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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, it's me Tiffany. Wait, meanwhile, let's what

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Speaker 1: I do for my my bad.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I forgot myself. That's usually what I do when

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Speaker 2: I do like a live a Facebook live.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I see your code switching between Tiffany the budget

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Speaker 3: needs to Oh, I see, I see my bad.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, it's me Tiffany with broad ambision and my bad, like,

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Speaker 2: because I just went live.

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Speaker 1: Last night, so clearly I'm in live moon.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, we're back, We're black, We're brown, And I was like,

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Speaker 2: wait a minute, that's not right.

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Speaker 3: Oh so, yeah, welcome to the best month of the year.

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Speaker 1: Yes, super black Andy, Black History.

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Speaker 3: Month, Black could be Black African American Heritage Month, as

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Speaker 3: my local library calls it. I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 3: well they upgraded up.

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Speaker 2: I guess it's better than the Month of the Colored. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I found out my company doesn't give us this is

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Speaker 3: this is not a Black History Month thing. But last

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Speaker 3: month we didn't get MLK Day off. Really, I think

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Speaker 3: about it every year. I'm like, this is kind of lame.

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Speaker 3: We don't get this holiday off. We get President's Day off.

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Speaker 3: It seems like we should get MLK Day off at

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Speaker 3: the same time. We have unlimited PTO like unlimited vacation days,

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Speaker 3: and a lot of companies are doing that now. So

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Speaker 3: I kind of tell myself, well, I wanted to take

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Speaker 3: it off, I could, but then why it just feels

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Speaker 3: like one of those days on the calendar that every

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Speaker 3: company should have off. Yeah, kind of wondering if I

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Speaker 3: should make a stink about it. Why I should make

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Speaker 3: a stick I don't know, like a small stink. Take

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Speaker 3: it up, you know, like bring it up with hr why,

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Speaker 3: you know, just curious why do we not have this

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Speaker 3: holiday off? And you know, because they have changed policies

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Speaker 3: in the past when people just like ask why did

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Speaker 3: we do it this way? So I'm just yeah, I'm

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Speaker 3: wondering because it feels disrespectful, a little disrespectful, right it does?

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Speaker 3: What come?

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Speaker 1: We don't got we ain't got it?

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Speaker 3: No, but sorry, girl, I saw your girl, Cynthia Arrivo

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Speaker 3: at the Oscars. Yes, she sang beautiful. Did not watch it?

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Speaker 3: I felt kind of sad. I usually like to sit down.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why it's such a waste of time

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Speaker 3: to watch the Oscars. Yeah, I usually like to sit

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Speaker 3: down and watch the whole thing. But of course I

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Speaker 3: was in bed by like eight thirty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess she really watched her, Cynthia, I wanted

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Speaker 2: to see her, saying, obviously with she's slay, she got

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Speaker 2: standing Oh and you know she didn't win for I mean,

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Speaker 2: first of all, she was double nominated for I think

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Speaker 2: like Best Song, right.

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Speaker 3: And as original Song for her what does it stand

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Speaker 3: up for?

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Speaker 1: I love her song yep.

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Speaker 3: And then Best Lead Actress the soul black nomine categories.

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Speaker 3: Save them. They're trying to be like, oh, we got

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Speaker 3: saved from being Oscars so white again because Cynthia, I'm like, oh.

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Speaker 1: Not quite. Yeah, that was kind of crazy, but I

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Speaker 1: mean she looked beautiful, she signed.

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Speaker 3: A beautiful What a year for her, I know, and

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Speaker 3: you know what she.

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Speaker 1: Would have wont She would have been an egot because she's.

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Speaker 3: Already that's not surprising.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because you know, like she's you know, very

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Speaker 2: like she kind of rose to to fame.

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Speaker 1: Like playing, is it?

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Speaker 2: Effie said, no, no, not Ethie, girl, I'm thinking about

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Speaker 2: girls playing what's the role on color Color purple?

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Speaker 3: Now you're missing, messing me up. Now I can't remember her,

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Speaker 3: damn it. You know I talked about that play. I

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Speaker 3: talked about that play all that musical with Cynthia in it.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it is color purple.

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Speaker 1: It is color purple?

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Speaker 3: Right Seely is her best friend? What is character?

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Speaker 1: Her name is?

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Speaker 3: Oh? This is really frustrating.

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Speaker 1: It is you know what.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, It's okay. We can't remember all the things.

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Speaker 2: You can blame it on mommy.

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Speaker 3: Brain, beautiful book, beautiful news.

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Speaker 2: Everyone knows that I have the worst memory. So together,

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Speaker 2: we're golden girls. Now that you know what golden girls is,

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Speaker 2: We're golden girls. So it's okay, do you mind you?

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Speaker 2: But I did get to see I was supposed to say,

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Speaker 2: speaking of Lady Oh and her famous role in Color Purple.

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Speaker 2: I got to see Lady Oprah this weekend along with

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Speaker 2: Lady Michelle Obama, my first lady.

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Speaker 3: She went to the what is this? Is this her tour? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the way Watch tour. I'm sorry, w.

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Speaker 1: W w W.

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Speaker 2: Well they don't mind they she said weight watchings then too,

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Speaker 2: but no, Yeah, so Oprah's doing like this tour with

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Speaker 2: weight watches. So as you know, she's like, I guess

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Speaker 2: she's clearly she has to have some ownership and weight

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Speaker 2: Watches because Oprahs is not out here on tour just

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Speaker 2: because oh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean she she took a stake in the

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Speaker 3: company when she became a partner with them. Yeah, she's

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Speaker 3: to win it.

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Speaker 2: And so I had joined w W actually lost like

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Speaker 2: fifteen twenty pounds on it and I gained ten of

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Speaker 2: it back, but whatever.

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Speaker 1: But yeah I did.

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Speaker 2: I mean because at one point I was like, bugging,

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Speaker 2: I'm a Tiffany, you are eating yourself into delirium, and

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Speaker 2: so like I said, yeah, I lost, no you matter

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Speaker 2: of fact, I would say I lost probably a good

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Speaker 2: tour only twenty five pounds and maybe get ten bats.

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Speaker 2: So I've kept fifteen off and I'm still dipping a little.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm being more reasonable with the weight loss now,

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Speaker 2: with like eating more reasonably, and I cut out chicken.

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Speaker 2: I never even me anyways, but I really cut out chicken.

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Speaker 2: And then but I've allowed myself seafood and eating more greens,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm seeing like it kind of reasonably dip down.

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Speaker 2: And I do exercise daily in my downstairs gym, which

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Speaker 2: I love it. Even I tell myself, I don't care

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Speaker 2: if you're in your pajamas and footy slippers walk on

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Speaker 2: a treadmill for ten minutes while talking to your bestie.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean, not on slippers. That sounds sweating,

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Speaker 3: But you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I tell myself that.

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Speaker 2: You tell yourself like, oh, I can't go because I'm

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Speaker 2: like no, no, no, I don't care. And the truth is

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Speaker 2: I keep a pair of sneakers down there on purpose.

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Speaker 2: So that way, I'm like, you have twenty minutes before

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Speaker 2: your next call, go downstairs ten minutes, just walk, walk

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Speaker 2: and like you know, and listen to your favorite podcast

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Speaker 2: for ten minutes and then go upstairs. You don't have

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Speaker 2: to make it a thing tippy. So it's made me

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Speaker 2: exercise more.

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Speaker 3: But I singer in calories and a rocking chair?

