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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law schemed to take our baby, and

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Speaker 2: my husband knew all along.

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Speaker 3: That's very unfortunate.

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Speaker 2: I'm due with my first baby in about two months,

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Speaker 2: and I'm feeling extremely uneasy about my mother in law

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Speaker 2: being around us once she's born. I hope y'all are

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Speaker 2: ready for this.

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Speaker 3: The baby's not even here and she's already scheming.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from UCID eighteen forty one.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to make your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash okay Storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and I'm Keon, and we're.

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Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofuley, But we don't have

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Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

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Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 2: And Opie says when we first told her I was pregnant,

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Speaker 2: she was overjoyed and crying tears of happiness. Not long after,

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Speaker 2: we moved into a new place and she came to

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Speaker 2: help she asked to stay for a night or two

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Speaker 2: and ended up staying two months straight without ever asking.

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Speaker 2: She basically lived on our couch. As many of you know,

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Speaker 2: those first weeks of pregnancy are tough with mood swings, exhaustion,

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Speaker 2: and hormones. I'll admit my patience was thin, but she

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Speaker 2: pushed every button. Two days before my birthday, she completely

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Speaker 2: lost it on me, calling me names, accusing me of

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Speaker 2: trapping her son, and telling me to go f myself.

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Speaker 2: We kicked her out, only for her to show up

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Speaker 2: again uninvited on my birthday, refusing to apologize. Instead, she

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Speaker 2: told me she doesn't apologize to see you next Tuesdays

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Speaker 2: and only makes improvements through actions. Against my better judgment,

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Speaker 2: I gave her another chance because the idea of her

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Speaker 2: being cut off from my baby called a lot of

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Speaker 2: tension with my husband. Since then, she's constantly referred to

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Speaker 2: my unborn child as my baby as in her baby,

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Speaker 2: which has always made me uncomfortable. Recently, my brother in

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Speaker 2: law's girlfriend told me just how far things have gone.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law has been talking badly about me

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Speaker 2: for months, even secretly filming me in my own home

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Speaker 2: and twisting it to make me look bad. She called

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Speaker 2: me a thief for moving cash from our desk to

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Speaker 2: deposit it into our shared accounts. Worse, she's been telling

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Speaker 2: people that my child is hers. The most disturbing part

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Speaker 2: is that my brother in law's girlfriend told me my

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Speaker 2: mother in law has an actual plan to try to

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Speaker 2: take custody of my baby. According to her, my mother

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Speaker 2: in law intends to create situations that would drive me

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Speaker 2: away from my husband, leaving the baby behind. She would

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Speaker 2: then try try to make my husband look unfit to

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Speaker 2: parent as well, giving her a path to go to

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Speaker 2: court for custody.

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Speaker 3: So why are we having her around in any capacity?

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Speaker 3: Like go live in your car, go live in a shelt,

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Speaker 3: like straight up, like go live anywhere besides in our home.

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Speaker 2: I can't describe how terrifying this feels as a first

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Speaker 2: time mom. I don't want her anywhere near my baby.

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Speaker 2: I don't even trust her to hold her because in

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Speaker 2: the back of my mind, I fear she might harm her.

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Speaker 2: The problem is my husband and his brother are used

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Speaker 2: to her behavior. She's acted like this their whole lives,

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Speaker 2: and they tend to soften and forgive, which lets her

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Speaker 2: keep doing these things without consequence. That makes it hard

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Speaker 2: for me to draw a firm line, especially since it's

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Speaker 2: his mother. I don't know what the right next step is,

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Speaker 2: but what I do know is my priority is protecting

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Speaker 2: my baby, and right now I don't feel safe with

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Speaker 2: her anywhere near us. And we have some comments before

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Speaker 2: we get into those, though you got anything, Yeah, Like.

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Speaker 3: It's it's hard when you when you're raised in an

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Speaker 3: environment where you know your parent or you know your

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Speaker 3: mother is kind of is bay of this way forever.

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Speaker 3: It's hard to see how messed up it is. But

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I think you need to knock some

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Speaker 3: sense into him that it's like, hey, this is our kid. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: our kid is not going to be put in a

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Speaker 3: position to be I don't know, like stolen by your.

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Speaker 2: Mom, comments commenter one. The next step is a protective

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Speaker 2: order against her if your jurisdiction allows, tell your husband

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Speaker 2: that the threats are a real concern and you no

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Speaker 2: longer feel safe in your own home when she's around.

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Speaker 2: Until she can respect you and your boundaries, she should

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Speaker 2: have zero access to you or your child. Commenter two.

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Speaker 2: You're underreacting trying to make room for your husband's feelings,

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Speaker 2: So let's be very clear. What you just described is

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Speaker 2: a plan to kidnap your baby. It's not bluster, it's

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Speaker 2: not just how she is. It's not just but she

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Speaker 2: wouldn't actually do it. Whether she uses a sob story

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Speaker 2: in front of an ancient judge that should have retired

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Speaker 2: in nineteen ninety two or a windowless van with free

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Speaker 2: candy painted on the sign, she is planning something wrong. Period.

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Speaker 2: There's no discussion to be had. Her motives don't matter,

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Speaker 2: her mental issues don't matter, her history doesn't matter, Her

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Speaker 2: shared DNA doesn't matter. What matters is the safety of

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Speaker 2: the baby. She's planning to take comment with three. She's

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Speaker 2: going to drive you insane and then swoop in and

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Speaker 2: rescue the baby from her mentally ill mother. You must

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Speaker 2: take action, even if your husband is too weak to.

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Speaker 2: Can you move in with your own family. Tell your

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Speaker 2: husband the visits involving his mother are done. She cannot

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Speaker 2: come to your home ever again. She is not welcome

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Speaker 2: at the hospital or even to meet the baby. Please

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Speaker 2: take her seriously. Your husband is too weak to handle this.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if weak is the right word, but

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Speaker 3: it's definitely like jaded. Probably he's just too accustomed to

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Speaker 3: his mom being crazy, and then he just lets it

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Speaker 3: go and she's all right, and then she's crazy again

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Speaker 3: and he lets it go. But now there's a baby involved.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs to step up and show that he's

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Speaker 2: gonna take it seriously. Yeah, ope, he responds. Before we

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Speaker 2: even knew about this, we had made an agreement that

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Speaker 2: she will have no knowledge of which hospital I will

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Speaker 2: be giving birth at, nor will she know when I

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Speaker 2: go into labor. So far, we have agreed that he

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Speaker 2: will handle her. We are on the same page about everything,

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Speaker 2: and that he will respect my wishes and concerns regarding

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Speaker 2: her being around my baby. Commenterfore says, can you move

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Speaker 2: in with your parents or a sibling, put as much

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Speaker 2: distance as possible between you and your mother in law?

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Speaker 2: Bring baby home to said parents and siblings house once born,

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Speaker 2: document everything, install cameras inside and outside, and don't tell

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Speaker 2: her that way if you stay for a while or return,

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Speaker 2: you have recordings of mother in law too. Opie responds,

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Speaker 2: My parents unfortunately live in another state, and I am

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Speaker 2: far too pregnant to pack up and travel so far

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Speaker 2: away and even find a new doctor who will take

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Speaker 2: me this late. My husband and I did just move

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Speaker 2: into a new place. And the plan is now that

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Speaker 2: she will be given no knowledge of where our new

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Speaker 2: house is or even the area. And we have an update.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, we have a plan.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like they're on the same page. They're chilling.

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Speaker 3: We have made a plan, and the plan is do

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Speaker 3: not let her near that kid.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sure nothing will go wrong and she totally

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Speaker 2: won't try to find her new house or anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not going to change, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, I shared a post

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Speaker 2: about my mother in law's alarming plan to take my baby,

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Speaker 2: whether through fighting for custody or even kidnapping once she's born.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to share an update and thank everyone who

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Speaker 2: offered advice. I took every bit of it seriously and

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Speaker 2: have put those suggestions into action. I contacted CPS and

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Speaker 2: made a report detailing her plan to frame me as

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Speaker 2: an unfit mother in an attempt to gain custody. My

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Speaker 2: husband and I also called her to confront her about

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Speaker 2: what we knew. She immediately went into denial, screaming, crying,

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Speaker 2: insisting she'd never do something like that, while heavily guilt

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Speaker 2: tripping my husband. By the end of her tantrum. She

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Speaker 2: had managed a tug at his emotions, but I stayed firm. Afterward,

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Speaker 2: she blocked me on social media, and I blocked her

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Speaker 2: as well. I don't want her having any access to

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Speaker 2: me or my baby, even through photos or posts. So far,

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Speaker 2: my husband agreed to honor my boundaries and keep her

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Speaker 2: completely away from our child. However, today something happened that

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Speaker 2: really shook my confidence in that problem. He came home

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Speaker 2: about an hour late from work with a gift bag,

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Speaker 2: a smile, and handed me one hundred dollars in cash.

