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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. That's for you, Jay,

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Speaker 1: it could be your letter. You never know, right, bugle up,

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Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you here. It

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Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Thankanne. You subject why won't he

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Speaker 1: leave his wife? Why won't his wife leave him? What

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Speaker 1: was I thinking the same thing? Though? Right? Youre Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm forty four years old. Reading is fundamental. I know

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Speaker 1: what it is. Huh like I'm still in vacation mode.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm forty four years old, divorced and

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Speaker 1: single for ten years. My husband divorced me because I

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Speaker 1: cheated on him and the man I cheated with was

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Speaker 1: married and he's still married. We met at work and

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Speaker 1: the rest is history. We are still in a relationship

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Speaker 1: and it's been ten years now. Our sex life is great,

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Speaker 1: but our relationship has a few challenges. We have a

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Speaker 1: six year old son, and he has two children with

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Speaker 1: his wife. His wife is known about us from the beginning,

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Speaker 1: due to my husband sending her explicit text messages, hotel

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Speaker 1: he seats, and pictures of us together. She knew about

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Speaker 1: my pregnancy and is aware that her husband spend times

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Speaker 1: with our son, but she will not leave him. He

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Speaker 1: said he's staying because of the kids and she will

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Speaker 1: drag him through the mud if he leaves. I really

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Speaker 1: truly love this man. He met my parents, my siblings,

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Speaker 1: and all of my friends. Everyone knows he's married, but

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Speaker 1: no one makes a big deal out of it. I

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Speaker 1: had to threaten him with child support to make him

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Speaker 1: step up financially to provide for me and my son.

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Speaker 1: He has put our son on his insurance at work

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Speaker 1: as his third child. Nothing I ever do to this

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Speaker 1: man has made him angry enough to cut ties with me.

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Speaker 1: So I really feel that he loves me. I do

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Speaker 1: want more and have expressed that to him, but he

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Speaker 1: says he has too many obligations at home. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I have a boyfriend and everything is fine until

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Speaker 1: reality sets in and he leaves me to go to

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Speaker 1: his wife and other life. I'm sure his wife knows

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Speaker 1: where I live, but I don't understand why she's never

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Speaker 1: acted out over what I've done. He and I will

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Speaker 1: be connected forever because of our son, but I want

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Speaker 1: him all to myself. I'm getting too old for the

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Speaker 1: back and forth, and he is too. Do I give

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Speaker 1: him an ultimatum? Or would that be selfish of me?

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Speaker 1: Would that be selfish of you? What? I think everything

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Speaker 1: that you're doing is selfish because all you're thinking about

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Speaker 1: is getting this woman's husband for yourself. You were selfish

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Speaker 1: when you cheated on your husband in the first place,

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Speaker 1: and I don't see how you don't see any of

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Speaker 1: this as selfish because it's all selfishness. I mean, now

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Speaker 1: you want him to leave and be with you, that's selfish, okay?

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Speaker 1: And he obviously doesn't want to leave his wife. He

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Speaker 1: obviously doesn't. He's giving you every excuse not you, and

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Speaker 1: more importantly, he doesn't have to at this point. He

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Speaker 1: gets anything he wants from you with the arrangement you

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Speaker 1: already have, and everyone is going along with it. You said,

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Speaker 1: he's met your family, he's met your friends, and they're cool,

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Speaker 1: No big deal. His wife is known about your affairs

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Speaker 1: since the beginning. She's still his wife, and no matter

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Speaker 1: what you do to him, you say, he won't leave you.

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Speaker 1: You two started this, you made a child, and now

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Speaker 1: you have a problem with it the way it is now, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, too bad, because this is a mess and

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Speaker 1: this is what messes look like. I mean, trust me, wife,

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Speaker 1: he isn't going anywhere. It's called revenge, okay, called a

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Speaker 1: woman scorned, it's called spite. You think she doesn't know

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Speaker 1: you want her to leave. She probably can't stand her

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Speaker 1: cheating husband. You know, didn't you say he sent her

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Speaker 1: explicit pictures, hotel receipts of you guys together. But she's

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Speaker 1: still not leaving him. That should tell you something right there.

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Speaker 1: So this is what it is and what is going

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Speaker 1: to be. Okay, you need to stop wishing, stop waiting,

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Speaker 1: stop hoping for him to leave her. It's not happening.

