Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.
Speaker 1: This I am your host, Chris Alvarado. Yes, that Chris Alvarado,
Speaker 1: and I'm super excited to be joined by my friends,
Speaker 1: my colleagues, my co artists. So let's just jump right
Speaker 1: into it and say hello to them in no particular order.
Speaker 1: Let's start with somebody who rarely joins us as a
Speaker 1: guest is usually a host. Say hello to col Stratton, everybody. Cole, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is weird. I think this is the first thing
Speaker 1: I've done this word. It hasn't meant me or Kevin hosting.
Speaker 1: I was like, Cole is also a great improviser who
Speaker 1: likes to play. He doesn't have to do Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know it's great just showing up and doing it, riding
Speaker 1: up the sea suggestions and figuring out the dumb questions
Speaker 1: to ask people and all that ship. It's the worst, right,
Speaker 1: Speaking of which, Cole, yep, what's your favorite Jeopardy category?
Speaker 1: It pops up? You know you're gonna get all of them?
Speaker 1: Are just about all of them? You know, we actually
Speaker 1: watched Jeopardy pretty much daily, recorded watching at lunch Umlula
Speaker 1: of the Street that Mattea is on right now. Anything
Speaker 1: pop culture related, obviously, if it's like movies or which
Speaker 1: actually always makes me crazy because it's the pop culture
Speaker 1: things that only the super champs like run. Most of
Speaker 1: the other people just sit there scared and then they
Speaker 1: just go peep peep and like they don't know the
Speaker 1: answer is it would be like a picture Johnny Depp
Speaker 1: and like, I don't know. Makes me a little crazy.
Speaker 1: But yeah, anything pop culture related, anything pop cults are great.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're here. I'm also glad that this
Speaker 1: next person here, she just sell her celebrated birthday makes up. No,
Speaker 1: it's hard. Jackie Ruthie, Alright, Jackie, serious question here. Concession
Speaker 1: of choice at a basketball game? Or what are you
Speaker 1: snacking on? See that's different than a movie. Concession of
Speaker 1: choice at a basketball game? Ongoing cinnamon ager? What cell pretzel? Wow?
Speaker 1: Craig Is also joined us today. He made a face
Speaker 1: very controversial choice, what's sol I'm that's I'm just it's
Speaker 1: something that I never have, you know, It's it's so
Speaker 1: mall specific, and I'm so not a mall person, um,
Speaker 1: but but it is. Gosh. I love it, and I
Speaker 1: love it when they're just like a little undercooked, which
Speaker 1: they usually are, especially where it's like knotted over. That's
Speaker 1: where it really gets Doughey, Uh, give me that, and
Speaker 1: give me a Coca Cola Classic. Really, you're you're on
Speaker 1: a diet or a Coke zero not? Absolutely not. Keep
Speaker 1: a Classic for me. I don't have it every day,
Speaker 1: so you know, I'm like, this is fine. I'll keep
Speaker 1: a Classic for when I have it. Makes sense, makes sense.
Speaker 1: Super light your hair. Everybody say hello to Mark Gagliardi. Hello, alright,
Speaker 1: Mark Gagliardi. What's your relationship with fitness? I Fitness and
Speaker 1: I have an on again, off again relations same same
Speaker 1: we will like we we we go long periods of
Speaker 1: time without seeing one another, and then I will reach
Speaker 1: out or sometimes Fitness will reach out to me, but
Speaker 1: usually I reach out to Fitness tepidly, like I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if I want to start things back up again. Um,
Speaker 1: And then I try and I and we'll go for
Speaker 1: like a month, and of course kind of we just
Speaker 1: kind of fall off and stop calling each other, which
Speaker 1: no one's fault, no one's fault, nobody's fault. It's nobody's fault.
Speaker 1: We're just we're just leading different lives yeah. Hey, I
Speaker 1: always think about asking fitness out and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm married, just lovliness, I'm married. I stay it this way,
Speaker 1: but not at least make some noise from my boy
Speaker 1: and your boy, Mr. Every everyone's boy here, my boy,
Speaker 1: Craig Craig. I was talking to Jessica about this, and
Speaker 1: it throw me crazy because I didn't think there was
Speaker 1: a difference. Is your autograph different from your city, different
Speaker 1: from your signature? Yeah? It is, really yeah, it is right.
Speaker 1: I never thought about it, but it has to be now, Mark,
Speaker 1: And I know this because for Thrilling a Venture Hour,
Speaker 1: the podcast that we were on for a number of years,
Speaker 1: we would sometimes have to do like two hundred posters
Speaker 1: in a row, and so I developed kind of a
Speaker 1: shorthand uh much less legible autograph with two large cs
Speaker 1: and basically scribbles after that. So, if you know, if
Speaker 1: you're a fan of a Thrilling Adventure Hour, you're looking
Speaker 1: at fifteen names, you see two giants stays, You're like,
Speaker 1: that's Craig Atkowski. I don't need to understand the rest
Speaker 1: of it. But if I'm signing an official document or
Speaker 1: an employment form or anything like that, attack form, I
Speaker 1: will my cursive is still not great in any way,
Speaker 1: shape or form, but I will try to delineate the
Speaker 1: individual letters in Craig and Kaikowski a little more when
Speaker 1: I'm doing a signature, but an autography, get two big seas.
Speaker 1: And also, I quickly want to mention that I've been
Speaker 1: binging this podcast, UM the Second Citizens hosted by by
Speaker 1: Joe Canally, where he it's really fast. It's fascinating because
Speaker 1: he's just talking to um uh residents, previous residents of
Speaker 1: of Second City stages. So I know a lot of
Speaker 1: the people. But Craig, your name comes up over and
Speaker 1: over and over, and I'm always like, I want to
Speaker 1: text Craig. I'm like, he probably knows, he probably knows
Speaker 1: they're talking about it. I don't know if he put
Speaker 1: my episode out yet, but it will eventually be a
Speaker 1: guest so I will get to answer for myself. I'm
Speaker 1: looking forward to that. All right, let's move on because
Speaker 1: this is the stage right now, everybody. Some of us
Speaker 1: didn't make it to a resident stage, you know, with
Speaker 1: Second City, but this this, this is the show. This
Speaker 1: is the show. UM. All of today's scene suggestion as
Speaker 1: always come to us from our listener suggestions, emails, whatnot
Speaker 1: if you want priority. Once while sending in a suggestion,
Speaker 1: consider becoming a Patriot. Oh my gosh, I said considered
Speaker 1: becoming I say, considered becoming a Patreon, which is a
Speaker 1: Patreon v I P. Yeah, thank you, Jackie. Uh. You
Speaker 1: can join us on Patreon. You will, You'll get moved
Speaker 1: up in the cue as far as suggestions goes. You
Speaker 1: can check out our bonus scenes and all of our
Speaker 1: exclusive content. You can join us on Patreon at alchemy
Speaker 1: this no great dot com. That's Patreon dot com, slash
Speaker 1: alchemy this. I've only done this forever, so you have
Speaker 1: to excuse me. Or if you want to reach out
Speaker 1: to us the old time you way, Cole. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at you, thinking Cole and never have messed this up.
