WEBVTT - Calls for Help from the #SuckArmy

0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Hell I Suck at Dating with de Nungler and Jared

0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:11.039
<v Speaker 1>Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up? Everyone. Welcome

0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.000
<v Speaker 1>to an all new episode of Help I Suck at Dating.

0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:17.680
<v Speaker 1>It is Thursday, I believe it's some day of the week,

0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:21.080
<v Speaker 1>and this episode is our special caller episode that we've

0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:23.520
<v Speaker 1>been doing lately. We'll take a couple of calls from

0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:25.400
<v Speaker 1>a couple of listeners that are dealing with some things

0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.680
<v Speaker 1>in their lives dating related, hopefully um and see if

0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:30.960
<v Speaker 1>we can't help them solve the issue. So we're gonna

0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:35.280
<v Speaker 1>get to our first caller here, and his name is Seth. Hey, Seth,

0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:39.520
<v Speaker 1>how's it going? Hey? Pretty good in you? We're doing good?

0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:43.680
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for joining us. What's going on over there? Uh? Yeah?

0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:50.199
<v Speaker 1>I basically wanted to figure out I've been into this

0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.360
<v Speaker 1>girl and keep wanting to make plans to hang out,

0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:57.520
<v Speaker 1>and I've reached out multiple times to go on another day,

0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.720
<v Speaker 1>and I know she's busy since she's a nurse, but

0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:07.280
<v Speaker 1>she she said no because of work, because of being tired,

0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:11.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, all the above every time, and my friend

0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:13.880
<v Speaker 1>keeps telling me if she wants to see you, she'll

0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.760
<v Speaker 1>make time. So I'm wondering is this true for me?

0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.280
<v Speaker 1>Or like, do I let her make the effort? Now?

0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.800
<v Speaker 1>M what do you think? Yeah? I mean it sounds

0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.160
<v Speaker 1>like she's making excuses. Seth. I think you should uh

0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:30.680
<v Speaker 1>talk to someone who wants to invest as much time

0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:33.520
<v Speaker 1>into you as you want to invest into them. That

0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.520
<v Speaker 1>would be my advice. Sounds like she's making excusive I

0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.080
<v Speaker 1>agree with your friend. She wants to make time for you,

0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:39.720
<v Speaker 1>should make time for you. But Jared, she's a nurse,

0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.640
<v Speaker 1>she's a busy girl. What do you like doesn't have

0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:44.920
<v Speaker 1>the time. Let's fast forward this, right, Seth. You get

0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.520
<v Speaker 1>into a relationship with this girl, your feelings grow either

0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.360
<v Speaker 1>more and then you guys aren't hanging out as much

0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.680
<v Speaker 1>because she's working so much. Then there's resentment because you're

0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:57.280
<v Speaker 1>not getting your you know, needs filled. It's just a

0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.040
<v Speaker 1>whole thing. I don't know. It seems like it's started

0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.680
<v Speaker 1>off on a rocky road here. Hey, Seth, I got

0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.640
<v Speaker 1>a question for you. How how well do you guys

0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:05.040
<v Speaker 1>know each other? Have you guys gone on a couple

0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:06.560
<v Speaker 1>of dates? Are you just in there like that pre

0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:12.320
<v Speaker 1>date texting phase? Yeah? Like you know, we we met

0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.920
<v Speaker 1>through a couple of friends and you know, I you know,

0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.239
<v Speaker 1>decided to shoot my shot, me my move, and um,

0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, we got We We've done a couple of

0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:25.040
<v Speaker 1>things that are kind of like, I don't know, borderline,

0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Like like we went out and did karaoke together once

0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:30.440
<v Speaker 1>because she she you know, likes you know, having some

0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.200
<v Speaker 1>fun at some different bars, and so I thought that

0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:35.520
<v Speaker 1>would be fun to do. And then um, we went

0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:40.560
<v Speaker 1>out dancing together once. Um, but it's it's been kind

0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.680
<v Speaker 1>of gray, like like I know she knows I'm asking

0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:47.040
<v Speaker 1>her out, but it almost feels like I can't tell

0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:51.079
<v Speaker 1>for friends or if she's kind of like knowing where

0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:53.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming from, you know what I mean? Yeah, I

0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.400
<v Speaker 1>know what you mean. Have you guys, um, have you

0:02:55.400 --> 0:03:00.320
<v Speaker 1>guys kissed at all or anything like that? On the

0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:06.600
<v Speaker 1>cheek that's almost more romantic than on the lips, I think, yeah, yeah,

0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:10.840
<v Speaker 1>So like this is where I mean, it's like it's

0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:14.400
<v Speaker 1>so borderline that it could be friends still, but I think,

0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:16.959
<v Speaker 1>I mean, she has to know, because there's no way.