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Speaker 2: Turns out he met up with his mother on his

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Speaker 2: way home.

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Speaker 3: No, that's not the plan.

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Speaker 2: She gave him a baby shower gift, since I will

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Speaker 2: not allow her to our baby shower, a card addressed

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Speaker 2: to my baby too.

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Speaker 3: No, no, my baby too. No, not your baby. Just

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Speaker 3: be a grandma.

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Speaker 2: You freakng ah. That specific phrase was something I had

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Speaker 2: already told him makes me extremely uncomfortable, as she's repeatedly

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Speaker 2: referred to my daughter as her baby. He brushed it off,

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Speaker 2: saying I was overreacting and that it was a nice gesture.

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Speaker 2: Mind you, I I have been asking him for the

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Speaker 2: last couple of weeks if he had heard from his mother,

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Speaker 2: to which his answer was always no. It got worse.

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Speaker 2: Inside the card was two hundred dollars. He told me

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Speaker 2: that he had an extra hundred in his wallet. I

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Speaker 2: asked to see it, and he refused. Turns out she

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Speaker 2: gave him a one thousand dollars in cash and told

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Speaker 2: him not to tell me how much it was and

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Speaker 2: if he had to, to make it seem like a

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Speaker 2: much smaller amount. When I asked to see the money,

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Speaker 2: he refused at first and only admitted the truth after

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Speaker 2: I kept pressing.

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Speaker 4: H your husband sucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your husband is one hundred percent not going to

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Speaker 2: be following through on anything that you guys do.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: That's unfortunate. That's real unfortunate.

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Speaker 2: So now, after everything we agreed on, it feels like

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Speaker 2: she's buying her way back into his good graces and

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Speaker 2: he's letting her. I told him that she is manipulating

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Speaker 2: him to allow herself back into our lives. His response was,

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Speaker 2: that's not a very nice thing to say. I'm heartbroken

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Speaker 2: and frustrated. We've got a little bit left.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's like it's like, yeah, oh, divorce your husband,

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Speaker 3: but like you're pregnant about to start a life with

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Speaker 3: a child with this.

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Speaker 2: Man, there's still going to be be.

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Speaker 3: Way harder to do. Yeah, it's easy to say to

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Speaker 3: do that, but like I think maybe in this context,

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Speaker 3: threatening to divorce might make him wake up or it's

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Speaker 3: like you have to choose me or your mom.

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Speaker 2: Definitely some sort of threat upon like I will be

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Speaker 2: leaving you because we set this boundary, Like, are you

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Speaker 2: not realizing that your mom wants to take our child

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Speaker 2: away from both of us?

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Speaker 3: It's not good.

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Speaker 2: I don't like it. I hate that it feels like

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Speaker 2: it's them versus me right now, especially at such a

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Speaker 2: vulnerable time in my pregnancy. But I want to be

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Speaker 2: clear that my stance hasn't changed. My mother in law

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Speaker 2: will not be allowed around my baby period. We have

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Speaker 2: some comments you might need to go to your family

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Speaker 2: now and have baby there. Call this a wake up

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Speaker 2: to your husband. Be blunt. You've lost faith in him

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Speaker 2: to protect you and baby, so for now you won't

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Speaker 2: be anywhere she can get to you or baby. Someone replies,

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Speaker 2: even better, if possible, if you have family in a

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Speaker 2: different state, go there, especially a state with better protections

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Speaker 2: for the mother and no grandparents' rites. Heck, if you

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Speaker 2: have to get a family member to move there with you.

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Speaker 2: It makes a custody case that much harder if they

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Speaker 2: have to cross state lines to pursue it, especially if

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Speaker 2: it's a sizeable difference. And if you already live there

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Speaker 2: when the child's born, then that by default is the

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Speaker 2: state of residence of the child, as opposed to if

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Speaker 2: you go after having the child, he can try to

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Speaker 2: pursue kidnapping charges or just generally get you into a

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Speaker 2: lot of trouble with the court over it. That's the

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Speaker 2: end of that story.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you just gotta really put it all on the line.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's better to get it out there now before

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Speaker 2: you have the baby that your mother in law tries

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Speaker 2: to kidnap. It definitely take some form of protection against this,

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Speaker 2: because that's horrifying. And that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 2: We're going to go to the next one.

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Speaker 3: I set one boundary while pregnant, and my in laws

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Speaker 3: lost their minds.

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Speaker 2: You should be able to set as many as you are.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I are approaching eight months pregnant and

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Speaker 3: live very close to all of his family. At the

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Speaker 3: beginning of our pregnancy, everyone was so supportive and wanted

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Speaker 3: to help and be a part of everything, which my

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Speaker 3: husband and I very much appreciated. By the way, I'm

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Speaker 3: the pillow man and this comes from user It's pitter

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Speaker 3: patter And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r Slashowkay Storytime supper It. I'm Dakota, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Carly, I'm Keon, and we.

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Speaker 3: Are I'm here to give good advice goofully, But we

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Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

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00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 3: would do, so if you would do something different, let

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Speaker 3: us know in the comments and op says. When we

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Speaker 3: first found out we were pregnant, my mother in law

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00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 3: stated she wanted to do weekly belly photos, and I

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00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 3: thought that was something I would be interested in. After

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Speaker 3: week fifteen of doing the exact same pose and the

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Speaker 3: exact same spot in her apartment, I was starting to

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Speaker 3: feel a little uncomfortable. Around the twelfth or thirteenth week

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Speaker 3: of taking these photos, she started encouraging and asking me

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Speaker 3: to do unflattering poses like the baby was falling out

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00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,480
Speaker 3: of me. I was only twenty three or twenty four

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Speaker 3: weeks pregnant at this point. At first I thought it

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Speaker 3: was funny and laughed along with her until She continued

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Speaker 3: to ask me the following two or three weeks to

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Speaker 3: do the same unflattering pose. I stated to my husband

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Speaker 3: I felt uncomfortable with always doing these photos at her apartment,

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Speaker 3: including this uncomfortable and unflattering pose she continues to ask

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Speaker 3: me to do.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I will say, real quick, then why don't we

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Speaker 2: just tell her day one of that pose? Hey, I'm

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Speaker 2: totally fine with taking the side angle front angle of

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Speaker 2: my bump, but like, we're not doing these weird other ones.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not doing the my baby's falling out of

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Speaker 3: my cooter.

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Speaker 2: Right fully, just be just tell mother in law. She's like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: like those poses made me a little uncomfy, fine with

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Speaker 2: the other ones, let's stick with that.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to do the photos anymore, especially if

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Speaker 3: we had to continue to go to her apartment and

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00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 3: do these same poses for the next twenty or something weeks.

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Speaker 3: He agreed that it was strange and we didn't have

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Speaker 3: to go ever. Since then, at the end of July,

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00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 3: his mom has tried luring us to her apartment with

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Speaker 3: odd issues she needs my husband to fix. When that

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Speaker 3: didn't work, she started refusing to spend any time with

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Speaker 3: us at our home. Oh no. We invited her over

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Speaker 3: for dinner on three different occasions, and she has turned

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Speaker 3: down all three invites. She even purposefully ate prior to dinner,

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Speaker 3: and I told my husband she wasn't staying for dinner

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Speaker 3: because she'd eaten a burger when I had invited her

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Speaker 3: the night before. She has now decided to push this

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00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,320
Speaker 3: matter further and involve her sister and mother, who have

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Speaker 3: now removed me from their social media with no explanation.

