Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what.
Speaker 1: You've got decisions? You've got decision.
Speaker 3: That that was like dingle from like you got mail,
Speaker 3: Like I feel like we gotta have somebody do that.
Speaker 1: Like that was good. What do y'all do?
Speaker 3: Y'all y'all creat about the somebody give us a goddamn jingles.
Speaker 2: Got up to Luke and he has a Grammy?
Speaker 1: Now Luke for real? Oh Mike, Yeah, I think he.
Speaker 2: Has a Grammy and he made our Yeah, you didn't
Speaker 2: know he had a Grammy? Do we still start that week?
Speaker 1: No, we don't.
Speaker 3: We did a new one, by the way, in our hoes.
Speaker 3: Have you listened to it? It's like us giggling, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, girl, you gotta intro
Speaker 3: of decision decisions of decision decisions on the audio. You're
Speaker 3: gonna have to skip about six select bro, Bro, go
Speaker 3: listen to it.
Speaker 1: It's not bad. It's not bad, bro. It's so actually
Speaker 1: welcome to the decisions decision. I don't think we should
Speaker 1: say this like that.
Speaker 2: Listen, you definitely say it welcome, Welcome to the new party.
Speaker 1: I mean you want to say together decision. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I love them to another episode. Bro, that's our intro.
Speaker 3: That, by the way, you listening for the first time
Speaker 3: and me just finding out over the holidays.
Speaker 1: That's how our shows start. I think we need a
Speaker 1: new intro.
Speaker 2: BRO. I wait, how long has it been like this?
Speaker 1: Bro?
Speaker 3: I think Dwayne made it and he had to use
Speaker 3: our bloopers. Bro, you know we sell gross. This is
Speaker 3: how our podcast starts, y'all. They said, you say welcome, welcome,
Speaker 3: decisions decisions and we could.
Speaker 1: Talk to someone. I hate it. We gotta talk to
Speaker 1: Black Effects immediately.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, let.
Speaker 1: Me do it. Now, make a decision, Mandy. Wait, but
Speaker 1: what's my life? Then you gotta be like decisions decision?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I want to say, were not making horrible decisions?
Speaker 2: No more.
Speaker 1: No, I thought.
Speaker 2: Decisions decisions was like when you're like decisions decisions y'all.
Speaker 1: We might need a jingle for that too.
Speaker 3: On this, we need to revamp while we're in this
Speaker 3: good creative spirit together.
Speaker 1: We have to revamp all of our ship.
Speaker 2: But I'm an agreeance because this this is not okay.
Speaker 3: Dog, I heard that but it's because my uber driver
Speaker 3: played it because he wanted to know what I was.
Speaker 1: So I told him to listen to the the here
Speaker 1: the way the roomber driver didn't know you, but asked bright.
Speaker 3: And then decided to play it in the car while
Speaker 3: I was there. So I'm listening to it and I said, now,
Speaker 3: what the fuck is this intro?
Speaker 1: I hate it? Sorry, Dwayne, I know you're listening to
Speaker 1: put this out? I fucking hated is listening? Has he
Speaker 1: listened to anything? Because the cdium was like fi bro,
Speaker 1: I hated it. You know what?
Speaker 2: This is why you can't give like sometimes two people
Speaker 2: get a little too creative.
Speaker 1: Nigga heard the Bluebird was like, let me blend this up.
Speaker 3: No bruh, So our music that used to be yeah,
Speaker 3: none of that's their No mo.
Speaker 1: We need this is not cool.
Speaker 3: We need to look up like an R and B
Speaker 3: singer that has the word decisions in a song and
Speaker 3: be like, hey, yo, could we use that because y'all
Speaker 3: don't know. We never asked Juicy J, but luckily he
Speaker 3: never came after us. I ripped that bitch. I ripped
Speaker 3: that straight from and then my homeboy was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know that's.
Speaker 1: Juicy J and I was like, when I took it
Speaker 1: from you, you whatever, as in the juice man Gucci, No.
