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Speaker 1: I wish we lived in a world where young girls

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Speaker 1: didn't have to deal with an abusive father. Welcome back

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. We're back on a normal Monday schedule.

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Speaker 1: I know that we had some as we switched platforms.

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Speaker 1: We had a couple of weeks where we took off

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Speaker 1: because of Christmas Day and New Year's Day. And I

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Speaker 1: don't want that to be an indication that every once

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Speaker 1: in a while you're just not going to hear from me. Instead,

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Speaker 1: I could promise you that we're going to be consistent

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Speaker 1: about putting these out. And we also had a little

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Speaker 1: technical difficulty with the Apple podcast app on the on

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Speaker 1: the last episode, so that supposedly is fixed now. Through

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Speaker 1: iHeart and a bunch of stuff that's way over my head.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back. We've got one of my favorite guests, Marshall,

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Speaker 1: who's also my pastor at a Mais Church and Georgetown, Texas.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back. I love your wisdom. Thanks, it's good to

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Speaker 1: be back. You are you are. You're so good at

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Speaker 1: answering questions that I have in my life and it

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Speaker 1: and just like I figured it would translate well to

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Speaker 1: their questions. You just think through things very well. Oh,

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Speaker 1: by God's grace man. The only thing I need you

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Speaker 1: to do is mood that mighty ya. Okay. What we

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Speaker 1: do is we answer your questions. If you're new here,

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Speaker 1: you email podcast at grangersmith dot com, ask any question

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Speaker 1: and we'll walk through it. We're not always right, but

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Speaker 1: we'll give you our best answer, as if we're just

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Speaker 1: having a conversation at lunch with friends. First question comes

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Speaker 1: from Aaron. He says this, I'm Aaron from Kansas. I'm

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Speaker 1: wanting to buy a drone. I don't have any experience

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Speaker 1: with drones, but I'm a big hunting and fisherman guy

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Speaker 1: and I would love to get your opinion on a

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Speaker 1: budget starter drone for a filming setup. Thanks for all

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Speaker 1: you do, brother, Okay, Aaron, that's a good way to

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Speaker 1: ease into the podcast. I have used a Mavic Mini.

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Speaker 1: That's the only drone I've ever had, and then I

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Speaker 1: got a Mavic Mini too pro and highly recommend the Mavicks.

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Speaker 1: You can get in to to you know, three or

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Speaker 1: four hundred bucks I think was the Mavic Mini, and

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Speaker 1: I think the Pro is more like six hundred. But man,

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Speaker 1: they last until you hit a tree or actually I've

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Speaker 1: hit a couple of trees and they still laugh, or

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Speaker 1: until you throw it into a lake, like I've done

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Speaker 1: a couple of times. But they're they're really good drones,

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Speaker 1: good quality, and even a guy like me could figure

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Speaker 1: it out. So Mavic Mini pro too. That's that's my thought.

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Speaker 1: Next question comes from anonymous that grander big fan of

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Speaker 1: your podcast, loved listening to your book. I've been married

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Speaker 1: for over ten years now, have three little boys, and

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Speaker 1: my husband told me about a month ago that he's

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Speaker 1: addicted to watching porn. See it doesn't take long to

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Speaker 1: go from drones to porn in this podcast, since he

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Speaker 1: was a teenager that's in parentheses. I really hoped that

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Speaker 1: he would take action to overcome the addiction, but I

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Speaker 1: have seen no evidence of it. I'm constantly worried about

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Speaker 1: what he is doing. I don't trust him. I want

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Speaker 1: our boys to grow up in a christ centered home,

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Speaker 1: but my husband doesn't put God first. That's a plot twist.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't think going to church, praying, or reading the

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Speaker 1: Bible is important. I'm trying to be the best example

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Speaker 1: I can for him and my children. My question is

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Speaker 1: what do I do in my situation? Let me recap

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Speaker 1: husband Okay, I got it. Okay, So this is all

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Speaker 1: about the husband, married ten years, three little boys. Husband

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Speaker 1: is addicted to watching porn, and he told you about

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Speaker 1: a month ago. You are I could tell you were

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Speaker 1: upset about it, and you wanted him to take action

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Speaker 1: to overcome this. And now a month has gone by

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Speaker 1: and you're like, hey, I don't see anything. I don't

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Speaker 1: see any change, And now you're worried that this could

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Speaker 1: get worse. And that's a good worry, it's a legitimate concern.

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Speaker 1: But now you're saying something at the end of this

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Speaker 1: that makes it worse for everyone, and that you say,

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Speaker 1: I don't trust him. So this is more than just

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Speaker 1: he admitted he's watching porn and he's addicted to it.

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Speaker 1: And this is more than you don't see immediate steps

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Speaker 1: in it getting better. This is now you don't trust him,

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Speaker 1: which is a much bigger issue than all of this.

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Speaker 1: And then you go on to say that you want

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Speaker 1: him to be a good dad and christ in her home.

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Speaker 1: I get it. So you got a good You got

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Speaker 1: a good guest here today anonymous to have Marshall here,

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Speaker 1: let's start with her. Let's not even talking about because

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Speaker 1: this the message really not is. It's not about him anyway.

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Speaker 1: There's not a message to him from us. This is

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Speaker 1: a message to her. Yeah. So we see poorn questions

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Speaker 1: a lot on this podcast, but a lot of times

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Speaker 1: it's from the man. This is just from the woman.

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Speaker 1: So how does she handle this with what the information

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Speaker 1: that we know? Now? What does she do? What does

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Speaker 1: she not do in this situation?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean my first answer is pray for your husband.

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Speaker 2: Pray for him regularly, just that the Lord would work

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Speaker 2: in his heart, that he would he would kill this

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Speaker 2: desire in your husband's heart to view these things and

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Speaker 2: and and be clinging so tightly to them because he's

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Speaker 2: going to need the Lord to change his heart. He

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Speaker 2: can't change his He's not gonna be able to change

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Speaker 2: himself on it. And even if he does, he'll you know,

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Speaker 2: it's not about behavior modification because they're there, you're just

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Speaker 2: gonna find a different thing. So if you're trying to

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Speaker 2: get him to trust the Lord more, if you're if

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Speaker 2: you're praying for that, because you said you want to

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Speaker 2: be a godly husband, godly father, that's what you should

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Speaker 2: be praying for him. And I don't doubt that you're

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Speaker 2: you're already doing that. So in some sense, I'm encouraging

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Speaker 2: you in that, continue to pray for your husband and

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Speaker 2: then be thankful for the graces that have already shown

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Speaker 2: up in that he's told you about this. He's not

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Speaker 2: he's not trying to hide it. That doesn't make what

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Speaker 2: he's doing right and doesn't make it okay, and it

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Speaker 2: doesn't give him an excuse to keep doing it. But

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Speaker 2: so many situations the husband's hiding it constantly and and

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Speaker 2: this question could have easily been caught him yeah, or

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Speaker 2: I know, and he doesn't know that I know, and

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Speaker 2: that makes it even more difficult. But the fact that

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Speaker 2: he was open with you and is wanted to talk

