Speaker 1: So Hi, everybody, Welcome to Katie's crib. We are talking
Speaker 1: to Stay to Dr Harvey Carp. He is a pediatrician
Speaker 1: and child development expert who's practiced pediatrics in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: for over twenty five years. He is the founder and
Speaker 1: CEO of Happiest Baby, a smart tech and parenting solutions company,
Speaker 1: and Dr carp is the author of three books, Happiest
Speaker 1: Baby on the Block, Happiest Toddler on the Block, The
Speaker 1: Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep, which is for the
Speaker 1: first five years of life. It's such a weird title,
Speaker 1: Happiest Baby Guy, but it's really for the first five years.
Speaker 1: So sleep from from five yeah, yeah, wow, okay, um, Amazon,
Speaker 1: get ready for that purchase today. But just to start
Speaker 1: us off, and just so I understand, yes, I know
Speaker 1: it's a loss. Landel is filmed in that next room.
Speaker 1: Is that right? Is this this? This is the main studio.
Speaker 1: This is also a studio a lot. Now, this is
Speaker 1: one in my house and this is one of the
Speaker 1: room I usually at about five pm in this playroom,
Speaker 1: Albie plays and I drink wine and then I invite
Speaker 1: over other mommies that have babies or kids of any age.
Speaker 1: And they literally tear the room apart while we doing wine.
Speaker 1: Mother's juice, Yeah, mother's juice exactly. Can you tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit about yourself and what you do. So
Speaker 1: I'm a pediatrician, and that's what I do. I mean,
Speaker 1: for decades, I was the neighborhood doctor. And what happened
Speaker 1: was I kind of observed some things that hadn't really
Speaker 1: been written about before. I'm always interested in problems that
Speaker 1: haven't been solved, and so I was interested. Babies cry,
Speaker 1: and you would be told, oh, babies just cry, there's
Speaker 1: nothing you can do about it, or sleep babies they
Speaker 1: don't sleep well in the beginning, and just suck it
Speaker 1: up and deal with it and sooner or later we'll
Speaker 1: get better or let them cry it out. And that
Speaker 1: stuff never made sense to me. So um so long
Speaker 1: long time ago. I came to realize that people in
Speaker 1: other culture is much more successful at calming their babies.
Speaker 1: You go to some some you know areas in the
Speaker 1: world you never hear a crying baby, and and they're
Speaker 1: they're not like genetically different babies. I mean, it's the
Speaker 1: parents doing different things. So that got me interested, and
Speaker 1: I started to study that and then I did it
Speaker 1: on thousands of babies to really perfect my techniques, and
Speaker 1: that's when I wrote the Happiest Baby on the Block video,
Speaker 1: And those five s is exactly right. The five s
Speaker 1: is are literally like the most famous thing of all time,
Speaker 1: like everyone knows, like in my group of friends, it's
Speaker 1: a lifesaver. Can you explain to people what the five
Speaker 1: uses are for the fifty billion? Well? No, I mean
Speaker 1: I love it because it's just so empowering to parents.
Speaker 1: So five us so well. The first key concept is
Speaker 1: babies are not ready to be born after nine months.
Speaker 1: Horses are ready. Cows are ready. They can run. A
Speaker 1: horse doesn't get stuck by its head. It gets stuck
Speaker 1: by the body. And the body is as strong as
Speaker 1: it can be, so it can run that first day
Speaker 1: because otherwise it'll get eaten exactly exactly our babies, and
Speaker 1: we survived because of our noodles. And so the brain
Speaker 1: is as big as it can be and still get
Speaker 1: out and it's a tight fit. I don't need to
Speaker 1: tell you that. So um, and what happens I kind
Speaker 1: of think of it like these James Bond movies. You know,
Speaker 1: James Bond is on the motorcycle and he's rushing out
Speaker 1: this underground parking lot and the metal door is coming down,
Speaker 1: and he's rushing in. The door is coming down. He's
Speaker 1: going to be locked in there. And at the last
Speaker 1: second he puts the motorcycle down. No, he lies it
Speaker 1: on the ground and slides underneath just as this thing
Speaker 1: is closing. That's our baby's heads exactly so. And if
Speaker 1: you miss that opportunity, then that's why we do ces
Speaker 1: arean sections, and we're lucky we can do that because
Speaker 1: like my wife's grandmother died, I mean, that wasn't that uncommon.
Speaker 1: So because the head is so big and we get
Speaker 1: out earlier than say other mammals do. We have this
Speaker 1: thing called fourth trymester exactly right now where the baby
Speaker 1: really should still sort of be mimicking the world in
Speaker 1: which it was in the womb, because it feels unsafe.
Speaker 1: It's such a huge transition, and this is why it's
Speaker 1: so tough for new parents because the next four months
Speaker 1: or five months, you are one big walking uterus. I
Speaker 1: mean inside you're holding your baby NonStop. You're rocking every
Speaker 1: time you breathe, and every time you walk, your baby
Speaker 1: is being rocked and jiggled the sound is. Actually it is,
Speaker 1: except babies are underwater, so when you're underwater, you can't
Speaker 1: hear the high pitch. So it isn't that that they
Speaker 1: hear what they hear and your voice and other things
Speaker 1: like that, but it's because they're underwater. Wow, So then
Speaker 1: it's so shocking for them to be out. I mean
Speaker 1: June Refuel, who is a wonderful actress and a dear
Speaker 1: front of mine, she was on Katie's Crib the first
Speaker 1: season and she said the first three months she calls
Speaker 1: the dark days of your But basically why is because
Speaker 1: it's it is you are essentially still providing a wound
Speaker 1: for your kid, but it's just now so full on
Speaker 1: because you have to consciously carry them around, consciously make
Speaker 1: those sounds, consciously make them feel safe close to you,
Speaker 1: which is hard. But you're doing it fourteen hours a
Speaker 1: day and you used to do the twenty four hours
Speaker 1: a day. From the baby's point view, it's a rip off, right,
Speaker 1: It's like whoa Bayton switch? And from our point of view,
Speaker 1: it's like, are you kidding me? This is NonStop? But
Speaker 1: this is the big lie because today if you have
Speaker 1: a nanny or a night nursey. You know, you're pretty
Speaker 1: well off if you have two nanny's. I mean you're
Speaker 1: like really well off. Who the hell has that? But
Speaker 1: like what no? Okay, so I mean you don't have that. However,
Speaker 1: up until a hundred years ago, everyone has five nanni's. Right,
Speaker 1: your grandma, you're yeah, your extra neighbor's older daughter. Can
Speaker 1: you held the baby for you? Okay? So, I mean
Speaker 1: the mother was babied as much as the baby was babied.
Speaker 1: In fact, in many cultures they have a hundred years,
Speaker 1: a hundred days ceremony where for the first hundred days
Speaker 1: you don't leave the house. You are taking care of.
