Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with de Nungler and Jared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up? Everyone. Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of Help I Suck at Dating.
Speaker 1: It is Thursday, I believe it's some day of the week,
Speaker 1: and this episode is our special caller episode that we've
Speaker 1: been doing lately. We'll take a couple of calls from
Speaker 1: a couple of listeners that are dealing with some things
Speaker 1: in their lives dating related, hopefully um and see if
Speaker 1: we can't help them solve the issue. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: get to our first caller here, and his name is Seth. Hey, Seth,
Speaker 1: how's it going? Hey? Pretty good in you? We're doing good?
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. What's going on over there? Uh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I basically wanted to figure out I've been into this
Speaker 1: girl and keep wanting to make plans to hang out,
Speaker 1: and I've reached out multiple times to go on another day,
Speaker 1: and I know she's busy since she's a nurse, but
Speaker 1: she she said no because of work, because of being tired,
Speaker 1: you know, all the above every time, and my friend
Speaker 1: keeps telling me if she wants to see you, she'll
Speaker 1: make time. So I'm wondering is this true for me?
Speaker 1: Or like, do I let her make the effort? Now?
Speaker 1: M what do you think? Yeah? I mean it sounds
Speaker 1: like she's making excuses. Seth. I think you should uh
Speaker 1: talk to someone who wants to invest as much time
Speaker 1: into you as you want to invest into them. That
Speaker 1: would be my advice. Sounds like she's making excusive I
Speaker 1: agree with your friend. She wants to make time for you,
Speaker 1: should make time for you. But Jared, she's a nurse,
Speaker 1: she's a busy girl. What do you like doesn't have
Speaker 1: the time. Let's fast forward this, right, Seth. You get
Speaker 1: into a relationship with this girl, your feelings grow either
Speaker 1: more and then you guys aren't hanging out as much
Speaker 1: because she's working so much. Then there's resentment because you're
Speaker 1: not getting your you know, needs filled. It's just a
Speaker 1: whole thing. I don't know. It seems like it's started
Speaker 1: off on a rocky road here. Hey, Seth, I got
Speaker 1: a question for you. How how well do you guys
Speaker 1: know each other? Have you guys gone on a couple
Speaker 1: of dates? Are you just in there like that pre
Speaker 1: date texting phase? Yeah? Like you know, we we met
Speaker 1: through a couple of friends and you know, I you know,
Speaker 1: decided to shoot my shot, me my move, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, we got We We've done a couple of
Speaker 1: things that are kind of like, I don't know, borderline,
Speaker 1: Like like we went out and did karaoke together once
Speaker 1: because she she you know, likes you know, having some
Speaker 1: fun at some different bars, and so I thought that
Speaker 1: would be fun to do. And then um, we went
Speaker 1: out dancing together once. Um, but it's it's been kind
Speaker 1: of gray, like like I know she knows I'm asking
Speaker 1: her out, but it almost feels like I can't tell
Speaker 1: for friends or if she's kind of like knowing where
Speaker 1: I'm coming from, you know what I mean? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know what you mean. Have you guys, um, have you
Speaker 1: guys kissed at all or anything like that? On the
Speaker 1: cheek that's almost more romantic than on the lips, I think, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So like this is where I mean, it's like it's
Speaker 1: so borderline that it could be friends still, but I think,
Speaker 1: I mean, she has to know, because there's no way.
Speaker 1: I mean I've paid for drinks for her before and
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that, so it's it's I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then, like I said, now, lately she's just been
Speaker 1: making excuses. Yeah, that's stuff. I would say. My best
Speaker 1: judgment on this one is that she's got another guy
Speaker 1: in her life and you might be put on the
Speaker 1: second string bench here. That's just my guess. It's happened
Speaker 1: to me before happens to the best of us. Uh. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's busy at work there. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: not denying that. But like Jared said, if if she
Speaker 1: is too busy for you now, she'll probably be too
Speaker 1: too busy for you later as well. Like let's say,
Speaker 1: if you guys get into a relationship. Um, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say maybe, like, if you're really interested in her,
Speaker 1: stay in touch, But I would say, don't get hung
Speaker 1: up on it, because it sounds like she might have
Speaker 1: other prospects that she might be more interested in. In
Speaker 1: my opinion, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: but I think i'm right. I feel the same like
Speaker 1: I hope you're wrong, but I think you're right to
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, it's yeah, but seth, Hey, I
Speaker 1: believe in your man, you got this. Just stick to
Speaker 1: your guns, be a good guy, and you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: But thank you so much for calling. Best of luck.
