Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio Zaren Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: So good to see you, to see you too. I'm good.
Speaker 2: How are you? How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm fine, white ass.
Speaker 2: How's your heart?
Speaker 3: He's good, I'm fine. Good.
Speaker 2: Listen, you know what's ridiculous?
Speaker 3: I do? But you're asking?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 3: All right? So I have this back and forth idea
Speaker 3: in my head like would it be fun to run
Speaker 3: down the aisle of a plane naked or not? You know?
Speaker 3: Cause I yeah, I say not. It was just like
Speaker 3: it's like a nightmare people have, right, like oh, I'm
Speaker 3: naked in my class or whatever. And I'm like, they
Speaker 3: imagine the freedom of knowing you've run naked at thirty
Speaker 3: six thousand and fifty thousand feet. I mean that's just
Speaker 3: like I don't want to join the mile high club,
Speaker 3: but I would like to streak club, right whatever that is,
Speaker 3: Like I've streaked at fifty thousand feet?
Speaker 2: Is fifty thousand?
Speaker 3: These days a lot of plane gets up to fifty
Speaker 3: thousand foot? Yeah, But anyway, my point is some dude
Speaker 3: in Australia went and did it. Oh he did, yeah,
Speaker 3: he went and he ran down the aisle of a plane,
Speaker 3: right and then he had to be tackled by other
Speaker 3: passengers and he was like, you know, bear is the
Speaker 3: day he was born and he was Australian, so like
Speaker 3: good eye on you, right, But at the same time,
Speaker 3: like it made me realize that my dream was a shallow, fleeting,
Speaker 3: silly thing, and that how terrible would be if I
Speaker 3: ever did something like I let alone, like the horror
Speaker 3: other people are experiencing because they're not part of it.
Speaker 3: For me, I'm just like I want to I would
Speaker 3: be on the plane by myself. I don't really, it's
Speaker 3: not about they're not part of it. But he was like,
Speaker 3: they're very much part of it. They were like, we
Speaker 3: do not exclude us from this narrative, and then they
Speaker 3: like forced him down and then they forced the plane down.
Speaker 3: It's like a whole thing. Right. Imagine if you like
Speaker 3: missed like a wedding because like some jerk like me
Speaker 3: decided to strip down and run up and down. It's
Speaker 3: like for what?
Speaker 4: Man? For what?
Speaker 2: So you'd be like, I'm a rebel, Well not.
Speaker 3: Like that, but yeah, so is that ridiculous?
Speaker 2: That is ridiculous? There you go, absolutely ridiculous. Let me
Speaker 2: know when you decide to do that.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not going to now I've realized how silly
Speaker 3: my adolescent dream that I've thought about for since back then.
Speaker 3: I'm not like thinking about this last week.
Speaker 2: Sure you know what else is ridiculous?
Speaker 3: No, but I'm here to hear about it.
Speaker 5: Bricks bricks.
Speaker 2: This is ridiculous crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers,
Speaker 2: heists and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free
Speaker 2: and one hundred percent ridiculous. You damn right, that is,
Speaker 2: I am damn right. You know how much I love
Speaker 2: to mess up the pronunciation of French names and words. Yes,
Speaker 2: like I live for it, call it saren as much
Speaker 2: as I makes me feel alive.
Speaker 3: You're very good at it, though, I think when you're
Speaker 3: good at something like that, you should be able to know.
Speaker 2: I should I shouldn't hide my light under a.
Speaker 3: Bushel, No, burn down that bushel.
Speaker 2: Well, you know something is you like to say? Buckle up, Buttercup,
Speaker 2: I'm about to wreck shop.
Speaker 4: Really.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you have Toddler and a glass factory.
Speaker 2: Zaren on an airplane. I have for you a Swindler,
Speaker 2: a magnificent one. A gal for the ages. Her name Terrace.
Speaker 3: Umbert terrase Umbad.
Speaker 2: It looks like a humber Yeah, teres English.
Speaker 3: It doesn't look nearly as cool as it sounds in French.
Speaker 2: She was born in a little town outside of Toulouse, France.
Speaker 3: So Humbert Humbert's grandmother born outside.
Speaker 2: Of in eighteen fifty six.
Speaker 3: We're going back in totally.
Speaker 2: Her dad was how do you say, unconventional, A real character.
Speaker 2: He fancied himself an alchemist.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm already on.
Speaker 2: Which it is just fantastic. I don't mean enough people
Speaker 2: who introduce themselves as alchemist.
