WEBVTT - “I’M AFRAID THE END OF THE WORLD IS SOON” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:01.040 Hello, Hi, Hi? 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:01.280 Is this. 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:03.520 What's going on? 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.080 Nothing much it's going on with you? How are you? Geck? 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.440 I'm doing good. I just ate a lot of. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:18.880 Skittles, you know, I just ate a lot, period, So 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:22.880 it's pretty doing pretty well in life. 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:29.280 I think, Uh, gigiu, how can I get you today? 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.120 Is there anything in particularly called in to talk about? 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.760 Yeah, I mean this is something I haven't really told 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:43.040 anyone before because it's kind of like silly. But last year, 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.120 like right when all the lockdowns were being lifted and stuff, 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.440 I was coming like I was in the middle of 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:54.720 like a really bad depression, and so I decided to 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:59.120 go towards like my faith because I was raised Catholic. 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:03.080 Decided to go to a Bible study. And I went 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:07.679 to like three little sessions of Bible study or whatever, 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:13.160 and in those like three hours, they they convinced me 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:19.480 that the Bible was real and that the revelation was 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:26.000 coming in like twenty years, which, if you don't know, 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.639 the revelation is like the end of the entire world. 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.000 So like the last time I went to the Bible study, 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:36.440 they told me that, and I was like, just to 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.600 make sure you guys are telling me that we're all 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.600 going to die in like forty years. And they were like, yeah, 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:46.679 but it's a good thing, don't worry. And I was like, okay, great, 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:51.680 I kind of ever come back here again. And since 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:57.559 that day, I've had like super, super bad anxiety about 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:01.320 just the world ending. Like I can't watch End of 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:04.639 the World movies anymore, like twenty like movies like twenty 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:08.600 twelve or whatever. I watch Eternals and like the last 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:12.519 scene of that is the earth like about to impode 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.919 or whatever, And I like almost had to walk out 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:18.640 of that. I can't sleep at night without I usually 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:21.160 have your podcast on at night in order for me 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:25.720 to sleep. Actually, but yeah, it's been wild. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:31.920 Now I really want to know what is it? And 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.480 you said that you haven't really been all that religious, 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:35.919 but you wanted to kind of get back in touch 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:45.200 with it. Correct. Yeah, And when you were younger, like whatever, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.120 middle school age or just just just growing up in 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.880 your faith, did they talk about revelations? Do they talk 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:54.480 about the end of the world to you? 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:59.160 No, it was mostly just like learning my prayers and 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:02.120 going to church. But I never really listened in church, 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:03.960 you know, I just it was a thing I had to. 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:04.160 Go to. 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:13.560 What is it that convinced you in these three sessions 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.839 that the world was going to end? 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:22.079 Well, it was they they used the first couple of 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:27.360 sessions to just prove that everything in the Bible was real. 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:30.000 Because at first I was a skeptic. I was like, 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.560 you know, there's no way, but they showed me, like, 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:36.240 and I don't want to say I'm going to be 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:42.120 using confident words, like like they told me that it 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:43.920 was real. They showed me evidence and stuff, but I, 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:45.400 you know, I don't know if I should believe it 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:51.960 or not, but like they just showed me want Yeah, 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.560 they just showed me like specific lines and stuff in 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:59.800 the Bible and then like outside resources that that proved 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:01.680 that that line was correct. And then they showed me 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:06.600 like quite a few things that people at the time 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.320 shouldn't have known that managed to get in the Bible. 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:13.520 So that was like evidence enough for me to be like, 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.120 oh shit, like they know this when they shouldn't have 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:20.200 and it's written in the Bible, so like it probably 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:21.600 is correct. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.240 And then at the end of it, like can I 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:28.800 hear like one example of something that was in the 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:33.000 Bible that they showed you an outside resource of that 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.799 turned out that convinced you that that thing was true. 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.440 The one that I remember, they showed me like three 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:44.040 or four, and the one that I remember is that 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:47.040 in the Bible, it's I don't know the verses or 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:51.080 anything anymore, but they said it's written in the Bible 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:56.720 that the Earth is hanging like in empty space, and 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:00.080 that the Earth is not the middle of the of 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:05.480 the universe. And at the time that the Bible was written, 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.400 everyone believed that the Earth was the middle of the universe, 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:12.520 you know, like they didn't believe that everything rotated around 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.480 the sun, right, So that was that was one thing, 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:17.600 and then I don't really remember the rest. 