0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean I've paid for drinks for her before and

0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:24.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, stuff like that, so it's it's I don't know.

0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.960
<v Speaker 1>And then, like I said, now, lately she's just been

0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.919
<v Speaker 1>making excuses. Yeah, that's stuff. I would say. My best

0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.400
<v Speaker 1>judgment on this one is that she's got another guy

0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.680
<v Speaker 1>in her life and you might be put on the

0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.360
<v Speaker 1>second string bench here. That's just my guess. It's happened

0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:42.480
<v Speaker 1>to me before happens to the best of us. Uh. Sure,

0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure she's busy at work there. You know, I'm

0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.800
<v Speaker 1>not denying that. But like Jared said, if if she

0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.400
<v Speaker 1>is too busy for you now, she'll probably be too

0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.120
<v Speaker 1>too busy for you later as well. Like let's say,

0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:55.200
<v Speaker 1>if you guys get into a relationship. Um, so yeah,

0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.280
<v Speaker 1>I would say maybe, like, if you're really interested in her,

0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.720
<v Speaker 1>stay in touch, But I would say, don't get hung

0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.640
<v Speaker 1>up on it, because it sounds like she might have

0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:04.880
<v Speaker 1>other prospects that she might be more interested in. In

0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:06.720
<v Speaker 1>my opinion, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong,

0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.560
<v Speaker 1>but I think i'm right. I feel the same like

0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.240
<v Speaker 1>I hope you're wrong, but I think you're right to

0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, man, it's yeah, but seth, Hey, I

0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:16.599
<v Speaker 1>believe in your man, you got this. Just stick to

0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:18.760
<v Speaker 1>your guns, be a good guy, and you'll figure it out.

0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.640
<v Speaker 1>But thank you so much for calling. Best of luck.

0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.360
<v Speaker 1>We can't wait to hopefully we can hear back from

0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:26.200
<v Speaker 1>you later on. And here that you guys getting married

0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:33.960
<v Speaker 1>having kids? Yeah later yea, thanks Seth. All right, Next up, Jared,

0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.000
<v Speaker 1>before we get to Sarah. We got Sarah coming in.

0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.960
<v Speaker 1>She actually might be coming right now. Do you feel

0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.800
<v Speaker 1>better worth giving advice to people as their callers or

0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:44.599
<v Speaker 1>did you prefer as emailers? I feel worse. I don't

0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.719
<v Speaker 1>like talking because I just feel bad. At least with emails,

0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:50.200
<v Speaker 1>I could just express my true feelings. Would be like

0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:53.040
<v Speaker 1>it's like commenting on Instagram versus actually talking to someone

0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:55.400
<v Speaker 1>face to face. I'm like to I thought, I'm not

0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:59.560
<v Speaker 1>sure if it's gonna work out right right? Well, I mean, hey,

0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:01.159
<v Speaker 1>come on, you've got you gotta tell them the truth.

0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:03.680
<v Speaker 1>That's what they need, that's what they're calling in for. Um.

0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Next up, we have Sarah calling and Sarah are you there?

0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.760
<v Speaker 1>My here? Can you hear me? Welcome to the podcast?

0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm good. How are you? We're good? Thank you for

0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.880
<v Speaker 1>joining us. What's going on over there? So? You know?

