1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,439
Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,880
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,480
Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what.

4
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,920
Speaker 1: You've got decisions? You've got decision.

5
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,079
Speaker 3: That that was like dingle from like you got mail,

6
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,800
Speaker 3: Like I feel like we gotta have somebody do that.

7
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,040
Speaker 1: Like that was good. What do y'all do?

8
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:31,160
Speaker 3: Y'all y'all creat about the somebody give us a goddamn jingles.

9
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,040
Speaker 2: Got up to Luke and he has a Grammy?

10
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,559
Speaker 1: Now Luke for real? Oh Mike, Yeah, I think he.

11
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,480
Speaker 2: Has a Grammy and he made our Yeah, you didn't

12
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,000
Speaker 2: know he had a Grammy? Do we still start that week?

13
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:44,800
Speaker 1: No, we don't.

14
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,920
Speaker 3: We did a new one, by the way, in our hoes.

15
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,159
Speaker 3: Have you listened to it? It's like us giggling, and

16
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, girl, you gotta intro

17
00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,880
Speaker 3: of decision decisions of decision decisions on the audio. You're

18
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:06,840
Speaker 3: gonna have to skip about six select bro, Bro, go

19
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,960
Speaker 3: listen to it.

20
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:12,640
Speaker 1: It's not bad. It's not bad, bro. It's so actually

21
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,240
Speaker 1: welcome to the decisions decision. I don't think we should

22
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,959
Speaker 1: say this like that.

23
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:22,720
Speaker 2: Listen, you definitely say it welcome, Welcome to the new party.

24
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,280
Speaker 1: I mean you want to say together decision. Hey, guys,

25
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 1: I love them to another episode. Bro, that's our intro.

26
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,560
Speaker 3: That, by the way, you listening for the first time

27
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,479
Speaker 3: and me just finding out over the holidays.

28
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,840
Speaker 1: That's how our shows start. I think we need a

29
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,320
Speaker 1: new intro.

30
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:44,680
Speaker 2: BRO. I wait, how long has it been like this?

31
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:45,080
Speaker 1: Bro?

32
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,480
Speaker 3: I think Dwayne made it and he had to use

33
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 3: our bloopers. Bro, you know we sell gross. This is

34
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 3: how our podcast starts, y'all. They said, you say welcome, welcome,

35
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,280
Speaker 3: decisions decisions and we could.

36
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,880
Speaker 1: Talk to someone. I hate it. We gotta talk to

37
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,600
Speaker 1: Black Effects immediately.

38
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:14,760
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, let.

39
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:19,920
Speaker 1: Me do it. Now, make a decision, Mandy. Wait, but

40
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:24,400
Speaker 1: what's my life? Then you gotta be like decisions decision?

41
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:25,200
Speaker 3: No.

42
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,800
Speaker 1: I want to say, were not making horrible decisions?

43
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,120
Speaker 2: No more.

44
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,799
Speaker 1: No, I thought.

45
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 2: Decisions decisions was like when you're like decisions decisions y'all.

46
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,639
Speaker 1: We might need a jingle for that too.

47
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,440
Speaker 3: On this, we need to revamp while we're in this

48
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,760
Speaker 3: good creative spirit together.

49
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,440
Speaker 1: We have to revamp all of our ship.

50
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,560
Speaker 2: But I'm an agreeance because this this is not okay.

51
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,840
Speaker 3: Dog, I heard that but it's because my uber driver

52
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,960
Speaker 3: played it because he wanted to know what I was.

53
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,000
Speaker 1: So I told him to listen to the the here

54
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,080
Speaker 1: the way the roomber driver didn't know you, but asked bright.

55
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,919
Speaker 3: And then decided to play it in the car while

56
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,880
Speaker 3: I was there. So I'm listening to it and I said, now,

57
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,240
Speaker 3: what the fuck is this intro?

58
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: I hate it? Sorry, Dwayne, I know you're listening to

59
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,920
Speaker 1: put this out? I fucking hated is listening? Has he

60
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 1: listened to anything? Because the cdium was like fi bro,

61
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,240
Speaker 1: I hated it. You know what?

