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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's bad to get all jaccuarated in today. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: keen cake, all that bread man, all of it. Let's

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Speaker 1: go all right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If

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Speaker 1: you need advice and relationships on dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more. Please please, please, baby, please submit your Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter to Steve Harvey f M and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one today. Can't tell

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Speaker 1: you a quick story? Sure money grow huh updating his

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Speaker 1: chicken Louisiana one time. I never really understood it behind

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Speaker 1: the business of Monty Grol. I just knew it was

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Speaker 1: a cool event, right. She had a keencake and kancake

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Speaker 1: got a baby in it or something. Yes, And we

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Speaker 1: just had the keencake in the house and I cut

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Speaker 1: into it. I cut to the little man. I threw

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Speaker 1: the man away. But she had a heart attack. She

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Speaker 1: had what are you supposed to do with it? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. You ain't supposed to throw the wonderful hey,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you so. Because she cut through the

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Speaker 1: whole thing. She said, I don't know what I do

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Speaker 1: that way. Two days she said you did what but

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Speaker 1: threw the man out? We broke up right after that. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you don't if you're not from New Orleans, Oh

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Speaker 1: you don't know she had a heart attack. Wow? All right,

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Speaker 1: let's go on, all right, buggle up cold on take

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Speaker 1: we got it for a year. Dare you triple for

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Speaker 1: the little man fulk We're doing the king stake kingcake

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Speaker 1: style right here, strawberry last, it's kntcake. It's can you

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Speaker 1: buying the kncake to today? Steve carl you need to

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Speaker 1: get him one today. Carla is all right subject he's

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Speaker 1: scared to sleep with me. Dear Stephen Shirley, I am

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Speaker 1: a married woman in my mid thirties and I want

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Speaker 1: to have children, but my husband does not. From the

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Speaker 1: time we got married till now, he says he does

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Speaker 1: not want kids because he just wants it to be

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Speaker 1: just the two of us, no one else. He said

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Speaker 1: that it's a financial responsibility we don't need. But I

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Speaker 1: think there's more two it than that. I think he's

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Speaker 1: just not fond of children at all. We've been married

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Speaker 1: for fifteen years, and when we were younger, we enjoyed

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Speaker 1: our care for years of being childless, but we're getting

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Speaker 1: older and it is time to move to the next

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Speaker 1: phase of our lives by starting a family. I will

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Speaker 1: admit that our marriage has been rocky the past five years,

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Speaker 1: mainly because of this topic and him withholding sex from me.

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Speaker 1: I took him to my last check up with my

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Speaker 1: gynecologist so he could be part of the conversation of

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Speaker 1: me getting pregnant at my age. We've also been to

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Speaker 1: a marriage and family therapist, but he still does not

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Speaker 1: want me to get pregnant now. The fact that he

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Speaker 1: is withholding sex from me is a whole other issue.

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Speaker 1: He told me that I might try to trap him

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Speaker 1: into having a baby, and most nights he will not

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Speaker 1: come to bed until I'm already asleep. This is a

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Speaker 1: major problem for me because I am in my sexual

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Speaker 1: prime and I'm used to having sex often, at least

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Speaker 1: a few times a week. I don't want to divorce

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Speaker 1: him because we have acquired a lot together and I

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Speaker 1: would like to think we could work through this. I

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Speaker 1: do want a child with my own, and I need

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Speaker 1: my husband to have sex with me regularly. Am I

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Speaker 1: asking for too much? Please help? Yes, yes, you are

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Speaker 1: asking for too much, because guess what your husband's not interested.

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Speaker 1: You have known this from the time you got married,

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Speaker 1: and you married him anyway, you knew this fifteen years ago. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you, like so many other women, thought, you know,

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Speaker 1: he would change his mind eventually, or that you could

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Speaker 1: change it for him. But this is really a mess,

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Speaker 1: and you guys have gone to family therapy about this

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Speaker 1: and that hasn't helped. So I need you to understand

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Speaker 1: that your husband does not want to have children. I

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Speaker 1: need you to understand that your husband's not fond of children.

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Speaker 1: You don't think he's fond of children. You said it

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Speaker 1: in your letter. Okay, So you need to open your

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Speaker 1: eyes get woke about the situation because it's he's not changing.