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Speaker 2: through it, I think it's a big step. And so

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Speaker 2: I think you just continue having that conversation with him,

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Speaker 2: You continue checking in on him, Hey are you viewing

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Speaker 2: this or why is it so difficult for you? And

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Speaker 2: then I'm assuming you're in church because of wanting them

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Speaker 2: to be a godly husband and a godly father, but

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Speaker 2: you're not seeing some of those evidences of the fruit

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Speaker 2: of the spirit or being worked out in his life

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Speaker 2: by a desire to read God's word, a desire to

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Speaker 2: be praying a desire to fight this this sin issue

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Speaker 2: in his life. And so I'm assuming you're in church

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Speaker 2: with that, and so with that, I would I would

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Speaker 2: take this to your pastors. I would, I would ask

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Speaker 2: your pastors to sit down with you, guys, and just

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Speaker 2: give you some counsel on how to care for one

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Speaker 2: another in the situation and how to to fight this

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Speaker 2: sin well, because until your husband wants to do that,

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Speaker 2: it's going to be again you can't change him. The

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Speaker 2: Lord's gonna be the only one who can change him.

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Speaker 2: And so continue to pray for that. Could you pray

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Speaker 2: for his heart, Pray that the Lord would change his

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Speaker 2: heart in that, and and bring involve your pastors in

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Speaker 2: on this. You shouldn't have to have to bear this

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Speaker 2: weight on your shoulders by yourself. This should be something

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Speaker 2: your your church family should come around you and help

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Speaker 2: you in that, specifically your pastors first, and then maybe

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Speaker 2: a couple of ladies in the church who you're close

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Speaker 2: to that would be some of my initial counsel. There's

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Speaker 2: a lot deeper I go into that if this was

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Speaker 2: one of our members coming to us and saying this,

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Speaker 2: but that that's where I go right now, especially if

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Speaker 2: he's hesitant to do some of these things like like

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Speaker 2: praying in the word and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I think that's great. And on top of that,

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Speaker 1: with everything Marshall said there there could be a tendency

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Speaker 1: for you to get angry and possessive and offended, and

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Speaker 1: you could You could go to your pastor, like Marshall's saying,

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Speaker 1: and you could you could go to your husband and go, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're meeting with their pastor. I told him about this,

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Speaker 1: and he wants to have lunch with you. So you

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Speaker 1: need to set this lunch up because it's been a

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Speaker 1: month and you still I haven't seen anything changing. And

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Speaker 1: guess what, I don't trust you. That's probably the worst

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Speaker 1: thing you could do in this situation. So following the

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Speaker 1: same guideline that Marshall's saying, just do it with grace.

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Speaker 1: You can come to him. And first of all, Anonymous,

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Speaker 1: just know this that in your immediate circle, your husband's

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Speaker 1: not the only one. This is widespread And just on

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Speaker 1: this podcast alone, hundreds of emails probably just about porn

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Speaker 1: that I don't even get a chance to get to

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Speaker 1: because then every single episode would just be about porn.

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Speaker 1: So this is widespread. Like Marshall said, Let's be encouraged

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Speaker 1: that he actually told you about it, because that takes

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Speaker 1: a lot of courage for him to do this. Let's

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Speaker 1: think just for a second how humiliated he felt, but

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Speaker 1: overcome by this guilt that he needed to tell you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how this happened. Maybe he just sat

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Speaker 1: you down. I mean, that's not a casual conversation. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I need to tell you I watch porn and I'm

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Speaker 1: addicted to it. So if you could find grace in that,

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Speaker 1: if you could say, I just want to let you know.

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Speaker 1: It must have taken a lot of courage for you

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Speaker 1: to tell me something about a sin that is so vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: that it is something that is so potentially deadly for

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Speaker 1: our relationship, and you brought it to me. I am

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Speaker 1: so encouraged by this. So instead of looking at the

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Speaker 1: month that's gone by you see no action, take a

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Speaker 1: second to make sure that you're approaching him in that way.

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Speaker 1: And when you do bring it up, and you should,

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't just let it lie. But when you do

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Speaker 1: bring it up, say hey, I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: you know, the you know the thing the conversation. Is

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Speaker 1: there anything I could be doing as a wife because

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Speaker 1: I love you, and I care about this relationship and

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Speaker 1: I care about our three boys. Is there anything any

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Speaker 1: way that I could help encourage you? Maybe? I know

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Speaker 1: this sounds awkward, but is there a way that I

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Speaker 1: could keep you accountable? Because because I know of this

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Speaker 1: website that I heard on Granger's podcast called covenantiyes dot com.

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Speaker 1: And you know you can, honey, you can go to

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Speaker 1: covenantiyes dot com and enter your IP address on your

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Speaker 1: phone and computer and then send send that to me

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Speaker 1: and it notifies me. And so that makes you makes

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Speaker 1: you think twice about going to that website because you

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Speaker 1: know it's gonna send me a message. Is that something

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Speaker 1: I could help you with? But if you could be

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Speaker 1: an encourager instead of a nagger, because I think and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't blame you if you nagged him, and I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't blame if you were upset with this. I don't

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Speaker 1: even blame you that you don't trust him, But I

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Speaker 1: just want to encourage you to fight against that urge

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Speaker 1: to say, oh, please, don't ever tell him I don't

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Speaker 1: trust you because of this, because that's going to make

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Speaker 1: him become more of a recluse, hide it more he's

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Speaker 1: going to hide his struggle more because I don't want

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Speaker 1: to tell her. She's just going to get more angry,

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Speaker 1: more angry than she already is. And then the last

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Speaker 1: thing he's going to going to want to do is

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Speaker 1: meet with the pastor that you set up. All that

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Speaker 1: just depends on how you present this to him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would treat it like you treat would treat

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Speaker 2: any other sin issue that maybe when your friends would

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Speaker 2: come to you with right, you want to walk alongside

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Speaker 2: the minute. You don't want to just say, hey, let

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Speaker 2: me know how you're doing a couple of a month

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Speaker 2: from now. And so if you replaced his addiction to

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Speaker 2: porn to an addiction with alcohol, alcohol, you want to

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Speaker 2: help that person walk through it. What can I do

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Speaker 2: to help you out? Let's get all the alcohol of

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Speaker 2: the house. Let's let's make sure we're not putting ourselves

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Speaker 2: in situations where there's going to be alcohol present. Let's

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Speaker 2: let you know I'll check in on you every day,

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Speaker 2: you know. And so if you if you think of

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Speaker 2: it as okay, this is if you take out the

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Speaker 2: porn issue and just think it's a sin issue, and

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Speaker 2: I want to walk alongside him and helping him fight

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Speaker 2: this sin issue because you know we're we're one where

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Speaker 2: we're one in we're one in Christ. If we're both believers,

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Speaker 2: we're married, and so the Lord has put us together.

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Speaker 2: And so I want to walk him through this and

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Speaker 2: walk with him through it, not not not try to

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Speaker 2: drag him out of it, but I want to. I

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Speaker 2: want to try to try to take each step with him.