Speaker 1: You want to reach out to us, eating off a
Speaker 1: piece of paper and not looking up anyway? Um, email
Speaker 1: us at alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's Alchemy.
Speaker 1: That feels better. See one comes to us from Alchemy
Speaker 1: v I P or Alchemy v I P. Jonathan Crane
Speaker 1: Jonathan says, good day alchemists. Love the jargon great. Uh,
Speaker 1: I was hoping you could do a take on this
Speaker 1: burrito rolling master, Glad, do you exist, Jonathan. It's just
Speaker 1: like it's just a tight, tight little role and you
Speaker 1: called keep it and you use your fingers, use every
Speaker 1: single finger, and you really just kind of get it
Speaker 1: real nice and tight. You know. It's just like rolling
Speaker 1: a burrito, but it's a live human. It's just a
Speaker 1: little baby, and it's just very similar and you want
Speaker 1: to keep them nice and tight in there like this.
Speaker 1: That's a bit that's a bit too tight. And it's
Speaker 1: very great that you're trying this on a doll. First. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a bit too tight. Okay, Okay, okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1: Think about how much effort you're and how read your
Speaker 1: face is getting. I'm never going to get this dad thing.
Speaker 1: To get this dad thing, it's the the amount of
Speaker 1: effort is is unsafe, not just for the baby, but
Speaker 1: for you. I'm concerned about Hernia's I'm concerned about also
Speaker 1: just like um, you know, possible fatal situation. Why are
Speaker 1: you just adding more things for me to worry about.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I've already told you how worried I
Speaker 1: am about this whole process. Since the very beginning. We
Speaker 1: hired you as a midwife to handle all of the
Speaker 1: stress and anxiety of this sweet sweetheart. Sweetheart, she doesn't
Speaker 1: know who you are? Well, that kit, that's impossible. I
Speaker 1: mean she knows your name, miss, I'm assuming you don't
Speaker 1: recognize him. Oh, um, no, I it's okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay. You probably don't eat, you do? Yeah? I eat,
Speaker 1: you know, to stay alive. But honey, don't blow up
Speaker 1: my spot. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, if she
Speaker 1: knew a little bit about you, she might understand what's
Speaker 1: going on with the tight swaddles. Please, I would love
Speaker 1: to I would love to learn more about you. And
Speaker 1: I apologize for focusing mainly on your pregnant wife. Let
Speaker 1: me give you a little more attention. You've been focusing
Speaker 1: on Elissa for eight months now and really making this
Speaker 1: about her, and I think it should really beat you know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's about the dad and what he wants and
Speaker 1: needs and does you are? You are a participant? Are
Speaker 1: going to be there? You? Um? And I've really been
Speaker 1: thinking about the birth for the most part, and now
Speaker 1: we're talking about the actual baby and and it's time
Speaker 1: for you to shine. I would love to learn more
Speaker 1: about what you do in in regards to food. I'm well,
Speaker 1: I'm the world renowned British and I was kind of
Speaker 1: hoping that our child would become a world renowned burritist. Wow.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so. I'm a little shocked because I
Speaker 1: had said to do it like a burrito, and then
Speaker 1: you did it like a like a w W E wrestler.
Speaker 1: And so I take my burrio's very seriously. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm not. That's not my profession. And how dare
Speaker 1: I speak to that? Hey, nerd, looks like you were
Speaker 1: swaddled too tightly. Leave me alone, and look how wrapped
Speaker 1: you are and your shawl shut up? Okay, look, um,
Speaker 1: my dad's a burritus. I mean, I don't know my dad.
Speaker 1: Mum h Well, I would never make fun of you
Speaker 1: for that. Maybe we're not so different after all, I
Speaker 1: don't know, we see pretty different. I mean, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: sweet and you're obnoxious. Yeah, you're right. Well, I guess
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go punch the wall some more. Um,
Speaker 1: if I'm late for Homer and and that's why whoa truck?
Speaker 1: There's no need to do that. And look, yeah, my
Speaker 1: my clothes are really tight. My dad wraps me up
Speaker 1: every every morning. Okay, look how loose mine are? Okay, son,
Speaker 1: here's your lunch. Let me put your jacket on. You
Speaker 1: just just suck it in. Let's suck it in. Can'll
Speaker 1: get myself for once? Dad? Oh? Someone out grown his father?
Speaker 1: A Lissa get in here? Or someone's outgrown as father? What? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be wrapped anymore? Do I need
Speaker 1: to remind you who your father is and what he does?
Speaker 1: I love that I married my hype lady. You are
Speaker 1: so good to me. Can I just say I'm I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to make you run from upstairs. No, No,
Speaker 1: it's fine. It's worth it. It's worth it. D This
Speaker 1: jacket is super tight. And there's also like there's there's
Speaker 1: a layer of beans in here, but they're they're somehow
Speaker 1: evenly distributed. That's the whole point. The beans are specifically
Speaker 1: laid out, so every bit of you has a little
Speaker 1: bit of bean. Sweetheart, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: What do What are some of your other friends dad's
Speaker 1: do for a living? Um? Doctor, bullshit lawyer, um recording artist,
Speaker 1: interesting postman? Okay, okay, okay, did you hear I said
Speaker 1: interesting about the recording artist because your father is also
Speaker 1: an artist, and he doesn't get to turn that off.
Speaker 1: Do you understand he has a team full of people
Speaker 1: underneath him that are waiting years just to stir the beans.
Speaker 1: He he is so highly regarded in his in his profession.
Speaker 1: I feel like you could give him a little more
Speaker 1: respect here at the home. I don't know, I mean,
Speaker 1: like even then, Okay, wrapped burrito is still pretty good.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Like Susie dalton Um, this is our
Speaker 1: first official, you know, meeting, and we're going to be
Speaker 1: doing this once a month for the first few months,
Speaker 1: and then once we hit the second trimester, I'll be
Speaker 1: coming in, uh bye week by twice a month, and
Speaker 1: then once you hit the third trimester, I'll be coming
Speaker 1: in once a week. So right now, um, I just
Speaker 1: kind of want this to be a cool intro. So
Speaker 1: dalton Um, tell me, yeah, really about you and your
Speaker 1: journey and this pregnancy thus far. Well, it's been hard,
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm I'm a postman. Uh and you know,
Speaker 1: no rain, nor sleep, no whatever will keep me away.