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Speaker 1: You're the only one that has changed in this situation,

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Speaker 1: not your husband. And you said it since the beginning, Okay,

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Speaker 1: since the time you've guys first got married. Yes, this

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Speaker 1: is a major problem for you because you guys do

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Speaker 1: not want the same things. You want children and you

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Speaker 1: want sex. Your husband does not want children with you,

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't want to have sex with you right

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Speaker 1: now because if he has sex, then you'll have children. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So you got to put that stuff together and get

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Speaker 1: out of this fantasy land that you're in. He doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to have kids and you do. This is a

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Speaker 1: major problem. This is, I dare to say, a deal

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Speaker 1: breaker for this marriage right here, Steve, Wow, Wow, this

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Speaker 1: is crazy. Yeah, this really is crazy. He's scared to

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Speaker 1: sleep with me. Okay, the tylers let us says it

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Speaker 1: what you need to know. But you're, like Shirley said,

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Speaker 1: you ain't listening. You need to wake up, y'all. Married,

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Speaker 1: you want to have children, your husband don't. From time

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Speaker 1: we got married to now, from the time you got married,

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Speaker 1: that means even before you got married till now. He

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Speaker 1: said he don't want kids because he just wants it

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Speaker 1: to be the two of us, no one else. He said,

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Speaker 1: it's a financial responsibility we don't need. And then you said,

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Speaker 1: but I think I think that's more to it than that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so guess what she says it is. I think he's

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Speaker 1: just not fond of children at all. That's what you think.

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Speaker 1: He said he don't want none. Now guess what the

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Speaker 1: conclusion you came to is more than that financial I

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Speaker 1: don't think he's fond of children all. You think he

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Speaker 1: ought to have something there? Right? Are you crazy? We've

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Speaker 1: been married fifteen years. When we was younger, we enjoyed

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Speaker 1: our care for years of being childless. But we're getting

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Speaker 1: older and it's time to move to the next phase

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Speaker 1: of our lives by starting the family. That you came

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Speaker 1: to this conclusion. This you you, this is your yo.

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Speaker 1: You think it's time to move the next level. He did.

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Speaker 1: He don't you saying from time you got married to

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Speaker 1: now he don't want kids. He don't see the reason.

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Speaker 1: Moving to a new letter, I will admit our marriage

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Speaker 1: has been rocking for the past five years, may because

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Speaker 1: of this topic and him with holding sex from me.

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Speaker 1: He don't want kids so bad he's gonna make sure

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Speaker 1: he don't kid when he having a sex. Right, I

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Speaker 1: tell you what. We ain't having no kids. I we

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Speaker 1: ain't having sex. I took him to my last checker

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Speaker 1: with my guy in the colleges so he could be

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Speaker 1: part of the conversation of me getting pregnant at my age,

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Speaker 1: me my age, my guying of colleges. He ain't asked

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Speaker 1: to go down there. Hang on, Steve, hang on, hang on, hello,

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Speaker 1: I just I would reading some more this letter, trying

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Speaker 1: to find another angle this ignorant mess. He's scared to

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Speaker 1: sleep with me. The man told you from the time

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Speaker 1: you met into now according to your letter, that you

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Speaker 1: that he don't want a baby. He just said it

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Speaker 1: at all, he said that day. Don't think y'all ought

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Speaker 1: to have a buddy. Maybe because of the financial responsibility,

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Speaker 1: the lady said, I think is more than that. I

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Speaker 1: think he's just not fond of children at all. Ted,

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Speaker 1: what what? That ain't the magic trick. He didn't pull

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Speaker 1: off the curtain and here come a dove flying out

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Speaker 1: of a thimble. He told you he didn't want kids then,

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Speaker 1: nor now you've been together fifty man and y'all used

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Speaker 1: to enjoy your care fee lives of being childish. But

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Speaker 1: you're getting older and it's time to move to the

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Speaker 1: next phase of our lives by starting the family, so

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Speaker 1: you say, he said in the beginning he didn't want kids.

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Speaker 1: He still don't want kids. Now you're ready to go

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Speaker 1: to the next phase. But you can't do this by yourself.

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Speaker 1: I will admit that our marriage been rocking for the

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Speaker 1: past five years mainly because of this topic. In him

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Speaker 1: with the old and sex. He don't want to kid

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Speaker 1: so bad, he don't even want to do nothing to

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Speaker 1: make no kid. I took him to my last check

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Speaker 1: up with my Guyana colleges so he could be part

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Speaker 1: of the conversation of me getting pregnant at my age.

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Speaker 1: You're pushing, You're pushing, You're pushing. It ain't changed. Nothing,

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Speaker 1: not bad. When you got through talking to the Ghana college,

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Speaker 1: he's just sitting there. He went just to keep you happy.

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Speaker 1: We've also been the marriage and family therapist, but he

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Speaker 1: still don't want me to get pregnant. You'd have been

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Speaker 1: to the Gyana college, you'd have been to the therapist

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Speaker 1: and the marriaging family therapist. And he withholding sex, and

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Speaker 1: he'd been telling you that for over fifteen years now.