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Speaker 1: Do you know your burning calories?

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Speaker 3: Been sitting in a rocking chair? What's that?

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Speaker 1: Breastfeeding? You burn a lot of calories.

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Speaker 3: You do, Yeah, you burn about five hundred depending on

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Speaker 3: like how much milk you produce, Yeah, around five hundred

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Speaker 3: calories per day. And I did. I You know it

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Speaker 3: has helped me. I basically lost the weight that I

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Speaker 3: gained from the baby. What I haven't lost is all

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Speaker 3: the stress weight I gained the year before that with

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Speaker 3: the renovation. I'm still trying to shed my renovation twenty eighteen. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's helped. It's helped. I'm actually going back to work

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Speaker 3: in a week and a half and or actually a

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Speaker 3: week now and about. I'm looking forward to getting back

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Speaker 3: just like my routine from before. I was doing so

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Speaker 3: much movement and so much you know, just moving around

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Speaker 3: and in the city and walking the dog, and I'm

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Speaker 3: ready to get back to it. Man, I feel stronger

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Speaker 3: in a lot of ways, but I feel like my

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Speaker 3: muscles and my legs have a trophied, Like I just

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Speaker 3: feel weaker, and I'm ready to get back. Not to mention,

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Speaker 3: I'd like to see if I can still hold the

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Speaker 3: conversation with like other hamals. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When I used to teach pre school, I used to

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Speaker 1: totally come home and be like, Okay, how are you

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Speaker 1: doing today?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yes, you want I'm like my boyfriend at the time

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Speaker 2: was like, I need you to put away mis Tiffany

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Speaker 2: because I did not speak the regular adults. So I'd

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Speaker 2: be like, stopping, stop it right now, What did I

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Speaker 2: tell you?

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Speaker 1: No? But honestly, it is what I needed.

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Speaker 2: I've been working myself to the boat. Actually this is

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Speaker 2: going live on Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Da Da Da da.

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Speaker 2: The molly More Kickstarter is live. If you go to

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Speaker 2: mollymore dot com and m A. L i More dot com,

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Speaker 2: the kickstarter should be live. And basically you could pre

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Speaker 2: order your book be a the kickstarter, and we're using

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Speaker 2: that money to donate books to kids who don't have

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Speaker 2: access to books at home.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I forgot what the kickstarter is for. Yes,

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Speaker 3: you're raising money to do to donate.

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Speaker 2: To donate books to kids, but it also too because

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Speaker 2: you know, like so last night I actually did like

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Speaker 2: this like live lesson with my friend Angela, this woman

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Speaker 2: and she and I, you know, we wrote the bill

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Speaker 2: that became the Budget Nesta Law to make it mandatory

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Speaker 2: for middle school students to get financial education in New

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Speaker 2: Jersey because New Jersey already had something for high school students.

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Speaker 2: So last night she and I did a live where

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Speaker 2: she walked through how you go from idea to a law.

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Speaker 1: So she really walked through how can you do it

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Speaker 1: in your own state. It was really awesome.

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Speaker 2: You know, if you're listening now, you can go to

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Speaker 2: like the Budget Nesta Facebook page and it should be

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Speaker 2: like pinned to the top of the Facebook page. So

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Speaker 2: I thought to myself as I was like you know,

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Speaker 2: writing up Milly Moore, and I was creating the book,

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Speaker 2: and I knew it was going to be able to

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Speaker 2: allow parents and teachers and stuff to teach what's age

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Speaker 2: appropriate for their child ages three to seven as far

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Speaker 2: as financial education is concerned, because I put those lessons

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Speaker 2: in questions at the back of the book.

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Speaker 1: I thought, but what happens for.

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Speaker 2: Parents who don't live in like a New Jersey where

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Speaker 2: you have access to that at your school. So I

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Speaker 2: wanted to create, like at the on the molly More website,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be hiring the financial educators that we

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Speaker 2: know and love, mandra most of the ones, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to be hiring them the ones who write things

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Speaker 2: for kids and paying them to write additional financial education lessons, activities,

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Speaker 2: curriculum that I can put on molly More and give

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Speaker 2: it away for free.

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Speaker 1: So the kickstarter is to.

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Speaker 2: Hire those teachers to write these lessons, so y'all have

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Speaker 2: a place to go, whether you're a teacher or parent, mom, dad, auntie, uncle, whatever,

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Speaker 2: so you can get access to free age appropriate financial

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Speaker 2: education and to donate.

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Speaker 1: A thousand books to kids.

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Speaker 2: That's those are the two the two purposes of the

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Speaker 2: Kickstarter and I can hear Superman coming up the stairs

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Speaker 2: making my life.

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Speaker 1: I just I don't even like what does this mean?

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Speaker 1: Mandy does he smell?

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Speaker 3: It means it's comforting that something's in life.

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Speaker 1: I don't care where we live, but you know what,

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Speaker 1: one day I do.

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Speaker 2: He's getting better because when he hears me talking, he's

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Speaker 2: assuming I'm not talking to myself. So I heard like

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Speaker 2: I heard the creaky and I heard the stop, Like, wait, Tiffy's.

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Speaker 3: Talking, so is he backtracking? Okay, oh my god, that's beltful.

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Speaker 3: You know. Yes, I found myself getting a little worse

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Speaker 3: that I don't have enough books for Rio, And I'm like, listen,

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Speaker 3: you could read him the back of like AARP magazine

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Speaker 3: and he would be just as enthralled. But yeah, I

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Speaker 3: love just it's so much fun. I'm really loving getting

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Speaker 3: to re explore all the books that I love as

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Speaker 3: a kid with him. And I've got like Spanish versions

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Speaker 3: of all my favorites too, so we can do obo,

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Speaker 3: oh there's your bellies.

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Speaker 1: But I love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm justually learning some vocabulary in myself.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, like children's books are like my favorite books

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Speaker 2: because like the pictures are just so engaging, and you know,

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Speaker 2: the ones that are done right and Eric Carl books

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Speaker 2: are amazing. Of course I love a good like if

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Speaker 2: you have a super little one, that's a great book,

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Speaker 2: like great series of books to start with brown Bear.

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Speaker 2: Brown Bear is.

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Speaker 1: A fan favorite.

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Speaker 2: Got it, there's a boom chick a boom like like

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Speaker 2: it's it's an it's an alphabet book.

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Speaker 3: Got it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's an amazing book.

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Speaker 2: I'm not getting you know what I should give you,

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Speaker 2: like a because I have read like all the books.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure some of the new ones not

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Speaker 1: so much.

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Speaker 2: But when I talk school, I used to like devour

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Speaker 2: books and find really the ones that were going to

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Speaker 2: be really great books for the kids to like learn,

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Speaker 2: you know, not just vocabulary and things like that, but

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Speaker 2: like additional lessons, and so I put all of that.

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Speaker 2: That's why I put all of that into Molly more like, well,

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Speaker 2: how do we as a parent? Like when I was

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Speaker 2: a teacher, I used to think to myself, like there

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Speaker 2: used to be this mouse book. I can't remember the

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Speaker 2: name of it, but it was the mouse's first day

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Speaker 2: of school and the mouse was nervous and by the

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Speaker 2: end they made friends and had a good time. So

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Speaker 2: whenever I had a student that was nervous the first

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Speaker 2: like week of school, I would read that book to

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Speaker 2: them and it would really put them at ease because

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Speaker 2: they got to see like, oh, the mouse is scared too,

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Speaker 2: but the mouse made friends, so can I. The mouse

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Speaker 2: had lunch, so can I. And so I really like

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Speaker 2: to use books to help kids navigate the world, you know,

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Speaker 2: because they can they can project like their feelings onto

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Speaker 2: the character.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just excited.