Speaker 1: You were bathed, you were fed, you were pampered first
Speaker 1: forty days. But I didn't know the first hundred days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so many many Asian countries, guys, you hear it here
Speaker 1: on Katie's Crib. First, can we start a sucking movement
Speaker 1: called the first hundred days where the mom and the
Speaker 1: baby are just totally taken care of for a hundred days, Like,
Speaker 1: why can't that be happening? And you know, we just
Speaker 1: came back from Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, all you Katie's Crib
Speaker 1: listeners and viewers, but there was a six week old
Speaker 1: baby there, and I think she had a wonderful weekend
Speaker 1: because every time the baby was like fussy or communicating,
Speaker 1: the baby got passed around to grandma too great grandma,
Speaker 1: to aunts, to uncles, two cousins, and so the baby
Speaker 1: was always like I was getting new someone who had
Speaker 1: energy when the mom is so tired, like I can't
Speaker 1: be holding the baby and I know the baby wants
Speaker 1: to be held right now. No mother in history ever
Speaker 1: did that. And women, this is one of the things
Speaker 1: that so upsetting to me because women are told, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: you decide to have a baby, so this is your responsibility.
Speaker 1: Now it's your problem, and don't complain about it because
Speaker 1: you wanted to be a mom. Well I did want
Speaker 1: to be a mom, but I do have to sleep also,
Speaker 1: and everyone's different. Some people do fine without sleep, other
Speaker 1: people it's total torture. Well, I understood for the first
Speaker 1: time ever why sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
Speaker 1: More times, I was like, if I got behind the
Speaker 1: wheel of a car right now, I might drive off
Speaker 1: a cliff that I can't do only four hours of sleep.
Speaker 1: I can for a week, but I can't do it
Speaker 1: four weeks well, and even the four hours, it's broken
Speaker 1: up in little pieces. It's not even continual sleep to
Speaker 1: get as a new mom, and that makes it even Tougher.
Speaker 1: Studies definitely show that if you get six hours or less,
Speaker 1: you're essentially equivalent to a drunk person. You get into
Speaker 1: car accidents the way drunk people can take constance. You
Speaker 1: do you're kind of disoriented, and some people, again are
Speaker 1: much more sensitive to that. It's not even six hours,
Speaker 1: it's broken up little pieces of six hours. So the
Speaker 1: fourth fourth just wanting to follow up this one point
Speaker 1: about being drunk. Yeah, besides momagers, um we um. It's
Speaker 1: a really serious issue because so many mothers accidentally or
Speaker 1: intentionally fall asleep with the baby and and you'll read, oh, well,
Speaker 1: in other cultures they do that and it encourages breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: and and there's some truth to that. However, you would
Speaker 1: never bring your baby in bed with you if you
Speaker 1: were drunk, Well, why would you do it? If you're
Speaker 1: so exhausted, you're the equivalent of drunk. And video studies
Speaker 1: have been done that show that mothers, you know you're
Speaker 1: not you just you think you have one eye open
Speaker 1: all night long. But you own you're so tired that
Speaker 1: you fall into a deep sleep and you can pull
Speaker 1: the blankets. Over seventy almost four thousand babies die each
Speaker 1: year in the United States in the first year of
Speaker 1: life in their sleep. Of those babies die in bed
Speaker 1: with their parents or in another unsafe place, like on
Speaker 1: the sofa with their parents. Things like that. Terrible say
Speaker 1: I did. It happened to us once when Albi was
Speaker 1: really little, like maybe six weeks. I was so tired.
Speaker 1: Adam went out for one thing for the night for
Speaker 1: a couple of hours, and I was I never took
Speaker 1: him in bed with me. I always breastfed him in
Speaker 1: a chair in his room, but I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to try it, and I breastfed laying down in
Speaker 1: my bed. And the next thing I knew, Adam came
Speaker 1: in and he was like Katie, Katie, And I was
Speaker 1: like what, And he said, Albie's head looked really weird.
Speaker 1: He had gotten himself now a blanket wasn't over and
Speaker 1: he had gotten himself in a position. And I fell
Speaker 1: asleep and I didn't even realize, No, no, you don't
Speaker 1: And I don't know for how long, and I don't
Speaker 1: know me you know, Harry, there's something called micro asleep.
Speaker 1: This is a little a little science here. So we
Speaker 1: go to sleep, we think, okay, and now I'm going
Speaker 1: to go to bed. I put my head on the
Speaker 1: pillow and then I fall asleep. And you think that
Speaker 1: you're kind of aware when you're allowing yourself to fall asleep.
Speaker 1: But actually there's something called microsleep, which is when part
Speaker 1: of the brain goes to sleep before all of the
Speaker 1: brain goes to sleep. And this is what happens when
Speaker 1: you're driving and you know you're tired, and your eyes
Speaker 1: are rolling around a little bit, but you're still awake,
Speaker 1: and then suddenly you fell asleep. When you have microsleep,
Speaker 1: the brain is so close that boom, just in a second,
Speaker 1: the lights can go off, I mean in your head
Speaker 1: and you can fall asleep. And that's what happens with
Speaker 1: the baby because it's cozy and swede and I freaking tire. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So just the five s is that are a savior
Speaker 1: for women, especially in this first three months where a
Speaker 1: baby can be really, really fussy, because like you said,
Speaker 1: they're not really ready to be outside of their mom yet.
Speaker 1: They have to scientifically and physically. But the five S
Speaker 1: stand for it. Right, So the five s is are
Speaker 1: five ways to imitate the womb. And interestingly, they don't
Speaker 1: just make the baby nostalgic. Oh cool, this is where
Speaker 1: I used to live. It's not like that. It's you're
Speaker 1: actually turning on a reflex, a response that's built into
Speaker 1: the baby. So babies are are okay learners, but they're
Speaker 1: not great yet, right, It's gonna take a few years
Speaker 1: to get great. But they do learn things in the womb.
Speaker 1: They're learning to recognize flavors, recognize your voice, recognize the
Speaker 1: sounds around them. Um. But mostly babies are built on reflexes,
Speaker 1: which is built in software. So in other words, when
Speaker 1: you buy a computer already has stuff there that allows
Speaker 1: you to start using it right away, babies have stuff
Speaker 1: in there that's pre programmed. So sucking, you don't teach
Speaker 1: your baby how to suck, how to cry, how to swallow,
Speaker 1: how to blink. That stuff has to be there for survival.
Speaker 1: Even even you know, there are ancient reflexes that are there.
Speaker 1: Like you put something in the baby's hand, they grab
Speaker 1: on you. You put something in the baby's foot, it
Speaker 1: grabs on you. Is that you know? That's an interesting one.
Speaker 1: So um. It turns out that what's the new information
Speaker 1: and Happiest Baby is this idea that babies actually have
Speaker 1: a reflex we never knew about before, which is like
Speaker 1: an off switch for crying in an on switch for sleep.
