Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty, And I said, no guests, Your presences
Speaker 1: presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how
Speaker 1: did you dare.
Speaker 2: To surbey me? Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm
Speaker 2: Bridger Wineger. We're in the backyard as usual. There's a
Speaker 2: bird right on cue.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: What's going on? My friends Hannah and Chloe dropped off
Speaker 2: one of those Costco cookies that everyone's been crowing about
Speaker 2: that's sitting in my house. I took a bite of
Speaker 2: it moments ago, just moments ago, and I will probably
Speaker 2: be texting them later that it's fine. It's a fine cookie.
Speaker 2: That could change if I finish it. I should probably
Speaker 2: at least make my way halfway through before you know, deciding.
Speaker 2: We'll see what happens. But who cares. Let's talk to
Speaker 2: the guest. I adore him. It's Kyle Kanane. Kyle, how
Speaker 2: are you welcome to? I said, no gifts?
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: How are you feeling?
Speaker 3: I'm I'm kind of curious about this cookie?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Have you heard about this cookie?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: It's like whenever Costco does something new, it makes waves
Speaker 2: all over the internet. It's a there's something. People just
Speaker 2: they're very curious as to what.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 2: They don't change things very often.
Speaker 3: I think Costco is of the people. Yes, I think
Speaker 3: now we uh we champion Costco because it was the
Speaker 3: guy said he'd fucking kills some but like literally said
Speaker 3: he'd fucking kill whoever changes the price of the hot
Speaker 3: dog special, like use those words exactly. Like I think
Speaker 3: we like this guy. I think this guy is one
Speaker 3: of us.
Speaker 2: He's kind of our president. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know who he is. I don't know
Speaker 3: many more details, but based on that alone, yeah, I've.
Speaker 2: Heard it's a decent place to work. But yeah, they
Speaker 2: don't change anything very often. But they got rid of
Speaker 2: their churo and they've brought in this chocolate chip cookies.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, and.
Speaker 2: It's like eight hundred calories or something, and.
Speaker 3: It's more plussed by it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fine. I mean I eat a lot of
Speaker 2: cookies and I'm kind of a cookie snob. Oh, I
Speaker 2: feel like anyone can be cookies. You can make them
Speaker 2: at home and become a cookie snob immediately.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not hard to do it well right. As
Speaker 3: someone who's never made cookies, what Okay, as a cookie snob,
Speaker 3: may ask you, what is your lowest form of acceptable
Speaker 3: cookie where you like you kind of don't want to admit.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's interesting. I will eat all almost any cookie, okay,
Speaker 2: like in desperation, but I will say there are some
Speaker 2: like I've got some new cookies I won't eat. Ooh,
Speaker 2: I had some from Milk Bar, which used to be
Speaker 2: kind of a fancy I mean like it was a
Speaker 2: cool bakery at one point. Yeah, these were the worst cookies.
Speaker 2: These were one of the worst foods I've ever tasted.
Speaker 3: Wow, because I remember they came in like a gift box,
Speaker 3: right when something when the packaging is too.
Speaker 2: Nice where it's like, oh, this was a robot touched this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah yeah. Do you ever get like a takeout
Speaker 3: from Sugarfish and it comes in like the same packaging
Speaker 3: as an iMac You know, this could be ten dollars
Speaker 3: cheaper if you didn't have to use magnets to close
Speaker 3: the box.
Speaker 2: For my effect is a maculate. It's crazy.
Speaker 3: I mean it feels it does have a psychological effect
Speaker 3: of like, well this is good because I feel bad
Speaker 3: throwing out the box it came in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just feels so pure. But yeah, those milk
Speaker 2: bar cookies are now on my list of not happening. Wow,
Speaker 2: I feel like cookies are kind of having a moment.
Speaker 3: Finally something started. Though, Let's take regular stuff we can
Speaker 3: all access easily and really doll it up, let's really
Speaker 3: trot it out. I think it was I think it
Speaker 3: was the pinkberry is when I first noticed, Like we're like, oh,
Speaker 3: but it's but we should get in the line for
Speaker 3: the pink but like and then you have it. I
Speaker 3: was not like I I can't get gummy bears or
Speaker 3: anything in there, like what I've had a tcby and
Speaker 3: and you went there because thirty one Flavors was closed
Speaker 3: or too far away, like I guess what was yogurt?
Speaker 3: And then people went nuts about pink beer. And I
Speaker 3: think that was to me noticing the escalation of what
Speaker 3: if it was just cupcakes? I'm like, well, what if
Speaker 3: that business is something else in six months? And thens yeah, yeah, yeah, doughnuts.
Speaker 3: It was tacos. We did celebrate talk but tacos are
Speaker 3: still kept. I mean those are still the trucks. I
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can still access them through other but there, well,
Speaker 2: they have had a moment of like they're now at
Speaker 2: places in a taco cost six dollars, which makes no sense.
Speaker 3: The Chicken Chicken had its hey day burgers. They're making
Speaker 3: fancy birds.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean smash burgers right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we had to reinvent things to charge more money.
Speaker 3: And they're okay, all right, all right, that's not just
Speaker 3: Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that's what's happening with cookies right now.
Speaker 3: So we're not getting sponsored by Milk Barny.
Speaker 2: But you know, they can take their money elsewhere. Wow,
Speaker 2: they can sponsor whatever podcast they want, but their money
Speaker 2: is no good here.
Speaker 3: I like this a bold stance for a podcast to
Speaker 3: openly deny sponsorship from something that the host professes to
Speaker 3: enjoy the concept.
Speaker 2: Of well, you know, but this will bring in other
Speaker 2: bakeries with a good product strategy. It's pure strategy. It's
Speaker 2: my chest game.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I won't figure out something I can distress.
Speaker 2: Right now, I will do you know what I'll recommend.
Speaker 2: I think that this might be a Portland company's called
Speaker 2: I think show Stopper cookies delicious, just very basic chocolate
Speaker 2: chip cookies.
Speaker 3: Called showstopper believe.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I want I'm gonna make sure because
Speaker 2: that would be devastating for the bakery if i'm you
Speaker 2: know what if there's another bakery called show stopper.
Speaker 3: I mean, my cookies come by the sleeve, so I don't.
Speaker 3: I can't say that I've ever like individually.
Speaker 2: Yeah, showstopper really for cookies? All right?
Speaker 3: You know what? Based on this alone, now I'm getting
Speaker 3: excited about. I'll give it a whor.
Speaker 2: You're eating out of a sleeve an oreo chips a hoy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, chips ahwai. Took me too late in life
Speaker 3: to realize it was a nautical reference.
Speaker 2: You know, it's hidden there and.
Speaker 3: They don't make any it's just the name. It's just
Speaker 3: the pun. You don't see it.
Speaker 2: There's no boat, there's no little sailor boat with a
Speaker 2: cookie in it or something.
Speaker 3: It's the boat. So like, yeah, chips ahoy, we're sending
Speaker 3: the the chips off to war.
Speaker 2: I guess in a battleship a destroyer. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure what the hoy is was used for
Speaker 3: in nautical terms.
Speaker 2: Do they still say does the navy use a hoy?
Speaker 3: Does it mean that they're leaving or they're coming in.
Speaker 2: I feel it's like it's there. It's like the Yeah,
Speaker 2: the thing is in the distance, or it's we're approaching things.
Speaker 3: Where are the boats. Oh they're a hoy you know
Speaker 3: around or a hoy kind of over there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a I do like a chip's ahoy.
Speaker 2: I mean, but I consider almost a different type of
Speaker 2: food than a cookie.
Speaker 3: It's like, this is the snob coming out. This is
Speaker 3: the I mean, no fence. We're just meeting now, but
Speaker 3: I can see them.
Speaker 2: It's uh, it's so dry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not good.
Speaker 2: It is good, No, I mean it does something to
Speaker 2: your mouth that's not unpleasant.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I gotta have it with milk, yeah, because
Speaker 3: you'll you'll choke you but you'll it's like eating sand.
Speaker 3: It's not great. I'm sorry. Now we're talking about big
Speaker 3: time money with the chip with the Nibisco people. That's right,
Speaker 3: and that's why we're backing off. I see where it's at.
Speaker 3: I see where we're going.
Speaker 2: I will take the Bisco money any day.
Speaker 3: I'm a nil awafer guy, you are, I do. That
Speaker 3: is a bold thing for them to abbreviate in that way.
Speaker 2: You're so, you'll just have a box of Nila wafers.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's got to have. You gotta have something to
Speaker 3: It's a duncable.
Speaker 2: Right, But like you're not. I mean I only consider
Speaker 2: a Nilla wafer as something you put in like a
Speaker 2: banana pudding.
Speaker 3: Okay, So now, as a cookie snob, are you talking
Speaker 3: non duncable cookie? Like is that like? Is that like
Speaker 3: putting ice in your wine too?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. I'll okay, all right, some cookies need the
Speaker 2: little hydration.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta revive them, right, I gotta let them
Speaker 3: know that they're they're up to bat.
Speaker 2: So it's lunchtime right now. I'm just now.
Speaker 3: I just want all cookies. I'll finish this one.
Speaker 2: You didn't like, well, I don't not like it costco
Speaker 2: I haven't the jury is still out. I might love
Speaker 2: the cookie as of right now. It's fine, but it
Speaker 2: was only the edge of the cookie. But Milla wafers,
Speaker 2: you'll just be like, I want some Nilla wafers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I enjoy it. I enjoy a Nila.
Speaker 2: I try that. I haven't eaten just a Nilo wafer
Speaker 2: since preschool. Really, yeah, I remember enjoying them.
