blood, old regrets, and dreams in the form of 355 00:24:40,715 --> 00:24:45,595 Speaker 1: luna moths fluttering against the windows at midnight. Of course, 356 00:24:45,635 --> 00:24:49,155 Speaker 1: I finally figured out what Barney meant, or what I 357 00:24:49,235 --> 00:24:52,995 Speaker 1: comforted myself with believing he meant something about a bolt 358 00:24:53,315 --> 00:24:58,195 Speaker 1: coming down the lightning rod on the house, a commonplace 359 00:24:58,275 --> 00:25:01,995 Speaker 1: and utterly natural thing. I should have dismissed it, but 360 00:25:02,075 --> 00:25:05,715 Speaker 1: it had its effect on me. Here was a stolid man, 361 00:25:06,075 --> 00:25:09,555 Speaker 1: smelling of hay and leather, who talked like somebody out 362 00:25:09,555 --> 00:25:13,315 Speaker 1: of Charles Fort's books, or like a traveler back from 363 00:25:13,475 --> 00:25:18,195 Speaker 1: oz And all the time the lightning was zigging and 364 00:25:18,315 --> 00:25:22,475 Speaker 1: zagging around him. On this hot morning, when I saw 365 00:25:22,515 --> 00:25:25,915 Speaker 1: Barney coming along with his faithful storm trudging behind him, 366 00:25:26,075 --> 00:25:28,955 Speaker 1: I went back frowningly to my copy of Swan's Way. 367 00:25:29,715 --> 00:25:32,515 Speaker 1: I hope that Barney, seeing me absorbed in a book, 368 00:25:32,555 --> 00:25:37,395 Speaker 1: would pass by without saying anything. I read. I myself 369 00:25:37,435 --> 00:25:40,235 Speaker 1: seemed actually to have become the subject of my book, 370 00:25:40,595 --> 00:25:44,915 Speaker 1: A church a quartet, the rivalry between Francis the First 371 00:25:44,955 --> 00:25:48,275 Speaker 1: and Charles the Fifth. I could feel Barney standing looking 372 00:25:48,275 --> 00:25:51,915 Speaker 1: at me, but I didn't look at him this morning. 373 00:25:51,955 --> 00:25:55,515 Speaker 1: By and by, said Barney, I go hunt grocer's and 374 00:25:55,555 --> 00:26:02,115 Speaker 1: d voods. That's fine, I said, and turned a page 375 00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:04,595 Speaker 1: and pretended to be engrossed in what I was reading. 376 00:26:05,795 --> 00:26:09,115 Speaker 1: Barney walked on. He had wanted to talk some more, 377 00:26:09,155 --> 00:26:12,675 Speaker 1: but he walked on after a paragraph where two his 378 00:26:12,755 --> 00:26:15,355 Speaker 1: words began to come between me and the words in 379 00:26:15,435 --> 00:26:20,995 Speaker 1: the book. Bime by, I go hunt grotches in dvoods. 380 00:26:23,155 --> 00:26:25,675 Speaker 1: If you are susceptible such things, it is not difficult 381 00:26:25,715 --> 00:26:30,595 Speaker 1: to visualize grotches. They fluttered into my mind, ugly little 382 00:26:30,595 --> 00:26:34,435 Speaker 1: creatures about the size of whipperwills, only covered with blood 383 00:26:34,515 --> 00:26:40,515 Speaker 1: and honey, and the scrapings of church bells, grotches. Who 384 00:26:40,795 --> 00:26:45,315 Speaker 1: and what I wondered, really was this thing in the 385 00:26:45,315 --> 00:26:48,835 Speaker 1: form of a hired man that kept anointing me ominously 386 00:26:48,995 --> 00:26:55,235 Speaker 1: In passing with abra cadabra. Barney didn't go toward the 387 00:26:55,275 --> 00:26:58,275 Speaker 1: woods at once. He weeded the corn, He picked apple 388 00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:01,875 Speaker 1: boughs off the lawn. He knocked a yellowjacket's nest down 389 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:04,875 Speaker 1: out of a plum tree. It was raining now, but 390 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:07,395 Speaker 1: he didn't seem to notice it. He kept looking at 391 00:27:07,435 --> 00:27:08,715 Speaker 1: me out of the corner of his eye, and I 392 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:12,075 Speaker 1: kept looking at him out of the corner of my eyebod. Dime, 393 00:27:12,155 --> 00:27:15,595 Speaker 1: is it, beneeze? He called to me. Finally, I put 394 00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:18,555 Speaker 1: down my book and sauntered out to him, When you 395 00:27:18,915 --> 00:27:22,955 Speaker 1: go for those grotches, I said, firmly, I'll go with you. 396 00:27:23,995 --> 00:27:25,795 Speaker 1: I was sure he wouldn't want me to go. I 397 00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:28,915 Speaker 1: was right. He protested that he could get the grotches himself. 