WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: Am I Stupid for Sticking Around? 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:04.439 If you would like to have us answer your questions. 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:07.880 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:10.480 a terrible throuffle, guess what. 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.920 You've got decisions? You've got decision. 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:20.079 That that was like dingle from like you got mail, 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.800 Like I feel like we gotta have somebody do that. 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:26.040 Like that was good. What do y'all do? 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:31.160 Y'all y'all creat about the somebody give us a goddamn jingles. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:34.040 Got up to Luke and he has a Grammy? 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:37.559 Now Luke for real? Oh Mike, Yeah, I think he. 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:41.480 Has a Grammy and he made our Yeah, you didn't 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.000 know he had a Grammy? Do we still start that week? 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:44.800 No, we don't. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:46.920 We did a new one, by the way, in our hoes. 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.159 Have you listened to it? It's like us giggling, and 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:55.560 I was like, oh my god, girl, you gotta intro 0:00:56.280 --> 0:01:00.880 of decision decisions of decision decisions on the audio. You're 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:06.840 gonna have to skip about six select bro, Bro, go 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:07.960 listen to it. 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:12.640 It's not bad. It's not bad, bro. It's so actually 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.240 welcome to the decisions decision. I don't think we should 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:16.959 say this like that. 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:22.720 Listen, you definitely say it welcome, Welcome to the new party. 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:27.280 I mean you want to say together decision. Hey, guys, 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.560 I love them to another episode. Bro, that's our intro. 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:33.560 That, by the way, you listening for the first time 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:35.479 and me just finding out over the holidays. 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.840 That's how our shows start. I think we need a 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:38.320 new intro. 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:44.680 BRO. I wait, how long has it been like this? 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:45.080 Bro? 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.480 I think Dwayne made it and he had to use 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:59.800 our bloopers. Bro, you know we sell gross. This is 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:07.440 how our podcast starts, y'all. They said, you say welcome, welcome, 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:09.280 decisions decisions and we could. 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.880 Talk to someone. I hate it. We gotta talk to 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:13.600 Black Effects immediately. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:14.760 Okay, wait, let. 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:19.920 Me do it. Now, make a decision, Mandy. Wait, but 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:24.400 what's my life? Then you gotta be like decisions decision? 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:25.200 No. 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.800 I want to say, were not making horrible decisions? 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:28.120 No more. 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:30.799 No, I thought. 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:37.160 Decisions decisions was like when you're like decisions decisions y'all. 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:38.639 We might need a jingle for that too. 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.440 On this, we need to revamp while we're in this 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:42.760 good creative spirit together. 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:44.440 We have to revamp all of our ship. 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:49.560 But I'm an agreeance because this this is not okay. 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.840 Dog, I heard that but it's because my uber driver 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:55.960 played it because he wanted to know what I was. 0:02:56.400 --> 0:03:00.000 So I told him to listen to the the here 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:03.080 the way the roomber driver didn't know you, but asked bright. 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:04.919 And then decided to play it in the car while 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:07.880 I was there. So I'm listening to it and I said, now, 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:09.240 what the fuck is this intro? 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:16.000 I hate it? Sorry, Dwayne, I know you're listening to 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.920 put this out? I fucking hated is listening? Has he 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:24.040 listened to anything? Because the cdium was like fi bro, 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:25.240 I hated it. You know what? 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:28.920 This is why you can't give like sometimes two people 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:30.079 get a little too creative. 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.600 Nigga heard the Bluebird was like, let me blend this up. 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:37.720 No bruh, So our music that used to be yeah, 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:38.800 none of that's their No mo. 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:40.640 We need this is not cool. 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:42.920 We need to look up like an R and B 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.320 singer that has the word decisions in a song and 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.520 be like, hey, yo, could we use that because y'all 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.920 don't know. We never asked Juicy J, but luckily he 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:53.200 never came after us. I ripped that bitch. I ripped 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:57.000 that straight from and then my homeboy was like, yeah, 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:57.600 you know that's. 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:59.720 Juicy J and I was like, when I took it 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:05.480 from you, you whatever, as in the juice man Gucci, No. 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:11.839 Not, I know, Okay, the nigga on one hand, I didn't 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:15.160 know we bought racial so we got one hair right. Yeah. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.799 But like I made a huge mistake today and thought 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:22.600 that Ruth Gater, Ruth Bader Gator, I thought she was 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:24.200 a white woman, but she was Jewish. 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.160 I thought she was a black woman. I'm sorry, oh, 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:27.840 I was Jewish is white. 