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Speaker 2: You want to contribute to a good cause and get

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Speaker 2: you an advanced copy of Happy Birthday molly More hardcover,

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Speaker 2: and there's a bunch.

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Speaker 1: Of other like I have a bunch of other awards

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Speaker 1: and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, if you if you get it today, like I

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Speaker 2: have two rewards where I do an early bird special.

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Speaker 1: We can say five dollars.

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Speaker 2: On each of those rewards whatever when you choose. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm just excited because it's like a new a new

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Speaker 2: wave or just like a new I don't know, Like

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's a shift for me because I

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Speaker 2: get to go back to where I started, which is

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Speaker 2: like the Little Ones. And of course I'm not stopping

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Speaker 2: the budget Nista, but I have not been in this

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Speaker 2: space for a long time, and I always love children,

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Speaker 2: and so it's fun to be back here.

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Speaker 3: And it really is where it all started for you,

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Speaker 3: and it's it's beautiful to see you make that connection

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Speaker 3: between where you've gone and like kind of going back to,

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Speaker 3: you know, exactly where you started up. Can't wait to

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Speaker 3: read it to Rio one day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so mollymore dot com, get you a book and

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Speaker 1: contribute to What about You? Would you? I saw you

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Speaker 1: on a field trip this weekend.

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Speaker 3: I was looking, yeah, you know. Rio gave us one

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Speaker 3: five hour stretch and one four hour stretch of sleep

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Speaker 3: back to last week what was it Wednesday night? And

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Speaker 3: I felt like a brand new person the next day.

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Speaker 3: I mean like there were bunny rabbits and butterflies coming

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Speaker 3: out of my butt all day, just like the sun

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Speaker 3: was shining. I'm like, this is what it feels like

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Speaker 3: to get nine hours of sleep. Okay, let's not be

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Speaker 3: like eight hours of sleep. But anyway, I felt so

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Speaker 3: much better, and I was like, this is it, you know,

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Speaker 3: this is We're back, We're back on track. And it

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Speaker 3: was that day that a girlfriend of mine was supposed

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Speaker 3: to go spend the weekend with a couple of other

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Speaker 3: friends of ours they had to cancel, and she was like,

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Speaker 3: you guys wouldn't want to calm when'd you? And she

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Speaker 3: caught me at the exact moment when I was like,

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Speaker 3: I can do anything. Husband stayed home from work that day,

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Speaker 3: so I wasn't holding the baby all day. I had help,

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Speaker 3: and I was in a very very very optimistic mood,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, yes, we can, and of course

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Speaker 3: we can. So we said yes, and then the work began, preparing,

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Speaker 3: like the mental and physical work of packing for like

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Speaker 3: a twenty four hour It was only twenty four hours.

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Speaker 3: That's how long the trip was one night. We could

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Speaker 3: have been gone for a month with the things we

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Speaker 3: had to bring, because you kind of have to like

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Speaker 3: recreate your house, even if it is for twenty four

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Speaker 3: hours when you have a new more and like got

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Speaker 3: to get the white noise machine, Gotta get the monitor.

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Speaker 3: I gotta get the tribal bassinet. Gotta get two kinds

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Speaker 3: of bobbies, not one kind of boppy. Do you know

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Speaker 3: what a boppy is? I didn't know what a bobby was.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I've heard of it. That's what they sit in, right.

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Speaker 3: It's a magical little pillow and yes, you can like

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Speaker 3: set the baby in it. It's how I use the

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Speaker 3: bathroom during the day to be perfully honest. You put

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Speaker 3: you PLoP the baby in the hole. It's like a

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Speaker 3: doughnut pillow. Pop the baby in the hole. They don't move.

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Speaker 3: You run to the bathroom, you run back, They're alive.

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Speaker 3: You're hell. So I have that and then I have

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Speaker 3: one for nursing. It's just I mean the baggage. I

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Speaker 3: was like, can we for like And it's the timing

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Speaker 3: of when do you leave because you have the he's

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Speaker 3: awake for an hour before he melts down. Then you

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Speaker 3: have the nap that's usually from like you know, thirty

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Speaker 3: minutes to two hours it can be. Then you have

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Speaker 3: to feed him in between. So it's like you want

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Speaker 3: them fed in the car seat, but you want them

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Speaker 3: sleepy in the car seat. So it's like the mental

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Speaker 3: like hot like I don't know. Double dutch is what

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Speaker 3: it felt like when you're trying to like pick the

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Speaker 3: right spot to jump in, you know, and like get

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Speaker 3: the rhythm right. So we had a couple of false

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Speaker 3: start Saturday morning, finally got the door and we did it.

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Speaker 3: It was like a three hour drive. We went to

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Speaker 3: the Catskills and stayd this really nice, really cute little house,

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Speaker 3: and it was The house was round. It's called the roundhouse,

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Speaker 3: literally round, and so you feel like you're in with

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Speaker 3: like panoramic windows, so you felt like you were in

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Speaker 3: a snow globe because it was snowing and it was

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Speaker 3: just beautiful and it was nice. I was talking earlier

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Speaker 3: about how I missed speaking to grown ups and I

360
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Speaker 3: haven't really seen friends like in this way in weeks

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Speaker 3: and weeks and weeks, so it was amazing. It was

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Speaker 3: nice to just go prove that we could do it

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Speaker 3: like we could. We could we could take a little

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Speaker 3: trip and not be chained to the house like we

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Speaker 3: have been or like I have been. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 3: it was lovely.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's so crazy, It's like I never got

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Speaker 2: I remember when when my sister Carol first had her

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Speaker 2: first baby, Roman, and I'd be.

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Speaker 1: Like, well, I want to come over. She's like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: he's taking it out.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, so she's like, if you come to this house,

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Speaker 2: you would no longer my sister.

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Speaker 1: And I used to be like what is the boodle?

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Speaker 2: Until I started babysitting, and I remember like my husband

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Speaker 2: came home. I was babysitting and I finally got the

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Speaker 2: baby to sleep. I looked like, I mean, it looked

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Speaker 2: like a tornado. He must have been like two, so

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Speaker 2: he was walking but just of course tearing everything up.

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Speaker 1: You can't even pee, you can't do anything. And he

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Speaker 1: was asleep. He's like, oh, roams over. Let me wake

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Speaker 1: him up. I said, I will leave you. I will

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Speaker 1: leave you a.

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Speaker 2: Hand because you start to understand, like, so I can

385
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Speaker 2: totally understand planning a trip based upon the baby's sleeping

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Speaker 2: patterns because it's everything like if this baby is up,

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Speaker 2: everybody dies, So we need to keep this baby quiet.

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Speaker 2: So no, it's just funny, how like it seems so

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Speaker 2: crazy when when you're not around a baby until like

390
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Speaker 2: you're like, oh, it's my turn to take care of

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Speaker 2: the baby three hours, two hours.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, leave that baby quiet. Everybody needs to be silent.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, the white noise machine is like I've

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00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,720
Speaker 3: never liked white noise machines, but it is the reason

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00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,920
Speaker 3: we are still hanging in there. A white noise machine

396
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,639
Speaker 3: because it blocks out any kind of noise you have,

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Speaker 3: like the dog barking, like people talking, all that you

398
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,520
Speaker 3: don't realize how much noise your house makes until you

399
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Speaker 3: have a newborn, So shout out to whoever invented this.