0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.800
<v Speaker 1>Like to me, I just kind of feel like I'm

0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:25.120
<v Speaker 1>like just so over dealing with these dating apps and

0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:27.840
<v Speaker 1>I've only been doing it for like four months, but

0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.000
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm just not getting like the likes

0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.320
<v Speaker 1>or the messages like from people I would have like

0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:38.160
<v Speaker 1>any interest in you know. Um, So I'm just like wondering,

0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Like I mean, our dating apps really just worth the

0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:44.040
<v Speaker 1>time and the emotional investment that I feel like I've

0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:48.040
<v Speaker 1>already started putting in because I just haven't met anyone

0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.240
<v Speaker 1>on a dating app, Like, it just doesn't feel like

0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:53.680
<v Speaker 1>it's the thing for me. Um. And like my friends,

0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.360
<v Speaker 1>my family, they're like, oh, you know, don't give up.

0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.400
<v Speaker 1>You know the right one is out there for you.

0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:04.120
<v Speaker 1>But it just feels pointless, like I'm just getting exhausted, um,

0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.159
<v Speaker 1>you know, and I'm just thinking, like wondering, like has

0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:09.719
<v Speaker 1>anyone of your friends met their significant others like through

0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.599
<v Speaker 1>a dating app or like even like through I like,

0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, from Instagram, like people d M one. Like,

0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's just kind of what I'm we're on

0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.960
<v Speaker 1>at right now. Right No, I G has definitely kind

0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:23.680
<v Speaker 1>of turned itself into a little bit of a dating app. Well,

0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.360
<v Speaker 1>a funny story for you, Sarah Um you asked if

0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.000
<v Speaker 1>I know anyone that's gotten together over a dating app.

0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:31.320
<v Speaker 1>The answer to that is yes, my brother just married

0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:36.000
<v Speaker 1>his wife who they met on Tinder, and uh it

0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.080
<v Speaker 1>turns out she actually meant to swipe left, which is

0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.480
<v Speaker 1>like a like a no to him, and she accident

0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:44.120
<v Speaker 1>right and now they're married. So dating I's definitely work,

0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:49.039
<v Speaker 1>But I gotta ask what would be your like what's

0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:51.320
<v Speaker 1>your alternative? Like, let's say you get off the dating apps,

0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.520
<v Speaker 1>how do you think And of course if you want

0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.480
<v Speaker 1>to be in a relationship, if you don't have to be,

0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:57.719
<v Speaker 1>but what would be your alternative to meeting guys? Do

0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:59.279
<v Speaker 1>you think would you go out to the bars and

0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:01.920
<v Speaker 1>meet him? Would you mean them, um, in your church

0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:03.400
<v Speaker 1>group or something. I mean, I don't know, like what

0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.240
<v Speaker 1>would your alternative be? Well, I'm not in the church group,

0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:11.280
<v Speaker 1>so I guess that's not my my thing. Um, I guess,

0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.880
<v Speaker 1>like I don't know, I just have this is like

0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.200
<v Speaker 1>old school. You know that you need somebody at a bar,

0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.000
<v Speaker 1>you need somebody like at a party. But you know,

0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.480
<v Speaker 1>I know that, like the dating app is just like

0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.080
<v Speaker 1>what I mean, I feel like every you know, that's

0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.680
<v Speaker 1>just what everyone talks about these days. Um, A part

0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:30.640
<v Speaker 1>of me just feels like maybe you know, I just

0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.240
<v Speaker 1>meet like you know, the meat cute, like at the

0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.760
<v Speaker 1>supermarket or a target, like I guess I just have

0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:38.800
<v Speaker 1>like this false um like or this you know, the

0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.680
<v Speaker 1>entertainment world is just giving me these like meat cute

0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.280
<v Speaker 1>things that I just have an experience like, I just

0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:47.040
<v Speaker 1>feel like I've been so unlucky and love, you know,

0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:50.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean I do. I do think American cinema has

0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of sillly the whole aspect of meeting people because you,

0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.120
<v Speaker 1>like you said, you want to meet cute, you're bump

0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.200
<v Speaker 1>shopping carts at the grocery store going for the same

0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.600
<v Speaker 1>bundle of lettuce or something like that. Um, I mean,

0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.600
<v Speaker 1>Jared I are both fans of dating apps. I think,

0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:05.200
<v Speaker 1>right Jared, we always kind of talk them up a

0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:07.080
<v Speaker 1>little bit. It's a great way to meet people. I

0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:09.520
<v Speaker 1>think the issue is with dating apps it makes people lazy,

0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:11.559
<v Speaker 1>and like you said, you're you're matching with the people

0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.880
<v Speaker 1>that you are not as interested in as the people

0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:15.960
<v Speaker 1>that you really want to meet. So I think it's

0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.320
<v Speaker 1>as as crappy as it as it is to say.