Speaker 3: This is my husband. He's an alchemist.
Speaker 2: I just don't run in like thenk. But it's definitely
Speaker 2: a way to support a family.
Speaker 3: You're making gold, I mean you're literally making goals.
Speaker 2: But he said he had a line on some real cash. Yeah.
Speaker 2: He would tell any and everyone about how he was
Speaker 2: descended from nobility. Okay, and oh, by the way, he
Speaker 2: had a hidden inheritance. Oh those are the best. Guess
Speaker 2: my favorite kind of inheritance, the hidden.
Speaker 3: And overseas ideally, like maybe in a castle.
Speaker 2: There's this book La Terras, The Greatest Scandal of the Century.
Speaker 2: It's by a woman named Hillary Spurling. Later, yes, take notes.
Speaker 2: So in it, she writes about how the neighbors would
Speaker 2: see him running through their fields during thunderstorms, I guess
Speaker 2: as part of his alchemy. And he'd be like carrying
Speaker 2: a wand and yelling about how he could control the weather,
Speaker 2: because you know, that's totally a thing, like you can't.
Speaker 2: People can and do control the weather for years and
Speaker 2: earth israt and I never paid attention in school. I
Speaker 2: do my own research, Sarah. So when he wasn't out
Speaker 2: there making it rain, he was regaling folks with the
Speaker 2: stories that he had about his you know, secret nobility.
Speaker 3: I think he was also be able to find water.
Speaker 2: It's like that was Terrace's married name, her maiden name, Ornyak.
Speaker 2: So her dad was like, my last name isn't really.
Speaker 3: Ornyak, Oh, throw a curve ball in this.
Speaker 2: It's Dorinak, like the apostrophe of the or of the
Speaker 2: rather than just it. It makes a difference.
Speaker 3: Totally mean he's landed right, Yeah, so he would.
Speaker 2: He would also confess that while he lived in that
Speaker 2: cottage over there, that wasn't really his house. No, he
Speaker 2: lived in a castle not too far from where they were.
Speaker 3: You just can't see it. From you.
Speaker 2: I can't see it. And he said, well, I got
Speaker 2: into it with my parents and they threw me out,
Speaker 2: but they like put a caveat on it. So his
Speaker 2: parents said, when when you finally die, which is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: any kids that you have are going to inherit everything.
Speaker 3: Oh, they're just like, we're skipping you. Yeah, you've been
Speaker 3: written out exactly right.
Speaker 2: And so the kids, they're going to get the chateau
Speaker 2: like super fancy want of fun, doesn't it cold? I
Speaker 2: feel like it's toss a lot to heat his chateau.
Speaker 2: I think about these things.
Speaker 3: You should own one.
Speaker 2: And I should visit exactly uh. And then they're not
Speaker 2: only the titles and the chateau. Money's aron So that's
Speaker 2: such fun too. Yeah. I like that.
Speaker 3: This is all good fun stuff so far.
Speaker 2: So these are the wild fortunes of the dying Yack,
Speaker 2: and it's like, you're doing great, by the way, thank
Speaker 2: you so much. So to prove this to people, he'd
Speaker 2: show everyone this locked chest that he had in the
Speaker 2: house class and that was proof of the story, because
Speaker 2: all the documentation necessary to replace the family to their
Speaker 2: former and intended glory, it was all in the chest.
Speaker 2: The chest could only be opened upon his death.
Speaker 3: He slapped the top of it, you know, me family secret.
Speaker 2: His baby's holding untold wealth paper for Miles oh Man.
Speaker 3: And it will only be opened by his death, like
Speaker 3: his death, like unlock some cosmic seal.
Speaker 2: The light comes out until then, while he's still walking
Speaker 2: this earth. It's just something to be admired, you know.
Speaker 2: It's a symbol of wonderful things.
Speaker 3: To enjoy it for what it is exactly.
Speaker 2: And now Terrace, she believed all of this, well, Dad,
Speaker 2: she borrowed her friend's jewelry, like all these people that
Speaker 2: she knew, and she'd put it all on at once
Speaker 2: and like sworn around and pretend to be like preparing
Speaker 2: to be rich.
Speaker 3: Now when you say borrowed, do they know she's borrowing?
Speaker 3: It is the actual bar.
Speaker 2: Everybody pool your stuff.
Speaker 3: And let her do your royalty.
Speaker 2: Thing necklaces and I'll put it on and I'll just
Speaker 2: this is what it's going to feel like.
