Speaker 1: Do you know what this is right now? And what
Speaker 1: we're doing?
Speaker 2: We are interviewing each other.
Speaker 1: Do you know the name of this shows show? Is
Speaker 1: that the song Tash Shaw Tosh Shows Show Show. Welcome
Speaker 1: to Toash Show, the only podcast that is one hundred
Speaker 1: percent ad libbed. Can we do that again? Welcome to
Speaker 1: Toash Show, the only podcast that is one hundred percent
Speaker 1: ad libbed, all crowd work, every episode, zero preparation in
Speaker 1: the history of podcast This is the only improvised one.
Speaker 1: I can't believe we pull this off every week.
Speaker 3: All right, Eddie, you're here, Yeah, I'm here.
Speaker 1: Congratulations, thanks for what for what? You know? What? Today
Speaker 1: is right? Today is the season finale of Toss Show.
Speaker 1: This is our first option. iHeart picked us up for
Speaker 1: two options. They picked up our second option already. This
Speaker 1: is the final episode, the finale of option one. It
Speaker 1: doesn't really make sense because we started last year and
Speaker 1: I think it was November, and then you know, all
Speaker 1: all the way to August. Option one. The finale is
Speaker 1: a big day. Here, We've done it. Congratulations to everyone
Speaker 1: that made my dreams come true. Now will we are
Speaker 1: we taking time off before option two? No, we'll be
Speaker 1: back next week. Same time, same channel, knuckleheads, what are
Speaker 1: we doing this week?
Speaker 3: We're going to do a little feedback.
Speaker 1: The all feed What a way to wrap up the
Speaker 1: first option with feedback, because people, you know, they come
Speaker 1: at us like we've been doing this for a long time,
Speaker 1: and that's not that's not true at all. We've only
Speaker 1: been doing this podcast for one option. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: let me let's hear what the people have to say,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure it's it's constructive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, here we go. A lot of people are asking,
Speaker 3: when are you going to interview your wife?
Speaker 1: The old ball and chain? When will I interview the wife?
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how that's possible with her
Speaker 1: busy schedule of not doing shit. Now we are in talks.
Speaker 1: My people have reached out to her people, and I
Speaker 1: believe that we can reach a deal, hopefully by the
Speaker 1: end of this calendar year twenty twenty four. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's been there's been a few sticking points in the negotiation,
Speaker 1: a lot of back and forth, but we're close to
Speaker 1: a deal and I think people will be pleasantly surprised
Speaker 1: at the chemistry the two of us have together.
Speaker 3: What else, Dang, that frame is looking good.
Speaker 1: You know what, though, as great as our frame is,
Speaker 1: it's about what's inside the frame. You could make that
Speaker 1: frame four inches thicker and I put this smile in it,
Speaker 1: It's gonna pop. Okay, that's just keeping the main thing,
Speaker 1: the main thing, you know, that's from that's from this
Speaker 1: douchebag that's on the Bachelorette right now. He just keeps
Speaker 1: saying it. He keeps trying to make it a thing,
Speaker 1: and it's just embarrassing. But I actually am like, that's
Speaker 1: kind of funny.
Speaker 3: What's with comedians selling out to DraftKings.
Speaker 1: Well, first, I'd like to point out that all comedians
Speaker 1: are degenerates. I love gambling, and even though I don't
Speaker 1: need the money, the people that are working here, that
Speaker 1: are creating this show every week with me, they want
Speaker 1: to get paid. And I'm sure a shit not going
Speaker 1: out of pocket. So we're going to have advertisers, hopefully
Speaker 1: tons of them. I would prefer this show be thirty
Speaker 1: seconds on sixty seconds advertising the whole way through. That's
Speaker 1: my goal.
Speaker 3: How long has Tosh been dying his hair?
Speaker 1: Dying my hair? Never dyed my hair. That's not true either.