62
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,920
Speaker 2: This is why you can't give like sometimes two people

63
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,079
Speaker 2: get a little too creative.

64
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,600
Speaker 1: Nigga heard the Bluebird was like, let me blend this up.

65
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 3: No bruh, So our music that used to be yeah,

66
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,800
Speaker 3: none of that's their No mo.

67
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 1: We need this is not cool.

68
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 3: We need to look up like an R and B

69
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,320
Speaker 3: singer that has the word decisions in a song and

70
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,520
Speaker 3: be like, hey, yo, could we use that because y'all

71
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 3: don't know. We never asked Juicy J, but luckily he

72
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 3: never came after us. I ripped that bitch. I ripped

73
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 3: that straight from and then my homeboy was like, yeah,

74
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:57,600
Speaker 3: you know that's.

75
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,720
Speaker 1: Juicy J and I was like, when I took it

76
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:05,480
Speaker 1: from you, you whatever, as in the juice man Gucci, No.

77
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,839
Speaker 3: Not, I know, Okay, the nigga on one hand, I didn't

78
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,160
Speaker 3: know we bought racial so we got one hair right. Yeah.

79
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,799
Speaker 3: But like I made a huge mistake today and thought

80
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,600
Speaker 3: that Ruth Gater, Ruth Bader Gator, I thought she was

81
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 3: a white woman, but she was Jewish.

82
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,160
Speaker 1: I thought she was a black woman. I'm sorry, oh,

83
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,840
Speaker 1: I was Jewish is white.

84
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,080
Speaker 3: I thought she was like giving Rosa Parks fair skin,

85
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:39,520
Speaker 3: But no, she's white Hwish. It's only because so I said,

86
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,479
Speaker 3: I think Crystal in this video of this husband trying

87
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,599
Speaker 3: to figure out like you know, the slide shows that

88
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:46,920
Speaker 3: you give people and they got to guess who the

89
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,120
Speaker 3: people is. So I told Chris, so I bet you

90
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,560
Speaker 3: don't know these white people. So it got to to

91
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,840
Speaker 3: Ruth Gator, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and she was like that

92
00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:04,400
Speaker 3: nigga don't know Judge Judy, I said, that is anyway

93
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,400
Speaker 3: I thought Ruth was black. Hole. I thought I knew

94
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,560
Speaker 3: she was for the people, so I just thought she

95
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,960
Speaker 3: was black. Making strides at differences with you know, abortion

96
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,600
Speaker 3: rights out here anyway.

97
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I appreciate that you saw Ruth was a

98
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,039
Speaker 2: black lady because of how impactful she was. Guy, there

99
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,800
Speaker 2: we go, But the full name doesn't give what's supposed

100
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:27,520
Speaker 2: to be gays.

101
00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 3: First off, our names come from slave masters. I just

102
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 3: thought that's where her lineage took her.

103
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,400
Speaker 1: Okay, fair, that's fair, that's fair. We'll take that. Okay. Anyways,

104
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,120
Speaker 1: if y'all want to send us a question about your

105
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,800
Speaker 1: raggedy life.

106
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:47,240
Speaker 3: Bitch, send that shit over to decisious spot at gmail

107
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:51,360
Speaker 3: dot com. Because y'all's letters are like housewives to be.

108
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,640
Speaker 3: It reminds me that shit ain't that bad over here.

109
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,960
Speaker 3: So I appreciate these letters every single week. I'm not

110
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 3: gonna hold you.

111
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 2: Sometimes the letters do make me feel like like I

112
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 2: literally said to my nigga and dab he was an argument.

113
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,640
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, it's bitches in my

114
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,800
Speaker 2: email talking about my man got another bat.

115
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 1: I was like, we were my nigga's not that bad.

116
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,320
Speaker 1: Ain't that man not that bad? At least you gonna

117
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 1: know what the baby.

118
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,840
Speaker 3: But now at this point, since the bitch knew him

119
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:20,200
Speaker 3: two years, like she said, last week, okay go go sorry.

120
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,000
Speaker 1: Well this one.