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:21.440 Okay, all right, So they're showing you evidence that things 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.560 in the Bible are correct, and it's causing you to 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:27.560 believe that the world will end. So, all right, according 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.039 to revelations, when's the world's supposed to end? 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.640 They didn't They don't have an exact timeline. They just 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.400 stood within my lifetime and I'm like, twenty one right. 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:42.159 Now, within your lifetime, world is going to end. Okay. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:45.080 First of all, oh, no, go ahead, I want to 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:45.760 hear what you have to say. 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:50.440 Another thing that they mentioned was in the Bible it's 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:56.520 written about like a female god that was coming, like 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:01.719 when when the Revelation is about to come, there will 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:05.279 be a female god like revealed to the to the world. 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.359 And there are hints and clues of her in the Bible, 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.279 but people won't really put it together until the revelation 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.840 is happening. And so apparently more and more people are 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:20.279 learning about her, and so like that's a clue that 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:21.640 the revelation is happening soon. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.440 So like, if Beyonce does the Super Bowl halftime show 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.680 and she absolutely kills it, that means we're all going 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:28.080 to die. 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:30.520 Yeah, she's God. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:37.320 All right, I want to say this. Okay, here's all 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.120 I have. And this is first of all, this is 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:45.880 something I've always thought, which is that if I'm going 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.800 to die, which and it's not even if I'm gonna die, 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:50.480 I'm gonna die. You're gonna die. Everyone listening this is 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:55.200 going to die. I feel like the best wouldn't it 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.800 wouldn't you want to die in an apocalypse? I would 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:02.640 rather die Like, here's like the best you could possibly 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:06.200 the best move. And it's said in your lifetime. Let's 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.240 say you get to be like eighty years old and 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.080 there's a world ending apocalypse and everything's gonna die. How 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.080 awesome would that be? Wouldn't it? 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:14.400 Really? 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:18.120 Because almost because one hundred percent of everyone dies alone, 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.440 really at the end of the day, unless if like 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:24.640 you and your you know, husband or wife, like both 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:26.760 die right at the exact same moment of cancer or 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.000 something which you know I'm sure has happened once or twice, 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.760 or you both get like like you die alone ultimately, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.200 But wouldn't it be kind of nice to die like 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.520 with everyone else? Wouldn't there be some camaraderie in there. 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.360 Wouldn't the all the like, all the fuck like everything 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:43.239 would just go away, all the wars would be like, ah, 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.920 fuck it, we're gonna be dying anyway, all the little 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:51.440 conflicts it. But actually, like I really do imagine in 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:53.440 a pot and I know this maybe isn't the case 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:56.680 because we've had minor apocalypses and they have not been 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:01.040 moments of unity as as I've I'm hip picture picturing 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.960 in my head to me, an apocalypse, look would be 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:05.920 a moment of unity would be everyone being like, all right, 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.240 none of this are I'm sorry, I'm fighting with you. 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:12.560 Fuck it, Let's all hold hands and dance and just die, 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:15.520 just die because none of this nothing would matter. All 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.520 the petty shit would just stop mattering, and you get 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.559 to die with other people. It's kind of nice because 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.800 I mean, look, let's say there's no apocalypse. You just 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:27.680 die alone in some hospital if you're lucky. Some people 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:30.200 they die on the street. Some people they die in 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:35.679 the middle of the ocean. So first of all, that's 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:38.160 the reason number one why an apocalypse wouldn't be that bad. 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:39.599 It actually be kind of nice. It'd be nice to 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:45.480 die with other people. Second thing, what scares you about 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.040 the apocalypse, like, tell me more about this fear that 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:48.520 you have. 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:55.720 Well, something that they really pushed was like telling more 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.959 people you know about it because apparently if they didn't 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:03.000 know about it and if they didn't take the right steps, 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.560 you know, it's the revelation. So some people are going 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:08.440 to die and they're going to go up to heaven 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:13.280 and then the rest of the people are gonna stay. 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.640 So Earth is going to become like hell on Earth 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.400 and people are going to stay there and it's going 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.880 to be hell. So what really made me nervous was that, 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:28.160 like I really was worried about like my family because 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.400 it's not something that we really talk about at all. 