Speaker 1: I have dyed my hair. I don't dye my hair
Speaker 1: at all. I haven't dyed my hair in thirty years,
Speaker 1: but when I was young they eighteen to twenties, there
Speaker 1: was times where I would bleach it white, just look
Speaker 1: cool as shit, spike it out. Oh man, I miss
Speaker 1: those days.
Speaker 3: From our Cookie episode. It's a legitimate credit to Daniel
Speaker 3: that he found so many decent, kind people in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: I've lived here for nine years and maybe found two
Speaker 3: of them.
Speaker 1: Shut up. There's wonderful people everywhere. Everybody in Arkansas doesn't
Speaker 1: butt fuck their sister, but some do, and those are
Speaker 1: the ones we focus on when we make jokes. Oh,
Speaker 1: everybody in Los Angeles is horrible. Okay, if that's what
Speaker 1: you need to say to yourself, because you could never
Speaker 1: afford to live here and enjoy how much better this
Speaker 1: place is than every place else. Fine, there's no one
Speaker 1: here that's good, but it's just a reflection of you.
Speaker 1: There's tons of great people. Go out and meet them.
Speaker 3: This is from one of your Father in Law episodes,
Speaker 3: Physical Exam Yesterday PSA zero point four to seven. You
Speaker 3: made me check appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Hey, look at that.
Speaker 3: You saved a life.
Speaker 1: Well, we didn't save his life because his PSA was
Speaker 1: below one, which is all we were told you need
Speaker 1: to do, per my father in law, who is not
Speaker 1: a doctor, so that information could be completely bogused. I'd
Speaker 1: like to go on record is saying that. But it
Speaker 1: sounds like your PSA is great and you didn't need
Speaker 1: to get it checked.
Speaker 3: If you watched Tosh point zero, you would have never
Speaker 3: thought Daniel would be a great family man.
Speaker 1: It never would have known I'd be a great family man.
Speaker 1: By the way, I hosted a clip show about internet videos. Ah,
Speaker 1: it seems like a weird way to gauge if somebody
Speaker 1: would be good or bad as a father or a husband.
Speaker 1: But uh, all right, I'm glad you're pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 3: From your father in law's episode. A wealthy man saying
Speaker 3: the economy is booming here in Florida while we all
Speaker 3: suffer is wild.
Speaker 1: Joke's on you. You thought they're wealthy boy because he was
Speaker 1: a banker, because banks have money. Okay.
Speaker 3: Also about Greg, is this the guy that sits on pillows?
Speaker 2: He is?
Speaker 1: That's the guy that sits on my throw pillows.
Speaker 3: I'm an ice man, just like you.
Speaker 2: Greg.
Speaker 3: Never apologize for ice.
Speaker 1: You know what I did for him? This I got
Speaker 1: him an ice machine. It was a joke gift, but
Speaker 1: it was it was a nice one. It was like
Speaker 1: on Prime Day, look at that, a little little play.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I saw this ice maker. It was
Speaker 1: like the greatest ice maker. People loved it. Four hundred
Speaker 1: bucks or something like that. I'm like, oh, this will
Speaker 1: make him laugh. Put this on his on his counter
Speaker 1: down in the guest house.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure where else to post this, meaning which video,
Speaker 3: but please, if possible, have Mema on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Mema is dead. Okay, that wasn't clear. She was killed
Speaker 1: in a snowplow accident Jeremy Renners driveway as I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think that's true.
Speaker 3: From the Astronaut episode, Interstellar is an amazing movie. Come on, Gosh,
Speaker 3: raise your game.
Speaker 1: I know I'm not smart enough to get it, but
Speaker 1: if an Astronaut says the movie is stupid, I stand
Speaker 1: by it. Interstellar's garbage and I watched the whole thing,
Speaker 1: which means it wasn't all garbage until it became garbage,
Speaker 1: and that last part was enough garbage for me to
Speaker 1: be like, that whole movie is horrible.