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Speaker 3: We all live within eight blocks of each other in

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Speaker 3: a very small town. I recently celebrated my twenty eighth

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Speaker 3: birthday a few weeks ago. We celebrated with our good

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Speaker 3: friends and god children, so I hadn't looked at my

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Speaker 3: phone for the majority of that day due to spending

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Speaker 3: time with friends. My mother in law had texted me

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Speaker 3: at some point, and when I didn't respond with in

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Speaker 3: a timely manner, she texted my husband to let me

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00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,840
Speaker 3: know she'd drop off my gift the next day. Since

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00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 3: I didn't respond to her. We live on the same

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00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 3: block and can see each other's windows and driveways. She

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00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 3: knew we were home since we were outside playing with

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00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 3: our god children, and both of our vehicles were home. Instead,

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00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 3: she tried guilt tripping my husband and I into coming

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Speaker 3: over to her apartment again. Since I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: go to her apartment anymore. I'd invited her over for

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Speaker 3: dinner the next night when she stated she'd bring my

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00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,920
Speaker 3: gifts and to spend time together and look at what

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Speaker 3: we'd done in the nursery. This was the night she'd

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Speaker 3: purposefully ate prior to telling my husband thirty minutes before

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Speaker 3: I was done cooking that she wasn't staying for dinner

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00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 3: because she'd eatn a burger, but she would drop my

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00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 3: gifts off. She stayed no longer than ten minutes before

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Speaker 3: she scurried right back out of our home. I'm confused

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Speaker 3: what the problem is. At this point. We've told her no,

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Speaker 3: we don't want to do your weird photos, and she's

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Speaker 3: acting weird. Okay, I think.

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Speaker 2: She was just being a little pushy, but no one

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00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,160
Speaker 2: was really telling her flat out, just like, hey, you're

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Speaker 2: being a little pushy.

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Speaker 3: My baby shower is in four weeks, and I can't

326
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 3: imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it's going to be. Part

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00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 3: of me hopes they come, but the other part of

328
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,199
Speaker 3: me hopes they don't. I just can't wait for my

329
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 3: son to get here and get away from the nonsense.

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Speaker 3: And there's an update.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I saw the beginning yinh.

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Speaker 3: Titled my in laws are trying to convince my husband

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00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 3: I'm nuts. Well, I hope your husband has enough brain

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00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 3: in his noggin. I posted last night about how my

335
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,199
Speaker 3: mother in law is losing her mind over me not

336
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 3: wanting to take weekly belly photos anymore. I am nearly

337
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 3: eight months pregnant. When I was having dinner with my

338
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 3: husband last night, I recognized his aunt and grandma unfriended

339
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 3: me on social media. But this morning his aunt texted

340
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 3: me like nothing was wrong. I asked her what had

341
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 3: happened for them to remove me from social media, and

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00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,919
Speaker 3: she turned everything around to make it seem like I

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00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 3: was the one who removed them and I was the

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00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 3: one trying to pry my husband away from them. She

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00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 3: even came to our home to try to convince him

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00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 3: and myself that I was crazy and intentionally trying to

347
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 3: hurt them and destroy their family. What over pregnancy photos?

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Speaker 2: This is yeah, definitely way too far, Like what are

349
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 2: we doing here?

350
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 3: This visit ended in her yelling at me after I

351
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 3: politely asked her not to several times during the conversation.

352
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 3: She called me crazy and a liar in my own home,

353
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 3: so I asked her to leave. As she was leaving,

354
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 3: she turned back and said, I can't believe she would

355
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 3: try to pry you away from us. All I know

356
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 3: is my sister has been crying herself to sleep for

357
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 3: weeks because of the way you've been treating her.

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Speaker 2: F you, Oh my god, saying f.

359
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 3: You to a pregnant woman, heavily pregnant.

360
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 2: All of that to anybody, like, what the heck? Because

361
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 2: I said no to your picture, y'all ruining my whole life.

362
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 3: I am just in awe because I've never experienced something

363
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 3: like this before. I have tried so hard to include

364
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,199
Speaker 3: them in my pregnancy but still be able to enjoy

365
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 3: my own pregnancy. I started setting boundaries because I felt uncomfortable,

366
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 3: and this is what I get in return. We have

367
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 3: another update, oh very low contact till the baby's born,

368
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 3: and hopefully this all goes away. Days ago, I shared

369
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 3: how my husband's aunt thought it was appropriate to come

370
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 3: into our home and yell at me for her actions,

371
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 3: accusing me of everything she had been doing and done

372
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 3: to me. This ended with her being asked to leave,

373
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 3: and she took it upon herself to finish the visit

374
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 3: off with the crisp f you, but not before revealing

375
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 3: that her sister, my mother in law, had been bad

376
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 3: mouthing me and spinning another's story behind our backs. My

377
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 3: husband and I knew something needed to be done about

378
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 3: this horrid situation, especially because we are due to welcome

379
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 3: our first baby boy into this world at the beginning

380
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 3: of November. Originally, he thought the best plan was to

381
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 3: go have a sit down with his mother and aunt

382
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,479
Speaker 3: to set boundaries, but the longer we talked about it,

383
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 3: the more we both realized the level of manipulation in

384
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 3: their family was far too extreme for him to be

385
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 3: able to accomplish this on his own. We settled with

386
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: a text message to his mother to the point calling

387
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 3: out unhealthy behavior and not sparing any feelings since mine

388
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: weren't spared leading up to that point. We also figured

389
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 3: that I should send this text message due to the

390
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 3: fact that I was the one being framed essentially as

391
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 3: well as being used as their whipping post. As my

392
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,239
Speaker 3: husband put it, my husband continues to defend me in

393
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,159
Speaker 3: all of these situations. My husband has spent his entire

394
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 3: life thinking this type of malicious behavior is normal, and

395
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 3: I am the first one to open his eyes to reality.

396
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 3: This situation has not only been hard on me, but

397
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 3: it's been extremely difficult for my husband. I sent my

398
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 3: mother in law message explaining that I was setting boundaries

399
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 3: for myself and my family. I told her about the

400
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 3: unpleasant encounter with the aunt at our home and how

401
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 3: her sister revealed she had been calling her every night

402
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 3: crying about how I'd been treating her. I pointed out

403
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 3: how bizarre this was, considering I'd invited her over for

404
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 3: dinner three times and she chose not to come. I

405
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 3: made it clear that if I don't want to do

406
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 3: something like the belly photos, I shouldn't have to. Yeah, exactly, Yeah.

407
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 3: Frank wanted to spare her feelings and we both hoped

408
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: she'd recognize I was uncomfortable, but clearly that wasn't the case.

409
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 3: I told her both she and the aunt would be

410
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 3: held accountable for their behavior, and I expected an apology

411
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 3: from both of them. I also wanted an explanation for

412
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 3: why she chose to manipulate the family instead of dealing

413
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,399
Speaker 3: with this like an adult. Until she took responsibility she

414
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 3: was not welcome in our home. After sending this text message,

415
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 3: I received a response from her, but so did my husband,

416
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: and believe it or not, the messages were completely different.

417
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kulda guessed that one I would.

418
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: Believe that one thousand.

419
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: Percent I would have guessed that.

420
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 3: Even her response to me was that she doesn't call

421
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 3: the aunt every night crying and doesn't know where this

422
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 3: is all coming from. She said she only asked about

423
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 3: the belly picks twice and genuinely thought we were busy.

424
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 3: She insisted she never felt I was uncomfortable and claimed

425
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 3: she keeps to herself and doesn't rock the boat. She

426
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 3: said the dinner invites felt off and that she was

427
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 3: being attacked for stuff she's clueless about. She painted herself

428
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 3: as genuine, not malicious or mean, and claimed she doesn't

429
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 3: cross boundaries or push herself into situations. She said she

430
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 3: didn't know what she was apologizing for, but to Frank,

431
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 3: her message was much more emotional and guilt tripping. She

432
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 3: told him this wasn't fair and came out of left field.

433
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 3: She said her heart was broken and she's lost for words.

434
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 3: She claimed she wouldn't hurt a flea and that she's

435
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 3: dinged if she does, m dinged if she doesn't. She

436
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 3: told him this was the second time she had been

437
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: talked to like a child for something she hasn't done,

438
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: and maybe.