Speaker 1: We can't wait to hopefully we can hear back from
Speaker 1: you later on. And here that you guys getting married
Speaker 1: having kids? Yeah later yea, thanks Seth. All right, Next up, Jared,
Speaker 1: before we get to Sarah. We got Sarah coming in.
Speaker 1: She actually might be coming right now. Do you feel
Speaker 1: better worth giving advice to people as their callers or
Speaker 1: did you prefer as emailers? I feel worse. I don't
Speaker 1: like talking because I just feel bad. At least with emails,
Speaker 1: I could just express my true feelings. Would be like
Speaker 1: it's like commenting on Instagram versus actually talking to someone
Speaker 1: face to face. I'm like to I thought, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if it's gonna work out right right? Well, I mean, hey,
Speaker 1: come on, you've got you gotta tell them the truth.
Speaker 1: That's what they need, that's what they're calling in for. Um.
Speaker 1: Next up, we have Sarah calling and Sarah are you there?
Speaker 1: My here? Can you hear me? Welcome to the podcast?
Speaker 1: I'm good. How are you? We're good? Thank you for
Speaker 1: joining us. What's going on over there? So? You know?
Speaker 1: Like to me, I just kind of feel like I'm
Speaker 1: like just so over dealing with these dating apps and
Speaker 1: I've only been doing it for like four months, but
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just not getting like the likes
Speaker 1: or the messages like from people I would have like
Speaker 1: any interest in you know. Um, So I'm just like wondering,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, our dating apps really just worth the
Speaker 1: time and the emotional investment that I feel like I've
Speaker 1: already started putting in because I just haven't met anyone
Speaker 1: on a dating app, Like, it just doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: it's the thing for me. Um. And like my friends,
Speaker 1: my family, they're like, oh, you know, don't give up.
Speaker 1: You know the right one is out there for you.
Speaker 1: But it just feels pointless, like I'm just getting exhausted, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm just thinking, like wondering, like has
Speaker 1: anyone of your friends met their significant others like through
Speaker 1: a dating app or like even like through I like,
Speaker 1: you know, from Instagram, like people d M one. Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just kind of what I'm we're on
Speaker 1: at right now. Right No, I G has definitely kind
Speaker 1: of turned itself into a little bit of a dating app. Well,
Speaker 1: a funny story for you, Sarah Um you asked if
Speaker 1: I know anyone that's gotten together over a dating app.
Speaker 1: The answer to that is yes, my brother just married
Speaker 1: his wife who they met on Tinder, and uh it
Speaker 1: turns out she actually meant to swipe left, which is
Speaker 1: like a like a no to him, and she accident
Speaker 1: right and now they're married. So dating I's definitely work,
Speaker 1: But I gotta ask what would be your like what's
Speaker 1: your alternative? Like, let's say you get off the dating apps,
Speaker 1: how do you think And of course if you want
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship, if you don't have to be,
Speaker 1: but what would be your alternative to meeting guys? Do
Speaker 1: you think would you go out to the bars and
Speaker 1: meet him? Would you mean them, um, in your church
Speaker 1: group or something. I mean, I don't know, like what
Speaker 1: would your alternative be? Well, I'm not in the church group,
Speaker 1: so I guess that's not my my thing. Um, I guess,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I just have this is like
Speaker 1: old school. You know that you need somebody at a bar,
Speaker 1: you need somebody like at a party. But you know,
Speaker 1: I know that, like the dating app is just like
Speaker 1: what I mean, I feel like every you know, that's
Speaker 1: just what everyone talks about these days. Um, A part
Speaker 1: of me just feels like maybe you know, I just
Speaker 1: meet like you know, the meat cute, like at the
Speaker 1: supermarket or a target, like I guess I just have
Speaker 1: like this false um like or this you know, the
Speaker 1: entertainment world is just giving me these like meat cute
Speaker 1: things that I just have an experience like, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I've been so unlucky and love, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean I do. I do think American cinema has
Speaker 1: kind of sillly the whole aspect of meeting people because you,
Speaker 1: like you said, you want to meet cute, you're bump
Speaker 1: shopping carts at the grocery store going for the same
Speaker 1: bundle of lettuce or something like that. Um, I mean,
Speaker 1: Jared I are both fans of dating apps. I think,
Speaker 1: right Jared, we always kind of talk them up a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's a great way to meet people. I
Speaker 1: think the issue is with dating apps it makes people lazy,
Speaker 1: and like you said, you're you're matching with the people
Speaker 1: that you are not as interested in as the people
Speaker 1: that you really want to meet. So I think it's
Speaker 1: as as crappy as it as it is to say.