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Speaker 2: And because you would do that with any sin issue.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if Granger came to me said I'm struggling

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Speaker 2: with the sin issue, I want to walk him through it,

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Speaker 2: walk with him through it, not not giving one or

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Speaker 2: two steps and say I'll check in on you in

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Speaker 2: a month, let me know how you're doing. But just

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Speaker 2: how can I how can I care for you as

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Speaker 2: we walk through this together, because you're not alone in this.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sitting over here waiting for you to get

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Speaker 2: better and then and then we'll deal with things together.

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Speaker 1: But I want to.

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Speaker 2: I want to be there with you in it.

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Speaker 1: So that's good and an anonymous you also are not alone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're dealing with this with him, and it might seem

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Speaker 1: like the walls are closing in on you, but there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of families right down your street, probably that

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Speaker 1: this is going on and the wife doesn't know about it.

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Speaker 1: So which which position? And would you rather be in

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Speaker 1: yours or the wife down the street that doesn't know

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Speaker 1: about it? Something I think about podcast is brought to

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Speaker 1: you all by Better Help. Have you heard that phrase

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Speaker 1: new Year, new you. Well, we might want to be

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Speaker 1: thinking the opposite of that, because as we get around

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Speaker 1: this New Year's and we get obsessed with how to

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Speaker 1: change ourselves and make ourselves better. Instead, we might want

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Speaker 1: to focus on expanding what we're already doing. Right, Maybe

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Speaker 1: you finally organized one part of your space and you

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Speaker 1: just want to go tackle another part. Or maybe you're

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Speaker 1: taking your supplements every morning, you're trying to eat healthy,

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Speaker 1: and now you want to establish some kind of exercise routine. Well,

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Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say is therapy helps you find

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Speaker 1: your strength, so you could ditch the extreme resolutions and

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Speaker 1: make changes that actually stick. Now Amber and I have

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Speaker 1: gone through therapy after we lost riv It was like

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Speaker 1: a critical time for us to be able to go

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Speaker 1: in and talk to a professional about what we've been

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Speaker 1: going through. Maybe this is you. Maybe you're thinking now

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to talk to someone too, I'm ready to

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Speaker 1: talk to a professional about this, but I don't really

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Speaker 1: want to go lay on the green couch. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do that thing. Well, maybe you can give

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Speaker 1: better Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible,

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Speaker 1: and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief

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Speaker 1: questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and then

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Speaker 1: you could switch therapist at any time for no additional charge.

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Speaker 1: Celebrate the progress you've already made. Visit better Help dot

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Speaker 1: com slash granger today to get ten percent off your

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Speaker 1: first month. That's better Help h e lp dot com

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Speaker 1: slash granger. Hey, if you want to get a hold

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Speaker 1: of me, you want to reach out to me, then

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Speaker 1: how about Cameo. You ever thought about cameo cameo dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's c ame eo dot com. Search for me Granger Smith.

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Speaker 1: You could also download the Cameo app on your phone

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Speaker 1: and then search for me Granger Smith. I could make

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Speaker 1: you a personalized video message. It's super, super easy to use.

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Speaker 1: I do this all the time. I do this daily.

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Speaker 1: I go, I check my Cameo account, there's a there's

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Speaker 1: some request waiting for me, and I'll say, hey, what's up, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday. Your wife Kim sent me to you. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for being a fan, and we'll talk

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Speaker 1: for a little bit. According to what Kim wants me

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Speaker 1: to say. She keeps that in the notes. It's an

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Speaker 1: easy gift. It's an easy bit of encouragement for someone

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Speaker 1: that maybe has everything, or you need to get them

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Speaker 1: something you can't think of what it is. Consider going

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Speaker 1: to Cameo dot com and searching for me Grangersmith. And

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Speaker 1: then lastly, this Friday, January the nineteenth is the new

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Speaker 1: yeee Apparel winter launch. We've been working hard on this.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited for you all to see what we have

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Speaker 1: in store. Go to yee ye dot com. All right,

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Speaker 1: next question says once again from anonymous, and it says, Hey, Granger.

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Speaker 1: Eleven years ago, I finally had enough with the toxic

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Speaker 1: relationships I was pursuing. I pulled out my journal and

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Speaker 1: wrote a letter to God that I am ready to

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Speaker 1: do what it takes and become who it takes to

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Speaker 1: find my life partner. The following year was a wild ride.

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Speaker 1: I was given multiple opportunities to say no to old,

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Speaker 1: familiar relationships. After going through multiple tests, I met my

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Speaker 1: life partner, and we recently celebrated our ten year anniversary.

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Speaker 1: Our love is so kind, so generous, so safe, so nurturing,

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Speaker 1: so respectful. It is everything I never got to see

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Speaker 1: growing up. The kicker is we're both women. Recently, I

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Speaker 1: have begun deepening my relationship with God, reading the Bible

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Speaker 1: every day, praying every day, and even going to church. Writing.

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Speaker 1: This is truly astonishing, as I never ever thought I

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Speaker 1: would be going to church or reading a Bible due

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Speaker 1: to extreme family trauma surrounding religion. But I have been

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Speaker 1: feeling called to Jesus. The one megafriction point that has

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Speaker 1: me in tears of confusion is why would God send

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Speaker 1: me my life partner and then simultaneously say our love

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Speaker 1: is a sin. I do agree that many queer people

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Speaker 1: are immoral in their sexuality, as are many hetero people.

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Speaker 1: That is simply not who we are. It's tough because

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Speaker 1: I want to be part of the Christian community, but

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Speaker 1: am outwardly told how wrong I am. I would love

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Speaker 1: to hear your opinion. All right, Anonymous, thank you for

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Speaker 1: trusting me with this. It's not often I get these questions. Well,

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Speaker 1: let me rephrase, it's not often that I answer them,

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Speaker 1: and I'm encouraged that you listen and trust me enough

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Speaker 1: to hear my opinion when it comes to something in

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Speaker 1: the Bible. It's interesting to think of it in terms

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Speaker 1: of I don't have an opinion when it comes to

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Speaker 1: the Bible, and that's a good thing, because my opinion

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Speaker 1: as I look back on my life, my opinion on

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Speaker 1: things like politics and social issues and paradigms in our culture,

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Speaker 1: it's changed as the world around me has changed, and

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Speaker 1: my reaction to it has changed. My opinion on music

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Speaker 1: and songs and movies has changed over the years. And

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Speaker 1: so when I say, thank goodness, I don't have an

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Speaker 1: opinion when it comes to Bible things. That's not a

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Speaker 1: negative thing. That's not saying thank goodness. I'm a robot

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Speaker 1: and I just followed this mindless thing. It's going, Thank goodness,

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Speaker 1: there is the truth that I could stand on, and

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Speaker 1: everything else just waves around like all my little opinions.

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Speaker 1: So when you say I would love to hear your opinion,

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Speaker 1: I will give you some of my opinion, but then

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Speaker 1: I'll also stand on what we know is the truth.

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Speaker 1: And I believe anonymous that you know that as well.