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Speaker 3: We have like five different ones. We have a portable

401
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 3: one for the car seat to shove in there with him,

402
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,400
Speaker 3: and then we had we were like the entire road trip,

403
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Speaker 3: you know road trips in the past.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: We love to make a playlist on Spotify and rock

406
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Speaker 3: like jam out to whatever music we like. Three hours

407
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 3: of white noise, three hours of white noise, Rain Library

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00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 3: on Level thirty like on our car. That's what we

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Speaker 3: listened to the entire way there. But happy baby, happy family. Yes,

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Speaker 3: and we we did it, so I'm feeling pretty good.

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Speaker 1: We did it.

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00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,119
Speaker 3: And I happened, you know, something happened to me that

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00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 3: was interesting. You know, I feel like nothing's interesting happened.

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00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 3: I had a baby. That's interesting, Like, yeah, I can

415
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 3: have a life, I can do things. And now that

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Speaker 3: I'm going back to work in a little over a week,

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00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 3: it felt good to, you know, push myself to get

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Speaker 3: out a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and your hair's so cute. I saw you put

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Speaker 2: like need a haircut. I'm like, uh, maybe's hair looks gorgeous.

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00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 3: Listen she she gets out of control and she needs

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Speaker 3: to be trimmed, like she's like an unruly head right now.

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Speaker 3: But we just we just put her up in a

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Speaker 3: big old poof on the head pineapple for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was cute.

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Speaker 2: I was like, Mandy, you look like a cute mom. Well,

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00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 2: now that we've given y'all the the weekend T, we

428
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: should call it that sometimes the weekend tea brand a

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00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 2: mission T. I would love to move on to my

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00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: favorite section of the Shizzo. That's when we get to

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Speaker 2: take your questions.

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00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 1: It's time for questions. You have questions. We may or

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00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 1: may not have answers.

434
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,880
Speaker 2: We are not experts, we always say that. Instead, we're

435
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 2: just your good girlfriends who are here to give you

436
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 2: the best advice that we don't have. But please reach

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00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:32,000
Speaker 2: out to a financial expert. Certified financial expert to get

438
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 2: the best advice possible for your situation aka.

439
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,880
Speaker 1: Don't sue nobody over here.

440
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, our first question, actually you don't need you

441
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 3: don't need a financial planner for this, actually, but our

442
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 3: first question comes from a listener who'd like to remain anonymous,

443
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 3: but has an interesting question about dating. She says, I

444
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,439
Speaker 3: recently started online dating, and while I have met some duds,

445
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 3: I finally met a really great guy. He has already

446
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 3: disclosed that he is finny actially savvy. Meanwhile, I haven't

447
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 3: made the best financial decision since I purchased my home

448
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 3: in the last five years. Before that, I was on target.

449
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 3: At what point do you guys think I should disclose

450
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 3: my financial state to a guy I'm dating. She doesn't

451
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 3: say how bad her finances are, but they seem like

452
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 3: they're may be not as great as this guy says

453
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 3: his are. Hmm, if it's hm, I remember dating, remember dating?

454
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 3: Listen vaguely about dating is, especially in the early days.

455
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: Everyone tries to put I mean you, you're never at

456
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,239
Speaker 3: your better self than when you're first dating somebody. Like

457
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 3: your hair's always right, like your teeth are always brushed,

458
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 3: everything is bright and shiny and cleaned, and your house

459
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,640
Speaker 3: is nice when they come over, And I kind of

460
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 3: hesitate for you to assume like this guy, I don't

461
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 3: know what kind of hints he's dropped about how financially

462
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 3: savvy he is, but you may not know his full

463
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 3: picture yet, and you don't go into specifics about yours.

464
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 3: But it wouldn't want you necessarily to feel like you're

465
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 3: less than or not financially savvy, and he's so much

466
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 3: smarter than you, just based on maybe what he said

467
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 3: early in the dating scene, you know, because who knows

468
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 3: what you believe me, someone else's I'm financially savvy is

469
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: another person's like what are you doing? You know, like

470
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 3: you really don't know what they're what's going on until

471
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,359
Speaker 3: you really get deep and see what's actually happening with

472
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 3: their numbers, and that doesn't happen for a while. I

473
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 3: want to say, financial discussions with my husband and I

474
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 3: they didn't really start until a couple of years and

475
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 3: we decided to move in together. And when you're moving

476
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 3: in together, that's when I you know, you really want

477
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 3: to know what does the person finances look like, because

478
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 3: you're gonna you're gonna start intertwining your finances his or her.

479
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 3: You know, financial picture really impacts your own well being.

480
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 3: You don't want to get evicted, for example, because you

481
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 3: can't he can't cover his half of the rent. So

482
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 3: for us, it was when we moved in together. Also,

483
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:09,880
Speaker 3: I'm a nosy reporter at heart and I do a

484
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,719
Speaker 3: personal finance podcast, so he knew he gets open too,

485
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 3: and I asked very you know, pushy questions early on.

486
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: As did I, but also.

487
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 2: Too, I will say this said if I was just

488
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: dating and I didn't really see it going anywhere, honestly,

489
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 2: I didn't potentially care unless you asked me like a

490
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 2: question or whatever. But with Superman, I was looking at

491
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: him as hmm, potential husband, but I knew him from before,

492
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 2: so it's hard. So I definitely asked because I was

493
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 2: looking to see, like where do we like, how was

494
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 2: he with his finances, meaning like, how would it look

495
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 2: into my life like if he was let's just say

496
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 2: his credit score wasn't the greatest, but it was because

497
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 2: of something reasonable got it? Or was he someone who

498
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I've got one hundred thousand dollars worth

499
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 2: a credit card.

500
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: Debt and it's not my fault. Oh well, you know

501
00:22:59,760 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: what I mean.

502
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: I mean, I was really trying to get a gauge

503
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: of level of responsibility.

504
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 1: So I would say, you don't have to disclose just now.

505
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 2: You guys just started dating, but as things come up,

506
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: you can definitely talk about it as you get a

507
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 2: little bit more serious. If you could really see this

508
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 2: person as somebody serious in your life, then you should

509
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 2: have like a talk about finances, like a purposeful talk

510
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 2: about finances. But I think that it's still really early on,

511
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 2: so I wouldn't I wouldn't rush it or be afraid

512
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 2: about it. I would just like, you know, like let

513
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 2: it come up naturally until you decide, No, I really

514
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: really like this guy, and we're getting.

515
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 1: More serious and we're probably we're exclusive. Now let's talk

516
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 1: about money.

517
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, And also to your point, when it's early like that,

518
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 3: And to go back to what I was saying about,

519
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: when you're early dating and you try and everyone's a

520
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,959
Speaker 3: little bit shinier, and you know, their best sells when

521
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 3: they're dating in the beginning, I just don't want like

522
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: if you're truly struggling financially or you have let's say

523
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 3: you have some debt that you're trying to pay off.

524
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 3: I mean, you want to be transparent enough to let

525
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 3: him know where you're at so that the dating itself

526
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,199
Speaker 3: doesn't become a burden for you. For example, ye know,

527
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 3: when you're early dating, maybe he wants to go to

528
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 3: a concert or a sporting event or whatever, and you

529
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 3: know you want to chip in or have a weekend

530
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: get away and it's like, who's paying for this? If

531
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 3: you know, if you're in a if you're in a

532
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: particular situation where you have your own financial goals to meet, Yes,

533
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 3: and that's where dating can sometimes, you know, hinder your progress.