0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.600
<v Speaker 1>It's just like a numbers game where the more like

0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.760
<v Speaker 1>bait you throw out I guess into the water, the

0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:25.120
<v Speaker 1>more chum you throw out on the water. The more

0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:27.000
<v Speaker 1>bites you're gonna get with people that you actually actually

0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.000
<v Speaker 1>might like. Um, but I don't know, that's a tough one.

0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:31.560
<v Speaker 1>It's a tough one for both of us too, because

0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.560
<v Speaker 1>we've been in long term relationships here. But Jared, what

0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.959
<v Speaker 1>do you think? Yeah, I mean dating apps can be difficult,

0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:39.560
<v Speaker 1>but also maybe sire change your like a whole approach

0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:41.520
<v Speaker 1>to a dating app and don't think of as a

0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.240
<v Speaker 1>solution but just something to have fun with and then

0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.880
<v Speaker 1>who knows, maybe someone will come about, because like I

0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:50.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of also disagree with the notion that like old

0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:55.400
<v Speaker 1>school way of meeting someone. It's just things are different now,

0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:57.559
<v Speaker 1>you know, Like my sisters met My sister met her

0:08:57.640 --> 0:08:59.960
<v Speaker 1>husband on a dating app. My cousin met her husb

0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:01.920
<v Speaker 1>on a dating app. Like, dating apps are just a

0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:05.480
<v Speaker 1>part of finding a relationship nowadays. It doesn't mean that

0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:07.080
<v Speaker 1>you have to find a relationship to the app, but

0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:08.680
<v Speaker 1>just like have fun, swipe through see if you guys,

0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:10.439
<v Speaker 1>if you like, like, don't go into it thinking that

0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:12.120
<v Speaker 1>you're going to meet your husband through a dating app.

0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:15.160
<v Speaker 1>Just kind of have fun with it, you know, if

0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.920
<v Speaker 1>you're not swiping through TikTok, swipe through Tinder. I mean,

0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.000
<v Speaker 1>but it's like Tinder, Like, can I just ask you,

0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.040
<v Speaker 1>because like I've done Tinder, and I feel like that

0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:23.959
<v Speaker 1>one is just so much more of a hook up app.

0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.000
<v Speaker 1>Is there one that, like you feel like, are more

0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:28.280
<v Speaker 1>because they feel like there's so many, you know, like

0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:32.360
<v Speaker 1>magic harmony. I say, honestly, I'd say plenty of Fish

0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:34.720
<v Speaker 1>and Hinge are two really good ones. I know that, Like,

0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why plenty of Fish gets a bad rap.

0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:38.440
<v Speaker 1>I think plenty Fish is great. That's where my sister

0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:42.680
<v Speaker 1>mayor her husband and my cousin met her husband. Uh,

0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:48.160
<v Speaker 1>plenty of Fish. I think it's pretty good. Interesting right out, Sarah,

0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:49.920
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you that Tinder does feel more of

0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.800
<v Speaker 1>like a hook up appy. I feel like that's when

0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:54.480
<v Speaker 1>most people are like, oh yeah, like I hooked up

0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:56.719
<v Speaker 1>this guy on Tinder, Like you never hear someone be

0:09:56.800 --> 0:10:00.400
<v Speaker 1>like I married the guy from Tinder. Yeah yeah, yeah.

0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.800
<v Speaker 1>My brother is definitely a spectacle in that sense. Um.