439
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: Have an adult conversation and will speak to you like

440
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: an adult.

441
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 3: She made it all about her feelings and how shocked

442
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 3: she was that he didn't know her better than this.

443
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,959
Speaker 3: The two messages showed completely different sides and proved she

444
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 3: was manipulating us both. And there's a third update. But honestly,

445
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,120
Speaker 3: at this point, what are we doing.

446
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 2: We're gonna keep talking like a baby and so you

447
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 2: can be an adult.

448
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm really talking anymore.

449
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 2: I'm sending a message that's going, Hey, you know, me

450
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: and my husband talk. I read both texts. What's happening?

451
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 3: That is crazy that she just like what thought that

452
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: that wouldn't right, would be cross.

453
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 2: Reference an he wasn't gonna mention that.

454
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is just a big schilly goose move. Silly

455
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 3: silly Update number three here my in laws are still

456
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 3: trying to convince my husband I'm the problem. A couple

457
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: of weeks ago, I posted about my in laws verbally

458
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 3: attacking me. My husband's aunt coming to our home unannounced,

459
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: yelling at me after being asked twice not to, and

460
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 3: after being asked to leave, she gave me the big

461
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 3: F you before I shut the door. She also revealed

462
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 3: my mother in law had been bad mouthing me since

463
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 3: I stopped allowing her to take unflattering photos of me

464
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:56,159
Speaker 3: while pregnant. The crazy has not ended. It's actually continued

465
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 3: on their part, from his aunt's seventeen year old daughter

466
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 3: read pushing out to tell him they are only trying

467
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: to protect him and inviting only him to her senior

468
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 3: night at her high school, to his aunt sending a

469
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,239
Speaker 3: lengthy text to him stating she would not apologize to

470
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,239
Speaker 3: me because she has done nothing wrong and how he

471
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 3: essentially should trust her and not me. The aunt sent

472
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 3: my husband a lengthy text defending herself. She brought up

473
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: how she had messaged me about going to a sale

474
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 3: to purchase items from our baby registry and claimed the

475
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 3: response she got was the reason she came down to

476
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,360
Speaker 3: our home. She insisted she had been talking to us

477
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 3: both and inviting us to events. She said the only

478
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 3: reason she came down was because I said she deleted

479
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 3: me off Facebook and she needed to stand up for

480
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 3: herself and prove her truth. She went on about how

481
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 3: she's never told him what to do with his life

482
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 3: and has never said she doesn't like me. She made

483
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 3: it clear she won't apologize for something she didn't do

484
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 3: and won't let anyone lie to her about it. She

485
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 3: then tried to guilt trip him by saying she supported

486
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 3: him one hundred percent his whole life and has never

487
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 3: let him down. She said, if he chooses not to

488
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 3: be in her life because of this, that's his choice

489
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 3: and she can go to bed knowing she did write

490
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 3: by him. She finished by saying she stands by her

491
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: truth even if it means standing alone, and she loves

492
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 3: us both despite the false things said about her. It

493
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 3: was all manipulation, trying to make me look like the

494
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 3: bad guy and make him doubt his own wife. My

495
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 3: husband did not respond to this text, as he and

496
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 3: I both stated to his aunt, his mother, and his

497
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 3: cousin that I indeed did deserve an apology for being

498
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: treated that way. They are treating me for absolutely no reason.

499
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 3: There is a little bit more story here.

500
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,439
Speaker 2: Sounds like they did what we said. You're holding strong

501
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: saying that you deserve an apology. And I'm not going

502
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 2: to talk to you till I get one.

503
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:53,919
Speaker 3: You're doing exactly what Okay, Storytime approved methodology here.

504
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: Stamp of approval. Yeah, took our advice without even having it.

505
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 3: That is the proper move, Yes to say, let's finish

506
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 3: this story. I have stated why I deserve an apology,

507
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 3: and both his mother and his aunt have expressed why

508
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 3: they have done nothing wrong and that I don't even

509
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 3: deserve an apology. I told his mother she and the

510
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 3: aunt would not be welcome in our home until I

511
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 3: get one. His aunt also claimed to my grandmother in

512
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 3: law that I'd uninvited her and my mother in law

513
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 3: to the baby shower, which isn't true. But if they

514
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 3: don't apologize, then they will be asked to leave because

515
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 3: I won't allow them to disrespect me in front of

516
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 3: my family and friends at a party they didn't help

517
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 3: with or offer to help with whatsoever. And that is

518
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: the end of that story.

519
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 2: Solid, solid job. Glad your husband was on your side.

520
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 4: We did it.

521
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 3: We did until you get an applied and I like that.

522
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 3: You locked the door up and you're like, hey, if

523
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 3: you apologize and see the error of your ways, there's

524
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 3: a way back. For you.

525
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 2: You're not cut off forever, just until you give an apology.

526
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 3: That's right. But Boyle boyd, was that just a rapid

527
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 3: escalation of nonsense over really just nothing, just a bunch

528
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 3: of schemes and lies and deceit. You're just like, hey,

529
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know about these new pregnancy photo choices,

530
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 3: and that somehow evolved into not.

531
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: Talking and you hate me and my sister and we're

532
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 2: just the weird baby pictures, weird, weird, weird. And that's

533
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 2: the end of this story. We're gonna go to the

534
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: next one.

535
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

536
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 2: Here.

537
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

538
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

539
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 4: My boyfriend flirted with other women but still asked to

540
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 4: live with me.

541
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 2: Ooh no, he can go live with the other women.

542
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 4: For context, my boyfriend used to be a streamer and

543
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 4: used to snapchat plus regularly. His snapscore is near three

544
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 4: hundred thousand and grows by thousands each week. Again, he's

545
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 4: also a streamer. He's one of those dudes with the

546
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 4: big personality that makes friends it everywhere he goes. Apparently,

547
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 4: especially in the past. He's always asked people for their

548
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 4: socials when he met them. By the way, this comes

549
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 4: from user important Custard seventy six and if you want

550
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

551
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 4: Okay story time, supre it. I'm ke On, I'm Carly,

552
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice. Goofly. But we

553
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We just know what we'd do.

554
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do. And I

555
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 4: don't know docs here. I want to. I want to

556
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 4: know who this guy is.

557
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: Put your everybody here in chat right now. Put your

558
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 2: snap score, your snap score.

559
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 4: I want to know your snap score, Obi says. Additionally,

560
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 4: he has a kid from a previous relationship. I don't

561
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 4: We've only been together for Happy Year six months. The

562
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: kid adores me, or she used to. I used to

563
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 4: go to all of her games with her grandma and

564
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 4: him and spend two days out of the week and

565
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 4: every other weekend with the three of us. She loved

566
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 4: to cuddle, watch movies, make art, and play. She's eight.

567
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 4: Because of his living situation, which is an ideal, and

568
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 4: because I have my own home, we've been in he

569
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 4: talks about him and his daughter moving in with me

570
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 4: he has fifty percent custody. Also for context, He moved

571
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 4: very quickly in the relationship, even though I told him

572
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 4: I wanted to take it slow. He introduced me to

573
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 4: his whole family and friends within the first few weeks.

574
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 4: He introduced me to his daughter. After just one month,

575
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 4: he asked me to move in with him. After only

576
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 4: two months, well about four months into the relationship, he

577
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 4: opened a snap from his daughter and once it was

578
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 4: done playing, the screen showed his messages on there dozens

579
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 4: and dozens of messages to other women he had unread

580
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 4: picture snaps from women he maintained one hundred and ninety

581
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: day streaks with. I called him out, and he told

582
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 4: me these are contacts from streaming old friends, other moms,

583
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 4: or his daughter's friends. He displayed other lustful behavior and

584
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 4: decided to look at his phone in the morning. He

585
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 4: had previously given me his pass code and told me

586
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 4: I can look at it anytime. I opened the snaps

587
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 4: from these women who he was clearly exchanging pictures with

588
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 4: for the entirety of our relationship. Some were of food

589
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 4: and random things. Others showed the women sending dozens of

590
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 4: selfies and images of themselves in bikinis. Beyond Snapchat, he

591
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 4: was also constantly following and liking pages of not only

592
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 4: Instagram batties, but also local batties. I felt extremely betrayed

593
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 4: and like a fool. I felt so played here. He

594
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 4: was looking me in the eye and acting like the

595
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 4: most in love man on this planet, yet every time

596
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 4: he left the room, he was exchanging pictures with other women.