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Speaker 1: And I believe that's why you worded it the way

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Speaker 1: you did, and I believe that's why you're struggling with this.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm definitely gonna let Marshall get in on this,

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Speaker 1: and I want to kind of take some stabs around

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Speaker 1: with this too. What I see this is multi layered,

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Speaker 1: and I see the multi layers when especially when it

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Speaker 1: comes to these this family trauma surrounding religion that you're

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Speaker 1: that's what you're standing on, right, so that all these

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Speaker 1: mixed ideas and so you have to admit it's really

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Speaker 1: interesting that you have this trauma you call it surrounding religion,

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Speaker 1: and you never thought you would go to a church

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Speaker 1: or read a holy book, especially the Bible. But despite

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Speaker 1: all of that, you want to how strange is that

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Speaker 1: and how much of a testimony is that to the

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Speaker 1: truth of the Bible that it's drawing you despite every

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Speaker 1: every fleshly thing in your mind. You're being called against

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Speaker 1: all of these things, including the love of your life.

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Speaker 1: You're being called against it to read something that speaks

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Speaker 1: contrary to it, that doesn't make any sense. And if

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Speaker 1: I'm an alien looking at this planet, if I'm an

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Speaker 1: atheist listening to the podcast. Right now, I go, that's

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Speaker 1: some mental health issue, because that doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 1: In fact, if I'm an atheist, and I've told atheists this,

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Speaker 1: if I'm an atheist looking at religion as a whole,

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Speaker 1: all the major religions in the world, I'm going it

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Speaker 1: has to be mental health problems because they're delusional. Because

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Speaker 1: the fact that babies are born all over the planet

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Speaker 1: every year and grow up to worship the sky and

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Speaker 1: raise their hands and say prayers, that is so strange

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Speaker 1: that we can't breed that out of this accidental race

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Speaker 1: that we are as humans. Right, That's one side of it.

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Speaker 1: That's one side of the coin here. The other interesting

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Speaker 1: thing is your struggle. You have to hear me on something.

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Speaker 1: Your struggle with sin is not different than mine. It's

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Speaker 1: a fundamental understanding of what sin is that is usually

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Speaker 1: the problem. And I'm going to say this with trying

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Speaker 1: my best not to offend you on a personal level,

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Speaker 1: because I truly love you and I truly care for you,

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Speaker 1: Otherwise I wouldn't care about this question. But here's the

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Speaker 1: fundamental problem, and I'm going to tell you why I

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Speaker 1: believe you're wrong in what you're thinking on a personal level.

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Speaker 1: Because you think sin is something God sees on you

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Speaker 1: as something either you've done to yourself or you've done

401
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: to society, or society has done to you, and God's

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00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: responsibility is to clean it up for you. That's actually

403
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Speaker 1: not what sin is. Your sin is actually a violation

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Speaker 1: to God himself. So if we see it that way,

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Speaker 1: Isaiah fifty nine says, your iniquities have made a separation

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Speaker 1: between you and your God. Your sins have hidden his

407
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 1: face from you so that he does not hear that

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Speaker 1: is that is a huge revelation for us in a

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Speaker 1: world where we think sin is a mistake that we

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Speaker 1: have done against society or ourselves, if we miss the

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Speaker 1: point that our sins or in that case in that translation,

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Speaker 1: iniquities has caused a gap between us and our creator

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Speaker 1: so much so that his wrath is upon us. That

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Speaker 1: is a much different You've got to admit, Anonymous, that's

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Speaker 1: a much different idea than why why would God say

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Speaker 1: this is a sin when I'm obviously in love and

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Speaker 1: he wants me to be happy? You see. The difference

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Speaker 1: is when you realize a sin is a sin against God,

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Speaker 1: against the Creator, that puts a whole new spin on things,

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Speaker 1: and it is true. There is in a sense, it

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Speaker 1: is true that sin hurts us personally and not sinning

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Speaker 1: and following God's law makes us feel better and do bad.

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Speaker 1: There's a sense that that's absolutely true. But we can't

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Speaker 1: just say that. We have to also say it's causing

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Speaker 1: a separation between us and God and it. And the

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Speaker 1: reason also we have to say that is because if

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Speaker 1: we only rely on if we don't sin, we feel better.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't always work because sometimes sin makes you feel

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Speaker 1: really good, sometimes sinning more makes you feel really good,

430
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: and not sinning makes you feel really bad, and so

431
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: that doesn't always line up that way. So we have

432
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: to see it for what it is. Marshall, I'll shut

433
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: up what you got.

434
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: I mean, first of all, I'm encouraged to hear what

435
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 2: the Lord's doing in your life. Sounds like he's slowly

436
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: drawing you to himself. That's just that whole first part

437
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 2: of that email is so encouraged, Yes, just to hear

438
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 2: the things going on and the thing with the past

439
00:25:54,400 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: trauma with religion in your family history. I'm glad to

440
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 2: hear that that's not preventing you from listening to this

441
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 2: kind of drawing from the Lord to get into his word,

442
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: because you don't want somebody, you don't want past sins

443
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: from others to kind of define who you are and

444
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,479
Speaker 2: what you're doing, right, Like you're in your own story

445
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: that the Lord has written for you. And so this

446
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: trauma shouldn't define what you do when it comes to

447
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 2: wanting to know who God is. And so there isn't

448
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: this sense of separate it from religion. Right, So the

449
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 2: goal is not to be religious. The goals to have

450
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 2: this relationship with God. And so what's hindering you from

451
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: this relationship with God? And that's the question for anybody.

452
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 2: It's a question for me, it's a question for Granger's

453
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: question for anybody asking or thinking, you know, what's preventing

454
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 2: me to be right with God? And so, the couple

455
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: things that stood out in that email to me when

456
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 2: you started saying, I think the question was word It's

457
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 2: something like why would God send me the my life partner,

458
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 2: the love of my life? I can't remember I was worded.

459
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 2: But then also be saying this thing in his word

460
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: that seems contrary to that doesn't make.

461
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 1: Sense, simultaneously say our love is sip yeah, yeah, yeah.

462
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 1: So I think.

463
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 2: I think when we think of things like that, when

464
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 2: you take the step back and think, Okay, here are

465
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: two things that I'm saying are true, but they don't

466
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: appear that they can be true. So are one of

467
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 2: these wrong? Well, we can point to verses that says,

468
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: you know, what what you're feeling is or what what

469
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 2: y'all have is wrong in the relationship even though you

470
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: might be feeling might be a true feeling. You can

471
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 2: love somebody. But the thing is is we were created

472
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: to being be beings that love. That's how That's how

473
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: we were designed. The problem is that as sinners that

474
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: love gets distorted and we tend to love the wrong things.

475
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: I'm not in the same situation you are, but there

476
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 2: are things that I love that are wrong that I

477
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: need to that I need to constantly check my own

478
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: heart and say, am I loving the right things? Because

479
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 2: if I'm not loving the right things, I can't claim

480
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 2: that that's a gift from the Lord. James writes, every

481
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 2: good and perfect gift comes from the Father, and so

482
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 2: if it's not a good and perfect gift, then it

483
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 2: didn't come from the Lord. So if the Lord is

484
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 2: saying in his word, hey, this is this is a sin,

485
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 2: this is wrong. We can't also say, well, then he

486
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 2: must have sent it to me as well. So if

487
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 2: you're if you're reading in his word that the relationship

488
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 2: you're in is contrary to the teachings of Jesus, is

489
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 2: contrary to what God has designed. The other truth can't

490
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 2: be true, which you think to be true, can't be true.

