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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two Case Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some ancient wisdom in the stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: If you want to hear the wisdom from two old

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Speaker 1: heads that know more than they know what to do with,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to wait for a quick message from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors for the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My husband confessed he saw his X the day before.

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Speaker 2: He proposed it was like seeing a ghost. So my husband,

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Speaker 2: twenty eight male, and I twenty seven female, got married

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Speaker 2: three months ago. We've been together for three years now,

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Speaker 2: and now I just feel like everything has gone down

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Speaker 2: the drain. We got into a fight a week ago

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Speaker 2: over practically nothing. It was a stupid fight. We were

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Speaker 2: both really stressed all day because of a personal issue

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Speaker 2: and it's sort of just and it sort of just

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Speaker 2: compounded right before we went to bed and we just

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Speaker 2: started yelling at each other as we were fighting. My

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Speaker 2: husband just sort of yelled that ex girlfriend was right

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Speaker 2: and he shouldn't have rushed into marriage. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user throw away Butterfly eleven and if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime stubbur It. I stopped in my tracks.

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Speaker 2: It felt like a bucket of cold water had just

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Speaker 2: been poured on top of me. He immediately stopped talking.

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Speaker 2: It was so silent. My body was shaking, and I

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Speaker 2: ran out of the room and locked myself in the

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Speaker 2: spare bedroom for the night. The next morning, I found

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Speaker 2: him in the kitchen, and he looked like he hadn't

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Speaker 2: slept a wink. I felt bad momentarily until I remembered

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Speaker 2: what he said. He ended up confessing that the night

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Speaker 2: before he proposed to me, he had gotten a text

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Speaker 2: from his ex girlfriend saying she needed to talk to him.

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Speaker 2: He showed me his phone and there was the text,

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Speaker 2: her asking practically begging to see him, and him agreeing.

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Speaker 2: He explained that she had just been broken up with

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Speaker 2: Apparently the sky was horrible to her, and she thought

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Speaker 2: that my husband would be the only person to understand.

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Speaker 2: And they had gotten to talking and he had told

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Speaker 2: her he was going to propose to me tomorrow, to

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Speaker 2: which apparently she began asking questions about me, about our

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Speaker 2: relationship and stuff. He just began willingly divulging, and then

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Speaker 2: she told him he was rushing into marry He reassured

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Speaker 2: me that last night he was just stressed. He didn't

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Speaker 2: mean it, old buddy, but you said it, and that

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Speaker 2: there is not a day that goes by he doesn't

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Speaker 2: feel like the luckiest man in the world. He was crying,

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Speaker 2: begging for me not to leave him. Things have been

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Speaker 2: tense ever since then. He seems to be overcompensating, or

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Speaker 2: at least overdoing it because he feels like that's what

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Speaker 2: I want. I don't know what I want. I don't

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Speaker 2: even know how to begin to process this. I've sort

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Speaker 2: of been going through it this week, and everyone in

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Speaker 2: my life is telling me different things. So I thought

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Speaker 2: i'd come on here and ask you guys, and we

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Speaker 2: have some comments here, But before we do, I mean,

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Speaker 2: ay ya yai. It's one of those things where when

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Speaker 2: the genie comes out of the bottle and you say

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Speaker 2: something like that, brother Lush.

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Speaker 3: It's not like, not only is she finding out that

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Speaker 3: you talk to your ex the night before you propose

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Speaker 3: to her, she's also.

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Speaker 4: Finding out that you agree with your ex. Right, it's

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Speaker 4: the worst part.

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Speaker 2: Even if you don't and you said that, yeah, as

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Speaker 2: in a weaponized way, it's still like a thing that

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Speaker 2: like like you've been married for three months and you're

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Speaker 2: already whipping out. My ex was right about you. I

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Speaker 2: shouldn't have married you yet. That's you kind of have

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Speaker 2: to mean that a little bit if that comes out right,

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Speaker 2: because that's a choice. I would never say that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean unless I meant.

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Speaker 4: It and you were breaking up with your burtner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Like that's something that comes out and then

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Speaker 2: it's like, well, I guess, uh, I guess we'll talk

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Speaker 2: to the lawyers.

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Speaker 4: That's it. Yeah, for sure, We'll see what he does.

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Speaker 2: Though, I mean, does he have anger issues? Like do you?

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Speaker 2: Is there some kind of maybe you do, maybe you

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Speaker 2: do couples counseling therapy.

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Speaker 4: I think do therapy for sure.

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Speaker 2: But uh yes, But if he's just gonna love bomb you,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if your partner is emotionally mature enough

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Speaker 2: or a marriage right now? Oh yea yea comments. I'm

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Speaker 2: curious did he ever apologize for not telling you sooner

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Speaker 2: that he went to see her? Opie says he apologized

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Speaker 2: after he told me everything that happened, not specifically that

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Speaker 2: he didn't tell me sooner. He just sort of kept

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Speaker 2: apologizing for going to see her over and over again.

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Speaker 2: He also apologized specifically that he threw it back in

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Speaker 2: my face the night prior. I think he sort of

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Speaker 2: was inferring to the whole situation in a way, but

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Speaker 2: he didn't specifically say the words I'm sorry for not

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Speaker 2: telling you sooner. I'm not sure if it matters, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: and comment to replies does it matter to you that

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Speaker 2: he didn't tell you about it sooner? Which again my

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Speaker 2: statement earlier, I was like, I don't know if you

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Speaker 2: need to tell him or tell her. Ever, I think

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Speaker 2: I was based on the fact that you proposed to

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Speaker 2: her seriously, because you can't tell them that in the

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Speaker 2: middle of your proposal or the day before your proposal,

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Speaker 2: because they're going to just think think about that. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you can't have your proposal also be about your ex.

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Speaker 4: I just wouldn't have gone saw my ex.

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Speaker 2: I agree, I just wouldn't have gone in zar hell.

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Speaker 2: It could also be a phone call, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: Op says, yes, it does bother me. We've been married

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Speaker 2: for three months and we got engaged two months before that.

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Speaker 2: Five months feels like a long time to keep this hidden.

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Speaker 2: When I said I'm not sure that it matters, I

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Speaker 2: was more saying I'm not sure if the exact wording

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Speaker 2: he used matters. Not that I don't care that he

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Speaker 2: didn't tell me sooner. Comment Or two says, that's an

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Speaker 2: unringable bell. It's not even so much that he saw

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Speaker 2: her and didn't say anything for me that could have

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Speaker 2: been fine. It's that he's clearly been hearing her words

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Speaker 2: in his head the entire time you've been married. He

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Speaker 2: went into your marriage with doubt and didn't think you too.

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Speaker 2: Supposedly a partnership should even get to have a conversation

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Speaker 2: about that. That's the deal breaker for me. Commenter three,

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Speaker 2: How can anyone get past this type of betrayal? When

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Speaker 2: he yelled that at you about her, and that he

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Speaker 2: agreed he should have never married you, it would have

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Speaker 2: been the end for me. He told you he regrets

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Speaker 2: it's marrying you. How can that not always be in

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Speaker 2: the back of your mind going forward? I'm at four.

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Speaker 2: I think you two would benefit from couple's therapy. He

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Speaker 2: lashed out in anger to hurt you. I understand he

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Speaker 2: immediately regretted it, but he also ended up exposing a

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Speaker 2: lie he hid. He broke your trust seeing her and

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Speaker 2: not mentioning it to you. Did he have at least

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Speaker 2: did he have a last fling with her? I'd have

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Speaker 2: more questions that I'd want answers to. He owes you

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Speaker 2: a genuine apology and changed behavior and jump into.

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Speaker 4: That update update. I think we jump right there.

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Speaker 2: Let's get it four days later. Oh, it's been an

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Speaker 2: interesting couple of days, but things are looking up. He's

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Speaker 2: been sleeping in the spare room since the argument, but

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Speaker 2: we've had a couple of conversations and have come to

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Speaker 2: a conclusion. We have a counseling session booked for next week,

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Speaker 2: and until then we have decided to keep our distance

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Speaker 2: as in separate bedrooms. Thank you to everyone who recommended counseling.

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Speaker 2: For some reason, my brain completely forgot that was an option.

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Speaker 2: I want to give him time before we go to

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Speaker 2: our first appointment to really think about what he wants.

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Speaker 2: He kept saying that he didn't mean what he said,

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Speaker 2: but I need to be sure of that before proceeding.

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Speaker 2: If on the off chance he truly believes what his

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Speaker 2: X said, then I need him to come to that

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Speaker 2: conclusion himself, because I don't think I could take it

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Speaker 2: if I knew he was staying with me because of pride,

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Speaker 2: and not because he loves me. We're going on a

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Speaker 2: date tomorrow night. He's taking me to the restaurant we

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Speaker 2: went to on our first date, and he seemed excited

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Speaker 2: when he told me, So I guess that's good. I'm

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Speaker 2: excited to have some normalcy return to our marriage. So

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Speaker 2: I hope that maybe it's a turning point. As for

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Speaker 2: his ex, to give some context I didn't give in

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Speaker 2: the last post, my husband met her at a bar,

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Speaker 2: not at her apartment or a hotel room. Okay, so

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Speaker 2: that's at least you're meeting in public. It is different,

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Speaker 2: though super different from like meeting absolutely there. Apparently she

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Speaker 2: looked distraught or at least like she had been in

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Speaker 2: a bad situation for a while, and I do empathize.

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Speaker 2: I don't want any woman to be in a relationship

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Speaker 2: that is harmful or emotionally draining. I do believe that

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Speaker 2: my husband didn't she on me, and I know many

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Speaker 2: of you might think I'm being naive about that, but

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Speaker 2: I know my husband, or at least I think I do.

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Speaker 2: I asked him why he said it if he didn't

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Speaker 2: mean it, and he said he's not sure, which is

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Speaker 2: concerning to me. So I hope he can figure it

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Speaker 2: out in time for the counseling session and we can

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Speaker 2: unpack it before we finish. I mean, do we have

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Speaker 2: anything to add? I think we've kind of hit the

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Speaker 2: nail on the head here.