Speaker 3: Don't I look great? Guys?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And then her dad died. Oh look at that January.
Speaker 2: Oh we all got to go sometimes. He went eighteen
Speaker 2: seventy four.
Speaker 3: Great time to go for her.
Speaker 2: She's eighteen years old.
Speaker 3: Perfect, Look at that legal, and now it.
Speaker 2: Was time she would get her rightful inheritance and bid
Speaker 2: her simple life goodbye.
Speaker 3: I bet she's practiced this moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the time came to open the chest. Yes,
Speaker 2: fuild the treasure, the will and testaments and documents and
Speaker 2: the parchments and such. Everyone gathers to open it. They
Speaker 2: find that it contains just one thing, a brick, just
Speaker 2: a brick.
Speaker 3: Just one break a brick, just to give it some way,
Speaker 3: to give it some hef is it even tape down
Speaker 3: so it doesn't slap.
Speaker 2: Around rattling around this She is humiliated. So like, not
Speaker 2: only was everything a lie and she's not some like comtesses,
Speaker 2: but now she had to get a job.
Speaker 3: And the hell out of town because everybody knows her
Speaker 3: and she's.
Speaker 2: Got three younger siblings to take care of. So she
Speaker 2: got a job as a washer woman. She got hired
Speaker 2: by her half aunt.
Speaker 3: Oh, I guess only better than not doing leather tanning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm guessing that her half aunt would be
Speaker 2: her dad's half sister.
Speaker 3: I'm not taking a guess on this, I trust you, though, But.
Speaker 2: This lady, the half aunt or just half a person,
Speaker 2: like she's just from the waist up, half woman, half aunt,
Speaker 2: like bisected from the oh that way, yeah, so like
Speaker 2: you like, and she puts like.
Speaker 3: You see her from one side.
Speaker 2: She looks like flexiglass, so you can see the brain
Speaker 2: and the organs.
Speaker 3: You did go to a veterinary school, I could you
Speaker 3: just jumped out? I was like, you went to a
Speaker 3: veterinary college. No, I really got a glass and you
Speaker 3: can see inside. You jumped out, but you can't hide
Speaker 3: it now.
Speaker 2: I went to weather controlling. So anyway, so the half
Speaker 2: aunt just a half person. She was married even though
Speaker 2: she was he was into it.
Speaker 3: Hopefully she was one and a half people, just a balance.
Speaker 2: Leg bouncing around, but plexiglass. Anyway, it was like the
Speaker 2: it was like the November rain video exactly, you know. Okay,
Speaker 2: So anyway, she's married to this guy, Gustave Umbert, the
Speaker 2: mayor of Toulouse. Right, he's a big timer.
Speaker 3: Yeah sure, why not.
Speaker 2: So while she's like washing their toonies, she meets their
Speaker 2: son like Umbert yeah Frederick. So if you do the math,
Speaker 2: you see that this is her cousin. She was like
Speaker 2: super supportive of him. She meets him like midw washing,
Speaker 2: like oh hey, what's up She just gassed him up
Speaker 2: and fed his ego. And she told him reach for
Speaker 2: the stars because you'll get there and you're an awesome guy. Yeah, baby,
Speaker 2: Like she rubs his shoulders, He's like yeah. And so
Speaker 2: while she's making him.
Speaker 3: He's like George W. Bush, like harassing angela merkle at
Speaker 3: a world.
Speaker 2: So she's making him feel great about himself.
Speaker 3: That's important, but.
Speaker 2: She also made him feel great about her. That's also important,
Speaker 2: telling him about how she had been so helpful to
Speaker 2: this old lady named Madame de Mariotte.
Speaker 3: Madame, I make it sound worse. I made you're good horrible.
Speaker 2: So Madame de Mariotte, she'd taken a shine to terrace
Speaker 2: and as thanks for her kindness, bequeathed her a chateau.
Speaker 3: Oh not a second brick, maybe some.
Speaker 2: More chateau, this large estate, massive fortune. So he was
Speaker 2: so nice.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, how nice? Was like Howard Hughes, like,
Speaker 3: this guy helped me one time, and I'm giving a million.
Speaker 2: So nice. She's nice to Frederick. She's like, let me
Speaker 2: rub your shoulders.
Speaker 3: Exactly. I remember, so awesome. I saw it.
Speaker 2: I did this to some lady and she was, thank you.
Speaker 3: So much, touching everything on own.
Speaker 2: This this estate is bigger than anyone could ever imagine.
