Speaker 1: Let's talk about a couple of things. One is New
Speaker 1: York City. I told you guys about getting hit in
Speaker 1: the face, and David Spade and Dana Carvey invited me
Speaker 1: on their podcast. I had been asked by I think
Speaker 1: Don Lemon and different people some other news network to
Speaker 1: talk about it, and I just didn't feel like talking
Speaker 1: about it. But because it's David Spade, who I love,
Speaker 1: and Dana Carvey, who I admire, and you know, you
Speaker 1: guys know I love comics, I went on their podcast
Speaker 1: together to talk about New York and it got into
Speaker 1: a conversation about New York crime. It was initially going
Speaker 1: to be about me and getting hit in the face,
Speaker 1: which was a trend or is a trend, and we
Speaker 1: started talking about New York crime, and it led me
Speaker 1: to a whole thought process and conversation with David about
Speaker 1: a few things I mentioned on his podcast. And no
Speaker 1: shade to Jerry Seinfeld, who I think is great but
Speaker 1: a man when the pandemic started, said New York is dead.
Speaker 1: And Jerry Seinfeld got personally triggered and annoyed and wrote
Speaker 1: an open letter and I forgot I think it was
Speaker 1: in the New York Times and basically criticizing this guy
Speaker 1: and saying he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
Speaker 1: New York is not dead, and we're New Yorkers and
Speaker 1: we're survivors and we're fighters and whatever, and that's true,
Speaker 1: but New York is kind of dead. And like I
Speaker 1: was talking to you know, I've been talking about like
Speaker 1: several New Yorker New Yorkers, and I bought an apartment
Speaker 1: in New York. So believe me, it's not like I
Speaker 1: don't want this to be the opposite. And it sounds
Speaker 1: like I'm a hater and I'm not being but it's
Speaker 1: taken a real beating. And that guy who wrote that
Speaker 1: article was right in his prophecy, and Jerry Seinfeld was
Speaker 1: wrong and saying like it's not dead. I mean, Jerry
Speaker 1: Seinfeld's right too in saying that New Yorkers are survivors
Speaker 1: and fighters, but like it's a shit show right now.
Speaker 1: And so I was talking today to my publicist and
Speaker 1: her friend knew someone who has held at gunpoint at
Speaker 1: Duncan Donuts. My daughter's friend was held at gunpoint at
Speaker 1: Duncan Donuts. Coincidentally, my same friend knew someone who got
Speaker 1: hit in the head with a face of a brick
Speaker 1: by a homeless person in New York City. I described
Speaker 1: being hit in the face. A lot of women are
Speaker 1: describing that, and my publicist was saying that now she
Speaker 1: walks and is always on her phone on the street,
Speaker 1: and now she's like always worried, so like everyone's on alert.
Speaker 1: And that was something that Dana Carvey brought up, like
Speaker 1: regardless of whether something does happen, has happened, or is
Speaker 1: going to happen, we feel like it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: We are walking around heightened. And I was actually at
Speaker 1: a drug store in Miami last week. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's as bad. I'm sure it's not great, because
Speaker 1: crime is bad in many places, many cities, but I
Speaker 1: was in Walgreens just every person that came anywhere close
Speaker 1: to me I felt was a threat, Like I just
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be And I just think about
Speaker 1: my daughter walking up and down the aisles of CBS
Speaker 1: and thinking life is normal, and it freaks me out
Speaker 1: because I was also talking about the fact that everything's
Speaker 1: behind a cage. Like if you go into New York
Speaker 1: City and you want to get something very basic, it
Speaker 1: could be miscoua it could be like lotion, cheap lotion, anything, toothpaste,
Speaker 1: and there's some things that are not locked up, and
Speaker 1: you're wondering why those things aren't locked up because maybe
Speaker 1: sometimes they're more expensive. It's just like a random thing,
Speaker 1: or there are things that are easy for people to steal.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but easily eighty percent of what I'm
Speaker 1: looking for is locked up in the store. So the
Speaker 1: thing is that the system is Fredo. Fredo's the character
Speaker 1: and the godfather that had no respect, Like the system
Speaker 1: is not respected. And then you go one layer deeper
Speaker 1: and you're talking about this and you're saying things like
Speaker 1: which I said on his podcast. When Juliani was in office,
Speaker 1: it was the not fucking around Crew, and for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: whatever he specifically did, the crime was down. And I
Speaker 1: don't really I was young then and I don't remember,
Speaker 1: but I know that that was the general sentiment, and
Speaker 1: that years before that, New York had been pretty grim.
Speaker 1: In the seventies, New York were scary, Like New York
Speaker 1: City was a scary place, and we're kind of there
Speaker 1: now and we need the not fucking round Crew, which
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with politics. So someone's gotta get
Speaker 1: in the fucking mix and change this shit, because it's
Speaker 1: not a joke. The system is not respected. If you go,
Speaker 1: if you know, you could just walk in and steal
Speaker 1: whatever you want because you know that there are no consequences.
Speaker 1: Put your kids in a school where there are no rules.