0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:06.080
<v Speaker 1>I would say my two favorites were always Hinge and

0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.800
<v Speaker 1>bumble Um. But I don't know how. You know, times

0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:11.840
<v Speaker 1>might a change, they might be a little bit different nowadays,

0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.199
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, Hinge seems to be at least the overlap there,

0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Hinge in plenty of fish, and maybe Bumble give that

0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.640
<v Speaker 1>a try to. But I said, just keep putting yourself

0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.760
<v Speaker 1>out there. Um, maybe you have one of your friends

0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.839
<v Speaker 1>like diagnose your profile, maybe your profile because use a

0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:25.400
<v Speaker 1>little bit of tinkering, you know, because it's always hard

0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.440
<v Speaker 1>to like describe yourself on those things, especially when it

0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:30.840
<v Speaker 1>comes to like your info page and stuff. Everyone hates that.

0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:32.600
<v Speaker 1>So I have one of your friends that you really

0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.200
<v Speaker 1>trust to look at it maybe and then they can

0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:35.880
<v Speaker 1>offer you some pointers and maybe that will help start

0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.240
<v Speaker 1>attracting the right kind of guy. That's a good idea.

0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.240
<v Speaker 1>I never really thought. I'm always like just so I'm

0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.439
<v Speaker 1>just so nervous for like someone to read my profile.

0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:44.880
<v Speaker 1>But that's a good idea. Just like have like my

0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:47.920
<v Speaker 1>trying to look it over. Yeah, well it's better for

0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.120
<v Speaker 1>a trusted friend to look it over than for a

0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.560
<v Speaker 1>potential partner to see it, not like it and move on,

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, So just just keep it in mind. But um,

0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.280
<v Speaker 1>best of luck. We were hope you nothing but but

0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:01.640
<v Speaker 1>success with Bumble and Hinge and all those apps, or

0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:03.240
<v Speaker 1>just maybe you'll have your meek cute like you really

0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.960
<v Speaker 1>want and um, you know you won't need those apps anymore,

0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.959
<v Speaker 1>So thank you for calling. We appreciate it. Thank you,

0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.360
<v Speaker 1>And Jared, I gotta say I'm very happy we don't

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:27.600
<v Speaker 1>have to be on those apps anymore. The worst. I'm

0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:32.360
<v Speaker 1>a fan of dating apps, but man, being on them,

0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:33.840
<v Speaker 1>the theory of that makes a lot of sense, and

0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:35.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad they're out there for people, but it just

0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.920
<v Speaker 1>does sound a bit exhausting for for for us now.

0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.000
<v Speaker 1>But we have another caller calling in. Her name is

0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:47.880
<v Speaker 1>Taylor right, I'm well, how are you good? Is that?

0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for joining us? What's going on? Your name? Oh?

0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:59.280
<v Speaker 1>His name is hanful hot right now? Hansel? Yeah, it's

0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:06.640
<v Speaker 1>in the cuter. What's going on? Taylor phillis in? Well? Um,

0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, just like everybody else, like the last two

0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.760
<v Speaker 1>or so years, I've had a lot of changes in

0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:19.839
<v Speaker 1>my life. Um, and I have like more anxiety than

0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 1>I have ever had in my life, and I'm I'm

0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:26.080
<v Speaker 1>kind of nervous that that my like mental health will

0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:30.440
<v Speaker 1>just get in the way of of dating. Um, do

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:34.680
<v Speaker 1>you think it's better or it doesn't, like not matter

0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.720
<v Speaker 1>that the person you're dating deals with anxiety and can

0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:41.520
<v Speaker 1>relate or I don't know. No, that's a really good question.

0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.439
<v Speaker 1>That's something that we haven't really talked about much on

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:47.079
<v Speaker 1>this podcast. I feel like, um, and it's a real thing.

0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:51.520
<v Speaker 1>Like obviously people deal with anxiety and stress all the time. UM,

0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:55.440
<v Speaker 1>I would say, what would I say in regards to this,

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Like Kalenklin deals with anxiety every once in a while,

0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.560
<v Speaker 1>and as her partner, the best I can do is

0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:04.520
<v Speaker 1>just like offer my support and be there for her

0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.360
<v Speaker 1>as someone that's experiencing it. In your case, I would

0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.760
<v Speaker 1>hope that like maybe you're you know, going to therapy

0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.160
<v Speaker 1>or doing something at least to help, um, help ease

0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:15.920
<v Speaker 1>it a little bit, you know what I mean? Because

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.120
<v Speaker 1>I think when I would never call it an anxiety