Speaker 1: It's not really a switch, but it kind of gets
Speaker 1: them there if they're if they're ready to like, if
Speaker 1: the baby is super hungry, you can do the five
Speaker 1: s is. It's never gonna it's never gonna work because
Speaker 1: they need something else. But if they're you know, kind
Speaker 1: of not hungry and they're not in discomfort, it'll ease
Speaker 1: them into into sleep and sometimes it will calm crying
Speaker 1: in seconds. Oh I've seen you on the video but
Speaker 1: there there you go. It's like you guys the great
Speaker 1: How long is that dvd? And half hour? There's a
Speaker 1: half hour dvd Happiest Baby on the DVD and they
Speaker 1: they hand you screaming babies and it's Adam, and Adam
Speaker 1: would always do an imitation of it where like you know,
Speaker 1: they just go like livet in their arms. It's absolutely incredible. Well,
Speaker 1: and my my publisher hates me to say this, but
Speaker 1: I really really recommend. I mean, the book is a
Speaker 1: really interesting books read the book, but the only baby
Speaker 1: book I read, actually I did. I tried pregnant to
Speaker 1: make it through a lot of books. I really tried,
Speaker 1: but I was really tired and I would get through stuff.
Speaker 1: But yours, I actually read the whole thing because it's
Speaker 1: it's it's my type of book. It's broken up in chapters,
Speaker 1: so it's very goal oriented for me. Yeah, like it's
Speaker 1: very and it's not like huge or you know, it
Speaker 1: was just but anyway, the way you learn the techniques,
Speaker 1: it's really by watching, and so I encourage people to
Speaker 1: watch the video, kind of like learning how to tie
Speaker 1: your shoelaces. You can learn it from a book, but
Speaker 1: but it's better to see it. Yeah, and especially for guys,
Speaker 1: because men actually are great at it. They're the best
Speaker 1: in the family. Men are terrible at breastfeeding, but men
Speaker 1: are really really good at baby coming. Um. They swaddle, snugger,
Speaker 1: they jiggle more jiggling. It was horrible, it's horrible. Well anyway,
Speaker 1: so the five is stand for our five ways of
Speaker 1: imitating the womb. Swaddling is the first is the cornerstone
Speaker 1: arms down actually's best um and there's people get confused
Speaker 1: about that, but it's really, that's the way it works,
Speaker 1: even though it looks weird and like you would hate it.
Speaker 1: But babies don't get the vote. And this is an
Speaker 1: important thing everyone. Some people go, my baby doesn't like it,
Speaker 1: because kids, when they're upset, they'll struggle and fight you,
Speaker 1: and you'll think that the baby doesn't like it. They
Speaker 1: need it. They need it. They don't know it's best
Speaker 1: for the swaddled for months and then when he got
Speaker 1: out of we slowly decided at like around three or
Speaker 1: four months two. Then he spent time unswaddled just one arm,
Speaker 1: and then like weeks later he got the other arm
Speaker 1: and we only swaddled the legs, and then weeks later
Speaker 1: he got the legs out because he slowly introduced him
Speaker 1: to freedom. Right, No, that's right for whatever they can handle. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know so, um so that's swaddling and swaddling offen
Speaker 1: Tis most of the time doesn't turn on the calming reflex.
Speaker 1: In fact, sometimes they cry more, and that's what makes
Speaker 1: you think that they don't like it. But they have
Speaker 1: to be swaddled. It makes everything else work better, and
Speaker 1: then it also allows them to be calm or longer
Speaker 1: because they're not upsetting themselves with because if they're not
Speaker 1: swallowed in the middle of the night and they go
Speaker 1: like that, they wake themselves up. We're crying, We're here
Speaker 1: all over again. But if they have that thing but
Speaker 1: they feel like they're in the womb and it's still constricted,
Speaker 1: that's right. They're not wagging themselves in the face now.
Speaker 1: So that's the first step, and then you layer on
Speaker 1: the other four things. So then it's the side or
Speaker 1: stomach position. The back is the worst position for calming
Speaker 1: a baby. It's the best position for sleep, the only
Speaker 1: safe position for sleep, So side stomach is never for sleeping,
Speaker 1: only the back for sleeping. But the back is the
Speaker 1: worst because they kind of feel like they're falling. The
Speaker 1: third is um is sure in your arm, you put
Speaker 1: them on their side, or you put them on their stomach,
Speaker 1: exactly right, so they call that the football hold or
Speaker 1: up over your shoulder where they're leaning forward. Um. The
Speaker 1: third S is sure or white noise, but it has
Speaker 1: to be we'll talk about this maybe in a minute.
Speaker 1: There's different types of white noise. Some work better for crying,
Speaker 1: some work better for sleep. The third S is swinging
Speaker 1: or rhythmic motion. UH. And the and The fifth test
Speaker 1: is sucking, and every baby is different. They all need swaddling.
Speaker 1: But some babies you swallow them and do the sound
Speaker 1: and their golden. Other babies should swallow and do the sound.
Speaker 1: It does nothing until you have the motion. Other babies
Speaker 1: need this sucking. Some babies need all five at the
Speaker 1: same time to turn on the reflex and even vigorously
Speaker 1: like and once you get them calm and again, if
Speaker 1: you do it right, oftentimes it happens in seconds. Then
Speaker 1: you kind of slow it down and kind of gradually
Speaker 1: get them to kind of downshift into into sleep. Um.
Speaker 1: We have to talk about this new which we used
Speaker 1: like crazy um and was like having what you would
Speaker 1: say a night nurse or a nanny or any of
Speaker 1: your cousins. That's kind of doing it itself right. So
Speaker 1: here's the thing. You should have your older sister with
Speaker 1: you and she would come in and say, you know, Katie,
Speaker 1: you guys sleep. I'm gonna hold rock and shush the
Speaker 1: baby all night long. The baby gets upsettled, jiggle and
Speaker 1: shish a little more. And if I can't come the
Speaker 1: baby down, I'm getting you to feed the baby. And
Speaker 1: what happens is that when babies wake up in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. Number one, if you just put
Speaker 1: the baby in a regular bassonet, they're lying there. It's
Speaker 1: so different than the world inside. So that's why they
Speaker 1: don't sleep well. You could sleep on the on the
Speaker 1: cement floor if you had to. You're not gonna sleep well,
Speaker 1: but you will sleep because you're gonna be so tired.
Speaker 1: Babies will sleep on their backs in a quiet, still bead,
Speaker 1: they're just going to wake up more so if you
Speaker 1: swaddle them safely and you use the type of white
Speaker 1: noise and you use the right type of motion. So
Speaker 1: for babies who are asleep, of course, it's just natural, right,
Speaker 1: it's just general rock feels like they're still in there. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: because even all night long when you're pregnant, every time
Speaker 1: you breathe, your diet fragm is moving and rocking your baby.
Speaker 1: So so they expect that they Why take away everything
Speaker 1: that I love and I need to sleep? I just guys, born,
Speaker 1: why are you taking it always from me? Then? What
Speaker 1: snow does, in addition to rocking and shishing all night
Speaker 1: is that it hears when the baby cries and responds
Speaker 1: with a little bit more jiggle and shish well, you
Speaker 1: know we built it, uh my initials super chice looking
Speaker 1: thanks like just Google snow. We'll put a link to
Speaker 1: it on on we of Katie's crib notes below every podcast.