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.320 And I was like, oh, my little sisters like going 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:36.800 to hell for not knowing this, Like I don't know. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.600 It was like a panic thing. I don't want to 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:43.839 die yet. I don't want to die right now. 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.920 Well, well listen, you're not going to die right Oh 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.600 you're gonna die, but you're not gonna die right now. 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.880 Actually I don't Actually I don't know, an I don't 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:56.080 want to guarantee anything, but this sounds like that kind 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.040 of you know, that kind of thing where like isn't 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.680 this kind of the missionary everything where they're like, oh no, 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.000 these poor people they if they haven't heard the word 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:07.760 of the Lord, and if they die without their sins 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:10.120 being cleansed and accepting Jesus Christ, they go to hell. 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:11.240 Is it like that kind of thing? 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:13.280 I think? 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:13.400 So. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:13.959 Yeah. 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:15.880 The girls that were in charge of the study group 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.480 were like from a different they were both from two 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:25.320 different countries, and they've come to my city. I mean, 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:31.000 so I'm I'm scared to not just in case it 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:37.040 is there, and like if I don't believe in heaven, 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.160 like I'm not going to go, but then I'm scared 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:44.480 to believe that there is because I don't, you know, 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:46.640 I don't know the rules they get to heaven like, 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.600 and I don't. I'm scared of well, I would be 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:54.280 scared of hell. So I'm mostly just scared of not 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:58.520 believing and they're actually being a God, and then I 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.120 have to face the I didn't believe in him the 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:01.640 whole time. 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:08.640 See, it's I forget. It's somebody. I forget who said this. 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.720 Maybe it was Marcus Aurelius. And I'm gonna completely butcher this, 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.199 but I remember here, I remember heard some quote. Can 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:16.160 I read you this quote? 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:16.960 The quote? 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.400 Maybe maybe it will make you feel better. It's a 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:25.880 quote I like. It's sort of a religious thing, Marcus Aurelius. 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:30.000 He says, live a good life. If there are gods 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.880 and they are just, then they will not care how 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:36.920 devout you have been, but will welcome you based solely 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.360 on the virtues you have lived by. If there are 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:44.720 gods but unjust, then you should not want to worship 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:48.160 them anyway. If there are no gods, then you will 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.440 be gone, but will have lived a noble life that 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.760 will live on in the memories of your loved ones. 0:11:55.720 --> 0:12:00.920 What he's saying is basically, just go out and try 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:04.880 the best you can to be you know, uh, just 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.959 try the best you can in life, to to to 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.240 be good, to do whatever it is you're doing. Because 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:15.920 here's the thing. If there is a god and he's 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.760 a good guy, then he won't really care how devout 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:23.280 you've been to him. All he really care about is 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.680 that you tried to live a good life. And if 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.760 there is a god, and he does he cares a 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.960 lot about whether or not you were devout to him, 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.800 well he's well, then he's kind of a dick because 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.000 why is he cares so much that you're obsessed with him? 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:38.480 You know? 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:40.200 I mean, and if he's kind of a dick, then 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.720 you shouldn't like him anyway because he's a dick. And 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.240 then if there's no God, well then okay, you lived 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.360 a life, you tried your best, you know, so while 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:53.000 what's what's what's the problem with that? 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.160 That is a very nice quote. I really like that. 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:59.679 Gig Well, one of the things that has helped me 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.560 because it used to be really bad, but I've started 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:07.200 thinking to myself, like every day, I'm like I can 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:10.040 literally die in a car crash on my way to 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.880 cross today, Like so it doesn't really matter. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.600 You know, you know that's a legitimate thought that you're 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:21.400 having right now. You could And when you say it 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:27.520 doesn't really matter, what that means to me. The idea 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:30.480 of nothing mattering is that I get to choose what 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:35.200 matters because nothing inherently matters. So I am bestowed with 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:37.760 the freedom to decide what matters, and if I want to, 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:41.000 I can fall into traps, not if I want to, 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:46.240 but I fall into traps sometimes of feeling like certain 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:49.560 things matter that maybe don't matter that much when I 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.080 think about the fact that I could die in a 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.760 car crash at any moment and neglect the things that 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.880 actually do matter with the knowledge that I could die 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.920 in a car crash at any moment. So I don't 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.920 look at the nothing mattering as something bad. I look 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:13.560 at it as a a a opportunity to reprioritize. Do 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:18.240 you look at it as something bad? 