Speaker 3: From the Tour episode showering with kids is weird, no
Speaker 3: way around it.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, showering with kids. I was showering with my kids.
Speaker 1: That's a huge difference. I'm not gonna take a bath
Speaker 1: with them. That's disgusting. They were sitting a bath with
Speaker 1: your kids. It's just like, oh, it's a ticking time
Speaker 1: bomb until you know what happens. When I was much younger,
Speaker 1: my first four million kids, I showered with them. They
Speaker 1: went right down the drain. You get what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: So i'mbout jerking off in the shower.
Speaker 3: It's actually ridiculous. How much I look forward to hearing
Speaker 3: your son's bedtime stories every week?
Speaker 1: Well, I hope you have rubber sheets, because you're about
Speaker 1: to go potty in your bed when you find out
Speaker 1: who today's guest is. Enjoy Pasha, My guest today is
Speaker 1: the creative mind behind our wildly popular and often confusing
Speaker 1: Toss Show bedtime Stories. Hopefully I only needs permission from
Speaker 1: one of his parents to be here today. Please welcome
Speaker 1: from a bedroom just across the hall from mine, my
Speaker 1: son Dan Junior dad name that's not his real name. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say your real name. I don't want
Speaker 1: people to yell it. By the way, we don't have
Speaker 1: to have him blurred like he's in witness Protectionark, you
Speaker 1: look like a chicken. I don't want that either. A rooster. No,
Speaker 1: there we go. That's perfect. You like a robot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just trying to obscure your identity. I just don't
Speaker 1: want people at you know, pervs at home just staring
Speaker 1: at your beautiful No, why.
Speaker 2: They stand at my beauty?
Speaker 1: All right? First question, and you're gonna talk loud into
Speaker 1: the microphone. Okay, okay, you don't just scream are you
Speaker 1: a boy or a girl?
Speaker 2: Boy? But everyone thinks I'm a girl When I'm like
Speaker 2: buy myself and someone says, I don't tell them like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm a boy and not a gul.
Speaker 1: Why do people say, look at that girl?
Speaker 2: Because I have one hair and I'm pretty.
Speaker 1: You are pretty and you do have long hair. Oh man,
Speaker 1: do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I respect that. Where were you born and a doctor
Speaker 1: in the doctor You're born in Los Angeles, you live
Speaker 1: in Malibu and Tahoe, Ah. You are destined to have
Speaker 1: some problems. Do you love California?
Speaker 2: I don't know what to say to that. I am
Speaker 2: probably yes.
Speaker 1: You do love California. Is it embarrassing that we often
Speaker 1: dress alike?
Speaker 2: I kind of like that.
Speaker 1: I think I like it too. Mom likes to put
Speaker 1: us in the same clothes all the time, doesn't she? Oh, so,
Speaker 1: do we ready for your next question?
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 1: Bacon or sausage?
Speaker 2: Bacon?
Speaker 1: Drums or piano?
Speaker 2: Piano?
Speaker 1: Mommy's or daddies? Who maybe daddy's favorite thing to do
Speaker 1: with your little sister?
Speaker 2: Dear properly, I don't think I know the answer to
Speaker 2: that question.
Speaker 1: When somebody says, oh, that's funny or you're funny, what
Speaker 1: do you say?
Speaker 2: Comedy is subjective?
Speaker 1: Comedy is subjective, and what does that mean?
Speaker 2: It means if soundings funny to you, it doesn't mean
Speaker 2: it's funny to the other person.
Speaker 1: Now, you are very funny. Who do you think you
Speaker 1: got your sense of humor from?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Who do you think it tried to make you funnier?
Speaker 1: Mommy or Daddy?
Speaker 2: You? Daddy?
Speaker 1: Who's the funniest person in the family?
Speaker 2: Or bully Susan? Susan, She's like, Oh, they was just crazy,
Speaker 2: but that's fun.
Speaker 1: Do you have any imaginary friends? I mean, shit, I
Speaker 1: can can you name all five of them?
