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Speaker 1: So Hi, everybody, Welcome to Katie's crib. We are talking

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Speaker 1: to Stay to Dr Harvey Carp. He is a pediatrician

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Speaker 1: and child development expert who's practiced pediatrics in Los Angeles

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Speaker 1: for over twenty five years. He is the founder and

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Speaker 1: CEO of Happiest Baby, a smart tech and parenting solutions company,

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Speaker 1: and Dr carp is the author of three books, Happiest

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Speaker 1: Baby on the Block, Happiest Toddler on the Block, The

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Speaker 1: Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep, which is for the

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Speaker 1: first five years of life. It's such a weird title,

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Speaker 1: Happiest Baby Guy, but it's really for the first five years.

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Speaker 1: So sleep from from five yeah, yeah, wow, okay, um, Amazon,

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Speaker 1: get ready for that purchase today. But just to start

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Speaker 1: us off, and just so I understand, yes, I know

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Speaker 1: it's a loss. Landel is filmed in that next room.

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Speaker 1: Is that right? Is this this? This is the main studio.

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Speaker 1: This is also a studio a lot. Now, this is

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Speaker 1: one in my house and this is one of the

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Speaker 1: room I usually at about five pm in this playroom,

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Speaker 1: Albie plays and I drink wine and then I invite

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Speaker 1: over other mommies that have babies or kids of any age.

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Speaker 1: And they literally tear the room apart while we doing wine.

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Speaker 1: Mother's juice, Yeah, mother's juice exactly. Can you tell us

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Speaker 1: a little bit about yourself and what you do. So

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Speaker 1: I'm a pediatrician, and that's what I do. I mean,

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Speaker 1: for decades, I was the neighborhood doctor. And what happened

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Speaker 1: was I kind of observed some things that hadn't really

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Speaker 1: been written about before. I'm always interested in problems that

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Speaker 1: haven't been solved, and so I was interested. Babies cry,

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Speaker 1: and you would be told, oh, babies just cry, there's

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Speaker 1: nothing you can do about it, or sleep babies they

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Speaker 1: don't sleep well in the beginning, and just suck it

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Speaker 1: up and deal with it and sooner or later we'll

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Speaker 1: get better or let them cry it out. And that

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Speaker 1: stuff never made sense to me. So um so long

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Speaker 1: long time ago. I came to realize that people in

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Speaker 1: other culture is much more successful at calming their babies.

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Speaker 1: You go to some some you know areas in the

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Speaker 1: world you never hear a crying baby, and and they're

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Speaker 1: they're not like genetically different babies. I mean, it's the

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Speaker 1: parents doing different things. So that got me interested, and

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Speaker 1: I started to study that and then I did it

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Speaker 1: on thousands of babies to really perfect my techniques, and

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Speaker 1: that's when I wrote the Happiest Baby on the Block video,

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Speaker 1: And those five s is exactly right. The five s

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Speaker 1: is are literally like the most famous thing of all time,

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Speaker 1: like everyone knows, like in my group of friends, it's

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Speaker 1: a lifesaver. Can you explain to people what the five

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Speaker 1: uses are for the fifty billion? Well? No, I mean

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Speaker 1: I love it because it's just so empowering to parents.

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Speaker 1: So five us so well. The first key concept is

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Speaker 1: babies are not ready to be born after nine months.

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Speaker 1: Horses are ready. Cows are ready. They can run. A

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Speaker 1: horse doesn't get stuck by its head. It gets stuck

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Speaker 1: by the body. And the body is as strong as

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Speaker 1: it can be, so it can run that first day

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Speaker 1: because otherwise it'll get eaten exactly exactly our babies, and

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Speaker 1: we survived because of our noodles. And so the brain

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Speaker 1: is as big as it can be and still get

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Speaker 1: out and it's a tight fit. I don't need to

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Speaker 1: tell you that. So um, and what happens I kind

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Speaker 1: of think of it like these James Bond movies. You know,

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Speaker 1: James Bond is on the motorcycle and he's rushing out

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Speaker 1: this underground parking lot and the metal door is coming down,

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Speaker 1: and he's rushing in. The door is coming down. He's

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Speaker 1: going to be locked in there. And at the last

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Speaker 1: second he puts the motorcycle down. No, he lies it

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Speaker 1: on the ground and slides underneath just as this thing

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Speaker 1: is closing. That's our baby's heads exactly so. And if

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Speaker 1: you miss that opportunity, then that's why we do ces

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Speaker 1: arean sections, and we're lucky we can do that because

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Speaker 1: like my wife's grandmother died, I mean, that wasn't that uncommon.

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Speaker 1: So because the head is so big and we get

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Speaker 1: out earlier than say other mammals do. We have this

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Speaker 1: thing called fourth trymester exactly right now where the baby

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Speaker 1: really should still sort of be mimicking the world in

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Speaker 1: which it was in the womb, because it feels unsafe.

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Speaker 1: It's such a huge transition, and this is why it's

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Speaker 1: so tough for new parents because the next four months

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Speaker 1: or five months, you are one big walking uterus. I

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Speaker 1: mean inside you're holding your baby NonStop. You're rocking every

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Speaker 1: time you breathe, and every time you walk, your baby

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Speaker 1: is being rocked and jiggled the sound is. Actually it is,

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Speaker 1: except babies are underwater, so when you're underwater, you can't

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Speaker 1: hear the high pitch. So it isn't that that they

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Speaker 1: hear what they hear and your voice and other things

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Speaker 1: like that, but it's because they're underwater. Wow, So then

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Speaker 1: it's so shocking for them to be out. I mean

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Speaker 1: June Refuel, who is a wonderful actress and a dear

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Speaker 1: front of mine, she was on Katie's Crib the first

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Speaker 1: season and she said the first three months she calls

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Speaker 1: the dark days of your But basically why is because

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Speaker 1: it's it is you are essentially still providing a wound

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Speaker 1: for your kid, but it's just now so full on

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Speaker 1: because you have to consciously carry them around, consciously make

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Speaker 1: those sounds, consciously make them feel safe close to you,

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Speaker 1: which is hard. But you're doing it fourteen hours a

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Speaker 1: day and you used to do the twenty four hours

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Speaker 1: a day. From the baby's point view, it's a rip off, right,

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Speaker 1: It's like whoa Bayton switch? And from our point of view,

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Speaker 1: it's like, are you kidding me? This is NonStop? But

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Speaker 1: this is the big lie because today if you have

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Speaker 1: a nanny or a night nursey. You know, you're pretty

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Speaker 1: well off if you have two nanny's. I mean you're

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Speaker 1: like really well off. Who the hell has that? But

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Speaker 1: like what no? Okay, so I mean you don't have that. However,

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Speaker 1: up until a hundred years ago, everyone has five nanni's. Right,

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Speaker 1: your grandma, you're yeah, your extra neighbor's older daughter. Can

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Speaker 1: you held the baby for you? Okay? So, I mean

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Speaker 1: the mother was babied as much as the baby was babied.