0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 1>and issue, but it's definitely something you want to like

0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.200
<v Speaker 1>to see if you can get a hold of and

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 1>um not be so crippled by it, I guess in

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.400
<v Speaker 1>that sense. But it's definitely good to see people that

0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.280
<v Speaker 1>try to take care of it or like help help

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.840
<v Speaker 1>fix it rather than just like be like this is

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:33.839
<v Speaker 1>this is what it is, and I just have to

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:35.840
<v Speaker 1>deal with it. Like if you just take actionable cost

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.920
<v Speaker 1>to fix it, I think that's a good thing. Um,

0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.080
<v Speaker 1>and if you were dating, you know, someone and they

0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:41.559
<v Speaker 1>saw you doing that, I think that that would be

0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:43.400
<v Speaker 1>a really reassuring thing for them to see as well.

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 1>But um, Jared, what do you think about it? I

0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:52.800
<v Speaker 1>think sometimes I when dealing with anxiety or stress, I

0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.520
<v Speaker 1>forget that the only person that can really solve the

0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:59.199
<v Speaker 1>problem is me. So in my own head, one of

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.600
<v Speaker 1>the ways that I try to deal with it is

0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:05.640
<v Speaker 1>I try to recollect myself and think outside of my

0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>own body and say, okay, listen, the only person that's

0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:10.280
<v Speaker 1>going to solve this issue is you. So either keep

0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.200
<v Speaker 1>living this way and keep living a lesser life than

0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 1>I know I can, or I actually go for the

0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.440
<v Speaker 1>things that I want and work towards those things. Uh.

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.400
<v Speaker 1>And so that's the way I try to deal with

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.720
<v Speaker 1>it now. It's obviously much easier said that done. And

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.680
<v Speaker 1>like Dean said, there's a lot of things to help

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.000
<v Speaker 1>you with that that I've you know that Dean goes therapy.

0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>I've been to therapy, you know, being able to talk

0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.720
<v Speaker 1>to my friends talk through things. You know. Just a

0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:35.360
<v Speaker 1>lot of times when I have things in my head

0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 1>once that I once I expressed them, I realized they're

0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 1>not that difficult of obstacles to overcome, if that makes sense.

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:43.760
<v Speaker 1>Like so many times in my own head, it just

0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 1>builds up. It builds up, and I'm like, how am

0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.320
<v Speaker 1>I going to ever do this? And then I'll be

0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.760
<v Speaker 1>expressing my fears or my stress to other people, and

0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.120
<v Speaker 1>as the words are leaving my mouth, I realized, oh

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.520
<v Speaker 1>wait a minute, I can deal with this. Now that

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying out loud, I've realized that I am able

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:04.080
<v Speaker 1>to handle uh, you know, my emotions for sure. I uh,

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.880
<v Speaker 1>I go to therapy and I'm of the like mindset

0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.800
<v Speaker 1>that you can't complain about it if you're not willing

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.840
<v Speaker 1>to do something about it. Um So, I've been trying

0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 1>to take care of it. But yeah, it's like it's

0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:22.400
<v Speaker 1>just an uphill battle. Um So, I didn't really know,

0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 1>like how do I how do I connect with people

0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.000
<v Speaker 1>when I have this thing that makes me afraid of pronection?

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Have there been any moments where you like personally felt

0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.120
<v Speaker 1>like it's gotten in your way rather than just like assuming.

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 1>Have you Have you seen any like moments where it's

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 1>been like pretty obvious to you that it's been a detriment. Yeah,

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.359
<v Speaker 1>it's just I like the over reading of this situation,

0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 1>like reading into people's facial expressions or like body movement

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.640
<v Speaker 1>language and assuming a thing which I mean, like you

0:15:55.680 --> 0:16:00.000
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't do anyway, but sometimes it's hard not to UM.

0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:04.760
<v Speaker 1>And it's kept me from pursuing people that I'm interested

0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:10.400
<v Speaker 1>in or putting myself in situations in which I might

0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:14.880
<v Speaker 1>find someone I'm interested in. Right, Yeah, that's tough, UM,

0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:16.920
<v Speaker 1>But I really I love what you said to You

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:20.400
<v Speaker 1>can't complain about something unless you're doing something to fix it, right,

0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.960
<v Speaker 1>Like that's that's really well said, really really good idea. UM.