Speaker 1: It's just like a numbers game where the more like
Speaker 1: bait you throw out I guess into the water, the
Speaker 1: more chum you throw out on the water. The more
Speaker 1: bites you're gonna get with people that you actually actually
Speaker 1: might like. Um, but I don't know, that's a tough one.
Speaker 1: It's a tough one for both of us too, because
Speaker 1: we've been in long term relationships here. But Jared, what
Speaker 1: do you think? Yeah, I mean dating apps can be difficult,
Speaker 1: but also maybe sire change your like a whole approach
Speaker 1: to a dating app and don't think of as a
Speaker 1: solution but just something to have fun with and then
Speaker 1: who knows, maybe someone will come about, because like I
Speaker 1: kind of also disagree with the notion that like old
Speaker 1: school way of meeting someone. It's just things are different now,
Speaker 1: you know, Like my sisters met My sister met her
Speaker 1: husband on a dating app. My cousin met her husb
Speaker 1: on a dating app. Like, dating apps are just a
Speaker 1: part of finding a relationship nowadays. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you have to find a relationship to the app, but
Speaker 1: just like have fun, swipe through see if you guys,
Speaker 1: if you like, like, don't go into it thinking that
Speaker 1: you're going to meet your husband through a dating app.
Speaker 1: Just kind of have fun with it, you know, if
Speaker 1: you're not swiping through TikTok, swipe through Tinder. I mean,
Speaker 1: but it's like Tinder, Like, can I just ask you,
Speaker 1: because like I've done Tinder, and I feel like that
Speaker 1: one is just so much more of a hook up app.
Speaker 1: Is there one that, like you feel like, are more
Speaker 1: because they feel like there's so many, you know, like
Speaker 1: magic harmony. I say, honestly, I'd say plenty of Fish
Speaker 1: and Hinge are two really good ones. I know that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know why plenty of Fish gets a bad rap.
Speaker 1: I think plenty Fish is great. That's where my sister
Speaker 1: mayor her husband and my cousin met her husband. Uh,
Speaker 1: plenty of Fish. I think it's pretty good. Interesting right out, Sarah,
Speaker 1: I agree with you that Tinder does feel more of
Speaker 1: like a hook up appy. I feel like that's when
Speaker 1: most people are like, oh yeah, like I hooked up
Speaker 1: this guy on Tinder, Like you never hear someone be
Speaker 1: like I married the guy from Tinder. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: My brother is definitely a spectacle in that sense. Um.
Speaker 1: I would say my two favorites were always Hinge and
Speaker 1: bumble Um. But I don't know how. You know, times
Speaker 1: might a change, they might be a little bit different nowadays,
Speaker 1: But yeah, Hinge seems to be at least the overlap there,
Speaker 1: Hinge in plenty of fish, and maybe Bumble give that
Speaker 1: a try to. But I said, just keep putting yourself
Speaker 1: out there. Um, maybe you have one of your friends
Speaker 1: like diagnose your profile, maybe your profile because use a
Speaker 1: little bit of tinkering, you know, because it's always hard
Speaker 1: to like describe yourself on those things, especially when it
Speaker 1: comes to like your info page and stuff. Everyone hates that.
Speaker 1: So I have one of your friends that you really
Speaker 1: trust to look at it maybe and then they can
Speaker 1: offer you some pointers and maybe that will help start
Speaker 1: attracting the right kind of guy. That's a good idea.
Speaker 1: I never really thought. I'm always like just so I'm
Speaker 1: just so nervous for like someone to read my profile.