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Speaker 1: In fact, in many cultures they have a hundred years,

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Speaker 1: a hundred days ceremony where for the first hundred days

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Speaker 1: you don't leave the house. You are taking care of.

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Speaker 1: You were bathed, you were fed, you were pampered first

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Speaker 1: forty days. But I didn't know the first hundred days. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so many many Asian countries, guys, you hear it here

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Speaker 1: on Katie's Crib. First, can we start a sucking movement

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Speaker 1: called the first hundred days where the mom and the

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Speaker 1: baby are just totally taken care of for a hundred days, Like,

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Speaker 1: why can't that be happening? And you know, we just

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Speaker 1: came back from Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, all you Katie's Crib

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Speaker 1: listeners and viewers, but there was a six week old

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Speaker 1: baby there, and I think she had a wonderful weekend

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Speaker 1: because every time the baby was like fussy or communicating,

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Speaker 1: the baby got passed around to grandma too great grandma,

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Speaker 1: to aunts, to uncles, two cousins, and so the baby

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Speaker 1: was always like I was getting new someone who had

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Speaker 1: energy when the mom is so tired, like I can't

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Speaker 1: be holding the baby and I know the baby wants

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Speaker 1: to be held right now. No mother in history ever

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Speaker 1: did that. And women, this is one of the things

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Speaker 1: that so upsetting to me because women are told, hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: you decide to have a baby, so this is your responsibility.

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Speaker 1: Now it's your problem, and don't complain about it because

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Speaker 1: you wanted to be a mom. Well I did want

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Speaker 1: to be a mom, but I do have to sleep also,

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Speaker 1: and everyone's different. Some people do fine without sleep, other

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Speaker 1: people it's total torture. Well, I understood for the first

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Speaker 1: time ever why sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

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Speaker 1: More times, I was like, if I got behind the

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Speaker 1: wheel of a car right now, I might drive off

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Speaker 1: a cliff that I can't do only four hours of sleep.

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Speaker 1: I can for a week, but I can't do it

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Speaker 1: four weeks well, and even the four hours, it's broken

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Speaker 1: up in little pieces. It's not even continual sleep to

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Speaker 1: get as a new mom, and that makes it even Tougher.

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Speaker 1: Studies definitely show that if you get six hours or less,

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Speaker 1: you're essentially equivalent to a drunk person. You get into

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Speaker 1: car accidents the way drunk people can take constance. You

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Speaker 1: do you're kind of disoriented, and some people, again are

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Speaker 1: much more sensitive to that. It's not even six hours,

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Speaker 1: it's broken up little pieces of six hours. So the

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Speaker 1: fourth fourth just wanting to follow up this one point

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Speaker 1: about being drunk. Yeah, besides momagers, um we um. It's

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Speaker 1: a really serious issue because so many mothers accidentally or

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Speaker 1: intentionally fall asleep with the baby and and you'll read, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: in other cultures they do that and it encourages breastfeeding,

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Speaker 1: and and there's some truth to that. However, you would

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Speaker 1: never bring your baby in bed with you if you

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Speaker 1: were drunk, Well, why would you do it? If you're

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Speaker 1: so exhausted, you're the equivalent of drunk. And video studies

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Speaker 1: have been done that show that mothers, you know you're

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Speaker 1: not you just you think you have one eye open

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Speaker 1: all night long. But you own you're so tired that

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Speaker 1: you fall into a deep sleep and you can pull

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Speaker 1: the blankets. Over seventy almost four thousand babies die each

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Speaker 1: year in the United States in the first year of

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Speaker 1: life in their sleep. Of those babies die in bed

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Speaker 1: with their parents or in another unsafe place, like on

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Speaker 1: the sofa with their parents. Things like that. Terrible say

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Speaker 1: I did. It happened to us once when Albi was

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Speaker 1: really little, like maybe six weeks. I was so tired.

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Speaker 1: Adam went out for one thing for the night for

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Speaker 1: a couple of hours, and I was I never took

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Speaker 1: him in bed with me. I always breastfed him in

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Speaker 1: a chair in his room, but I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to try it, and I breastfed laying down in

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Speaker 1: my bed. And the next thing I knew, Adam came

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Speaker 1: in and he was like Katie, Katie, And I was

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Speaker 1: like what, And he said, Albie's head looked really weird.

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Speaker 1: He had gotten himself now a blanket wasn't over and

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Speaker 1: he had gotten himself in a position. And I fell

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Speaker 1: asleep and I didn't even realize, No, no, you don't

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Speaker 1: And I don't know for how long, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know me you know, Harry, there's something called micro asleep.

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Speaker 1: This is a little a little science here. So we

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Speaker 1: go to sleep, we think, okay, and now I'm going

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Speaker 1: to go to bed. I put my head on the

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Speaker 1: pillow and then I fall asleep. And you think that

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Speaker 1: you're kind of aware when you're allowing yourself to fall asleep.

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Speaker 1: But actually there's something called microsleep, which is when part

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Speaker 1: of the brain goes to sleep before all of the

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Speaker 1: brain goes to sleep. And this is what happens when

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Speaker 1: you're driving and you know you're tired, and your eyes

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Speaker 1: are rolling around a little bit, but you're still awake,

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Speaker 1: and then suddenly you fell asleep. When you have microsleep,

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Speaker 1: the brain is so close that boom, just in a second,

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Speaker 1: the lights can go off, I mean in your head

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Speaker 1: and you can fall asleep. And that's what happens with

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Speaker 1: the baby because it's cozy and swede and I freaking tire. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So just the five s is that are a savior

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Speaker 1: for women, especially in this first three months where a

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Speaker 1: baby can be really, really fussy, because like you said,

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Speaker 1: they're not really ready to be outside of their mom yet.

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Speaker 1: They have to scientifically and physically. But the five S

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Speaker 1: stand for it. Right, So the five s is are

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Speaker 1: five ways to imitate the womb. And interestingly, they don't

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Speaker 1: just make the baby nostalgic. Oh cool, this is where

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Speaker 1: I used to live. It's not like that. It's you're

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Speaker 1: actually turning on a reflex, a response that's built into

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Speaker 1: the baby. So babies are are okay learners, but they're

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Speaker 1: not great yet, right, It's gonna take a few years

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Speaker 1: to get great. But they do learn things in the womb.

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Speaker 1: They're learning to recognize flavors, recognize your voice, recognize the

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Speaker 1: sounds around them. Um. But mostly babies are built on reflexes,

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Speaker 1: which is built in software. So in other words, when

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Speaker 1: you buy a computer already has stuff there that allows

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Speaker 1: you to start using it right away, babies have stuff

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Speaker 1: in there that's pre programmed. So sucking, you don't teach

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Speaker 1: your baby how to suck, how to cry, how to swallow,

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Speaker 1: how to blink. That stuff has to be there for survival.

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Speaker 1: Even even you know, there are ancient reflexes that are there.