534
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 3: You don't want to overextend yourself just to make him

535
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 3: you know, happy, or to you know, create some perfect

536
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 3: version of yourself that he can fall in love with

537
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 3: or you know, be attracted to or whatever. You So

538
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 3: it's like you're going to have to feel things out

539
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 3: and you're at the same time you want to be honest,

540
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 3: not dishonest. What Tiffany said, you know, don't reveal more

541
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 3: than what you feel it is necessary for the for

542
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: the length of time you've been dating and how serious

543
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,199
Speaker 3: you think things are. But what you should be you know,

544
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 3: transparent about is that you, regardless of where what your

545
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 3: financial state is, that you care about it and that

546
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 3: you have certain goals and you have your working toward

547
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 3: paying off debt or saving or whatever it is. You

548
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 3: can let them know that so that you know, you

549
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 3: can plan the activities that you guys do accordingly and

550
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 3: they can sort of get their expectations in alignment.

551
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: Yes, I was gonna say that that's actually like a

552
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 1: great point.

553
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: You don't want to pay on everything's perfect, And then

554
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: he's like, well, why can't we go on a trip?

555
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 2: So those are perfect opportunities to then interject and say, hey,

556
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: this is what I have going on, and this is

557
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 2: why I can or I can't or I have to modify,

558
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 2: you know what are whatever these plans are. So that's

559
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: actually they call that. Like when I was a teacher,

560
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 2: they would call that teachable moment. So like in that moment,

561
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 2: you know, let's just say a kid hits another kid,

562
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: It's like, that's a perfect moment to talk about while

563
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: we have to use our hands nicely whatever. Same thing

564
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 2: with your finances, Like in that moment, it's a great

565
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 2: time to be like, oh, you know, I didn't mention,

566
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 2: but I'm working on my credit card debt and blah

567
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 2: blah blah. You know, so those are great moments to

568
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 2: kind of interject in that way he gets to get

569
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 2: a realistic view of where you are with your finances.

570
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 2: You know. So, but good luck to you girl, because

571
00:25:56,119 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. Before Superman, I was like, shah,

572
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 2: dating it's for the birds show.

573
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 3: It's stressful. It is just thinking about her having to

574
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 3: tell some having to reveal because it is private to you,

575
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 3: you know, your financial picture, and having to reveal to

576
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 3: someone that you barely know. Hey, you know what this

577
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: is my this is my situation. I know how I

578
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 3: got here and I'm working on it. And then you

579
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: you leave yourself vulnerable to their judgment. All I can

580
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: say is, if you know his reaction to what you

581
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 3: tell him about your finances, what you're working on, and

582
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: what happened, you know, look carefully at how he treats

583
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 3: you and his response to that, because that will tell

584
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 3: you a lot about how he will be as a partner.

585
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 3: If this is something that you you know, want for

586
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 3: the long term. Is he supportive you know? Is he like, great,

587
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 3: you know, we're gonna cook out home tonight and or

588
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 3: we're gonna go to a matine movie to save you

589
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 3: know whatever, five bucks? If he is all about it,

590
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 3: or if he's like, man, I really want to go

591
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 3: to this concert. It's the lame that you can't go

592
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 3: with me. Pay attention to those signals. And honestly, if

593
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 3: he can't love you where you or you know, start

594
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 3: to like you where you are on your journey now,

595
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 3: then you know, that's a real signal to what it

596
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 3: is where you may be going with him in the future,

597
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 3: and it wouldn't be good. Believe me. You just think

598
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, you don't want anyone like that in

599
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 3: your life.

600
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, good good luck. Though it sounds like me he

601
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: sounds awesome thus far. So woo woo, fingers crossed for you.

602
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: Boo boo.

603
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, thank you so much for your question.

604
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 3: Let's take one more really quick. This comes from a

605
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 3: listener who we will also keep anonymous because I don't

606
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 3: know her name, so that makes that easy.

607
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: Let's star Sally.

608
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 3: Sally. Sure, good old I don't know any I've never

609
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: met a Sally in my.

610
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: Life either, be either. You know what, We'll start again.

611
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 3: Ah cool, she says. The information both of you ladies

612
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 3: are sharing has really changed my family's financial life. Thank

613
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: you so much, sending you guys a virtual hug. Here's

614
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 3: my question, would you please share your thoughts on peer

615
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 3: to peer lending from organizations like Lendingclub dot com and

616
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 3: prosper dot com. Are there other peer to peer lenders

617
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 3: out there as well? M Well wonder if she's asking

618
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 3: from an investors standpoint, because with Pewter peer lenders, you

619
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 3: can invest or if she's asking from, like I want

620
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 3: to borrow money from one of these through one of

621
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 3: these platforms.

622
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: Because I will say I'm not familiar with those platforms,

623
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 2: but peer to peer lending as far as investing.

624
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: You have you heard her Kiva?

625
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, Ciba's great.

626
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: You know, so I've used Kiva to peer to peer lend.

627
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: But in this way where it's like someone usually I

628
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: almost always pick a woman. It has a business, and

629
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 2: you know, any part of the country. They have it

630
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: in the US as well, so you could pick you know,

631
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 2: you can kind of pick a country or pick a

632
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: cause or whatever. And so that woman or that man, whoever,

633
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 2: Let's just say it's a woman in Nigeria and she

634
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 2: has a basket weaving business, and she wants to raise

635
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars to buy the materials she needs for

636
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: the basket. So then you know, I can contribute to

637
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 2: that two hundred. She raises her money, she makes her back,

638
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 2: and she pays back at like a very low fee

639
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 2: interest feedback. She pays back that two hundred dollars and

640
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: now it might take two years for me to get

641
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 2: you know, like my fifty dollars back or whatever. But

642
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 2: I'm not lending to thinking about getting my money back.

643
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 2: I'm lending because I want to help somebody else have

644
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: the ability to do something and they just need a

645
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: little bit of capital backing.

646
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: So I'm familiar with that, but I'm not.

647
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: Familiar with like peer to peer lending in the structured way.

648
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, Kiva's different because Kiva I've used Kiva before too.

649
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 3: You give money, you don't really make a return on

650
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,239
Speaker 3: your investment. Yes, but it's a great way to like

651
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: have twenty bucks and see how far it can go

652
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 3: because they give it, they pay it back to you,

653
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 3: and then you can relend that same forty dollars another time.

654
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Yep.

655
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 3: So peer to peer lenders really quick. So prosper Lending Club.

656
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 3: They basically came on the scene in the years after

657
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 3: the recession, and they are an alternative way to invest.

658
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 3: So if you're an investor, for example, you know the

659
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 3: same way that when you take out a mortgage or

660
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 3: you have credit card debt. You know, these banks and

661
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 3: financial services they bundle up this debt and they sell

662
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 3: it to investors, and they sell it to investors because

663
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 3: we pay interest on that money, right, so eventually that

664
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 3: interest can be some form of return on investment for investors.

665
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 3: That's a very simplistic way of explaining it. So with

666
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 3: a lending club or a Prosper, there's a lot of

667
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 3: people like let's say Tiffany and I wanted to borrow

668
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 3: a thousand bucks on lending Club or Prosper. Depending on

669
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 3: our credit score, we might get a rate of fifteen

670
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 3: percent or twenty percent or whatever. We're going to be

671
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 3: paying a rate that interest on that money in the future.