491
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 2: It can't be that God sent you your life partner

492
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: to be your life partner. That doesn't mean you can't

493
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 2: love them. I love Granger as a brother in Christ.

494
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: I don't love him like my wife, but I love

495
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 2: Granger as a brother.

496
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 1: And so.

497
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 2: There's this this reorienting of our loves when we are

498
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: confronted with the truth of Scripture.

499
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: Is if I.

500
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 2: Truly love Jesus, am I going to obey what he says?

501
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: Am I going to submit to what he says?

502
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: I mean?

503
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: If anything, when we see the Christian life in Scripture,

504
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: it's not easy.

505
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: It's hard.

506
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: You're constantly having to lay down these things that you love.

507
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: Every what you're going through is something every person has

508
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: gone through who's ever become a Christian. They're just laying

509
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 2: down different things for you. It might have to be

510
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 2: this relationship. It might have to be these desires that

511
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: you have for other women, if that's the ongoing thing

512
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: moving forward. But these are just things we have to

513
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: lay down for someone else. It might be porn, it

514
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 2: might be alcohol, it might be exalting self. I mean,

515
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: grain use your own story right, exalting self on the

516
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: stage constantly and lays down countrymus didn't have to do that,

517
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: but he lays down this understanding that my love for

518
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 2: myself is getting in the way of my love for Jesus,

519
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: and so I need to lay these things down.

520
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: And so.

521
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 2: That's what Jesus is telling people when he says, you

522
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 2: need to be willing to to leave your father, your mother,

523
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 2: your brothers, your sisters. You got to you gotta be

524
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 2: willing to leave your whole family if that's what it's

525
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 2: going to take, if they're leading you away from me.

526
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: And so there's this constant is are the things that

527
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: I love, whether they're they're they're things or other people,

528
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 2: are they in line with what Jesus says? Or am

529
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 2: I loving the wrong things? And if I'm loving the

530
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: wrong things, and I can't claim that those are gifts

531
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 2: from the Lord. Those are things that are in my

532
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: way that are impeding me from actually obeying Jesus who

533
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 2: I claim to love now or who I'm trying to

534
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 2: love now, or I'm trying to follow now, And so again,

535
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: for you, it's this relationship, it's this other, this other

536
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: woman in your life. But again for other people, it's

537
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 2: so many other things, and it's just a constant question

538
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 2: am I loving the right things? Am I loving rightly?

539
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: Also? So I think it's probably worth hanging on this

540
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: question a little bit longer instead of just moving away,

541
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: because it's also important after everything we both said, it's

542
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: also important to know that everything we're saying would come

543
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: after belief in Jesus and his lordship over your life,

544
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: because otherwise we're just talking about moralism. Don't do something

545
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: because it's wrong. And the last email was about porn,

546
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: don't do this. It could be the same conversation about alcoholism.

547
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: It's like, don't do the don't do do, don't do it.

548
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: None of that matters. Then it's just every other religion

549
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: in the world giving you some kind of legalistic moralism,

550
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: So it must follow logically. It's ironic because because Marshall's

551
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: preaching one Corinthians fifteen this weekend, which is the gospel.

552
00:31:55,920 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because the desire to do everything Marshall

553
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: said to the desire to follow Jesus would come after

554
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:11,239
Speaker 1: the initial belief in him and the understanding of what

555
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: he did. So it's believing in him who he is,

556
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: and then knowing what he did, and what he did

557
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: was the whole bit I gave you about sin and

558
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: our misunderstanding of what sin is, and it's actually a

559
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: violation to God himself. It's separating us from God. Jesus

560
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: comes because no one can reconcile that gap. So he

561
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: comes to say, I'll do it. I'll reconcile the gap

562
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: between the sinner and God. God's wrath is in between.

563
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: I will take on God's wrath myself to close that

564
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: gap to bring us to God. That's what he comes

565
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: to do, to bring us to God. But it's not

566
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: everybody that he brings those that believe. And so you

567
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: believe in who he is, believe in what he did,

568
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: which is he died to kill sin, to defeat death.

569
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: You believe in him and what he did, and then

570
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: because of that you want to start a desire will

571
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: be cultivated within your new heart, to start living like

572
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 1: he did, to live closer to what he did, to

573
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: start obeying not perfectly, but you'll start hating the things

574
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: that he hates. You'll start disliking the things within you

575
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: that make you sin, or the sin itself. That's the difference.

576
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: It's you'll stop loving it and you'll start saying, this

577
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 1: just feels wrong. I can't live with it anymore. After

578
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: I love Jesus, after I've believed in Jesus, I just

579
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: can't get over this stuff anymore. Just I can't sleep

580
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: at night. I gotta do something about it. That's what

581
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: it's like to be a Christian. Yeah, that is the

582
00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: Christian life. But here's the thing, and you you also

583
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: need it after all that, you also need to know

584
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: that Jesus says if you come to him, then you

585
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 1: will after you've given up stuff and you denied yourself,

586
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 1: you will have peace and joy and rest after you've

587
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: given it up. So you're not going it's gonna hurt

588
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: bad to give this stuff up. It stings to give

589
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: up sin that we love. But when you do, you

590
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 1: promised that you'll find even though your life might be chaotic,

591
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: within the chaos, you'll be able to rest in the chaos.

592
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: I am very encouraged by this email, and I would

593
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: love a follow up. I would love like a six

594
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: month follow up. What's going on? Ant Man is producing

595
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: this podcast, he sorts these emails, and I would love

596
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: for him to be able to grab one from you

597
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: again to kind of pin this and just come back

598
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: and if you're in the exact same situation you are today, okay,

599
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it again. But I got a feeling

600
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: you're not going to be. Yeah, I got a feeling

601
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: something's something's working in here. And I also hope you,

602
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: I hope you you realize too that this is once again,

603
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be my opinion. I don't want

604
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: to go against what Jesus says. Yeah, last thing I

605
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: want to do is to that point, I want to

606
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: just ask you, Marshall, what about the person that goes

607
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: Jesus never said a word about homosexuality? How do you

608
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: nswer that he did?

609
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 2: And if we think of Scripture being all the word

610
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: of God, then there's multiple places where it talks about it, right,

611
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 2: and so I mean the clearest is is Roman's one.

612
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 2: That's that's the that's the easy go to.

613
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 1: But that was, Paul. That was that's the argument.

614
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: That was Paul.

615
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: I agree with you.

616
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: I'm just making it no not no, but I mean

617
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 2: if so, I don't want to give the the go

618
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 2: to answer for it. But if that's if that's the

619
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 2: person's argument, I would I would want to know how

620
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 2: you read all four Gospels and read every word Jesus said.

621
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: The answer is always no, Right, then I would want

622
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 2: to talk to the person. If you've read all four

623
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: Gospels and you can even highlight all the speeches Jesus gave.