0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:26.920
<v Speaker 1>And so I mean it sounds like to me like

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.800
<v Speaker 1>you're focusing on on bettering yourself and that's exactly what

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 1>you should be doing. UM. And then eventually, you know,

0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.880
<v Speaker 1>the relationships will come as they may, and you know,

0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.080
<v Speaker 1>whomever you end up spending the rest of your life with,

0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.000
<v Speaker 1>I hope that they'll just love you for exactly who

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.880
<v Speaker 1>you are, UM, whether you have curbed the the you

0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:46.720
<v Speaker 1>know everything that's going on, or you're still working on it,

0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:50.480
<v Speaker 1>whatever it might be, that they still accepted you for that. UM.

0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.880
<v Speaker 1>And a lot of times too, it's like it's it's

0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.120
<v Speaker 1>almost not better, but in a lot of ways. It

0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:56.600
<v Speaker 1>can be a good thing to meet someone while you're

0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.600
<v Speaker 1>in like a vulnerable state because it shows you, it

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 1>shows I'm your true colors and allows them to kind

0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.800
<v Speaker 1>of like get a glimpse into, uh, you know, you

0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.200
<v Speaker 1>being a little bit more vulnerable with them. So instead

0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:08.600
<v Speaker 1>of looking at as a negative thing, it could be

0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 1>a positive thing at the end, you know, where someone

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.159
<v Speaker 1>gets to see you for you and and except you

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:17.760
<v Speaker 1>for you even during the lower moments. You know, I

0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:23.040
<v Speaker 1>hadn't thought of that, So thank you. Yeah, of course, Um,

0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:24.920
<v Speaker 1>but best of luck. We wish you nothing but the best.

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 1>Keep going to therapy. We're all doing it and I

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 1>think every literally every person in the world could benefit

0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:32.160
<v Speaker 1>from therapy, so we always advocate for that. And it's

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.200
<v Speaker 1>good to hear that you're doing that for yourself. I'll

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.840
<v Speaker 1>continue to it for myself, Jared, get back into therapy.

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 1>You're blowing it. Um, But thank you so much for

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:41.800
<v Speaker 1>joining us, Thank you for calling in. We appreciate being

0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 1>vulnerable with us. And the best of luck, Thank you

0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:50.000
<v Speaker 1>you too. That's gonna do it for our color portion

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.560
<v Speaker 1>of help. I suck at dating. I like them. I

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.119
<v Speaker 1>it's a little different because like Jared said, you know,

0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:57.560
<v Speaker 1>you want to be a little nicer to the people

0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.760
<v Speaker 1>because they're talking to your face to face versus an

0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 1>email l um. And a lot of times I'll just

0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.919
<v Speaker 1>like start saying stuff before having any idea of what

0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:06.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna like, what my point is I'm trying to

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.480
<v Speaker 1>make is and so I sound like an idiot. But

0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 1>it's fun. We're getting we're getting the hang of it,

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:16.120
<v Speaker 1>we're learning, we're growing, growing pains, growing pains. We're all

0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.000
<v Speaker 1>in pain. We're all in pain. Are the listeners are

0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.720
<v Speaker 1>in pain? Really apologize for that, but once again, thanks

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:23.480
<v Speaker 1>for tuning in to help I Stuck at Dating. Thank

0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.760
<v Speaker 1>you to all the callers calling in. We really appreciate it.

0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Keep calling in, uh, because this segment is not going

0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.119
<v Speaker 1>away anytime soon. And at the end of the day,

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:34.119
<v Speaker 1>as much as I like being mean to everybody, I

0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.040
<v Speaker 1>do love talking to you guys as well. It is

0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:38.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of fun. So uh, once again, thank you

0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:40.359
<v Speaker 1>for listening to the podcast. It meets the world to

0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:42.080
<v Speaker 1>all of us. Make sure you tune in next week

0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.119
<v Speaker 1>or hopefully we also lock just a little less. Follow

0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:47.159
<v Speaker 1>help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or

0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to podcast