Speaker 1: But it's beautiful, Like it's so beautiful. We're the most
Speaker 1: awarded baby product in history for innovation, technology, of ge, safety,
Speaker 1: and design. It's in three of the leading art museums
Speaker 1: around the world. We loved it because I was a
Speaker 1: bad swaddler and so this new comes with a really
Speaker 1: beautifully tight zip up a bowl sleep sack sort of
Speaker 1: thing that you put the baby in, and it is
Speaker 1: a swat. It's a swaddle, but I'm not doing it
Speaker 1: with all this material that he's getting out of it.
Speaker 1: It's terrible. Um. And then it has was it four
Speaker 1: different levels, so it's four different levels of sound in
Speaker 1: motion and then the baseline which is where they sleep.
Speaker 1: But it has an app because some kids need a
Speaker 1: little yea. The app also every day you can you
Speaker 1: get a download graphic of how your baby slapped and
Speaker 1: how how it's changing over the last week. It's the
Speaker 1: biggest deal. Lever like Beyonce uses it. We have a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of I'm saying I heard that
Speaker 1: Beyonce used it. It's beautiful, it's amazing, and it's really
Speaker 1: as far as yes, it is a pricey crib, but
Speaker 1: you're not paying for a night nurse which is like
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars a week, and you can't pay for sleep,
Speaker 1: which is literally the only most thing you need that
Speaker 1: you would so here for Here's there are two There
Speaker 1: are two questions that people have about snow when they
Speaker 1: hear about it. Uh, two big ones. One is, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, my baby is going to get used to it,
Speaker 1: and then my baby's never going to get my baby
Speaker 1: off of it. And it turns out it's a piece
Speaker 1: of cake if you wait for five six months, because
Speaker 1: then your baby is mature enough to move out. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of like eating food. You give your baby
Speaker 1: milk for every meal for the first six months. You
Speaker 1: don't worry. They're never going to eat food, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know they will when the time is right. And
Speaker 1: the same thing happens with sleep once they get into
Speaker 1: a really great sleep pattern. So snoop by the motion
Speaker 1: and sound, trains babies to be better sleepers. It immediately
Speaker 1: adds an extra hour to two to a baby's sleep
Speaker 1: and usually by two three months, or sleeping seven eight
Speaker 1: hours straight, I mean dream the same thing happening and
Speaker 1: he's seven to seven now and we trained them out
Speaker 1: of it. No problem, there you come. So that's the
Speaker 1: one thing. The second thing is the price. It turns
Speaker 1: out though that I mean, we have sales all the
Speaker 1: time anyway on the website, but it's which is pricey
Speaker 1: for a baby bed, but this is a gorgeous bed,
Speaker 1: the most sophisticated, white noise machine, the safest swing. The
Speaker 1: baby is swaddled and attached to the bed so they
Speaker 1: can't roll to an unsafe position. So it's the safest
Speaker 1: bet ever made. It's extra sleep for you and the baby,
Speaker 1: and it's twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,
Speaker 1: an extra pair of hands. You're going to use it
Speaker 1: for months. If you have another baby, you'll use it again.
Speaker 1: I want to get to some questions because our listeners
Speaker 1: are like, women are just struggling. This is really hard
Speaker 1: and it's wonderful that you are providing help. From Chelsea
Speaker 1: Gambino on Instagram, what is a realistic expectation for a
Speaker 1: baby to sleep through the night and have you noticed
Speaker 1: the difference between breastbed versus formula fed babies. So it
Speaker 1: depends on how you define sleep through the night um
Speaker 1: in different studies. Some people to find is five hours straight,
Speaker 1: some people to find it is eight hours straight. So
Speaker 1: it kind of depends. What we see with SNOW is
Speaker 1: that babies usually sleep um seven or eight hours straight
Speaker 1: in a segment, usually by two months, and that's really
Speaker 1: advanced compared to a baby who's not in snoop. So,
Speaker 1: but if you're using at least you're swaddling and the
Speaker 1: white type of white noise. Yeah, those two things together
Speaker 1: are big help as well. And um, so you would.
Speaker 1: Of course, some babies are great sleepers, they'll do it
Speaker 1: really right from the first month or so, but for
Speaker 1: the most part, it takes really three or four months
Speaker 1: to get that good solid nighttime sleep. Do you notice
Speaker 1: the difference between breastfed babies and formula fed babies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so breastfed babies usually need to be fed more frequently,
Speaker 1: and so they're waking up, they're waking up more often. Um.
Speaker 1: Breastfeeding mothers, however, interestingly, actually sleep as much or more
Speaker 1: than formula fed. Is that fading mothers? Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: it kind of sounds odd. Isn't it. But but that's
Speaker 1: with this study show Wow, um from Joy, how do
Speaker 1: you get a teething baby to sleep through the night
Speaker 1: without using drugs? This is a really big question. I
Speaker 1: have to because I'm really careful about the amount of
Speaker 1: motor and and tail and all. Like I'm so I
Speaker 1: rarely use it. It makes me I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: I try basically any other thing, and he's getting all
Speaker 1: four molars at the same time. When a baby is
Speaker 1: super screaming and uncomfortable, I give a motor and I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I had a splitting headache and I couldn't sleep,
Speaker 1: I would give myself bill. So fine, Um, but how
Speaker 1: do you do without using drugs? So a couple of things.
Speaker 1: So some baby it's just teeth, that's no big deal
Speaker 1: for them. Other babies really seem to go through, you know,
Speaker 1: angst and and suffering. So one simple thing you can
Speaker 1: do is elevate the head of the bed just a
Speaker 1: little bit, just a couple of inches, because when you're
Speaker 1: lying back, the blood kind of fills the area. Everything
Speaker 1: gets more swollen, you know, your nose gets more stuffy.
Speaker 1: If you elevate your head, it's easier to breathe a
Speaker 1: little bit and the gums are a little bit less
Speaker 1: swollen and throbby. So just elevating the head is one
Speaker 1: good thing. The second thing is you have things on Amazon,
Speaker 1: for example, like that you go put under the mattress.
Speaker 1: You know, I used to use it when you get
Speaker 1: cold too, so that like the boogers and everything would
Speaker 1: sort of like drain the other way. But it's like
Speaker 1: a wedge, right you put or I guess you could
Speaker 1: just put a book right, yeah, I know you can,
Speaker 1: or a little something under the feet of the crib. Yes,
Speaker 1: you'll see. If you have a baby moves around a lot,
Speaker 1: then they may end up outside down in the other direction.
Speaker 1: So I mean it's one thing you can do. The
Speaker 1: second thing is using a strong white noise because when
Speaker 1: the white noise, when you wake up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night, it's totally quiet, and you've got golob
Speaker 1: throb throb. You know, it bothers you more. But if
Speaker 1: you wake up and there's some things going on, you
Speaker 1: don't pay as much attention to what's going on inside
Speaker 1: because the pain is not really that much pain as
Speaker 1: much as it is a nuisance and awareness. So but
Speaker 1: the last thing has is what you said about using.