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Speaker 1: She's not going to leave him either. The wokest moment

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Speaker 1: you had and this whole entire letter, was at the

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Speaker 1: end when you said you're getting too old for this

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Speaker 1: back and forth, and so is he. And you're right,

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Speaker 1: you're forty four. I say, girl, get your child support

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Speaker 1: like you're doing. Please don't waste any more time on him. Though.

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Speaker 1: You need to get your self respect back. You need

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Speaker 1: to close this chapter of your life. You need to

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Speaker 1: walk away. Stop answering his calls. This is not love,

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Speaker 1: It's not even close. Of course, he needs to pay

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Speaker 1: for continue to pay for the child and take care

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Speaker 1: of his kids. But other than that, you need to

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Speaker 1: move on with your life. Steve. To me, this whole

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Speaker 1: letter ain't got nothing to do with to do. The

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Speaker 1: whole thing to me is the woman who wrote the

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Speaker 1: letter and what she's settling for and what she's accepted,

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Speaker 1: and what she keeps trying to make or wrong or right.

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Speaker 1: And it can't work this way? Woman? What is wrong

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Speaker 1: with you? Your moral compass is so far off. You

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Speaker 1: keep trying to get something out of this that don't

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Speaker 1: belong to you. You have nothing here. You're forty four

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Speaker 1: year old, divorce and single for ten years. Your husband

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Speaker 1: divorced me. My husband divorced me because I cheated on

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Speaker 1: him and the man I cheated with was married and

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Speaker 1: he's still married. Okay, and you're still cheating. Do you

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Speaker 1: understand You've never corrected any of your mistakes, but you

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Speaker 1: want stuff to right itself for you, But you've taken

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Speaker 1: no ownership Look, everybody make mistakes, so I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: beat you up about the mistakes. But damn, you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to grow from your mistakes, learn from him, ask for forgiveness,

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Speaker 1: and move on. You've done none of that. You just

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Speaker 1: keep repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a

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Speaker 1: different results. Don't they say that's the definition of insanity? Absolutely, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Ain't that what they say? So when we come back,

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Speaker 1: we've finished talking to your craziest Yeah, all right, we'll

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Speaker 1: have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after be our subject why won't his wife

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Speaker 1: leave him? We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters subject Why on his wife leave him?

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Speaker 1: Why won't his wife leave him? What? Forty four years old? Divorced?

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Speaker 1: Single for ten years? Your husband divorced me because my

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Speaker 1: husband divorced me because I cheated on him. And the

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Speaker 1: man that I cheated on him was married and he's

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Speaker 1: still married. We met at work. In the rest is history,

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Speaker 1: we are still in a relationship, so you're still cheating

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Speaker 1: and it's been ten years now. Our sex life is great,

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Speaker 1: but our relationship has a few challenges. Oh you mean

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Speaker 1: the fact that he's married, that's the challenge. Okay. We

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Speaker 1: have a six year old son and he has two

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Speaker 1: children with his wife. Oh you mean his family. Okay.

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Speaker 1: His wife has known about us from the beginning due

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Speaker 1: to my due to my husband sending her explicit text messages, hotels, receipts,

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Speaker 1: and receipts of us together your husband. See I didn't

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Speaker 1: catch that at first. Your former husband sent all this

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Speaker 1: information to your wife when he found out you was

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Speaker 1: cheating on him with her husband, He said her all

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Speaker 1: the messages, to receipts and all this stuff. She knew

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Speaker 1: about my pregnancy and as aware that her husband spends

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Speaker 1: time with our son. But she's not. But she will

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Speaker 1: not leave him. Now. Surely said it best. And I

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Speaker 1: hadn't thought of this. This is revenge. Oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no, no no, I'm in this mass. I'm gonna make you

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Speaker 1: wallow in it with me. So I didn't even know that.

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Speaker 1: But women are capable of it. I'm leaving, I'm bouncing.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do revenge somewhere else. We're nothing to sit

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Speaker 1: up in here, but Shirley made a valid point. He

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Speaker 1: said he's staying because of the kids, and she will

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Speaker 1: drag him through the mud if he leaves. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: let me explain something to you. He already in the mud.

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Speaker 1: It can't get any muddy earth. Now she'll tell his

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Speaker 1: job and all this hell, but she gonna drag him

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Speaker 1: through the mud. She giving this band hell. I want

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Speaker 1: you to understand it. I really truly love this man.