Speaker 1: So I've just been out delivering a lot, and uh,
Speaker 1: this is one delivery I'm super nervous about Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going to take care of the delivery this time. Honey.
Speaker 1: That's just I'm sorry, Dalton was talking. Dalton. I would
Speaker 1: just love to know about your journey into fatherhood and
Speaker 1: how your body is feeling right now. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a little, uh a little nervous. I got butterflies
Speaker 1: in my stomach. Uh. You know, I was hoping that
Speaker 1: the butterflies would go away and one to two days,
Speaker 1: but it's looking like three to four days potentially Nextkay,
Speaker 1: you're feeling a kick first time, Esther. Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I that's I know it's a it's a blueberry right now.
Speaker 1: It's a blueberry right now. But I'm feeling is it
Speaker 1: Is it a phantom kick? I don't know. Well, that's
Speaker 1: really really incredible. I'm sorry, honey, right now, I'm priority.
Speaker 1: May also, let's go ahead. No, you understand I only
Speaker 1: bring the best tortillas to the best burritists, and you
Speaker 1: understand that you are my the top burritists have been
Speaker 1: for a long time. What's this about, Antonio? This feels
Speaker 1: like preamble to something I don't want to hear. Well,
Speaker 1: you might want to hear part of it. You definitely
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say it, Okay, I came across the
Speaker 1: batch of the Guatemalan corn tortillas that the Aztecs made.
Speaker 1: What the Aztec tortillas? The very one. Hold on, let
Speaker 1: me shut the door. No more customers for the next
Speaker 1: few minutes. All right, that should keep everyone out. Good, good,
Speaker 1: But you know it's gonna cost you. I don't have
Speaker 1: a lot of money right now, between this restaurant and
Speaker 1: and my my child and all the extra small clothes
Speaker 1: I have to buy for him. It's not money I'm after.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're talking to Aztec tortilla. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: you mentioned that you have a son, do you not? Yes?
Speaker 1: What's this about stilt skin? Give me your son and
Speaker 1: you'll get the tortillas. What. But that's one thing I've
Speaker 1: wanted for my whole lit life. Pit it against the
Speaker 1: one thing I've wanted for like eleven months. Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. The choice is yours. Hey, um,
Speaker 1: I need to return this breed out. That tortilla seems
Speaker 1: to be thousands of years old. It was not fresh.
Speaker 1: I got super sick after a couple of bites. Uh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're doing We're doing an Aztech azchech corn tortillas. Could
Speaker 1: could you? Could you make them fresh next time? It
Speaker 1: really discuss has covered a mold. Look, we we gotta batch.
Speaker 1: We gotta batche of these old Aztec tortillas, and we
Speaker 1: gotta use them up first. Like I appreciate the history
Speaker 1: of what you're doing here, but and the fact, I
Speaker 1: mean there was a search charge. It was you know,
Speaker 1: I thought you saw our creams like fifty cents to
Speaker 1: a dollar. This was seven hundred dollar search charge. I
Speaker 1: didn't notice until after you had swiped my credit card
Speaker 1: and your cashier at the time was so enough they
Speaker 1: could not reverse the charge. But thought, okay, delicacy, I'll
Speaker 1: have it. And then I got super sick to flour
Speaker 1: by it's super sick. Brought it back. Now, I'd really
Speaker 1: like seven d either in a gift card or put
Speaker 1: back into my card. He's well, Dalton, Uh, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure why your midwife here ordered the ultrasound, but good
Speaker 1: news for you, it turns out those aren't butterflies in
Speaker 1: your stomach. Bad news for you. It does look like
Speaker 1: whatever you had for lunch, uh was it? It didn't
Speaker 1: happen to be thousands of years old? Did it? Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah did I. I went to the Brito Master on
Speaker 1: twelfth and um, ah that the one he's using. That
Speaker 1: he's using the Aztec toritos. Now, yeah, yeah, that's so,
Speaker 1: that's what it was. It's uh, it's just a it's
Speaker 1: just a bad burrito in there. You're gonna make a
Speaker 1: great father. Well, Hank Jr. Welcome to your new life.
Speaker 1: This what is this? What what is going on? Well?
Speaker 1: You now work for us. You'll be um digging, you'll
Speaker 1: be digging. Okay. Um, we're looking for you know, like
Speaker 1: a truffle pig. Right, do you know what those are? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I know what a truffle pig is. You seem so confused. Okay,
Speaker 1: we took you your took you en a flight to
Speaker 1: the Guatemala in jungle to look for more. I know
Speaker 1: it's it's a weird time for me to be complaining
Speaker 1: now about it, but I'm still I'm still processing this. Look.
Speaker 1: I was in seventh grade two days ago. You know,
Speaker 1: I befriended a bully. Okay, even though we have nothing
Speaker 1: in common. Um, My dad finally stopped wrapping me in
Speaker 1: the tightest clothes possible and putting beans in my clothes
Speaker 1: for some fucking reason. And now I'm I'm a truffle
Speaker 1: pig in Guatemala. That's about it. That's really about it.
Speaker 1: That's really about it. Um dad, I'm oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: forgot got No Dad and my friend moved to Guatemala.
Speaker 1: This walls all punched out? Do you want to talk
Speaker 1: to me? Mom? Is about you right now? I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm here for you, I I love you, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: happy to help you with whatever. You just don't understand
Speaker 1: so much pressure being a seventh grader like no Dad.
Speaker 1: You see how loose my clothes arm up there? Loose?
Speaker 1: I can get you tight clothes. What do you want
Speaker 1: to learn about popping boners? I know about it in
Speaker 1: your wife's fanda. I mean, I don't know. I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking seventh grade boy, dad? What what am I missing?
Speaker 1: I I don't know what he could teach you that
Speaker 1: I that I couldn't. It's a special bond between a
Speaker 1: kid and his dad and their clothes and being able
Speaker 1: to be pinned in them properly. Mom, You'll never get it.
Speaker 1: It's not your fault. You just and understand it. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you had a similar relationship with your mom. Like
Speaker 1: I would have had with my dad, but he wasn't there,
Speaker 1: So you know, it's gonna be hard for me. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna always have these daddy issues. Everything I ever
Speaker 1: do will be daddy issues. Alright, screenplays, daddy issues, everything
Speaker 1: will be that. Well, fuck me, then, I guess. And
Speaker 1: that seemed to all right. It seemed to comes to
Speaker 1: us from alchemy v I p Oystein, Hans Guard gels Vic.