Speaker 1: So there are homeopathic drops and haven't I haven't been
Speaker 1: impressed by them. Yeah. Um, but motion is a really
Speaker 1: great tool, much more than taile and all because it's
Speaker 1: going to last longer through the night. But here's the
Speaker 1: trick with motran everybody likes to kind of give a
Speaker 1: little less and it says on the label, actually speak
Speaker 1: to your doctor about it because the label underdoses, and
Speaker 1: so you really need to speak to give him the
Speaker 1: right dosage because I'm always like, well, he's lighter weight,
Speaker 1: you know, under the year. It's at one point seven
Speaker 1: five because he's over a year old. But for the
Speaker 1: weight thing, he is on the lowest end of the
Speaker 1: weight for a kid over a year. So I'm always like, well,
Speaker 1: I'll just give him the dosage for like a baby baby. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the weird thing about motrin or Thailand, all they
Speaker 1: underdose just to cover their but you know, just to
Speaker 1: be super maybe maybe, but um, but when you underdose,
Speaker 1: it's like you may as well not do it. So
Speaker 1: there's a threshold you have to get to a certain
Speaker 1: dose level for the effect of it, and usually for
Speaker 1: for little kids, we recommend ten milligrams per kilogram, which
Speaker 1: is like five per pound, five milligrams per pound. But
Speaker 1: speak speak to your doctor. Of course, it's with drugs.
Speaker 1: We always want to be really safe and whatever. But um,
Speaker 1: guess what, alb you're getting one eight seven freaking five
Speaker 1: the next time you're teating in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1: Um from Tammy, a mom who's read your book, followed
Speaker 1: all of your methods. The one dirty little secret for
Speaker 1: almost all of the new parents I know this includes pediatricians,
Speaker 1: is that a lot of breastfeeding moms co sleep. What's
Speaker 1: your stance on co sleeping and hasn't changed at all
Speaker 1: given how other cultures and American culture secretly cold sleep, right,
Speaker 1: So nowadays in our culture, so there's co sleeping and
Speaker 1: there's bed sharing. Co sleeping means the babies in the
Speaker 1: room with you, hopefully right next to your bed. Bed
Speaker 1: sharing obviously is they're in the bed with you. Um.
Speaker 1: Bed sharing has clearly been associated with a higher risk
Speaker 1: of infant sleep death, even in breastfeeding moms who are
Speaker 1: not smoking. And you're not drunk because like I said,
Speaker 1: you're kind of drunk anyway, just from exhaustion. So what
Speaker 1: you want to do is have your baby right next
Speaker 1: to you, because that makes it cozy and nice, and
Speaker 1: you can attend to your baby's needs and breastfeed easily,
Speaker 1: but not in bed with you. So you can have
Speaker 1: a co sleeper, you can have a bassonet next to you,
Speaker 1: or a snoo right next to you. Those are the
Speaker 1: things that you want to do. The um having said that,
Speaker 1: about sixty or seventy of breastfeeding moms will fall asleep
Speaker 1: with their babies in bed with them, and you almost
Speaker 1: you almost can't help it. It happens, but you really
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, UM, and so it's it's
Speaker 1: worth kind of making a pact, like you've made a
Speaker 1: promise to yourself. Not that it never happens, of course,
Speaker 1: you're just a human being, but you're really it's such
Speaker 1: a terrible, terrible ruined obviously the terrible death of a child.
Speaker 1: But I've spoken to mom's who lost their first baby,
Speaker 1: and you're like, if your baby is in bed with you,
Speaker 1: your life is ruined. You will never ever escape that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, I can't even um from Priscilla.
Speaker 1: Priscilla's mom has been a very present caregiver for her
Speaker 1: almost three year old and when it's just the mom
Speaker 1: and the toddler together. Her mom mentions he's very affectionate
Speaker 1: and acts normal. However, as soon as the mom shows up,
Speaker 1: like dropping him off at the house, he'll actually hit
Speaker 1: or kick her, not hard but a swat to show
Speaker 1: his displeasure. The mom's theory is that he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to get excuse me. Priscilla's theories that he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to get dropped off. She doesn't know why he why
Speaker 1: he'd do this when it's time to pick him up,
Speaker 1: She has no reason to suspect abuse. When he plays
Speaker 1: with toys, he's always includes a grandma role for a
Speaker 1: toy or stuffed animal along with that for a mom, dad,
Speaker 1: and baby. And he will tell me outside of grandma's
Speaker 1: presence that he loves grandma. So what is and on?
Speaker 1: How do I get him to stop? His teacher says
Speaker 1: he doesn't hit other kids at his tyler program. Um,
Speaker 1: super fantastic question, fantastic fantastic question, and fantastic way of
Speaker 1: think about it, because kind you know how the the
Speaker 1: the the frontier guides would lead you through the forest
Speaker 1: and they'd be looking for a broken twig or a
Speaker 1: footmark and that would they read the signs to figure
Speaker 1: out how to get through the forest to the other side.
Speaker 1: As a parent, you learned to read the signs and um.
Speaker 1: And what was so intelligent and that question is, hey,
Speaker 1: is it possible that my child is being mistreated in
Speaker 1: some way? You hate to think about that, but it
Speaker 1: does happen. I mean we read about in the newspaper
Speaker 1: every day. Um. And so she thought very carefully about
Speaker 1: what other signs would I see if my baby were
Speaker 1: being mistreated? Um? You know, more temper tantrums, more bedwedding,
Speaker 1: more toilet accidents, more nightmares, more acting out behavior in
Speaker 1: school more um um saying of course you you think
Speaker 1: you could ask a three year old, he's pretty talkative,
Speaker 1: did somebody hit you? You know, we kind of do
Speaker 1: that in that earnest question. But they don't really have
Speaker 1: the ability to answer direct quest. I mean, of course
Speaker 1: they can know that they might not. So the way
Speaker 1: you often do, the way you open the door into
Speaker 1: a child's mind oftentimes is through play. And so you
Speaker 1: have the puppets, and you have oh, here's grandma Doggie,
Speaker 1: and he's you know, little boy dogging hi Grandma, Grandma.
Speaker 1: Oh uh, a little boy, doggie, what why do you
Speaker 1: want to ask grandma? You know, say grandma, please don't
Speaker 1: what you know? And then you, I mean, you can
Speaker 1: leave the witness a little bit and he's going to
Speaker 1: play with grandma differently exactly. Have some sort of feelings
Speaker 1: come up about that now if he doesn't, and she's
Speaker 1: sort of done that sort of investigative work. So here's
Speaker 1: is this separation anxiety? Is this? It's probably more like
Speaker 1: there are too many things going on in his life.
Speaker 1: He's tired at that point in time. He's a little hungry.
Speaker 1: It's he's nappy, needs his nap or whatever, and he's
Speaker 1: on the ragged edge. And so we know about the
Speaker 1: terrible twos, but the terrible twos, which are out more
Speaker 1: outburst behaviors, it doesn't mean when you're two years old
Speaker 1: it happens. It means between eighteen months and two years.
Speaker 1: That's when you have that imbalanced period. Usually once you
Speaker 1: get over to it's getting much better. And then there's
Speaker 1: another one that happens between three and three and a half.