Speaker 3: Not, I know, Okay, the nigga on one hand, I didn't
Speaker 3: know we bought racial so we got one hair right. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But like I made a huge mistake today and thought
Speaker 3: that Ruth Gater, Ruth Bader Gator, I thought she was
Speaker 3: a white woman, but she was Jewish.
Speaker 1: I thought she was a black woman. I'm sorry, oh,
Speaker 1: I was Jewish is white.
Speaker 3: I thought she was like giving Rosa Parks fair skin,
Speaker 3: But no, she's white Hwish. It's only because so I said,
Speaker 3: I think Crystal in this video of this husband trying
Speaker 3: to figure out like you know, the slide shows that
Speaker 3: you give people and they got to guess who the
Speaker 3: people is. So I told Chris, so I bet you
Speaker 3: don't know these white people. So it got to to
Speaker 3: Ruth Gator, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and she was like that
Speaker 3: nigga don't know Judge Judy, I said, that is anyway
Speaker 3: I thought Ruth was black. Hole. I thought I knew
Speaker 3: she was for the people, so I just thought she
Speaker 3: was black. Making strides at differences with you know, abortion
Speaker 3: rights out here anyway.
Speaker 2: I mean, I appreciate that you saw Ruth was a
Speaker 2: black lady because of how impactful she was. Guy, there
Speaker 2: we go, But the full name doesn't give what's supposed
Speaker 2: to be gays.
Speaker 3: First off, our names come from slave masters. I just
Speaker 3: thought that's where her lineage took her.
Speaker 1: Okay, fair, that's fair, that's fair. We'll take that. Okay. Anyways,
Speaker 1: if y'all want to send us a question about your
Speaker 1: raggedy life.
Speaker 3: Bitch, send that shit over to decisious spot at gmail
Speaker 3: dot com. Because y'all's letters are like housewives to be.
Speaker 3: It reminds me that shit ain't that bad over here.
Speaker 3: So I appreciate these letters every single week. I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna hold you.
Speaker 2: Sometimes the letters do make me feel like like I
Speaker 2: literally said to my nigga and dab he was an argument.
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, it's bitches in my
Speaker 2: email talking about my man got another bat.
Speaker 1: I was like, we were my nigga's not that bad.
Speaker 1: Ain't that man not that bad? At least you gonna
Speaker 1: know what the baby.
Speaker 3: But now at this point, since the bitch knew him
Speaker 3: two years, like she said, last week, okay go go sorry.
Speaker 1: Well this one.
Speaker 3: Literally, the subject line is, am I stupid for sticking around?
Speaker 1: So nine times out of tended?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: Yea yeah? But all right, come on, sister, let's let's
Speaker 1: let's let's let's help her out.
Speaker 3: All right, here we go, Hello, just for some contacts.
Speaker 3: I'm a thirty one year old black woman. I need
Speaker 3: to know if I'm done for sticking around, because according
Speaker 3: to my friends, I am.
Speaker 1: But your friends could be haters. So we're here to
Speaker 1: see if they're writer or not.
Speaker 3: In June of twenty twenty five, I decided to shoot
Speaker 3: my shot at an old high school friend.
Speaker 1: Well, he was more of my brother's friend than mine.
Speaker 1: I thought he was so cute back then, and he
Speaker 1: still find as hell now. I Oh lord, I took
Speaker 1: him on a date.
Speaker 2: Jesus in Mandy put her hand over her mouth like
Speaker 2: something smelled bad. I took him on a date and
Speaker 2: stated that my intentions were pure and genuine. What girl?
Speaker 1: This is what she said.
Speaker 3: I told him that I wanted to see where this
Speaker 3: goes because I could see us being together. Oh told
Speaker 3: me about his trauma from his past relationship and that
Speaker 3: he's still healing. I understood because I had to heal
Speaker 3: from a five year situation. So to the present moment,
Speaker 3: We've been dating really heavy for the past few months
Speaker 3: and everything is going great. We spent holidays together, we
Speaker 3: met each other's family, and now Valentine's Day is approaching
Speaker 3: and my friends are wondering when he is going to
Speaker 3: ask me to be his girlfriend. Me and him have
Speaker 3: had countless conversations about what it is that we are doing.