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Speaker 1: He's met my parents, my siblings, all my friends. Everyone

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Speaker 1: knows he's married, but no one makes a big deal

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Speaker 1: out of it. You know why they don't make a

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Speaker 1: big deal out of it because you don't don't see.

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Speaker 1: You cool with stupid and they cool with you. So

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Speaker 1: if you cool and stuck on stupid, then we cool

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Speaker 1: being stuck on stupid for you whatever, that ain't what

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Speaker 1: you like everybody day, don't make no big deal out

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Speaker 1: of it. Lady. I had to threaten him a child

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Speaker 1: support to make him step up financially provide for me

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Speaker 1: and my son. He has put our son on his

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Speaker 1: insurance and work as his third child. Nothing now here, depart,

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Speaker 1: Nothing I ever do to this man has made him

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Speaker 1: angry enough to cut ties with me. So I really

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Speaker 1: feel he loves me, so I know what you did.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you that in a second. Now he does

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Speaker 1: love you. You can be in love with two people,

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Speaker 1: but he ain't leaving his wife though. I do want more,

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Speaker 1: and I have expressed that to him, so and what

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Speaker 1: do you do about it? Not? So I do want more.

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Speaker 1: To expressed that to him again, so you're through express it.

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Speaker 1: I'm fink to go home, but he says he has

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Speaker 1: too many obligations at home. Yeah, a wife and two children.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have a boyfriend and everything is

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Speaker 1: fine until the reality sets in and he leaves me

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Speaker 1: to go to his wife and his other life. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure his wife knows why I live, but I don't

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Speaker 1: understand why she's never acted out over what I've done.

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Speaker 1: Let's go back to this line right here. Nothing I

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Speaker 1: ever do to this man has made him angry enough

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Speaker 1: to cut ties with me. So I really feel like

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Speaker 1: he loves me. I'm sure his wife knows why, but

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why she's never acted out over what

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Speaker 1: I've done. Because you've tried to ruin them and now

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Speaker 1: she ain't gonna let you again. Going back to what

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Speaker 1: Shirley said, this is revenge. Oh, so you're gonna ruin me.

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Speaker 1: You ain't gonna have him. I just hold on to

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Speaker 1: this rective mess for why I give you anything? So

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Speaker 1: now you can't win. He and I will be connected

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Speaker 1: forever because of our son. But I want him all

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Speaker 1: to myself. Wait a minute. He has a wife and

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Speaker 1: a family, and you cheated on your family with this man.

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Speaker 1: And you're still cheating with the man, this man and

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Speaker 1: his family, and you want him all to yourself? How

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Speaker 1: do you keep thinking something right it's been to come

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Speaker 1: out of all this wrong you've been doing for all

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Speaker 1: these years. I'm getting too old for this back and

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Speaker 1: forth and he is too He too old for this?

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Speaker 1: Do I give him an ultimatum? Or would that be

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Speaker 1: selfish of me? Hold on, let me ask you something.

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Speaker 1: What ultimatum you talking about? What you're finding threatening with? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, let me see what what're you gonna do?

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Speaker 1: Oh you're gonna tell his wife about y'all. Oh, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna call down on the job and tell him he

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Speaker 1: got a baby out of where? Like? Do you talk

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Speaker 1: about the baby lady put on his insurance? What? What? What? What? What?

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Speaker 1: What ultimatum threatened? Do you have you ain't got nothing.

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Speaker 1: If she says I'm going to leave you, she ain't

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Speaker 1: going nowhere, really not. She just set herself up to

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Speaker 1: state she going where with who man? This man? No,

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Speaker 1: she ain't going nowhere. You have no ultimatum. The best

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Speaker 1: thing you And let me tell you something else, Lady,

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Speaker 1: you will never have a man of your own ever.

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Speaker 1: Not doing this, you have doomed yourself to a lonely life. Sister,

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Speaker 1: unless you change your ways. You got just realize it's

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Speaker 1: a mistake and ask for forgiveness and get up and

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Speaker 1: try again. That's the only thing I got for you.

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Speaker 1: Let come alone, all right? Thank you? Steve. Post your

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Speaker 1: comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: They're coming up at forty six minutes after Junior in

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show.