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Speaker 1: The fact that he's with holding sex for me is

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Speaker 1: a whole other issue. He told me I might try

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Speaker 1: to trap him into having a baby. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: believe that. Yeah. So most nights he waits wow and

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Speaker 1: will not come to bed and I'm gonna sleep. This

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Speaker 1: is a major problem for me because I am in

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Speaker 1: my sexual prime and I'm used to having sex often.

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Speaker 1: If he'd been not going to bed, when when is

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Speaker 1: you often having this? He really doesn't want children, no,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna mess her out to make him not

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Speaker 1: want you, But I think he's already starting. When a

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Speaker 1: man don't want to come to bed to spend time

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Speaker 1: with you, it's because he don't want you no more.

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Speaker 1: If a woman stopped coming to bed with you, it's

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Speaker 1: because she don't want you no more. He You've pushed

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Speaker 1: this man to the point so far with this child,

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Speaker 1: he don't want you no more. Now you in your

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Speaker 1: sexual prime, Well he probably is too, So let me

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Speaker 1: just say that he might. You might try to trap

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Speaker 1: him into having a baby, and he won't come to

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Speaker 1: bed until I'm already sleep. And then I'm used to

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Speaker 1: having sex often, at least a few times a week.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to divorce him because we have acquired

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Speaker 1: a lot together, everything but a baby, everything but a baby, house,

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Speaker 1: laying calls property credit. I don't want to divorce him,

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Speaker 1: and I would like to think we can work through this.

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Speaker 1: He not working through this. He don't want a baby,

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Speaker 1: he has always said this. I do want a child

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Speaker 1: on my own. I do want a child of my own,

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Speaker 1: and I need my husband to have sex with me regularly.

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Speaker 1: Am I asking too much? Way too much? You're asking

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Speaker 1: the man to make a baby. That he said he

191
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Speaker 1: never wanted. And now you're asking the man to have

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Speaker 1: sex with you, and he already know you ain't taking nothing,

193
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Speaker 1: so now he thinks you're gonna trapping me into having

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Speaker 1: a baby so he can stop having sex with you.

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Speaker 1: You you don't, You don't see this, Shelley was so

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Speaker 1: spot on what her answered. You don't see what's happening here?

197
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Speaker 1: What time do we come to the bedroom? All about

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Speaker 1: to be a clock? Chance? She know he's in there late? Yeah,

199
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Speaker 1: up early too, Yeah, gotta get up the military time time. Yep, dad,

200
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Speaker 1: gotta go, baby on my head, not to talk to you,

201
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Speaker 1: but honey, no, no, honey, hell wait but wait, no,

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Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta go. Wow. He getting up so early.

203
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Speaker 1: He's stopping somewhere, he's getting off work. He's stopping somewhere.

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Speaker 1: He's stopping someone on the way from one here. His

205
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Speaker 1: lunch breaks different from yours. You got this stuff? I

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Speaker 1: mean normally though, in a marriage, Steve, people start families.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not it's nothing wrong with what she wants.

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Speaker 1: It's just the fact that he doesn't want it. They

209
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,160
Speaker 1: don't want the same things. That's it's perfectly and I

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Speaker 1: can understand a woman wanted to chime. Absolutely, you ain't

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Speaker 1: got no problem with what you want. You just you

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Speaker 1: just ain't gonna happen with him. Nope, it's just not

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Speaker 1: gonna happen with him. And if it does, it could

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Speaker 1: be ugly. Yeah, it could be ugly. He could turn

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Speaker 1: out to be one of the worst fathers ever because

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Speaker 1: like like, it's like you said, not only does he

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Speaker 1: not want children, he doesn't like children, he don't even

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Speaker 1: like kids. So why would you want to shut up

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Speaker 1: all that? Damn hell you crying for now? Why would

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Speaker 1: you want to have children with someone who doesn't want kids?

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Speaker 1: Why anytimes we're gonna have to change this? Damn die

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Speaker 1: exactly Yeah, you're hungry again. We're in here talking. No,

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Speaker 1: he he may not need to be a fun no,

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Speaker 1: exactly right. I met women that don't want kids. You

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Speaker 1: gotta respect that. Yeah, and this man that don't want kids.

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Speaker 1: Can I tell you somebody ain't playing on None of

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Speaker 1: my kids, not now one. Every last one of them

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Speaker 1: was a surprise. Rise we're gonna have. But but I

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Speaker 1: always want it. I wanted kids, man, I just thought

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Speaker 1: that would be the coolest thing. That's a natural progression

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Speaker 1: when it is a time grow up and yeah, but

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Speaker 1: not for everyone, right, yeah, and certainly not for him,

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Speaker 1: because he told her, all right, all right, we gotta

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Speaker 1: get out of here. Email us her Instagram. That's your

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Speaker 1: thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM. You're

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Speaker 1: listening show