Speaker 2: Bumba ye is one of them? Cheetah? Who Cheetah? No?
Speaker 1: Remember? Bingda bingda?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What about hamby gymby? What about me?
Speaker 2: How? Mehow?
Speaker 1: What it sounds like?
Speaker 2: Me? How?
Speaker 1: The greeting and Mandarin? But we we you changed it
Speaker 1: to me? How?
Speaker 2: I mean? I might get rid of them, get some
Speaker 2: new ones, cool ones like imaginary dragon?
Speaker 1: Interesting? Where did Bumba live?
Speaker 2: New York?
Speaker 1: New York? Oh man, it's so expensive. Tell everybody your
Speaker 1: favorite food?
Speaker 2: Oh dear, I bet I have a bunch of them.
Speaker 1: What are some foods that you like?
Speaker 2: Bacon? But you already heard that. I think I like kisada, cheese,
Speaker 2: burga maybe I like pretty much like a lot of
Speaker 2: she think mac and cheese, cheese boogie?
Speaker 1: You like sushi?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, you think I like skin?
Speaker 1: What do you like for breakfast?
Speaker 2: I could have anything. I don't know what I would
Speaker 2: have something good?
Speaker 1: What about breakfast burritos in Mexico? I had a what
Speaker 1: do you have in Mexico?
Speaker 2: boxIt burt is delicious?
Speaker 1: What's your bedtime?
Speaker 2: Don't think I know?
Speaker 1: Do you have a bedtime?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Except on what day?
Speaker 2: On Friday? Don't have a bedtime on the boss of
Speaker 2: bedtime on Friday.
Speaker 1: You're the boss of bedtime on Friday. But sometimes you
Speaker 1: forget to ask us what day of the week it is,
Speaker 1: and then you miss it and then how mad do
Speaker 1: you get?
Speaker 2: And I get so mad? Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: The problem is when you're the boss of bedtime, how
Speaker 1: late do you stay awake?
Speaker 2: Pretty great?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like pretty right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like you'd never get tired.
Speaker 2: I never want to go to bed.
Speaker 1: Who lets you watch more movies? Who gives you more
Speaker 1: screen time? Mommy or daddy?
Speaker 2: I'd say, I mean daddy, like, let me watch some movies.
Speaker 1: You mommy doesn't like you to watch?
Speaker 2: What scary movies?
Speaker 1: Do you like scary movies?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so. I mean I would like like
Speaker 2: a shop dragon things like at all scilly, like everything
Speaker 2: that's scilly, but not in real life, because it's like you,
Speaker 2: it's scammy, right of course.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been married?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes?
Speaker 1: Who did you get married to?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: And why did you want to get married to me?
Speaker 2: Because I just think I wanted to.
Speaker 1: We got married. We had a nice, little small wedding
Speaker 1: in our backyard, didn't I Yeah, that.
Speaker 2: Was pretty fun.
Speaker 1: It was fun.
Speaker 2: I love you more than any person that in the
Speaker 2: whole wide wall.
Speaker 1: Oh, where do you think you're gonna live when you
Speaker 1: get older?
Speaker 2: I think Moms wants me to stay here Malibu.
Speaker 1: I think that's right. Are you gonna stay with us?
Speaker 1: Just stay here? Are you gonna stay in her house forever?
Speaker 2: I don't know how they say any house, but I
Speaker 2: might stay in the city.
Speaker 1: What about the airstream? Could you just move into the airstream? Oh?
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: How come when you talk to me every day your life?
Speaker 1: You talk to me NonStop from six thirty in the
Speaker 1: morning until eight o'clock at night, and you start every
Speaker 1: single sentence with me with dad, Can I tell you something?
Speaker 2: A new like? Oh, I got Dad? I mean, like,
Speaker 2: what a weird being chased by some giant inder city?
Speaker 2: And you did, and you're like, and I have to
Speaker 2: say that, right?