624
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,959
Speaker 2: If you've done that, then then let's sit down and talk.

625
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 2: I would say, go read the four Gospels. I don't

626
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 2: want to just give you a verse and tell you that.

627
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 2: I want you to see it for yourself.

628
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 1: That's the best answer I've heard of that question. I

629
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, all right. The next question comes from Jessica.

630
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: It's nice to have a non anonymous person. Thanks Jessica

631
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: for giving us your name, says hi, mister Smith. My

632
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: name is Jessica. I'm eighteen years old. I'm at a

633
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: breaking point with my father. He verbally abuses me and

634
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 1: flies off the hinge at the littlest things. He calls

635
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 1: me the B word and says I'm an effing lazy

636
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: daughter and other horrible things. He goes to church but

637
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: doesn't follow Jesus. I've been praying that he come to

638
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: know the Lord, and I don't know what else to do.

639
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: You can't talk to him or my mom about it

640
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: because they will say that I'm being disrespectful and that

641
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: I'm in the wrong. I'm at the point that I

642
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: don't want a relationship with him, but I don't know

643
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 1: if that's the wrong mindset to have. We have tried

644
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: counseling through our church, but he always makes sure that

645
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 1: he has the right answers so that it's not conducive

646
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: to anything. So it was not conducive to anything. On

647
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: top of the fact that my mom told me, he

648
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: does not say anything so that it doesn't make him

649
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: look bad. I get it. I've become angry towards my dad,

650
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: but I don't know what God calls me to do.

651
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: How do you handle this? All? Right? Recap for my

652
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:56,919
Speaker 1: own brain here. Jessica eighteen, verbally abused and by an

653
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: angry father. They go to church. He's not a follower.

654
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: She recognizes that, and she wants to know. She says

655
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: I've become angry towards my dad, but I don't. But

656
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: I know that that's not what God calls me to do.

657
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: So you want to know how to handle it without

658
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: getting angry. It's a tough situation for an eighteen year old,

659
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: and I'm really sorry, Jessica, that you're in this. I

660
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 1: wish we lived in a world where young girls didn't

661
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: have to deal with an abusive father. That's just not

662
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: the case we do. I also, I also wish that

663
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 1: we lived in a world where we didn't have people

664
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: that went to church and then did this, but we do.

665
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: It kind of goes to the old I don't go

666
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: to church because they're hypocrites in there, and we say yes,

667
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: But at least we had minute that were hypocrites. Jessica,

668
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: you are right around in age where this conversation kind

669
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 1: of changes, because if you're twelve, thirteen, fourteen, the conversation

670
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: is probably different than when you're eighteen, nineteen twenty. As

671
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: far as you're probably if you haven't moved out already,

672
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: you're probably getting close to not living with dad, and

673
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: that's going to change the dynamic, regardless you're not under

674
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 1: his roof anymore, and it kind of changes the whole

675
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,919
Speaker 1: Where did mom say this disrespectful? Yeah, you can't talk

676
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 1: to him or mom about it because they say that

677
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: I'm being disrespectful and I'm in the wrong. A little

678
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: bit has to do with you living there, I think.

679
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,720
Speaker 1: I think that changes when you have your own job

680
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 1: and you have your own apartment and you're not up

681
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: in his business and he's not in yours all the time.

682
00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you live there, So that's something you're gonna

683
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: have to do with anyway. I personally feel like eighteen

684
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: in any culture is the right age around the right

685
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: age to get out. You think that.

686
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 2: I think it's a safe age to get out.

687
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:19,919
Speaker 1: It's a safe age to get out. You can't really

688
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: be young. I mean younger than that is tough, and

689
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: older than that starts to create problems under the roof

690
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: of the parents. Yeah, so it's yeah, it's good Marshall.

691
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: So safe age to get out. So that might be

692
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 1: part of this conversation. This might be just time to

693
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: get out. You guys are agnoying it. You're annoying your

694
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 1: dad and he's annoying you, and that's that's manifesting in anger.

695
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 1: Did she say is there an example of what he's doing,

696
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,919
Speaker 1: what she's doing or is it just little things? Didn't

697
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: really say, yeah, what she's doing, what he's doing? Would

698
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 1: you what she's doing to make him mad? It? Is

699
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 1: there an exact there's not an example in here. That's

700
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: definitely what we would ask, like, what's an example? If

701
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: we were with you having lunch or something, we'd say, well,

702
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 1: like what what are we talking about? Politics? Or or

703
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: the temperature in the on the on the thermometer in

704
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:22,320
Speaker 1: the house. You know you are You said, I've become

705
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: angry towards my dad, But I know that's not what God,

706
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: God calls me to do. That's the question. So we'll

707
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: just deal with that. There's a lot of unknowns. We'll

708
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:36,760
Speaker 1: deal with that. You cannot control what he says to you.

709
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: You cannot control that he flies off the hinge. You

710
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 1: cannot control that you go to church and and he

711
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: doesn't follow Christ. You cannot control that your mom defends him.

712
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,439
Speaker 1: You can control how you respond to him. And I'm

713
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 1: so sorry that that is a tough situation for an

714
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: eighteen year old girl to be in. But this is

715
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: this is this is the heel you take. This is

716
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: the battle you fight, Dad, I love you. I forgive

717
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: you because your dad. It doesn't make me agree with

718
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 1: you on this issue, it doesn't make me trust that

719
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 1: you're gonna be kind to me, But I love you

720
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: therefore I also just forgive you. And is there anything, Dad,

721
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: that I'm doing that is maybe making you uncomfortable? Making

722
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 1: life more difficult for you? Is there anything I could do?

723
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: Is there if I'm living here? Is there any other

724
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: chore I could do around the house? I want to

725
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: earn my keep. It won't be long before I go

726
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: to college or whatever are your plans? But Dad, how

727
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: could I serve you more? Things? There? Jessica, there's definitely

728
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 1: things going on outside of your relationship with him, for sure,

729
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: whether it's work, whether it's his marriage, there's there's a

730
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: lot of There's a lot going on that's more than

731
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: just you're annoying him and so he's flying off the handle.

732
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 1: So we forgive because we know, like you said in

733
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 1: this last sentence, we know that's what God calls you

734
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: to do, to love and forgive him. But even though

735
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: your heart doesn't agree with it, this is what you say,

736
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 1: and this is what you do, and you let your

737
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: heart catch up to it. After that, what do you

738
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: got for this? Yeah?

739
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, first, Jessica, I love that you say

740
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 2: you're praying for your dad. That's man, I feel like

741
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 2: it's been on repeat today, but it's you can't underestimate

742
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 2: the power of prayer, and so I would encourage you

743
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 2: to keep doing that. And the other thing, you know,

744
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: hate that we even have to say this, but if

745
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: it ever escalates past just verbal abuse, reach out to

746
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: the police, get out of there, get yourself safe. It

747
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: should you know, physical abuse is never okay, and so

748
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 2: get yourself out of there. If it ever escalates to

749
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: anything close to that, pray to God that never happens.

750
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 2: But as far as dealing with what you're going through

751
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 2: right now, I agree with it everything Granger has said.