Speaker 3: It's a simple, and they're kind of like it goes
Speaker 3: good with a custard.
Speaker 2: You're not wrong, right, And they're kind of thee suly,
Speaker 2: kind of almost puffy. Is that right?
Speaker 3: It's like sandstone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not pure saying. It's like a little structure
Speaker 2: there cliff at.
Speaker 3: The beach where you're like, well, you can't climb it
Speaker 3: and it'll just crumble underneath you, but.
Speaker 2: You can admire it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Have you? I mean, you've never made a cookie? Have
Speaker 2: you ever made a dip? I'm going to a dip
Speaker 2: party this weekend and I've been thinking about I've never
Speaker 2: made a dip.
Speaker 3: Wow, we hit in my wheelhouses here again, not not
Speaker 3: a creator, but definitely an enjoyer dips? Now, are we?
Speaker 3: Is it open ended? They didn't tell you anything else
Speaker 3: to do?
Speaker 2: Just dip?
Speaker 3: Can I ask what you're planning on? Are you fishing? Friedy?
Speaker 2: I'm fishing for ideas. The only thing that's crossed my
Speaker 2: mind is something with a white bean. But I think
Speaker 2: that maybe because the host of the party once made
Speaker 2: me a white bean soup. But I feel like like
Speaker 2: people will pure white beans with you know, garlic or
Speaker 2: oil or something.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm I want Pyramidwest right away. I'm like, all right, well,
Speaker 3: we need a sour cream base. Sour cream or cottage cheese.
Speaker 3: It's some sort of cream cheese based cottage cheese.
Speaker 2: I'm a big cottage cheese eater.
Speaker 3: Really, yes, did you ever this was just a snack
Speaker 3: in our house. Was just cottage cheese with French dressing.
Speaker 3: Oh squirted right?
Speaker 2: French dressing is so sweet.
Speaker 3: I feel like I tarnished my family name by bringing
Speaker 3: that up. Now that's yeah, well, cottage cheese is not sweet,
Speaker 3: so you gottadd something to make it sweet.
Speaker 2: There's something about that that I can't really picture French dressing. Actually,
Speaker 2: I think I was initially picturing Russian dressing, which is
Speaker 2: that thing about the same? Oh it is, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm not on board with this idea anyway to make
Speaker 2: a wet thing wetter.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to have miss stepped. I think it's making
Speaker 3: it wetter. I think you're just loosening it up. The
Speaker 3: Kurds a bit, just had a little viscosity.
Speaker 2: You don't need to be any looser than they are.
Speaker 2: It's already writing the line textually.
Speaker 3: That's that says a lot because now being raised that way.
Speaker 3: I do always cottage cheese a little a little thick
Speaker 3: for my blood. Can we can we dash it with
Speaker 3: something anything, Let's get creative. Yeah, just run it down.
Speaker 3: I need a little soupier than when it's coming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that's the dip. I take just a cottage
Speaker 2: cheese and like a gallon of water.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's all Pinkberry was. That's it's just the yogurt.
Speaker 2: It's just pure yogurt.
Speaker 3: There's but I just the Stockholm syndrome of people like yeah,
Speaker 3: but it's like got a tartness to it. Yeah, because
Speaker 3: it's plain yogurt.
Speaker 2: So it's no longer a treat.
Speaker 3: Because it's not vanilla, which is what we all liked
Speaker 3: before they did this.
Speaker 2: Pinkberry has seen much better days. I feel like they
Speaker 2: are on their way out.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean didn't the like the air to it.
Speaker 3: Clabra homeless guy Like there's a very.
Speaker 2: Tragic story wedding.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the woman who invented her son or something
Speaker 3: got in trouble for like Clobra, a homeless guy in
Speaker 3: an offer. I hope I got this details.
Speaker 2: At least look into the tails. I mean we got
Speaker 2: the cookies. Serious, yeah, against a yogurt air.
Speaker 3: Old Pinkberry's son.
Speaker 2: He Pinkberry a homeless guy like the first crime.
Speaker 3: Wow, there was something.
Speaker 2: That I mean in my mind that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Oh you think because he's just been rolling like a
Speaker 3: like a snobby team with all that.
Speaker 4: Fourteenth twenty fourteen, I'm looking at an LA Times article
Speaker 4: that says Pinkberry co founder gets seven years for beating
Speaker 4: homeless man.
Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, Wow, that's tart. Wow. So he's out of prison,
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 3: Hopefully making amends hopefully, you know. Oh my gorchizing TCB.
Speaker 3: Why Wow.
Speaker 2: I wonder if he's still involved in the yogurt or
Speaker 2: if they've pushed him out, or maybe he ran it
Speaker 2: from prison like a mob boss.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Do you think he was untouchable in there?
Speaker 2: He probably was.
Speaker 3: No, that's the yogurt boy. Leave him alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dip, you didn't offer a single.
Speaker 3: Sorry, didn't we? Yeah? I really just went right to French.
Speaker 2: Came in my head.
Speaker 3: I got I got excited about the idea of a
Speaker 3: lot of dips that I just want right to French. Onions.
Speaker 2: Onion is good, it's such a classic.
Speaker 3: How can you reinvent it right?
Speaker 2: How do you bring some French dressing. French dressing, French dressing, onion,
Speaker 2: and cottage cheese.
Speaker 3: I am not opposed to this at all. I mean,
Speaker 3: I'm trash, all right. If we haven't established trash, I know. Okay, well,
Speaker 3: then what are we arguing.
Speaker 2: For that we need to come together on something? I mean,
Speaker 2: maybe what I do is if I can just kind
Speaker 2: of slither into the party and put it on the table,
Speaker 2: no one's gonna even eat it anyway. There there are
Speaker 2: gonna be so many dips that it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: Slither is a pointed choice of words right there, when
Speaker 3: describing the dip we're coming up with. Right now, let
Speaker 3: me slip in with this bowl of loose soup that
Speaker 3: I've got. I you know what, now I'm now I'm
Speaker 3: trying to think of dips because okay, hummus you can
Speaker 3: dress up a lot of isn't what's hummus.
Speaker 2: Is chickpea, right, yes?
Speaker 3: And you can finagle that with a lot of additions,
Speaker 3: make it your own, right, so blank canvas French onions,
Speaker 3: your French onion. And I'm trying to think of what
Speaker 3: other dip? What are we eating the dip with?
Speaker 2: Well, that's the other question. I mean, I think the
Speaker 2: dip dictates what you're going to be dippinga.
Speaker 3: Is it hot dip? Is it cold dip? I think
Speaker 3: it should be.
Speaker 2: A cold dip because it's just me on a table,
Speaker 2: you know. I don't a hot dip will be cold immediately.
Speaker 3: Okay, good point.
Speaker 2: I mean, what guacamole, But I don't really consider that
Speaker 2: a dip. I feel like that's its own thing you
Speaker 2: look at, you know.
Speaker 3: And this is where I got to ask more about
Speaker 3: the host. How how much are they going to play
Speaker 3: on the technicalities. Are they going to be a stickler
Speaker 3: about the I think.
Speaker 2: They're going to be a stickler. I mean the emails
Speaker 2: is they love dip?
Speaker 3: Could you argue for guacamole as being a dip because
Speaker 3: essentially you're not going to eat it with just a spoon?
Speaker 3: I do that what you can do and what you
Speaker 3: should do are different things.
Speaker 2: Well, the very good point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I I've turned a bowl of chili into dip
Speaker 3: because I've just eaten it.
Speaker 2: With tortilla essentially. I mean, every soup's a dip.
Speaker 3: If you I've yeah, mowed through a half bag of
Speaker 3: tortillas because I'm like, I'm going to dirty a spoon.
Speaker 3: I got these chips. I got this dippable item.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Most soup is just a dip standing still.
Speaker 3: You just yeah corn, cornstarch in and a thicket up.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, that sounds awful. Put that in some chicken
Speaker 2: noodle and that's your dip.
Speaker 3: That's you know, it says a thicks that's we just
Speaker 3: let it sit for a while. You break through the skin,
Speaker 3: there's dip under there.
Speaker 2: I brought my famous chicken noodle dip.
Speaker 3: But I mean, okay, cream mushroom, which I was just
Speaker 3: talking about, what classic additive of every Midwestern castle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. You've put that in some green beans
Speaker 2: and some crispies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was always in the cupboard. You never had
Speaker 3: it by itself.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, that's an ingredient, purely ingredient. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh we got soup. That's not it says soup. But
Speaker 3: that goes well.
Speaker 2: To warm up a bowl of cream of mushroom and
Speaker 2: just eat that.
Speaker 3: I would absolutely do it. I like soup, I like mushrooms.
Speaker 3: I'm not seeing a problem here.
Speaker 2: Have you tried it?
Speaker 3: Oh, eating the cream of mushroom? Yeah, and then it
Speaker 3: throws off the holiday because like, what happened to the ingredients?
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I ate them because it says soups. Yeah, like,
Speaker 3: oh no, that was that was for another thing, Like, well,
Speaker 3: don't call it soup, just call it additive.
Speaker 2: It should just be Campbell's additive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Campbell's. This shouldn't be consumed by itself. Cream of mushroom,
Speaker 3: have that little poison? Yeah yeah, leave it alone. It's
Speaker 3: it's look the same shape as the rest of the soups. Okay,
Speaker 3: we're talking dip. What if you're changing what you put
Speaker 3: into the dip?
Speaker 2: What do you mean, like, not a cracker.