Speaker 1: Okay, So what you're trying to say there is I said,
Speaker 1: stop saying Dad, Can I tell you something? Just start talking?
Speaker 1: Because like if somebody was chasing with you, would you
Speaker 1: be like, Dad, can I tell you something? And then
Speaker 1: you wait for me to say yes, and then you go,
Speaker 1: there's somebody chasing me? Or would you just say there's
Speaker 1: somebody chasing me? So can you stop saying dad? Can
Speaker 1: I tell you something? And just start telling me something dad?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: I mean like, do you want to do some jokes?
Speaker 1: Hmm, yeah, I want to do some jokes. I right,
Speaker 1: does your dad ever say bad words?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Do you ever say bad words?
Speaker 2: I mean I think I say bad words when you're
Speaker 2: not listening?
Speaker 1: What funny? And then we have this whole conversation. And
Speaker 1: I don't think they're actually called bad words. They're just
Speaker 1: like rude words are inappropriate or they're not nice. It
Speaker 1: depends on the contexts. It's a lot goes into it.
Speaker 1: But then there are actual bad words, but I don't
Speaker 1: even want to get into those. I don't even know
Speaker 1: when I'm supposed to start teaching you some things that
Speaker 1: people say, Oh that's tough. Now do you know what
Speaker 1: I do for a living?
Speaker 2: Be funny?
Speaker 1: I'm just funny.
Speaker 2: You're pretty funny.
Speaker 1: What do you want to do when you get older?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a great builder, right, you're a great builder.
Speaker 1: Do you want to be a builder?
Speaker 2: I mean maybe? Right?
Speaker 1: What do you like going to work with me?
Speaker 2: I mean, I think this is I don't care.
Speaker 1: What about tours? Do I like going on tours.
Speaker 2: You do or not? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, sure, you've already turned into a fifteen year old.
Speaker 1: That's so sad. Do you know what this is right
Speaker 1: now and what we're doing?
Speaker 2: We are interviewing each other.
Speaker 1: Do you know what a podcast is?
Speaker 2: What's the podcast?
Speaker 1: That's what we're doing. That's what this is. That's what
Speaker 1: this is. Do you know the name of this show,
Speaker 1: Toss Show? Is that the song do an impression of
Speaker 1: my fans?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Did you know that you were on the Toss Show
Speaker 1: that I was putting your bedtime stories that we that
Speaker 1: Eddie animates them, turns them into a little little.
Speaker 2: I know what Eddie animates them?
Speaker 1: Okay, do you like your stories being animated?
Speaker 2: I think so please. I think one time I head
Speaker 2: animation show on TV.
Speaker 1: I think you were three years old, and every night
Speaker 1: before bed you would tell me a story, and I
Speaker 1: always recorded you because I thought it was funny that
Speaker 1: your voice was so cute and I wanted to remember
Speaker 1: it forever, And now I put it on the show
Speaker 1: so that everybody can watch it and hear your stories.
Speaker 1: Do you understand your old stories when you listen to them?
Speaker 1: Do you know what you're saying when I ask you
Speaker 1: what word is this?
Speaker 2: I don't know if I always understand myself, I mean, listen,
Speaker 2: I'm just free as well. You don't always understand myself
Speaker 2: when I'm free years old.
Speaker 1: That makes sense.
Speaker 2: I would understand myself when I'm free he as old,
Speaker 2: but like when I grew up in and i'd listen
Speaker 2: to what I'm fleasy as well. They don't think I
Speaker 2: can understand?
Speaker 1: That makes sense. What is your process? Are your stories
Speaker 1: well thought out? Or do you just see things in
Speaker 1: the room and start talking?
Speaker 2: Just ask me another question. That's way better than that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll ask you another question's way better than that.
Speaker 1: Is it more fun to hear a bedtime story or
Speaker 1: tell a bedtime story?
Speaker 2: I think she at bedtime? Sorry?