Speaker 2: It's like infinity.
Speaker 3: She doesn't have any like family around to protect her
Speaker 3: from this charlatan.
Speaker 2: Well it's apparently not. So she's telling him this like
Speaker 2: while she's rubbing his toes, and she's like, you know,
Speaker 2: it's really like, Oh, it's not a big deal. I
Speaker 2: mean I never tell anyone this. Let's just keep it
Speaker 2: between us.
Speaker 3: Oh, this is just a story she's telling, just homie. Yes, okay,
Speaker 3: so she.
Speaker 2: Tells them when I turned twenty one, it's all going
Speaker 2: to be mine.
Speaker 3: Like she's gone back to her original story.
Speaker 2: This is the best trust fun ever and since it
Speaker 2: really didn't matter to her, and since Frederick was such
Speaker 2: a radical, battical dude, she planned to just give it
Speaker 2: to him when she got it. Half daddy, Yeah, she's
Speaker 2: totally turning him out. So anyway, Frederick was maybe not
Speaker 2: the sharpest tool in the chateau shed. He bought the
Speaker 2: whole story, like paid for it too. Basically, he's like,
Speaker 2: so you're super nice to everybody. This lady's going to
Speaker 2: give you the biggest fortune ever, and you just want
Speaker 2: me to have it because I'm amazing. You're right, I'm amazing.
Speaker 3: He's like, I could say, that's all makes sense. Yes,
Speaker 3: you seem charming all I'm doe total sense.
Speaker 2: So of course this woman he didn't know well, but
Speaker 2: also happened to be his cousin who was washing his
Speaker 2: family's closed down up creek really about to be super rich.
Speaker 2: As a measure of thanks for this, he proposed to
Speaker 2: her and asked for her hand in marriage.
Speaker 3: You have a really interesting way of telling these people's motivations, so.
Speaker 2: He wanted to lock this in before she changes. And,
Speaker 2: as you can probably guess, his dad, the mayor, was
Speaker 2: not about it.
Speaker 3: He said no, no, no, He's like, there is no shut.
Speaker 2: Did you don't you remember what happened to her crazy dad?
Speaker 3: Remember when that guy tried to sell you the magic beans.
Speaker 2: He's like, but we control the weather, dad, so no worries.
Speaker 2: They ran off to Paris, and it looked that no
Speaker 2: one understood their love and her bank account.
Speaker 3: Could you imagine being the father of this boy I
Speaker 3: just don't even know. Eighteen nineteen years in my life
Speaker 3: dedicated to this idiot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like my wife, half a woman, my son
Speaker 2: half a brain. So but things worked out for them
Speaker 2: in Paris. Oh, fred took the bar, became a lawyer.
Speaker 3: Of course, why not? Sure, he seems real sharp.
Speaker 2: They lived this lovely, quiet life, and Freddie soon realized,
Speaker 2: I don't think there is a Madame de Mariotte. No,
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 3: The lawyer figured this out on his own.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's a chateau. There's no inheritance. But
Speaker 2: you know what, by this time, too late loved her.
Speaker 3: He's like, soul, I love my lying wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, and he had a good job, and like
Speaker 2: they don't.
Speaker 3: Need the money. They live in Paris. I don't think
Speaker 3: she could give up crime.
Speaker 2: She's like, you know, my wife, like she's prone to
Speaker 2: flights of fancy, goofy dad, you know if she tells
Speaker 2: a tall tale, so beet, Yeah, all the more charming.
Speaker 2: But then she came to him with a proposition. She's like,
Speaker 2: remember remember how he met, and remember how you totally
Speaker 2: fell from my story about the chateau and all that.
Speaker 2: How about we try that on someone else.
Speaker 3: Why.
Speaker 2: She's like, let's take you from victim to accomplish. Let's
Speaker 2: move let's move you up the ranks. So he's like,
Speaker 2: we could use a fake chateau. Let's call it the
Speaker 2: Chateau de Mark cooked my God, as collateral for a
Speaker 2: bank loan. Let's do that, and then we can use
Speaker 2: that loan to move into an actual chateau. Like, let's
Speaker 2: get that castle life going. Frederick, not realizing that she
Speaker 2: was kind of insulting his intelligence, decided to go with
Speaker 2: it because he wanted a chateau one way or the other.
Speaker 3: I'm worried about this boy.
Speaker 2: Well before long, mister and missus Frederic Umbert or monsieur
Speaker 2: and Madame Frederic Umbert, you say so, sure, they moved
Speaker 2: into an actual castle of their own.