Speaker 3: Everybody's doing crackers. And tell me if I'm just too
Speaker 3: excited about this and you want to change the subject
Speaker 3: at any point, but because what they're going to go? Veggies?
Speaker 2: Right, some old celery.
Speaker 3: You're just talking about cookie dessert?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Interesting?
Speaker 3: Or some sweet dip? Wow with a nilo wafer a neutral? Yeah,
Speaker 3: you want the dipping agent to be to be benign, right,
Speaker 3: And it's exciting in the bowl.
Speaker 2: Right, And the nilla wafer is so unbelievably dry, it's
Speaker 2: essentially a chip.
Speaker 3: Nobody's gonna eat them all by themselves, right, that's all right,
Speaker 3: sweet dips. Sweet dips, which what a nickname for either
Speaker 3: one of us.
Speaker 2: I think that's a great, great plan. I mean, I'll
Speaker 2: have to separate it from the savory dips because you
Speaker 2: don't want somebody running into that.
Speaker 3: Putting a celery stick in there, right, Although that was
Speaker 3: like the better homes and gardens yellow recipes of the
Speaker 3: forties and fifties always had vegetables in the right.
Speaker 2: Have you ever had that?
Speaker 3: I think my grandmother did it once and we were horrified.
Speaker 2: Probably with carrots.
Speaker 3: I think I think it was celery. I mean, just
Speaker 3: anything like and you know, as a kid, jello, you're
Speaker 3: excited about jello. Sure, but then you see anything floating around,
Speaker 3: They're like, well it's been polluted.
Speaker 2: It looks like a mistake has been made.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like we can't Oh there's a mosquito in dish. Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is like Jurassic by now, the end of society
Speaker 3: because we preserved something we should now uh yeah. And
Speaker 3: I think but I was like, just be nice and
Speaker 3: eat it. Trying to excavate horrible, yeah, trying to pull
Speaker 3: out these intruders.
Speaker 2: I mean, I can almost argue for carrots because there's
Speaker 2: carrot cake, and you can like grate them, so it's
Speaker 2: not unbelievably intrusive.
Speaker 3: That's what because I love carrot cake too. But if
Speaker 3: you actually got a chunk of carrot and carrot cake,
Speaker 3: how upset would you be?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it would feel like a finger.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the hell is this? Have a carrots?
Speaker 2: Is carrot cake? No?
Speaker 3: No? By name only, that's what are you doing.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to actually experience the carrot.
Speaker 3: I'm actually wondering where is carrots? Right?
Speaker 2: You don't taste the carrot.
Speaker 3: You never if you saw a hint of carrot, you'd
Speaker 3: be upset. Other than the frosting orange.
Speaker 2: Carrot on there.
Speaker 3: That's the only de cater right. If you ate it, Norman,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't call it carrot cake. If you just tasted
Speaker 3: it and had to name.
Speaker 2: No, No, I would say this is like a ginger
Speaker 2: cake or something like that. Walnuts, walnuts?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Interesting?
Speaker 3: Well, I think sweet dip.
Speaker 2: Sweet, I'm gonna go. I'm okay, I'm not gonna promise.
Speaker 2: I want the party host to freak out if I
Speaker 2: end up with the savory dip. But I would really
Speaker 2: be the star of the party with the sweet dip.
Speaker 3: You'd blow people's minds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people are gonna freak out. Yeah, well, I do
Speaker 2: think we should change the subject because there's something I
Speaker 2: want to talk about. I was really excited to have
Speaker 2: you here today, of course, you know, I thought we
Speaker 2: would have a nice time. I thought we would, you know,
Speaker 2: I would get some advice on dips and then send
Speaker 2: you on your way. So I was a little surprised
Speaker 2: the podcast is called. I said, no gifts, and here
Speaker 2: you twenty five minutes late. Okay, yeah, rude already that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and immediately tell me you've got a gift.
Speaker 3: Okay, I admittedly it's coming right now. If we can hear.
Speaker 2: That, yeah, it's it's an elephant.
Speaker 3: I gotcha. I got you another fountain. I don't know
Speaker 3: if you know that this one's just for dips, though.
Speaker 2: You got me a cho it's a ranch. It's a
Speaker 2: ranch fountain or whatever.
Speaker 3: You know. It depends on how you hook it up. No,
Speaker 3: I know that was the I know that's the Tyler Show.
Speaker 3: And but I also you know the theme song. You
Speaker 3: mentioned that you have too many things already. Sure, but
Speaker 3: so I took that to heart. I didn't want to.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to disrespect the Tyler Show. But I it
Speaker 3: would be rude to show up empty handed.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, got it? The logic, there's tracks enough.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I want, like if I can show you
Speaker 3: all a lot with the gift that I got for you,
Speaker 3: and uh, forgive me. I got one of those I
Speaker 3: got one of those phone cases that's just always greasy.
Speaker 2: Oh my phone is essentially dipped in butter.
Speaker 3: I don't know how well. I mean the very Greasyoki's
Speaker 3: and dip top. I mean I think we can track
Speaker 3: back to why. Okay, So this is let me find here.
Speaker 2: You go very excited to see what this is. Oh
Speaker 2: my god?
Speaker 1: What is?
Speaker 2: Okay? So it's a certificate of adoption. This certifies that
Speaker 2: a star has been adopted for Bridger. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: I've got a lot to say about this from the
Speaker 2: nonprofit Adopted Star Program to support the scientific research efforts
Speaker 2: of an international team of astronomers. Now that seems like
Speaker 2: a loose group that doesn't seem sanctioned by anybody. I
Speaker 2: didn't like read print the White Dwarf Research Corporation, And
Speaker 2: I'm okay. So the adopted Star is t C three
Speaker 2: four five seven six one three three nobody touch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's Kyle claimed.
Speaker 2: This is the second star I own. I'm taking over
Speaker 2: the galaxy.
Speaker 3: Did somebody do this for you already?
Speaker 2: Karen Kilgeroff gave me a star years ago, and the
Speaker 2: whole time, I've been kind of craving another star. I
Speaker 2: love real estate.
Speaker 3: You know what that is? The smart move is to
Speaker 3: invest in real estate.
Speaker 2: It's always going up. So now I own two stars
Speaker 2: I'm taking I'm becoming kind of a Darth Vader type.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't you know. If I knew, if I
Speaker 3: knew it was going to go to a sinister place,
Speaker 3: I may have not.
Speaker 2: Right, You've given me an edge on everyone. I can't
Speaker 2: imagine anybody else's adopted too.
Speaker 3: This does seem like it's the Airbnb rules are going
Speaker 3: to come down on you. I mean thousands of years
Speaker 3: from now, but they're gonna be like, listen, are you
Speaker 3: living on the star?
Speaker 2: Intergalactic skis at least or at least.
Speaker 3: Six months out of the year. I was very excited
Speaker 3: because when I thought of the idea, but also the
Speaker 3: agency would could give you how you would like to
Speaker 3: choose the.
Speaker 2: Star and how does that work?
Speaker 3: Well, it was it was you know, you could like
Speaker 3: look like, oh, here's certain galaxies where you can it's
Speaker 3: not gonna be when you could see. But then one
Speaker 3: of the categories was brightest star available, and I just thought,
Speaker 3: for what a I mean, if that's not a casting
Speaker 3: agency already, I don't know what what we like? That
Speaker 3: alone right there, brightest star available.
Speaker 2: That's such a I was. I was so excited that
Speaker 2: that's how I got.
Speaker 3: To choose it.
Speaker 2: Level of the losers.
Speaker 3: All right, we need we need somebody big, somebody naming
Speaker 3: like all right, not available.
Speaker 2: Who's who's got this weekend off? Is this like a
Speaker 2: sort from uh the price load a high situation where
Speaker 2: you do that on Amazon?
Speaker 3: And that's just kind of rude to ask, isn't it
Speaker 3: a gift? Which is kind of not It's not real.
Speaker 2: It's like it is it the little box you check
Speaker 2: and then it like sorts them.
Speaker 3: Uh well, yeah, I just gave you the different way
Speaker 3: to choose the stars, and I, admittedly for comedic purposes,
Speaker 3: I thought I chose the right one.
Speaker 2: So I've got the brightest one of as of some
Speaker 2: time ago.
Speaker 3: It does yea as of as of last night.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, so what were the other options? For sorting.
Speaker 3: I think for five dollars more.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, So they that should be just a thing,
Speaker 2: it should just be part of the package. I didn't.
Speaker 3: Well, the first page was you could name the first
Speaker 3: search result, you could name a star for free, but
Speaker 3: that one wasn't loading correctly on my phone, so I
Speaker 3: had to go to the next search option down and
Speaker 3: they they did a lot of ship talking on the
Speaker 3: name of Star for Free site, like there's a real
Speaker 3: caddy subculture in the star naming business, which then that
Speaker 3: I didn't go to bed till about a quarter to
Speaker 3: four this morning, and some of us was in regards
Speaker 3: to the gift, not all of it, but there was
Speaker 3: part of it where there's a bit of a I
Speaker 3: mean wormholes, that's a that's a cosmic term as it.
Speaker 3: But that's yeah. So like name is star for Free?
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, so that's interesting. And then the page
Speaker 3: was all it was a bad website. We have a
Speaker 3: bad website.
Speaker 2: I have one of those little under instruction graphics and
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 3: Like it wouldn't shrink down to the phone.
Speaker 2: Wee yeah.