Speaker 1: How many? But I also thinking geez, go ahead.
Speaker 2: I also think it would be fun to tell warm
Speaker 2: like people like, go yay, that's cool. You know.
Speaker 1: How many people do you think have heard the bedtime
Speaker 1: stories that you've told.
Speaker 2: Robberie A couple of people?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, maybe, so your storytelling hasn't stopped. You still
Speaker 1: tell stories, but I don't record you at night? Are
Speaker 1: you mad that I recorded you every night? Telling stories
Speaker 1: or no. So, okay, good, I think it's neat. I've
Speaker 1: always loved them. You know what's tough now is now
Speaker 1: that you read books that are like smaller print. Is
Speaker 1: I have to have all the lights on to read
Speaker 1: at night to you, and then you don't get sleepy.
Speaker 1: It's a problem.
Speaker 2: You will make my eyes too when you put on
Speaker 2: the lights, and then I get used to the lights.
Speaker 1: I know, and then when I turned down it's it
Speaker 1: gets too dark. Oh okay. Recently on a trip, you
Speaker 1: and one of your cousins there, Panda, you used an
Speaker 1: app on her phone and you made your first stop
Speaker 1: motion little film.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called sta Attack.
Speaker 1: It's called snail Attack.
Speaker 2: And do you know why? And say why is that?
Speaker 1: Why is that?
Speaker 2: Because then gets attacked?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so the title is just a complete description
Speaker 1: of the movie.
Speaker 2: I made up that one.
Speaker 1: I said, okay, so you made up this whole movie
Speaker 1: snail Attack, and then you did stop motion. Can we
Speaker 1: play it on the show?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Now, do you want to tell them when the credits
Speaker 1: roll that they need to keep watching?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they need to keep watching because they're a funny.
Speaker 2: Extra scene.
Speaker 1: There's an extra scene in the credits time ago.
Speaker 2: It was a village have village. There was some snaps.
Speaker 2: One of the snails really like treasure, and it went
Speaker 2: off and that you will come a d itch. Jum yum.
Speaker 2: Oh you look good.
Speaker 1: Everybody that's on my show gets a present.
Speaker 2: Oh what is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's just stuff that that's at my house,
Speaker 1: which happens to be your house that I'm getting rid of.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 1: Okay, well the first here's your first gift. You're gonna
Speaker 1: love this.
Speaker 2: And do I like it?
Speaker 1: This is every every craft that you did in preschool,
Speaker 1: every single thing that you came home. I saved them all,
Speaker 1: but I don't because Mom will let me throw it away,
Speaker 1: So I thought I would just give it back to you.
Speaker 1: And now you're in charge of it. There's just hundreds
Speaker 1: and hundreds of things in here. You want to get
Speaker 1: that off my desk?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Please, okay, please get it off?
Speaker 2: What I like?
Speaker 1: You're gooful?
Speaker 2: Oh do you have any other gift for me? More
Speaker 2: one my gift? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, would I
Speaker 2: like it?
Speaker 1: You'll love it?
Speaker 2: Oh? Come on, yay, rocky box wacky.
Speaker 1: You don't ever play with these, and yet you just
Speaker 1: take them out and then it's impossible to put them
Speaker 1: back in the box because they all have to be
Speaker 1: put in so perfectly for the box to close. Can
Speaker 1: we donate these? Can we give these to some other
Speaker 1: other kids?
Speaker 2: Give it to them? Then you have to give me
Speaker 2: a not a pleasant.
Speaker 1: To replace it. That's not how it works.
Speaker 2: All this other stuff, and yet you just gave me
Speaker 2: this and now you don't even want it.
Speaker 1: That's true, But what's the rule in the house. You
Speaker 1: have to give away what ten or twenty toys to
Speaker 1: get one new one?
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: That's a good rule. The problem is that's not enough.
Speaker 1: It should have been thirty. You were in preschool for
Speaker 1: two and a half years. Do you want me to
Speaker 1: tell you the time I was the most proud of you?