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Speaker 3: It seems like they're still gonna say together, which I

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Speaker 3: honestly I feel like they can.

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Speaker 4: They just need to like keep having these talks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, the couple's counseling needs to happen. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: the thing about counseling is like you need to be

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Speaker 2: really really open because really honest, there are times where

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Speaker 2: you go to counseling and the the end result is, Oh,

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Speaker 2: we've realized we're not actually compatible or not good for each.

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Speaker 3: Other, and that might happen and yeah, and then that's it.

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Speaker 2: But maybe try it because three months is little too early.

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Speaker 2: Maybe to just keep quits. Yeah, off of one like throwaway,

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Speaker 2: like I wanted to hurt your feelings comment, Yeah, let's

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Speaker 2: finish this story. I love my husband and I know

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Speaker 2: he loves me. So while my anxiety is through the

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Speaker 2: roof right now, I hope we can sort this out

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Speaker 2: because I can't imagine a world where he and I

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Speaker 2: aren't together. We have some more comments here Number one,

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Speaker 2: Even with this framing, I don't know if that makes

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Speaker 2: it worse. You say that she was heartbroken and distraught

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Speaker 2: from her previous relationship, and your husband thought it was

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Speaker 2: appropriate not only to reveal that he went to see

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Speaker 2: her before your engagement, but also use that distress as

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Speaker 2: information weapons against you, as a means to hurt you

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Speaker 2: and your feelings. Is he the one taking the steps

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Speaker 2: to set up counseling. Is he the one doing the

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Speaker 2: work to rebuild trust here? It's good that you are

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Speaker 2: being conscious, but keep doing that and just be realistic.

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Speaker 2: Comment to I understand not wanting to walk out because

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Speaker 2: of this. You've put three years into the relationship, you're

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Speaker 2: married now, and your lives are entwined in so many ways.

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Speaker 2: People here will judge you for fighting for this, but

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Speaker 2: it's completely understandable that you want to. What I want

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Speaker 2: you not to forget is how you felt when he

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Speaker 2: said those words. I don't want you to forget how

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Speaker 2: you felt that entire night locked in that room. I

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Speaker 2: don't want you to forget the anxiety you're feeling right now,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want you to forget that your husband

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Speaker 2: deliberately said one of the most hurtful things you could

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Speaker 2: say to a partner when having a stupid fight about nothing.

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Speaker 2: He could have said anything, and he went far below

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Speaker 2: the belt. If those are the verbal jabs he throws

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Speaker 2: when when you're fighting about nothing of consequence, what's he

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Speaker 2: gonna say when you're fighting for something a very real consequence.

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Speaker 2: A third commentarer says, I'm pretty sure I know exactly

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Speaker 2: why he said it. He was mad and he wanted

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Speaker 2: to hurt your feelings, and that was the best ammunition

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Speaker 2: he had to do it. When you do the counseling,

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Speaker 2: if you, guys, decide that you do want to work

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Speaker 2: through this and fix the relationship, healthy communication is going

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Speaker 2: to need to be a huge focal point. He needs

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Speaker 2: to learn how to talk through a disagreement without taking

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Speaker 2: shots at you. And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: I caught my wife saying she'd divorce me if I

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Speaker 3: didn't clean the house.

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Speaker 2: Should probably clean house.

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Speaker 4: Then.

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Speaker 3: My forty male wife thirty seven female and I have

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Speaker 3: been happily or so I thought, married for nine years.

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Speaker 3: Our anniversary is next week. She just left for a

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Speaker 3: four day girls trip in the city, and I'm staying

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Speaker 3: home to care for our three year old son. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Girl Trip Throwaway and if

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Speaker 3: you want to smit your own story, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime Separate it.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't thrilled about it, since it's an expensive trip

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Speaker 3: and money is really tight right now.

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Speaker 4: But whatever.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't get to see these friends very often since

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Speaker 3: they live far away. I suggested that maybe we could

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Speaker 3: all go together and I could spend all day hanging

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Speaker 3: out with our son while she spends time with her friends.

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Speaker 3: We could get a cheaper hotel than the fancy one

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Speaker 3: her friends picked, and then she wouldn't have to share

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Speaker 3: a room with them at night. She snores and is

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Speaker 3: self conscious about it.

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Speaker 2: She didn't like this idea, so.

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Speaker 3: We agreed I would stay home and she would go

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Speaker 3: by herself instead. Our call bar recently broke down and

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Speaker 3: we can't afford to take it to a mechanic, so

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Speaker 3: I decided to work on it over the weekend. I

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Speaker 3: can't leave my kid alone, so I took them with

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Speaker 3: me and plopped them in the car seat with family

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Speaker 3: tablet to watch some kid shows while I work. When

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Speaker 3: I turned on the tablet, a bunch of notifications popped

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Speaker 3: up from a conversation between my wife and her mother,

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Speaker 3: and I could clearly see that my wife said she

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Speaker 3: was going to divorce me if she came home and

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Speaker 3: the house was dirty. It didn't sound like she was joking.

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Speaker 3: It sounded like a foregone conclusion, like she's discussing if

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Speaker 3: she should stay in the state or move away after

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Speaker 3: the divorce. Her mother also seemed to be taking it seriously. No,

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Speaker 3: I'm not the most tidy person, but our house looks

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Speaker 3: like you'd expect anyhouse with a three year old to

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Speaker 3: look cluttered, but not completely disgusting. We don't really have

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Speaker 3: enough storage in our kitchen, so our countertops tend to

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Speaker 3: collect things that we use frequently.

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Speaker 2: She says.

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Speaker 3: She wants our kitchen to look like the ones on

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Speaker 3: TI Talk, but we're always making pbjs, etc. So jars

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Speaker 3: and commonly used utensils tend to live on the counter.

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Speaker 3: We both tidy up when we have time. I do

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Speaker 3: all the grocery shopping all the cooking, and we split

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Speaker 3: the rest of the housework evenly. Her only real solo

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Speaker 3: chores are bathtime with our son and putting the dishes

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Speaker 3: into the dishwasher. She lets them pile up and does

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Speaker 3: them about once per week and complains about how much

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Speaker 3: work it is. I have asked her if she wants

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Speaker 3: to switch chores, and she always gets angry and says no,

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Speaker 3: because she's a bad cook. Here's where it gets weird, though.

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Speaker 3: She just recently had a talk with me about how

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Speaker 3: I don't respond quickly enough to wear texts while I'm

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Speaker 3: at work, and that it gives her massive anxiety because

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Speaker 3: she starts to think that I secretly hate her and

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Speaker 3: want to leave her. I assured her that's not the case,

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Speaker 3: and that it's because I'm busy working. I have a

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Speaker 3: job where lots of people are talking to me about

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Speaker 3: time sensitive tasks. She seemed a little relieved by my response,

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Speaker 3: and now I find out that she's thinking about leaving

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Speaker 3: me anyway, which makes no sense. If she's scared I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna leave her, I thought maybe this was some kind

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Speaker 3: of defense mechanism, but the conversation with her mother happened

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Speaker 3: after I told her that I still love her and

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Speaker 3: that I'm happy being with her. Some added context, she

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Speaker 3: recently discovered TikTok and immediately developed what I think is

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Speaker 3: an unhealthy relationship with the app. I've expressed some concern,

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Speaker 3: but she's a grown woman, so I figured she can

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Speaker 3: spend her free time however she wants.

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Speaker 5: She's religiously watching.

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Speaker 3: Those yeah video Oh yeah, but like the ones I'm

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Speaker 3: picturing is the ones where they do like the organizing

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Speaker 3: the fridge things.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm picturing those, and the ones where they clean

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Speaker 5: like toilets and bats with like toy different products, and

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Speaker 5: you're like, why are.

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Speaker 4: We doing it?

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Speaker 5: Isn't it spotless?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I sometimes tease her that she always has her face

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Speaker 3: buried in her phone now because of TikTok. She just

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Speaker 3: laughs it off. This is her main afterwork activity, though.

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Speaker 3: She lays on the couch or the bed and scrolls

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Speaker 3: through videos on TikTok. While she was packing for her trip,

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Speaker 3: she told me about a TikTok video she saw where

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Speaker 3: a woman left her husband with her child for eleven

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Speaker 3: days and when she came home the house was a disaster.

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Speaker 3: I have not seen this video, so I can't really

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Speaker 3: comment on it, but eleven days with no support from

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Speaker 3: your spouse seems like a pretty long time to me.

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Speaker 3: She was disgusted with how this guy didn't clean up

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Speaker 3: enough before his wife came home and said that he

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Speaker 3: must have done it to punish her. I can't help

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Speaker 3: but notice that she saw this video right before the

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Speaker 3: conversation with her mother. Also a few weeks ago, she

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Speaker 3: also accused me of malicious incompetence. She couldn't explain what

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Speaker 3: it was, but she saw a TikTok video where somebody

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Speaker 3: was talking about their maliciously incompetent husband.

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Speaker 4: Girl, that's you.

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Speaker 5: She's like, I don't really know what this is.

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Speaker 4: But that is that's you.

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Speaker 2: Girl.

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Speaker 4: You've got the weaponize in competence.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm the one not doing the dishes, and I

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00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,600
Speaker 3: guess she felt like it applied to me too. I

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Speaker 3: was pretty offended by this as I bust my butt

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Speaker 3: to keep her home afloat. I asked her for an example,

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Speaker 3: and she couldn't give me one. A few days later,

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Speaker 3: when I came home from my from shopping with our son,

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Speaker 3: she told me that I was being maliciously incompetent for

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Speaker 3: not buying oranges.

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Speaker 4: At the store.