121
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,720
Speaker 3: Literally, the subject line is, am I stupid for sticking around?

122
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,080
Speaker 1: So nine times out of tended?

123
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:28,160
Speaker 2: You?

124
00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,479
Speaker 1: Yea yeah? But all right, come on, sister, let's let's

125
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,919
Speaker 1: let's let's let's help her out.

126
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,720
Speaker 3: All right, here we go, Hello, just for some contacts.

127
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,320
Speaker 3: I'm a thirty one year old black woman. I need

128
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 3: to know if I'm done for sticking around, because according

129
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,880
Speaker 3: to my friends, I am.

130
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: But your friends could be haters. So we're here to

131
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 1: see if they're writer or not.

132
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 3: In June of twenty twenty five, I decided to shoot

133
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,679
Speaker 3: my shot at an old high school friend.

134
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,760
Speaker 1: Well, he was more of my brother's friend than mine.

135
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,159
Speaker 1: I thought he was so cute back then, and he

136
00:06:56,320 --> 00:07:00,520
Speaker 1: still find as hell now. I Oh lord, I took

137
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:01,320
Speaker 1: him on a date.

138
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,120
Speaker 2: Jesus in Mandy put her hand over her mouth like

139
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 2: something smelled bad. I took him on a date and

140
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,840
Speaker 2: stated that my intentions were pure and genuine. What girl?

141
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 1: This is what she said.

142
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 3: I told him that I wanted to see where this

143
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 3: goes because I could see us being together. Oh told

144
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,080
Speaker 3: me about his trauma from his past relationship and that

145
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,400
Speaker 3: he's still healing. I understood because I had to heal

146
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,280
Speaker 3: from a five year situation. So to the present moment,

147
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,160
Speaker 3: We've been dating really heavy for the past few months

148
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,240
Speaker 3: and everything is going great. We spent holidays together, we

149
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,760
Speaker 3: met each other's family, and now Valentine's Day is approaching

150
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,560
Speaker 3: and my friends are wondering when he is going to

151
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,200
Speaker 3: ask me to be his girlfriend. Me and him have

152
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:54,040
Speaker 3: had countless conversations about what it is that we are doing.

153
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,680
Speaker 3: To be honest, he still is a lot going on

154
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,960
Speaker 3: that he needs to work on, and I've been understanding,

155
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,880
Speaker 3: even helping him work through some of the things. We

156
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,440
Speaker 3: know that everything takes time and we just want to

157
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,119
Speaker 3: take things slow. But my friends are making me feel

158
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,240
Speaker 3: bad because he has yet to ask me to be

159
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,680
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. Yes, I would like to be his girlfriend

160
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,080
Speaker 3: and much more, and I really am trying to be

161
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,120
Speaker 3: patient with him, But like, come on, nigga, does it

162
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,400
Speaker 3: really take six plus months to figure out.

163
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,600
Speaker 1: If you want to be with someone?

164
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,960
Speaker 3: And maybe I'm too understanding, but I don't mind what

165
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,080
Speaker 3: we have going on now.

166
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 1: We go on frequent dates.

167
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,560
Speaker 3: Hell, we even travel together. Our sex is amazing, don't

168
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,640
Speaker 3: they other people? Our families get along literally doing everything

169
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 3: a couple does. But why do I have to feel

170
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,560
Speaker 3: so pressured to even put a title on it. Maybe

171
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,960
Speaker 3: it's the Scorpio and me because I love hard and

172
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,720
Speaker 3: get jealous from time to time. Sorry, Mandy, I know

173
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,640
Speaker 3: you don't like the stars and moons talk lol, But

174
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,760
Speaker 3: I really want him to be mine. But I'm also

175
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,400
Speaker 3: willing to stick around and be patient with him. But

176
00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,600
Speaker 3: how long is too long before I become stupid?

177
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:13,640
Speaker 1: Thanks? Love you both, Eh, I'm gonna let you go first.

178
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 1: Gleasie who Okay?

179
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:23,920
Speaker 3: First off, do you think being stupid?