Speaker 3: To be honest, he still is a lot going on
Speaker 3: that he needs to work on, and I've been understanding,
Speaker 3: even helping him work through some of the things. We
Speaker 3: know that everything takes time and we just want to
Speaker 3: take things slow. But my friends are making me feel
Speaker 3: bad because he has yet to ask me to be
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. Yes, I would like to be his girlfriend
Speaker 3: and much more, and I really am trying to be
Speaker 3: patient with him, But like, come on, nigga, does it
Speaker 3: really take six plus months to figure out.
Speaker 1: If you want to be with someone?
Speaker 3: And maybe I'm too understanding, but I don't mind what
Speaker 3: we have going on now.
Speaker 1: We go on frequent dates.
Speaker 3: Hell, we even travel together. Our sex is amazing, don't
Speaker 3: they other people? Our families get along literally doing everything
Speaker 3: a couple does. But why do I have to feel
Speaker 3: so pressured to even put a title on it. Maybe
Speaker 3: it's the Scorpio and me because I love hard and
Speaker 3: get jealous from time to time. Sorry, Mandy, I know
Speaker 3: you don't like the stars and moons talk lol, But
Speaker 3: I really want him to be mine. But I'm also
Speaker 3: willing to stick around and be patient with him. But
Speaker 3: how long is too long before I become stupid?
Speaker 1: Thanks? Love you both, Eh, I'm gonna let you go first.
Speaker 1: Gleasie who Okay?
Speaker 3: First off, do you think being stupid?
Speaker 2: I don't think you're stupid. I would never call a
Speaker 2: woman stupid for that. But what I would say, you
Speaker 2: like him more than he likes you. Ooh, and he
Speaker 2: knows it, he feels it, he knows it. Sometimes the
Speaker 2: way you start shit is the way shit ends. When
Speaker 2: shit starts fucked up, it ends fucked up. I've said
Speaker 2: that a lot on the show, and I think to
Speaker 2: get to the point where a man lets you take
Speaker 2: him out, now.
Speaker 1: This is not oh don't stay there, so.
Speaker 2: Okay, because I am if a nigga really fucked with you,
Speaker 2: their ego is not gonna nitch you take him on
Speaker 2: the first day, not the first It's different now, I
Speaker 2: think once you've been kicking it with somebody picking up
Speaker 2: the checking, shit is.
Speaker 1: Cute, right, Like teamwork is a very normal.
Speaker 2: Thing in relationship. Fifty to fifty is very normal. But
Speaker 2: there's something about the courting a man which led me,
Speaker 2: leads me to believe you're gonna have to ask that
Speaker 2: nigga to be your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: You gonna have to get on one, Nieces.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he's ever gonna do it for
Speaker 2: you because he knows how bad you want him, like
Speaker 2: for you to say the things about my intentions and
Speaker 2: this and that on a first date. It's just, even
Speaker 2: though we are non traditional women, there's certain things that
Speaker 2: we have to acknowledge and admit are traditionally not something
Speaker 2: that goes on. So it's interesting that you did something
Speaker 2: so non traditional but are expecting by Valentine's Day to
Speaker 2: be someone's girlfriend. Sounds very traditional to me. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold you. One of my home boys
Speaker 2: is gonna ask this girl the day Valancine's aby as girl?
Speaker 1: Could it happened to you? Sure? Am I being pessimistic? Maybe?