Speaker 1: Hello God, But that's where happy is Toddler helps you out, Yes,
Speaker 1: because those two I've read, but I have not yet
Speaker 1: read the Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep. I mean,
Speaker 1: and that's not only about sleeping. I mean because I
Speaker 1: that's really where where I'm heading into with a lot
Speaker 1: of the moms and my mom crew were going through this,
Speaker 1: like when are we dropping one, you know, two naps
Speaker 1: to one nap? And when is that one nap during
Speaker 1: the day? And now we're introducing nursery school, and how
Speaker 1: are we dealing with sleep? Then? Um, wait, we have
Speaker 1: a couple more questions. How do I know when it's
Speaker 1: time to start potty training? Will my toddler give me
Speaker 1: any signs? What are the best methods? So there are
Speaker 1: these kind of events in life, right, and potty training
Speaker 1: is like this. It's like on the barquee and the
Speaker 1: bright lights and stuffing time, um and um. People stress
Speaker 1: out about that. Um. Usually it's actually pretty simple and straightforward.
Speaker 1: But you do have to read the signs. So where
Speaker 1: do the signs your child is ready? Um? Well, there
Speaker 1: are a few. Number one, they don't say no every
Speaker 1: time you ask them to do something. They're not oppositional.
Speaker 1: Number two, they have a word for p and poop.
Speaker 1: Number three, they are willing to sit in one place
Speaker 1: for fifteen seconds, you know, because yeah, exactly, UM and
Speaker 1: UM number four, they like to imitate you. And so
Speaker 1: when you're washed dishes, they want to wash dishes, or
Speaker 1: when you're picking things up, they want to do it.
Speaker 1: So they're in that imitative phase UM. And that usually
Speaker 1: comes around two two and a half, usually sometimes maybe
Speaker 1: three UM, but usually all when all those things are
Speaker 1: coming together, that's when it's opportune to start teaching them
Speaker 1: to have control over their vowels. Because when you think
Speaker 1: about it, here's the challenge with with peeing or pooping
Speaker 1: on the potty. You have to do the up to
Speaker 1: opposite things at the same time. You have to squeeze
Speaker 1: your stomach muscles but relax your anus. So it's challenging, right,
Speaker 1: I mean you'll talk um. So anyway, so the so
Speaker 1: and here's the here's the biggest mistakes people make with
Speaker 1: toilet training. Number one during the rush because they think
Speaker 1: that the earlier they do it, the better, you know,
Speaker 1: boarding school, your child will get into or something. Um.
Speaker 1: The second thing is that they're told they should make
Speaker 1: a big celebration when the baby peas or poops or
Speaker 1: that kind of a thing. And actually, you don't want
Speaker 1: to do that, Yeah, you what you you do. You
Speaker 1: can celebrate the fact that they sit there for fifteen seconds,
Speaker 1: so you can even have a timer, and you read
Speaker 1: a book. You know they're sitting there. You tell the story,
Speaker 1: you read a book, you sing a song, whatever it
Speaker 1: is going to be entertaining for your child. And when
Speaker 1: the dinger goes off, yeah, dingers over, here's a sticker,
Speaker 1: good job. And then you do the happiest toddler technique
Speaker 1: is called gossiping, where you pretend to talk to Grahama
Speaker 1: on the phone. Later on Grandma Bobby said blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and he's listening in Mr Big Ears and feeling like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did such a good job. So you can say
Speaker 1: it directly, but then when you say it again, it
Speaker 1: like makes it five times more trusted. When we overhear things,
Speaker 1: we believe it more than what's still directly to us.
Speaker 1: So but here's the thing. You can celebrate that, but
Speaker 1: when they peer poop, do not celebrate that, you know,
Speaker 1: a good job. I mean, you'd be positive. But so
Speaker 1: here's the reason why when when your child is upset
Speaker 1: with you and wants to get back at you, they're
Speaker 1: going to they'll withhold something that you want, and so
Speaker 1: if it's pine and pooping that you love, you know
Speaker 1: that then you love mommy. Well, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: give it to you. You don't want to get into
Speaker 1: that kind of power struggle. So here is another question
Speaker 1: from Laurent. Please excuse me, Laurent if I'm completely butchering
Speaker 1: your name. Um, But Laurent says, our three months old
Speaker 1: sleeps in his crib both day and night with the
Speaker 1: help of a swaddler, pacifier, white noise machine, dark room.
Speaker 1: We always lay him down drowsy but awake, and he
Speaker 1: falls asleep on his own with the pacifier. He has
Speaker 1: a consistent bedtime routine and is sleeping from seven thirty
Speaker 1: pm to six am with no nighttime feetings most of
Speaker 1: the time, and takes three to four consistent naps per day,
Speaker 1: ranging from one hour to three hours max. Everyone's hating Laurent.
Speaker 1: When is it appropriate time to sleep train in terms
Speaker 1: of getting rid of the swaddle, pascifier, etcetera, so that
Speaker 1: he can start to sleep independently at night. Currently, he
Speaker 1: wakes up in fusses three or four times a night,
Speaker 1: and we usually pop the passifire back in to help
Speaker 1: him fall right back asleep. What should we get rid
Speaker 1: of first? We don't want him to become reliant on
Speaker 1: the pass fire, but it's been a really useful tool
Speaker 1: so far during the day as well as night. Okay,
Speaker 1: so a bunch of questions there. Yes, um number one. Um,
Speaker 1: that's pretty good sleep obviously. Um, we all need We
Speaker 1: all have little sleep cues that help us sleep normally.
Speaker 1: You have a pillow, you have a bed, you have
Speaker 1: a comforter. Some people have their special pillow or their
Speaker 1: special sheets. Adam is a sensitive guy, he is, and
Speaker 1: he really likes his pillow. So, um, well, babies are
Speaker 1: the same way. They have their things that really help
Speaker 1: them to sleep, and each one is an individual and
Speaker 1: they have you know, however, interesting thing is that if
Speaker 1: you give a little bit more one thing, oftentimes you
Speaker 1: can help them not need the other thing. Um. So
Speaker 1: kind of like making a stew. If you don't have potatoes,
Speaker 1: but you're put in a little bit more carrots and turnips,
Speaker 1: it kind of works out. And so um for the
Speaker 1: problem with pacifiers, as they fall out and then you
Speaker 1: got to put it back in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1: So the first thing you do is you teach your
Speaker 1: baby to keep it in the mouth longer, and the
Speaker 1: way you teach them to do that, this is a
Speaker 1: technique in the Happiest Baby book. It's called reverse psychology.
Speaker 1: So most people to keep the pacifier in there, kind
Speaker 1: of pushing it in and holding it in. Actually you
Speaker 1: want to do the opposite. You want to pull it out.