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:24.240 No, I just look at it as in, like fuck it. 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:28.480 Very I come from a very strict household, so recently 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:33.000 I've like been having a lot of freedom and I've 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.720 been allowed basically to just be like fuck it with 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:38.480 a lot of things, and I've done stuff that I 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:41.360 never thought I would do. Before. So it's pretty cool. 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:47.000 That's awesome. I want to get back to your central 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.680 issue before we move on, because there's a lot here. 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:53.600 So you said that, how long ago did you go 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:54.680 to this Bible thing? 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:02.600 I think like last January, like January twenty. 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:06.560 Twenty, June twenty twenty. Okay, so this has been giving 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.080 you anxiety for a long time, for like over two years. 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:16.560 Yeah, no way, think about it. I mean it's gotten better, 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:20.760 but just some habits that I've that I've you know, 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.440 like I haven't been able to sleep in silence since 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.760 But I don't think that's like anything too bad. 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.480 You haven't been able to sleep in silence? 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.880 Oh like you mean you put Yeah, I've just been 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:36.960 something on in the background. 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:44.000 Okay. Well, I'm honored to sometimes be the thing preventing 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:48.520 you from thinking about your own death, except this call. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.000 This call could be like, there could be somebody like 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.680 you who puts on this podcast to sleep at night 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:56.240 and not think about their own death, and this call 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.040 is now ruining that for them. But maybe that's maybe 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:01.000 it needs to be ruined, Maybe it needs to be real. 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.440 Just think about it. You could die like when you sleep. 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:12.200 So it's fine, g. 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:18.280 I I I'll let Marcus Aurelius. I'm such a douchebag. 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:22.040 I'll let Marcus Aurelius speak for me. I'm such a douchebag. 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:27.840 I'll let Marcus aurelia speak for me. And I'll i'll, i'll, i'll, 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.000 I'll say to just do your best, to live a 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:33.240 good life, and God won't really care. And if he does, 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:38.080 then you know, fuck him. 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.200 Thank you guy, that's helped a lot. 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.600 Anything else you want to of course, I appreciate you. 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.080 Uh sleeping to my voice that sounded creepy? Is there 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.920 anything else you want to say to the people of 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:51.000 the computer before we go? 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.600 You were my number one podcast in my Spotify rapp. 0:16:57.400 --> 0:16:59.240 I saw the Spotify. I've been getting a lot of 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:03.080 Spotify wrapped love lately. I don't know when this call 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.280 is going to go on the podcast, But whoever you are, 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.000 if you are listening on the Spotify, I appreciate or 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:11.200 if wherever you're listening, I appreciate you. 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:13.920 All Right, Well, thank you, Greg, have a good. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:18.320 Night, you too, Gigi. I said you two really weirdly 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:19.840 just now forever. 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:33.159 Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi this Lyle, Yes Francis, Yes, this 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.320 is Pross what's going on with your Francis. 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:40.560 Well, I mean, if I was just to get right 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:44.360 into it, I just had some stuff to get off 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:48.439 my chest because I can't really talk about this stuff 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:54.119 any of my friends or family or anybody really, and 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:58.159 I've been struggling with kind of like a do I 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:00.440 or don't I kind of thing. 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.320 Okay, we're going on. 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:13.520 Uh, basically, I have like a crush on my girlfriend's mom, 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:17.760 and I don't know, said I just get into it. 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:19.959 Oh yeah, please get into it. 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:22.000 Okay. 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.960 Well, so there will be times where you know, I'll 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:31.159 go drinking over at my girlfriend's mom house has a 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:37.480 big backyard, I'll uh, sorry work, I'll uh, I'll get 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:41.679 into it and uh we'll start drinking and then everyone 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:45.560 else pass out and then like so when the whole 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:49.600 family is sleeping, it's like a smaller family. Then it's 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:54.800 just being hurt and we I feel like we've built 0:18:55.400 --> 0:19:04.280 a pretty emotional connection and the physical one basically, So 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:09.280 I'll start partying with her and like we'll drink like 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:13.120 two bottles apart liquor together, and like sometimes we start 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:17.040 smoking weed or whatever. And She's had a lot of 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:20.399 really emotional conversations to me where she's crying or like 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:23.640 I even cry about talking about some stuff. And then 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:27.679 after that, the very first time this happened, we were 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:30.920 hanging out, everyone was sleeping in there. All of a 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:34.040 sudden it started getting like like this like tension in 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:40.359 the air, you know, and it's I got to go 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:42.359 to the point where she was like, oh, you know, 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.600 come with me to the bedroom, like help me on 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:48.760 the bed, because she has me problems. And this this 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:50.840 is the first time, so I wasn't really sure what 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:53.560 to expect, but I was getting my hopes up. I'm 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:55.840 not gonna lie, so get her in the bed. 