672
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,239
Speaker 3: Other people on the other side may invest in a

673
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: bundle of loans from Prosper or lending Club that have

674
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 3: an interest rate of fifteen percent, Like you know, we've

675
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 3: gotten and as we pay interest, they're earning interest on

676
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 3: their investment. So they invest money that the platform can

677
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 3: use to lend to people like us. We pay interest

678
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 3: and it goes back to those investors who funded the

679
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 3: pool in the first place.

680
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Yeah, to make no, it does

681
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: make sense.

682
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 3: So the benefit for a borrowers that these companies kind

683
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 3: of offered a non traditional way to borrow money outside

684
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 3: of credit cards or really bad high interest debt like

685
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 3: payday loans. Some of them do offer reasonable ish rates

686
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 3: if you have you know, not the greatest if you

687
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: have fair credit, and they can be a you know,

688
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 3: decent alternative, but some of them also have really really

689
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 3: high rates and you can end up with loans that

690
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: aren't necessarily the best deal. But they are an alternative

691
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 3: form of investing, Okay. As an investor you want to be,

692
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 3: you know, you have to go into these platforms having

693
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 3: an idea of what kind of debt you're investing in.

694
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 3: So it does sound pretty lucrative, Like if you're going

695
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 3: to pick, Oh, I'm an investor, I want to buy

696
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 3: up some loans from one of these websites. Don't you

697
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 3: want the loans that have the highest interest rates. Sure

698
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 3: you do, but you have to understand those are the

699
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: riskiest borrowers. Yes, the reason they have such high interest

700
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 3: rates is because they maybe have poor credit or poor

701
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: credit histories, you know, have trouble paying back debts in

702
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 3: the past, So you're assuming additional risk as an investor.

703
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: So it's it's an interesting way to invest if you're

704
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 3: looking for a non traditional way to invest or, a

705
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 3: different you know, platform to invest through. And it's also

706
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 3: an alternative way to borrow. How I feel about it

707
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 3: is how I feel about any sort of financial product.

708
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 3: Do your research. If you're looking at this from like

709
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 3: a perspective of someone wanting to borrow money to consolidate

710
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 3: debt or to make a purchase, like you know, getting

711
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 3: a regular personal loan, just compare your options with other

712
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 3: lenders out there. Go to your good old credit union,

713
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,239
Speaker 3: got to say it. Go to your bank that you're

714
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 3: banking with right now, see what kind of rate they

715
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 3: can give you. The good thing about online platforms is

716
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 3: typically they may have some sort of soft pull to

717
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: see what kind of rate you may qualify for, or

718
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 3: you know, let you see without dinging your credit score,

719
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 3: and then you can compare that offering to what else

720
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 3: you might have out there. And as an investor, I

721
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 3: personally don't invest in these platforms, so I would do

722
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: additional research to see the pros and cons. But I

723
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: do know that some people find to be very exciting

724
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 3: and you know, potentially lucrative forms of investing, But I

725
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: personally don't have experience there.

726
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think you explained it perfectly. So

727
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: we don't know whether she's looking to borrow herself or

728
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: she's looking to being on the investor side. But if

729
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 2: you're looking to borrow yourself, just always remember, like you know,

730
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: you want to put yourself in a position to be

731
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 2: able to actually pay back, because my assumption is anything

732
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 2: that you borrow and don't pay back is definitely could

733
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 2: cause a ding on your credit score, your credit report,

734
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: and that's not something that you want to deal with

735
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: if you don't have to. But it's better than obviously,

736
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: Like someone asked me the other day, I saw in

737
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 2: my Facebook group someone asked about payday loans, and I

738
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 2: wanted to.

739
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 1: Scream no, no, no, no, no.

740
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 2: No, you know, because it's like, but I mean, I

741
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 2: can only imagine how bad things must be for you

742
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 2: to consider a payday loan, because I it has to

743
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: be bad. Obviously, no one gets a pay day loan

744
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: skipping and smiling and happy about it.

745
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: You know.

746
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 3: Well, it's not even like the payday loans of the past,

747
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: where it's the CD storefront, you know, at the strip malls.

748
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 3: Lot of online lenders now are creating loans that are

749
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 3: essentially payday loans. They may say, well in some states

750
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 3: where and even in some states where they've capped the

751
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 3: interest rates, you can have on payday loans. You know

752
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 3: what some lenders are doing to get around that. They're

753
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 3: tacking on these things called credit service organization fees, which

754
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,240
Speaker 3: will be maybe even hundreds of dollars onto the cost

755
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 3: of the loan you're borrowing. And they'll say, oh, your

756
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,760
Speaker 3: interest is you know, thirty six percent or sixteen percent,

757
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,839
Speaker 3: and you think, oh, this isn't so bad. But they

758
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 3: add on that credit sort that's csophie. It's hard to

759
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 3: say credit service organization fee csofee, you know, a five

760
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 3: hundred dollars or whatever, and they bundle that into the

761
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 3: loan that you're borrowing and paying back over the next

762
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 3: three or four years. And that's how they make their money.

763
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 3: It's how they get around the interest rate caps. So

764
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 3: read the vine print, because even the ones that seem, oh,

765
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 3: this is an online bank, it's not like that payday

766
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 3: lender around the corner, you know, at the you know,

767
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 3: right next door to the I'm trying home thinking about

768
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 3: Blockbuster right now, Blockbuster doesn't even exist. Like trying to

769
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 3: make a CV story front whatever that.

770
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 2: The chicken shack place that also does a check cashing

771
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 2: and then payday loans all in the same place.

772
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 3: Exactly.

773
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely want to stay away from those if if possible,

774
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 2: because some people, I mean, if your back's against the wall,

775
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 2: you're like, how do I feed my kids? I mean,

776
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 2: it's it's easy for us to say because we're not

777
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: in that position, because even when I was in a

778
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: position where I didn't have any money, I always had

779
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 2: a place to stay and food to eat because I

780
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 2: had family. But not everyone has that. That that's that's

781
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 2: a privilege that now everyone has, quite honestly. So we're

782
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 2: definitely not here to judge those choices, but to just

783
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 2: give you the information about the choices that you might

784
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 2: be compelled to choose.

785
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and thank you for asking. Thank you for asking

786
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 3: this question. Feel free to follow up if you had

787
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 3: a more specific question or something that we didn't touch

788
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: on with our answer, But thank you very much. You guys.

789
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 3: Of course, you can send us your questions. We love

790
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 3: to get them. You can hit us up on Instagram

791
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: at Brand Ambission Podcast or hit us up on email

792
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 3: Brian Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.

793
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: So I'm excited about our Brown Boost Brown Break. I almost

794
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: said wins, because you know, every every week I forget

795
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 2: I don't, I mean sometimes I wonder, God, why don't

796
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 2: I have a memory. The fact that I'm forty and

797
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,240
Speaker 2: don't have a memory normally like, ooh, that's concerning.

798
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.

799
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: Six year old Tiffany no memory, ten year old Tiffy,

800
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,399
Speaker 2: no memory. Twenty year old Tiffany, Nope, nope, nope, nope,

801
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: no memory. By the time I get to be eighty

802
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 2: and my grandkids are like Grandma don't have no memory,

803
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like ma'am been that had no memory,

804
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: and I don't want nothing to do with me be eighty.

805
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 3: Listen, you have done very well for yourself with the

806
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 3: brain that you have, So let's we just I just

807
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 3: accept it. This is who you are the same way

808
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 3: I don't remember anyone's name, and it's really embarrassing, really

809
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 3: really embarrassing. What are you gonna do?