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Speaker 3: Oranges were not on the family shopping lest we keep

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Speaker 3: on the fridge. When I was at the store, I

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Speaker 3: asked my son, the primary fruit eater in the house,

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Speaker 3: what fruit he wanted, and he said bananas, So that

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00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 3: is what I bought, but she insisted that if I

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Speaker 3: were not maliciously incompetent, I would have gotten oranges too.

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Speaker 4: Where are you? What are you talking about the What

355
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 4: was the kid's decree? What was his title? Bananas?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 5: Oh, primary primary fruit eater declared bananas, you bring bananas.

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Speaker 3: I can't help but wonder if these are her true

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Speaker 3: feelings or if she is venting or trying to feel

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Speaker 3: solidarity with these my husband sax TikTok videos.

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Speaker 4: I think so.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk to her about it right now,

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00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 3: but I feel like I should wait until she gets back,

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Speaker 3: since I don't want to ruin her trip with an argument.

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Speaker 3: How do I approach this conversation with her when she

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Speaker 3: gets back. I'm I'm feeling a million different emotions right now.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to lose my wife and son. I

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00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,919
Speaker 3: could just clean the house super well and pretend like

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00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,360
Speaker 3: I never saw the message, but I think that would

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00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 3: eat away at me, knowing that she was thinking about

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Speaker 3: leaving me over something so stupid. And who is to

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Speaker 3: say that there won't be another secret ultimatum in the future.

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Speaker 3: I can't play that game forever. Part of me just

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Speaker 3: wants to print out the divorce papers and hand them

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Speaker 3: to her when she gets home to see what her

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Speaker 3: reaction is, because I honestly can't tell how serious she

377
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Speaker 3: is about the whole thing. But at the same time,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to make it worse if she truly

379
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Speaker 3: is on the fence about it. She's made jokes in

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Speaker 3: the past, at least I thought they were jokes about

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Speaker 3: leaving me for a sugar daddy and having one foot

382
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,000
Speaker 3: at the door. But these were said in a joking

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Speaker 3: manner and we both laughed at it.

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Speaker 5: Oh see, I do think, like think clearly here and

385
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,119
Speaker 5: clean the house like do clean, honestly think, But then

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00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 5: have the conversation when she gets home, be like, hey,

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00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 5: read some messages. Yeah, lean to the house because apparently

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00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 5: that was a problem. But can we talk about this

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00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 5: whole talk obsession with me cleaning that.

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00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, one talk about the TikTok obsession and how it's

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Speaker 3: ruining our relationship and to talk about our chores.

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00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, reassess that you sound like you're doing too much.

393
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 6: Dude, who knew putting a clothes away, sweeping and doing

394
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 6: a little bit of food prep would be the detriment

395
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 6: of a lot of people's relationships. Yeah, yeah, we should

396
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,360
Speaker 6: go back to whenever the women only did it right.

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Speaker 3: Guys, this rage maade Era Riley loves to rage Bay again.

398
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 3: This recent conversation with her mom did not sound like

399
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,919
Speaker 3: a joke to me. This has shattered my world and

400
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 3: I'm not thinking clearly anymore. I'm not sure how I

401
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 3: can go back to the way things were. I don't

402
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 3: know if this relationship is even salvagable. I can't tell

403
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 3: if she's gone crazy or if I'm actually as useless

404
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 3: as these TikTok husbands I keep hearing about and just

405
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 3: don't know it. But there is a little bit left

406
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:02,719
Speaker 3: to this story.

407
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 4: Do you have any final thoughts?

408
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 5: My thoughts stay the same. Yeah, definitely clean the house

409
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 5: and clean it.

410
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,680
Speaker 3: Good, and then call her out and be like the caterpillar,

411
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 3: were you actually going to divorce me if I didn't

412
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 3: clean the house.

413
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 4: Because that's ridiculous.

414
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 5: That's like when they split chores.

415
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 4: They have a three year old.

416
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: He's doing all of the cooking, all of the grocery shopping,

417
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 3: she's doing dishes.

418
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 5: One so weak and when she hasn't communicated any of

419
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 5: this to you, it's through a text to her mother. Yeah,

420
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 5: she hasn't been like, you're cleaning levels that I've nagged

421
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 5: you about so many times are getting to me to

422
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 5: the point where I might divorce you. She's just like,

423
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 5: I didn't tell him to clean the house, but if

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Speaker 5: he doesn't, I'm out.

425
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 2: But hear me out.

426
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Speaker 6: Oh no, of Sannah, make you a better kid?

427
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 4: Not really, am You're talking.

428
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 5: To two kids that are a very good kids.

429
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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I think.

430
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Speaker 5: You're like my mom getting mad at me.

431
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

432
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 3: My mom never was like if you're not good, you

433
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 3: won't get presents. She was just like, if you're not good,

434
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 3: you're gonna get in trouble.

435
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 2: What about the fear of the tooth fairy? What?

436
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,360
Speaker 4: What does the tooth fairy.

437
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: Do make sure your teeth are clean?

438
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 7: I didn't.

439
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 4: Fairy just gave me my teeth. Yeah, it was never

440
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 4: like teeth.

441
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 6: Did any like magical creature in your life?

442
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: Did you like.

443
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 5: Respect scare me? Santa would have the most sway. Yeah,

444
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 5: but I don't think it was ever used against me.

445
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 5: And no, I agree place because I think the threats

446
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 5: that came from my mom were scary enough.

447
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 3: I agree if my mom was scarier than Santa.

448
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, Okay, well I guess, I guess uh Opie's wife

449
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 6: did the right thing and got the mom involved.

450
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,880
Speaker 2: Okay, there we go. Edit.

451
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take a break now. My head hurts and

452
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 3: I've let my kid watch way more Lucas the Spider.

453
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 5: Oh, I love Lucas the Spider.

454
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: I'm comfortable with today. Dang that whiney owl.

455
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 3: You've all given me a lot to think about, well

456
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 3: except for the people that commented before reading the post.

457
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm going to clean the house as well as I

458
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 3: can tonight and print out divorce papers. I don't know

459
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 3: if I'll do anything with them, but if she's really

460
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 3: determined to leave me, then there's not much I can

461
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 3: do about it anyway, so I might as well try

462
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 3: to make it amicable if that's what it comes down to.

463
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 3: I'll try to update, but she's probably not gonna be

464
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 3: home before the forty eight hour time limit on updates

465
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 3: is past, so it might just have to be an

466
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: edit on this post. And there is a second edit,

467
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 3: and I think this is it. Guys, I'm gonna pack

468
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 3: it in for the night. I feel like my responses

469
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 3: are becoming bitter and less constructive. I don't want to

470
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 3: start talking crap about my wife. That's not why I

471
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 3: came here. Thank you all for your health.

472
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 4: That's it.

473
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 5: It sounds like he was wait wait, ready, was he

474
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 5: talking crap in the comments about his wife. My wife

475
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 5: wanted to take a break, but now she's acting like

476
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 5: nothing happened.

477
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 4: We're off the break.

478
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 5: I twenty eight male, and my wife twenty seven female,

479
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 5: have been together for seven years, married for almost two.

480
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 5: We have a beautiful one year old, and I thought

481
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 5: everything was perfect. It's been a rough week. She told

482
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 5: me she wanted a break, completely.

483
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: Out of left field.

484
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 5: I was lost by the way. This comes from Flying

485
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 5: Pleasant eighty three sixty one and if you want to

486
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 5: se meet your own stories, go to the r slash

487
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 5: okay storytime subreddit. She said she needed space to think

488
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 5: and find herself again. Since I'm the sole provider, she

489
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 5: had all day at home with our kid and freedom

490
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 5: to relax. She claimed she wasn't sure who she was

491
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,880
Speaker 5: anymore since her identity changed from.

492
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 2: Who she was to mom.

493
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 5: She said, I haven't met her needs. She has no

494
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 5: love for me and isn't happy anymore. I'm not her

495
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 5: safe space. Even though I work ten to twelve hour

496
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 5: days and take care of our child whenever I'm home

497
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 5: so she can have her own time. She'd been talking

498
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 5: to a new friend group in a video game recently,

499
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 5: especially this new guy. They talked all day and all night.

500
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 5: When I expressed concerns, she said he was like a

501
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 5: brother to her. I trusted her to shut it down

502
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 5: if needed. A day after she asked for the break,

503
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 5: I gave her space, but she constantly wanted to talk

504
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,879
Speaker 5: to this guy and her new friends. She told me

505
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 5: her friend group knew she was married. Hours later, a

506
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 5: good friend informed me she'd been over sharing her needs, affection,

507
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 5: and spicy related saying I didn't meet them anymore, but

508
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 5: this guy she was talking to could. She said they

509
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 5: had more compatibility, even though she'd never met him. That night,

510
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 5: I checked call logs and texts. They'd been sending explicit messages,

511
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:46,479
Speaker 5: asking spicy related questions and comparing me to him, to

512
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 5: the point where they'd gotten off during call.

513
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 3: Oh, so she cheated on you, She full cheated, cheated.

514
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 2: Where did they go?

515
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 6: Did they meet up or something.

516
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 5: They just don't worry about you learn.

517
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 4: When you're older, right, Yeah?

518
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 6: Really?

519
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 2: Where did they go? Did they get off work early?

520
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 5: Yeah?

521
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 2: And then they got to meet up.

522
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like the Petsman's like, they just went to

523
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 5: the farm.

524
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,400
Speaker 6: They went to a farm, really okay, So they met

525
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 6: up in secretly in person.

526
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 5: When she found out I discovered everything, she apologized but

527
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 5: still wanted to talk to this guy because she was

528
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 5: worried for his mental state. From the beginning of our

529
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 5: break my feelings were never considered. I have to focus

530
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 5: on my child to get through living in my own

531
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 5: home while she openly talks and video chats this guy.

532
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 5: She has no reason to make this work because she

533
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 5: doesn't believe all change. Marriage counseling wouldn't help. Since she

534
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 5: doesn't see any love toward me. I'm not her safe

535
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 5: space anymore. This new guy is rough and we have

536
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 5: an update.