Speaker 3: I'm happy for them, and that lifted up.
Speaker 2: They wore the best clothes, the aid at all the
Speaker 2: best restaurants. They had like primo seats in the theater,
Speaker 2: all on credit.
Speaker 3: I hope their castle has a mote.
Speaker 2: You want to know what's more important than throwing away
Speaker 2: money at a strip club? What is credit?
Speaker 3: It is?
Speaker 2: So now, when you're getting credit based on badass chateau,
Speaker 2: it's only natural for the creditors to want to see
Speaker 2: this chateau, especially because like no one had ever heard
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: You kind of want a certified assets.
Speaker 2: It was supposed to be. Like in the southwest of France,
Speaker 2: like to Lose. There was one contractor who was owed
Speaker 2: money by them, and he's out on vacation near where
Speaker 2: the chateau is supposed to be. So he asks all over,
Speaker 2: no one's.
Speaker 5: Heard of it.
Speaker 2: So word starts to spread among the bankers and the
Speaker 2: shopkeepers and such who had loan money and like sold
Speaker 2: goods on credit. They're going to the cops. They're like
Speaker 2: they want to press criminal charges because they realized there's
Speaker 2: no chateau. So Frederick, he's making good money, but not
Speaker 2: chateau money, Like he couldn't pay everything back. So he
Speaker 2: goes to his dad. He had moved on from being
Speaker 2: the mayor of to Lose and at this point he's
Speaker 2: the Minister of Justice for the whole country. What Yeah,
Speaker 2: So fred tells his dad everything, all the parts of
Speaker 2: the cons and his dad, who's this like rising star.
Speaker 2: He doesn't want to be disgraced, and you know.
Speaker 3: A bunch Yeah, everyone realize he has a failed son.
Speaker 2: He was an idiot, like he paid off the debt. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and that way they avoid arrest, bills get paid.
Speaker 3: Remember I was saying about being the father of the son.
Speaker 2: Exactly, but terrase. She noticed something, just a little bit
Speaker 2: of money seemed to calm the creditors down, and when
Speaker 2: they saw their accounts paid off, they offered more loans.
Speaker 2: What yeah, funny, though, let's do that again. Was she reckoned?
Speaker 2: Like if she and her husband can come up with
Speaker 2: another story and made the creditors anticipate a payday at
Speaker 2: some point, they might as well give it a shot
Speaker 2: round two.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: So she starts spreading a rumor that she has received
Speaker 2: a crazy inheritance and it was totally unexpected, unusual, and
Speaker 2: you know remember how she got Frederick initially like, oh
Speaker 2: I'm so kind. Well one more time she told people that.
Speaker 2: A couple years back in eighteen seventy nine, she was
Speaker 2: riding on the centur Railway, small railway that kind of
Speaker 2: ran a circle around the city of Parish. Cool, just
Speaker 2: minding her own Suddenly she hears groans from the next compartment.
Speaker 2: She's like, hubb hub, No more like nine one one,
Speaker 2: what's your emergency? So she tried the door and it
Speaker 2: was locked. She goes out the window of the train
Speaker 2: on her in her compartment and like Shimmy's along the
Speaker 2: outside of the train. Tom cruise style.
Speaker 3: Does she telling this story? Are you telling me the story?
Speaker 2: Telling the story? I'm not making this. This is what
Speaker 2: she told people. And then she popped in the window
Speaker 2: of the neighboring compartment and found a man there having
Speaker 2: a heart attack, and like, she always carried a defibrillator
Speaker 2: on her, so she started compression. Except the pads knows Zarin,
Speaker 2: that is historically a nachronus. She revived the man with
Speaker 2: some smelling salts that she carried on her, which leads
Speaker 2: me to believe that he was not actually having a
Speaker 2: heart attack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think yes.
Speaker 2: And of course this is if you believe he exists
Speaker 2: in the first place.
Speaker 3: That was where I was at.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, according to her story, the man came to
Speaker 2: introduced himself. He's like, hello, I am handsome American millionaire
Speaker 2: Robert Henry Crawford. I cannot thank you enough for saving
Speaker 2: my life. I'd like to reward you at some point
Speaker 2: in the future, and I will do so in a
Speaker 2: convoluted manner. And so she told people like she's like,
Speaker 2: guess what this is now that she's ready to do
Speaker 2: another con Hey, everybody, I just got a letter from
Speaker 2: the USA. Would you look at that. And this letter
Speaker 2: said that Crawford had died and made her a beneficiary of.