Speaker 3: And so then the next website is like naming a
Speaker 3: star for free? Is it worth it? And I was like,
Speaker 3: no stake situation, That's what I'm like, Well, what do
Speaker 3: you have to say about Like the stars that you're naming,
Speaker 3: they might not even be out there. They could just
Speaker 3: be yanking your chain. This one, here's a verifiable star.
Speaker 3: So apparently some people complained about the first leg. I
Speaker 3: named a star for free, and you gave me coordinates
Speaker 3: and it's bumpkus out there.
Speaker 2: I went there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted no on like this this site, the
Speaker 3: one I got you. That's they're going to give you
Speaker 3: their own NASA linked map with coordinates.
Speaker 2: So I could go there. Yeah, get in a fight
Speaker 2: with anybody who shows up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if there's just a night you're out here
Speaker 3: and you're having a low night, you know, you just
Speaker 3: cookies are bumming you out. It wasn't the best dip
Speaker 3: of the thing. You're like, I don't know if I'm
Speaker 3: maybe if I'm not cut out for this business anymore.
Speaker 2: You look at this guy, you.
Speaker 3: Just know, Hey, out there somewhere, Bridger is the brightest
Speaker 3: star available waiting for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I've got two options. I have two vacation homes. What
Speaker 2: did she mean?
Speaker 3: What what's Karen's like?
Speaker 2: It's I mean it's a gorgeous star. I think it's uh.
Speaker 2: I think she.
Speaker 3: Named her they got the money now, she went nice
Speaker 3: for you. The Sun it's one of the moons around Cet.
Speaker 3: I own the Sun. Yeah, not taken a star, but
Speaker 3: you can see it right there. No one fuck with me.
Speaker 3: I'll turn it off as soon as I want to. No,
Speaker 3: I think she named it or I can't remember. She
Speaker 3: named it Bridger A twelve and so really, I mean
Speaker 3: it was a I feel like there must be a
Speaker 3: million of these star businesses.
Speaker 2: Why don't I start one of these?
Speaker 3: It was I mean it was a whole first page
Speaker 3: of the Google searches.
Speaker 2: That's a great passive income.
Speaker 3: I think you should do name a star. But then
Speaker 3: it's like a pick. Sure of Bradley Cooper, but you
Speaker 3: could just name him whatever you want.
Speaker 2: To name them. Sorry, it's not your name anymore, Brad.
Speaker 2: That's a very smart idea.
Speaker 3: It's Chuck Mankowitz yuh.
Speaker 2: Own.
Speaker 3: He owns an HVAC heating repair out of Canton, Ohio.
Speaker 2: And renamed Jennifer Lopez Tyler.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I got the business is up.
Speaker 2: And running ten dollars. How could I say?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: A defamation? It's defamation on me. I got this copyright
Speaker 3: on this whole thing.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a I mean that's a name. You've now
Speaker 2: got an agency and a new website. This has been
Speaker 2: a this is a money making podcast.
Speaker 3: I mean this is really this is the new Shark
Speaker 3: Tank here.
Speaker 2: This is essentially a financial show.
Speaker 3: I like this.
Speaker 2: Watch Shark Tank.
Speaker 3: These dip ideas. Sorry, I'm going back to that do
Speaker 3: I Every time I watch Shark Tank. They're just I
Speaker 3: just feel bad for the people that are so sincere
Speaker 3: and they're bad ideas, and then rich people are mean
Speaker 3: to them. I'm like, that's just the world. That's the
Speaker 3: world as it is.
Speaker 1: Is.
Speaker 3: Rich people are going to tell you how you're going
Speaker 3: to fail, and you'd be like, oh, thanks so much.
Speaker 2: It feels very dystopian. Yeah, it's like you've come before
Speaker 2: your overlords to beg.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just having a job with a boss and
Speaker 3: you need time off. Nope, but it's not good for
Speaker 3: the bottom line, all right. Bald guy and smarmy lady
Speaker 3: and the guy who owns sports I don't know who's
Speaker 3: on that show.
Speaker 2: It's made me cry before, really because I felt they
Speaker 2: were being well. I did have strep throat at the time,
Speaker 2: so it was weak already. But I thought they were
Speaker 2: going too mean to the people, and I started crying.
Speaker 3: Do you when when you know a producer is like
Speaker 3: telling them, like, you got to get destroy you guys,
Speaker 3: get meaner to these people because ratings dictate. We want
Speaker 3: to see that, we want it to be sinister.
Speaker 2: That absolutely happens there.
Speaker 3: But then there, I can't think of any ideas that
Speaker 3: are on there. I don't want to like have osmosis
Speaker 3: ideas or right.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, this is the thing. I just had
Speaker 2: a friend on it. Yeah, it was incredible. I felt
Speaker 2: starstruck by it. She was on there pitching did she
Speaker 2: got a deal?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 2: She has. She runs this company fish wife. Have you
Speaker 2: heard of this? It's tin fish.
Speaker 3: I mean I've heard of tinned fish. It's a I mean,
Speaker 3: I mean cream and mushroom soup. By the can. You
Speaker 3: think I don't know what tin fish?
Speaker 2: You're like an alley cat.
Speaker 3: I go with more of a raccoon vibe myself. I
Speaker 3: need those imposable thumbs open all these can goods.
Speaker 2: But she was on there. She didn't embarrass herself. It
Speaker 2: wasn't like one of these things where she sings a
Speaker 2: song at the beginning of her She didn't rap or
Speaker 2: do anything. She just went on and presented the facts
Speaker 2: and walked away with the deal. I was shocked.
Speaker 3: Tin fish she reinvent howd she repitch?
Speaker 2: She's made it fancy, the oldest consumer food good.
Speaker 3: She's mad.
Speaker 2: She's made it fancy, like sourcing it from good places.
Speaker 2: And it does taste good.
Speaker 3: To come with a dip with a what tinned dip?
Speaker 2: Oh, tinned dip? That sounds interesting.
Speaker 3: Listen, do you have connections we should get on this show?
Speaker 3: We're the brightest stars available. How are we not on
Speaker 3: Shark Tank pitching tinned dip? Listen? These can goods They're good.
Speaker 3: Weren't so in California? Everybody's got an earthquake kit. You're
Speaker 3: looking at it boring beef jerky stuff I've seen before,
Speaker 3: freeze dried meals. I would love an option for some
Speaker 3: flavor to feel fancy in a crisis.
Speaker 2: That's such a good prying it open. Actually, just doing
Speaker 2: this reminds me that I can think of one tinned dip,
Speaker 2: and it's a tinned bean dip that you'll see gas stations.
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen this?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, I have seen that. Okay, this is my
Speaker 3: problem with shark tank. I invent something and then just
Speaker 3: I just have it in the cupboard. You mean bean dip? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess talking about the very beginning that you were like,
Speaker 3: like a white bean dip and I was like, that's exotic, Like, no,
Speaker 3: it's bean dip. It's a different color being, isn't.
Speaker 2: I mean bean dip. What we're currently talking about is
Speaker 2: a refried bean dip. It is. It comes in a
Speaker 2: can usually, but the little I'm thinking about, the little
Speaker 2: tiny ones are almost like a cat food can.
Speaker 3: That's that's the bean dip. That's the Friedo lay bean,
Speaker 3: the cheese dip usually in front of the other Freedo
Speaker 3: lay products.
Speaker 2: I love a frido as a dip. That's a chip scop. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they have to scuupables.
Speaker 3: The fact that they had to up it, like you
Speaker 3: know you could do this is I'm like, yeah, yeah, guys,
Speaker 3: we all know that. What do you think has been
Speaker 3: going on? I've just been putting I've been taking a
Speaker 3: handful of dip and put it in my mouth and
Speaker 3: then just eating Frito's.
Speaker 2: I know what to do with your chip? Wow, that's
Speaker 2: that's the real first pinkberry reinventing. I think we're all
Speaker 2: we already.
Speaker 3: Have savory pink berry.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Dropping free doo lays on a frozen yogurt
Speaker 2: doesn't sound.
Speaker 3: Because it's more just dips, all right? See now I
Speaker 3: just invented a.
Speaker 2: Talking about completely different neither.
Speaker 3: I said, no dips with the brightest star available bread.
Speaker 2: I can't believe we're now deep back.
Speaker 3: Into shark tank. Give us a million bucks. We already
Speaker 3: have it started.
Speaker 2: We'll figure it out after we have the money.
Speaker 3: Think how many dips you can get if that was
Speaker 3: the podcast?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I would be surrounded by dip Would.
Speaker 3: You be offenditive? I just went off and did this
Speaker 3: because I mean, look at us. I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: going to eat more dips than you might.
Speaker 2: I love a dip. I'll out dip you.
Speaker 3: Now it's a challenge.
Speaker 2: Now it's a challenge podcasts uh where everyone ends up sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no Yeah, don't get the FDA involved with
Speaker 3: the dip making process.
Speaker 2: Here back to the star for a minute. Okay, what
Speaker 2: gave you this idea?
Speaker 3: I've always loved the uh arrogance of whoever thought like
Speaker 3: you see all that why don't we why don't we
Speaker 3: name them? And then this I just the concept of
Speaker 3: naming stars has always been silly to me, and I
Speaker 3: mean equal parts like romantic or thoughtful or absolute horseshit
Speaker 3: like like like so like a mix between those. And
Speaker 3: I thought that this one, this organization, not just because
Speaker 3: it was the second one that would load on my phone,
Speaker 3: but also because their whole spiel about like, well, the
Speaker 3: money you're paying is going to the search for another
Speaker 3: inhabitable planet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the whole thing you just read.