752
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 2: It's I hate this for you that you have to

753
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 2: go through this. And so as you're thinking about how

754
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 2: to navigate your time left in the house with your parents,

755
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: specifically your dad, I think just remembering not to return

756
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: evil for evil, So you honor your dad in the

757
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 2: best way you can, even in the midst of his

758
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 2: sin towards you. Again, that doesn't mean put yourself in

759
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,879
Speaker 2: a dangerous spot, but you honor your father as much

760
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 2: as you can in the situation you've been placed. I

761
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 2: think it's similar to like Romans thirteen or Titus. I

762
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 2: can't remember, it's two or three off the top of

763
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: my head. Those two passages are talking about our relationship

764
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 2: to the government, and so it and in scripture's calling

765
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 2: us to submit to those who are an authority over us.

766
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: And specifically when Titus writes that the main guy in

767
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 2: charge is literally burning people alive and so, but he's

768
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 2: still saying submit to the submit to the governing authorities

769
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 2: over you. And so there's a sense of that's not

770
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 2: only a call when things are going well, that's a

771
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 2: call even when those who are in charge are sinning

772
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 2: against you. You still honor those that the Lord's put

773
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: it put over you to the best of your ability

774
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 2: and trust the Lord in it. And I think that

775
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 2: means through prayer as well. And so again I agree

776
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 2: with Granger. You're eighteen, you'll probably be out of the

777
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 2: house soon, and until then you just seek the best

778
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 2: ways you can to honor your dad while still remaining safe,

779
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 2: and then you continue to pray for him. And then

780
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 2: when you're out of the house, things are different. Council

781
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 2: is different at that point, and so if you're not

782
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 2: already thinking about those next steps for getting out of

783
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 2: the house eighteen nineteen twenty, I would start thinking through

784
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: those you know, I don't know if that's going off

785
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 2: to school for you, or finding your own place after

786
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: you get a job, whatever it might be, but start

787
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 2: thinking through those steps as well. You don't at eighteen.

788
00:45:55,440 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 2: You don't need to stay there. You have that freedom now,

789
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 2: and that's why I said eighteen is a safe age

790
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: to do that. I think at eighteen it's a safe

791
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 2: age because you have the abilities in different areas to

792
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: take care of yourself.

793
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: Now.

794
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 2: In an ideal world, you know, if you're in a

795
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: loving family and your dad is caring for you super well,

796
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,799
Speaker 2: like I wouldage, I would encourage you to stay there

797
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 2: and be shepherded by your dad. But in this situation,

798
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: because of what you're having to experience, I think eighteen

799
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 2: is a safe age to start figuring out how to

800
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: get out, to continue to grow in the Lord yourself.

801
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,399
Speaker 2: Don't let it discourage you. And I think the last

802
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 2: thing I would tell you, at least in this moment,

803
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 2: would be because you're praying for your dad, because you're

804
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 2: trying to discern you think you can discern, he's probably

805
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: not following the Lord himself. I'm going to assume you're

806
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 2: a professing Christian, and so if that's true, what I

807
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 2: just want to encourage you with is, despite however your

808
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 2: earthly father treats you, you have a heavenly father who

809
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 2: will never treat you that way, and who loves you

810
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 2: immensely and has given his son for you and wants

811
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 2: the best for you, and will not leave you or

812
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 2: forsake you, and is with you at all times and

813
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 2: will strengthen you and just hold you and walks with you.

814
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,279
Speaker 2: And so every time your dad yelling at you, you

815
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 2: know you have a heavenly father who's comforting you in

816
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 2: the moment and who's with you and has not left

817
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: you in that situation alone. And so I just want

818
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 2: to encourage you with, Yes, our earthly friends and family

819
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 2: members will hurt us deeply, sometimes, we have a heavenly

820
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 2: father who will never do that. And I just want

821
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 2: you to be encouraged by that today and not be

822
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: so discouraged and beaten down by what your dad tells you.

823
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 2: But remember, you have a heavenly father who loves you

824
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: deeper than you could ever imagine, and in a much

825
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,959
Speaker 2: better way than your dad ever possibly could your earthly dad.

826
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 2: So I just wanted to leave you with that encouragement.

827
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 2: So it's not just on a hey, tough at you know, and.

828
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: That's why you're a pastor. Marshall. Uh. Yeah, that's fantastic,

829
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: And that's so good to wrap up that question, Jessica.

830
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 1: If we're just having lunch right now and you're and

831
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: you're like, we're getting the check and we're saying, hey,

832
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,879
Speaker 1: thanks so much. I hope, I hope this gets worked out,

833
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 1: and you say, well, guys like, how do we like,

834
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: what do I practically do today? And I think, just

835
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: to wrap up this conversation, I say I would go home.

836
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,800
Speaker 1: First of all, you're praying, you're you're on your knees

837
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: about dad, and then you go home and you go

838
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 1: mom and Dad. I just want to let y'all know,

839
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna I'm gonna start looking for a place.

840
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: Whether that it's going to depend on finances, but that

841
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 1: could mean you're gonna rent a couch from a friend.

842
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,319
Speaker 1: And if you don't have a job already, hopefully you do.

843
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 1: You're gonna be thinking about that and and thinking about

844
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 1: making that that leap into independence and break that to them.

845
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: Tell them that because then the reason I say it

846
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 1: is because as I'm looking at your email in the

847
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: first thing you said was I'm at a breaking point

848
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: with my father. We don't want to find out where

849
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: that is or what that is. You're admitting that there

850
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 1: is a breaking point and you're close to it. Why

851
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: test this, Why try to get there? So let's pray

852
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 1: for him, let's forgive him, let's love him, let's serve him,

853
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: and let's try to get out of the house before

854
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: it gets to a place where you're forced out. Let's

855
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: choose to get out. We're on good terms before you

856
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: have to. Yeah, we are. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna

857
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 1: go to one more question before we go over time here,

858
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: So this is my last one is from Max. I

859
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: want to do a little side note here. I don't

860
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: know what what I'm getting into with all these questions.

861
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: I literally scroll and here it is. So it's not

862
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 1: like I'm planning. Max is the you know, Max is

863
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,879
Speaker 1: the climax of this podcast. Just yeah, that's kind of cool.

864
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: Hey Granger, my name is Max. I'm thirty years old,

865
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: current living in Calgary, Canada. Your weekly podcast episodes make

866
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: my Mondays much better. Thank you for this blessing. Appreciate you, Max.

867
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: How do I make sure I'm not over spiritualizing each

868
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: and every aspect of my life. I'm very aware of

869
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 1: God and work on a daily basis, but lately I

870
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:22,360
Speaker 1: feel as though I'm trying to explain or justify every

871
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: last detail of my life in the entire world around

872
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:29,879
Speaker 1: me from a biblical perspective or principle. I question if

873
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: this is a healthy approach. As someone who came to

874
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: faith in the last five years, I am struggling to

875
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 1: keep things in the proper context and discern what is

876
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: spiritually driven and what is not. May peace be with

877
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: you so great question, Max, And I don't think it's

878
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: necessary to take a lot of time on this at

879
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: the end, But over spiritualizing is the thing? Yeah, Like

880
00:50:55,719 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: that's something we see see with Americans a lot. It's

881
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: like over spiritualizing every little thing, and like every decision

882
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,240
Speaker 1: it's like should we eat it Chili's or olive garden?