Speaker 3: His will, this young man.
Speaker 2: There are stipulations in the well, of course. So the
Speaker 2: main thing is that Teres and her husband must look
Speaker 2: after the family fortune. And what's wild is that the
Speaker 2: family fortune is kept in a sealed safe. No, this
Speaker 2: one could have It wasn't to be opened upon anyone's death.
Speaker 3: He already died.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one could only be cracked open once Teresa's
Speaker 2: younger sister, Marie was old enough to marry Henry Crawford,
Speaker 2: one of Crawford's nephews. Yeah, this is big.
Speaker 3: It sounds like old, like Middle Ages style.
Speaker 2: Are she's digging in She's like Chateau tal So it's
Speaker 2: so crazy that she has another secret inheritance that has
Speaker 2: to be kept in the sealed safe, like what.
Speaker 3: Are the chances?
Speaker 2: Well, and she wasn't going to let this spectacle go unspectacled,
Speaker 2: So she has this heavily publicized event. She installs a
Speaker 2: fireproof safe in her bedroom, hires a magistrate to act
Speaker 2: as a notary. She made this huge show of putting
Speaker 2: the documents and securities in the safe, just making sure
Speaker 2: that She and the notary were the only ones there
Speaker 2: for that.
Speaker 3: Like parchment and calligraphy.
Speaker 2: She sealed the safe with hot wax and then promised
Speaker 2: it would not be open until her sister's twenty.
Speaker 3: First Birthdayssive stage Craft.
Speaker 2: Let's take a break, please, I need to go check
Speaker 2: on my safe. When we return, we'll continue with the
Speaker 2: adventures of Teray Soumbert, Queen of the Phony inheritances Zarin.
Speaker 3: Well, that's my government name. But yes, yeah, I'd like
Speaker 3: you to call me Dizzy for the rest of the show.
Speaker 2: You got it. What did I want to be called Dizzy?
Speaker 2: And tiger?
Speaker 3: Tiger?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm not feeling that one. Yeah, anyway, thank you,
Speaker 2: So we have let's go back to my story. Yes,
Speaker 2: we have the precious documents in the safe.
Speaker 3: Wax sealed.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, wax sealed, all the dim bulbs handing out money.
Speaker 2: Saw this as the perfect green light for giving her
Speaker 2: her husband even more dough. I mean they had a
Speaker 2: will in their Zarin, Robert Henry Crawford handsome, too handsome.
Speaker 2: So let's talk for a moment about what was in
Speaker 2: the safe. There's the initial letter. This is what she
Speaker 2: says is the initial letter from American millionaire Robert Henry Crawford.
Speaker 2: There's the will that said her sister had to marry
Speaker 2: Crawford's nephew in order for Terrace to collect. Yes, but
Speaker 2: she spread rumors of another will. This one left everything
Speaker 2: to Terrace's younger sister in Crawford's to American nephews.
Speaker 3: So if she married, she started rumors of this guy
Speaker 3: had a better will.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then Teresa was like, oh, but there's a
Speaker 2: third document, And in that one, the two Crawford nephews
Speaker 2: agreed to give their uncle's fortune to Terrace while the
Speaker 2: dispute over the competing wills was being resolved. So she's
Speaker 2: just creating drama on whitless pointless drama. Oh and ps,
Speaker 2: there's a deed up in there. And in that, the
Speaker 2: Crawford boys agreed to waive their claim to their uncle's
Speaker 2: vast fortune in return for a payoff of six million
Speaker 2: francs and the promise that one of them would be
Speaker 2: allowed to wed Terrase's younger sister. Okay, the sister must
Speaker 2: be a real looker. Oh yeah, maybe not so much.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 2: But they're begging, like, please please let me marry your sister.
Speaker 3: Yes, she seems like your family, I really want to
Speaker 3: go too.
Speaker 2: So Terrace used her story to get a huge loan,
Speaker 2: and she told her bankers that if they lent her
Speaker 2: six million francs, she'd cut the Crawford nephews out of
Speaker 2: the will.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: Then the whole hundred million francs would be hers and
Speaker 2: she'd pay everyone back with like major interests.
Speaker 3: And the bankers are like, I know a guy who
Speaker 3: does wet work.
Speaker 2: The bakers are like, well that sounds on the up
Speaker 2: and up. Perfect love to do.
Speaker 3: This profit profit profits.