Speaker 3: Is like yeah, it's like this is going to research
Speaker 3: to find other earthlike planets. So like, not only are
Speaker 3: we like naming stuff that we shouldn't be naming, but
Speaker 3: we're probably ruining this something. Yeah, we are going to
Speaker 3: need another spot. So that kind of delight like blissful
Speaker 3: cluelessness got me excited about this particular organization that I use.
Speaker 2: That is the weird thing about space of like who
Speaker 2: owns the moon? This kind of thing. Eventually there's gonna
Speaker 2: be a fight over that.
Speaker 3: Wasn't there the idea of somebody's gonna do like drone
Speaker 3: advertising or moon was it on the moon? It was
Speaker 3: like something like like how they could do drone shows,
Speaker 3: but now it'll be advertisements, which I always thought just
Speaker 3: the airplane the banner, those were rude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's already invading my space and.
Speaker 3: You're just at the beach where you can't drink legally.
Speaker 3: It's like about a corona. Like that plane crashes, which
Speaker 3: I gotta stop saying stuff like that because then once
Speaker 3: in a while things happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of these ad planes blows up.
Speaker 3: I feel terrible about this.
Speaker 2: Podcast kind of does bring these things to reality. Oh really, yeah,
Speaker 2: so just give me happen. It'll probably happen.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Before the banner pilots be safe out there,
Speaker 3: follow fa.
Speaker 2: Pro cost and peace to that pilot and guys went
Speaker 2: down the ad agencies that was paying for the banner and.
Speaker 3: Freedom's you know, you could use them to scoop and
Speaker 3: then it's just like tell my family I love them,
Speaker 3: and then you still see the banner. Last plane crashes,
Speaker 3: but you're like, ah, I.
Speaker 2: Could go for some much to sink into the sea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is tragic, most pretty hungry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the I guess that's in the same
Speaker 2: category as the drawing things with the smoke.
Speaker 3: Which has that ever gone, well.
Speaker 2: I've never seen a successful one. I've always seen like
Speaker 2: two letters that I'm driving and I'm like, well, I
Speaker 2: wonder what that was.
Speaker 3: I don't think anybody has. I don't think anybody's had
Speaker 3: the patience.
Speaker 2: It takes a long time.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, the stages of watching and are like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's a skywrider, and then you're watching and then you
Speaker 3: get the first letter, and then that goes away and
Speaker 3: you're like, well, wait, what was the was this part
Speaker 3: of the second letter or was that the first letter?
Speaker 3: You're like, I'm late for a thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean there's a good chance you missed four
Speaker 2: letters before the one you saw. Yeah, so it's just
Speaker 2: not worth investing your time in.
Speaker 3: Great idea, poor execution, horrible execution. And then there's a
Speaker 3: heart and then presumably a name, which at that point
Speaker 3: you're somebody's just making somebody else stand around like but
Speaker 3: wait when they're looking at their watch like skyriders great now, No, no, no,
Speaker 3: hold hold on, Gertrude, you need to I think it
Speaker 3: looks like a g to me, just boring your loved one. Yeah,
Speaker 3: just a long named loved one. It's contemplating leaving you
Speaker 3: in that moment because you just want to stand in
Speaker 3: a field for forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: How much does that cost? I wonder?
Speaker 3: I would hope a decent amount, but I feel like
Speaker 3: normal people do it, but it feels like to money. Well,
Speaker 3: money and good ideas aren't always in the same bed.
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true. But I feel like having a
Speaker 2: plane and go into the air at all must cost
Speaker 2: so much money at least you have any idea how
Speaker 2: much that costs?
Speaker 4: I mean base cost. It starts at thirty five dollars
Speaker 4: for a single writing. I don't know if that's just
Speaker 4: like better or if it's a word can get very pricey.
Speaker 3: It's like somebody saw how much money you can make
Speaker 3: being a good cake decorator, and like I'm going one
Speaker 3: up that.
Speaker 4: Okay, the thirty five for like a message, so I
Speaker 4: think it's like for the whole, like a normal message,
Speaker 4: twenty five it should.
Speaker 2: Be more like initial is like, oh, that's a lot
Speaker 2: of money. And now I'm thinking, actually.
Speaker 4: Someone's risking their life to write your stupid message in
Speaker 4: the sky. Like every time somebody gets into a plane,
Speaker 4: it's not a guarantee they're going to come back down.
Speaker 2: Right, especially one of these tiny ones.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and there those aren't the well up kept.
Speaker 2: They're not the bowings that are.
Speaker 3: That's that's a guy's plane. That's a guy like, Oh,
Speaker 3: I got I'll do I'll do one up on door dash.
Speaker 2: It's just me Rick, and I'll go get every stuff
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 3: I'll go get it.
Speaker 2: Opens the barn doors and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what do you? Just give me a call,
Speaker 3: I'll get it. If the car starts, I'll get it. Like,
Speaker 3: that's who's doing the sky riding.
Speaker 2: Thirty five hundred dollars. I feel like that covers the gas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I don't, I know't how much flights
Speaker 3: cost just to sit in the plane.
Speaker 2: Right for a bad seat? Yeah, out like.
Speaker 3: Either skywriting should be more airline passenger line should be
Speaker 3: a lot cheaper.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's probably both.
Speaker 3: Thirty five hundred bucks, right, I love you, but also,
Speaker 3: can you get me to Phoenix?
Speaker 2: Let me.
Speaker 3: I don't want to say kill two birds with one
Speaker 3: stone too close to what we're doing with the plane, but.
Speaker 2: I feel like a Phoenix trip to Phoenix from Los
Speaker 2: Angeles should be twenty five dollars.
Speaker 3: I feel like they should pay you for going to
Speaker 3: Phoenix personally. That's what I think. I think there should
Speaker 3: be an incentivized reason to go to Phoenix.
Speaker 2: I had a layover in Phoenix recently and I looked out.
Speaker 2: I obviously didn't visit the city or experience the culture
Speaker 2: or the people. He did.
Speaker 3: You went to the airport.
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some good eggs in Phoenix. But when
Speaker 2: I looked at it, I was like, Wow, this is
Speaker 2: a fascinating environment.
Speaker 3: Yeah. What if we took all the stuff that people
Speaker 3: liked about Las Vegas and got rid of that but
Speaker 3: still lived here as an affront to God.
Speaker 2: Actually, what you're describing is something that appeals to me
Speaker 2: without casinos.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just blisteringly hot. Uh, people convincing themselves it's
Speaker 3: the best. They have an ice skating rink there in
Speaker 3: the winter time, which the winner is still eighty degree
Speaker 3: outdoor I drink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh that's a waste, we waste.
Speaker 3: May as well just have a sky rider. Let you
Speaker 3: know where the outdoor ice skating rinked. It's because their
Speaker 3: environment that doesn't even exist out here. It's the desert.
Speaker 2: Wow, Phoenix, I'm not coming anytime.
Speaker 3: Yes, I go to Phoenix pretty often. Phoenix's they know
Speaker 3: what they know where.
Speaker 2: They're everybody's got there something, yeah, and everybody, well a
Speaker 2: lot of cities are bad.
Speaker 3: It's not my joke, and I wish I could remember
Speaker 3: who to give credit for. But the airport in Phoenix
Speaker 3: is called sky Harbor, and like, good job, that's just
Speaker 3: another name for airport. Like it's not even creative. You
Speaker 3: just look, it's the same thing that's their airport now,
Speaker 3: and it's like that kind of sums up Phoenix. Yeah,
Speaker 3: sky Harbor.
Speaker 2: All right, I mean it does. Wow, there's something very
Speaker 2: romantic about that until you break it down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't think about it. And I feel bad
Speaker 3: that I can't remember the comedian's name. Who did that? Oh,
Speaker 3: it's stuck. It stuck.
Speaker 2: The airport is basically on the same level as toilet.
Speaker 2: I feel like those words are very similar, Like they
Speaker 2: bring to my toilet.
Speaker 3: Oh really? Are you? Clearly not a fan of traveling.
Speaker 2: I do hate to be on a plane. I mean
Speaker 2: excruciating physically for me, is it? And I feel bad
Speaker 2: because I'm not a large person. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: I have leg room and everything, but it's horrible for.
Speaker 3: Me to bring it back around bisc off cookies. How
Speaker 3: do you feel about those?
Speaker 2: I like them?
Speaker 3: Does it I do very much? Now does that make
Speaker 3: the traveling a little bit better? No?
Speaker 2: Okay, because it is something where I'm like, well this
Speaker 2: is this is never a cook I would buy on
Speaker 2: my own, but I'm going to enjoy it.
Speaker 3: Here I've thought about I've enjoyed biscuit. Maybe it's like
Speaker 3: a you know, like a Stockholm Sea, like a prisoner scenario,
Speaker 3: like oh, you know, when you've been in the desert
Speaker 3: for a year, You're like, this is the best water
Speaker 3: I've ever had, Like this cookie is the greatest. I
Speaker 3: can't get it.
Speaker 2: They do surprise you. Yeah, it's like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: like the flavor in it is unlike any other thing
Speaker 2: you're eating.
Speaker 3: Ever, Yeah, I didn't expect to be treated this. Well,
Speaker 3: there's a fancy sweats or whatever they give you.
Speaker 2: The biscuss I mean that and ginger ale go hand
Speaker 2: in hand as far as like plain foods. Oh, okay,
Speaker 2: that I enjoy them on a plane, but nowhere else.
Speaker 2: Tomato juice, Oh that's interesting. I've never had a tomato
Speaker 2: juice in a plane, but it makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, give me a tomato juice. I don't know why.