180
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,760
Speaker 2: I don't think you're stupid. I would never call a

181
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:32,160
Speaker 2: woman stupid for that. But what I would say, you

182
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,360
Speaker 2: like him more than he likes you. Ooh, and he

183
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:42,520
Speaker 2: knows it, he feels it, he knows it. Sometimes the

184
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,280
Speaker 2: way you start shit is the way shit ends. When

185
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,080
Speaker 2: shit starts fucked up, it ends fucked up. I've said

186
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,600
Speaker 2: that a lot on the show, and I think to

187
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,440
Speaker 2: get to the point where a man lets you take

188
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,680
Speaker 2: him out, now.

189
00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:00,600
Speaker 1: This is not oh don't stay there, so.

190
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 2: Okay, because I am if a nigga really fucked with you,

191
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,480
Speaker 2: their ego is not gonna nitch you take him on

192
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,760
Speaker 2: the first day, not the first It's different now, I

193
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,680
Speaker 2: think once you've been kicking it with somebody picking up

194
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:13,400
Speaker 2: the checking, shit is.

195
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,720
Speaker 1: Cute, right, Like teamwork is a very normal.

196
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,200
Speaker 2: Thing in relationship. Fifty to fifty is very normal. But

197
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,480
Speaker 2: there's something about the courting a man which led me,

198
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,320
Speaker 2: leads me to believe you're gonna have to ask that

199
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,559
Speaker 2: nigga to be your boyfriend.

200
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,840
Speaker 1: You gonna have to get on one, Nieces.

201
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,120
Speaker 2: I don't know if he's ever gonna do it for

202
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,320
Speaker 2: you because he knows how bad you want him, like

203
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,320
Speaker 2: for you to say the things about my intentions and

204
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,600
Speaker 2: this and that on a first date. It's just, even

205
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,880
Speaker 2: though we are non traditional women, there's certain things that

206
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 2: we have to acknowledge and admit are traditionally not something

207
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,920
Speaker 2: that goes on. So it's interesting that you did something

208
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,760
Speaker 2: so non traditional but are expecting by Valentine's Day to

209
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,960
Speaker 2: be someone's girlfriend. Sounds very traditional to me. Yeah, so

210
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold you. One of my home boys

211
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 2: is gonna ask this girl the day Valancine's aby as girl?

212
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,840
Speaker 1: Could it happened to you? Sure? Am I being pessimistic? Maybe?

213
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,120
Speaker 1: But the reason I'm doing it.

214
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,160
Speaker 2: Is really because of how he was sought after in

215
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,800
Speaker 2: terms of paying for things pretty much maybe the last

216
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,200
Speaker 2: three relationships I've been in. I paid for things with

217
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 2: Old Bay. I paid for things with scissors. I paid

218
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,680
Speaker 2: for things, you know, Like, I'm not dating like super

219
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,920
Speaker 2: duper wealthy people. We just do well and we share

220
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,400
Speaker 2: somethings sometimes with scissors. It was more fifty to fifty

221
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,559
Speaker 2: with Old Bay and my current boyfriend, it's not I

222
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,480
Speaker 2: would say, more like seventy five twenty five, which some

223
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,319
Speaker 2: women even think that's too much. So I think it's

224
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 2: really all that you're comfortable with, right, So I'm not

225
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,160
Speaker 2: trying to shade you for paying for something but you did. No,

226
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:54,360
Speaker 2: I'm shaming her for like the pursuit. The pursuit just

227
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 2: feels a little bit like whoa and the fact that

228
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,560
Speaker 2: you're like waiting on him to do this, saying I

229
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,520
Speaker 2: just think you may be waiting a long time, And

230
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,199
Speaker 2: I think it's because of how you set the tone.

231
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,160
Speaker 2: When a man knows you want them that bad, they

232
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,040
Speaker 2: know you'll stick around for a long time. So are

233
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,480
Speaker 2: you stupid for dating six months without a title? No,

234
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 2: I actually think that's right around the time that my

235
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,559
Speaker 2: boyfriend I committed.

236
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,640
Speaker 1: Well and I was very natural.