Speaker 2: So you know, Teresa, her husband, they got this newfound
Speaker 2: supply of cash. They bought a big, fancy new house.
Speaker 2: She turned it into this destination for socialites. She threw
Speaker 2: grand parties with like high level guests, like political figures, nobility,
Speaker 2: like high business people, entertainers. She bought a newspaper and
Speaker 2: had her friend run it. This guy our main cas.
Speaker 3: Was just like a really big like.
Speaker 2: Paper. And her friend was this radical muckraker and her
Speaker 2: father in law, the former mayor. No, you know, he
Speaker 2: was a progressive. So she used the paper to campaign
Speaker 2: to have him elected to French parliament. Wow. And so
Speaker 2: she she bought this like really hard to get box
Speaker 2: at the opera that there's this long waiting list, and
Speaker 2: she jumped to the front everything. And then she became
Speaker 2: like a big benefactor to the opera. So she and
Speaker 2: Frederick they lived in luxury for like two days acades.
Speaker 2: Are you king dead serious? They spent the money that
Speaker 2: they had on these this high life, the parties and
Speaker 2: the opulence. They had toilet brushes with pink satin bows
Speaker 2: on them. The banks are just waving like that's the
Speaker 2: that's too much.
Speaker 3: They're waiting for the daughter to come of age. They're
Speaker 3: timing their part.
Speaker 2: There's always stalling it, always stalling it. She's got all
Speaker 2: these stalls. They had a maid who would polish the
Speaker 2: safe once a week. They expanded their housing to three
Speaker 2: country chateaus, and then they threw in a yacht for
Speaker 2: good measure. So many parties there in fashion terrase loved hats,
Speaker 2: but not like normal ones. She liked like beach blanket,
Speaker 2: Babylon hats, like the big hats, crazy feathers, bake fruit.
Speaker 2: She had one that looked like an oversized leech was
Speaker 2: sucking her head.
Speaker 3: That's what she wanted.
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like give me leech, but make it fash. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's fashion sweaty. So so one of her creditors that
Speaker 2: was like me suspicious and impatiently those are my two
Speaker 2: most prominent traits. Yes, this dude, di Latte.
Speaker 3: Also, you're a really good dancer, and.
Speaker 2: I'm a super good dancer. I'm a triple threat, impatient, suspicious.
Speaker 2: So de Latte, right, he wants his money and he
Speaker 2: wants it now, and things aren't adding up. So one
Speaker 2: day he just is like casually asked talking to Terrace
Speaker 2: and he's like, so, where does Henry Crawford live? And I'm,
Speaker 2: you know, just wondering, just make a conversation, small talks,
Speaker 2: and she's like, oh, he lives in Summerville, which is
Speaker 2: this tony Boston suburb. That makes sense, you know, Okay,
Speaker 2: but he didn't buy it. So he quietly made his
Speaker 2: way to Marseille and took the first available boat to
Speaker 2: the United States.
Speaker 3: He's like, take me to Somerville.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he wanted to meet this Crawford guy confirmed
Speaker 2: the story Zarin. He was shipping up to Boston. So
Speaker 2: he gets to Boston, starts asking around heads to Somerville.
Speaker 2: No one's ever heard of Henry Crawford. He tries the
Speaker 2: city of right exactly. He tries the city, goes to
Speaker 2: all these other suburbs, nothing, never heard of them. So
Speaker 2: he's like, hmm, scratches his chin. He hired private investigators
Speaker 2: and like, maybe the Frenchman just isn't well understood. You know,
Speaker 2: we get some Americans on this, so Pi's they come
Speaker 2: up empty. In fact, they can't find a millionaire named
Speaker 2: Henry Crawford anywhere in the whole entire country. So Delat
Speaker 2: he's heated, like he I knew it. He immediately writes
Speaker 2: to a friend in Paris. He's like, hey, Pow, I'm
Speaker 2: in Boston. The Baked beans are to die for. But
Speaker 2: most importantly to race Umber is a big faker and
Speaker 2: I'm on my way back asap. And when I get there,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna blow up her life. PS go, Pats, I
Speaker 2: just said that last part to you. Take you and Dave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, see how we're trying both silently to just get
Speaker 3: past that.
Speaker 2: So lat He goes to New York to set sail,
Speaker 2: but he never made it to the ship. His body
Speaker 2: was found in the East River. Wow, yeah, this isn't
Speaker 2: one percent, because no one knows what happened to him,
Speaker 2: and I don't think Terrace's reach was that far.