597
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 4: I scrolled through the Snapchat history and had to scroll

598
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 4: pretty far just to see one week's history because of

599
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 4: the sheer amount of snaps he was sending other women.

600
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 4: He explained that he didn't know this bothered me, that

601
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 4: he has been this way in every relationship, claiming the

602
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 4: snaps are completely innocent. One of the women's names is Nicki.

603
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 4: He claimed that she's a cousin of a friend. He

604
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 4: said he would fix the situation and do whatever it

605
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 4: takes to make sure I feel safe and secure in

606
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 4: the relationship. Later that same day, we went to a

607
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 4: backyard party. A text from Nicki popped up on his phone.

608
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 4: A few weeks go by, his phone is blowing up

609
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 4: one morning. Guess what they are? There's snapchat notifications. I

610
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 4: open a snapchat the entire time, he claimed he had stopped.

611
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 4: He had not. He had simply removed the streaks with

612
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 4: these women, but continued snapping with them. I called him

613
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 4: out again and he said he thought the trouble was

614
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 4: the streaks, and he removed the streaks. I has him

615
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 4: to stop acting like he's dumb. He knows the issue

616
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 4: was to snaps themselves. To be fair, he did eventually

617
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 4: stop snapping these women. However, by then my trust was

618
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 4: already gone.

619
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

620
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 4: A few months go by, it is really starting to

621
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 4: hit me hard that he's extremely friendly with the females

622
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 4: in his life. He will stop women in their tracks

623
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 4: to compliment their outfits while standing right next to me.

624
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 4: He's very touchy feely. He talks to other women and

625
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 4: has a wandering eye. He ends up going to a

626
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 4: wedding alone because he did not get a plus one

627
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 4: and asked me to pick him up for the first

628
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 4: time ever. He dressed off fancy and couldn't stop checking

629
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 4: himself out in the mirror. I mean, if you're feeling yourself,

630
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 4: you're feeling yourself right.

631
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 2: This could be just the first time that she's seen

632
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: him get ready for an event, but still, given what

633
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: she knows and that she's not invited. It's tough.

634
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 4: There were deodoran stains on the shoulder of his jacket

635
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 4: when I picked him up. All of the men wore

636
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 4: long sleeves get a lot of fun at that wedding,

637
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 4: claimed he didn't even dance with anyone. Well, I got

638
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 4: a really weird gut feeling after that. He started changing

639
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 4: our routine. Instead of coming back to my place after

640
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 4: work and before practice, he began going to bars with

641
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: the boys first, then heading to practice. Who does that?

642
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: You're into the bar before you're going to practice. That's

643
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 2: that's the weirdest behavior.

644
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 4: That doesn't make any sense. That's reversed. He also told

645
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 4: me his kid wants me to come to her competitions,

646
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 4: but not the Saturday games anymore. Her mom is the coach.

647
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 4: My boyfriend goes to all of those games. He also

648
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 4: stopped inviting me over during the weekdays when he had her.

649
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 4: We would meet up for dinner during some of those days,

650
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 4: and she seemed happy and her usual self to see me,

651
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 4: but barely saw her anymore due to no longer being

652
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 4: invited to those games and the way he no longer

653
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 4: invited me for weekday movie nights when he has her

654
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 4: I was prepared to date someone with a child. What

655
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 4: I wasn't prepared for was the fact that his baby

656
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 4: mama is the coach of the kid's team, and that

657
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 4: he'd be spending so much time with her when I'm

658
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 4: not around. Apparently he left her because she was exchanging

659
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 4: pictures with another man. He considered it cheating. Ironic, isn't it, Jieah.

660
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 4: She also has a habit of texting him very late

661
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 4: at night and blowing up his phone when he's in

662
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 4: bed next to me. The text are about his daughter,

663
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 4: but they're the type of informational things that can definitely

664
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 4: wait until the morning. Sometimes she'll be texting him at

665
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 4: one am, two am, all the way into the morning.

666
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 4: She'll also call him when he's with me. Ann ran

667
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 4: about their daughter for an hour at the time. She

668
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 4: even called during my birthday dinner when she knew where

669
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 4: he was. He started telling me that she's finally acting nice,

670
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 4: and it's surprising to him how nice she's been or

671
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 4: how nice he's being. Gee, I wonder why. Well, last

672
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 4: night I got a really weird gut feeling. I ended

673
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 4: up looking at his phone. He was next to me

674
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 4: when I did it. Everything was deleted and squeaky clean.

675
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 4: No search history on Instagram, no suspicious messages, no questionable snaps.

676
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 4: I could tell he had been cleaning up. He always

677
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,439
Speaker 4: deletes notifications on his log screen when I leave the room.

678
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 4: That really made me look closer. It was clear to

679
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 4: me that he was just learning how to hide it

680
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 4: all better. Then I checked his Facebook activity somewhere he

681
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 4: probably thought I wouldn't look. It showed me weeks of

682
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 4: him looking up the same three women since he went

683
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 4: to the wedding. It was weird because it was just

684
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 4: those specific three and he kept looking them up and

685
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 4: visiting their profiles, but he wasn't friends with them. On there.

686
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 4: There were also exotic dancers from the next state over

687
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 4: whose profiles he was looking up and visiting. Oh pee,

688
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 4: break it off. What are we doing? He claimed? The

689
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 4: three women are the girlfriends of friends he is no

690
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 4: longer allowed to be in contact with because these girlfriends

691
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 4: don't like.

692
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 2: Him, so we're looking them up.

693
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,959
Speaker 4: What stupid excuse is.

694
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 2: That, Oh pi, oh P. I know that sometimes it's

695
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 2: hard to see things.

696
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 5: But come on, and he misses his friends and wants

697
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 5: to see what though up to?

698
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 4: I asked why he wasn't visiting those friends pages? And

699
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 4: why is those specific women that he looks up habitually

700
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 4: for a month now every other day? And why is

701
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 4: he visiting spicy dancer profiles? You said it must have

702
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 4: just popped up and he clicked on it. There's a

703
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 4: little bit left here. I think we know the answer,

704
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 4: because op, he seems like he's just having you in

705
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 4: this loop around of lie, deceit, you know what's going on.

706
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 4: I just I think you just got to rip off

707
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 4: that band aid.

708
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, you need to get out of there.

709
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, even if he's not physically or you don't even

710
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 4: need the proof of physically cheating on you. He's doing

711
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 4: all these things that he's a.

712
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 2: Little cheating on you. It's emotional cheating, it's physical cheating

713
00:36:57,840 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 2: through pictures. It's disgusting.

714
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, he's cheating on you. Get out of this.

715
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 4: And I mean it's only been less than a year.

716
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 4: It seems like that you've been together six months.

717
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,840
Speaker 2: You should not have these problems six months in Yeah,

718
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: consistently the whole time.

719
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 4: Like I get it, like he's a streamer, but like

720
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 4: these excuses are are bad.

721
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: Most streamers, I don't I know, aren't snapchating girls all day.

722
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 4: I was gonna say streamers like very popular, like they

723
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 4: know a lot of people, But.

724
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 2: This is You're not usually snapchatting individual.

725
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 4: Girls though, just specifically women like friends look looking them up. Yeah,

726
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 4: and then I pressed.

727
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 2: On a spicy dancer by accident. Many many, many times.

728
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 4: I miss my friends, but these are the golf friends.

729
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 4: So I want to talk to my friends, but they

730
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 4: don't like me, right.

731
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 2: Like, guess no, liar, liar, your pants are burning off

732
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: because they're on fire.

733
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 4: Be a better liar too.