Speaker 3: I'm usually I usually now these days, and like a flight,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be drunk, noise canceling headphones.
Speaker 2: Just passed out drunk.
Speaker 3: Joe Rogan can keep his deprivation tanks. I just need
Speaker 3: noise canceling headphones and a trip to few drinks. I'm
Speaker 3: somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that cookie. That's usually what I pick
Speaker 2: over the pretzels at this point. Then I'll put it
Speaker 2: in my backpack sometimes for a special treat.
Speaker 3: Later, I might have him in back now every weekend,
Speaker 3: I've got all kinds of weird airplane snacks.
Speaker 2: Probably crushed a powder.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god, let me hang on to this pepper packet.
Speaker 3: You never know. I get an unseasoned meal while also
Speaker 3: having my travel gear with me.
Speaker 2: And those pepper packets do absolutely nothing to change the
Speaker 2: flavor of a food. No, No, I mean you need
Speaker 2: at least eight of those before it starts to be like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I have pepper on this.
Speaker 3: And I like that it's in the two tubes in
Speaker 3: the packet.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're thinking about the two tubes. I'm thinking about
Speaker 2: the more the straight up straight up.
Speaker 3: Here, like the actual fingernail amount of like magic dusting
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 2: The two tubes is crazy.
Speaker 3: That's like whoa, Hey, you don't want to go too
Speaker 3: crazy with all this pepper. We're going to give you
Speaker 3: the option to like slow it down a.
Speaker 2: Little bit and start with the one. Yeah, see how
Speaker 2: you feel.
Speaker 3: Don't overdo it. The chef took a lot of time
Speaker 3: if you had a restaurant with the two tube pepper packet.
Speaker 2: I think we should play a game. Okay, I feel
Speaker 2: like playing Gift or a curse. Let's play. You know,
Speaker 2: I was trying to be a professional for a while
Speaker 2: and play every other game twise, but or every other
Speaker 2: week a different game. But who cares?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: New Year knew mey. I need a number between one
Speaker 2: and ten from you.
Speaker 3: Uh two?
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get
Speaker 2: our game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend,
Speaker 2: do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I'll promote. Yeah, I guess I got a
Speaker 3: new special coming outs called dirt Knapp. That was the
Speaker 3: name of my cat, our cat, Missus A Nice Cat,
Speaker 3: comes out in early March, and I'd like to promote
Speaker 3: letting stray cats into your home or other animals. We
Speaker 3: did have raccoons come through the pet door at one point,
Speaker 3: and we got very lucky that they did not ravage
Speaker 3: our household. How many, Well, do I take it back?
Speaker 3: Had we had somebody else's cat come through the pet
Speaker 3: door and we had one. We had raccoons on the
Speaker 3: patio and one came through the pet door and our
Speaker 3: cat just stood like we had like a security camera
Speaker 3: but only pointing at the pet door. That's the only
Speaker 3: thing we were cared about.
Speaker 2: Small criminal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the cat in the background of the raccoon coming,
Speaker 3: any of the cats, like, I don't even know how
Speaker 3: to deal with this.
Speaker 2: One, and the cat left it alone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well that raccoons are monsters.
Speaker 2: They are built.
Speaker 3: Yeah, even the cat was like, I'm not I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I appreciate the hospitality, let me in here, but this
Speaker 3: raccoon's gonna do with this raccoons?
Speaker 2: Was there anything you did to stop the raccoons in
Speaker 2: the future, No, just happen again.
Speaker 3: Kind of like looked at him disapprovingly when we see
Speaker 3: him on the pay You guys know the rules come on.
Speaker 2: That's terrifying to me. Yeah, well, people go watch Kyle's special.
Speaker 2: Of course, that was excellently You know you're promoted perfectly. Okay,
Speaker 2: what an uncomfortable thing to.
Speaker 3: Have to do. It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's never felt good for. Well, I bet
Speaker 2: there are some psychos that it feels good for.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and those that's a strange lot. Yeah, people
Speaker 3: that like themselves, These people that believe in themselves.
Speaker 2: What reality is that? This is how we play gift
Speaker 2: for a curse. I'm going to name three and you're
Speaker 2: gonna tell me if there are a gift or a
Speaker 2: curse and why, Okay, and then I'll tell you if
Speaker 2: you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers.
Speaker 3: Okay, fair enough, Okay.
Speaker 2: This first one is from a listener named Hannah. Hannah
Speaker 2: has suggested gift or a curse a ten percent discount.
Speaker 3: Ooh, I'm going to say I'm gonna say curse because
Speaker 3: ten percent is really not crazy, Like it doesn't make
Speaker 3: you feel like you're saving anything, and it doesn't lure
Speaker 3: me into like wanting to buy something. But then it's
Speaker 3: it's enough to make me like, if it's online, I
Speaker 3: hover over it and then like it might be in
Speaker 3: my cart and then like, oh, you left something in
Speaker 3: your cart. How about fifteen percent off, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: now we're talking, and that's how I wind up buying
Speaker 3: some crap I don't.
Speaker 2: Want absolutely, right, Okay, ten percent? What I mean it
Speaker 2: essentially doesn't exist as a discount. Don't bother. It's insulting. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like the smallest piece of cheese to lure me in.
Speaker 3: Stop blowing me a kiss. I know what we're at it.
Speaker 2: And by the time we get through shipping and taxes,
Speaker 2: it's been absolutely obliterated, and I'm paying full price.
Speaker 3: You've upped at ten percent to cover that for your
Speaker 3: little ten percent. I know your tricks to capitalism awful.
Speaker 2: I feel like fifteen percent even is pushing it. Twenty
Speaker 2: percent we're starting to talk reasonably.
Speaker 3: My problem is like, well, this thing's way over priced,
Speaker 3: but it's twenty five percent off twenty five It makes
Speaker 3: it just the price that you still wouldn't have paid
Speaker 3: if you like it costs as much.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: But I then now I've fallen for the psychology of it. Right,
Speaker 3: I'm upset with myself.
Speaker 2: Twenty five percent will get me fifty percent, of course,
Speaker 2: we love. Yeah, do you get to seventy five percent
Speaker 2: you start worrying about the product.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like they're getting rid of stock. Yeah, somethings.
Speaker 3: Then like, but is it wrong for me? Right?
Speaker 2: And probably not.
Speaker 3: Sometimes a lot of people are wrong about something and
Speaker 3: it'll fit my needs just fine, make it right. Yeah
Speaker 3: for this, for this kind of savings, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: Okay, very well played. Next, this is from a listener
Speaker 2: named William Gift or a curse witnessing a.
Speaker 3: Murder witnessing a murder. Oh, if I'm gonna let's go
Speaker 3: dark with it, let's say Gift, only if it's not
Speaker 3: somebody you care about, and you can I mean milk
Speaker 3: it for like, I mean either like local news broadcasts
Speaker 3: like yeah I saw him, like you can have that notoriety,
Speaker 3: or you can like you can move into the podcast territory.
Speaker 3: Obviously it's very lucrative for a lot of people right now.
Speaker 3: But only if it's not like somebody who cared about, right,
Speaker 3: Like bad people get murdered. That's true, and you could
Speaker 3: be like, well, hey, hey about time.
Speaker 2: I saw must get murdered and we'd like you know.
Speaker 3: This guy, No, you're not. You're not cruising past my
Speaker 3: star anymore, buddy. Yeah, without naming on the dark side.
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna say it could be a blessing in
Speaker 3: a very odd way, like maybe you're a boring person,
Speaker 3: and then like you're the most boring person at the party,
Speaker 3: like this drips here again. Oh you think he's boring?
Speaker 3: Ask him by the time he saw that murder?
Speaker 2: Finally a story and.
Speaker 3: That's the reason you're getting invited to social gatherings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone needs one event.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta have something defining thing, even if you
Speaker 3: didn't create the definition.
Speaker 2: You know, right, but you're wrong? Curse? Oh okay, any
Speaker 2: time I think about witnessing any sort of crime or
Speaker 2: like seeing a car accident or a murder, I might
Speaker 2: immediately goes to paperwork and like, how much of my
Speaker 2: time is now being wasted by bureaucratic paperwork?
Speaker 3: Equally dark. Reason why it's a curse not because it
Speaker 3: could affect you emotionally?
Speaker 2: Can I? Can I appeal? Then? Can I?
Speaker 3: Because it could be a blessing because you could help
Speaker 3: solve the murder.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I'll put on your detective hats and get out.
Speaker 3: I'm going to help with justice.
Speaker 2: Right, magnifying glass, you're dusting for prints?
Speaker 3: Am I still wrong?
Speaker 2: You're still wrong? Okay, you're not going to argue a
Speaker 2: number three. This is from a listener named Liz Gift
Speaker 2: to a curse, venmoing someone money and captioning it, treat
Speaker 2: yourself to something nice today.
Speaker 3: I went dark on that last one, so I'm going
Speaker 3: to try and go blessing on this One's.
Speaker 2: A gift, gift to a curse. You can't it's not
Speaker 2: a blessing.
Speaker 3: Blessing. Yeah, I got confused on the game.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm blessing. Not every blessings a gift?
Speaker 3: All right, man? You know Airport Sky Harbor. That's what
Speaker 3: we're arguing over here. Okay, I think it's well, it's
Speaker 3: literally a gift. Is this a question?
Speaker 2: Look the thing and now you have to deal with it.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well it's literally a gift. So it's a gift.
Speaker 2: Wrong curse? I mean, I mean, first of all, this
Speaker 2: has never happened to me, so I can't really speak
Speaker 2: to it. That's really the problem.