Speaker 1: I actually put this into Google treads late this morning. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm not too far away from the from
Speaker 1: how it sounded Oystein, Hans Guard gaels Vic. Um. And
Speaker 1: they write in Norway, when a situation is real crazy,
Speaker 1: we say that is completely Texas, referring to the actual
Speaker 1: I know, referring to the actual state of Texas. US
Speaker 1: don't know why Wild West movies maybe, So that's my suggestion.
Speaker 1: Things go completely Texas. Love what you do, oh with
Speaker 1: a line through it, which is called a minuscule. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you. Get in here, yes, ma'am,
Speaker 1: Get in here right now, yes, ma'am. What what what
Speaker 1: is it? Doctor? We needs you to take over this surgery.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be a routine app inducting me.
Speaker 1: It's gotten completely Texas in there. Oh no, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I mean Dr Hoisting's just completely lost it. Dr doc
Speaker 1: will be could you not called Dr Steering? I can't
Speaker 1: find I've been paging him. He's not answering his page.
Speaker 1: I just ran into you, and ma'am, I look, I'll
Speaker 1: do what you say. You're the administrator of this entire hospital.
Speaker 1: I just want to know what I'm getting into if
Speaker 1: I go in there and things have gone Texas? Are
Speaker 1: we talking bell buckles and cowboy hats? Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: toss out appendix in the air. I'm gonna shoot it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you got it. Mr al Right, who morning, babe. Oh
Speaker 1: my head it's pounding. I know mine too. What if
Speaker 1: we do last night? I don't know. I'm gonna open
Speaker 1: my phone and look through some pictures. Maybe we can
Speaker 1: out right right? Oh, ship, baby, I think you and
Speaker 1: I went completely Texas last night? What like I felt like,
Speaker 1: I mean I should have stopped when things went sort
Speaker 1: of wyoming? I know, I know, funk, we went full
Speaker 1: blown Texas last night. I bet that means we've got
Speaker 1: a lot of apologies to make. I got to call
Speaker 1: a lot of the friends. Uh ship, it looks like
Speaker 1: we actually vandalized property. Yeah. Hey, well we gotta stop
Speaker 1: going Texas. I mean, look, we need to get some help.
Speaker 1: Last week you went full on Florida. That was terrible,
Speaker 1: but completely Texas. We've never gotten there. I know this
Speaker 1: is the bottom I imagine. Yeah, me too. Well, maybe
Speaker 1: we should piece together what happened from these photos and
Speaker 1: just work backwards memento style sounds good. Well, if we're
Speaker 1: gonna start at the end, is that how we would
Speaker 1: do that? Yeah? My most my most recent picture is
Speaker 1: at the police station. Maybe we don't go there first, Okaya?
Speaker 1: Oh god, have you been seeing the news about the
Speaker 1: whole Supreme Court and everything? This whole country has gone
Speaker 1: completely Texas. It's a disaster. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm looking at the paper this morning. I'm I
Speaker 1: see every everything about this country is making me just
Speaker 1: is just as angry as a cow in a pasture. Y'all?
Speaker 1: What is going on? Oh? No, Dillard Mallory. You I
Speaker 1: told you before we got married. I said, we're going
Speaker 1: to couple's counseling and we're gonna work some things out
Speaker 1: before we officially take the vows and within that you
Speaker 1: found out that I have a problem problem with chick
Speaker 1: going Texas. If you're gonna go Texas on me, I'm
Speaker 1: moving to Norway. I don't, please don't move to Norway.
Speaker 1: I know we've been working on this, We've been working
Speaker 1: through it. I don't know if mercuries and retrograde or
Speaker 1: if the sun's just shining over the range. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I do I still have any of
Speaker 1: those pills left? Well? Sorry, you could see I got
Speaker 1: a foot over there. It looks like small intestine over there.
Speaker 1: Sound an ear and some teeth. I mean, what the
Speaker 1: hell happened here? I don't want to say it, But
Speaker 1: whoever did this obviously well you know, no say it,
Speaker 1: Lieutenant Serge. Whoever did this went completely Texas. We're dealing
Speaker 1: with the psycho pass Arge. We're dealing with someone that
Speaker 1: has no regard for human life, obviously, not even regard
Speaker 1: for the artistry of killing. Captain. Captain, we've got a
Speaker 1: new uh thing in in this invest in this case,
Speaker 1: A new thing, Yes, a new thing in this case.
Speaker 1: I'm Captain. By the way, I don't know if I
Speaker 1: can handle more. He's Serge. I'm I'm serge who's highed, Well,
Speaker 1: you're lieutenant, you outrank me, but I think collectively we
Speaker 1: are we are yes place you were saying. Turns out
Speaker 1: those body parts and pieces we found something on them.
Speaker 1: Oh coreat a dry rub, dry rock, dry rub. Alright,
Speaker 1: this has going completely Texas spies dry rub, seven different
Speaker 1: spices and one. Oh god, I knew something was up
Speaker 1: when we waited four hours to get into this crime scene.
Speaker 1: It's making me feel like perhaps there's more that we
Speaker 1: haven't uncovered. So I'm going to take it on my
Speaker 1: own volition. If you, if you approve as the collective
Speaker 1: captain to go sniff out and search out any Look,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you need a signature from a captain on this. This.
Speaker 1: I see you got a signature from a lieutenant and
Speaker 1: one from ass sergeant. I don't not like math they
Speaker 1: look if you want, if you want to check out
Speaker 1: things from the thing locker, you're gonna have to get
Speaker 1: me a captain signature on this. I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: just release things to a deputy like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: what can I say together there, captain? So I don't
Speaker 1: think that's it. Look, we I appreciate you. I know
Speaker 1: your happy. I've seen you come in here and tearing
Speaker 1: through boxes with a flashlight. I'll sign it for you,
Speaker 1: but I'm a captain c ap apostrophe and I I
Speaker 1: have cereal. I don't know if this will fly, but
Speaker 1: i'll I'll sign it for you. Listen, I just need
Speaker 1: the thing on the things that I can go to
Speaker 1: the thing. Okay, all right, you know I got to
Speaker 1: tell you when I signed my name as signatures, just
Speaker 1: a C C captain crunch. I don't have time. People
Speaker 1: want to understand, um, babe. So this is where. This
Speaker 1: is the last place I remember having a drink. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think you and I ordered to audios Amarillo's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah that sounds that sounds sort of familiar, ring a
Speaker 1: little bit of a bell. Yeah, we had a sip. Right,
Speaker 1: Did you guys want to have a seat today or Hi?