734
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

735
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: At this point, I'm convinced the guys using me to

736
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 4: have a place to live for him and his daughter,

737
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 4: and he's clearly still shopping around. If I ever obsessively

738
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 4: visited the profiles of the same several men, it would

739
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 4: be because I'm interested in those men. I just need

740
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 4: to know if I'm overreacting or if this looks as

741
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 4: bad to everyone else as it does to me. And

742
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 4: we have some comments. Comment number one, a grown but

743
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 4: adult man on snapchat is all the red flag I needed,

744
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 4: didn't have to read the rest. Then I read that

745
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 4: you're already cuddling with his daughter and talking about moving

746
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 4: him in with you at the six month mark, OPI replied,

747
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 4: he's pushing to move in. Obviously I'm not gonna do that.

748
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 4: Comment number two really just sounds like man's not ready

749
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 4: for a serious relationship. Yeah, common number three. You're basically

750
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 4: getting a man child with a Wi Fi connection and

751
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 4: a snapchat a snapchat regular use. The only thing he's

752
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 4: committed to is keeping his streaks alive. Anyone who says

753
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 4: I didn't know that bothered you while sending bikini picks

754
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 4: all day is playing dumb on purpose. Don't move him

755
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 4: in unless you're opening a daycare for emotionally stunted adults.

756
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 4: That's pretty funny, and that is the end of that story.

757
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 2: That's the end.

758
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 4: Yeahpreak up with this man.

759
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: My girlfriend lied about another man for days, then cried.

760
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 4: When I caught her cry about it.

761
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 2: My girlfriend, twenty nine female and I twenty nine male,

762
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: have been together for two years. About a week and

763
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: a half ago, my girlfriend went to a sports game

764
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 2: with her friends. They got access to a VIP booth

765
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: that was right on the field through a connection of

766
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: one of her friends. She got back from the game

767
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: very late and wanted to tell me all about how

768
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 2: amazing it was and how much fun they had. By

769
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from least post and ninety three

770
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 2: twenty and if you want to submit your own stories,

771
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly.

772
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 4: I was Sophia who was previously Dakota, but now I'm.

773
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: Ke On and we're here to give good advice. Goofle lybooh.

774
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 2: We don't have all the answers. We only know what

775
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 2: we would do, So let us know what you would

776
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: do in the comments. Is opie Sas she told me

777
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 2: she met a guy who was the sibling of a

778
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 2: very good player on the opposing team. I asked her

779
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: if he was nice, and she said he was a

780
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 2: little too nice and that she had to tell him

781
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,240
Speaker 2: I had a boyfriend, making it sound like she'd handled

782
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: it appropriately, and that was the end of it. I

783
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 2: was happy that she and her friends had such a

784
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 2: good time at the game. The next night we went

785
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 2: out to dinner. I got out of the car, but

786
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 2: she was still locked in texting, sitting there while I

787
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: stood outside waiting for her to get out. Her friends

788
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: from the game had a group chat that they had

789
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 2: been constantly texting in since the game. At dinner, She

790
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 2: talked more about how much fun they had and how

791
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 2: it was one of the best nights ever. I had

792
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 2: watched the game from home and it really was a

793
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: great game. The next day, her friends were coming over

794
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 2: to see her new place. I spent all day with her,

795
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: helping her get it ready and hanging out. Nothing seemed

796
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 2: out of the ordinary. I left to go home while

797
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 2: she stayed to hang out with her friends. When I

798
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 2: got back later, I asked her how the night went

799
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 2: and if they liked her place. She told me that

800
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: one of the girls who was at the game had

801
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: told another friend that my girlfriend had met this guy.

802
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 2: She said that friend was freaking out that she had

803
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 2: met him and was jokingly telling her to follow up

804
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: so they could get tickets or connections for everyone. I

805
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 2: asked my girlfriend how she even follow up with him

806
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: since she had no way to contact him. That's when

807
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 2: she admitted they'd exchanged numbers. She said she didn't even

808
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: save his number, it was just in her recent calls.

809
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 2: She explained that she gave him her number and he

810
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 2: called her so she'd have his. I was confused and

811
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 2: her about why she wouldn't mention this detail when we

812
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: had talked about this game so much. I asked her

813
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 2: why she didn't tell me, and her explanations kept changing,

814
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 2: first saying she forgot to mention it, then accusing me

815
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: of probably doing this all the time, then claiming she

816
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,879
Speaker 2: didn't think it was a big deal. I told her

817
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,760
Speaker 2: I needed space to think things through and went home.

818
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: The next afternoon, she texted me and wanted to talk,

819
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: so I went over to her place. I asked her

820
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 2: the same questions as the night before, and she gave

821
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 2: me the same answers. Her explanations weren't making sense, so

822
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 2: we talked for almost two hours about that. One point,

823
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 2: she finally admitted that she just didn't want to tell

824
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: me about it. I asked if her and her friends

825
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 2: had talked about the interaction in the group chat. She

826
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 2: said she didn't remember, since there had been so many messages.

827
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 2: At first, I asked if she could look through to

828
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: see if there was anything about it, but she didn't

829
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 2: want to. She said it violated principles about privacy and

830
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: going through phones.

831
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 4: It's the last message, I guarantee you. The most recent

832
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 4: message is Ugh. He always coming over about the player

833
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 4: that I love talking to because he's like he's a

834
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 4: sports ball player, and you know he's pretty popular.

835
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,320
Speaker 2: After hours of back and forth, I decided I needed

836
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: to see the messages. She made me feel like I

837
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 2: was intruding on her privacy by asking to see them,

838
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 2: or that I was being controlling. She finally and reluctantly

839
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 2: showed me the chat. She made it seem like this

840
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 2: was the end, that all the truth was out, that

841
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: there was nothing there, and that I was being irrational.

842
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 2: I noticed a message saying she had changed the group photo.

843
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,360
Speaker 2: She showed me what she claimed was the deleted picture,

844
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 2: just a group shot with the guy barely visible in

845
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 2: the background. There wasn't anything notable in the chat, but

846
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 2: because she had been acting so strange, I felt like

847
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,439
Speaker 2: there had to be more. Before handing her phone back,

848
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,720
Speaker 2: I quickly opened the deleted messages section, and it showed

849
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 2: she had deleted messages from the chat right before I

850
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 2: came over. I didn't see what they were because she

851
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 2: grabbed her phone back and said she had already restored them.

852
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: She claimed there were only three and that she had

853
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 2: changed the photo to avoid drawing attention to it being deleted.

854
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 4: So why are we lying again? So why do we

855
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 4: continuously lie?

856
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 2: One of the messages said my name as an opie's

857
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 2: name is gonna be like who is that guy? Which

858
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 2: made no sense for a casual group photo. I was

859
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 2: and upset and left because we weren't making any progress.

860
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 2: Later that night, she texted me again and said she

861
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 2: wanted to talk, so I went back over. It seemed

862
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 2: like she was finally ready to be honest. She admitted

863
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 2: that she'd shown me a fake picture earlier. The real

864
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 2: one was apparently just her and him together with one

865
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 2: of the friends barely in frame. Then more truth came out.

866
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 2: He had texted her that night inviting them to a party,

867
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 2: which she said they didn't go to. The Next day,

868
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: she said her friends pressured her to send him a

869
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 2: photo of the three of them, which she did. This

870
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:36,240
Speaker 2: contradicted her earlier claim that they had never communicated. After

871
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,280
Speaker 2: she mentioned having a boyfriend, she said her friends pressured

872
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: her and that they went along with it because they

873
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 2: were having fun. Her explanation was that she was anxious

874
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 2: and scared I'd break up with her. She said she

875
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 2: has trauma from her parents promising no consequences for honesty

876
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 2: and then punishing her anyway, and that she reverted to

877
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 2: that pattern I told her we should break up. She

878
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 2: broke down completely.

879
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 4: I like how she He's like, okay, so I'm coming

880
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 4: clean now, right.

881
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 2: He never promised you no consequence after.

882
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 4: Like all these things, I have this trauma, and like, so,

883
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 4: don't get upset. You promise not to get upset? Do

884
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 4: you promise not to get upset? Sure, You've already lied

885
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 4: to me ten times. I'm already upset. I want to

886
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 4: get more upset. So, like, this is what's happening, gurly pop. First,

887
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 4: your your ex girlfriend. Now she needs some therapy for that.

888
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 4: But if she's using that as like an excuse to

889
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 4: hide things from you, eh, you were given she was

890
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 4: given multiple chances to come clean, and she gave you

891
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 4: so many lame excuses and even said you do it too.