883
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: Oh Lord, which one should it be. Let's look up

884
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: the politics on these two organizations and see if anyone

885
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 1: is in sin and the corporate levels, and maybe it's

886
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: got to be olive garden like it. People do that.

887
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:25,959
Speaker 1: I see them do it, and you're right, I agree.

888
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:31,240
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a healthy approach. So instead Marshall

889
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 1: will run circles around this. But if we're if we're

890
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: learning who God is as He's revealed himself in his

891
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: Word and max, if you have a a daily time

892
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:51,359
Speaker 1: outside of church, outside of your men's group or your

893
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: small group, or your Bible study, or a random podcast

894
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 1: episode or a sermon you hear on YouTube, outside of

895
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 1: all that you have set aside, a time with you

896
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,840
Speaker 1: and God in his Word as he's revealed himself, That's

897
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: how we learn who he is continually. It's like when

898
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: I was a kid, we used to my grandparents have

899
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 1: these puzzles, and you start filling in the puzzles, and

900
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 1: the more we're in his word, the more that big

901
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: puzzle starts to come together and we see the image

902
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: of Him in it. And the more you see him

903
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 1: and know him, then the more you trust him and

904
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 1: believe his promises are good, and the more you can

905
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: rest in His providential will, which means the span of

906
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: history that he has accomplished and the future that he's

907
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 1: already planned. The more you can trust in that and go, God,

908
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 1: I am trusting, I'm abiding, or I am living in

909
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: your word, I am believing you, I'm trusting my life

910
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: to you. I'm denying myself. When you're doing those things

911
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: and you have a good church life and your prayer

912
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: life is never great, but you're working on it and

913
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 1: you desire to do it, then at that point you

914
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: can start trusting your desires. We're taught so much in

915
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 1: the Christian culture don't trust your heart. It's evil though,

916
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: and that's true, it's biblical. But to an extent, as

917
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,919
Speaker 1: we learn who God is, as we have submitted to him,

918
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: to his lordship, there is an extent we could start

919
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 1: trusting our own desires that He has planned them, that

920
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: he has planted them in us, and then you can go,

921
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 1: I'm really craving Italian. Don't only if I don't want

922
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 1: to go to Chili's, I want to go to Olive Garden,

923
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: and you don't have to over spiritualize it at that point.

924
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 2: The two ways I've heard so over spiritualized can mean

925
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 2: many different things, right, depending on who's talking about it.

926
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 2: The two most commons I hear the first one over

927
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 2: spiritualizing would be using faith in the wrong way. If

928
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 2: I have enough faith, I can I can get this thing,

929
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 2: I can manifest it whatever it is. If if that's

930
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 2: what's being talked about, that's just contrary to the Bible.

931
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 2: Don't believe that. That's false. That's not how faith works,

932
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 2: that's not what faith is. So if that's what I

933
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 2: don't think that's what's being talked about. But I wanted

934
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 2: I wanted to clarify that because that is how it

935
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 2: can be used sometimes. But the other way I hear

936
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 2: it is kind of what you're talking about of just

937
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 2: how do I know if I'm making the right decision?

938
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 2: Am I walking the right path?

939
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,399
Speaker 1: Nikes should whatever? Yeah? You know what?

940
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 2: What college should I go to? I'm looking for a

941
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 2: sign in the sky I'm looking at I was driving

942
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 2: down the highway and the billboard read something, and so

943
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 2: that that was my sign that I was supposed to

944
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 2: do something right, and so can the Lord do that stuff?

945
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: Sure?

946
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 2: But the the the point is you're right when you

947
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 2: say God is always at work, because that's what I mean.

948
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 2: He's in control of everything. That's his providence, He's he

949
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: cares about his creation, and he's constantly working over That's

950
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 2: an absolute truth. But that truth is not meant to

951
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 2: cause you anxiety. It's supposed to cause you comfort. And

952
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 2: so if we're constantly over spiritualizing everything, you're taking this

953
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 2: truth that God's in control and he's constantly at work,

954
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,280
Speaker 2: and you're using that truth to bring you anxiety wondering

955
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 2: am I actually doing? Am I falling the right way?

956
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 2: If God's really at work, That's not the question should

957
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 2: be asked. It's am I trusting what He's doing? And

958
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 2: so you know this could turn into a super long answer.

959
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 2: But one helpful thing that that I can recommend to

960
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 2: you is a really small book that was really helpful

961
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:42,760
Speaker 2: to me and thinking through this, and it's called Speaking Nike.

962
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 2: Just do something, not just do it, but just do

963
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:50,760
Speaker 2: something by Kevin de Young. Super helpful book and thinking

964
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,839
Speaker 2: through this of how to not over spiritualize stuff when

965
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 2: trying to figure out what's God's will for my life.

966
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 2: That's usually where a lot of people over spiritualized stuff,

967
00:55:58,600 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 2: is what's God's will form my life? How do I

968
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 2: know I'm doing what God wants me to do. That

969
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 2: book is so helpful, so I would just encourage anybody

970
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 2: to buy it.

971
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 1: It's super short, just takes a day or two. It's

972
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 1: like one hundred pages.

973
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 2: It's like maybe ten or twelve bucks on Amazon. So

974
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 2: super super helpful.

975
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: But it's not deeply theological. It's commonly written and easy

976
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 1: to read.

977
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

978
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: Cool, all right, dude, thank you so much for being

979
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: hunter Mane. It was great. You got to get you again.

980
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 1: I would be I would be really encouraged to have

981
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: someone show up at a Mais in Georgetown, Texas and say,

982
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 1: I heard you guys on the podcast. That's how I

983
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,719
Speaker 1: heard about this church, Marshall, and I really do not.

984
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: If you know me enough, you know I don't go

985
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 1: around promoting my church so that people will will come

986
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,719
Speaker 1: and fill up the chairs. I don't, which is why

987
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm actually having this conversation at the end of this podcast,

988
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: because if you made it all the way to the end,

989
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 1: that says something about you. You're interested enough to hang

990
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 1: all the way to the end. And I'd be encouraged

991
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 1: if someone heard this end of this podcast, in this

992
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 1: particular message from me saying I'm going to be there

993
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: every Sunday, Marshall's going to be there every Sunday. Marshall

994
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 1: is going to be preaching there almost.

995
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 2: Three fourth Sunday something like that, something like that.

996
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 1: But you're going to be there all at the other times,

997
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: So come up to us. It's not We're not a

998
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 1: church where it's so big you're never going to find us.

999
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: You'll literally walk in and there, We're going to be

1000
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 1: right there and say, hey, I heard you talking about

1001
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 1: this on the podcast and I was encouraged and that

1002
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:36,440
Speaker 1: would mean a lot to me. Love you guys, See

1003
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast.

1004
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me

1005
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

1006
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and

1007
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1008
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: a video. Yihi