Speaker 2: Which time?
Speaker 1: One time I picked you up from school and you
Speaker 1: had a new toy in your hand, and I got
Speaker 1: upset because I immediately thought that you had taken somebody
Speaker 1: else's toy. So I went to your teacher and I said,
Speaker 1: and you're like, no, no, they gave this to me,
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to get confirmation. And she told me.
Speaker 1: Your teacher said that you were so nice that day
Speaker 1: that there was a new kid at school that nobody
Speaker 1: was playing with, and you went over and invited him
Speaker 1: to play with you, and so she let you go
Speaker 1: into the treasure chest as a reward since nobody told
Speaker 1: you to go over there, and you just included him
Speaker 1: in the games. And I said, oh, man, I thought
Speaker 1: my son stole something, but instead.
Speaker 2: He was super super nice.
Speaker 1: Way, what are you gonna ask Santa for Christmas this year?
Speaker 2: Tubercada? Things that I would like and I might get
Speaker 2: I might say, can I have something that I would
Speaker 2: like for even you.
Speaker 1: Want to ask him for something that you'll like forever? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a pretty good gift. And you know that you
Speaker 1: know that gift is memories. Memories. That's right, that's great
Speaker 1: that you just said that. I was gonna say. Love. Hey,
Speaker 1: let's talk about sports real quick. First of all, do
Speaker 1: you play any sports?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: What sports do you play? Ready?
Speaker 2: Position? Two?
Speaker 1: Which way do you swing the racket? Load of high, baby,
Speaker 1: load of high? You gotta put that top on it.
Speaker 1: What about breakdancing?
Speaker 2: I'm done doing that and I'm benning it again.
Speaker 1: You're starting back up and break dancing?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Did you see did you see that Australian in the
Speaker 1: Olympics that the people said baking data. Yeah, and she
Speaker 1: was doing the little like little kangaroo hop. Did you
Speaker 1: think she was good or did you also find it uncomfortable?
Speaker 2: Just? Please? Oh my much? Just just I don't think
Speaker 2: I know you're talking about it.
Speaker 1: Have you lost interest in this interview?
Speaker 2: You wanted me to do this, so I did it?
Speaker 1: All right? You goofball. Well listen, it's been wonderful having
Speaker 1: you on the podcast. Thank you for all your hard
Speaker 1: work doing the bedtime stories, and we'd love to have
Speaker 1: you back in like twenty years. Are we best friends forever?
Speaker 2: Love you today? Love you come on? Best friends?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Casha, Well, I want to thank you my son
Speaker 1: for letting me interview him. Do you like today's guest?
Speaker 1: You don't, do you because what does he do all day?
Speaker 1: Tortures you? Although sometimes you torture him. I've seen you
Speaker 1: run at full speed clip him, take his legs clean out,
Speaker 1: hit a full flip. That was impressive, I believe it
Speaker 1: or not. Carl, we're coming to the end of his stories,
Speaker 1: his bedtime stories. This is the finale of option one,
Speaker 1: and we were only gonna do my son's bedtime stories
Speaker 1: for the first season. Now I've saved a few that
Speaker 1: maybe in the future special episodes will air one, but
Speaker 1: that is to be determined. Then my daughter, when she
Speaker 1: hits the age where she can start spitting out stories,
Speaker 1: we'll record hers and we'll let the audience at home
Speaker 1: decide which one of my children should get a larger
Speaker 1: and hair tents. We got a few more years for
Speaker 1: my daughter. Although she has excelled in some things very quickly.
Speaker 1: She might be a she might be a champ. All right,
Speaker 1: what else?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Hey, I want to talk about some free stuff that
Speaker 1: came our way. These aren't plugs again. Remember when a
Speaker 1: Stance sent me those socks. They sent me nine pair
Speaker 1: and I got furious because what am I to do
Speaker 1: with nine pairs of socks? And I made the joke
Speaker 1: that Bombas if Stance didn't up their game, I was
Speaker 1: gonna switch to Bombas. Bombas did it. They sent me
Speaker 1: two one hundred and fifty pairs of socks. I've got them.