237
00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:20,959
Speaker 3: I was even gonna say, have you sat with what

238
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,920
Speaker 3: this title means to you? Because you said that you're

239
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,240
Speaker 3: feeling pressured to put a title on it because everyone

240
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,800
Speaker 3: else around you is calling you stupid.

241
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,480
Speaker 1: But are you happy?

242
00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:33,080
Speaker 3: Because what this is giving is you feel like you

243
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,600
Speaker 3: are lacking something. So the fact that you had to say,

244
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,040
Speaker 3: we travel together, we go on frequent dates, our sex

245
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 3: is amazing, we don't date other people, our families get along.

246
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,520
Speaker 3: There's something in here that you're not telling us that

247
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,959
Speaker 3: is missing from the commitment, which is why you're wanting that.

248
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 2: That's actually a great point because you're making the point

249
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,480
Speaker 2: of like our families or this, and that we don't

250
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,319
Speaker 2: date other people, like I don't.

251
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,480
Speaker 1: Know, and is this a relationship or is it not?

252
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,719
Speaker 3: And so what you're saying you're being pressured to put

253
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,800
Speaker 3: a title on it, but really, realistically, sit with what

254
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:06,120
Speaker 3: a title means to you, because it could mean something

255
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 3: different to you than your friends that are applying this pressure.

256
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 3: Are you comfortable? Do you do you feel secure? Is

257
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,079
Speaker 3: it a security blanket?

258
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:15,360
Speaker 2: Even?

259
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,760
Speaker 1: Oh and let me tell you, friends will make.

260
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 2: You feel like shit about choices you make.

261
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,360
Speaker 3: With the many you choose the fuck I didn't listen.

262
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 3: I told y'all in twenty twenty six. I ain't got

263
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,839
Speaker 3: no opinions on the niggas y'all choose to suck and

264
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 3: fuck because it ain't my decision.

265
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,920
Speaker 1: But if it was, it wouldn't be them.

266
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,199
Speaker 3: Niggas, oh boy, because we decide we gonna suck and

267
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,040
Speaker 3: fuck different niggas. I ain't gat really no opinion on

268
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,760
Speaker 3: the nigga you suck because that you swallow don't make

269
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:45,200
Speaker 3: me shit.

270
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:45,680
Speaker 1: Okay.

271
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,360
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys could hear the drill

272
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,680
Speaker 2: in the back, but the handyman are loving that.

273
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,280
Speaker 3: But yeah, they so for me, it's it's weird because

274
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 3: if you've been with the fan for six months, I'm

275
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,960
Speaker 3: curious too, do you refer to him as your boyfriend?

276
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,240
Speaker 3: So I wonder if it's no, it's how.

277
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 1: I'll be calling niggas my boyfriend clearly, but no. When

278
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,440
Speaker 1: I was, I mean, I still call my nigga my nigga.

279
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,040
Speaker 3: But I made all these niggas be like you my boyfriend, right,

280
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,640
Speaker 3: So I'm your girlfriend, you my boyfriend, and this is

281
00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,720
Speaker 3: what it is, just because now we got a responsibility

282
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 3: to one of them.

283
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,240
Speaker 2: Well, but to be all I was started doing what

284
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,320
Speaker 2: I was, started calling him my boyfriend, and see what

285
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 2: you do, especially if your families get along, I'd be likeyfriend,

286
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm curious what your families if they're that intertwined what

287
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,000
Speaker 2: they refer to y'all as. Because also there's a difference

288
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 2: between your families having been in the same space once

289
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 2: and the casualness of it to it being a common

290
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 2: thing that y'all's families just hang out.

291
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

292
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that that's interesting too, because family's meeting like I don't.

293
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 3: Know a just But also remember she said that, uh,

294
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 3: this nigga is her brother's friend. So bitch, is it

295
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,040
Speaker 3: just he cool with your brother or is he cool

296
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:11,880
Speaker 3: with your family?

297
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 1: Because why he doesn't date other people? I'm curious.