Speaker 1: But the reason I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: Is really because of how he was sought after in
Speaker 2: terms of paying for things pretty much maybe the last
Speaker 2: three relationships I've been in. I paid for things with
Speaker 2: Old Bay. I paid for things with scissors. I paid
Speaker 2: for things, you know, Like, I'm not dating like super
Speaker 2: duper wealthy people. We just do well and we share
Speaker 2: somethings sometimes with scissors. It was more fifty to fifty
Speaker 2: with Old Bay and my current boyfriend, it's not I
Speaker 2: would say, more like seventy five twenty five, which some
Speaker 2: women even think that's too much. So I think it's
Speaker 2: really all that you're comfortable with, right, So I'm not
Speaker 2: trying to shade you for paying for something but you did. No,
Speaker 2: I'm shaming her for like the pursuit. The pursuit just
Speaker 2: feels a little bit like whoa and the fact that
Speaker 2: you're like waiting on him to do this, saying I
Speaker 2: just think you may be waiting a long time, And
Speaker 2: I think it's because of how you set the tone.
Speaker 2: When a man knows you want them that bad, they
Speaker 2: know you'll stick around for a long time. So are
Speaker 2: you stupid for dating six months without a title? No,
Speaker 2: I actually think that's right around the time that my
Speaker 2: boyfriend I committed.
Speaker 1: Well and I was very natural.
Speaker 3: I was even gonna say, have you sat with what
Speaker 3: this title means to you? Because you said that you're
Speaker 3: feeling pressured to put a title on it because everyone
Speaker 3: else around you is calling you stupid.
Speaker 1: But are you happy?
Speaker 3: Because what this is giving is you feel like you
Speaker 3: are lacking something. So the fact that you had to say,
Speaker 3: we travel together, we go on frequent dates, our sex
Speaker 3: is amazing, we don't date other people, our families get along.
Speaker 3: There's something in here that you're not telling us that
Speaker 3: is missing from the commitment, which is why you're wanting that.
Speaker 2: That's actually a great point because you're making the point
Speaker 2: of like our families or this, and that we don't
Speaker 2: date other people, like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, and is this a relationship or is it not?
Speaker 3: And so what you're saying you're being pressured to put
Speaker 3: a title on it, but really, realistically, sit with what
Speaker 3: a title means to you, because it could mean something
Speaker 3: different to you than your friends that are applying this pressure.
Speaker 3: Are you comfortable? Do you do you feel secure? Is
Speaker 3: it a security blanket?
Speaker 2: Even?
Speaker 1: Oh and let me tell you, friends will make.
Speaker 2: You feel like shit about choices you make.
Speaker 3: With the many you choose the fuck I didn't listen.
Speaker 3: I told y'all in twenty twenty six. I ain't got
Speaker 3: no opinions on the niggas y'all choose to suck and
Speaker 3: fuck because it ain't my decision.
Speaker 1: But if it was, it wouldn't be them.
Speaker 3: Niggas, oh boy, because we decide we gonna suck and
Speaker 3: fuck different niggas. I ain't gat really no opinion on
Speaker 3: the nigga you suck because that you swallow don't make
Speaker 3: me shit.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys could hear the drill
Speaker 2: in the back, but the handyman are loving that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, they so for me, it's it's weird because
Speaker 3: if you've been with the fan for six months, I'm
Speaker 3: curious too, do you refer to him as your boyfriend?
Speaker 3: So I wonder if it's no, it's how.
Speaker 1: I'll be calling niggas my boyfriend clearly, but no. When
Speaker 1: I was, I mean, I still call my nigga my nigga.
Speaker 3: But I made all these niggas be like you my boyfriend, right,
Speaker 3: So I'm your girlfriend, you my boyfriend, and this is
Speaker 3: what it is, just because now we got a responsibility
Speaker 3: to one of them.
Speaker 2: Well, but to be all I was started doing what
Speaker 2: I was, started calling him my boyfriend, and see what
Speaker 2: you do, especially if your families get along, I'd be likeyfriend,
Speaker 2: I'm curious what your families if they're that intertwined what
Speaker 2: they refer to y'all as. Because also there's a difference
Speaker 2: between your families having been in the same space once
Speaker 2: and the casualness of it to it being a common
Speaker 2: thing that y'all's families just hang out.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that that's interesting too, because family's meeting like I don't.
Speaker 3: Know a just But also remember she said that, uh,
Speaker 3: this nigga is her brother's friend. So bitch, is it
Speaker 3: just he cool with your brother or is he cool
Speaker 3: with your family?