Speaker 1: Do you did you work last night? Buddy tunes? I
Speaker 1: work every day. It's really grilling. Oh it's a quick
Speaker 1: turnaround for you. Um, I'm sorry about that. Yeah. There's
Speaker 1: no union, like, there's nothing to stop them from giving
Speaker 1: me just four hours off in between shifts. It's an
Speaker 1: absolute nightmare. But unfortunately we do have rules here, so
Speaker 1: you either need to sit and enjoy. Do you recognize us?
Speaker 1: Do you recognize us from last night? So many people?
Speaker 1: So many people? Maybe if I hear you talk a
Speaker 1: little more. I'm a very oratory well based based on
Speaker 1: one of the videos I saw, heard you a lot.
Speaker 1: Can I hear you a little more? Ma'am? Um? Sure?
Speaker 1: I mean if the thing is is like, this is
Speaker 1: how I normally talk. But we kind of fear that
Speaker 1: we went completely Texas last night. Recognized So it's possible
Speaker 1: that I was like, Hi, yeah, does that sound right?
Speaker 1: And I was like I was like, yeah, like this
Speaker 1: is yes, this is very much so ringing bells, yes
Speaker 1: it so? Did you want the same table? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, we gotta keep retracing our steps. Thank you
Speaker 1: for your time, and hey, you know, maybe look for
Speaker 1: somewhere else to work. You got a lot of nerve
Speaker 1: coming back into this Arby's So sorry. Was it the
Speaker 1: big hat that's what drew you in? Because you went
Speaker 1: completely Texas when you were here last night? Shoot, no,
Speaker 1: we want to say sorry. We're just piecing together. We're
Speaker 1: just piecing together what happened last night? We're good people.
Speaker 1: Why don't you look on your phone. That'll tell you
Speaker 1: what happened last night. You were shooting wide angle videos
Speaker 1: from the top of the counter here, getting Horsey sauce
Speaker 1: on as many people as you could inside this place.
Speaker 1: I never seen more you mean, thank god? I didn't
Speaker 1: know if that was Horsey saucer or not. Come on,
Speaker 1: come on you, we went completely Texas. I didn't know. Look,
Speaker 1: we're sorry. Look, we love arbies, we love your roast beef.
Speaker 1: I always get like the big pound one. I get
Speaker 1: as much on there as possible. Um, but we just
Speaker 1: we can't take responsibility for going completely Texas. You understand, like,
Speaker 1: we're sorry, but we're sorry. We weren't ourselves. That's the
Speaker 1: worst apology I've ever heard. We can't take responsibility. What
Speaker 1: kind of an apology is? We can't take responsibility. You
Speaker 1: went Texas in my franchise? All right, um, officer, So
Speaker 1: what what what? What? What did you dig up in
Speaker 1: those boxes? Any any, any any evidence that might direct
Speaker 1: us to who this killer was. Now, I said, I
Speaker 1: saw that you mentioned that there was a little bit
Speaker 1: of a of a sauce sauce in a was so
Speaker 1: surprising because I was expecting it just to be a
Speaker 1: dry rub situation, and then all of a sudden, there's
Speaker 1: a wet sauce. So I'm thinking we're going completely Texas,
Speaker 1: We're going north south east west, and maybe we're even
Speaker 1: and I didn't taste it, but it was a very
Speaker 1: dark and hue, and we might even be going text
Speaker 1: mex We might even be dealing with the mole. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure, but again, if I can get your collective
Speaker 1: captain approval, I would love to even go further, get
Speaker 1: out of the walls of this precinct and take my
Speaker 1: investigation to the streets. I think that there may be
Speaker 1: some slow roasting pits search. I can only think of
Speaker 1: one other time we you and I had to come
Speaker 1: together for a secature. We did a go stop. I
Speaker 1: got behind you, held your hand in mine. I remember vividly.
Speaker 1: It seems like maybe we got to do that one
Speaker 1: more time to give her the access she needs. I
Speaker 1: actually think it could be an oral thing. I don't
Speaker 1: think I need a physical No no, no, no, Well,
Speaker 1: we'll see where it goes. We'll see where it goes,
Speaker 1: we'll start it, We'll see if it gets to an orbles. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're saying start with hands maybe and in oral
Speaker 1: where it goes? All right again, this is not a
Speaker 1: captain's signature. And why is this paper wet? I'm not
Speaker 1: taking this like look, don't do you not understand? Just
Speaker 1: let me out of the precinct. I don't know why
Speaker 1: you guys keep me in here. I've been home in
Speaker 1: three years. Yeah, you gotta stay in here right now.
Speaker 1: Things are hot and get over here. Listen. Don't you
Speaker 1: know there's a mole in this precinct. Somewhere there's a mole.
Speaker 1: I heard it on the street. I found it. Wait
Speaker 1: what I'm not we mean you found it? You trying
Speaker 1: to say, oh, baby, huh, I didn't realize I skipped
Speaker 1: over some stuff that you had air dropped to me
Speaker 1: last night. Okay, well we're finally within reception. It probably
Speaker 1: just came in. You're so, you're so smart and like reasonable, baby?
Speaker 1: Were we were we do we have our hands and intestines?
Speaker 1: Last night? Um that I do remember, Yes, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was hoping we wouldn't piece it together. Um. I started
Speaker 1: to come out of the Texas when we were in
Speaker 1: the middle of so many body parts. From what I
Speaker 1: can only assume was us going so Texas that we
Speaker 1: were shooting first, taking questions later, we just we we.
Speaker 1: I think that's why we end up in the police
Speaker 1: station because I was trying to establish an alibi for us. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you're so smart. You're probably smarter than any captain
Speaker 1: or sergeant or lieutenant or anybody they might have on
Speaker 1: that four. So surely you covered our tracks. Surely there's
Speaker 1: no evidence leading to us, right, baby, Well, I did
Speaker 1: a trail. Of course. He saw us leading back to
Speaker 1: the RBS. That matches the DNA of the manager there,
Speaker 1: so if anything goes correctly, they'll pin it on him.
Speaker 1: I love you here, and we have some that gatory, babe,
Speaker 1: what a day? Hey, we gotta get some help. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. I mean, yes, we just framed an
Speaker 1: innocent franchise owner of a fat whose places probably barely
Speaker 1: making ends meet. But I think it's time to take
Speaker 1: some responsibility in our own lives, and we killed somebody.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even in a hospital last night. What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? Shooting A shooting an appendix? I gotta know, Look, Deputy,
Speaker 1: no offense. But if I'm gonna be sitting in here
Speaker 1: in this derogation room, I don't know I should be
Speaker 1: talking to at least a cap And I know, I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm feeling like really really uh uh, but Cavin Fever,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm feeling like I gotta, you know, get out.