Speaker 1: When your baby is sucking on something, and then you
Speaker 1: pretend to take it out, the automatic reaction is to
Speaker 1: suck in more. So you might experience that, like when
Speaker 1: your breastfeeding or bottle feeding. They seem to fall asleep
Speaker 1: and you go to take your breast out and suddenly
Speaker 1: they decide they wanted more. So if you do pull
Speaker 1: it out, it's kind of like fishing and pulling back
Speaker 1: on the line. And if you do that times they
Speaker 1: start to learn to be able to use their mouth
Speaker 1: muscles better and when they feel its falling out, they
Speaker 1: start to suck it in more so they can keep
Speaker 1: it in longer. So that's one thing you can do.
Speaker 1: The second thing is to make sure you're using the
Speaker 1: right type of white noise, and for a three month old,
Speaker 1: if it's too too monotonous and kind of um honey um,
Speaker 1: it's not as effective as a multi frequency sound like
Speaker 1: a rain on the roof sound, or even a vacuum sound,
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. So play around with the type
Speaker 1: of white noise and make sure it's loud enough. It
Speaker 1: should be about seventies seventy, about seventy decibels six to
Speaker 1: seventy decibels by your child's ear, So you don't put
Speaker 1: this sound by the ear, but you you can get
Speaker 1: a little decibel meter on your telephone and measure the
Speaker 1: sound at the level of the baby's ear to see
Speaker 1: that you're not having it too high and too loud.
Speaker 1: And then um. For swaddling, what the Academy Pediatrics recommends
Speaker 1: now is that we stop swaddling at two or three
Speaker 1: months of age because we don't or when babies can
Speaker 1: roll over, we don't them rolling over swaddled, and so um.
Speaker 1: So the best thing is filled a wrong to speak
Speaker 1: to her pediatrician and get her pediatricians advice. Um. What's
Speaker 1: hard is that a lot of babies do well with swaddle,
Speaker 1: need the swaddling for four or five months, even six months,
Speaker 1: and and yet you don't want them rolling over swaddle,
Speaker 1: So it becomes a real dilemma for parents. It's one
Speaker 1: of the reasons that we made snow is because once
Speaker 1: they're secured in place, they can't roll over. And then
Speaker 1: the snow sleep sack that you were talking about. And
Speaker 1: actually now we have a swaddled blanket called Sleepy, which
Speaker 1: is the same sack, except it doesn't have the wings
Speaker 1: that attached to the bed and it's an award winning swaddle.
Speaker 1: We caught the five seconds swaddle because literally boom five
Speaker 1: seconds and it's done so um. So what happens with
Speaker 1: that swaddle is that their little armholes and so um.
Speaker 1: When your baby gets to be four or five months,
Speaker 1: you can let one arm out, well, that's exactly what
Speaker 1: you did with Albie. One arm out, then let the
Speaker 1: second arm out, and so you wean them off of
Speaker 1: the swaddling gradually. The white noise should be at least
Speaker 1: for the first year and really more than that. A
Speaker 1: lot of adults sleep with white We do every night.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I get in a fight without him about
Speaker 1: it because my husband is he has his pillow and
Speaker 1: he has his white noise. He's exactly like my son.
Speaker 1: My son has his thumb and he has the white noise. Um.
Speaker 1: He's a big thumb sucker, which by the way, when
Speaker 1: does that? Like, I don't care like he it's been
Speaker 1: a blessing because we never gave him a pacifier. Okay,
Speaker 1: he found and he had his thumb. Um. He doesn't
Speaker 1: suck it at all during the day. It's just when
Speaker 1: he knows it's naptime and I pick him up and
Speaker 1: he puts his thumb in his mouth and puts his
Speaker 1: head on my shoulder And he doesn't do it throughout
Speaker 1: the night unless he wakes himself up. Then he sucks
Speaker 1: as them to put him back to sleep, which is okay,
Speaker 1: good best. Yes, he's self sufficient that way. And that
Speaker 1: kind of gets the Lam's question as well, which is like,
Speaker 1: when do I stop the pacifier? Yeah, So, in general,
Speaker 1: we wean kids off the past for meaning we take
Speaker 1: it away, usually around six months or so. In the
Speaker 1: deal world, you'll try to do that, however, and with
Speaker 1: passifiers you don't want to start them until the breastfeeding
Speaker 1: is going really well, So we usually like to wait
Speaker 1: a week or two weeks at the most before we
Speaker 1: use the passifier, right, which doesn't happen for most kids,
Speaker 1: but occasionally it's really a problem. Same thing for bottles.
Speaker 1: You'd like to start a bottle at a week or
Speaker 1: two weeks, but not really before that because of you
Speaker 1: don't want the confusion child. Now here's the interesting thing
Speaker 1: about thumb sucking and passifier sucking, which it's really weird.
Speaker 1: This is not not written. I'm I haven't seen it
Speaker 1: written anywhere, but it's been my experience that it runs
Speaker 1: in families. And if the mother or father or a
Speaker 1: couple of the siblings of the mother or father really
Speaker 1: loved sucking their thumb or a pacifier, or how a
Speaker 1: teddy bear or security blanket that they really glombed onto,
Speaker 1: then there's a high likelihood that your baby is going
Speaker 1: to love that as well. Now, you'd much rather have
Speaker 1: your child sucking a pacifier than sucking the thumb, which
Speaker 1: sounds odd because the thumb is always there. So it's like, well,
Speaker 1: they're going to find there's thumb more easily to quit,
Speaker 1: but to quit it, yeah, you don't have control over that.
Speaker 1: It's much harder to quit, and it causes much bigger
Speaker 1: changes to the palate and the and the teeth, so
Speaker 1: it's much more likely to cause you know, significant orthodontic
Speaker 1: issues later on. Once they're doing the thumb. It's kind
Speaker 1: of very hard to get them to stop it. So
Speaker 1: I if I see kids starting to use thumbs a lot,
Speaker 1: I really try to kind of keep up with the
Speaker 1: pacifier so that they kind of stick with the pacifier
Speaker 1: rather than going to their thumbs. Um. And here's the
Speaker 1: thing about pacifiers. If you look at people in other cultures,
Speaker 1: more basic cultures, they're nursing their babies till three or
Speaker 1: four years of age. Sucking is a normal thing for
Speaker 1: three year old and a four year old. So it's
Speaker 1: no sweat, it's not a big deal. If I don't
Speaker 1: want kids walking around all day long, they've got the
Speaker 1: past seed plugged in. But if you only use it
Speaker 1: when you're sleeping or when you're really upset or sick,
Speaker 1: it's it's a friend, and so it's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1: And then by you know, three or four years of age,
Speaker 1: it's much easier for them to give that up. Right. UM,
Speaker 1: I think this is our last question. My child refuses
Speaker 1: to sleep in her own bed, What are some tips
Speaker 1: for getting her to sleep on her own? So this
Speaker 1: is really what the Happiest Baby guide to great sleep.
Speaker 1: You know, birth to five years um is one of
Speaker 1: the things that talks about so if your child wants
Speaker 1: sleep in bed, meaning that you put her in bed
Speaker 1: and she keeps coming to your room, or she want
Speaker 1: to let you know every time you try to leave
Speaker 1: the room, Mommy, I need I need a glass of water,
Speaker 1: I need a kids, I need a pp I need
Speaker 1: you know, I mean they call it curtain calls familiar
Speaker 1: to you coming for us around the corner. For sure?