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.080 I thought she was like giving Rosa Parks fair skin, 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:39.520 But no, she's white Hwish. It's only because so I said, 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:42.479 I think Crystal in this video of this husband trying 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.599 to figure out like you know, the slide shows that 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:46.920 you give people and they got to guess who the 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.120 people is. So I told Chris, so I bet you 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:52.560 don't know these white people. So it got to to 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:55.840 Ruth Gator, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and she was like that 0:04:56.000 --> 0:05:04.400 nigga don't know Judge Judy, I said, that is anyway 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:09.400 I thought Ruth was black. Hole. I thought I knew 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.560 she was for the people, so I just thought she 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.960 was black. Making strides at differences with you know, abortion 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:17.600 rights out here anyway. 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.160 I mean, I appreciate that you saw Ruth was a 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:24.039 black lady because of how impactful she was. Guy, there 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.800 we go, But the full name doesn't give what's supposed 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:27.520 to be gays. 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:30.960 First off, our names come from slave masters. I just 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.400 thought that's where her lineage took her. 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:38.400 Okay, fair, that's fair, that's fair. We'll take that. Okay. Anyways, 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:42.120 if y'all want to send us a question about your 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:43.800 raggedy life. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:47.240 Bitch, send that shit over to decisious spot at gmail 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:51.360 dot com. Because y'all's letters are like housewives to be. 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.640 It reminds me that shit ain't that bad over here. 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.960 So I appreciate these letters every single week. I'm not 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:00.000 gonna hold you. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.440 Sometimes the letters do make me feel like like I 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.400 literally said to my nigga and dab he was an argument. 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:06.640 I was like, you know what, it's bitches in my 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:08.800 email talking about my man got another bat. 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.560 I was like, we were my nigga's not that bad. 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.320 Ain't that man not that bad? At least you gonna 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:14.880 know what the baby. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:16.840 But now at this point, since the bitch knew him 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.200 two years, like she said, last week, okay go go sorry. 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:21.000 Well this one. 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:25.720 Literally, the subject line is, am I stupid for sticking around? 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.080 So nine times out of tended? 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:28.160 You? 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:31.479 Yea yeah? But all right, come on, sister, let's let's 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:32.919 let's let's let's help her out. 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.720 All right, here we go, Hello, just for some contacts. 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.320 I'm a thirty one year old black woman. I need 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.880 to know if I'm done for sticking around, because according 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:41.880 to my friends, I am. 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.200 But your friends could be haters. So we're here to 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:45.400 see if they're writer or not. 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.560 In June of twenty twenty five, I decided to shoot 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.679 my shot at an old high school friend. 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.760 Well, he was more of my brother's friend than mine. 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.159 I thought he was so cute back then, and he 0:06:56.320 --> 0:07:00.520 still find as hell now. I Oh lord, I took 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:01.320 him on a date. 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:06.120 Jesus in Mandy put her hand over her mouth like 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:10.680 something smelled bad. I took him on a date and 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:14.840 stated that my intentions were pure and genuine. What girl? 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:15.960 This is what she said. 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:18.760 I told him that I wanted to see where this 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:22.040 goes because I could see us being together. Oh told 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:25.080 me about his trauma from his past relationship and that 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:29.400 he's still healing. I understood because I had to heal 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:33.280 from a five year situation. So to the present moment, 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.160 We've been dating really heavy for the past few months 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:40.240 and everything is going great. We spent holidays together, we 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:43.760 met each other's family, and now Valentine's Day is approaching 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.560 and my friends are wondering when he is going to 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:50.200 ask me to be his girlfriend. Me and him have 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:54.040 had countless conversations about what it is that we are doing. 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:56.680 To be honest, he still is a lot going on 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.960 that he needs to work on, and I've been understanding, 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:03.880 even helping him work through some of the things. We 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:06.440 know that everything takes time and we just want to 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.119 take things slow. But my friends are making me feel 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.240 bad because he has yet to ask me to be 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.680 his girlfriend. Yes, I would like to be his girlfriend 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.080 and much more, and I really am trying to be 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:20.120 patient with him, But like, come on, nigga, does it 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.400 really take six plus months to figure out. 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:23.600 If you want to be with someone? 