537
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, that's your relationship is not.

538
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it. That's not even just emotional cheating. No,

539
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 4: that's like physical cheating.

540
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 5: That becomes physical cheating. Yea, even if you have been

541
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 5: met up.

542
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 4: I agree.

543
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, because at that point you are like

544
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 3: having your like mutually doing doing something on video call.

545
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 5: Yeah. I understand that only providing is in everything. When

546
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 5: raising a child and keeping a family together, there are

547
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 5: many instances where I wish I'd done more so she'd

548
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,479
Speaker 5: feels special and pursued. She believes I won't change and

549
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 5: don't have it in me to meet her needs, and

550
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 5: she feels no romantic connection towards me. My main priority

551
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 5: is our child safety and well being, along with my own.

552
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 5: I went gray rock only asking for child updates. When

553
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 5: I'm at work, I talk to my boss about reducing

554
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 5: hours to work eight to nine hours instead of ten,

555
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 5: ten to twelve. I've contacted lawyers for guidance. I have

556
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 5: screenshots of messages and call logs with time stamps. Since

557
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,239
Speaker 5: I'm the main account holder for our phone plan, I

558
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 5: always have to access call logs. There's still calling and

559
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 5: video chatting, so I'm collecting evidence. The messages are explicit

560
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 5: and concerning. After I first checked her phone, she changed

561
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 5: the past code, so I rely on discord messages on

562
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 5: her computer when I get the chance. Her family knows

563
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 5: everything and doesn't understand why this is happening or why

564
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 5: she's so willing to pursue this guy. Now she's trying

565
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 5: to justify her cheating by claiming I cheated, So she's

566
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 5: justifying it by lying, yeah, like a liar like most cheaters,

567
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 5: so I said, like a liar, pointing to some mark

568
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 5: she doesn't remember giving me. She won't take accountability and

569
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 5: keeps shifting blame. Update two. I started focusing on my

570
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 5: well being and mental state while making sure my child

571
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 5: gets the love and attention she deserves. Coming home from

572
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,239
Speaker 5: the gym, I showered and was spending time with our

573
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 5: daughter when my soon to be ex wife left her

574
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 5: computer unattended. I saw messages on her phone linked to

575
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 5: her computer, hateful messages saying I'm trying too hard to

576
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 5: win her back, that I went to therapy and I'm

577
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 5: trying so hard it's cringe. She's purposefully ignoring me because

578
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 5: she doesn't want involvement with me, and keeps laughing about

579
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 5: what I'm doing, even though I'm not doing this for her.

580
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 3: YI, exc your wife is cringe, dude, Yeah, your wife is.

581
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 3: She's using the word cringe to describe you going to therapy.

582
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 5: To try to save a relationship.

583
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 2: With a child where you both have chew a child.

584
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, I accepted that I needed to move on and

585
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 5: be the best dad for our child while learning to

586
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 5: co parent. She acts civil to me, but crap talks

587
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 5: me to her friends and the guy she's still contacting.

588
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 5: Referring to me as her et. She asked what everyone

589
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 5: thinks will happen, which tells me she's only going to

590
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 5: therapy to check it off. There was no saving this

591
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 5: from the beginning. I told her, if she wants to

592
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: so badly to be with this guy, go ahead. She

593
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 5: chose to step out of this marriage and family. She

594
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 5: has until the end of February to get out, and

595
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 5: the baby stays here. She asked if she can visit

596
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 5: and see our daughter, and I said yes, she's her mother,

597
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,479
Speaker 5: just let me know when, but I'm not preventing her

598
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 5: from seeing her child. She agreed and said she'll be

599
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 5: out of my hair as soon as possible, all while

600
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 5: on the phone with her new babe.

601
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 4: Crazy.

602
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 5: That's cringe cray, that's cringe behavior.

603
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 6: It is cringe behavior. Also, I bet you ten hundred

604
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 6: dollars that she loves this because it's toxic. It gives

605
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 6: that kind of emotion, and as soon as it's all

606
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 6: sudden done, everything's settled, she's gonna get bored.

607
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 4: Well, she's said.

608
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: She said, I don't feel like a woman or a

609
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 3: person an individual anymore, because I'm a mom I've been

610
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 3: reduced to mom, and so she's doing whatever she can,

611
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 3: even if that means blowing up her entire relationship to

612
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: be seen as something other than a mom.

613
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 5: I'm still contacting lawyers, but it seems she's willing to

614
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 5: let everything go to the point I might not need one.

615
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 5: Still doing my due diligence to protect myself and our child.

616
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 5: Update three. She's leaving next week, still headfirst into this

617
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 5: other guy. She asked if she could get birth control

618
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 5: through my insurance. I declined because the main reason is

619
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 5: so she can do whatever she wants with this guy.

620
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 5: He's trying to get his own place so she can

621
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 5: move in, and she's driving all the way there.

622
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 6: Wait wait, wait, wait, this guy doesn't even have his

623
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 6: own place yet.

624
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 4: He can't even afford to buy her birth control.

625
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 5: What we're in agreement about our child. Divorce papers are

626
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 5: written and finaled, as is our custody agreement. Everyone in

627
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 5: the family is disappointed and frustrated, but she won't listen

628
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 5: to anyone besides her new guy and friend group. Update four.

629
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 5: She's been gone about three weeks now. She couldn't find

630
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 5: a rental van before leaving, so the guy drove down

631
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 5: to pick her up. I told her he's not allowed

632
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 5: in the area or apartment while I'm here with our daughter,

633
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 5: so he stayed in his car until she finished packing.

634
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 5: An hour later, she left with him. Close friends came

635
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 5: by as witnesses in case she tries claiming she didn't

636
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 5: leave or abandon us when she clearly did. I'm waiting

637
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 5: for documents to be notarized and sent back. Since she's

638
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 5: no longer in the same state, I've gotten into a

639
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 5: routine taking care of our child while working. I have

640
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 5: lots of support from my family and even my in laws.

641
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 5: Our daughter stays with me since there's no support where

642
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 5: she went and no one would allow her around a stranger.

643
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 5: She's messaged about video chatting with our child, but that's

644
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 5: about our only communication now.

645
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 4: I think you're banned from video chatting.

646
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, first, after what you've done to what you've done,

647
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 3: ah boy.

648
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 5: Update five, It keeps going. It's been roughly six to

649
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 5: seven months since my original post. My wife left me

650
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 5: and my do for a man she'd never met in person.

651
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 5: During these months, it's just been me and my daughter.

652
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 5: Things have gotten better. Our child is healthy and happy

653
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 5: with friends at daycare and Both families have been supportive,

654
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 5: showing her the love she deserves. They still don't understand

655
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 5: why my wife made this decision, but she'll face the consequences.

656
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 5: I was able to serve her at the end of

657
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 5: June in the state she went to, since it was

658
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 5: hard figuring out where she was staying. During these months.

659
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 5: She hasn't planned to visit or see her child. I

660
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 5: let her video chat our daughter at daycare so she

661
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 5: can see her. That's not the same as seeing your

662
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 5: child in person.

663
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, this girl is done.

664
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am not like out.

665
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 5: I mean she's been out the divorce, spiled custodies written out.

666
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 3: We're good then, yeah, pretty pretty cut and dry.

667
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 5: I was waiting for her to have some like crazy.

668
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: Times I am too well wait, that's what she said.

669
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: I forgot unless unless, like unless the title is slightly

670
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 3: an accurate, we might be about to see that.

671
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 6: But either way, Yeah, we got about a foot and

672
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 6: a half left here.

673
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because I can't I can't judge. I can't

674
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 3: give any more commentary that I haven't already given.

675
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 5: Unless she came back with some crazy like I had

676
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 5: a brain tumor that was clouding my chin.

677
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 4: Then we got we're done forever.

678
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, then maybe I don't know.

679
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 5: At least there's like a medical reason that could.

680
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 2: It better be medical.

681
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 6: It better be medical, and you have X amount of

682
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 6: time left to live for us to think about it.

683
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 5: Fast forward to now, I received a message saying she's

684
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 5: moving back to our state and plans to move into

685
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 5: the same apartment complex I'm in. Not once did she

686
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 5: send anything to help or plan to visit our child,

687
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 5: but now she's asking to see our daughter like nothing

688
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 5: happened and she was the one who left. She still

689
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 5: has no income, just like when she first left, and

690
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 5: is relying on her new boyfriend for money. I'm not

691
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 5: sure how she can afford her new attorney and moving

692
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 5: across the country back here in such a short period.

693
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 5: I sent all proof of texts showing adultery and messages

694
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 5: confirming she willingly left for this new man to my attorney.

695
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 5: I'm still waiting for updates. I don't want to come

696
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 5: home from work with my daughter and potentially see her

697
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 5: and her new man at my front door. I've been

698
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 5: in contact with my attorney, who reassured me that since

699
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 5: her name isn't on the lease anymore, she has no

700
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 5: right to access or demand entry to my space. I

701
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 5: got a door camera because I don't know what to

702
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 5: expect from her and this new man. If he's dangerous

703
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 5: or if they both are. If they act up, I'll

704
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 5: have more evidence to protect us. The anxiety of not

705
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 5: knowing if they'll show up is affecting our safety.

706
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 2: Yep, move, yeah, that's hey, it's John here.

707
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

708
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: three minute break with aswer more sponsors.

709
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 2: My ex husband won't allow our daughter to be in

710
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: my wedding, so I took action.

711
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 7: No wonder he's the ex husband and.

712
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 2: There is a trigger warning for a verbal and mentions

713
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: of physical altercation. I need to give some backstory. My

714
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: husband thirty seven male and I thirty seven female, divorced

715
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: six years ago after he cheated on me with a

716
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: college freshman and left me for her wonderful. We have

717
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: two daughters, Emily sixteen female and Gabby eight female. We

718
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 2: were happily married for ten years before everything fell apart.