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:57.600 And then she's like. 0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:00.560 Here, lay down with me. I'm like, okay, I lay there. 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:02.879 I feel like I feel like when you bring a 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:04.679 girl over for the first time and she's just sitting 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.760 awkwardly on the bed or whatever. And then so then 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:09.119 she was like, oh, hold my hand. I was like 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:11.760 all right, and then like I feel all this stuff, 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:13.359 and then she starts to roll over and I'm like, 0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:16.640 oh shit. But then at the exact moment, I kind 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:20.800 of freak out and uh, like I was just in 0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:23.280 the bed and then my girl walked in like she 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:25.600 just woke up and she was like, yo, like what's 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:28.040 going on here? Like, oh, I was just helping her up. 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:29.520 She's like, well, why are you in the bed? I 0:20:29.560 --> 0:20:31.840 was like, cause it's comfany. She's like, yeah, that bed 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:33.960 is comfany. All right, Well I'm ready to go home. 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:36.600 So we ended up going home, and this probably happened 0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:39.560 about two or three times, and then all the very 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.760 last time, like another time, like we were I was 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:47.960 getting the bomb for her, which she hides, and when 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:51.520 she when she like she kind of did this thing 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:55.120 where like she leaned over like stuck her like butt out. 0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:57.880 She's and just nothing but a nightgown, and I kind 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:00.679 of like, I'm like, I don't know because there's so 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.520 much like tension. Like I kind of like like start 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:06.880 to feel her like tips and stuff, and she lets 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:14.480 out like a kind of like a m and. 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:16.879 You saw the mom was sticking her butt out and 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:18.360 you started to like touch her. 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:24.360 Yeah yeah I did. Yeah, And it's not like the 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.679 first time like I've I've been like it's always like 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:30.359 kind of like just teazing. It's not like you're actually 0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:34.440 gonna see you anything, So like I just like kind 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:36.560 of like I was kind of like moved because it 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:38.800 was a small closet space, so I was like trying 0:21:38.800 --> 0:21:40.439 to get her to like kind of like you know 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:42.920 when you hold someone so you can get get around. 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:44.080 Him kind of. 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:46.960 So like I guess I played it off like that, but. 0:21:47.000 --> 0:21:51.840 So was like that it was your like when you 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.159 grab someone kids to like move, you were but it 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:57.439 was that was a guy's for just touching her. 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:01.360 I guess, yeah, but I think she was. She knew 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:03.640 what she was doing too. And then when I when 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.719 I grabbed the hiss to move, she kind of like 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.880 I don't know, let out like a little voisish kind 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:14.600 of like a kay, and then like but but I 0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:16.560 never The thing is, this is the problem is like 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:21.920 I love my girlfriend, and I just I wouldn't do anything, 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:23.680 like I didn't want to do anything with it, but 0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.080 then part of me really wants to. So it's like, 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:28.600 do I really love my girlfriend if like I'm having 0:22:28.640 --> 0:22:32.000 these kind of feelings for you know, her mom, and 0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:35.480 like if if this was to happen, then you know 0:22:35.560 --> 0:22:38.600 she's even hate her mom. Then her mom just like 0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.520 loves her daughter. She would never like she wouldn't be 0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:43.440 able of a good relationship with them, and that would 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:46.000 like kill her on the inside because I know her 0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:48.359 pretty well and I don't want to like break up 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.960 a family. And this isn't my first time like doing 0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:54.760 something like this, to where I break a family up 0:22:54.800 --> 0:22:56.920 over something stupid or. 0:22:56.840 --> 0:22:59.480 Like you've done you know you've done this before. 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:04.440 Well not exactly the same thing. But so I was 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.360 dating this girl and her brother had a girlfriend, and 0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:10.760 I cheated on my the girlfriend at the time, with 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:18.320 her brother's girlfriend. So at that point, you know, he 0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:21.040 broke up with her, she broke up with me, and 0:23:21.119 --> 0:23:23.399 I guess the family didn't really break up, but it 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:25.359 did kind of like fuck up a relationships, like the 0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:28.560 family that they built around. There were there's kind of 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:32.600