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.960 And maybe I'm too understanding, but I don't mind what 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:28.080 we have going on now. 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:29.640 We go on frequent dates. 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:34.560 Hell, we even travel together. Our sex is amazing, don't 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:38.640 they other people? Our families get along literally doing everything 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:40.600 a couple does. But why do I have to feel 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.560 so pressured to even put a title on it. Maybe 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:45.960 it's the Scorpio and me because I love hard and 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.720 get jealous from time to time. Sorry, Mandy, I know 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.640 you don't like the stars and moons talk lol, But 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.760 I really want him to be mine. But I'm also 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.400 willing to stick around and be patient with him. But 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.600 how long is too long before I become stupid? 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:13.640 Thanks? Love you both, Eh, I'm gonna let you go first. 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:19.000 Gleasie who Okay? 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:23.920 First off, do you think being stupid? 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.760 I don't think you're stupid. I would never call a 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:32.160 woman stupid for that. But what I would say, you 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:36.360 like him more than he likes you. Ooh, and he 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:42.520 knows it, he feels it, he knows it. Sometimes the 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:46.280 way you start shit is the way shit ends. When 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.080 shit starts fucked up, it ends fucked up. I've said 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.600 that a lot on the show, and I think to 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:55.440 get to the point where a man lets you take 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:56.680 him out, now. 0:09:56.559 --> 0:10:00.600 This is not oh don't stay there, so. 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.480 Okay, because I am if a nigga really fucked with you, 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.480 their ego is not gonna nitch you take him on 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.760 the first day, not the first It's different now, I 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:12.680 think once you've been kicking it with somebody picking up 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:13.400 the checking, shit is. 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:16.720 Cute, right, Like teamwork is a very normal. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.200 Thing in relationship. Fifty to fifty is very normal. But 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.480 there's something about the courting a man which led me, 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.320 leads me to believe you're gonna have to ask that 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:26.559 nigga to be your boyfriend. 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:28.840 You gonna have to get on one, Nieces. 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:31.120 I don't know if he's ever gonna do it for 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.320 you because he knows how bad you want him, like 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.320 for you to say the things about my intentions and 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:39.600 this and that on a first date. It's just, even 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.880 though we are non traditional women, there's certain things that 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.480 we have to acknowledge and admit are traditionally not something 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:48.920 that goes on. So it's interesting that you did something 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.760 so non traditional but are expecting by Valentine's Day to 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.960 be someone's girlfriend. Sounds very traditional to me. Yeah, so 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:58.400 I'm not gonna hold you. One of my home boys 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.280 is gonna ask this girl the day Valancine's aby as girl? 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:05.840 Could it happened to you? Sure? Am I being pessimistic? Maybe? 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:07.120 But the reason I'm doing it. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:10.160 Is really because of how he was sought after in 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:14.800 terms of paying for things pretty much maybe the last 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:19.200 three relationships I've been in. I paid for things with 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:23.600 Old Bay. I paid for things with scissors. I paid 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:27.680 for things, you know, Like, I'm not dating like super 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.920 duper wealthy people. We just do well and we share 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:34.400 somethings sometimes with scissors. It was more fifty to fifty 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.559 with Old Bay and my current boyfriend, it's not I 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:41.480 would say, more like seventy five twenty five, which some 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.319 women even think that's too much. So I think it's 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.600 really all that you're comfortable with, right, So I'm not 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:50.160 trying to shade you for paying for something but you did. No, 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:54.360 I'm shaming her for like the pursuit. The pursuit just 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:58.160 feels a little bit like whoa and the fact that 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:00.560 you're like waiting on him to do this, saying I 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.520 just think you may be waiting a long time, And 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.199 I think it's because of how you set the tone. 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:07.160 When a man knows you want them that bad, they 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.040 know you'll stick around for a long time. So are 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:12.480 you stupid for dating six months without a title? No, 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:14.240 I actually think that's right around the time that my 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:15.559 boyfriend I committed. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:16.640 Well and I was very natural. 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:20.959 I was even gonna say, have you sat with what 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.920 this title means to you? Because you said that you're 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.240 feeling pressured to put a title on it because everyone 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:27.800 else around you is calling you stupid. 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:29.480 But are you happy? 