298
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,080
Speaker 3: Ooh, this don't have her thinking heat out here. She

299
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,840
Speaker 3: said they don't, so maybe they said they not. Oh okay,

300
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,280
Speaker 3: if he said I only want to date you, now

301
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,440
Speaker 3: you know she didn't say that in the letter. This

302
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,720
Speaker 3: is why we might need to be see, y'all need

303
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 3: to get a deeds bruh, I don't date other people.

304
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,960
Speaker 3: But also she used that D word. I told y'all

305
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,840
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty six. That word is so.

306
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 1: But is he fucking other people? Because maybe he don't

307
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,160
Speaker 1: take other bitches on date and.

308
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,720
Speaker 3: Take up on the phone with them, But is he

309
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 3: entertaining situationship wise with other bitches?

310
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 1: Like is it a conversation about.

311
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,120
Speaker 2: I mean, she's vacationing and doing all this stuff with him,

312
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 2: so she sees that she's taking them both of his time.

313
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 3: So in vacation married man, what the fuck that mean?

314
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,760
Speaker 3: We don't show it on a trip together. So you

315
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 3: the main you to mad. But I will tell you this.

316
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be thirty five in a few months, and

317
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 2: what I will tell you that I have learned that.

318
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:20,400
Speaker 1: I learned this.

319
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 2: At thirty boy, when a nigga wants you, is it loud?

320
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,240
Speaker 2: It is loud, It's easy, Oh my god, it's loud.

321
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:34,920
Speaker 1: It is so loud. I've learned that. Now I've like it.

322
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 1: Maybe took me to thirty four thirty five Voto seven.

323
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 2: Do I want anyone listening to this to not think

324
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 2: we're speaking to the woman that wrote the letter. But

325
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 2: I want you to listen to this just for any

326
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 2: situation you ever had from a man when it was

327
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 2: fucking confusing, when it's fucking confusing. There is either another

328
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,760
Speaker 2: person or fleeting thought that they have about wanting to

329
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,720
Speaker 2: get into relationship. It's not always you, it's just about

330
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 2: their alignment to what you're looking for. One thing I've noticed,

331
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,439
Speaker 2: in particular the last two men I've ended up in

332
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,360
Speaker 2: relationships with my current partner and my last both were

333
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 2: not looking for girlfriends. However, I could not tell from

334
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,880
Speaker 2: how they engaged with me and the energy they had

335
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 2: for dating me, and both times I just kind of

336
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,360
Speaker 2: wanted to fuck too. And then I hit a point

337
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,159
Speaker 2: where I was like, well I want more, so I

338
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,200
Speaker 2: think I'm good on this, and never was I let go, yeah,

339
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 2: and telling you, I have been situations where men let

340
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,120
Speaker 2: me go and they were like, okay, cool, and this

341
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 2: is not me trying to flex and be like my

342
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,399
Speaker 2: niggas wanted me. I have been on the other end

343
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 2: of where a guy was like, I'm not ready for

344
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,240
Speaker 2: what you're looking for. However, I did end up in

345
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,960
Speaker 2: the relationships with people that were looking for the same

346
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,280
Speaker 2: I keep almost saying her name Scissors is one that

347
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 2: gave me that Sissus basically was like did dream about

348
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 2: to keep trying to fly me to New York and

349
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,640
Speaker 2: come down door and blah blah blah, like the fuck

350
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, okay, well am, I ain't

351
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,239
Speaker 2: gonna lose you. So And it wasn't even like I

352
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,560
Speaker 2: wanted anyone else. I just was just doing whatever, you know,

353
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 2: I was bopping around. I'm twenty six when we started dating, Like,

354
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 2: I wasn't genuinely thinking like commitment, but she was. She's

355
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,679
Speaker 2: a few years older than me, not by much, but

356
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 2: her brain was there where mine wasn't.

357
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: So it was easy.

358
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 2: I want to say, same night, same day conversation she

359
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 2: had with me was done.

360
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we together. So when people feel that for you,

361
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 1: when they don't want to lose you, David, bitch a.

362
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: You're not going a little bitch now. And I'm not

363
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 1: here for ultimatum.