Speaker 3: It's not going to happen now with that attitude.
Speaker 2: It's a curse. I mean, who's doing this?
Speaker 3: Who?
Speaker 2: I've never had a thing that just says treat yourself
Speaker 2: to someone something nice today. There.
Speaker 3: It turns out there's some nice people out there. We
Speaker 3: don't know them.
Speaker 2: Introduce me.
Speaker 3: We're not going to meet them with the with the angle.
Speaker 3: We're taken now, Liz reach out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, apparently Liz is surrounded by people who are just
Speaker 2: filling her bank account.
Speaker 3: Kyle dash Canane on Venmo, it's a picture of me
Speaker 3: in front of Stonehenge. If because I'm supporting your thing,
Speaker 3: people reach out, worry about the special if you wanted
Speaker 3: to just venmo me and say, I wouldn't treat myself.
Speaker 3: I treat myself to some lovely dips and cookies.
Speaker 2: If somebody sent you four hundred dollars, what would you
Speaker 2: buy with it?
Speaker 3: Four hundred dollars interesting, it seems like a good amount
Speaker 3: of mone Oh yeah, I would freak out. I don't
Speaker 3: even know what to do with four hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: It would have ruined my life because I would then
Speaker 2: be like thinking for weeks.
Speaker 3: But okay, would it ruined your life because they said
Speaker 3: treat yourself to something nice if they just sent you
Speaker 3: four to dollars, like, all right, have a phone bill
Speaker 3: a couple of But when it's like no, you get yourself,
Speaker 3: Like when your grandmother gives you like no, no, you
Speaker 3: get something for you, right, you get it for you,
Speaker 3: and you're like, well, I didn't want this kind of pressure.
Speaker 2: I spin out. You spent out in a huge way.
Speaker 2: With gift cards with just money on them, They're I'm
Speaker 2: a mess. Oh they're worth more than cash to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it's a cherish it mm hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then if I have to get all the amount,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, but I'd try to get it as close up.
Speaker 3: But you want to talk about buying stuff you don't need, Like,
Speaker 3: all right, I got eight dollars and fifty three cents.
Speaker 3: You know what, I think these bamboo chopsticks are what
Speaker 3: I would need for the house. I think it's set
Speaker 3: of eight. Eight pairs of bamboo chopsticks are exactly what
Speaker 3: I need for that house.
Speaker 2: I've carried around one of those things with forty cents
Speaker 2: on it before. I'm just talking, well, well it'll be
Speaker 2: a little.
Speaker 3: You know, off the p You wouldn't throw forty cents
Speaker 3: on the ground, No, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: It's plastic.
Speaker 3: That's wasteful already, Right, I got to do it the
Speaker 3: right honor foreigner bucks. I think foreigner bucks as I'm
Speaker 3: sitting it right now, I think I get a good
Speaker 3: car wash, like a detailed car wash.
Speaker 2: Does that cost four hundred dollars a detailing?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But then you could tip them, oh what are
Speaker 3: they doing them, and say, hey, treat yourself to something nice.
Speaker 2: Pass it on like the Ring.
Speaker 3: Well that's the bad version.
Speaker 2: I think it's called pay it forward, like that movie Forward,
Speaker 2: a nice version of The Ring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't that. The the kid from.
Speaker 2: It wasn't been a guest on this podcast before. Really, Yes,
Speaker 2: Hayley reach out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pay it forward, buddy. Like there's like a SMR
Speaker 3: videos of people detailing cars where they get into like
Speaker 3: all the nooks and crannies with like little scrub rushing.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think I could get it.
Speaker 3: And they use the air the air canister that you
Speaker 3: use for your keyboard to like get all the little bits.
Speaker 3: So he basically like when you've gotten in a new car,
Speaker 3: that's what your car is like when it's done. Wow, car,
Speaker 3: it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2: Four hundred dollars. Do you know what? I may have
Speaker 2: said this on this podcast before, but the ASMR category
Speaker 2: I want is like when you go to like a
Speaker 2: national park or something where they give you a map
Speaker 2: at the beginning and then they get out a little
Speaker 2: marker or pen and like circle and like really right
Speaker 2: on it. There's something about that noise that like really clicks.
Speaker 3: For the felt the felt of the marker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like but another person giving you instructions while
Speaker 2: doing it, that should be a category. Really, I think
Speaker 2: it's an incredible noise.
Speaker 3: Is it just national parks?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: I think it's like museums. Where else does this sort of.
Speaker 3: Like an educational experience, kind of like something new and majestic.
Speaker 2: Front And I don't even think that. I think I
Speaker 2: just need to be pointed in a direction of something.
Speaker 3: Oh it's not even the mall.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I mean they don't hand those out of
Speaker 2: them all, but they probably should.
Speaker 3: Like kind of like a very low level, uh domination fantasy.
Speaker 3: I think I don't know where I'm going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's deeply sexual, that's what it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want to be whipped, but I love
Speaker 3: somebody telling me where to go. Gets out the highlight, right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: just mild bossyness, that's it. This is all happening in
Speaker 3: a dungeon.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna call you daddy, but somebody going what
Speaker 3: you're gonna want to do is like, oh boy, that.
Speaker 2: Really they've got that ranger suit on.
Speaker 3: From being a little kid. It's not a smr so much,
Speaker 3: but the smell of like air conditioned hotel air all
Speaker 3: like false air. Because I mean, being from the Midwest,
Speaker 3: if I go on vacation to Florida and you knew
Speaker 3: you were on vacation, heaven, yeah, because it went from
Speaker 3: so hot into illogically freezing, yes, and that I was like,
Speaker 3: this is the best it's ever going to get, and
Speaker 3: you like that.
Speaker 2: I think that does does get built into your brain
Speaker 2: as a sense memory of like this is now a
Speaker 2: good I know this is a good thing.
Speaker 3: Smell is the most yeaes. Smell is the strongest sense
Speaker 3: memory it is.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately for I wonder what second maybe sound? I mean
Speaker 2: I feel like visual doesn't really count.
Speaker 3: The visual is like everything all the time. Right, Maybe
Speaker 3: I think taste.
Speaker 2: Can probably taste interesting.
Speaker 3: We're coming back to that dip dip.
Speaker 2: We're getting back to Okay.
Speaker 3: I know in this day and age, I can't defend
Speaker 3: French dressing and cottage cheese.
Speaker 2: But if I ate it right now, someone make you
Speaker 2: eat a full cart.
Speaker 3: There's a six year old who doesn't know he's poor.
Speaker 2: That's what's going on. Oh maybe I'll give that a shot.
Speaker 2: At some times you don't have to. Really, I know
Speaker 2: you're not gonna like it. I just know I need.
Speaker 2: I need cottage cheese, plain. That's all. Maybe with a
Speaker 2: few And.
Speaker 3: That's the that's the most unappealing thing. That's like just
Speaker 3: just mortar with no bricks.
Speaker 2: What are we doing with this?
Speaker 3: This is this is an adhesive. Put some pineapple chunks
Speaker 3: in there. For Christ's sake.
Speaker 2: Every one of your ideas is from a cookbook from
Speaker 2: nineteen seventy. Okay, old mansion, what can I say? Okay, well,
Speaker 2: poorly played one out of three?
Speaker 3: All right, you know I agree to disagree.
Speaker 2: But you know everybody, you know, everybody struggles sometimes.
Speaker 3: Okay, well let's I mean, you know, look, I think
Speaker 3: I failed spectacularly.
Speaker 2: You did fail spectacular Okay.
Speaker 3: I think I stood up from my side.
Speaker 2: You had like a skyrider writing an F in the
Speaker 2: air for you, and I think that's nice.
Speaker 3: I hire a skyrider to break up with somebody to
Speaker 3: give to give bad news.
Speaker 2: That's not a bad idea.
Speaker 3: Hold on, wait for it, it's over. Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 3: he's finished in the art right now.
Speaker 2: Okay, we've got to answer a listener question. Okay, this
Speaker 2: is the final segment of the podcast. I said no emails.
Speaker 2: People write in to I said, no gifts at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com. They're, you know, kind of hanging by a thread.
Speaker 2: They're desperate and I help them. Will you help me
Speaker 2: with them?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Uh. This says I.
Speaker 3: Don't fail again.
Speaker 2: You're gonna do. You're gonna do beautifully with this. I
Speaker 2: can tell already. Hello Bridger and Darling guest. I have
Speaker 2: a holiday related question, which I realize is probably moot,
Speaker 2: as Christmas itself is in eleven days. But here I
Speaker 2: am asking, well, Christmas is always around the corner, so
Speaker 2: this might help. It hangs over our heads always, Christmas
Speaker 2: is in our hearts.
Speaker 3: It's a burden.
Speaker 2: Every year, my large extended family has a white elephant exchange.
Speaker 2: In case you're unfamiliar, this is when each participant brings
Speaker 2: you an anonymous gift, and throughout the game, gifts can
Speaker 2: be stolen or traded or what have you. My family
Speaker 2: always has a kitchen or housewares theme and the limit
Speaker 2: is seventy five dollars. I find this game, extremely pointless
Speaker 2: and expensive. Last year, I got a very heavy mortar
Speaker 2: and pestle speaking of dips guacamole in one of those
Speaker 2: set from restoration hardware, with the fifty dollars price tags
Speaker 2: still intact. Tacky. I obviously plan to return it, but
Speaker 2: soon after the holidays last year, my local restoration hardware
Speaker 2: closed and it's been sitting in my basement ever since.