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.080 Because what this is giving is you feel like you 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.600 are lacking something. So the fact that you had to say, 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.040 we travel together, we go on frequent dates, our sex 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.600 is amazing, we don't date other people, our families get along. 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.520 There's something in here that you're not telling us that 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.959 is missing from the commitment, which is why you're wanting that. 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.800 That's actually a great point because you're making the point 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:51.480 of like our families or this, and that we don't 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:53.319 date other people, like I don't. 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.480 Know, and is this a relationship or is it not? 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.719 And so what you're saying you're being pressured to put 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.800 a title on it, but really, realistically, sit with what 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:06.120 a title means to you, because it could mean something 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:10.800 different to you than your friends that are applying this pressure. 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.920 Are you comfortable? Do you do you feel secure? Is 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:15.079 it a security blanket? 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:15.360 Even? 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.760 Oh and let me tell you, friends will make. 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:22.000 You feel like shit about choices you make. 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:25.360 With the many you choose the fuck I didn't listen. 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.360 I told y'all in twenty twenty six. I ain't got 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.839 no opinions on the niggas y'all choose to suck and 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:33.520 fuck because it ain't my decision. 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:34.920 But if it was, it wouldn't be them. 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:38.199 Niggas, oh boy, because we decide we gonna suck and 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:42.040 fuck different niggas. I ain't gat really no opinion on 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.760 the nigga you suck because that you swallow don't make 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:45.200 me shit. 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:45.680 Okay. 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:47.360 I don't know if you guys could hear the drill 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.680 in the back, but the handyman are loving that. 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:55.280 But yeah, they so for me, it's it's weird because 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.440 if you've been with the fan for six months, I'm 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.960 curious too, do you refer to him as your boyfriend? 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.240 So I wonder if it's no, it's how. 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.400 I'll be calling niggas my boyfriend clearly, but no. When 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.440 I was, I mean, I still call my nigga my nigga. 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.040 But I made all these niggas be like you my boyfriend, right, 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.640 So I'm your girlfriend, you my boyfriend, and this is 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:20.720 what it is, just because now we got a responsibility 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:23.240 to one of them. 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.240 Well, but to be all I was started doing what 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.320 I was, started calling him my boyfriend, and see what 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:34.040 you do, especially if your families get along, I'd be likeyfriend, 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:38.400 I'm curious what your families if they're that intertwined what 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:42.000 they refer to y'all as. Because also there's a difference 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:45.880 between your families having been in the same space once 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:51.440 and the casualness of it to it being a common 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.400 thing that y'all's families just hang out. 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:55.000 I don't know. 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.600 Yeah, that that's interesting too, because family's meeting like I don't. 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:03.680 Know a just But also remember she said that, uh, 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.800 this nigga is her brother's friend. So bitch, is it 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:11.040 just he cool with your brother or is he cool 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:11.880 with your family? 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:15.720 Because why he doesn't date other people? I'm curious. 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.080 Ooh, this don't have her thinking heat out here. She 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.840 said they don't, so maybe they said they not. Oh okay, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.280 if he said I only want to date you, now 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:28.440 you know she didn't say that in the letter. This 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.720 is why we might need to be see, y'all need 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:34.320 to get a deeds bruh, I don't date other people. 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.960 But also she used that D word. I told y'all 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.840 in twenty twenty six. That word is so. 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.240 But is he fucking other people? Because maybe he don't 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.160 take other bitches on date and. 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:46.720 Take up on the phone with them, But is he 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.760 entertaining situationship wise with other bitches? 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.680 Like is it a conversation about. 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.120 I mean, she's vacationing and doing all this stuff with him, 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:58.840 so she sees that she's taking them both of his time. 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:01.360 So in vacation married man, what the fuck that mean? 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.760 We don't show it on a trip together. So you 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:13.280 the main you to mad. But I will tell you this. 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.000 I'm gonna be thirty five in a few months, and 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.800 what I will tell you that I have learned that. 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:20.400 I learned this. 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:24.640 At thirty boy, when a nigga wants you, is it loud? 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.240 It is loud, It's easy, Oh my god, it's loud. 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:34.920 It is so loud. I've learned that. Now I've like it. 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:40.440 Maybe took me to thirty four thirty five Voto seven. 