Speaker 1: I got just tons of socks from them, you know,
Speaker 1: tons of them. They're just boxes and boxes of socks,
Speaker 1: every color in the world, every style in the world.
Speaker 1: Just and listen. I couldn't be happier. They also it's
Speaker 1: because their business models. They then donated two hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty pair to the unhoused and unsocked socks. Unsocks. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you say it. People that don't have
Speaker 1: a home but also don't have socks. They donated two
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty pair to them. So you can't even
Speaker 1: get mad for them sending me free socks. Now, am
Speaker 1: I gonna switch? I don't know, Probably not, but uh
Speaker 1: I like them. I'm gonna go through them. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: pick the ones I want. They weren't even the only
Speaker 1: people that sent me stocks in this other company, what
Speaker 1: are they? Merge four? They sent my kid a bunch
Speaker 1: of socks. They got monsters on them stuff. They made
Speaker 1: a joke or something saying that you can't cancel their socks.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It doesn't I didn't find it funny.
Speaker 1: But they sent me a ton of socks for me
Speaker 1: and my kid, So I go through those as well.
Speaker 1: It is a great day for free socks here. Now
Speaker 1: did they donate to charity? Probably not. That's okay. Bombas
Speaker 1: took care of them. I also a candle company, send
Speaker 1: me some more candles. I don't know what they are Hey,
Speaker 1: Penn and Beach, may send me one bourbon, a couple
Speaker 1: of these nays smells holiday, I'll put I'll lay those
Speaker 1: up around December. That's nice. That's all the free stuff
Speaker 1: that we got this week. You know, I want to
Speaker 1: start sending us free stuff. This is getting silly. I
Speaker 1: should ask for sponsor to just buy the stuff myself.
Speaker 1: But that's not fun. Chomps those beef sticks, but I
Speaker 1: want a lot of turkey. Okay, I like the turkey sticks.
Speaker 1: But you can send some beef for the boys here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some beef for the boys here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why not send me a bunch of those. I
Speaker 1: like those things. Those things are good anyway. Speaking of clothes,
Speaker 1: boyswoarpink dot com my children's clothing line. Let's get that
Speaker 1: off the books. Somebody's swooping and buy that for me.
Speaker 1: You can go see Eddie do stand up. You don't
Speaker 1: have to just listen to me. You can go to
Speaker 1: his website and check out his tour dates. Also check
Speaker 1: out my tour dates. Come see me in Hawaii and
Speaker 1: New Orleans. Oh, my son's never been to New Orleans.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for his first proper bignet. Oh that's
Speaker 1: gonna be fun, and I'm gonna give him a po
Speaker 1: boy first, just gonna wreck his entwards, some jumbalaya, oh,
Speaker 1: some crawfish, teach him how to suck the head like
Speaker 1: his daddy do before we throw. I'm a little emotional
Speaker 1: here to my son's bedtime story. This is the final one,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna subtitle this one. I'm gonna let
Speaker 1: you guys figure out what he said. You feel free
Speaker 1: to write it at the bottom, all right. And by
Speaker 1: the way, these are never in any particular order. This one,
Speaker 1: I believe was one of his earlier works. I was
Speaker 1: much more patient with his painful story and telling than
Speaker 1: I did toward the end of that run. But anyway,
Speaker 1: that's the one we're gonna end on. See you guys
Speaker 1: next week. All right, go ahead and tell me a
Speaker 1: happy story.
Speaker 2: Okay, time in a sauce sauce over with a two
Speaker 2: time out. They were played with Dinal's dinos were not sely,
Speaker 2: so they won one put in their one, silly Dynald,
Speaker 2: And that's.
Speaker 1: A great story. Thank you.