Speaker 1: Because why he doesn't date other people? I'm curious.
Speaker 3: Ooh, this don't have her thinking heat out here. She
Speaker 3: said they don't, so maybe they said they not. Oh okay,
Speaker 3: if he said I only want to date you, now
Speaker 3: you know she didn't say that in the letter. This
Speaker 3: is why we might need to be see, y'all need
Speaker 3: to get a deeds bruh, I don't date other people.
Speaker 3: But also she used that D word. I told y'all
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty six. That word is so.
Speaker 1: But is he fucking other people? Because maybe he don't
Speaker 1: take other bitches on date and.
Speaker 3: Take up on the phone with them, But is he
Speaker 3: entertaining situationship wise with other bitches?
Speaker 1: Like is it a conversation about.
Speaker 2: I mean, she's vacationing and doing all this stuff with him,
Speaker 2: so she sees that she's taking them both of his time.
Speaker 3: So in vacation married man, what the fuck that mean?
Speaker 3: We don't show it on a trip together. So you
Speaker 3: the main you to mad. But I will tell you this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be thirty five in a few months, and
Speaker 2: what I will tell you that I have learned that.
Speaker 1: I learned this.
Speaker 2: At thirty boy, when a nigga wants you, is it loud?
Speaker 2: It is loud, It's easy, Oh my god, it's loud.
Speaker 1: It is so loud. I've learned that. Now I've like it.
Speaker 1: Maybe took me to thirty four thirty five Voto seven.
Speaker 2: Do I want anyone listening to this to not think
Speaker 2: we're speaking to the woman that wrote the letter. But
Speaker 2: I want you to listen to this just for any
Speaker 2: situation you ever had from a man when it was
Speaker 2: fucking confusing, when it's fucking confusing. There is either another
Speaker 2: person or fleeting thought that they have about wanting to
Speaker 2: get into relationship. It's not always you, it's just about
Speaker 2: their alignment to what you're looking for. One thing I've noticed,
Speaker 2: in particular the last two men I've ended up in
Speaker 2: relationships with my current partner and my last both were
Speaker 2: not looking for girlfriends. However, I could not tell from
Speaker 2: how they engaged with me and the energy they had
Speaker 2: for dating me, and both times I just kind of
Speaker 2: wanted to fuck too. And then I hit a point
Speaker 2: where I was like, well I want more, so I
Speaker 2: think I'm good on this, and never was I let go, yeah,
Speaker 2: and telling you, I have been situations where men let
Speaker 2: me go and they were like, okay, cool, and this
Speaker 2: is not me trying to flex and be like my
Speaker 2: niggas wanted me. I have been on the other end
Speaker 2: of where a guy was like, I'm not ready for
Speaker 2: what you're looking for. However, I did end up in
Speaker 2: the relationships with people that were looking for the same
Speaker 2: I keep almost saying her name Scissors is one that
Speaker 2: gave me that Sissus basically was like did dream about
Speaker 2: to keep trying to fly me to New York and
Speaker 2: come down door and blah blah blah, like the fuck
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, okay, well am, I ain't
Speaker 2: gonna lose you. So And it wasn't even like I
Speaker 2: wanted anyone else. I just was just doing whatever, you know,
Speaker 2: I was bopping around. I'm twenty six when we started dating, Like,
Speaker 2: I wasn't genuinely thinking like commitment, but she was. She's
Speaker 2: a few years older than me, not by much, but
Speaker 2: her brain was there where mine wasn't.
Speaker 1: So it was easy.
Speaker 2: I want to say, same night, same day conversation she
Speaker 2: had with me was done.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we together. So when people feel that for you,
Speaker 1: when they don't want to lose you, David, bitch a.
Speaker 1: You're not going a little bitch now. And I'm not
Speaker 1: here for ultimatum.