398 00:27:29,275 --> 00:27:34,035 Speaker 1: I'll go with you, I said, stubbornly. We stood looking 399 00:27:34,075 --> 00:27:36,915 Speaker 1: at each other, and then abruptly, just to give him 400 00:27:37,235 --> 00:27:42,075 Speaker 1: something to ponder over, I quoted, I'm going out to 401 00:27:42,155 --> 00:27:45,075 Speaker 1: clean the pasture spring. I'll only stop to take the 402 00:27:45,155 --> 00:27:48,715 Speaker 1: leaves away and wait to watch the water clear. I may, 403 00:27:49,315 --> 00:27:55,755 Speaker 1: I shan't be gone long. You come too. It wasn't, 404 00:27:55,795 --> 00:27:59,715 Speaker 1: I realized, very good abercadabra, but it served. Barney looked 405 00:27:59,755 --> 00:28:04,115 Speaker 1: at me in a puzzled way. Yes, he said, vaguely. 406 00:28:05,595 --> 00:28:08,475 Speaker 1: It's five minutes of twelve, I said, remembering he had asked. 407 00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:11,795 Speaker 1: Then we go, he said, And we trudged through the 408 00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:14,835 Speaker 1: rain over to the orchard fence and climbed that, and 409 00:28:14,955 --> 00:28:16,995 Speaker 1: opened a gate and went out into the meadow that 410 00:28:17,075 --> 00:28:20,235 Speaker 1: slopes up to the woods. I had a prefiguring of 411 00:28:20,275 --> 00:28:23,755 Speaker 1: Barney at some proper spot deep in the woods, prancing 412 00:28:23,795 --> 00:28:28,355 Speaker 1: around like a goat, casting off his false nature, shedding 413 00:28:28,395 --> 00:28:34,275 Speaker 1: his hired man's garments, dropping his teutonic accent, repeating diabolical phrases, 414 00:28:35,035 --> 00:28:40,755 Speaker 1: conjuring up grotches. It was a great slash of lightning 415 00:28:40,995 --> 00:28:43,475 Speaker 1: and along bumping of thunder. As we reached the edge 416 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:48,275 Speaker 1: of the woods, I turned and fled, glancing over my shoulder, 417 00:28:48,315 --> 00:28:52,675 Speaker 1: I saw Barney standing and staring after me. It turned 418 00:28:52,715 --> 00:28:56,395 Speaker 1: out on the face of it to be as simple 419 00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:59,995 Speaker 1: as the boat that came down the rock. Grotches were 420 00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:04,515 Speaker 1: crotches crouched saplings, which he cut down to use a 421 00:29:04,795 --> 00:29:07,875 Speaker 1: supports under the peach boughs, because in bearing time they 422 00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:09,875 Speaker 1: become so heavy with fruit that there was danger of 423 00:29:09,875 --> 00:29:13,555 Speaker 1: the branches snapping off. I saw Barney later putting the 424 00:29:13,595 --> 00:29:16,675 Speaker 1: crotches in place. We didn't have much to say to 425 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:20,435 Speaker 1: each other. I can see now that he was beginning 426 00:29:20,435 --> 00:29:27,075 Speaker 1: to suspect me too. About six o'clock next evening, I 427 00:29:27,195 --> 00:29:31,075 Speaker 1: was alone in the house and sleeping upstairs. Barney rapped 428 00:29:31,115 --> 00:29:33,955 Speaker 1: on the door of the front porch. I knew it 429 00:29:33,995 --> 00:29:37,835 Speaker 1: was Barney because he called to me. I woke up slowly. 