Speaker 2: My question is, can I bring the same completely pointless
Speaker 2: gift to this year's White Elephant Exchange. You have no
Speaker 2: idea who brought it last year, but they'll no doubt
Speaker 2: be in attendance. Well, they're divorces. This sort of thing
Speaker 2: could happen for next Christmas. We have a pretty big group.
Speaker 2: Will it be super obvious that I'm regifting the same
Speaker 2: present I received just one year before? I think I'm
Speaker 2: going to do it, and I'll report back. Yours, Shelby,
Speaker 2: Yours truly, Shelby. Okay, well, it sounds like Shelby already
Speaker 2: made up their minds. Yeah, which is a little unfair
Speaker 2: to make me read all of this.
Speaker 3: Some people want to be reinforced with the decision, the behavior.
Speaker 2: What do you think of this?
Speaker 3: I mean, well, you called out the tacking. Now seventy
Speaker 3: five dollars limit.
Speaker 2: For a white elephant. That's crazy to make.
Speaker 3: That's because it's like you're stealing like it should be
Speaker 3: like twenty bucks.
Speaker 2: You're kind of supposed to be bringing stupid garbage, aren't you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: not nice things from restoration hardware. That stresses me out.
Speaker 3: But it seems like somebody's in an income bracket that
Speaker 3: I don't too often, but I would say, just in
Speaker 3: an act of petty revenge as you rege if the
Speaker 3: mortar and pestle with twenty five dollars inside of it,
Speaker 3: because then whoever opens it, whoever gave it the last time,
Speaker 3: will know but won't admit. But you can then read
Speaker 3: the faces of the people and you get to look
Speaker 3: like a like a big old bitch while you do it.
Speaker 3: That's that's that'd be pretty fun.
Speaker 2: They're reminded of how cheap they were last year, looking
Speaker 2: around at everybody, and then that twenty five dollars can
Speaker 2: go towards whatever dip you're.
Speaker 3: Making in Oh, I mean, the finest squacamole that mortar
Speaker 3: and pestle not to divert It seems like a rough texture.
Speaker 3: It seems like tough to clean it?
Speaker 2: Does it seems impossible to clean?
Speaker 3: What a new? Yeah? Of course I'm going like ancient,
Speaker 3: like the ones that like as.
Speaker 2: Texts, right, I'm thinking of like that dark the gray, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like volcanic rock. I'm sure this is like a marble,
Speaker 3: something smooth, something wipeable.
Speaker 2: Are they smooth? Can you get a smooth uh?
Speaker 3: One of these? I would think you'd have to, otherwise
Speaker 3: you're mashing stuff into the crevices.
Speaker 2: But they're crevices well the type of rock. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: I feel like I need some roughness in order to
Speaker 2: catch the ingredients or the medicine.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, good point, But I I.
Speaker 2: Mean I never owned one myself, so I couldn't speak
Speaker 2: to it.
Speaker 3: You ever see them, like, I'll see them in somebody's
Speaker 3: house and be cool, Wow, they've really But you somebody
Speaker 3: had fifty dollars to spend, you know what after I
Speaker 3: get my car detailed, if there's fifty bucks left over? Mortal,
Speaker 3: Mortal and pedestal, that's I don't even know how to
Speaker 3: ask for them.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I can't even say them separately.
Speaker 2: I can't just know you'd get a mortar.
Speaker 3: I need, I need Mortal Pedestals? Do you get Mortimer
Speaker 3: Mortimer Mortial flower petals?
Speaker 2: Mortal Kombat? Do you guys have that Mortal Kombat bolt?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like you're you're show boating if you
Speaker 2: buy one of these things, yeah, because everybody else just
Speaker 2: has like a potato masher in a plastic bowl. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: do enough get a fork? Who cares?
Speaker 3: I look at it because I feel like it'd be
Speaker 3: satisfying to make something in there.
Speaker 2: It would be I mean, it would feel incredible that
Speaker 2: just pushing and yet and.
Speaker 3: You see like the videos when like when somebody's like
Speaker 3: and then we're gonna take the oh peppercorns and grind
Speaker 3: them ourselves. Like I would love to have the free
Speaker 3: time to grind my own pepper that way. But you do,
Speaker 3: and you you also have a great setup for your
Speaker 3: YouTube videos.
Speaker 2: I have time to watch the video that's a SMR.
Speaker 2: There must be a mortar and pestol a.
Speaker 3: Oh the cooking people, they're always like slapping the meat
Speaker 3: in front of the camera. Yeah, they're always like throwing
Speaker 3: it on the grill. But I think this it's a
Speaker 3: pretty I would have been psyched to get it as
Speaker 3: a gift. Oh yeah, because I wouldn't have gotten it
Speaker 3: for myself, right, But this person has not seen the
Speaker 3: Maybe this will show them the way that it's an
Speaker 3: exciting gift and.
Speaker 2: Maybe they need to speak up and say this, by
Speaker 2: the way, is not a white elephant party. We're just
Speaker 2: doing an expensive gift exchange.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a Yeah. These are like well to do individuals.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, they're just throwing the money around.
Speaker 3: Well maybe that was like the best okay, backtrack. What
Speaker 3: if somebody's like, seventy five bucks is too much, I'll
Speaker 3: go fifty And these these look like the kind of
Speaker 3: people that would appreciate them.
Speaker 2: Mortrom, you know with the pedestal, Yeah, it is a
Speaker 2: postal pestal?
Speaker 3: Do we do we know what it's called anymore? Without looking?
Speaker 2: Do you know what it's actually? Just looks Okay, I
Speaker 2: had to actually look at the word. The word actually
Speaker 2: looks like pest pestel. It looks like because it looks
Speaker 2: like a nestle with a P.
Speaker 3: Do they know what it is?
Speaker 2: I don't think anyone has ever known.
Speaker 3: They're getting rid of it. They don't even want it.
Speaker 2: Simply, no one can picture this idol or it's unpronounceable.
Speaker 3: The old timey bowl and stabby, you know, the club
Speaker 3: you club the grains into the bowl.
Speaker 2: I'm not questioning whether that's even the correct spelling, because
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: I mean, like, I mean, there's no way to check
Speaker 3: into it.
Speaker 2: I was p E S t A L. But that's
Speaker 2: obviously that can't be. It's b E S T L E.
Speaker 2: And it's mortar, right, and mortar which mortar makes no
Speaker 2: sense because I feel like mortar isn't mortar? Also like
Speaker 2: a thing in war that's weaponry, Yeah, like a very
Speaker 2: horrible wartime.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a shoot also. Now I'm going to a place. Now,
Speaker 3: imagine you break one of these items. You can't just
Speaker 3: go get the other individually.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Now it's worthless and.
Speaker 3: You're just on eBay hoping somebody broke the item that
Speaker 3: you're looking for the other one that you're not looking for,
Speaker 3: you can just trade it off.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If you break the pestle, the mortar becomes a bowl. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if you break the poor mortar, the pestle becomes a weapon.
Speaker 3: That's true. Yeah, it's just one little rock club and
Speaker 3: a nice ash tray.
Speaker 2: That's a lot of ash. You can make a real
Speaker 2: smoking problem if you have cigars, you know, flowing with
Speaker 2: ash I got empty. Then it's been there for forty years.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make some with it. Clean my jewelr I
Speaker 3: clean my silver in that.
Speaker 2: Now, Well we answered Shelby's question more than perfectly, did we?
Speaker 2: I feel like at some point we were talking about
Speaker 2: her question.
Speaker 3: Well, I thought you could be like snobby and send
Speaker 3: it back with a twenty five bucks. But now if
Speaker 3: it's somebody attending that doesn't even have send me five bucks.
Speaker 3: But they thought I got a nice gift for fifty bucks.
Speaker 3: And Shelby's poo pooing it. Their name is Shelby. That
Speaker 3: sounds like somebody who thinks they're too good for this item.
Speaker 2: Shelby's going to be ejected from this family one way
Speaker 2: or the other.
Speaker 3: Or stuck making table side guac for the holidays. And
Speaker 3: now we're back to the Dips.
Speaker 1: This is really all.
Speaker 3: It comes back a real boa on this thing.
Speaker 2: The Dips. This is all started by Jen Chuck. Jen
Speaker 2: Chuck's birthday this weekend and there yeah Dip obsessed and
Speaker 2: now they've got a DIP episode to talk about. Happy birthday, Jen.
Speaker 2: My god, Kyle, I've got I'm now the owner of
Speaker 2: two stars. I'm to become a little bit of a
Speaker 2: real estate buff who knows what's next for me. No
Speaker 2: one can say three stars. Three stars sounds like we're reviewing.
Speaker 3: Good for intergalactic real estate, not good for a Yelp review.
Speaker 2: It's a warning sign. Yeah, truly. If it's below five
Speaker 2: stars at this point, it's like or something. I've had
Speaker 2: such a nice time with you here today.
Speaker 3: I've had a blast.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, thank you for having me listener,
Speaker 2: thank you for being wherever you are. The podcast is over,
Speaker 2: Get out of here. I love you, goodbye. I said,
Speaker 2: No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by
Speaker 2: our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by
Speaker 2: Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker,
Speaker 2: Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come
Speaker 2: from miracle worker Amy Man. You must follow the show
Speaker 2: on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, I don't want
Speaker 2: to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see
Speaker 2: pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't
Speaker 2: you want to see pictures of the gifts?
Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: When you're a guess to my home, you gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty, And I said, no guests. Your presences
Speaker 1: presents enough that I already had too much stuff. So
Speaker 1: how did you dare to surbey me?