Speaker 1: Put your kids in a college, a preschool, any grade
Speaker 1: and there are no rules because you could get away
Speaker 1: with anything, do drugs, steal something, do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: You're not getting caught, You're not getting in trouble. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna go that great. Last week, I was in
Speaker 1: Miami and it was taking twenty minutes. I was trying
Speaker 1: to get into my eyelash error, which was a big failure,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to put on eyelashes, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to put on fake eyelashes, and I had fake eyelashes,
Speaker 1: I think in my bag or I'm I no, I
Speaker 1: know exactly what happened. The fake eyelashes were locked up
Speaker 1: unlike this thing, like it wasn't the cage, but like
Speaker 1: they were, and I rang and I asked somebody, and
Speaker 1: it was like fifteen minutes later just to get the
Speaker 1: fucking eyelashes off right, So what did I do? It
Speaker 1: was in a paper like you know that little circle
Speaker 1: that hangs on the hook. I ripped open the paper,
Speaker 1: took the lashes off, and ripped open the glue thing
Speaker 1: and took them up to the counter to pay for them,
Speaker 1: like they were out of there. They were like the
Speaker 1: package was ripped and then went up to pay. It's
Speaker 1: harder to pay than it is to steal. That's fucked up,
Speaker 1: so something has to be done. New York is not
Speaker 1: the same New York is in a way dead. So
Speaker 1: that article was correct. Like what they meant was new
Speaker 1: York is dead as we know it, and it is
Speaker 1: a shell of its former self. It is not the
Speaker 1: same new York. She is suffering, and she needs help,
Speaker 1: and somebody needs to get involved, and somebody. We need
Speaker 1: the not fucking around crew. Now, I am my daughter
Speaker 1: anywhere she is like, wait a minute, had you get there?
Speaker 1: What time is it was a dark did? Like wait
Speaker 1: a minute? No? I sent her every story to the
Speaker 1: point where I'm annoying. I'm like, no, this person just
Speaker 1: got I don't you don't want to scare your kids,
Speaker 1: You don't want to freak them out? What do I
Speaker 1: do scare my kid? Freak her out? Like I'm choosing fear.
Speaker 1: I want to instill fear in her because my alternative
Speaker 1: is pain and death, like and crime. So like, this
Speaker 1: is what we're dealing with. The choices of my daughter
Speaker 1: are instill fear or she's walking through the streets of
Speaker 1: Manhattan thinking everything's normal. I don't want this life, and
Speaker 1: I don't want this life for her. I really don't
Speaker 1: want this life for her. I want her out of
Speaker 1: the city. I got an apartment there as a necessary evil,
Speaker 1: and I feel no problem saying a necessary evil. But
Speaker 1: the city's not what it used to be in any way,
Speaker 1: shape or form, and I would like whoever the version
Speaker 1: of the Not Fucking Around Crew is. I don't give
Speaker 1: a fuck if it's Mickey Mouse, Donald Dunk or Hello Kitty.
Speaker 1: I just want someone in there that's gonna crack skulls.
Speaker 1: It does not have anything to do with whether you're
Speaker 1: a Democrat or a Republican. If you want to be
Speaker 1: safe and the girl the producer just told me on
Speaker 1: this podcast after I said this, thinking it was too much,
Speaker 1: they said, every single girl in New York City is
Speaker 1: buying a taser. My daughter has has pepper spray, and
Speaker 1: one of those alarm things. She's she had it since
Speaker 1: she was twelve. I just would like to say I
Speaker 1: love Kristen Wig. I've met Kristin Wig, I've texted with
Speaker 1: Kristien Wig. I just love Kristen Wigg. This is just
Speaker 1: a Kristen Wig appreciation post. So this is a kW
Speaker 1: a quap. It sounds like some bad venarial disease. But
Speaker 1: it's a Christen Wig appreciation post. Why because she looks
Speaker 1: better than she ever has. She s had some sort
Speaker 1: of work and this is not a shame and this
Speaker 1: is not a criticism, and this is not anything. Whatever
Speaker 1: she's done, it's been great. She looks fresh, she looks good,
Speaker 1: she's like looks happy, she's aging beautifully, and she looks
Speaker 1: better than she's ever looked. I saw Palm Royal. It
Speaker 1: was good, not great. I don't care. I saw it
Speaker 1: because of her. I'm team Wig and I just feel
Speaker 1: like she's in her glow up era. I just I'm
Speaker 1: liking it. And I'm just all in about Christian make
Speaker 1: and she's brilliantly talented, hilarious Hall of Fame humor, like
Speaker 1: really just a different breed of comic. Because it's like
Speaker 1: giving Carol Benett, and I love Lucy like if I
Speaker 1: were a comic, I'd be that breed of comic, like
Speaker 1: you know, and I just, I think, just a whack
Speaker 1: job lunatic and just so leans in with her whole
Speaker 1: body to the characters. And so I'm fully teamed Kristen
Speaker 1: right now. I have been always, but like really liking
Speaker 1: where she is in her life right now