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Speaker 1: Like you put something in the baby's hand, they grab

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Speaker 1: on you. You put something in the baby's foot, it

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Speaker 1: grabs on you. Is that you know? That's an interesting one.

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Speaker 1: So um. It turns out that what's the new information

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Speaker 1: and Happiest Baby is this idea that babies actually have

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Speaker 1: a reflex we never knew about before, which is like

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Speaker 1: an off switch for crying in an on switch for sleep.

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Speaker 1: It's not really a switch, but it kind of gets

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Speaker 1: them there if they're if they're ready to like, if

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Speaker 1: the baby is super hungry, you can do the five

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Speaker 1: s is. It's never gonna it's never gonna work because

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Speaker 1: they need something else. But if they're you know, kind

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Speaker 1: of not hungry and they're not in discomfort, it'll ease

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Speaker 1: them into into sleep and sometimes it will calm crying

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Speaker 1: in seconds. Oh I've seen you on the video but

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Speaker 1: there there you go. It's like you guys the great

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Speaker 1: How long is that dvd? And half hour? There's a

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Speaker 1: half hour dvd Happiest Baby on the DVD and they

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Speaker 1: they hand you screaming babies and it's Adam, and Adam

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Speaker 1: would always do an imitation of it where like you know,

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Speaker 1: they just go like livet in their arms. It's absolutely incredible. Well,

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Speaker 1: and my my publisher hates me to say this, but

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Speaker 1: I really really recommend. I mean, the book is a

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Speaker 1: really interesting books read the book, but the only baby

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Speaker 1: book I read, actually I did. I tried pregnant to

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Speaker 1: make it through a lot of books. I really tried,

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Speaker 1: but I was really tired and I would get through stuff.

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Speaker 1: But yours, I actually read the whole thing because it's

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Speaker 1: it's it's my type of book. It's broken up in chapters,

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Speaker 1: so it's very goal oriented for me. Yeah, like it's

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Speaker 1: very and it's not like huge or you know, it

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Speaker 1: was just but anyway, the way you learn the techniques,

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Speaker 1: it's really by watching, and so I encourage people to

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Speaker 1: watch the video, kind of like learning how to tie

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Speaker 1: your shoelaces. You can learn it from a book, but

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Speaker 1: but it's better to see it. Yeah, and especially for guys,

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Speaker 1: because men actually are great at it. They're the best

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Speaker 1: in the family. Men are terrible at breastfeeding, but men

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Speaker 1: are really really good at baby coming. Um. They swaddle, snugger,

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Speaker 1: they jiggle more jiggling. It was horrible, it's horrible. Well anyway,

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Speaker 1: so the five is stand for our five ways of

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Speaker 1: imitating the womb. Swaddling is the first is the cornerstone

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Speaker 1: arms down actually's best um and there's people get confused

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Speaker 1: about that, but it's really, that's the way it works,

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Speaker 1: even though it looks weird and like you would hate it.

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Speaker 1: But babies don't get the vote. And this is an

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Speaker 1: important thing everyone. Some people go, my baby doesn't like it,

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Speaker 1: because kids, when they're upset, they'll struggle and fight you,

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Speaker 1: and you'll think that the baby doesn't like it. They

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Speaker 1: need it. They need it. They don't know it's best

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Speaker 1: for the swaddled for months and then when he got

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Speaker 1: out of we slowly decided at like around three or

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Speaker 1: four months two. Then he spent time unswaddled just one arm,

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Speaker 1: and then like weeks later he got the other arm

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Speaker 1: and we only swaddled the legs, and then weeks later

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Speaker 1: he got the legs out because he slowly introduced him

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Speaker 1: to freedom. Right, No, that's right for whatever they can handle. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know so, um so that's swaddling and swaddling offen

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Speaker 1: Tis most of the time doesn't turn on the calming reflex.

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Speaker 1: In fact, sometimes they cry more, and that's what makes

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Speaker 1: you think that they don't like it. But they have

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Speaker 1: to be swaddled. It makes everything else work better, and

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Speaker 1: then it also allows them to be calm or longer

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Speaker 1: because they're not upsetting themselves with because if they're not

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Speaker 1: swallowed in the middle of the night and they go

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Speaker 1: like that, they wake themselves up. We're crying, We're here

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Speaker 1: all over again. But if they have that thing but

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Speaker 1: they feel like they're in the womb and it's still constricted,

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Speaker 1: that's right. They're not wagging themselves in the face now.

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Speaker 1: So that's the first step, and then you layer on

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Speaker 1: the other four things. So then it's the side or

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Speaker 1: stomach position. The back is the worst position for calming

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Speaker 1: a baby. It's the best position for sleep, the only

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Speaker 1: safe position for sleep, So side stomach is never for sleeping,

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Speaker 1: only the back for sleeping. But the back is the

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Speaker 1: worst because they kind of feel like they're falling. The

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Speaker 1: third is um is sure in your arm, you put

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Speaker 1: them on their side, or you put them on their stomach,

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Speaker 1: exactly right, so they call that the football hold or

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Speaker 1: up over your shoulder where they're leaning forward. Um. The

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Speaker 1: third S is sure or white noise, but it has

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Speaker 1: to be we'll talk about this maybe in a minute.

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Speaker 1: There's different types of white noise. Some work better for crying,

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Speaker 1: some work better for sleep. The third S is swinging

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Speaker 1: or rhythmic motion. UH. And the and The fifth test

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Speaker 1: is sucking, and every baby is different. They all need swaddling.

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Speaker 1: But some babies you swallow them and do the sound

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Speaker 1: and their golden. Other babies should swallow and do the sound.

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Speaker 1: It does nothing until you have the motion. Other babies

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Speaker 1: need this sucking. Some babies need all five at the

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Speaker 1: same time to turn on the reflex and even vigorously

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Speaker 1: like and once you get them calm and again, if

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Speaker 1: you do it right, oftentimes it happens in seconds. Then

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Speaker 1: you kind of slow it down and kind of gradually

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Speaker 1: get them to kind of downshift into into sleep. Um.

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Speaker 1: We have to talk about this new which we used

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Speaker 1: like crazy um and was like having what you would

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Speaker 1: say a night nurse or a nanny or any of

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Speaker 1: your cousins. That's kind of doing it itself right. So

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. You should have your older sister with

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Speaker 1: you and she would come in and say, you know, Katie,

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Speaker 1: you guys sleep. I'm gonna hold rock and shush the

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Speaker 1: baby all night long. The baby gets upsettled, jiggle and

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Speaker 1: shish a little more. And if I can't come the

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Speaker 1: baby down, I'm getting you to feed the baby. And

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Speaker 1: what happens is that when babies wake up in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night. Number one, if you just put

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Speaker 1: the baby in a regular bassonet, they're lying there. It's

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Speaker 1: so different than the world inside. So that's why they

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Speaker 1: don't sleep well. You could sleep on the on the

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Speaker 1: cement floor if you had to. You're not gonna sleep well,

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Speaker 1: but you will sleep because you're gonna be so tired.