Speaker 1: Um so, because ultimately think about it this way. Who
Speaker 1: is to sleep by themselves and a dark room all
Speaker 1: alone when the party is happening in the other room.
Speaker 1: Yeah right at a certain point. Yeah so okay, fair enough.
Speaker 1: But kids don't want to There was a time in
Speaker 1: your life when you didn't want to miss the part, no,
Speaker 1: thank you? So um So. Parents are taught you should
Speaker 1: let your child cry it out, and that is a
Speaker 1: tough love way, and it can work, but it can
Speaker 1: totally backfire and your kids starts vomiting and screaming and
Speaker 1: ripping the room apart. It can be a real travail.
Speaker 1: So there's a technique in the Sleep book called twinkle
Speaker 1: interrupt us and it's a very very effective, like or
Speaker 1: so effective technique to get a child over eighteen months
Speaker 1: to two three four years of age two, stop the
Speaker 1: fight and give up and just sleep in their own bed.
Speaker 1: And there are a couple of principles involved in this.
Speaker 1: First is the Happiest Toddler technique, which is called patient stretching.
Speaker 1: So the Happiest Toddler book and DVD t or streaming
Speaker 1: video teach how do you teach patients to a one
Speaker 1: year old? And you do it kind of the opposite
Speaker 1: way that you think you should do it. In other words,
Speaker 1: we think that we say, you know, your child comes
Speaker 1: to you and says, mommy, mommy, do this, and you're
Speaker 1: doing something else and you say, honey, wait one second,
Speaker 1: mommy is gonna be right with you. Uh, that's not
Speaker 1: what you do. You do the opposite. You immediately go
Speaker 1: to your child, Oh, show mommy what you have, and
Speaker 1: just as they start to show it to you in
Speaker 1: that second, then you go, oh, honey, wait one second.
Speaker 1: One one second, sweeter one second. You turn away for
Speaker 1: like three seconds, pretend to do something, to turn your back,
Speaker 1: pretend to and they've already moved on. No, no, no
Speaker 1: they haven't. They're waiting because your finger is up saying
Speaker 1: one second, one second. After three seconds or five seconds,
Speaker 1: you turn back to then and go good waiting, sweetheart,
Speaker 1: Show mommy what you have. Wow, so you do that?
Speaker 1: Want to do this for me? No pay? You do
Speaker 1: that five or six times a day for different things. Cracker, mommy, cracker, Okay,
Speaker 1: sweat er, here's your cracker. Oh wait one second, one second,
Speaker 1: over and over again. And then you increase it from
Speaker 1: three seconds to five to ten, to fifteen to thirty.
Speaker 1: And then here's the trick. Once they're waiting thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: sometimes you only make them wait three seconds. In other words,
Speaker 1: they're expecting to wait longer. Oh my god. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: don't even have to wait that long. It's like, this
Speaker 1: is so cool. It's like what they do to us
Speaker 1: with slot machines. Every once in a while you suddenly win,
Speaker 1: and then you keep thinking I'm gonna win next time,
Speaker 1: and then you know. So you teach patients that way.
Speaker 1: You do that for like a week, to teach your
Speaker 1: child to when you go one second, one second, they
Speaker 1: know they're going to get what they want, but they
Speaker 1: do have to wait a little bit. Then you have
Speaker 1: a nighttime routine, reading a book and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Then you have a little teddy bear or a blanket
Speaker 1: and you have white noise in the room. You need
Speaker 1: all of those ingredients for a week. Then when you
Speaker 1: put them to bed and you ring read the five
Speaker 1: story Worries in the middle of the sixth story, you
Speaker 1: go and then the little boy bunny Rabbit said, oh, honey,
Speaker 1: wait one second, one second, tweeter one second. Mommy just
Speaker 1: has to go see daddy. Or if your child won't
Speaker 1: let you leave the room, I just have to go
Speaker 1: on the other side. I just have one thing over
Speaker 1: there on the table, and you go there for five
Speaker 1: seconds and come back and snuggle up and start reading again.
Speaker 1: And then a minute later, oh, one more second, one
Speaker 1: more second. And after two or three nights, you built
Speaker 1: that up to where you're going out for a minute
Speaker 1: or two minutes and you say, here, hold onto your
Speaker 1: teddy bear, Mommy's going to be right back, and they're
Speaker 1: clutching the teddy bear, the white noises on, they're cuddled
Speaker 1: up in bed, and usually by the time they're waiting
Speaker 1: two minutes, they just fall asleep on their own. And um, really,
Speaker 1: it's really cool because it's not screaming, it's not fighting.
Speaker 1: They feel like they're getting what they want. I can't
Speaker 1: I'm not I have to do that because I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I cannot. I'm not good with him crying. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just not well, you know something, Um, this is a
Speaker 1: kind of a good trick. Sometimes it doesn't work, and
Speaker 1: you do have to kind of decide what you're gonna do,
Speaker 1: but you don't have to cry it out. Sometimes you'll
Speaker 1: put a little bed next to your bed, you know,
Speaker 1: and say, honey, honey, this is mommy daddy's bed, and
Speaker 1: this is your bed right next to right. So you
Speaker 1: can sleep there on the floor and you're cute, cuddly
Speaker 1: mattress and be right next to mommy and daddy. Or
Speaker 1: you can sleep in the room with your child and
Speaker 1: then gradually move your bed further and further away. I mean,
Speaker 1: there are different techniques described in the book. But I
Speaker 1: love Twinkle interrupt this because it works so well and
Speaker 1: it and it's teaching your child a good thing, which
Speaker 1: is more patient. No one did that Twinkle interrupt. This
Speaker 1: was not given to me as a child. This was
Speaker 1: so informative. Again, we could talk for like a hundred
Speaker 1: thousand hours, and I hope you guys found this to
Speaker 1: be like just so informative. The books are incredible. The DVD,
Speaker 1: the streaming video. The streaming video for the five s
Speaker 1: is was a game changer for us. And so is
Speaker 1: this new. Thanks and that's all on Happiest Baby dot com. Oh, actually,
Speaker 1: you know what we're doing with snoop. We've started this year.
Speaker 1: We're renting Snooze to corporations. So if you have a
Speaker 1: big if you work for a big company, tell your
Speaker 1: benefits department. So Hulu, Activision, Snap, Google, Facebook, WelCom here
Speaker 1: they all now give it as a free rental to
Speaker 1: their employees to say we love you, we want to
Speaker 1: take care of you, want to get works. Wow, that
Speaker 1: is that's brilliant. Thank you so much for taking the time.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you guys, love you now. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening to Katie's Crib. And be
Speaker 1: sure to check out Shonda land dot com where you
Speaker 1: can find every episode of Katie's Crib. And we've got
Speaker 1: crib notes for each episode where you can find out
Speaker 1: more about our guests and links to some of the
Speaker 1: resources we talked about on the podcast. And last but
Speaker 1: not least, subscribe. We're on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher basically
Speaker 1: like wherever you at your podcasts want