719
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user less Sentence forty three,

720
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 2: twenty three, and if you want to submit your own stories,

721
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subpured it, so

722
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: the divorce wasn't just about his cheating. He said he

723
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 2: hated me, that I looked ugly, and made cruel comments

724
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 2: about my body that I won't repeat. You can imagine

725
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 2: the pain. It gave me serious trust issues that I'm

726
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: still working through in therapy. But thank god you're in therapy.

727
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 7: We love therapy.

728
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: Emily knew why we divorced and resented her father for it,

729
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: but Gabby was too young to understand. Despite being a

730
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 2: terrible husband, he was a good father. So we shared custody.

731
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 2: The girls stayed with me Friday through Monday. I tried

732
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: my best as single mother, but I would spiral sometimes.

733
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 2: I've been in and out of therapy since divorce. Four

734
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 2: years ago, I met my now husband Ben forty one mail.

735
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 2: We worked in the same building, and he found me

736
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 2: crying on the office roof on what would have been

737
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 2: my wedding anniversary. That same day, my ex had chosen

738
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,359
Speaker 2: to marry his affair partner. Ben listened to my pain

739
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 2: and stayed with me the entire day, even driving me

740
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 2: home because I was too emotionally unstable to drive. Ben

741
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 2: had lost his wife and only daughter in a car

742
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: accident ten years earlier. Oh my god. He was incredibly

743
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 2: fond of my daughter's Emily started calling him dad after

744
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 2: a year of dating, and Gabby calls him Daddy. Ben.

745
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: I was finally healing and becoming myself again. We welcomed

746
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 2: our son a year ago, and my girls were thrilled

747
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 2: to have a brother. Ben proposed while I was pregnant,

748
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 2: and we've been planning our weddings since. Emily is one

749
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 2: of my bridesmaids and Gabby is my flower girl. Since

750
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: Emily is old enough to choose where she lives, there's

751
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: no custody issue with her, but Gabby still goes back

752
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 2: and forth between houses. My wedding is in two weeks,

753
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 2: scheduled for a Tuesday, which is normally my ex's custody day. Initially,

754
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 2: my ex was fine with the wedding plans. I spoke

755
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 2: to him multiple times asking him to drive Gabby to

756
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 2: my mother's place, but now he refuses. He says he

757
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: only gets to see his daughter three days a week

758
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 2: and won't give up his time for some party. I

759
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 2: offered to give him my days for an entire week

760
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 2: in exchange, but he still refuses. I can't change the

761
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 2: date because everything is already booked. We've argued constantly and

762
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 2: I can't handle any more emotional pain. Gabby would be

763
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,479
Speaker 2: heartbroken because she's so excited to be the flower girl.

764
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,439
Speaker 2: Any advice please. And there are comments OPI, your ex

765
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: is using your youngest daughter to get to you. It's

766
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 2: not about her or the wedding. It's about pushing buttons.

767
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: He knows how to do it, and he's found one

768
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 2: to push. Another commentar has the right answer. I learned

769
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 2: it the hard way. In total disclosure, my ex did

770
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 2: something similar. I thought she was above that, but she was.

771
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 2: My four kids didn't go to my wedding to my

772
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: second and current wife. They hold that against her still,

773
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 2: twenty three years later. Karma sucks. Sometimes, as a last

774
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,399
Speaker 2: ditch effort, contact the attorney who used when you got

775
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: divorced and see if they will draft a letter to

776
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,280
Speaker 2: him reminding him that events in parents' lives are usually

777
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 2: negotiated between the willing parents for the good of the children.

778
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: Maybe a letter will adjust his thinking. If not, I'd

779
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 2: follow Delocator's advice and send a final text then let

780
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 2: it go. I'm not sure how he's going to explain

781
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 2: to the youngest why the older can go and she can't.

782
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 2: But that's his anchor. And if younger asks you, why,

783
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: tell her Dad's pushing for you to not be there.

784
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 2: I want you there. He does not firmly point out

785
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 2: that this is on him and not you. Congrats on

786
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 2: the upcoming wedding, Focus on the day, not the absolute

787
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 2: idiot messing with you. And there is an update. Let's

788
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 2: hope it's for the best. It's been hectic since my

789
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 2: last post. I went to pick up Gabby on Friday,

790
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 2: and Emily was furious. She told me that Gabby had

791
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 2: been throwing a tantrum because their father lied to her,

792
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 2: telling her they would go on vacation on my wedding day.

793
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: Gabby said no because she was excited to be my

794
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 2: flower girl. I was livid this coward wanted to manipulate

795
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,839
Speaker 2: my daughter so she couldn't be at my wedding. I

796
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 2: stormed into his house with my fiance Ben and demanded

797
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: to see Gabby. I told him he was a coward

798
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 2: for not being honest about why she couldn't attend the wedding,

799
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 2: and that if he didn't tell her the truth, I would.

800
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: I had screenshots of our messages on my phone. Surprisingly,

801
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 2: he caved and told her the truth. Gabby started crying

802
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 2: and said she hated him. My ex wasn't having it.

803
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 2: He grabbed Gabby away from Ben, calling her a brat

804
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 2: who didn't appreciate her dad. I saw red and pushed

805
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 2: him away. He called me a witch, and his wife

806
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 2: came out trying to handle the situation. A physical altercation

807
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: broke out between him and Ben. Emily was smart enough

808
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,240
Speaker 2: to record everything from a distance. My ex kept shouting

809
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 2: that he wouldn't let my daughter go with me, but

810
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 2: I reminded him this was my custody time. Eventually, he

811
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 2: agreed to let Gabby stay with me until after the wedding.

812
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 2: I have his messages confirming this agreement. When we got home,

813
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 2: Emily asked if we could keep Gabby permanently because she

814
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 2: didn't want to live with their dad anymore. When I

815
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: asked why, she revealed that their father had been increasingly

816
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: angry since I started dating Ben. At first, it wasn't extreme,

817
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: but then he began insulting me behind my back, saying

818
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 2: I had downgraded by dating Ben. He became even more

819
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: agitated when he learned I was pregnant, pressuring his wife

820
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 2: to have children and causing fights between them. Emily also

821
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 2: told me he would lash out at Gabby, scolding her

822
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 2: for small mistakes and forcing both girls to call his

823
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 2: wife Mom. Emily refused. She said the only reason she

824
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 2: ever went back was to protect Gabby, knowing her little

825
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 2: sister had to stay there. I cried and asked why

826
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 2: she hadn't told me. She said she saw how happy

827
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 2: I was with Ben and didn't want to burden me,

828
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 2: and open, honest communication is always key in every situation.

829
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 2: Never forget that I never wanted my daughter to carry

830
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 2: that weight. While I'm proud of her protective instincts, she

831
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,479
Speaker 2: should have told me I'm their mother and protect them

832
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 2: is my job. I had planned to let Gabby stay

833
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 2: with her father during my honeymoon so he wouldn't complain

834
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: about not spending enough time with his daughters. But now

835
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 2: I'm reconsidering everything. I'm really stressed with the wedding next week,

836
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 2: and there is a second update. I think you definitely

837
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: have to bring this information to the courts or whoever

838
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 2: authority is saying that this agreement needs to be kept.

839
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 2: One hundred percent.

840
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 7: Push for soul custody if the kid doesn't I don't

841
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 7: know how it would work, exactly how much weight the

842
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 7: kid would have on it, because like the parents like

843
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 7: agreed to equal custody, so I don't know what that

844
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 7: fight would be like. But if the kid is saying

845
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 7: it and there's like evidence that the dad is getting

846
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 7: more aggressive, yeah, he's getting angrier, is belittling the mom

847
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 7: behind her back. I feel like a good lawyer could

848
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 7: get that in their favor.

849
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: Update number two. I took everyone's advice and filed for

850
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 2: emergency custody. I contacted a lawyer to pursue full custody

851
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: if Gabby Emily is a key witness and she saved

852
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 2: the video she coded. My lawyer said, while I shouldn't

853
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: have gotten physical with my ex, it could be considered

854
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 2: self defense since he was hurting and scaring Gabby. I

855
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 2: was able to get emergency custody quickly. My lawyer believes

856
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 2: I have a strong case for full custody given the

857
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: video evidence and Emily's statement. But I know my ex

858
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 2: won't give up easily, but neither will I. I'm postponing

859
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 2: my honeymoon until this is resolved. Despite the stressful week,

860
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: I managed to cheer up Gabby and my family was

861
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 2: incredibly supportive. We did have our wedding, though some of

862
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 2: the joy felt stripped away by the drama. Nonetheless, I

863
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 2: felt truly special that day. My first marriage was rushed

864
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 2: because of an unplanned pregnancy, but this one felt right.

865
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 2: I got to wear a beautiful gown and walk down

866
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 2: the aisle. My daughters enjoyed it immensely, and I was

867
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 2: grateful to have Ben by my side. I'd always worried

868
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,760
Speaker 2: that no man would want me with all my baggage,

869
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 2: but he stood by me through my worst moments. As

870
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 2: for my ex, he's a lost cause. He's been sending

871
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 2: hateful messages to Ben and me, so we blocked him.

872
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 2: Two days before my wedding, my former in law's visited.

873
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: My ex mother in law wanted me to drop the

874
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 2: case and not take their grandchildren away from their father. Yeah,

875
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: shut all the way up with that. Go talk to

876
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,239
Speaker 2: your son about that. But my ex father in law

877
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: supported me, saying his own son was a danger to

878
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 2: himself and the kids and shouldn't be allowed in near

879
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 2: children at all. W father in law. When my ex

880
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 2: mother in law tried to argue, he shouted, do you

881
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: care more about your pathetic son or the safety of

882
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: your grandchildren. At least someone understood. My ex's wife has

883
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 2: moved out, saying she's too good to be a stepmother

884
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 2: to some ungrateful brats. Great, she's still in her twenties,

885
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 2: so I understand her perspective somewhat. There is a little

886
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 2: bit more story left. Honestly, I feel like everything has

887
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,800
Speaker 2: happened here perfectly, like you said the father in law,

888
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 2: the ex father in law saying that means a lot,

889
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: and it should really make his own son reflect if

890
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 2: he knows that that's being said. But I think there's

891
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 2: a great chance that you're getting full custody here, and

892
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,919
Speaker 2: you know, just leave your ex in the dust where

893
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 2: he belongs. Let's finish this story. People have asked why

894
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 2: I booked a date that conflicted with custody arrangements. The

895
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 2: venue was only available that day, Okay, shut up everybody

896
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 2: being like, why did you not plan your wedding around

897
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 2: your custody agreement with your terrible ex. It's like, because

898
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,800
Speaker 2: it's an exception and it should be made like what crazy?