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Speaker 1: Babies will sleep on their backs in a quiet, still bead,

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Speaker 1: they're just going to wake up more so if you

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Speaker 1: swaddle them safely and you use the type of white

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Speaker 1: noise and you use the right type of motion. So

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Speaker 1: for babies who are asleep, of course, it's just natural, right,

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Speaker 1: it's just general rock feels like they're still in there. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: because even all night long when you're pregnant, every time

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Speaker 1: you breathe, your diet fragm is moving and rocking your baby.

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Speaker 1: So so they expect that they Why take away everything

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Speaker 1: that I love and I need to sleep? I just guys, born,

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Speaker 1: why are you taking it always from me? Then? What

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Speaker 1: snow does, in addition to rocking and shishing all night

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Speaker 1: is that it hears when the baby cries and responds

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Speaker 1: with a little bit more jiggle and shish well, you

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Speaker 1: know we built it, uh my initials super chice looking

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Speaker 1: thanks like just Google snow. We'll put a link to

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Speaker 1: it on on we of Katie's crib notes below every podcast.

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Speaker 1: But it's beautiful, Like it's so beautiful. We're the most

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Speaker 1: awarded baby product in history for innovation, technology, of ge, safety,

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Speaker 1: and design. It's in three of the leading art museums

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Speaker 1: around the world. We loved it because I was a

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Speaker 1: bad swaddler and so this new comes with a really

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Speaker 1: beautifully tight zip up a bowl sleep sack sort of

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Speaker 1: thing that you put the baby in, and it is

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Speaker 1: a swat. It's a swaddle, but I'm not doing it

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Speaker 1: with all this material that he's getting out of it.

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Speaker 1: It's terrible. Um. And then it has was it four

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Speaker 1: different levels, so it's four different levels of sound in

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Speaker 1: motion and then the baseline which is where they sleep.

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Speaker 1: But it has an app because some kids need a

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Speaker 1: little yea. The app also every day you can you

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Speaker 1: get a download graphic of how your baby slapped and

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Speaker 1: how how it's changing over the last week. It's the

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Speaker 1: biggest deal. Lever like Beyonce uses it. We have a

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Speaker 1: lot of a lot of I'm saying I heard that

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Speaker 1: Beyonce used it. It's beautiful, it's amazing, and it's really

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Speaker 1: as far as yes, it is a pricey crib, but

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Speaker 1: you're not paying for a night nurse which is like

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Speaker 1: two thousand dollars a week, and you can't pay for sleep,

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Speaker 1: which is literally the only most thing you need that

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Speaker 1: you would so here for Here's there are two There

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Speaker 1: are two questions that people have about snow when they

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Speaker 1: hear about it. Uh, two big ones. One is, oh,

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Speaker 1: my god, my baby is going to get used to it,

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Speaker 1: and then my baby's never going to get my baby

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Speaker 1: off of it. And it turns out it's a piece

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Speaker 1: of cake if you wait for five six months, because

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Speaker 1: then your baby is mature enough to move out. So

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like eating food. You give your baby

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Speaker 1: milk for every meal for the first six months. You

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Speaker 1: don't worry. They're never going to eat food, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know they will when the time is right. And

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Speaker 1: the same thing happens with sleep once they get into

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Speaker 1: a really great sleep pattern. So snoop by the motion

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Speaker 1: and sound, trains babies to be better sleepers. It immediately

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Speaker 1: adds an extra hour to two to a baby's sleep

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Speaker 1: and usually by two three months, or sleeping seven eight

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Speaker 1: hours straight, I mean dream the same thing happening and

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Speaker 1: he's seven to seven now and we trained them out

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Speaker 1: of it. No problem, there you come. So that's the

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Speaker 1: one thing. The second thing is the price. It turns

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Speaker 1: out though that I mean, we have sales all the

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Speaker 1: time anyway on the website, but it's which is pricey

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Speaker 1: for a baby bed, but this is a gorgeous bed,

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Speaker 1: the most sophisticated, white noise machine, the safest swing. The

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Speaker 1: baby is swaddled and attached to the bed so they

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Speaker 1: can't roll to an unsafe position. So it's the safest

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Speaker 1: bet ever made. It's extra sleep for you and the baby,

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Speaker 1: and it's twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,

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Speaker 1: an extra pair of hands. You're going to use it

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Speaker 1: for months. If you have another baby, you'll use it again.

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Speaker 1: I want to get to some questions because our listeners

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Speaker 1: are like, women are just struggling. This is really hard

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Speaker 1: and it's wonderful that you are providing help. From Chelsea

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Speaker 1: Gambino on Instagram, what is a realistic expectation for a

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Speaker 1: baby to sleep through the night and have you noticed

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Speaker 1: the difference between breastbed versus formula fed babies. So it

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Speaker 1: depends on how you define sleep through the night um

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Speaker 1: in different studies. Some people to find is five hours straight,

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Speaker 1: some people to find it is eight hours straight. So

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Speaker 1: it kind of depends. What we see with SNOW is

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Speaker 1: that babies usually sleep um seven or eight hours straight

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Speaker 1: in a segment, usually by two months, and that's really

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Speaker 1: advanced compared to a baby who's not in snoop. So,

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Speaker 1: but if you're using at least you're swaddling and the

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Speaker 1: white type of white noise. Yeah, those two things together

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Speaker 1: are big help as well. And um, so you would.

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Speaker 1: Of course, some babies are great sleepers, they'll do it

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Speaker 1: really right from the first month or so, but for

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Speaker 1: the most part, it takes really three or four months

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Speaker 1: to get that good solid nighttime sleep. Do you notice

425
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: the difference between breastfed babies and formula fed babies. Yeah,

426
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: so breastfed babies usually need to be fed more frequently,

427
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: and so they're waking up, they're waking up more often. Um.

428
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: Breastfeeding mothers, however, interestingly, actually sleep as much or more

429
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: than formula fed. Is that fading mothers? Yeah, I know,

430
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: it kind of sounds odd. Isn't it. But but that's

431
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: with this study show Wow, um from Joy, how do

432
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 1: you get a teething baby to sleep through the night

433
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: without using drugs? This is a really big question. I

434
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: have to because I'm really careful about the amount of

435
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: motor and and tail and all. Like I'm so I

436
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: rarely use it. It makes me I don't know. Um,

437
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 1: I try basically any other thing, and he's getting all

438
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: four molars at the same time. When a baby is

439
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 1: super screaming and uncomfortable, I give a motor and I'm like,

440
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: if I had a splitting headache and I couldn't sleep,

441
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 1: I would give myself bill. So fine, Um, but how

442
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 1: do you do without using drugs? So a couple of things.

443
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: So some baby it's just teeth, that's no big deal

444
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 1: for them. Other babies really seem to go through, you know,

445
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: angst and and suffering. So one simple thing you can

446
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: do is elevate the head of the bed just a

447
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: little bit, just a couple of inches, because when you're

448
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: lying back, the blood kind of fills the area. Everything

449
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: gets more swollen, you know, your nose gets more stuffy.

450
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: If you elevate your head, it's easier to breathe a

451
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: little bit and the gums are a little bit less

452
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: swollen and throbby. So just elevating the head is one

453
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: good thing. The second thing is you have things on Amazon,

454
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: for example, like that you go put under the mattress.

455
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: You know, I used to use it when you get

456
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: cold too, so that like the boogers and everything would

457
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: sort of like drain the other way. But it's like

458
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: a wedge, right you put or I guess you could

459
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 1: just put a book right, yeah, I know you can,

460
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 1: or a little something under the feet of the crib. Yes,

461
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: you'll see. If you have a baby moves around a lot,

462
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: then they may end up outside down in the other direction.

463
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 1: So I mean it's one thing you can do. The

464
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: second thing is using a strong white noise because when

465
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: the white noise, when you wake up in the middle

466
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 1: of the night, it's totally quiet, and you've got golob

467
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: throb throb. You know, it bothers you more. But if

468
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: you wake up and there's some things going on, you

469
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: don't pay as much attention to what's going on inside

470
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: because the pain is not really that much pain as

471
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: much as it is a nuisance and awareness. So but

472
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: the last thing has is what you said about using.

473
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,719
Speaker 1: So there are homeopathic drops and haven't I haven't been

474
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: impressed by them. Yeah. Um, but motion is a really

475
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 1: great tool, much more than taile and all because it's

476
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 1: going to last longer through the night. But here's the

477
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: trick with motran everybody likes to kind of give a

478
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 1: little less and it says on the label, actually speak

479
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: to your doctor about it because the label underdoses, and

480
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: so you really need to speak to give him the

481
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: right dosage because I'm always like, well, he's lighter weight,

482
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: you know, under the year. It's at one point seven

483
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 1: five because he's over a year old. But for the

484
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 1: weight thing, he is on the lowest end of the

485
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: weight for a kid over a year. So I'm always like, well,

486
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: I'll just give him the dosage for like a baby baby. Yeah. Yeah.

487
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 1: And the weird thing about motrin or Thailand, all they

488
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: underdose just to cover their but you know, just to

489
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: be super maybe maybe, but um, but when you underdose,

490
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: it's like you may as well not do it. So

491
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: there's a threshold you have to get to a certain

492
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 1: dose level for the effect of it, and usually for

493
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 1: for little kids, we recommend ten milligrams per kilogram, which

494
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: is like five per pound, five milligrams per pound. But

495
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 1: speak speak to your doctor. Of course, it's with drugs.

496
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: We always want to be really safe and whatever. But um,

497
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 1: guess what, alb you're getting one eight seven freaking five

498
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: the next time you're teating in the middle of the night.

499
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 1: Um from Tammy, a mom who's read your book, followed

500
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: all of your methods. The one dirty little secret for

501
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 1: almost all of the new parents I know this includes pediatricians,

502
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: is that a lot of breastfeeding moms co sleep. What's

503
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: your stance on co sleeping and hasn't changed at all

504
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: given how other cultures and American culture secretly cold sleep, right,

505
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 1: So nowadays in our culture, so there's co sleeping and

506
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: there's bed sharing. Co sleeping means the babies in the

507
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: room with you, hopefully right next to your bed. Bed

508
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: sharing obviously is they're in the bed with you. Um.

509
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,360
Speaker 1: Bed sharing has clearly been associated with a higher risk

510
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 1: of infant sleep death, even in breastfeeding moms who are

511
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: not smoking. And you're not drunk because like I said,

512
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,719
Speaker 1: you're kind of drunk anyway, just from exhaustion. So what

513
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: you want to do is have your baby right next

514
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: to you, because that makes it cozy and nice, and

515
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: you can attend to your baby's needs and breastfeed easily,

516
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: but not in bed with you. So you can have

517
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: a co sleeper, you can have a bassonet next to you,

518
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: or a snoo right next to you. Those are the

519
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: things that you want to do. The um having said that,

520
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: about sixty or seventy of breastfeeding moms will fall asleep

521
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 1: with their babies in bed with them, and you almost

522
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: you almost can't help it. It happens, but you really

523
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, UM, and so it's it's

524
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: worth kind of making a pact, like you've made a

525
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 1: promise to yourself. Not that it never happens, of course,

526
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: you're just a human being, but you're really it's such

527
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 1: a terrible, terrible ruined obviously the terrible death of a child.

528
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,719
Speaker 1: But I've spoken to mom's who lost their first baby,

529
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: and you're like, if your baby is in bed with you,

530
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: your life is ruined. You will never ever escape that.

531
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, I can't even um from Priscilla.

532
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: Priscilla's mom has been a very present caregiver for her

533
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: almost three year old and when it's just the mom

534
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: and the toddler together. Her mom mentions he's very affectionate

535
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: and acts normal. However, as soon as the mom shows up,

536
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: like dropping him off at the house, he'll actually hit

537
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: or kick her, not hard but a swat to show

538
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: his displeasure. The mom's theory is that he doesn't want

539
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,959
Speaker 1: to get excuse me. Priscilla's theories that he doesn't want

540
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: to get dropped off. She doesn't know why he why

541
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: he'd do this when it's time to pick him up,

542
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: She has no reason to suspect abuse. When he plays

543
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: with toys, he's always includes a grandma role for a

544
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: toy or stuffed animal along with that for a mom, dad,

545
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 1: and baby. And he will tell me outside of grandma's

546
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: presence that he loves grandma. So what is and on?

547
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: How do I get him to stop? His teacher says

548
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: he doesn't hit other kids at his tyler program. Um,

549
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: super fantastic question, fantastic fantastic question, and fantastic way of

550
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: think about it, because kind you know how the the

551
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: the the frontier guides would lead you through the forest

552
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: and they'd be looking for a broken twig or a

553
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: footmark and that would they read the signs to figure

554
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: out how to get through the forest to the other side.

555
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: As a parent, you learned to read the signs and um.

556
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: And what was so intelligent and that question is, hey,

557
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: is it possible that my child is being mistreated in

558
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: some way? You hate to think about that, but it

559
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: does happen. I mean we read about in the newspaper

560
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: every day. Um. And so she thought very carefully about

561
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: what other signs would I see if my baby were

562
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: being mistreated? Um? You know, more temper tantrums, more bedwedding,

563
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: more toilet accidents, more nightmares, more acting out behavior in

564
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: school more um um saying of course you you think

565
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: you could ask a three year old, he's pretty talkative,

566
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: did somebody hit you? You know, we kind of do

567
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: that in that earnest question. But they don't really have

568
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: the ability to answer direct quest. I mean, of course

569
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: they can know that they might not. So the way

570
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: you often do, the way you open the door into

571
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: a child's mind oftentimes is through play. And so you

572
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: have the puppets, and you have oh, here's grandma Doggie,

573
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: and he's you know, little boy dogging hi Grandma, Grandma.

574
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: Oh uh, a little boy, doggie, what why do you

575
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: want to ask grandma? You know, say grandma, please don't

576
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: what you know? And then you, I mean, you can

577
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: leave the witness a little bit and he's going to

578
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: play with grandma differently exactly. Have some sort of feelings

579
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: come up about that now if he doesn't, and she's

580
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: sort of done that sort of investigative work. So here's

581
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: is this separation anxiety? Is this? It's probably more like

582
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: there are too many things going on in his life.

583
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: He's tired at that point in time. He's a little hungry.

584
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 1: It's he's nappy, needs his nap or whatever, and he's

585
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: on the ragged edge. And so we know about the

586
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: terrible twos, but the terrible twos, which are out more

587
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: outburst behaviors, it doesn't mean when you're two years old

588
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: it happens. It means between eighteen months and two years.

589
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: That's when you have that imbalanced period. Usually once you

590
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: get over to it's getting much better. And then there's

591
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 1: another one that happens between three and three and a half.

592
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: Hello God, But that's where happy is Toddler helps you out, Yes,

593
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: because those two I've read, but I have not yet

594
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: read the Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep. I mean,

595
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: and that's not only about sleeping. I mean because I

596
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: that's really where where I'm heading into with a lot

597
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: of the moms and my mom crew were going through this,

598
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: like when are we dropping one, you know, two naps

599
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: to one nap? And when is that one nap during

600
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: the day? And now we're introducing nursery school, and how

601
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: are we dealing with sleep? Then? Um, wait, we have

602
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: a couple more questions. How do I know when it's

603
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: time to start potty training? Will my toddler give me

604
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: any signs? What are the best methods? So there are

605
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: these kind of events in life, right, and potty training

606
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: is like this. It's like on the barquee and the

607
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: bright lights and stuffing time, um and um. People stress

608
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: out about that. Um. Usually it's actually pretty simple and straightforward.

609
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: But you do have to read the signs. So where

610
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: do the signs your child is ready? Um? Well, there

611
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: are a few. Number one, they don't say no every

612
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 1: time you ask them to do something. They're not oppositional.

613
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: Number two, they have a word for p and poop.

614
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: Number three, they are willing to sit in one place

615
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: for fifteen seconds, you know, because yeah, exactly, UM and

616
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: UM number four, they like to imitate you. And so

617
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: when you're washed dishes, they want to wash dishes, or

618
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 1: when you're picking things up, they want to do it.

619
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: So they're in that imitative phase UM. And that usually

620
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: comes around two two and a half, usually sometimes maybe

621
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: three UM, but usually all when all those things are

622
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: coming together, that's when it's opportune to start teaching them

623
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 1: to have control over their vowels. Because when you think

624
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: about it, here's the challenge with with peeing or pooping

625
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: on the potty. You have to do the up to

626
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 1: opposite things at the same time. You have to squeeze

627
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: your stomach muscles but relax your anus. So it's challenging, right,

628
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: I mean you'll talk um. So anyway, so the so

629
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: and here's the here's the biggest mistakes people make with

630
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 1: toilet training. Number one during the rush because they think

631
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 1: that the earlier they do it, the better, you know,

632
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: boarding school, your child will get into or something. Um.

633
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: The second thing is that they're told they should make

634
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: a big celebration when the baby peas or poops or

635
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: that kind of a thing. And actually, you don't want

636
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: to do that, Yeah, you what you you do. You

637
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 1: can celebrate the fact that they sit there for fifteen seconds,

638
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: so you can even have a timer, and you read

639
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: a book. You know they're sitting there. You tell the story,

640
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: you read a book, you sing a song, whatever it

641
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: is going to be entertaining for your child. And when

642
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: the dinger goes off, yeah, dingers over, here's a sticker,

643
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: good job. And then you do the happiest toddler technique

644
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: is called gossiping, where you pretend to talk to Grahama

645
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: on the phone. Later on Grandma Bobby said blah blah blah,

646
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: and he's listening in Mr Big Ears and feeling like, oh, yeah,

647
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 1: I did such a good job. So you can say

648
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: it directly, but then when you say it again, it

649
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 1: like makes it five times more trusted. When we overhear things,

650
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: we believe it more than what's still directly to us.

651
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: So but here's the thing. You can celebrate that, but

652
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: when they peer poop, do not celebrate that, you know,

653
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 1: a good job. I mean, you'd be positive. But so

654
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: here's the reason why when when your child is upset

655
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: with you and wants to get back at you, they're

656
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 1: going to they'll withhold something that you want, and so

657
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: if it's pine and pooping that you love, you know

658
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: that then you love mommy. Well, I'm not going to

659
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: give it to you. You don't want to get into

660
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: that kind of power struggle. So here is another question

661
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 1: from Laurent. Please excuse me, Laurent if I'm completely butchering

662
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: your name. Um, But Laurent says, our three months old

663
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 1: sleeps in his crib both day and night with the

664
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: help of a swaddler, pacifier, white noise machine, dark room.

665
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: We always lay him down drowsy but awake, and he

666
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 1: falls asleep on his own with the pacifier. He has

667
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,919
Speaker 1: a consistent bedtime routine and is sleeping from seven thirty

668
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: pm to six am with no nighttime feetings most of

669
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: the time, and takes three to four consistent naps per day,

670
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: ranging from one hour to three hours max. Everyone's hating Laurent.

671
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: When is it appropriate time to sleep train in terms

672
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: of getting rid of the swaddle, pascifier, etcetera, so that

673
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 1: he can start to sleep independently at night. Currently, he

674
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: wakes up in fusses three or four times a night,

675
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: and we usually pop the passifire back in to help

676
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: him fall right back asleep. What should we get rid

677
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: of first? We don't want him to become reliant on

678
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: the pass fire, but it's been a really useful tool

679
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: so far during the day as well as night. Okay,

680
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: so a bunch of questions there. Yes, um number one. Um,

681
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: that's pretty good sleep obviously. Um, we all need We

682
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: all have little sleep cues that help us sleep normally.

683
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: You have a pillow, you have a bed, you have

684
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: a comforter. Some people have their special pillow or their

685
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: special sheets. Adam is a sensitive guy, he is, and

686
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,399
Speaker 1: he really likes his pillow. So, um, well, babies are

687
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: the same way. They have their things that really help

688
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: them to sleep, and each one is an individual and

689
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 1: they have you know, however, interesting thing is that if

690
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: you give a little bit more one thing, oftentimes you

691
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: can help them not need the other thing. Um. So

692
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: kind of like making a stew. If you don't have potatoes,

693
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: but you're put in a little bit more carrots and turnips,

694
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 1: it kind of works out. And so um for the

695
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: problem with pacifiers, as they fall out and then you

696
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 1: got to put it back in the middle of the night.

697
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: So the first thing you do is you teach your

698
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: baby to keep it in the mouth longer, and the

699
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 1: way you teach them to do that, this is a

700
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: technique in the Happiest Baby book. It's called reverse psychology.

701
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: So most people to keep the pacifier in there, kind

702
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: of pushing it in and holding it in. Actually you

703
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 1: want to do the opposite. You want to pull it out.

704
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 1: When your baby is sucking on something, and then you

705
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: pretend to take it out, the automatic reaction is to

706
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: suck in more. So you might experience that, like when

707
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 1: your breastfeeding or bottle feeding. They seem to fall asleep

708
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:44,760
Speaker 1: and you go to take your breast out and suddenly

709
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: they decide they wanted more. So if you do pull

710
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: it out, it's kind of like fishing and pulling back

711
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: on the line. And if you do that times they

712
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: start to learn to be able to use their mouth

713
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 1: muscles better and when they feel its falling out, they

714
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 1: start to suck it in more so they can keep

715
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: it in longer. So that's one thing you can do.

716
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: The second thing is to make sure you're using the

717
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: right type of white noise, and for a three month old,

718
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:18,479
Speaker 1: if it's too too monotonous and kind of um honey um,

719
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: it's not as effective as a multi frequency sound like

720
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: a rain on the roof sound, or even a vacuum sound,

721
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. So play around with the type

722
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: of white noise and make sure it's loud enough. It

723
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: should be about seventies seventy, about seventy decibels six to

724
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: seventy decibels by your child's ear, So you don't put

725
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: this sound by the ear, but you you can get

726
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: a little decibel meter on your telephone and measure the

727
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: sound at the level of the baby's ear to see

728
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: that you're not having it too high and too loud.

729
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: And then um. For swaddling, what the Academy Pediatrics recommends

730
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 1: now is that we stop swaddling at two or three

731
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 1: months of age because we don't or when babies can

732
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 1: roll over, we don't them rolling over swaddled, and so um.

733
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: So the best thing is filled a wrong to speak

734
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: to her pediatrician and get her pediatricians advice. Um. What's

735
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: hard is that a lot of babies do well with swaddle,

736
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: need the swaddling for four or five months, even six months,

737
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: and and yet you don't want them rolling over swaddle,

738
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: So it becomes a real dilemma for parents. It's one

739
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 1: of the reasons that we made snow is because once

740
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: they're secured in place, they can't roll over. And then

741
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: the snow sleep sack that you were talking about. And

742
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: actually now we have a swaddled blanket called Sleepy, which

743
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: is the same sack, except it doesn't have the wings

744
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: that attached to the bed and it's an award winning swaddle.

745
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 1: We caught the five seconds swaddle because literally boom five

746
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: seconds and it's done so um. So what happens with

747
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: that swaddle is that their little armholes and so um.

748
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: When your baby gets to be four or five months,

749
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 1: you can let one arm out, well, that's exactly what

750
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: you did with Albie. One arm out, then let the

751
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: second arm out, and so you wean them off of

752
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: the swaddling gradually. The white noise should be at least

753
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: for the first year and really more than that. A

754
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: lot of adults sleep with white We do every night.

755
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: And sometimes I get in a fight without him about

756
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: it because my husband is he has his pillow and

757
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: he has his white noise. He's exactly like my son.

758
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: My son has his thumb and he has the white noise. Um.

759
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: He's a big thumb sucker, which by the way, when

760
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: does that? Like, I don't care like he it's been

761
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: a blessing because we never gave him a pacifier. Okay,

762
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: he found and he had his thumb. Um. He doesn't

763
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: suck it at all during the day. It's just when

764
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: he knows it's naptime and I pick him up and

765
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: he puts his thumb in his mouth and puts his

766
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 1: head on my shoulder And he doesn't do it throughout

767
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: the night unless he wakes himself up. Then he sucks

768
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,800
Speaker 1: as them to put him back to sleep, which is okay,

769
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: good best. Yes, he's self sufficient that way. And that

770
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 1: kind of gets the Lam's question as well, which is like,

771
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: when do I stop the pacifier? Yeah, So, in general,

772
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: we wean kids off the past for meaning we take

773
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: it away, usually around six months or so. In the

774
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: deal world, you'll try to do that, however, and with

775
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: passifiers you don't want to start them until the breastfeeding

776
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 1: is going really well, So we usually like to wait

777
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: a week or two weeks at the most before we

778
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: use the passifier, right, which doesn't happen for most kids,

779
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: but occasionally it's really a problem. Same thing for bottles.

780
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: You'd like to start a bottle at a week or

781
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: two weeks, but not really before that because of you

782
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,879
Speaker 1: don't want the confusion child. Now here's the interesting thing

783
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: about thumb sucking and passifier sucking, which it's really weird.

784
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: This is not not written. I'm I haven't seen it

785
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: written anywhere, but it's been my experience that it runs

786
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: in families. And if the mother or father or a

787
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: couple of the siblings of the mother or father really

788
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: loved sucking their thumb or a pacifier, or how a

789
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: teddy bear or security blanket that they really glombed onto,

790
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,399
Speaker 1: then there's a high likelihood that your baby is going

791
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 1: to love that as well. Now, you'd much rather have

792
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: your child sucking a pacifier than sucking the thumb, which

793
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: sounds odd because the thumb is always there. So it's like, well,

794
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: they're going to find there's thumb more easily to quit,

795
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 1: but to quit it, yeah, you don't have control over that.

796
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: It's much harder to quit, and it causes much bigger

797
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,919
Speaker 1: changes to the palate and the and the teeth, so

798
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 1: it's much more likely to cause you know, significant orthodontic

799
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: issues later on. Once they're doing the thumb. It's kind

800
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 1: of very hard to get them to stop it. So

801
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 1: I if I see kids starting to use thumbs a lot,

802
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: I really try to kind of keep up with the

803
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 1: pacifier so that they kind of stick with the pacifier

804
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 1: rather than going to their thumbs. Um. And here's the

805
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 1: thing about pacifiers. If you look at people in other cultures,

806
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: more basic cultures, they're nursing their babies till three or

807
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 1: four years of age. Sucking is a normal thing for

808
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: three year old and a four year old. So it's

809
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: no sweat, it's not a big deal. If I don't

810
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: want kids walking around all day long, they've got the

811
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 1: past seed plugged in. But if you only use it

812
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 1: when you're sleeping or when you're really upset or sick,

813
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 1: it's it's a friend, and so it's not a bad thing.

814
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: And then by you know, three or four years of age,

815
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: it's much easier for them to give that up. Right. UM,

816
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: I think this is our last question. My child refuses

817
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: to sleep in her own bed, What are some tips

818
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: for getting her to sleep on her own? So this

819
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: is really what the Happiest Baby guide to great sleep.

820
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: You know, birth to five years um is one of

821
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: the things that talks about so if your child wants

822
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 1: sleep in bed, meaning that you put her in bed

823
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: and she keeps coming to your room, or she want

824
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: to let you know every time you try to leave

825
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: the room, Mommy, I need I need a glass of water,

826
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 1: I need a kids, I need a pp I need

827
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: you know, I mean they call it curtain calls familiar

828
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 1: to you coming for us around the corner. For sure?

829
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 1: Um so, because ultimately think about it this way. Who

830
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 1: is to sleep by themselves and a dark room all

831
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: alone when the party is happening in the other room.

832
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah right at a certain point. Yeah so okay, fair enough.

833
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: But kids don't want to There was a time in

834
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: your life when you didn't want to miss the part, no,

835
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 1: thank you? So um So. Parents are taught you should

836
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 1: let your child cry it out, and that is a

837
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: tough love way, and it can work, but it can

838
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 1: totally backfire and your kids starts vomiting and screaming and

839
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,280
Speaker 1: ripping the room apart. It can be a real travail.

840
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,720
Speaker 1: So there's a technique in the Sleep book called twinkle

841
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: interrupt us and it's a very very effective, like or

842
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 1: so effective technique to get a child over eighteen months

843
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: to two three four years of age two, stop the

844
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: fight and give up and just sleep in their own bed.

845
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: And there are a couple of principles involved in this.

846
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: First is the Happiest Toddler technique, which is called patient stretching.

847
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: So the Happiest Toddler book and DVD t or streaming

848
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: video teach how do you teach patients to a one

849
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 1: year old? And you do it kind of the opposite

850
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: way that you think you should do it. In other words,

851
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: we think that we say, you know, your child comes

852
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: to you and says, mommy, mommy, do this, and you're

853
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: doing something else and you say, honey, wait one second,

854
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: mommy is gonna be right with you. Uh, that's not

855
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: what you do. You do the opposite. You immediately go

856
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: to your child, Oh, show mommy what you have, and

857
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: just as they start to show it to you in

858
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 1: that second, then you go, oh, honey, wait one second.

859
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: One one second, sweeter one second. You turn away for

860
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 1: like three seconds, pretend to do something, to turn your back,

861
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 1: pretend to and they've already moved on. No, no, no

862
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,919
Speaker 1: they haven't. They're waiting because your finger is up saying

863
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 1: one second, one second. After three seconds or five seconds,

864
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: you turn back to then and go good waiting, sweetheart,

865
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 1: Show mommy what you have. Wow, so you do that?

866
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 1: Want to do this for me? No pay? You do

867
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 1: that five or six times a day for different things. Cracker, mommy, cracker, Okay,

868
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 1: sweat er, here's your cracker. Oh wait one second, one second,

869
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 1: over and over again. And then you increase it from

870
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: three seconds to five to ten, to fifteen to thirty.

871
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 1: And then here's the trick. Once they're waiting thirty seconds,

872
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: sometimes you only make them wait three seconds. In other words,

873
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: they're expecting to wait longer. Oh my god. Sometimes I

874
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: don't even have to wait that long. It's like, this

875
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: is so cool. It's like what they do to us

876
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 1: with slot machines. Every once in a while you suddenly win,

877
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: and then you keep thinking I'm gonna win next time,

878
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 1: and then you know. So you teach patients that way.

879
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: You do that for like a week, to teach your

880
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: child to when you go one second, one second, they

881
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 1: know they're going to get what they want, but they

882
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: do have to wait a little bit. Then you have

883
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: a nighttime routine, reading a book and stuff like that.

884
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: Then you have a little teddy bear or a blanket

885
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: and you have white noise in the room. You need

886
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: all of those ingredients for a week. Then when you

887
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: put them to bed and you ring read the five

888
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: story Worries in the middle of the sixth story, you

889
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,879
Speaker 1: go and then the little boy bunny Rabbit said, oh, honey,

890
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: wait one second, one second, tweeter one second. Mommy just

891
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: has to go see daddy. Or if your child won't

892
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: let you leave the room, I just have to go

893
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: on the other side. I just have one thing over

894
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: there on the table, and you go there for five

895
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: seconds and come back and snuggle up and start reading again.

896
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 1: And then a minute later, oh, one more second, one

897
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 1: more second. And after two or three nights, you built

898
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: that up to where you're going out for a minute

899
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: or two minutes and you say, here, hold onto your

900
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 1: teddy bear, Mommy's going to be right back, and they're

901
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: clutching the teddy bear, the white noises on, they're cuddled

902
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: up in bed, and usually by the time they're waiting

903
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: two minutes, they just fall asleep on their own. And um, really,

904
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 1: it's really cool because it's not screaming, it's not fighting.

905
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 1: They feel like they're getting what they want. I can't

906
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 1: I'm not I have to do that because I'm like, no,

907
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: I cannot. I'm not good with him crying. Yeah, I

908
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 1: just not well, you know something, Um, this is a

909
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: kind of a good trick. Sometimes it doesn't work, and

910
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 1: you do have to kind of decide what you're gonna do,

911
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: but you don't have to cry it out. Sometimes you'll

912
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 1: put a little bed next to your bed, you know,

913
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 1: and say, honey, honey, this is mommy daddy's bed, and

914
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: this is your bed right next to right. So you

915
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: can sleep there on the floor and you're cute, cuddly

916
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 1: mattress and be right next to mommy and daddy. Or

917
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 1: you can sleep in the room with your child and

918
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: then gradually move your bed further and further away. I mean,

919
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: there are different techniques described in the book. But I

920
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: love Twinkle interrupt this because it works so well and

921
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 1: it and it's teaching your child a good thing, which

922
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: is more patient. No one did that Twinkle interrupt. This

923
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: was not given to me as a child. This was

924
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: so informative. Again, we could talk for like a hundred

925
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 1: thousand hours, and I hope you guys found this to

926
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:53,280
Speaker 1: be like just so informative. The books are incredible. The DVD,

927
00:48:53,680 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: the streaming video. The streaming video for the five s

928
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: is was a game changer for us. And so is

929
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 1: this new. Thanks and that's all on Happiest Baby dot com. Oh, actually,

930
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 1: you know what we're doing with snoop. We've started this year.

931
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 1: We're renting Snooze to corporations. So if you have a

932
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: big if you work for a big company, tell your

933
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 1: benefits department. So Hulu, Activision, Snap, Google, Facebook, WelCom here

934
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: they all now give it as a free rental to

935
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 1: their employees to say we love you, we want to

936
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: take care of you, want to get works. Wow, that

937
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: is that's brilliant. Thank you so much for taking the time.

938
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you guys, love you now. Thank you

939
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening to Katie's Crib. And be

940
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 1: sure to check out Shonda land dot com where you

941
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,879
Speaker 1: can find every episode of Katie's Crib. And we've got

942
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: crib notes for each episode where you can find out

943
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 1: more about our guests and links to some of the

944
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 1: resources we talked about on the podcast. And last but

945
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 1: not least, subscribe. We're on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher basically

946
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: like wherever you at your podcasts want