Speaker 1: But that's a good idea. Just like have like my
Speaker 1: trying to look it over. Yeah, well it's better for
Speaker 1: a trusted friend to look it over than for a
Speaker 1: potential partner to see it, not like it and move on,
Speaker 1: you know, So just just keep it in mind. But um,
Speaker 1: best of luck. We were hope you nothing but but
Speaker 1: success with Bumble and Hinge and all those apps, or
Speaker 1: just maybe you'll have your meek cute like you really
Speaker 1: want and um, you know you won't need those apps anymore,
Speaker 1: So thank you for calling. We appreciate it. Thank you,
Speaker 1: And Jared, I gotta say I'm very happy we don't
Speaker 1: have to be on those apps anymore. The worst. I'm
Speaker 1: a fan of dating apps, but man, being on them,
Speaker 1: the theory of that makes a lot of sense, and
Speaker 1: I'm glad they're out there for people, but it just
Speaker 1: does sound a bit exhausting for for for us now.
Speaker 1: But we have another caller calling in. Her name is
Speaker 1: Taylor right, I'm well, how are you good? Is that?
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us? What's going on? Your name? Oh?
Speaker 1: His name is hanful hot right now? Hansel? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: in the cuter. What's going on? Taylor phillis in? Well? Um,
Speaker 1: you know, just like everybody else, like the last two
Speaker 1: or so years, I've had a lot of changes in
Speaker 1: my life. Um, and I have like more anxiety than
Speaker 1: I have ever had in my life, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: kind of nervous that that my like mental health will
Speaker 1: just get in the way of of dating. Um, do
Speaker 1: you think it's better or it doesn't, like not matter
Speaker 1: that the person you're dating deals with anxiety and can
Speaker 1: relate or I don't know. No, that's a really good question.
Speaker 1: That's something that we haven't really talked about much on
Speaker 1: this podcast. I feel like, um, and it's a real thing.
Speaker 1: Like obviously people deal with anxiety and stress all the time. UM,
Speaker 1: I would say, what would I say in regards to this,
Speaker 1: Like Kalenklin deals with anxiety every once in a while,
Speaker 1: and as her partner, the best I can do is
Speaker 1: just like offer my support and be there for her
Speaker 1: as someone that's experiencing it. In your case, I would
Speaker 1: hope that like maybe you're you know, going to therapy
Speaker 1: or doing something at least to help, um, help ease
Speaker 1: it a little bit, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: I think when I would never call it an anxiety
Speaker 1: and issue, but it's definitely something you want to like
Speaker 1: to see if you can get a hold of and
Speaker 1: um not be so crippled by it, I guess in
Speaker 1: that sense. But it's definitely good to see people that
Speaker 1: try to take care of it or like help help
Speaker 1: fix it rather than just like be like this is
Speaker 1: this is what it is, and I just have to
Speaker 1: deal with it. Like if you just take actionable cost
Speaker 1: to fix it, I think that's a good thing. Um,
Speaker 1: and if you were dating, you know, someone and they
Speaker 1: saw you doing that, I think that that would be
Speaker 1: a really reassuring thing for them to see as well.
Speaker 1: But um, Jared, what do you think about it? I
Speaker 1: think sometimes I when dealing with anxiety or stress, I
Speaker 1: forget that the only person that can really solve the
Speaker 1: problem is me. So in my own head, one of
Speaker 1: the ways that I try to deal with it is
Speaker 1: I try to recollect myself and think outside of my
Speaker 1: own body and say, okay, listen, the only person that's
Speaker 1: going to solve this issue is you. So either keep
Speaker 1: living this way and keep living a lesser life than
Speaker 1: I know I can, or I actually go for the
Speaker 1: things that I want and work towards those things. Uh.
Speaker 1: And so that's the way I try to deal with
Speaker 1: it now. It's obviously much easier said that done. And
Speaker 1: like Dean said, there's a lot of things to help
Speaker 1: you with that that I've you know that Dean goes therapy.
Speaker 1: I've been to therapy, you know, being able to talk
Speaker 1: to my friends talk through things. You know. Just a
Speaker 1: lot of times when I have things in my head
Speaker 1: once that I once I expressed them, I realized they're
Speaker 1: not that difficult of obstacles to overcome, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Like so many times in my own head, it just
Speaker 1: builds up. It builds up, and I'm like, how am
Speaker 1: I going to ever do this? And then I'll be
Speaker 1: expressing my fears or my stress to other people, and
Speaker 1: as the words are leaving my mouth, I realized, oh
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I can deal with this. Now that
Speaker 1: I'm saying out loud, I've realized that I am able
Speaker 1: to handle uh, you know, my emotions for sure. I uh,
Speaker 1: I go to therapy and I'm of the like mindset
Speaker 1: that you can't complain about it if you're not willing
Speaker 1: to do something about it. Um So, I've been trying
Speaker 1: to take care of it. But yeah, it's like it's
Speaker 1: just an uphill battle. Um So, I didn't really know,
Speaker 1: like how do I how do I connect with people
Speaker 1: when I have this thing that makes me afraid of pronection?