899
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 2: What if just that.

900
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 7: Day was special to them in their relationship?

901
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, just ridiculous. The venue was only available that day,

902
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: and we'd already postponed once due to my pregnancy. I

903
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 2: didn't think my ex would react this way, especially since

904
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: when he married his mistress, Eh, he took our girls

905
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 2: out of state for two weeks for his destination wedding.

906
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 2: I checked with him multiple times before booking, and he

907
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 2: was fine with it until two weeks before the ceremony.

908
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 2: I know people have called me a bad mother for

909
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: not noticing the problems earlier. I have no excuse. I

910
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: was so consumed with my new life that I didn't

911
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 2: thoroughly check on my girls. My children should never feel

912
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: that sharing their problems will disrupt my life, because their

913
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: problems are my problems. I apologize to both Emily and Gabby,

914
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: and they were kind enough to forgive me. But I'll

915
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: always carry the guilt of not seeing the signs sooner.

916
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. And you

917
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 2: know what, honestly, I'll give you a little grace their Op,

918
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 2: because kids are really good at hiding stuff. It's kind

919
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: of their whole job until they get one, until they

920
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 2: get an actual job. Their job is to hide everything

921
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 2: from you.

922
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 7: And Op already said like when they were married, even

923
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 7: though he was a terrible husband. He was still a

924
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 7: good father to the kids, right, so OPI none't necessarily

925
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 7: have any reason to suspect that that had changed exactly,

926
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 7: especially if the kids aren't showing signs or saying anything,

927
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 7: or if like nothing is physical, because it seemed like

928
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 7: mostly he was just emotional so far.

929
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think it. Everything happened at the perfect

930
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 2: moment so that it didn't get any worse.

931
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 7: I stopped doing favors for my ex because he refused

932
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 7: the only one I asked for.

933
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: I only ask you this one time, and you can't

934
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: do it. Can't throw it, just can't throw it.

935
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 7: This is kind of sweaty, but my thirty female ex

936
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 7: husband Greg thirty eight male, and I have two kids,

937
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 7: Louisa nine and Ted seven. We divorced over five years

938
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 7: ago and co parent very well. The divorce was because

939
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 7: I was happy with our two children, but he wanted

940
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 7: more and even therapy didn't help. We've had basically no issues.

941
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,919
Speaker 7: There's no child support where fifty to fifty have never

942
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,439
Speaker 7: had issues having the kids. If the other parent has

943
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 7: something come up and understand that it's just about making

944
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 7: sure their lives aren't too disrupted and by the way.

945
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 7: This comes from Life of the Party XO, and if

946
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 7: you want to submit your own stories, just go to

947
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 7: the r slash story time subreddit and go from there.

948
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 7: So Greg remarried Tessi thirty eight female, four years ago

949
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 7: and they have another child, a boy, and another about

950
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,959
Speaker 7: to make their appearance in the world in a few weeks.

951
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 7: I am marrying my fiance Luke thirty six, mail in February.

952
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 7: We've been together for about three years and he's known

953
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 7: my kids for two. We moved in together last year.

954
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 7: We have a group chat, but aren't overly friendly or anything.

955
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 7: We only talk about the kids and keep it pretty

956
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 7: light hearted. Our only rules with the other dating is

957
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,760
Speaker 7: that we would introduce our partners to the other before

958
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 7: they met the kids, which went great with both of them.

959
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 7: When Tessie and Greg married, I obviously kept the kids

960
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 7: an extra week for their honeymoon and scheduled for my

961
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 7: actual week so they could settle in. They didn't live

962
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 7: together before they got married. When they had their first baby,

963
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 7: I kept our kiddos for about a month, but brought

964
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 7: them over for a few times to see their new brother,

965
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,760
Speaker 7: obviously so they could settle in. Since it was Tessi's

966
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 7: first baby. A few weeks ago, at one of Lacey's games,

967
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 7: Tessie told me the date her c section was scheduled for,

968
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 7: which was in the middle of their custody week. I

969
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 7: told her we were excited for both of them, and

970
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 7: of course I could keep them that week and my

971
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:00,839
Speaker 7: following week and we could go back to normal their

972
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 7: next custody period.

973
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 2: She kind of.

974
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 7: Hemmed and hawed and asked if we could keep them

975
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 7: for another custody week to give them a month again

976
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 7: to get used to things. I said that was fine.

977
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 7: I didn't expect them to need that much time for

978
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 7: their second baby, but see, sections are major surgeries, and

979
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 7: I said I'd be happy to keep the kids. They

980
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 7: don't live far from us, so bringing them over to

981
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 7: hang out won't be too out of my way, and

982
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 7: of course I love having my kids with me. AnyWho,

983
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 7: we've finalized our plans for our honeymoon, which is three weeks.

984
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 7: I know it seems excessive, but it's something on both

985
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 7: our bucket lists, but not something the kids would be

986
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 7: too interested in, and the honeymoon seems like the best

987
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 7: opportunity to do it. Basically, what would happen would be

988
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 7: that we'd get married on Saturday, my week. The kids

989
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,439
Speaker 7: would stay with Greg that night and stay for his week.

990
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 7: Then they would keep them for our week and their next,

991
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 7: so they'd have them for one of my custody weeks

992
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 7: plus one extra evening. I don't have family around. My

993
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 7: parents passed away, young grandparents before them, and they aunt

994
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 7: uncle who helped raise me, retired to New Mexico go

995
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 7: a three hour plane ride and a two hour drive

996
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 7: at minimum. I have friends who have watched the kids before,

997
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 7: but I didn't see a single issue with asking Greg

998
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 7: to keep them for a week, since it seems like

999
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 7: there's a bit of a precedent. I texted him the

1000
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 7: general plan and emailed him a more detailed one with locations, dates, times,

1001
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 7: et cetera, so he could know where we were and

1002
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 7: how to contact us if there was an issue. I

1003
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 7: thought all was well and good, but they never responded

1004
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 7: until a few days later they emailed me what Luke

1005
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 7: and I jokingly now referred to as the manifesto.

1006
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 2: Oh man, it's just like give him an inch and

1007
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 2: they take a mile classic, especially after they've given you

1008
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:43,280
Speaker 2: the mile before.

1009
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 7: Yeah, so, yeah, exactly like you had to take care

1010
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 7: of the kids, not that you didn't want to, but

1011
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 7: for a month, and they won't take like what an

1012
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 7: extra week in a day?

1013
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's just kind of like, can we all

1014
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 2: just work together here?

1015
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 7: It was long, rambling, repetitive, and still well somehow partially

1016
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 7: written by chat GPT. The gist of it was what

1017
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 7: kind of mother goes on a three week vacation without

1018
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 7: her kids. I'm a terrible person in general for asking

1019
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 7: a young mother to have her step kids full time

1020
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 7: for three weeks while I go and enjoy myself.

1021
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 2: They slash.

1022
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 7: She kept calling TESSI a young mother. I think she

1023
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 7: means mother of young kids, and I know it's not

1024
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 7: the point, but it also kept annoying me. Also, it

1025
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 7: wouldn't be alone with her. Greg would obviously be there.

1026
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 7: I am a horrible co parent for asking them to

1027
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 7: have the kids for three straight weeks while their kids

1028
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,320
Speaker 7: are so young. Their newest baby will be six months

1029
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 7: old by then. By the way, let's not forget these

1030
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 7: are also Greg's kids too.

1031
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, these aren't just strangers children, they're yours children. They're

1032
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 2: your children.

1033
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 7: Apparently it's all well in fine that Luke and I

1034
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 7: don't want any more kids. He has had a ve

1035
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 7: sectomy and known he didn't want kids of his own

1036
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 7: four a while. But we'd better not think that gives

1037
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 7: us permission to dump Luisa and Ted on them to

1038
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 7: gallivant around. I don't think I've ever gallivanted in my

1039
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 7: entire life. We needed to figure our own weeks out ourselves.

1040
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 7: This was not life or passing. It was ridiculous to

1041
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,760
Speaker 7: ask them. I got petty after this, especially them acting

1042
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 7: as if we were constantly dumping the kiddos on them.

1043
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 7: So I went through the last four years of texts

1044
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 7: and made a spreadsheet of how many times either of

1045
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,359
Speaker 7: us has asked the other to keep the kids and

1046
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 7: the duration on an Excel sheet. Oh you know things

1047
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 7: are about to go down when you break out the spreadsheet.

1048
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 2: Breaking out the spreadsheets, we're about to get the receipts going.

1049
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,959
Speaker 7: While we both have made these requests, they have done

1050
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 7: so for eighty seven nights fifty two times versus me

1051
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 7: twelve nights and eight times. Obviously this makes sense since

1052
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 7: they have a baby, and I didn't send it to

1053
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 7: them or anything. But it was just good to know

1054
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 7: that I'm not crazy. My friends say I should tell

1055
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,280
Speaker 7: them that fine, I won't keep them during their custody

1056
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 7: time after their baby comes, I'm not going to do that.