364
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:48,400
Speaker 3: But it's weird because I want you to want more

365
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 3: for yourself if you want a relationship. You see his

366
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 3: saying you willn't be patient until when until he go

367
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 3: out find somebody else he liked. And now you sit here,

368
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 3: sitting here with paint on your face, like, if you

369
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 3: want to be more with him, if y'all are going

370
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 3: about everything that entails a relationship, ask him what's holding

371
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 3: him up from the title. Then agreed, and then you

372
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 3: need to decide what you want. But it can't be

373
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 3: to just wait around for a man.

374
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 1: To choose you. You have to choose yourself.

375
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,680
Speaker 2: And I think you know, we have such poor dating

376
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 2: experiences that we like to take leaps ourselves. So I

377
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 2: think asking a man out on a date isn't terrible

378
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,159
Speaker 2: be like I want to, But I think offering to pay.

379
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 3: Is the way she said I took him out on

380
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 3: a date. She definitely paid.

381
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,399
Speaker 2: So it was something about the language of like my

382
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 2: intentions and taking out.

383
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 1: I said, I want to be genuine and with intent

384
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: and yuh yeah, I think it's like I'm going to cover.

385
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like it's.

386
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 3: Like, oh okay, yeah, you're giving off that you like

387
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 3: him more and he's not.

388
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: He doesn't feel like he's in the risk of losing you.

389
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: Oh he's gonna say he's stay bringing you along until

390
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 1: you know.

391
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 2: This is also by the way, you wrote us for answers,

392
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 2: and I'll give you the immediate one. After all this

393
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 2: shade we've thrown you have a conversation with him, letting

394
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 2: him know like, hey, like my expectations of where we're going.

395
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 2: Is that one up in a committed relationship?

396
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 1: Do you see that with me? Oop?

397
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 3: But I asked, that's what you got to ask me,

398
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 3: And you need to ask him that before Valentine's Day, bitch,

399
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: so that you have time to book that flight the

400
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 3: All Star weekend and get you.

401
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 2: Know, Cammy, we did Cammy Crawford's pod and she said

402
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 2: something about getting no.

403
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 1: No, no, no she did. She said I'm getting married soon.

404
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 1: She did. She was like, I don't have to notice,

405
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 1: and you know what, yep, and she got that ring.

406
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 2: I understand because I had a conversation when we were

407
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 2: in Brazil where it was like, I don't know, maybe

408
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 2: I've never said it like that before, Like I already

409
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: knew what track I was on, but I was like, yeah, when, like,

410
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 2: what gauge do you have because I'm gonna like, you know,

411
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: my get like and it was.

412
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 1: Very and I remember that Nigga was choking on the

413
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 1: fucking water.

414
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I could tell cam you had one of those,

415
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 2: because like, as women, we need to know where our

416
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: future is going, right, Like we need to know we

417
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 2: need to feel safe in making decisions, et cetera. And

418
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 2: I think the same for starting relationships. So talk to

419
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 2: that nigga, and don't be scared to talk to him either.

420
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: You're worth it.

421
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 2: You've been dating him six months, Yep, you're someone that

422
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 2: he's not gonna want to fuck us up with. But

423
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 2: you need to ask.

424
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: I agree with you. You need to ask or or

425
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 1: go date somebody else. That's what I will tell you.

426
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 2: Uh.

427
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: Anyways, if you want to send in your letter and

428
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 3: get our amazing advice because you always have a decision,

429
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 3: make sure your email email us Decisions Pod at gmail

430
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,160
Speaker 3: dot com. And if you want to watch the full

431
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,360
Speaker 3: video of us looking all natural, no makeup, a bitch

432
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 3: got lip lost on though, go ahead and join us

433
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 3: on the paton. That's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions,

434
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 3: where you also can get a bonus episode of Horrible

435
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 3: Decisions because puts a whole it ain't go no, well,

436
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 3: it's just five dollars a month. You can go over

437
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 3: there and get an extra bonus episode every month.

438
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: And there's other tiers with blogs and blogs and all

439
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 1: the things.

440
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: Again, that's Patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions.

441
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: Fin Niggas