Speaker 3: But it's weird because I want you to want more
Speaker 3: for yourself if you want a relationship. You see his
Speaker 3: saying you willn't be patient until when until he go
Speaker 3: out find somebody else he liked. And now you sit here,
Speaker 3: sitting here with paint on your face, like, if you
Speaker 3: want to be more with him, if y'all are going
Speaker 3: about everything that entails a relationship, ask him what's holding
Speaker 3: him up from the title. Then agreed, and then you
Speaker 3: need to decide what you want. But it can't be
Speaker 3: to just wait around for a man.
Speaker 1: To choose you. You have to choose yourself.
Speaker 2: And I think you know, we have such poor dating
Speaker 2: experiences that we like to take leaps ourselves. So I
Speaker 2: think asking a man out on a date isn't terrible
Speaker 2: be like I want to, But I think offering to pay.
Speaker 3: Is the way she said I took him out on
Speaker 3: a date. She definitely paid.
Speaker 2: So it was something about the language of like my
Speaker 2: intentions and taking out.
Speaker 1: I said, I want to be genuine and with intent
Speaker 1: and yuh yeah, I think it's like I'm going to cover.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like it's.
Speaker 3: Like, oh okay, yeah, you're giving off that you like
Speaker 3: him more and he's not.
Speaker 1: He doesn't feel like he's in the risk of losing you.
Speaker 1: Oh he's gonna say he's stay bringing you along until
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: This is also by the way, you wrote us for answers,
Speaker 2: and I'll give you the immediate one. After all this
Speaker 2: shade we've thrown you have a conversation with him, letting
Speaker 2: him know like, hey, like my expectations of where we're going.
Speaker 2: Is that one up in a committed relationship?
Speaker 1: Do you see that with me? Oop?
Speaker 3: But I asked, that's what you got to ask me,
Speaker 3: And you need to ask him that before Valentine's Day, bitch,
Speaker 3: so that you have time to book that flight the
Speaker 3: All Star weekend and get you.
Speaker 2: Know, Cammy, we did Cammy Crawford's pod and she said
Speaker 2: something about getting no.
Speaker 1: No, no, no she did. She said I'm getting married soon.
Speaker 1: She did. She was like, I don't have to notice,
Speaker 1: and you know what, yep, and she got that ring.
Speaker 2: I understand because I had a conversation when we were
Speaker 2: in Brazil where it was like, I don't know, maybe
Speaker 2: I've never said it like that before, Like I already
Speaker 2: knew what track I was on, but I was like, yeah, when, like,
Speaker 2: what gauge do you have because I'm gonna like, you know,
Speaker 2: my get like and it was.
Speaker 1: Very and I remember that Nigga was choking on the
Speaker 1: fucking water.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I could tell cam you had one of those,
Speaker 2: because like, as women, we need to know where our
Speaker 2: future is going, right, Like we need to know we
Speaker 2: need to feel safe in making decisions, et cetera. And
Speaker 2: I think the same for starting relationships. So talk to
Speaker 2: that nigga, and don't be scared to talk to him either.
Speaker 1: You're worth it.
Speaker 2: You've been dating him six months, Yep, you're someone that
Speaker 2: he's not gonna want to fuck us up with. But
Speaker 2: you need to ask.
Speaker 1: I agree with you. You need to ask or or
Speaker 1: go date somebody else. That's what I will tell you.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Anyways, if you want to send in your letter and
Speaker 3: get our amazing advice because you always have a decision,
Speaker 3: make sure your email email us Decisions Pod at gmail
Speaker 3: dot com. And if you want to watch the full
Speaker 3: video of us looking all natural, no makeup, a bitch
Speaker 3: got lip lost on though, go ahead and join us
Speaker 3: on the paton. That's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions,
Speaker 3: where you also can get a bonus episode of Horrible
Speaker 3: Decisions because puts a whole it ain't go no, well,
Speaker 3: it's just five dollars a month. You can go over
Speaker 3: there and get an extra bonus episode every month.
Speaker 1: And there's other tiers with blogs and blogs and all
Speaker 1: the things.
Speaker 3: Again, that's Patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 1: Fin Niggas