810
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 2: Booster break, I am gonna boost for something really exciting.

811
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 2: So I'm actually got a boat guard and go first,

812
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:57,839
Speaker 2: I'm gonna boost hair love.

813
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 1: Did you see they want to and ask your last animated.

814
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 3: Chorts, Well, he's cute to six minute video you guys

815
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 3: watched on YouTube.

816
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: Yes, do your googles type in hair love? There's the director,

817
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: his name is Matthew Cherry. So apparently he used to

818
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 2: play football but has since now gotten into the music.

819
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: Not the music.

820
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: He's a director, so he's actually directing like a mixsh

821
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: or Blackish Tonight, like an episode, so he he directs.

822
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 2: And so apparently Hairlove started off as a Kickstarter because

823
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 2: he wanted to do a short, like an animated short,

824
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: about to normalize black hair and so people could young

825
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 2: people can really see just the beauty and how your

826
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: hair is. It's it's automatically beautiful. It's really touching and

827
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 2: it's wonderful. He launched his kickstarter. I think he was

828
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 2: asking for like seventy five thousand dollars, ended up making

829
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 2: over two hundred thousand dollars, and it was so popular

830
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: the video that he ended up creating a book to

831
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 2: go along with hair Love.

832
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: The hair Love Book did very well.

833
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: It just got the Coreta Scott King a warn I

834
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 2: believe Calvialkadiv word something basically for illustration. Her name is Vashti.

835
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 2: I can't remember Vashti's last name. She's a very well known. Yes,

836
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 2: of course I remember Vashti, but not Harrison because that's Tiffany, right,

837
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: And so Vashi also did Lupita Nuango's book, so yeah,

838
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: so she did that too.

839
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,720
Speaker 1: She's an amazing illustrator, Vatchity.

840
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: So anyway, so the video, they get the book, the

841
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 2: book becomes this monster bestseller. And then he had tweeted,

842
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: like I think it was like five or six years ago,

843
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 2: he said, one day I'm going to be nominated for

844
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 2: an Oscar, and yesterday he won his Oscar and it

845
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 2: was just it was amazing because what I loved is

846
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 2: that he brought there was I think we might have

847
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 2: talked about this young man.

848
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but there was a young man.

849
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's in New York and New Jersey,

850
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: but he was not allowed to walk during graduation because

851
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 2: he didn't want to cut his locks, which I thought

852
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 2: was egregious. Yes, and so, but people really surrounded him

853
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: with love and like, your hair is beautiful the way

854
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 2: it is, and so he wasn't allowed to walk. But

855
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 2: Matthew Cherry brought him yesterday to the Oscars.

856
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,919
Speaker 1: I know that principle is like, because will you ever

857
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: go No, never.

858
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 2: Brought him to the Oscars with him because he wanted

859
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 2: to show him that your hair is beautiful.

860
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: Just the way it is and that's the purpose of

861
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 1: the short. And so it was just such such a

862
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: beautiful thing.

863
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: And what I love is that all of these books

864
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 2: that are coming out with these brown, beautiful brown faces

865
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 2: on the cover just are paving the way for me

866
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: to be able to do this with Molly Moore as well.

867
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 1: So it's just like it just warmed.

868
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 2: My heart to see that happened to see, you know,

869
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: like the Oscars, you know, an Oscar go to such

870
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 2: a beautiful book that was definitively about black beauty and

871
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: you know what makes us so amazing how different our

872
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: hair is and how it's.

873
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: All good hair. So yeah, yeah, yeah, that was my

874
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:45,760
Speaker 1: brown boost.

875
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,320
Speaker 2: That was just like I've been following the story like

876
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh

877
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 2: my gosh.

878
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 1: And so I just love to see stuff like that.

879
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: You love to see it.

880
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 2: That's what the young kids say. Now, Manny, I'm not

881
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: sure if you're up on it, but when something good happens,

882
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 2: they'd be like, oh, you love to see it, or

883
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 2: we love to see it, or I love to see it.

884
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 3: Just so you know, that's like a fraid Okay, all right, thanks,

885
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 3: I need to know these things? What else? What else

886
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: are the people saying out they're in the world. I

887
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: got to I'm about to re enter society, and I

888
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 3: need to sound like I know what I know.

889
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 1: I just noticed that. I was like, oh, I need

890
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 1: to give myself a young mentee.

891
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: Well, because all my mentees are like in there, they're

892
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 2: like in their thirties and stuff, and some of them

893
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 2: like like early forties. But I need to give myself

894
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 2: like a young young mentee, like a teenager, so she

895
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 2: can keep me like in the loop. Because Supergirl don't

896
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 2: want to tell me nothing. I'm like, what are the

897
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 2: kids saying? She's like, uh, nothing.

898
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 3: Is she's turning thirteen this year or twelve?

899
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: No, she's turning fourteen this year. She's already thirteen thirteen last.

900
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, we're just like we're like, we're the same size shoe,

901
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 2: because you know, her father's sixty six.

902
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 3: She tall.

903
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: I know, I'm not even gonna lie. I was like,

904
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: is that my dress?

905
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, of course it looks better on her because you know,

906
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: but she gets like beautiful Honestly, She's got like this

907
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 2: beautiful chocolate skin. She's just such a pretty girl. And

908
00:40:58,239 --> 00:40:59,959
Speaker 2: I can already tell that. Like I could see sometimes

909
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 2: her father looking at her mad. I'm like stop, He's like, well,

910
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: why why is she growing up?

911
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: I'm like ready, I.

912
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 2: Was like, I know the little boys sniffing around and

913
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm mean, you have a boyfriend.

914
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: She's like now, but.

915
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 2: I'm like, somebody's because I was using her computer when

916
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,479
Speaker 2: my computer's on the fritz. Somebody's blown up the little

917
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: like like she has an iPhone iPhone message.

918
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, who's this with the hard eyes? Okay, I ain't.

919
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 2: So I had daddy though, because I'm like, I'm not

920
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 2: trying to be the cause of some young boy's death.

921
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 2: But I just told her mother. I told She's like, oh, no,

922
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 2: I know about it. I'm like, okay, I just want

923
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: to keep it on the up and up. She said,

924
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: don't tell bout I'm like, I haven't because you know

925
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 2: he's not ready for it.

926
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,919
Speaker 3: At least you're an extra pair of bies on the ground.

927
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 2: I am.

928
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: All right, let me be quick because I hear my master,

929
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 3: my boss downstairs, getting cranky. So my I was gonna

930
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: do this last week, but I had something better but

931
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 3: or something different. So this week I've been thinking a

932
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 3: lot about the words should and how it is like

933
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 3: the bange of my existence and I feel like there's

934
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 3: those people in your life. Well, first of all, the

935
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: word the word should, I use a lot when I'm

936
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 3: trying to beat up myself. I should do this, I

937
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: should do that, I should feel this, I should feel that.

938
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 3: I should look like this. I should should, should, should should,

939
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 3: And I'm really trying to ban it from my vocabulary

940
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 3: because I feel like should is the root of all unhappiness.

941
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: I'm taking a brown break from should personally. I'm trying to,

942
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 3: especially around being a new like new moms, I should

943
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: be doing this or the even worse, the baby should

944
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 3: the baby should be sleeping overnight and he should be

945
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 3: eating every two point five hours, because that's what healthline

946
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 3: dot com says. It's the first result on Google, so

947
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: it has to be right. No should as Honestly one

948
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 3: of the reasons I think I've that has led to

949
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 3: all the anxiety I've been feeling the past couple of months.