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:44.720 Do I want anyone listening to this to not think 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:46.840 we're speaking to the woman that wrote the letter. But 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.440 I want you to listen to this just for any 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.840 situation you ever had from a man when it was 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:58.640 fucking confusing, when it's fucking confusing. There is either another 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:01.760 person or fleeting thought that they have about wanting to 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:04.720 get into relationship. It's not always you, it's just about 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:09.480 their alignment to what you're looking for. One thing I've noticed, 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.439 in particular the last two men I've ended up in 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.360 relationships with my current partner and my last both were 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:18.320 not looking for girlfriends. However, I could not tell from 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.880 how they engaged with me and the energy they had 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.560 for dating me, and both times I just kind of 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:26.360 wanted to fuck too. And then I hit a point 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.159 where I was like, well I want more, so I 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:32.200 think I'm good on this, and never was I let go, yeah, 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.280 and telling you, I have been situations where men let 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:38.120 me go and they were like, okay, cool, and this 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:39.560 is not me trying to flex and be like my 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.399 niggas wanted me. I have been on the other end 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:44.560 of where a guy was like, I'm not ready for 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:47.240 what you're looking for. However, I did end up in 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.960 the relationships with people that were looking for the same 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:53.280 I keep almost saying her name Scissors is one that 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.920 gave me that Sissus basically was like did dream about 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.320 to keep trying to fly me to New York and 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:01.640 come down door and blah blah blah, like the fuck 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.840 And I was like, okay, okay, well am, I ain't 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:10.239 gonna lose you. So And it wasn't even like I 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.560 wanted anyone else. I just was just doing whatever, you know, 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:16.040 I was bopping around. I'm twenty six when we started dating, Like, 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:21.840 I wasn't genuinely thinking like commitment, but she was. She's 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:23.679 a few years older than me, not by much, but 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:25.960 her brain was there where mine wasn't. 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:27.000 So it was easy. 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:30.439 I want to say, same night, same day conversation she 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:31.200 had with me was done. 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:35.880 Oh yeah, we together. So when people feel that for you, 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:39.119 when they don't want to lose you, David, bitch a. 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:41.280 You're not going a little bitch now. And I'm not 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:42.520 here for ultimatum. 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:48.400 But it's weird because I want you to want more 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.000 for yourself if you want a relationship. You see his 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:57.320 saying you willn't be patient until when until he go 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.840 out find somebody else he liked. And now you sit here, 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:04.879 sitting here with paint on your face, like, if you 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.160 want to be more with him, if y'all are going 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:11.840 about everything that entails a relationship, ask him what's holding 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:14.320 him up from the title. Then agreed, and then you 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.240 need to decide what you want. But it can't be 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:18.840 to just wait around for a man. 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:20.840 To choose you. You have to choose yourself. 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.680 And I think you know, we have such poor dating 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.199 experiences that we like to take leaps ourselves. So I 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.919 think asking a man out on a date isn't terrible 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:32.159 be like I want to, But I think offering to pay. 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:35.439 Is the way she said I took him out on 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:36.920 a date. She definitely paid. 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.399 So it was something about the language of like my 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:41.000 intentions and taking out. 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:43.760 I said, I want to be genuine and with intent 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:46.720 and yuh yeah, I think it's like I'm going to cover. 0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:48.080 I'm gonna like it's. 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:52.760 Like, oh okay, yeah, you're giving off that you like 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:53.879 him more and he's not. 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.080 He doesn't feel like he's in the risk of losing you. 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:02.399 Oh he's gonna say he's stay bringing you along until 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:03.119 you know. 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:05.879 This is also by the way, you wrote us for answers, 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:08.399 and I'll give you the immediate one. After all this 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:12.160 shade we've thrown you have a conversation with him, letting 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.520 him know like, hey, like my expectations of where we're going. 0:20:14.600 --> 0:20:16.120 Is that one up in a committed relationship? 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:18.080 Do you see that with me? Oop? 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:21.040 But I asked, that's what you got to ask me, 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:23.760 And you need to ask him that before Valentine's Day, bitch, 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:26.040 so that you have time to book that flight the 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:27.280 All Star weekend and get you. 0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:30.680