892
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 4: You were given a Like you were given the chance,

893
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 4: and you lied like five times in a row. And

894
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,879
Speaker 4: then you're like, I'll come clean now, right, I won't

895
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 4: get any consequences for not lying. For lying. Sorry.

896
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: She broke down completely, saying we were meant to be

897
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 2: together forever, that she wanted to marry me and have kids.

898
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: She was very apologetic. She took my keys and wouldn't

899
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 2: give them back. For a while. I think she was

900
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 2: just in shock and not thinking clearly. She kept asking

901
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 2: for grace. One mistake two years in treating all the

902
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: lying as a single error instead of a pattern. We

903
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 2: were supposed to leave the next day for a two

904
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 2: week work trip together. She wanted to talk before I left,

905
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: but I told her I needed space. I went on

906
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 2: the trip alone and haven't contacted her for the past week. Yeah,

907
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 2: I think you guys should stay broken up.

908
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 4: Unfortunately, I feel like even though it could have been

909
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 4: way worse, she could have done more. It's bad. It's

910
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 4: all bad, even like tiny little eyes like that, they

911
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 4: just add up. And the fact that you can, like

912
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 4: one hundred percent tell she's not being fully honest or

913
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 4: up front and she's still being weird about it. You

914
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 4: gave her so many chances like, hey, you can come clean,

915
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 4: come clean, like tell me the truth, and you Ston'tanna

916
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:01,959
Speaker 4: tell me the truth? All right, we'll play this game.

917
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was lying about it. She clearly knew it

918
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 2: was wrong to do.

919
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

920
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 2: I don't think she would act on something like this

921
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,240
Speaker 2: or do something like it in the future. I want

922
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: to forgive her and trust her, but I am having

923
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 2: a really hard time. It's difficult to believe there aren't

924
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 2: more things she hasn't told me, and it's hard to

925
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 2: process how she could lie to my face for hours

926
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 2: while I was begging for the truth. Could use some advice,

927
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 2: and we have some comments. Comment one. It can be

928
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 2: hard when you truly love the person you are with.

929
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 2: I was with a woman that in the end was

930
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,959
Speaker 2: incredibly harmful, but she slowly turned up the pressure over

931
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 2: four years. I was like the frog in the slowly

932
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 2: boiling pot of water. It is harder to see when

933
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: you are in the middle of it and your feelings

934
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: want the connection to work. That is why he is

935
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: here to get outside perspective, you know. Advice to the

936
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 2: op don't let yourself be treated like this, Love yourself

937
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 2: and demand better from others. There are people out there

938
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 2: that understand love and relationships aren't transactions. Your girlfriend seems

939
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 2: like the sort of person that will leave you if

940
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 2: she gets a better deal, so to speak. Let her

941
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 2: find one and move on. Comment to two. Note that

942
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 2: the lies and contradictions are continuing. It's both a pattern

943
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: but also a single error, depending on what she's trying

944
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: to convince you of. It's both peer pressure but also fun,

945
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 2: and she just didn't want to tell you. It's also

946
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 2: the fear you'd leave, but also not wanting to stop

947
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 2: even though she easily could. It was the reality. It

948
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 2: was not the one mistake in two years. Note that

949
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,760
Speaker 2: every single lie she told since she met him, both

950
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 2: direct and through a mission, is a new mistake. She's

951
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: made hundreds thousands of mistakes since then. And that's assuming

952
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 2: that you've actually arrived at the reality of what happened.

953
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 2: And I mean, I don't believe that's all of it.

954
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 2: I doubt you do either. The reality is that it

955
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 2: took nothing for her to act this way. Someone mildly

956
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 2: interesting approached her, and she's spiraled into a gossipy affair instantly.

957
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,479
Speaker 2: She's either spy, tameless, indulgent, or both, and her entire

958
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 2: friendship circle is toxic and hostile towards you by actively

959
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 2: enabling her cheating. So it's sad, but you've discovered you

960
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 2: two are more different than you hoped, and she's now

961
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 2: got plenty of things to go to therapy to deal with.

962
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. Hey, it's John rog

963
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: Host here.

964
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to the stories.

965
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 3: But here's a quick three minute break of ass from

966
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 3: our sponsors.

967
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 4: My boyfriend said his wedding was canceled, but now he's

968
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:27,760
Speaker 4: getting married in three days.

969
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 2: Are you not also part of that wedding?

970
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 4: In January this year, I female twenty five, met someone

971
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 4: male twenty seven, who I clicked with instantly. He was

972
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 4: at the time the new owner of the restaurant slash

973
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 4: pub I work at and still is. And from the

974
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 4: moment we met, there was an instant connection. He was sweet, attentive,

975
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 4: kind and so loving and we get so much in

976
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 4: common and just everything I thought I wanted in a

977
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 4: potential partner. By the way, this comes from user Babe

978
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 4: B forty five. I mean you asbmit your own stories

979
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 4: go to they are slash okay, storytime suppurd it. I'm

980
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 4: ke On, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good

981
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 4: advice goofily, But we don't have all the answers. We

982
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 4: only know what we do, So let us know what

983
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 4: you'd do in the comments, Opie says. But a month

984
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 4: into dating, he opened up about his ex partner, who

985
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 4: he also has a five year old child with. He

986
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 4: told me that she had cheated on him multiple times

987
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 4: and they had split up around October of twenty twenty

988
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 4: four because of that and a fair few other issues.

989
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 4: He also mentioned that they were supposed to get married

990
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 4: this October. On the eighteenth. Things between us started to

991
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 4: get rocky around March. I wonder why. He told me

992
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 4: that he was unhappy with his life and that things

993
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 4: hadn't gone the way he wanted. And after that he

994
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 4: started pulling away emotionally, and we had a few discussions

995
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 4: about where we were going to go from there, but

996
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 4: things remained somewhat hopeful. Sometimes he'd canceled dates or change

997
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 4: plans that we had, but his reasoning was always his son,

998
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 4: so I had no choice but to be understanding, and

999
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 4: of course I wanted to be. Even though he left

1000
00:50:56,680 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 4: me alone in a hotel room for three hours on

1001
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 4: my birthday, it was so hard to even see him

1002
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 4: in general anyway, because he was so busy throughout March, April,

1003
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 4: and the majority of May. He'd come back and tell

1004
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 4: me he missed me, pulled me close again, only then

1005
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 4: to pull away again. It was like an emotional roller

1006
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 4: coaster ride with him twenty four to seven, and I

1007
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 4: never ever knew where I stood or what he really

1008
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 4: wanted out of us. By late August or early September,

1009
00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 4: I started to really question where I stood with him.

1010
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 4: It had been nine months by this point, and he

1011
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 4: still hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend. In fact,

1012
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 4: he explicitly said we weren't together once or twice without

1013
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 4: me even bringing it up. When I asked why.

1014
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 5: He told me he wasn't ready, that things were complicated

1015
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 5: because of.

1016
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 4: His son, and that if his ex found out about me,

1017
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 4: so he'd stop him from seeing his son. Eventually, I

1018
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 4: couldn't handle the confusion or emotional back and forth anymore,

1019
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 4: so we decided to call things off, but with the

1020
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 4: mutual understanding that we'd both work on our own issues,

1021
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 4: such as him going to therapy for his anxieties, and

1022
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 4: we would reconnect in the future and come back healthier.

1023
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 4: Fast forward to now. Last week. On Wednesday, the eighth

1024
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 4: of October, I started having this gut feeling something about

1025
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 4: the supposed wedding date just didn't sit right with me

1026
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 4: anymore at all. I saw him at work with some

1027
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 4: friends for a drink that evening, and out of the blue,

1028
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 4: he mentioned booking off the weekend of the eighteenth to

1029
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 4: spend time with his son. He never said that before,

1030
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 4: or really ever mentioned his weekend plans unless I asked him.