430 00:29:38,355 --> 00:29:41,395 Speaker 1: It was dark for six o'clock. I heard rumblings and 431 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:45,315 Speaker 1: soft flickerings. Barney was standing at the front door with 432 00:29:45,395 --> 00:29:49,475 Speaker 1: his storm at heel. I had the conviction that it 433 00:29:49,555 --> 00:29:53,315 Speaker 1: wasn't storming anywhere except around my house. There couldn't, without 434 00:29:53,315 --> 00:29:55,675 Speaker 1: the intervention of the Devil or one of his agents, 435 00:29:55,715 --> 00:30:01,035 Speaker 1: be so many lightning storms in one neighborhood. I had 436 00:30:01,075 --> 00:30:05,475 Speaker 1: been dreaming of Proost and the church at com and 437 00:30:05,635 --> 00:30:09,155 Speaker 1: meadowlands dipped in tea, and the rivalry between Francis the 438 00:30:09,155 --> 00:30:11,875 Speaker 1: First and Charles the fifth. My head whirled and I 439 00:30:11,915 --> 00:30:15,875 Speaker 1: didn't get up. Barney kept on wrapping. He called out again. 440 00:30:16,675 --> 00:30:19,835 Speaker 1: There was a flash followed by a sharp splitting sound. 441 00:30:20,035 --> 00:30:23,515 Speaker 1: Now I leaped up this time. I thought he is 442 00:30:23,595 --> 00:30:27,035 Speaker 1: here to get me. I had a notion that he 443 00:30:27,155 --> 00:30:30,675 Speaker 1: was standing at the door, barefooted, with a wreath of 444 00:30:30,755 --> 00:30:33,755 Speaker 1: grape leaves around his head, and a wild animal's skin 445 00:30:34,035 --> 00:30:36,555 Speaker 1: slung over his shoulder. I didn't want to go down, 446 00:30:37,075 --> 00:30:41,995 Speaker 1: but I did. He was as usual, solid, amiable, dressed 447 00:30:42,075 --> 00:30:44,795 Speaker 1: like a hired man. I went out onto the porch 448 00:30:45,035 --> 00:30:47,635 Speaker 1: and looked at the improbable storm now on in all 449 00:30:47,675 --> 00:30:50,835 Speaker 1: of its fury. This is getting pretty bad, I said meaningly. 450 00:30:51,315 --> 00:30:55,835 Speaker 1: Barney looked at the rain placidly well. I said, irritably, 451 00:30:55,955 --> 00:30:59,915 Speaker 1: what's up? Barney turned his little squinty blue eyes on me. 452 00:31:01,155 --> 00:31:04,595 Speaker 1: We go to the gaddock now and become warbs, he said, 453 00:31:06,515 --> 00:31:10,355 Speaker 1: the hell we do? I thought to myself quickly. I 454 00:31:10,555 --> 00:31:14,755 Speaker 1: was uneasy. I was you might even say terrified, but 455 00:31:14,835 --> 00:31:17,195 Speaker 1: I determined not to show it. If he began to 456 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:21,075 Speaker 1: chant incantations or to make obscene signs, or if he 457 00:31:21,115 --> 00:31:23,995 Speaker 1: attempted to sling me over his shoulder. I resolved to 458 00:31:24,035 --> 00:31:26,355 Speaker 1: plunge right out into that storm, lightning it all, and 459 00:31:26,435 --> 00:31:29,355 Speaker 1: run to the nearest house. I didn't know what they 460 00:31:29,395 --> 00:31:31,435 Speaker 1: would think at the nearest house when I burst in 461 00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:33,995 Speaker 1: upon them, or what I would tell them, but I 462 00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:38,155 Speaker 1: didn't intend to accompany this amiable looking fiend to any 463 00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:44,595 Speaker 1: garrick and become a warb. I tried to persuade myself 464 00:31:44,595 --> 00:31:47,315 Speaker 1: that there was some simple explanation that warbs would turn 465 00:31:47,395 --> 00:31:49,835 Speaker 1: out to be as innocuous as boats on rocks and 466 00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:54,155 Speaker 1: grotches in Davoudes. But the conviction gripped me in the 467 00:31:54,355 --> 00:31:58,235 Speaker 1: growling of the thunder that here, at last was the 468 00:31:58,355 --> 00:32:03,595 Speaker 1: moment when Barney Holler, or whoever he was, had chosen 469 00:32:03,675 --> 00:32:07,435 Speaker 1: to get me. I walked toward the steps that led 470 00:32:07,475 --> 00:32:12,115 Speaker 1: to the lawn and turned and faced him grimly. Listen, 471 00:32:12,515 --> 00:32:14,715 Speaker 1: I barked, Suddenly, did you know that even when it 472 00:32:14,795 --> 00:32:18,395 Speaker 1: isn't brillig I can produce slythe toes? Did you happen 473 00:32:18,435 --> 00:32:22,275 Speaker 1: to know that the Momrath never lived that could outgrabe me? Yeah? 474 00:32:22,275 --> 00:32:24,675 Speaker 1: And furthermore, I can become