Speaker 1: And you're from the outside. I just wanted to connect
Speaker 1: with you. But um, how long you've been wearing those clothes?
Speaker 1: What does it smell like? It smells like I've been
Speaker 1: rolling around in beans. And let me tell you, it's
Speaker 1: not that I've just haven't. I've been wearing in the
Speaker 1: same clothes and we're in the same clothes for about
Speaker 1: three years. I'm gonna get you that, Captain. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get you that, Captain. You've had good cop, now have
Speaker 1: bad cops. Everything's wet now, man, what time to confess
Speaker 1: a cat? Look listen, captain, I wasn't even at the hospital.
Speaker 1: I was at my Arby's. We got video footage of
Speaker 1: an Arby. Some crazy lady was in there last night
Speaker 1: shooting Horsey sauce all over the place. You'll probably see
Speaker 1: me in the background at a video at some point
Speaker 1: video evidence. Hull. Take a look. I do like Rby.
Speaker 1: It's a big hat like mine. It is a big
Speaker 1: hat like yours. Yes, Oh baby, what a day. But
Speaker 1: you know what, we're good to this relax. I watch
Speaker 1: a little TV. No one's gonna come to our door.
Speaker 1: What I said, no one come to our right? Is
Speaker 1: someone knocked at our door? All right? But I mean
Speaker 1: to day is no one's coming, No one's bugging us,
Speaker 1: No one's gonna knock on our door. Okay, you're hearing that.
Speaker 1: I am stop setting it up. And they looked at
Speaker 1: the people here. Excuse me? Did you perform a routine
Speaker 1: appen deck to me last night? Shit, we want to
Speaker 1: hire you. We need surgeons. You did a great job.
Speaker 1: Please taking it face value, go for it. Okay? Hi? Hello, Hi?
Speaker 1: Uh you know for a fact that we were at
Speaker 1: a hospital last night performing surgeries. Yes, yes, we we have.
Speaker 1: We have camp footage and we're not in trouble. Well, look,
Speaker 1: things went completely Texas in our operating room last night,
Speaker 1: and then I guess things are also going completely Texas
Speaker 1: for you in your lives because obviously you blacked out.
Speaker 1: You performed a routine surgery, but you really got us
Speaker 1: out of a bind there. And uh, I just smell
Speaker 1: like beans. Uh you're you're alone? Right? Yeah? Sorry, I
Speaker 1: I'm it's just a cold day, and I'm just wearing
Speaker 1: my old, my old childhood jacket. As long as you're
Speaker 1: not some deputy is trying to make a name for
Speaker 1: herself by capturing two people who committed to haynge this crime.
Speaker 1: As long as you're not that, we're no. No, that's
Speaker 1: that's not that's not me. Because if my phone, if
Speaker 1: my phone ring, sorry if I wasn't the guy you
Speaker 1: were expecting, but this I'm the guy who's here. I'm
Speaker 1: the guy who's here, and I'm offering you a job
Speaker 1: for us that life is gonna go. Life goes the
Speaker 1: way that it goes. Second, seeing the ring comes to
Speaker 1: us from alchemy v I P. Pat scene, Pat says,
Speaker 1: hey gang scene suggestion. The people and their auditions for
Speaker 1: the canned laugh tracks on comedy shows. The people and
Speaker 1: their auditions for the can laugh tracks on comedy shows.
Speaker 1: Keep up the amazing job, Pat. Great, I see from
Speaker 1: your head shot here that you did lear on Broadway?
Speaker 1: Is that true? This? Wowd leerd leer many times? How
Speaker 1: that is? That is great? Can you can you? Um,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give
Speaker 1: any notes yet. B wins and crack wow for this weird,
Speaker 1: just looking for sort of a gentle titter like like.
Speaker 1: It's not the funniest joke of the of the scene,
Speaker 1: but you know it made you laugh a little. All right,
Speaker 1: are we rolling? Whenever you're ready? Who? Wow? Do you
Speaker 1: mind if I give you a little adjustment? Yes? Please,
Speaker 1: I I enjoy a direction. Imagine, okay, imagine in this
Speaker 1: moment that you are Prince Hamlet, and Prince Hamlet has
Speaker 1: just seen that he's also played Hamlet. Congratulations, I see
Speaker 1: it right here. It's actually six lines on your resume.
Speaker 1: It just you've played all of these characters in Hamlet. Yes,
Speaker 1: I played Gertrude, now Claudius, that's Horatio. I played ros
Speaker 1: and Grants and Gilderstein. Gilderstein, this this, this is. It
Speaker 1: looks like these are all from the same production. Is
Speaker 1: that did you do these all at once? I one
Speaker 1: man Hamlet? That is that's impressive. So this time some
Speaker 1: would say I'm patting my resume, but I I'm proud
Speaker 1: of all that. I take everything that comes across my
Speaker 1: desk at face value. If you say you did it,
Speaker 1: you did it, and I am excited for you. I
Speaker 1: just like a gentle titter like it's a kind of
Speaker 1: a kind of funny thing happened. I don't know, can
Speaker 1: you can you say something funny to just to cue me,
Speaker 1: mildly funny, something mildly funny. Uh sure? How about Um,
Speaker 1: I just flew in from Stratford upon Avon and uh
Speaker 1: boy or my arms tired? Oh good sir. This is
Speaker 1: my It's like my second acting class. The first one
Speaker 1: was like more on camera stuff, so I'm trying to
Speaker 1: work on my voice stuff as well. Just really I
Speaker 1: want to be like, you know, ready to go in
Speaker 1: any situation. It's actually really hard to break out into
Speaker 1: the theater, so I just know that it's a little
Speaker 1: bit easier to do the whole on camera thing. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I feel like they're just they're just different. But what
Speaker 1: do I know if you're just looking to round it out,
Speaker 1: but if you're looking to um build up your resume,
Speaker 1: just be aware, you know, this is pretty cutthroat this
Speaker 1: class or this this industry in general, this class and
Speaker 1: this industry both Well, I've got a thick skin and um,
Speaker 1: I've got some range, as they say, so I'm really
Speaker 1: looking forward to just like you know, working with the
Speaker 1: master himself or herself. He's incredible. He's absolutely incredible, and
Speaker 1: he does pick favorites. He does. Oh yeah, you're obviously
Speaker 1: we're are one of his favor are your t a
Speaker 1: or no? I've just been taking this class for the
Speaker 1: past eight years. Eight years. Yeah, So you know, he
Speaker 1: knows me, and I know him, and he knows my
Speaker 1: my power, my strengths, and together we work on my weaknesses.