1031
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 4: So I asked him directly, please be honest, is something

1032
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 4: going on that weekend? He looked me, passed away in

1033
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 4: the eye and said, no, the wedding wasn't that day,

1034
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,439
Speaker 4: and I knew that wasn't true. We got into quite

1035
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 4: an argument over it, where he said he loved me,

1036
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 4: but he doesn't know how he feels anymore, that he's confused,

1037
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 4: that he doesn't know what to do about anything anymore,

1038
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 4: and he'll and he genuinely looked like a shell of

1039
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 4: a human that night. That same night, he drove me

1040
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 4: home and kissed me, Eh, why did you kiss him?

1041
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 4: Kiss me before I got out of his car, which,

1042
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,479
Speaker 4: in hindsight was wrong of me to let happen. Okay, good,

1043
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 4: you know was wrongs.

1044
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 2: Still mostly on him, but yeah.

1045
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 4: Fast forward to yesterday, the fourteenth of October. I still

1046
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 4: couldn't shake the feeling at all, and I did some

1047
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 4: digging and found her Spotify profile where there was a

1048
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 4: newly created wedding playlist in my heart sank. I ended

1049
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,720
Speaker 4: up trying to find whatever I could online and on socials,

1050
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 4: and ended up finding and calling the venue, pretending to

1051
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 4: be a family friend sending a card, and they confirmed

1052
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 4: it was them. He's getting married in three days, a

1053
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 4: month after we called things off. I was, and still am,

1054
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 4: absolutely crushed. I confronted him immediately over text, and he

1055
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 4: told me again that his fiance or whatever she is

1056
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 4: to him, is controlling and nasty, and it's threatened to

1057
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 4: stop him from seeing his son if this wedding doesn't

1058
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 4: go ahead. He said she's been pressuring him for months,

1059
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 4: unbeknownst to me, and that her father has so she's

1060
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 4: using that as another reason to push forward. I asked

1061
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 4: why he wouldn't go to court if things were really

1062
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 4: that bad, but he didn't have any reasonable answer other

1063
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 4: than he thinks it would be miserable for him if

1064
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 4: the only way for him to be able to see

1065
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 4: his son were to go to court, and that children

1066
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 4: with single parents are miserable. He said all of his

1067
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 4: friends and family dislike her, and that he feels trapped

1068
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,479
Speaker 4: in that she has a hold on him. On the phone,

1069
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 4: he begged me not to tell her, saying it would

1070
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 4: ruin everything and she'd stop him from seeing his son.

1071
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 4: He told me he loves me and misses me. And

1072
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 4: that he wishes things could have been different booo, but

1073
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 4: that he's scared and feels stuck. I loved him so

1074
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 4: much and I really believed we had something genuine. Now

1075
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 4: I just feel disgusted, betrayed, and completely lost. I don't

1076
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 4: even know who to talk to you, because I've never

1077
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 4: met anybody else in a situation like this before. I

1078
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 4: don't know what to do. Do I tell her? Do

1079
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 4: I believe him when he says he's going to be

1080
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 4: forced into this or is that just another layer of

1081
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 4: lies to keep me quiet? I feel like I've lost

1082
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 4: my grip on what's real, and I'm really really struggling mentally.

1083
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 4: All I have done is cry for the past twenty

1084
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 4: four hours. I also feel like if I do tell

1085
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 4: her and he has been she court would favor her argument,

1086
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 4: and then he would really get to see his son less,

1087
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 4: and that is not his child's fault and not something

1088
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 4: he asked for at all. But that's also the consequences

1089
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 4: of his actions. If this is really going to be

1090
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 4: like something on your shoulders ope and really bothering you

1091
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 4: of like, what is this? What is reality? What is real?

1092
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 4: What is it? I think just cleaning your slate of

1093
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 4: like talking to her about this because you're only getting

1094
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 4: one side of the story. Sorry, Like, yeah, the fact

1095
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 4: that he dragged he dragged you into this, You're gonna

1096
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 4: drag You're gonna drag yourself out of this.

1097
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I stand by. Stop. Let's just get out of there.

1098
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:39,959
Speaker 2: Let's get out of there.

1099
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 4: We have some comments, let's get straight into it. Please

1100
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 4: tell her the work to get divorces tedious in draining.

1101
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 4: Please compile your evidence and tell her. Tell her so

1102
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 4: the fiance can decide for herself. This is so sad

1103
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 4: for her. OMG, I always cheated to you in the

1104
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 4: past relationship. The heartbreak is unbearable at first, but now

1105
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 4: I'm happily married to a loyal, honest man. Please give

1106
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 4: her a choice and tell her and say you're sorry

1107
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 4: for the hurt and that you didn't know he was engaged.

1108
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 4: He's such an a hole and there's an update. All

1109
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 4: I want to do is ask her and really find

1110
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 4: out the truth. I really, really do. He just kept

1111
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 4: saying over and over again that all his son is

1112
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,720
Speaker 4: is the only thing that matters to him, and losing

1113
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 4: access to him would break his heart. It makes me

1114
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 4: feel so guilty he's also still my boss, and I

1115
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 4: feel like I'll lose my job instantly if I go

1116
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 4: against him, and I'm aware that sounds selfish, but I

1117
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,879
Speaker 4: can't currently afford to lose my job too. Update two.

1118
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 4: I do want to tell her the truth, but I'm

1119
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 4: going to take the time to look for professional advice first,

1120
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 4: and he's also my direct employer and this isn't a

1121
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 4: large company with an HR department. But also look for

1122
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 4: a new job asap. There's a little bit left.

1123
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 2: I've got nothing else to add my advice stance.

1124
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 4: Even if you do tell his wife, isn't that a

1125
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 4: conflict of like work and stuff? Like if he fired you.

1126
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,879
Speaker 2: Just because of that, here you get fire you because

1127
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,800
Speaker 2: of that? Yeah, I stand by try to get a

1128
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 2: different jobs.

1129
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 4: Still, if he does fire you, I'm pretty sure you

1130
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:06,799
Speaker 4: can sue. Uh.

1131
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not allowed to fire you from that. That's

1132
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 2: outside your job. He could certainly find other ways and

1133
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:14,879
Speaker 2: do it really like manipulatively and still try to get

1134
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 2: around that. But ultimately, if you can, if you can

1135
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 2: afford to quit and find another job, when you can

1136
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 2: do that.

1137
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 4: Then go ah, let's go ahead and finish up the story.

1138
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 4: I just want to make sure I handle everything the

1139
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 4: right way and protect myself before I decide what to

1140
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 4: do next. The only feeling I can't shake is that

1141
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 4: this will affect a little boy who never asked to

1142
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 4: be a part of this. I also want to add

1143
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 4: that I was completely blindsided by this and did not

1144
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 4: know that he was still engaged. He told me it

1145
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 4: was called off and that they were completely over. Where

1146
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 4: do I even go from here? Comments comment number one.

1147
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 4: She's so selfish she wants to find another job and

1148
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 4: wait for him to explain himself some more. I feel

1149
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 4: like she knew but didn't want to admit it because

1150
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 4: she likes him so much. Coming number two, I think

1151
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 4: it's normal for her to fear retaliation in this situation

1152
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 4: because he's her boss and it's a small company with

1153
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 4: no HR so no one to hold him immediately accountable.

1154
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 4: It just makes up some cover excuse and tries to

1155
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 4: fire over it. Her naivete got herself into this mess,

1156
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 4: so at least she's thinking about her consequences now. Coming

1157
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 4: number three. The thing is that she works at a bar.

1158
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:24,280
Speaker 4: Anywhere in the country is pretty easy to go get

1159
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 4: another job and another restaurant. I completely understand if it's

1160
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 4: a more difficult position to find, but it's not. Also,

1161
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 4: she could get a different type of job in the

1162
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 4: meantime until she finds something else that she likes more.

1163
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 4: In the end, she should have thought about this before

1164
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 4: sleeping with her boss Boom.

1165
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, I think at that point though, there's a

1166
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 2: whole other conversation about power plays and dynamics within the

1167
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 2: workplace kind of thing that we just don't even need

1168
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 2: to get into.

1169
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 4: But I mean, yeah, immediately when I saw that for

1170
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 4: a sentence, you saw me goes go ooh, that's not

1171
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 4: that you don't do that. You know, you don't crap

1172
00:58:58,600 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 4: where you eat kind of thing.

1173
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't work with your partners.

1174
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 4: But uh, that is the end of that story.