950
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: So I'm trying to get better about the shoulds. And

951
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 3: when I hear myself saying I should, I just mentally

952
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 3: try and clock it and rewrite the sentence in my head.

953
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 3: But then I also realized, like what drives me nuts

954
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 3: are the there's people in your orbit, the should of friends,

955
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 3: like the should like we should get coffee sometime, or

956
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 3: we should get dinner sometime, or we really should you know,

957
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 3: hang out. It's been months, it's been weeks, and it

958
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 3: exhausting those people because it never actually happens. Like there's

959
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 3: a people who say we should, should, should, and then

960
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 3: they actually never follow through and make those plans. And

961
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: I just feel like those are the kind of people

962
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 3: who I can I'm going to go into twenty twenty

963
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 3: wanting to do a little bit less dealing a little

964
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 3: bit less with those types of like acquaintances, the ones

965
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 3: who I don't I don't even know what category to

966
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 3: put them in. It's frustrating because you feel like you

967
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 3: have almost the promise of a connection, but because they

968
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 3: never really like really follow through on the plans that

969
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 3: they are so excited and think that we should be

970
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 3: making in the future.

971
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: I don't know.

972
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 3: I just want to try and move away from those

973
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 3: types of acquaintances. There's it's just there's less time for it.

974
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 3: And also it feels, i don't know, disingenuous, and it

975
00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 3: also I'm trying to reflect on myself and I'm the

976
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 3: kind of person who when I see someone or I

977
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 3: want to make a plan with somebody, I really try

978
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 3: and follow through on it. And I guess it when

979
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 3: you don't feel like that's being reciprocated, or you have

980
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: people in your life who who are overly optimistic about

981
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 3: the potential for what their own time is, I don't know,

982
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 3: it can just maybe I'm alone in this, but just

983
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 3: it grades on me, and I think it's I think

984
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 3: it's a little rude, and I think it's a little

985
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 3: just something that I'm kind of outgrowing now, So being

986
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 3: more precious with my own time and how I spend

987
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 3: it and spending its less energy with the people who

988
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 3: are the should kind of people, and also trying personally

989
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 3: to think about the words should and how it damages

990
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 3: my own self perception and my own mental health, you know,

991
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 3: from day to day, and just something I'm working on.

992
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 3: Not trying to be all you know, wishy washy, because

993
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 3: obviously I'm working on stuff, but it feels like one

994
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 3: of the most impactful things I can be doing to

995
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 3: help myself feel better day to day. Let's should and

996
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 3: just go you know, going out my own pace and

997
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 3: just where and meeting myself where I'm at right now,

998
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 3: and like meeting a baby where he's at right now

999
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 3: despite what the Internet says he should be doing. Yeah

1000
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 3: ten point five weeks.

1001
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like that's the hardest part. Like that. You'll

1002
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 1: notice that with kids especially.

1003
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 2: But I love that taking shit out because I definitely

1004
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 2: do a lot of things I feel obligated to do.

1005
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 1: These people hit me all the time. Can you sit

1006
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 1: on this board? Can you this? Can you that?

1007
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 2: Gyu that? And I'm like, ah, I feel like am

1008
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 2: I a bad person? Because I'm like I want to

1009
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 2: sleep one day and so I like that. But especially

1010
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: with kids, I tell parents like, I'm even there's like

1011
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 2: a young woman on our.

1012
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: Team because they were telling stuff her about her.

1013
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 2: Baby, and I was like, honestly, you are this child's mother,

1014
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 2: day in day out. You are connecting with your baby.

1015
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 2: No one has better insight as to what's happening than

1016
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 2: you do. Now, yes, are there these kind of like

1017
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 2: basic templates, but but you are going to find that

1018
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 2: your child is going to exceed on some form of

1019
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 2: the some scale, and that your child is going to

1020
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: not exceed on some form of the scale.

1021
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 3: It doesn't.

1022
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,319
Speaker 1: Those dings are just there as as like.

1023
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 2: A general guiding post. But by no way does that

1024
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 2: mean like, oh my god, my kid doesn't know like

1025
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 2: six letters, you know, by the time he's won.

1026
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Nothing?

1027
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 2: Nothing. Most kids fall with an average. There are ten

1028
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 2: percent of the population that are above average. There are

1029
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: ten percent of the population that they experience more challenges,

1030
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 2: But eighty percent of us fall somewhere with an average.

1031
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 2: And so the likelihood is that your child falls somewhere

1032
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 2: within that average. And your job, as like their parent,

1033
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 2: is just to create an environment where they can maximize

1034
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: who and how they are.

1035
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's hard.

1036
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, I know I see it as

1037
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: a teacher, and parents would come to me all the

1038
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,439
Speaker 2: time crying, like my doctor said or did I said,

1039
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 2: I'm not.

1040
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 1: Saying discount what they say. It's just that, like, you know,

1041
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: you're a child.

1042
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 2: I mean, your doctor doesn't live with you, so there

1043
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: like or the teacher or that person who's like, oh,

1044
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 2: they should be in a special class, who said I

1045
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 2: can't tell you how many times they've said that about

1046
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: me or one of my sisters. And meanwhile, I look

1047
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 2: at us now like one of my sisters, she's a

1048
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 2: whole engineer now, and it was like she needs extra help. No,

1049
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: you know, there was she thought differently, she thought in

1050
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: a way that an engineer thinks. So she was having

1051
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 2: a hard time with the way materials was being presented

1052
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 2: because her brain functions differently. And now that she's out

1053
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 2: in the real world where she's allowed to connect with

1054
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,720
Speaker 2: things in a way that's natural to her, she's slaying.

1055
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 2: So like, yeah, it's it can be really detrimental out

1056
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 2: here for especially brown babies. But you know, you are

1057
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 2: a fierce lioness of a of a mother. So Rio

1058
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: has the right one because my mother was like that,

1059
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 2: like I am not the one, the two or the's right,

1060
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,280
Speaker 2: and that's what you have to be with these brown babies.

1061
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: And so yeah, just remember that then, like yeah.

1062
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I can't protect him from the should if

1063
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 3: I'm doing if I'm shutting myself up, yes, you know,

1064
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 3: if I'm if I'm if I'm shooting myself, I'm gonna

1065
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 3: shoot him and I and I don't want to. I

1066
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 3: don't want to do that to him. So living life

1067
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 3: free of shuds as much as I can, as much

1068
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 3: as I can yeah, all right, all right, let me go.

1069
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 2: So as pretty usual, great show, Mandra again, mollymore dot com,

1070
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,760
Speaker 2: please support. I want all the babies to have access

1071
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 2: to financial education. We help get y'all together. We really

1072
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: want to start with the kids and move our way

1073
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 2: up because I feel like if we can normalize talking

1074
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 2: about money in a way that's age appropriate, then you

1075
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 2: can help sidestep some of the challenges that you have

1076
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,399
Speaker 2: as an adult, and you can help your children side

1077
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 2: set those challenges. So mollymore dot com and even if

1078
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: you're watching this ten years from now, mollymore dot com

1079
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 2: will still lead you.

1080
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: To getting a book, even if it's not the Kickstarter campaign.

1081
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 3: Love it. We'll be signing up immediately, right, thank ya,

1082
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 3: all right, we'll talk with you next week.

1083
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 1: Next week,