Speaker 1: I I got a friend who's like always making stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, So that's like I'm working of like putting
Speaker 1: together some like photoge do with that. But right now
Speaker 1: we're working on some like straight up voice stuff. Just knock, knock,
Speaker 1: Who's who's at the door? Who is that? Who's at
Speaker 1: the door? Why it's me? Both is a mackintrick, Shakespearean actor,
Speaker 1: voice teacher. Just sorry, I'm late. I just came from
Speaker 1: a gig. Oh I've been hired to provide laughter for
Speaker 1: for multi camera sitcoms with prerecorded laugh tracks. Are we
Speaker 1: going to be working on that in here? Why don't we?
Speaker 1: Why don't we? So? I prepared my my monologues, okay,
Speaker 1: contrasting trasting monolog minds contemporary at You're a new face,
Speaker 1: are you not? Yes? Yes, yes, sir, Yes, sir, don't
Speaker 1: bother telling me your name. I won't learn it. And
Speaker 1: you you've been you've been here before. I live here practically, yes, yes, Well,
Speaker 1: why don't you do your first monologue? Great? Okay, great,
Speaker 1: you're not going to do the whole voice thing. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to practice some of my canned laughs as
Speaker 1: you do. Why don't you do your comedy monologue first? Okay,
Speaker 1: and I will regale you with laughter. Okay, great, and
Speaker 1: here it goes class. Everybody pay attention to me, look
Speaker 1: up at me. Now you are a new here. But
Speaker 1: so no, no, just continue a monologue. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to pepper pepper and laughs. Doesn't sure whether you're trying
Speaker 1: to give me notes at the same time. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: keep going. I was delivering a mild titter. Okay, great.
Speaker 1: My name is miss Wasta. But that's w A s
Speaker 1: t A b A. That's pronounced wall star. Ah, that's
Speaker 1: walls and water f t asn't tatar star was Oh boy,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is so crazy. I'm like a
Speaker 1: huge fan. I know it's just the same audition, but like,
Speaker 1: I love you, I'm a huge fan of yours. H
Speaker 1: what what do you know me from your student? Like,
Speaker 1: I'm in your classes and you looked you looked, you
Speaker 1: looked familiar. Now here we are the same roll? Roll?
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna bring you both in at the
Speaker 1: same time on this one. If that's okay, we're running
Speaker 1: a little up, we're running a little late you guys,
Speaker 1: mast and student U sure cut, come on in, both
Speaker 1: of you. Great, so thank you for coming in h
Speaker 1: in this scene right here. We're what we're going to need.
Speaker 1: We'll just go one at a time, and we just
Speaker 1: want the sound that's made on a sitcom. When the
Speaker 1: will they won't they couple kisses the first time? All right?
Speaker 1: Does everybody have that? You're ready? And who's going first baths?
Speaker 1: Mckintrick or this fellow? Um, why don't we start with
Speaker 1: Why don't we start with this fellow? What's your name? Um?
Speaker 1: Won't let it? Uh? Kyle? Okay, Kyle? Whenever you're ready?
Speaker 1: M hmm, will you give me a brief leading a scenario?
Speaker 1: Where's the first kiss? Sure? Thank you so much. That
Speaker 1: was great. That was great? Thanks? Now? Um? Uh, balth
Speaker 1: is our just about is it? It's Mr Experience actor
Speaker 1: voice teacher can laugh track master whenever you're ready. M hm, whoa, Shannon,
Speaker 1: He's never going to learn your name. I mean, you
Speaker 1: were working on the lot to bury whatever that is
Speaker 1: monologue for months and he he gave you a mild gaffall.
Speaker 1: That was it. That's what was so hurtful. I'm used
Speaker 1: to not hearing laughs. That's fine, if you don't want
Speaker 1: to laugh, that's fine, But to verbalize it like that
Speaker 1: was so mocking to me. And but now I'm starting
Speaker 1: to think he's doing this on purpose because he knows
Speaker 1: that my dramatic piece, my dramatic monologue is me having
Speaker 1: to feel less than and confronting a father figure about
Speaker 1: never being good enough. And maybe he's just trying to
Speaker 1: spur that within me, and he thinks he probably thinks
Speaker 1: I'm great. I was just trying to spurre that with me.
Speaker 1: Or it's time to move on to his acting class
Speaker 1: that you've been it for years, Balthazar. It's really nice
Speaker 1: to have you in now. This is a big network,
Speaker 1: as you know, it's one of the biggest networks in
Speaker 1: TV land. You know, it's not TV Lander network. It's
Speaker 1: just I'm just saying, I don't know. I thought this
Speaker 1: was no, no, no, so uh, here's the thing. We've
Speaker 1: received a handful of your auditions, and well, we love
Speaker 1: we love it, we love it. And as a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, we are here to pitch you on a
Speaker 1: show idea that would be Greenland. If you accept, we'll
Speaker 1: shoot twenty three episodes right now. If you say yes,
Speaker 1: here's the idea. All right, I'm waiting. You're the actor
Speaker 1: and you're the canned laughter. Let it digests, let it,
Speaker 1: let us sink in. You've understand we're competing with these
Speaker 1: streaming services now right. You know they're they're they're they're
Speaker 1: flipping the script as it were. They're they're they're trying things.
Speaker 1: And you know, we're old and the script, the script
Speaker 1: is king the words of the bar. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Anyone here wants to do unscripted work,
Speaker 1: it's bullshit. There's no art in that unscripted You know that, right?
Speaker 1: But can I see what you've written here? May I?
Speaker 1: May I essay an attempt? This is our screenwriter right here.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, I won't learn your name.
Speaker 1: He well, let me see who's at the door. Why
Speaker 1: it's my neighbor Barrel Prescott, who what what O? Good?
Speaker 1: Sir Ah. I know it's hard to determine which is
Speaker 1: the dialogue my reaction, but what we know, you know
Speaker 1: this is great. I saw you do your one man Hamlet,
Speaker 1: your woman Romeo and Juliet. You're one man twelve Night,
Speaker 1: and like, we just thought that this one man show
Speaker 1: for you on the network would just be amazing, and
Speaker 1: it is. I mean, you're bringing my words to life.
Speaker 1: Did you enjoy in Romeo and Juliet when I deflowered myself?