Speaker 1: Have there been any moments where you like personally felt
Speaker 1: like it's gotten in your way rather than just like assuming.
Speaker 1: Have you Have you seen any like moments where it's
Speaker 1: been like pretty obvious to you that it's been a detriment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just I like the over reading of this situation,
Speaker 1: like reading into people's facial expressions or like body movement
Speaker 1: language and assuming a thing which I mean, like you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do anyway, but sometimes it's hard not to UM.
Speaker 1: And it's kept me from pursuing people that I'm interested
Speaker 1: in or putting myself in situations in which I might
Speaker 1: find someone I'm interested in. Right, Yeah, that's tough, UM,
Speaker 1: But I really I love what you said to You
Speaker 1: can't complain about something unless you're doing something to fix it, right,
Speaker 1: Like that's that's really well said, really really good idea. UM.
Speaker 1: And so I mean it sounds like to me like
Speaker 1: you're focusing on on bettering yourself and that's exactly what
Speaker 1: you should be doing. UM. And then eventually, you know,
Speaker 1: the relationships will come as they may, and you know,
Speaker 1: whomever you end up spending the rest of your life with,
Speaker 1: I hope that they'll just love you for exactly who
Speaker 1: you are, UM, whether you have curbed the the you
Speaker 1: know everything that's going on, or you're still working on it,
Speaker 1: whatever it might be, that they still accepted you for that. UM.
Speaker 1: And a lot of times too, it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: almost not better, but in a lot of ways. It
Speaker 1: can be a good thing to meet someone while you're
Speaker 1: in like a vulnerable state because it shows you, it
Speaker 1: shows I'm your true colors and allows them to kind
Speaker 1: of like get a glimpse into, uh, you know, you
Speaker 1: being a little bit more vulnerable with them. So instead
Speaker 1: of looking at as a negative thing, it could be
Speaker 1: a positive thing at the end, you know, where someone
Speaker 1: gets to see you for you and and except you
Speaker 1: for you even during the lower moments. You know, I
Speaker 1: hadn't thought of that, So thank you. Yeah, of course, Um,
Speaker 1: but best of luck. We wish you nothing but the best.
Speaker 1: Keep going to therapy. We're all doing it and I
Speaker 1: think every literally every person in the world could benefit
Speaker 1: from therapy, so we always advocate for that. And it's
Speaker 1: good to hear that you're doing that for yourself. I'll
Speaker 1: continue to it for myself, Jared, get back into therapy.
Speaker 1: You're blowing it. Um, But thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us, Thank you for calling in. We appreciate being
Speaker 1: vulnerable with us. And the best of luck, Thank you
Speaker 1: you too. That's gonna do it for our color portion
Speaker 1: of help. I suck at dating. I like them. I
Speaker 1: it's a little different because like Jared said, you know,
Speaker 1: you want to be a little nicer to the people
Speaker 1: because they're talking to your face to face versus an
Speaker 1: email l um. And a lot of times I'll just
Speaker 1: like start saying stuff before having any idea of what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like, what my point is I'm trying to
Speaker 1: make is and so I sound like an idiot. But
Speaker 1: it's fun. We're getting we're getting the hang of it,
Speaker 1: we're learning, we're growing, growing pains, growing pains. We're all
Speaker 1: in pain. We're all in pain. Are the listeners are
Speaker 1: in pain? Really apologize for that, but once again, thanks
Speaker 1: for tuning in to help I Stuck at Dating. Thank
Speaker 1: you to all the callers calling in. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Keep calling in, uh, because this segment is not going
Speaker 1: away anytime soon. And at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: as much as I like being mean to everybody, I
Speaker 1: do love talking to you guys as well. It is
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. So uh, once again, thank you
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. It meets the world to
Speaker 1: all of us. Make sure you tune in next week
Speaker 1: or hopefully we also lock just a little less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcast