WEBVTT - Another Brick in the Chest: Thérèse Humbert 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:05.240 Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio Zaren Elizabeth. 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:08.840 So good to see you, to see you too. I'm good. 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:10.520 How are you? How are you? 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:11.920 I'm fine, white ass. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:12.559 How's your heart? 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:14.040 He's good, I'm fine. Good. 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:15.640 Listen, you know what's ridiculous? 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:18.200 I do? But you're asking? 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:19.040 Thank you? 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.599 All right? So I have this back and forth idea 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:24.000 in my head like would it be fun to run 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.080 down the aisle of a plane naked or not? You know? 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.159 Cause I yeah, I say not. It was just like 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.000 it's like a nightmare people have, right, like oh, I'm 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:33.159 naked in my class or whatever. And I'm like, they 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:35.520 imagine the freedom of knowing you've run naked at thirty 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:37.800 six thousand and fifty thousand feet. I mean that's just 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:39.319 like I don't want to join the mile high club, 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:41.680 but I would like to streak club, right whatever that is, 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.240 Like I've streaked at fifty thousand feet? 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:44.720 Is fifty thousand? 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:46.280 These days a lot of plane gets up to fifty 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.680 thousand foot? Yeah, But anyway, my point is some dude 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.000 in Australia went and did it. Oh he did, yeah, 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.080 he went and he ran down the aisle of a plane, 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:54.880 right and then he had to be tackled by other 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.080 passengers and he was like, you know, bear is the 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.960 day he was born and he was Australian, so like 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:01.920 good eye on you, right, But at the same time, 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.160 like it made me realize that my dream was a shallow, fleeting, 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.080 silly thing, and that how terrible would be if I 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.119 ever did something like I let alone, like the horror 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.520 other people are experiencing because they're not part of it. 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:14.440 For me, I'm just like I want to I would 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:16.360 be on the plane by myself. I don't really, it's 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:18.120 not about they're not part of it. But he was like, 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:19.760 they're very much part of it. They were like, we 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.759 do not exclude us from this narrative, and then they 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:24.640 like forced him down and then they forced the plane down. 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:26.720 It's like a whole thing. Right. Imagine if you like 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.120 missed like a wedding because like some jerk like me 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.759 decided to strip down and run up and down. It's 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:32.200 like for what? 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:33.319 Man? For what? 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:35.800 So you'd be like, I'm a rebel, Well not. 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:38.080 Like that, but yeah, so is that ridiculous? 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:41.440 That is ridiculous? There you go, absolutely ridiculous. Let me 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:43.039 know when you decide to do that. 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.880 No, I'm not going to now I've realized how silly 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.520 my adolescent dream that I've thought about for since back then. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.040 I'm not like thinking about this last week. 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:52.400 Sure you know what else is ridiculous? 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:54.120 No, but I'm here to hear about it. 0:01:54.200 --> 0:02:14.720 Bricks bricks. 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:21.280 This is ridiculous crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:25.400 heists and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:30.120 and one hundred percent ridiculous. You damn right, that is, 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:33.800 I am damn right. You know how much I love 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.880 to mess up the pronunciation of French names and words. Yes, 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:41.120 like I live for it, call it saren as much 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.000 as I makes me feel alive. 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:47.919 You're very good at it, though, I think when you're 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:50.080 good at something like that, you should be able to know. 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.639 I should I shouldn't hide my light under a. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:54.320 Bushel, No, burn down that bushel. 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:58.040 Well, you know something is you like to say? Buckle up, Buttercup, 0:02:58.560 --> 0:02:59.720 I'm about to wreck shop. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:00.280 Really. 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:05.320 Oh yeah, you have Toddler and a glass factory. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.880 Zaren on an airplane. I have for you a Swindler, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:16.960 a magnificent one. A gal for the ages. Her name Terrace. 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:19.000 Umbert terrase Umbad. 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:23.560 It looks like a humber Yeah, teres English. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.920 It doesn't look nearly as cool as it sounds in French. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:31.320 She was born in a little town outside of Toulouse, France. 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.800 So Humbert Humbert's grandmother born outside. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.800 Of in eighteen fifty six. 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.280 We're going back in totally. 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:44.520 Her dad was how do you say, unconventional, A real character. 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.200 He fancied himself an alchemist. 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.080 Okay, I'm already on. 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:54.440 Which it is just fantastic. I don't mean enough people 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.360 who introduce themselves as alchemist. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:57.840 This is my husband. He's an alchemist. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:03.600 I just don't run in like thenk. But it's definitely 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:04.760 a way to support a family. 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:08.120 You're making gold, I mean you're literally making goals. 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:13.800 But he said he had a line on some real cash. Yeah. 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:17.400 He would tell any and everyone about how he was 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.680 descended from nobility. Okay, and oh, by the way, he 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:25.720 had a hidden inheritance. Oh those are the best. Guess 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:28.160 my favorite kind of inheritance, the hidden. 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.960 And overseas ideally, like maybe in a castle. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:36.240 There's this book La Terras, The Greatest Scandal of the Century. 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:41.040 It's by a woman named Hillary Spurling. Later, yes, take notes. 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:44.159 So in it, she writes about how the neighbors would 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:48.320 see him running through their fields during thunderstorms, I guess 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.320 as part of his alchemy. And he'd be like carrying 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.400 a wand and yelling about how he could control the weather, 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:57.479 because you know, that's totally a thing, like you can't. 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.880 People can and do control the weather for years and 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:03.120 earth israt and I never paid attention in school. I 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:06.760 do my own research, Sarah. So when he wasn't out 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:10.080 there making it rain, he was regaling folks with the 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.280 stories that he had about his you know, secret nobility. 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.120 I think he was also be able to find water. 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:22.520 It's like that was Terrace's married name, her maiden name, Ornyak. 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.760 So her dad was like, my last name isn't really. 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.440 Ornyak, Oh, throw a curve ball in this. 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:35.159 It's Dorinak, like the apostrophe of the or of the 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:37.880 rather than just it. It makes a difference. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.080 Totally mean he's landed right, Yeah, so he would. 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.279 He would also confess that while he lived in that 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:46.440 cottage over there, that wasn't really his house. No, he 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.480 lived in a castle not too far from where they were. 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:50.560 You just can't see it. From you. 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:53.039 I can't see it. And he said, well, I got 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.599 into it with my parents and they threw me out, 0:05:56.120 --> 0:06:00.400 but they like put a caveat on it. So his 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:05.560 parents said, when when you finally die, which is like, yeah, 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.920 any kids that you have are going to inherit everything. 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.680 Oh, they're just like, we're skipping you. Yeah, you've been 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:15.000 written out exactly right. 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:17.520 And so the kids, they're going to get the chateau 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:23.080 like super fancy want of fun, doesn't it cold? I 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:26.200 feel like it's toss a lot to heat his chateau. 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:28.040 I think about these things. 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:29.640 You should own one. 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:33.960 And I should visit exactly uh. And then they're not 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:37.880 only the titles and the chateau. Money's aron So that's 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.400 such fun too. Yeah. I like that. 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.240 This is all good fun stuff so far. 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:45.080 So these are the wild fortunes of the dying Yack, 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:48.240 and it's like, you're doing great, by the way, thank 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:52.239 you so much. So to prove this to people, he'd 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:55.800 show everyone this locked chest that he had in the 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.080 house class and that was proof of the story, because 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:02.560 all the documentation necessary to replace the family to their 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:06.000 former and intended glory, it was all in the chest. 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.480 The chest could only be opened upon his death. 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.320 He slapped the top of it, you know, me family secret. 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.760 His baby's holding untold wealth paper for Miles oh Man. 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:21.320 And it will only be opened by his death, like 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:23.440 his death, like unlock some cosmic seal. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:27.680 The light comes out until then, while he's still walking 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.760 this earth. It's just something to be admired, you know. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.240 It's a symbol of wonderful things. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:34.040 To enjoy it for what it is exactly. 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.680 And now Terrace, she believed all of this, well, Dad, 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.080 she borrowed her friend's jewelry, like all these people that 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:43.880 she knew, and she'd put it all on at once 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:47.200 and like sworn around and pretend to be like preparing 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:47.840 to be rich. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.360 Now when you say borrowed, do they know she's borrowing? 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.160 It is the actual bar. 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.160 Everybody pool your stuff. 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:55.680 And let her do your royalty. 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.520 Thing necklaces and I'll put it on and I'll just 0:07:57.560 --> 0:07:58.760 this is what it's going to feel like. 0:07:58.840 --> 0:07:59.920 Don't I look great? Guys? 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:03.600 Yeah? And then her dad died. Oh look at that January. 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:06.239 Oh we all got to go sometimes. He went eighteen 0:08:06.400 --> 0:08:07.000 seventy four. 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:08.160 Great time to go for her. 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:09.640 She's eighteen years old. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.560 Perfect, Look at that legal, and now it. 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.640 Was time she would get her rightful inheritance and bid 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:17.840 her simple life goodbye. 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:19.120 I bet she's practiced this moment. 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:23.360 Yeah, so the time came to open the chest. Yes, 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:27.680 fuild the treasure, the will and testaments and documents and 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:32.600 the parchments and such. Everyone gathers to open it. They 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:38.240 find that it contains just one thing, a brick, just 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:38.920 a brick. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:41.000 Just one break a brick, just to give it some way, 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:43.000 to give it some hef is it even tape down 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:44.120 so it doesn't slap. 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:48.920 Around rattling around this She is humiliated. So like, not 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:52.280 only was everything a lie and she's not some like comtesses, 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:54.800 but now she had to get a job. 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.080 And the hell out of town because everybody knows her 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:58.120 and she's. 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:01.880 Got three younger siblings to take care of. So she 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.800 got a job as a washer woman. She got hired 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:05.960 by her half aunt. 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:08.160 Oh, I guess only better than not doing leather tanning. 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:12.280 Yeah, so I'm guessing that her half aunt would be 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:13.600 her dad's half sister. 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.120 I'm not taking a guess on this, I trust you, though, But. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.800 This lady, the half aunt or just half a person, 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:22.520 like she's just from the waist up, half woman, half aunt, 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:27.679 like bisected from the oh that way, yeah, so like 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.240 you like, and she puts like. 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:30.440 You see her from one side. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.360 She looks like flexiglass, so you can see the brain 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:35.280 and the organs. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:37.400 You did go to a veterinary school, I could you 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.880 just jumped out? I was like, you went to a 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.400 veterinary college. No, I really got a glass and you 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.120 can see inside. You jumped out, but you can't hide 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:44.480 it now. 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:48.440 I went to weather controlling. So anyway, so the half 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:53.040 aunt just a half person. She was married even though 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.880 she was he was into it. 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.439 Hopefully she was one and a half people, just a balance. 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:03.040 Leg bouncing around, but plexiglass. Anyway, it was like the 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:10.000 it was like the November rain video exactly, you know. Okay, 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:14.640 So anyway, she's married to this guy, Gustave Umbert, the 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:18.040 mayor of Toulouse. Right, he's a big timer. 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:19.120 Yeah sure, why not. 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:22.839 So while she's like washing their toonies, she meets their 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:27.800 son like Umbert yeah Frederick. So if you do the math, 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.880 you see that this is her cousin. She was like 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:34.400 super supportive of him. She meets him like midw washing, 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.800 like oh hey, what's up She just gassed him up 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.400 and fed his ego. And she told him reach for 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:46.240 the stars because you'll get there and you're an awesome guy. Yeah, baby, 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:51.240 Like she rubs his shoulders, He's like yeah. And so 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.120 while she's making him. 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:57.160 He's like George W. Bush, like harassing angela merkle at 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.440 a world. 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.040 So she's making him feel great about himself. 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:05.199 That's important, but. 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:08.120 She also made him feel great about her. That's also important, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:12.520 telling him about how she had been so helpful to 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.439 this old lady named Madame de Mariotte. 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:21.000 Madame, I make it sound worse. I made you're good horrible. 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:25.760 So Madame de Mariotte, she'd taken a shine to terrace 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:30.840 and as thanks for her kindness, bequeathed her a chateau. 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.000 Oh not a second brick, maybe some. 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:39.160 More chateau, this large estate, massive fortune. So he was 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:39.800 so nice. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:44.000 Wait a minute, how nice? Was like Howard Hughes, like, 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.400 this guy helped me one time, and I'm giving a million. 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:49.160 So nice. She's nice to Frederick. She's like, let me 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:50.240 rub your shoulders. 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:53.839 Exactly. I remember, so awesome. I saw it. 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.559 I did this to some lady and she was, thank you. 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.120 So much, touching everything on own. 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:03.360 This this estate is bigger than anyone could ever imagine. 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:04.559 It's like infinity. 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.720 She doesn't have any like family around to protect her 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:08.680 from this charlatan. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:14.760 Well it's apparently not. So she's telling him this like 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.840 while she's rubbing his toes, and she's like, you know, 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.960 it's really like, Oh, it's not a big deal. I 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:21.880 mean I never tell anyone this. Let's just keep it 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:22.439 between us. 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.600 Oh, this is just a story she's telling, just homie. Yes, okay, 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.000 so she. 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.160 Tells them when I turned twenty one, it's all going 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:30.760 to be mine. 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.440 Like she's gone back to her original story. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.400 This is the best trust fun ever and since it 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.000 really didn't matter to her, and since Frederick was such 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:42.560 a radical, battical dude, she planned to just give it 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:47.320 to him when she got it. Half daddy, Yeah, she's 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:52.600 totally turning him out. So anyway, Frederick was maybe not 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:56.400 the sharpest tool in the chateau shed. He bought the 0:12:56.400 --> 0:13:00.560 whole story, like paid for it too. Basically, he's like, 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.120 so you're super nice to everybody. This lady's going to 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.280 give you the biggest fortune ever, and you just want 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.360 me to have it because I'm amazing. You're right, I'm amazing. 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:10.400 He's like, I could say, that's all makes sense. Yes, 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:14.679 you seem charming all I'm doe total sense. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.840 So of course this woman he didn't know well, but 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:20.560 also happened to be his cousin who was washing his 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:24.800 family's closed down up creek really about to be super rich. 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.200 As a measure of thanks for this, he proposed to 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:31.840 her and asked for her hand in marriage. 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:36.880 You have a really interesting way of telling these people's motivations, so. 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.920 He wanted to lock this in before she changes. And, 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:43.000 as you can probably guess, his dad, the mayor, was 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:43.760 not about it. 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:47.160 He said no, no, no, He's like, there is no shut. 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.960 Did you don't you remember what happened to her crazy dad? 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.240 Remember when that guy tried to sell you the magic beans. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:57.080 He's like, but we control the weather, dad, so no worries. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.960 They ran off to Paris, and it looked that no 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.360 one understood their love and her bank account. 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.200 Could you imagine being the father of this boy I 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.400 just don't even know. Eighteen nineteen years in my life 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:09.840 dedicated to this idiot. 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:13.400 Yeah, he's like my wife, half a woman, my son 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:18.280 half a brain. So but things worked out for them 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:21.320 in Paris. Oh, fred took the bar, became a lawyer. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.840 Of course, why not? Sure, he seems real sharp. 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:28.240 They lived this lovely, quiet life, and Freddie soon realized, 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:32.160 I don't think there is a Madame de Mariotte. No, 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:32.920 I just don't. 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:34.360 The lawyer figured this out on his own. 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.080 I don't think there's a chateau. There's no inheritance. But 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.600 you know what, by this time, too late loved her. 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:42.280 He's like, soul, I love my lying wife. 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.920 Yeah. So, and he had a good job, and like 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:45.840 they don't. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.960 Need the money. They live in Paris. I don't think 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:48.840 she could give up crime. 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.360 She's like, you know, my wife, like she's prone to 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:55.600 flights of fancy, goofy dad, you know if she tells 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.600 a tall tale, so beet, Yeah, all the more charming. 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:03.240 But then she came to him with a proposition. She's like, 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.880 remember remember how he met, and remember how you totally 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.120 fell from my story about the chateau and all that. 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.040 How about we try that on someone else. 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:13.160 Why. 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:16.680 She's like, let's take you from victim to accomplish. Let's 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.360 move let's move you up the ranks. So he's like, 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.360 we could use a fake chateau. Let's call it the 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.280 Chateau de Mark cooked my God, as collateral for a 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.160 bank loan. Let's do that, and then we can use 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.160 that loan to move into an actual chateau. Like, let's 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:36.280 get that castle life going. Frederick, not realizing that she 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.440 was kind of insulting his intelligence, decided to go with 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:41.720 it because he wanted a chateau one way or the other. 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:44.720 I'm worried about this boy. 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:50.120 Well before long, mister and missus Frederic Umbert or monsieur 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.760 and Madame Frederic Umbert, you say so, sure, they moved 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:55.680 into an actual castle of their own. 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:57.880 I'm happy for them, and that lifted up. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.800 They wore the best clothes, the aid at all the 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:04.000 best restaurants. They had like primo seats in the theater, 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:05.400 all on credit. 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:06.840 I hope their castle has a mote. 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.120 You want to know what's more important than throwing away 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:11.320 money at a strip club? What is credit? 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:12.360 It is? 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.680 So now, when you're getting credit based on badass chateau, 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.320 it's only natural for the creditors to want to see 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.800 this chateau, especially because like no one had ever heard 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:23.040 of it. 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:24.600 You kind of want a certified assets. 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:26.800 It was supposed to be. Like in the southwest of France, 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.720 like to Lose. There was one contractor who was owed 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.560 money by them, and he's out on vacation near where 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:36.560 the chateau is supposed to be. So he asks all over, 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:37.560 no one's. 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:37.760 Heard of it. 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.920 So word starts to spread among the bankers and the 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.960 shopkeepers and such who had loan money and like sold 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:48.360 goods on credit. They're going to the cops. They're like 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:51.920 they want to press criminal charges because they realized there's 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:56.040 no chateau. So Frederick, he's making good money, but not 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.960 chateau money, Like he couldn't pay everything back. So he 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:02.240 goes to his dad. He had moved on from being 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.520 the mayor of to Lose and at this point he's 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.760 the Minister of Justice for the whole country. What Yeah, 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:12.040 So fred tells his dad everything, all the parts of 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.120 the cons and his dad, who's this like rising star. 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.440 He doesn't want to be disgraced, and you know. 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.280 A bunch Yeah, everyone realize he has a failed son. 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.800 He was an idiot, like he paid off the debt. Yeah, 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.560 and that way they avoid arrest, bills get paid. 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:28.720 Remember I was saying about being the father of the son. 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:33.200 Exactly, but terrase. She noticed something, just a little bit 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.280 of money seemed to calm the creditors down, and when 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:39.360 they saw their accounts paid off, they offered more loans. 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.719 What yeah, funny, though, let's do that again. Was she reckoned? 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.480 Like if she and her husband can come up with 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.480 another story and made the creditors anticipate a payday at 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:50.200 some point, they might as well give it a shot 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:51.720 round two. 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:52.520 Wow. 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:56.520 So she starts spreading a rumor that she has received 0:17:56.640 --> 0:18:01.560 a crazy inheritance and it was totally unexpected, unusual, and 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:05.640 you know remember how she got Frederick initially like, oh 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.000 I'm so kind. Well one more time she told people that. 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:11.679 A couple years back in eighteen seventy nine, she was 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:15.200 riding on the centur Railway, small railway that kind of 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:17.840 ran a circle around the city of Parish. Cool, just 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.680 minding her own Suddenly she hears groans from the next compartment. 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:25.639 She's like, hubb hub, No more like nine one one, 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.480 what's your emergency? So she tried the door and it 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.240 was locked. She goes out the window of the train 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:34.320 on her in her compartment and like Shimmy's along the 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.240 outside of the train. Tom cruise style. 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:39.000 Does she telling this story? Are you telling me the story? 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.000 Telling the story? I'm not making this. This is what 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:44.399 she told people. And then she popped in the window 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.800 of the neighboring compartment and found a man there having 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:50.120 a heart attack, and like, she always carried a defibrillator 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:53.240 on her, so she started compression. Except the pads knows Zarin, 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:57.600 that is historically a nachronus. She revived the man with 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:01.119 some smelling salts that she carried on her, which leads 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.280 me to believe that he was not actually having a 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:03.840 heart attack. 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:05.000 Yeah, I don't think yes. 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:07.560 And of course this is if you believe he exists 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:08.280 in the first place. 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:09.000 That was where I was at. 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.359 Yeah. So, according to her story, the man came to 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:15.440 introduced himself. He's like, hello, I am handsome American millionaire 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:19.199 Robert Henry Crawford. I cannot thank you enough for saving 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.320 my life. I'd like to reward you at some point 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:23.199 in the future, and I will do so in a 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:29.000 convoluted manner. And so she told people like she's like, 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.359 guess what this is now that she's ready to do 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.440 another con Hey, everybody, I just got a letter from 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:37.080 the USA. Would you look at that. And this letter 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:40.080 said that Crawford had died and made her a beneficiary of. 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:41.240