Speaker 1: Now those are This is also a little unorthodox. But
Speaker 1: we understand that you teach the classes, is that right? Yes,
Speaker 1: if that could be a teaching element to this, well,
Speaker 1: not necessarily. But there's one other character, just just one
Speaker 1: that we'd like to hand out to, maybe one of
Speaker 1: your best students, somebody you've known for a while. Uh,
Speaker 1: someone that you have a real, real rapport with, so
Speaker 1: you could bounce off of each other. Okay, nobody comes
Speaker 1: to mind. Nobody comes to mind. Well, maybe maybe I
Speaker 1: think you teach tonight Tonight's Wednesday Night, Right, you teach teaching, Burbank,
Speaker 1: I do, Okay, so maybe I do. I teach it
Speaker 1: a former Storage Locker and Jenny Punskansky. And do you
Speaker 1: also need me to say my uh, my resume, my
Speaker 1: experience in my slate or just the name. That's alright,
Speaker 1: miss Pistonski. Um, we can just go right ahead and
Speaker 1: and uh and you can jump right into the scenes.
Speaker 1: Has I've taken eight years of dramatic arts that storage
Speaker 1: locker and Burbank. I see that, and I see that. Um,
Speaker 1: that's you just wrote that on your resume. Well, I
Speaker 1: haven't really big, Yes, I haven't gotten That's where I
Speaker 1: do my acting. That's where I do most of my
Speaker 1: acting thus far. But I'd love to I'd love to
Speaker 1: add this to the to the to the resume. I
Speaker 1: would love to add this. Wow, it's it's actually resume. Um,
Speaker 1: but we will. Let's go ahead, and I'd like you
Speaker 1: to take a look at the point in the story
Speaker 1: where it's going between act two and Act three, and
Speaker 1: a big bit of information has just been veiled by
Speaker 1: Balthazar to Balthazar, and we want you to see if
Speaker 1: we can compliment what Balthazar did in the In the
Speaker 1: initial recording of yeah, he started interrupt I'm so I'm
Speaker 1: in the middle of anhoe I'm so sorry to interrupt.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to interrupt. Um network wants to turn
Speaker 1: this into a chemistry read both is our here? He's here.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to interrupt. Oh no, that's that's totally fine.
Speaker 1: Well knock, knock, knock. Who's there? Wells the door while
Speaker 1: it's me Mr chist and chemistry. Yes we are, and
Speaker 1: and and how lucky to have such rapport already. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm Balthazar by the way, Yes, yes, I'm in your
Speaker 1: Wednesday night class. Have been for a used Jenny's say
Speaker 1: that last thanks and spellered forward T A S T
Speaker 1: K I K I S C H I. I won't
Speaker 1: learn that dame. I can guarantee you I won't learn
Speaker 1: that name. Ah, let's commence. I'm so sorry, I am
Speaker 1: so sorry. What there's been some changes, and screenwriters here
Speaker 1: implement some of those. If I swear, if you interrupt
Speaker 1: one more time, I'm going completely Texas on you. All right,
Speaker 1: It's okay, Look, it's I mean, look, you're from the network,
Speaker 1: so you get to do whatever you want, so bring
Speaker 1: the screenwriter in. As always, I will respect the written word. Sorry, okay,
Speaker 1: so here the changes? Um, wait, really quick, both star. Um,
Speaker 1: did you do your solo production of The Tempest back
Speaker 1: in Akron? And yes, yes, that was me. Did you
Speaker 1: meet a young lady there? Um that might have gone
Speaker 1: backstage and um sounds like me. Yes, I think you're
Speaker 1: my dad. What that's what we needed to Matchine, that's
Speaker 1: what we need to Matchine. That's our show. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: All right, Um, I mean come on, that's fun. We're
Speaker 1: having fun. We're having fun. Looking at my notes, uh
Speaker 1: and it says and that's our show and that's true.
Speaker 1: Let's thank all of our alchemists. Shall we see what
Speaker 1: we're up to. Cole Stratton, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us. Where can we find you? What's going on? Well?
Speaker 1: I guess my neighborhood is burning down right now, so
Speaker 1: it might be my last episode ever. I do live
Speaker 1: on a very busy street. Uh, not so much at Stratton.
Speaker 1: Cole at Cole Stratton on the Socials SF Sketch Fest
Speaker 1: coming back in January from the previous January. We'll do
Speaker 1: shows eventually. Uh, pretty Pretty Pony first Thursday every month
Speaker 1: the Westside Comedy Theater. Yeah, that's about it. Awesome, Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for being here. Jackie Druthy was I'll never
Speaker 1: get over that. I do it. I do it to
Speaker 1: everyone who calls me. It's so, I'll never let it go.
Speaker 1: I love a good commercial. I really like a lot
Speaker 1: of good ad campaign just makes me go all right,
Speaker 1: you got me there. I'm at Jackie d Ruthie on
Speaker 1: Instagram and that's where I post when I have shows
Speaker 1: much like the Pretty Pretty Pony Show, um and things
Speaker 1: like that. So lots of fun things to look forward to.
Speaker 1: Keep your eyes peeled. Okay, we'll do Craig Atkowski, Why man,
Speaker 1: I love this so much? Well, of course, my favorite
Speaker 1: ad campaign is for Arby's, uh you know, the voice
Speaker 1: of being saying we have the meats. But a lot
Speaker 1: of people think that RBS would stand for Roast Beef
Speaker 1: right being their signature product RB. But in fact it
Speaker 1: was founded in Boardman, Ohio by Forest and Leroy Raffle,
Speaker 1: the Raffle Brothers, the rs B, the RBS. The RB
Speaker 1: stands for Raffle Brothers, not Roast Base. I thought someone's
Speaker 1: name r B a r B. Can we get about
Speaker 1: there doing what's up? I think we need to hear
Speaker 1: that what's up? Cool? That was perfect and last but
Speaker 1: not Lea's Mark Gagliardi give me outway. It feels good,
Speaker 1: It feels good, it feels good. Oh, what's going on? Uh?
Speaker 1: You can find uh we got this with Mark and
Speaker 1: Howe on the Maximum Fun Network. Uh. And look out
Speaker 1: for Blood and Treasure season two coming out soon. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: indeed yeah, And thanks for and you didn't Are you
Speaker 1: crushed it today? Chris? Oh my gosh, thanks so much,
Speaker 1: thanks so much, and let's thank our engineer and produce
Speaker 1: it to the stars Mr Doug and the fine folks
Speaker 1: at I Heeart Media. I have been your host, Chris Albarado,
Speaker 1: and I thank you for listening, and until next time
Speaker 1: at a football of co