anything I want to, even 475 00:32:24,675 --> 00:32:27,275 Speaker 1: if I were a warb. I wouldn't have to keep 476 00:32:27,315 --> 00:32:29,315 Speaker 1: on being one if I didn't want to. I can 477 00:32:29,355 --> 00:32:32,275 Speaker 1: become a playing card at will too. Once I was 478 00:32:32,355 --> 00:32:34,155 Speaker 1: the jack of clubs, only I forgot to say my 479 00:32:34,195 --> 00:32:39,435 Speaker 1: glasses off, and some guy recognized me. I. Barney was 480 00:32:39,515 --> 00:32:43,315 Speaker 1: backing slowly away toward the petunia box at one end 481 00:32:43,315 --> 00:32:47,035 Speaker 1: of the porch. His little blue eyes were wide. He 482 00:32:47,155 --> 00:32:50,355 Speaker 1: saw that I had him. I think I go now, 483 00:32:50,595 --> 00:32:53,875 Speaker 1: he said, and he walked out into the rain. The 484 00:32:53,955 --> 00:32:58,555 Speaker 1: rain followed him down the road. I have a new 485 00:32:58,675 --> 00:33:01,755 Speaker 1: hired man now. Barney never came back to work for 486 00:33:01,795 --> 00:33:04,995 Speaker 1: me after that day. Of course, I figured out finally 487 00:33:05,395 --> 00:33:07,715 Speaker 1: what he meant about the garrick and the wharves. He 488 00:33:07,755 --> 00:33:09,915 Speaker 1: had simply got horribly mixed up in trying to tell 489 00:33:09,955 --> 00:33:12,315 Speaker 1: me that he was going up to the garrett and 490 00:33:12,435 --> 00:33:18,395 Speaker 1: clear out the wasps, of which I have thousands. The 491 00:33:18,515 --> 00:33:22,195 Speaker 1: new hired man is afraid of them. Barney could have 492 00:33:22,275 --> 00:33:24,555 Speaker 1: scoop them up in his hands and thrown them out 493 00:33:24,595 --> 00:33:29,675 Speaker 1: a window without getting stung. I am sure he trafficked 494 00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:33,395 Speaker 1: with the devil, but I am sorry I let him go. 495 00:33:46,995 --> 00:33:48,795 Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank 496 00:33:48,835 --> 00:33:51,035 Speaker 1: you for listening. Here The credits. Most of the music 497 00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:53,955 Speaker 1: was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray and John 498 00:33:53,995 --> 00:33:58,195 Speaker 1: Phillip Schanel. The Countdown musical directors, Guitars, bass and drums 499 00:33:58,235 --> 00:34:01,755 Speaker 1: by Brian Ray, All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip 500 00:34:01,795 --> 00:34:05,715 Speaker 1: Shaneil and produced by Tko Brothers. Toven's elections have been 501 00:34:05,755 --> 00:34:09,235 Speaker 1: arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music 502 00:34:09,355 --> 00:34:12,075 Speaker 1: is the Olderman theme from ESPN two and it was 503 00:34:12,075 --> 00:34:15,555 Speaker 1: written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. And 504 00:34:15,635 --> 00:34:22,235 Speaker 1: performed by the ESPN Philharmonic Orchestra. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss. 505 00:34:22,235 --> 00:34:25,435 Speaker 1: The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was 506 00:34:25,475 --> 00:34:28,795 Speaker 1: my friend Jonathan Banks. Everything else is pretty much my fault. 507 00:34:28,995 --> 00:34:31,355 Speaker 1: So that's countdown for this, the eight hundred and ninety 508 00:34:31,475 --> 00:34:35,155 Speaker 1: ninth day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the 509 00:34:35,195 --> 00:34:38,595 Speaker 1: democratically elected government of the United States. Arrest him again 510 00:34:39,075 --> 00:34:42,475 Speaker 1: while we still can. The next scheduled countdown is Monday 511 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:45,195 Speaker 1: till then. I'm Keith Olberman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 512 00:34:45,675 --> 00:34:52,955 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production 513 00:34:53,195 --> 00:34:58,515 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, Visit the iHeartRadio app, 514 00:34:58,595 --> 00:35:01,955 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.