1057
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 7: I love my kids and want to see them as

1058
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 7: much as I can, but I do a lot extra

1059
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 7: for them. And just some examples, I sometimes Luke, if

1060
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 7: he's off work, pick up the kids every single day

1061
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 7: after school, and on Greg's custody weeks, I drop them

1062
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 7: off at their house since he doesn't get off until five,

1063
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,359
Speaker 7: so that Tuessey doesn't have to take the baby out

1064
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,800
Speaker 7: to pick them up. Keep in mind she does not

1065
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 7: work anymore. Our divorce decree says that whoever's week it

1066
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 7: is must drop off the kids at the other parents' house.

1067
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 7: But I've been doing all of the back and forth

1068
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 7: for a while. Again because they have a kid, and

1069
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 7: because it's not that far a five minute drive a

1070
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 7: twenty minute walk, it's nice. I take the kids to

1071
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 7: all their appointments, to all the school parents' stuff during

1072
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,760
Speaker 7: the day, and et cetera. Since I have a super

1073
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 7: flexible schedule and Greg's isn't he would need to use

1074
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 7: PTO for all of this stuff. We usually split health

1075
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,760
Speaker 7: insurance for the divorce decree. They're on his work insurance,

1076
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 7: but since I take them to all their appointments, et cetera,

1077
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 7: I pay all of the copays. I keep it tally

1078
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 7: just in case I would end up owing him money,

1079
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 7: and I know what he pays towards the premiums, and

1080
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 7: in the past it was minimal. But our daughter unfortunately

1081
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 7: has Type one diabetes, which has gotten pretty expensive. It

1082
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 7: wasn't unaliving me, but Greg mentioned how tight money was

1083
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 7: once I was bringing it up, and I decided that

1084
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 7: it's not affecting my life. Our daughter needed it, so

1085
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 7: I've been letting it go. Their son has been in

1086
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,240
Speaker 7: the process of being diagnosed with autism and has pretty

1087
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 7: bad meltdowns. This is all I know from Greg, so

1088
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 7: they call me pretty frequently to see if I can

1089
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 7: come and get the kids for a few hours if

1090
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 7: things are overwhelming. Of course, I love my kids and

1091
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 7: spending time with them, but I've had to cancel plans

1092
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 7: for this and they have not cared. Greg was in

1093
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 7: an accident, has been using my old car. I got

1094
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 7: a new one and hadn't sold the old one yet

1095
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 7: it's not worth a ton or anything. For the past

1096
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 7: seven months with no effort to replace it. There's an

1097
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 7: update but what are we feeling so far? I am

1098
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 7: not getting the good feelings about this man.

1099
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 2: I think it's you know, to me, it's kind of fair.

1100
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 2: It's like, I don't know, I think they need to

1101
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 2: recognize that you've you know, done stuff for them, but

1102
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: they do have like, you know, an infant baby and

1103
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:21,280
Speaker 2: like a special needs son, and it's like that's a lot.

1104
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's not like on op

1105
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 2: or your ex partner to like pick up that slack

1106
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 2: and like it's not absurd to be like, Okay, you

1107
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 2: can watch your kids for three weeks. Like, I know,

1108
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 2: you've got a lot going on, but guess what, It's

1109
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 2: like everyone has a lot going on.

1110
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 7: It's also like they're your kids, and you have another kid,

1111
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 7: You're going to have to.

1112
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: Care for your entire life, right, It's like they're not

1113
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,360
Speaker 2: going anywhere, so you might as well, yeah, you know,

1114
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 2: I mean for three weeks. It's not three months, it's

1115
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 2: not three years, it's three weeks. I think the core

1116
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 2: is just that it's like the good nature is not

1117
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: being reciprocated, right.

1118
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 7: It's an unequal agreement, and it's not especially what the

1119
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 7: divorce decree has stated. It's not being honored, largely on

1120
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 7: Greg's part. Yeah, Greg travels sometimes for work and they

1121
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 7: Greg and the kids have a cat over there. Normally Lise,

1122
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 7: normally Louisa would take care of the litter box if

1123
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 7: Greg was traveling, But since her diagnosis and until we

1124
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 7: get her labs in health under some form of control,

1125
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 7: we both agreed that we don't want her messing with it.

1126
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,439
Speaker 7: They let the cat go outside during the day. Since

1127
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,359
Speaker 7: Tessi has been pregnant, she said she shouldn't have to,

1128
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 7: and Ted is a little young. He tried failed and

1129
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 7: now he helped.

1130
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 2: Well, so I've.

1131
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 7: Been doing it anyway. These are all benefits for them

1132
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 7: that I'm going to inform them aren't ending. I won't

1133
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 7: go back on my words since I have the kiddos

1134
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 7: after she has her c section. But the absolute gall

1135
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 7: of them to not do the one thing I have

1136
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 7: asked of them and that I've done them has brought

1137
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 7: me to this. Most of my friends say I'm not

1138
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 7: going far enough, but if you have said, it might

1139
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 7: cause a breakdown in our co parenting relationship, which would

1140
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 7: affect the kids. That's really the only thing I care about.

1141
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 7: So now I'm hesitating and that's the end of it.

1142
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 2: But what do we think about it? Honestly, I think

1143
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 2: that's entirely up to him. From the sounds of it,

1144
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 2: it sounds like you're not going to uh blow up

1145
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 2: the co parenting situation. You're just like, Okay, then I

1146
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 2: guess I'm gonna abide by the guidelines in our decree,

1147
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 2: you know, if you're gonna be like this. This has

1148
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 2: happened with me with like roommates before, where it's like

1149
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, like we'll be super chill, Like

1150
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 2: we don't have to be like super you know, like

1151
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,919
Speaker 2: anal about you know, every detail of like what's fair

1152
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,479
Speaker 2: and what's not. It's like, well, you know, we'll split

1153
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 2: the bills, we'll do this, we'll do that. And then

1154
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 2: it's like all it takes is one moment of someone

1155
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 2: being like, well, actually this and then it's like, oh,

1156
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 2: so we're not actually cool. Huh, all right, I guess

1157
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 2: we're gonna have to move about this like we're no

1158
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 2: longer cool. It doesn't mean that and I'm gonna like

1159
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 2: you out or like immediately like find someone to replace you.

1160
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:07,280
Speaker 2: But it's like I'm not gonna be a sweetheart anymore.

1161
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna just be gol. I'm like, all right,

1162
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 2: if that's how you feel about it, then let's figure

1163
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 2: out exactly what is. You know, what do we need

1164
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 2: to be doing, what's what's what have we all agreed upon?

1165
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1166
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1167
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 2: My ex's new girlfriend told me to back off, but

1168
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,399
Speaker 2: we broke up years ago.

1169
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:30,720
Speaker 7: That's not mine, man, I do not claim him.

1170
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 2: I wonder if he's got some other girl who's trying

1171
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,760
Speaker 2: to talk to him right now and she thinks it's Opie.

1172
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: A few days ago, my thirty female exes thirty two

1173
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 2: male new girlfriend twenty seven female texted me out of

1174
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:45,399
Speaker 2: the blue and told me, at first politely and then

1175
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 2: not so much, to back the f off and not

1176
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 2: contact my ex anymore because apparently it's disrespectful and I

1177
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 2: should be over it by now. By the way, this

1178
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 2: comes from Dimension Honest seven thirty two, And if you

1179
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,360
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1180
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subredit. So for some context here, my

1181
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 2: ex and I broke up roughly six years ago, but

1182
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 2: we're still friends. Why, Well, because we didn't have a

1183
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 2: reason not to. Our breakup wasn't a dramatic one, just

1184
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 2: two people who'd been together since their late teens realizing

1185
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 2: they wanted different things out of life. But since we

1186
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 2: still got along great and he had his daughter, my niece,

1187
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 2: who I basically helped raise, we decided to stay friends.

1188
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 2: The reason his girlfriend's message surprised me as much as

1189
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 2: it did is that A it came really out of

1190
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 2: the blue. I didn't even know she had my number,

1191
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 2: and B she has absolutely zero reason to be suspicious

1192
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 2: or anything. My ex and I do still hang out, yes,

1193
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 2: but always with either my niece or other friends, and

1194
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 2: on occasion we go to school events for my niece,

1195
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,760
Speaker 2: like when she has a performance or something. I genuinely

1196
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:50,919
Speaker 2: don't think I've done anything with him one on one,

1197
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: since I don't know since before our breakup. I think

1198
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: the most one on one he and I ever do

1199
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 2: is when he drops off or picks up my niece.

1200
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 2: She has a room at my place in case that matters,

1201
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 2: and we wait for her to get her things, but

1202
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 2: that's all. Also, his girlfriend and I have met before

1203
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 2: at my niece's and then my ex's birthday and she

1204
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 2: was nice both times. We didn't talk much, just regular Hi,

1205
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 2: how are you nice to meet you? What a lovely dress?

1206
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 2: Okay bye? So I didn't think she had any issues

1207
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 2: with me. On top of that, I'm dating someone new too,

1208
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,439
Speaker 2: so yeah, I'm not sure what her deal is at all.

1209
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 2: But when she texted me, my butt was halfway to

1210
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 2: give him my ex a ring and telling him to

1211
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 2: maybe have a chat with his girlfriend because something is

1212
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 2: definitely wrong. But another part of me really doesn't want

1213
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 2: to interfere with his relationship like that. That would have

1214
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 2: actually been the funniest thing ever, if after being told

1215
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 2: to stay away from her boyfriend, you call him and

1216
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 2: tell him to check his girlfriend. My ex is a

1217
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 2: good dude, and from what my niece told me and

1218
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 2: from what I've seen at the last two birthdays, he

1219
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,919
Speaker 2: really adored her like he genuinely gets puppy eyes when

1220
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,439
Speaker 2: he looks at her, which that stoic man never does.

1221
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 2: He deserves to be this happy, he really does, and

1222
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 2: most importantly, my niece likes her too. That wasn't the

1223
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 2: case with two other girlfriends he'd had since we've broken up,

1224
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 2: So this is a huge issue. I need to consider too.

1225
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 2: Telling him would put all of this in jeopardy, but like,

1226
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 2: what else am I supposed to do. I'm definitely not

1227
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 2: going to cut contact with either my niece or my

1228
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 2: ex just because she wants me to, No effing way.

1229
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 2: But she was rather insistent on the matter, so I

1230
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 2: don't think she'll leave it alone either. My FLATMATEE is

1231
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 2: team tell him and get it over with, but she's

1232
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 2: with love a bit of a jerk, so I'm hesitant

1233
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 2: to take her word on anything. There is an update,

1234
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 2: but I mean, are we sending a message? Are we

1235
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 2: just going completely like ghosting and waiting for him to

1236
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 2: reach out, Like what's the move?

1237
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 7: There's just so much toxicity here between I think that

1238
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 7: relationship there's something that oh he is unaware of that

1239
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 7: sparked this that is going on. Yeah, maybe like it's

1240
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 7: something that maybe the ex boyfriend isn't even aware of,

1241
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 7: Like what if he said her name in his sleep?

1242
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 2: Oh? Or like imagine he said something like you know,

1243
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 2: like oh, he would have never said that to me, oh,

1244
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 2: or like some kind of comparison of being like, oh, yeah, well,

1245
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 2: that's funny that you say that because my ex, my

1246
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 2: ex wouldn't have said that to me. That's crazy. You know.

1247
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: If it's me, I'm probably like just sending a text

1248
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 2: or yeah, maybe even just making that call, being like, Hey,

1249
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 2: your girlfriend just let me know. She's really uncomfortable with

1250
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 2: the way I talk to you. So I guess I'm

1251
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 2: gonna respect that. Let's let's see what's in the update here.

1252
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 2: Hey again, I thought i'd give you guys a little

1253
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 2: updating case and if you are interested. First, I did

1254
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 2: end up calling my ex acter I came back from

1255
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 2: work last night. I was insanely nervous because I still

1256
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,959
Speaker 2: felt and still do feel bad about rocking the boat.

1257
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, you were right, it should be his decision

1258
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 2: if he wants to cut me off, not his girlfriends Now,

1259
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 2: after some regular chatter, I went in and told him

1260
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 2: what happened, and even read him some of the messages

1261
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 2: his girlfriend had sent me. He didn't say as much

1262
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 2: as I did, not that I expected him to. That

1263
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 2: man has a daily average of fifteen words twenty five

1264
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 2: if he's feeling very chatty and mostly just listened quietly,

1265
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't gauge his reactions, so I kind of ended

1266
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 2: up rambling and mentioning some of the things you guys

1267
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 2: had advised me to. You know, how he can step

1268
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 2: back if that's what he needs. I'd respect his decision

1269
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 2: on that, but how I'd appreciate it if we could

1270
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 2: keep my niece out of it and all that. The

1271
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 2: latter part is kind of where he spoke up mostly

1272
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 2: this to snort, you idiot, and then he told me

1273
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 2: he already knew that she had texted me because my

1274
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 2: boyfriend told him their friends and coworkers. My boyfriend apparently

1275
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 2: noticed that I was more upset than I wanted to

1276
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 2: let on and asked my ex to call me because

1277
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 2: something happened between OP and your current girlfriend. Well, which

1278
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,080
Speaker 2: makes sense, by the way. I've asked my boyfriend if

1279
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 2: my behavior with my ex was ever uncomfortable or inappropriate

1280
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 2: after that girlfriend texted me just to make sure I

1281
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 2: wasn't doing something wrong without being aware of it. And

1282
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:11,959
Speaker 2: I've been stewing over this mess for like nearly a week,

1283
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 2: so yeah, not surprised my boyfriend noticed something was up.

1284
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 2: My ex chose to wait until I said something myself

1285
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 2: before breaching the topic, though my boyfriend didn't tell him

1286
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 2: what exactly happened, but my ex sort of figured it

1287
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,800
Speaker 2: was something like her telling me to cut contact. He

1288
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 2: then once again told me that I'm an idiot and

1289
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 2: that I should have told him immediately because this wasn't

1290
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 2: on the two of them. So he and his girlfriend

1291
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 2: talked about this before, even before they officially got together,

1292
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,040
Speaker 2: and he'd made it very clear that there was no

1293
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 2: way he'd be cutting me off because I've been his

1294
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 2: friend before I was his girlfriend, and I've stayed his

1295
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 2: friend for long after that, and because I'm basically my

1296
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 2: niece's mom or the closest thing that she has to want.

1297
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 2: So before they started dating, he told her that she'd

1298
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 2: have to be cool with that. He'd understand if she wasn't,

1299
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,560
Speaker 2: but he was not going to change his mind because

1300
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 2: I've done on the legwork and she hasn't. Now, according

1301
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 2: to him, she was absolutely fine with it, and even

1302
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 2: told him that she really liked me and wanted to

1303
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 2: get to know me more after the birthdays I had

1304
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 2: mentioned previously, so he doesn't know what has gotten into

1305
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:16,480
Speaker 2: her now. I asked him if she mentioned something else

1306
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 2: at a later time, like something I did or said

1307
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 2: made her uncomfortable or feel insecure, but he said no.

1308
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 2: She also didn't hint at anything, and yes, I asked

1309
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:30,120
Speaker 2: multiple times with examples, just to make sure, because respectfully,

1310
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 2: my ex isn't great at taking hints at all. His

1311
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 2: brain is wired strictly forwards, so anything slightly obscure does

1312
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,080
Speaker 2: not ring any bells in his wee head.

1313
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 7: My thought here is maybe the new girlfriend has friends

1314
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 7: who are putting thoughts in her head.

1315
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:51,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always probably a good you know. Suspicion Number

1316
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 2: one would be the friends, or maybe she just like

1317
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 2: saw like a video online or something where it's like

1318
01:03:57,920 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 2: if you're you know, like a TikTok where it's like

1319
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:04,439
Speaker 2: your ex, like the three giant warning signs, three red

1320
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 2: flags with your current boyfriend if he talks to his ex.

1321
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 2: But anyway, as we chattered on, still trying to work

1322
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 2: out what could have ticked her off, he suddenly got

1323
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,919
Speaker 2: really quiet, and I was like, dude, are you there?

1324
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 2: And then he said that he may have an idea

1325
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:20,800
Speaker 2: what did it for her? He didn't tell me what, though,

1326
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 2: because he said it's a conversation he needs to have

1327
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 2: with her first, so I didn't ask further. He did

1328
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 2: assure me that it was nothing I did.

1329
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 7: Though he mentioned her in his sleep.

1330
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 2: Oh no, we pretty much left it at that, and

1331
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 2: he told me he'd have a chat with her and

1332
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:39,400
Speaker 2: see what's up, and depending on what it is, he'd

1333
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 2: let me know. So now we wait. Oh, and we

1334
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 2: both kind of hope that she left it at contacting

1335
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 2: me and didn't talk to my niece about this. She's

1336
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:49,640
Speaker 2: kind of been in a funk all week but keeps

1337
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 2: telling us it's nothing, so we kind of assumed it

1338
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 2: was hormones or stress and told her to take it easy.

1339
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 2: But since the dates of her bad mood and the

1340
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 2: girlfriend messaging me line up, were a bit worried that

1341
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 2: she mentioned something asked my niece to cut me off

1342
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,520
Speaker 2: or whatever. Anyways, thanks for the advice you guys gave

1343
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 2: me and for telling me to just get it over with.

1344
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:09,560
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't think I would have done it otherwise.

1345
01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 2: If I hear anything interesting, I'll let you guys know,

1346
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 2: But until then, I think this is it. There's an

1347
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 2: edit more info. I think a lot of people are

1348
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 2: confused by my niece being my niece and also my

1349
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 2: ex's kid. Sorry, should have reiterated that before things got muddled.

1350
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 2: A short stack of facts. My ex is a young dad.

1351
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 2: He and I got together roughly a year after she

1352
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 2: was born, but he only introduced me to her when

1353
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 2: she was two and a half. Since I was still

1354
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 2: pretty young then, I wasn't super comfortable with being called mom,

1355
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 2: so my niece quote unquote ended up calling me Auntie.

1356
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 2: This stuck, as she still calls me aunt to this

1357
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:46,200
Speaker 2: day and I call her niece. But were not related

1358
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 2: by blood. Her bio mom is not and has never

1359
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 2: been in the picture. I did all the mom things,

1360
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 2: from potty training her to seeing most of her first

1361
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 2: to going to her parent teacher conferences and whatnot. This

1362
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 2: is why my ex says I'm the closest thing she

1363
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 2: has to a mother. I don't know if we're gonna

1364
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 2: get an explanation here, but I think you're right. I

1365
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 2: think something happened where it's like he mumbled her name

1366
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 2: or something in his sleep, and now she's getting like

1367
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 2: hyper defensive or something that I think is culprit number one.

1368
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 2: So let's finish this story. To finish it up. My

1369
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,680
Speaker 2: ex and I did not break up recently. We broke

1370
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 2: up six years ago because we wanted different things in life.

1371
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 2: We stayed in contact because we've always been friends first

1372
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 2: and most importantly because of my niece. These days, my

1373
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:33,840
Speaker 2: niece comes to stay with me at least every other week,

1374
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 2: sometimes more, sometimes less, because my ex and I are

1375
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 2: both chill with her choosing for herself, and she has

1376
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:42,880
Speaker 2: her own room at my place. And that is the

1377
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,160
Speaker 2: end of that story. I would put, like I'd put

1378
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 2: so much money down that it was something he said

1379
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 2: in his sleep or something the way that he went,

1380
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 2: like that long pause of like, uh, you know, Ugh,

1381
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:57,320
Speaker 2: I think I know what this is, and it's definitely

1382
01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 2: not your fault. I think I know what this is.

1383
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 7: It's something really stupid and like really minor, or something

1384
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:06,280
Speaker 7: really unintentional and something very embarrassing for him.

1385
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:06,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1386
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:07,280
Speaker 4: Probably