Speaker 3: Did he telegraph the message?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so phew. I don't know put on a boat.
Speaker 2: I don't know what happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know how it got there.
Speaker 2: Let's just I'll be frank. I'll be honest with.
Speaker 4: You, man.
Speaker 2: I have no idea. None of us were there, Carrier Pelican,
Speaker 2: I don't know. So uh plan to expose Terrace died
Speaker 2: with de Latte In eighteen ninety three, she starts up
Speaker 2: this insurance company called Villager and this means life annuity,
Speaker 2: and so she set it all up in a fancy
Speaker 2: office building. She promoted it with this like crazy huge
Speaker 2: prospectus that used unauthorized pictures of the President of South
Speaker 2: Africa and the Pope on it. They looking for it.
Speaker 2: I like the cut of his jip. Put him in there,
Speaker 2: nice hat. She didn't bring in the big money makers
Speaker 2: for this though. Instead she pulled in peasants and small
Speaker 2: business owners scam as old as crime, and it worked.
Speaker 2: She offered huge returns from these small investments, and she
Speaker 2: paid out pretty quickly and didn't put people through like
Speaker 2: endless paperwork and all of this, of course unsecured, so
Speaker 2: it's this classic ponzi skin. She took in more than
Speaker 2: forty million francs with this, that's nice. Yeah, small bits
Speaker 2: she paid off to old investors while the rest went
Speaker 2: into her bank account. From there, she and her husband
Speaker 2: just paid off their creditors. So this is how they
Speaker 2: were kept it going for twenty years. They still had
Speaker 2: money issues. Like one time a bailiff came over like
Speaker 2: to collect for a creditor, and terrase, she caused a
Speaker 2: scene and threw her pearl necklace on the floor and everyone,
Speaker 2: all these servants start scurrying around, and the bailiff to
Speaker 2: pick up the pearls and like calm her down. And
Speaker 2: then the clock in the parlor starts to chime five pm,
Speaker 2: and she just like super cold blooded, turns to the
Speaker 2: bailiff and is like, it's five o'clock. Your writ has expired.
Speaker 2: Get out of here, and has someone show him out
Speaker 2: because it only went until five pm.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So then like when creditors did to get nervous,
Speaker 2: then like Terrace would trot out the Crawford nephews and
Speaker 2: so someone claiming to be one of the nephews, like Huey,
Speaker 2: Dewey or Oude and then would say, oh, you know what,
Speaker 2: like I hear you have this debt, I want to
Speaker 2: buy it from you, and you know, because those chits
Speaker 2: too valuable to pass up, and I want to ruin
Speaker 2: that beautiful and charming Terrace is their damn rize. And
Speaker 2: so the creditor is like, maybe this debt's too good
Speaker 2: to let go of, and I think I might have
Speaker 2: a huge payday coming, so he'd hold off in quiet
Speaker 2: down demanded okay. So Terrace it all going by like
Speaker 2: continuing to borrow huge sums of money, you got to
Speaker 2: look like you're making money moves. And she figured the
Speaker 2: inheritance issue was so convoluted that it would be tied
Speaker 2: up in court and stall things even further. So she's
Speaker 2: stalling and bringing in more money, but people are at
Speaker 2: least starting to get officially suspicious. Renee waldeck Rousseau was
Speaker 2: this distinguished lawyer politician, so he started trying to chase
Speaker 2: down debt for creditors, and one of them was his
Speaker 2: own son in law. Started Yeah, so he wanted to
Speaker 2: RaSE taken down, and to do so, he teamed up
Speaker 2: with the editor of the newspaper La Mataine. Right in
Speaker 2: eighteen eighty three, the paper published an article that was
Speaker 2: really just like attacking to Race, and they wanted to
Speaker 2: be balanced in their reporting, so they let her father
Speaker 2: in law, the Minister of Justice, chime in.
Speaker 3: Mister Justice, and.
Speaker 2: He totally supported all of her crazy tales. He's like, yep,
Speaker 2: it's on the up and up. But this official with
Speaker 2: the Bank of France, Jules Bezat, he didn't buy it
Speaker 2: one bit. So he asked Terrace where her annuity company
Speaker 2: was investing all the premiums its clients were paying, and
Speaker 2: she was like, it's all in treasury bonds. He's like cool, cool, cool,
Speaker 2: So then he goes to the Treasury. He's like quick
Speaker 2: question and they look, there are no records of that
Speaker 2: business buying any bonds. So he wanted to dig more,
Speaker 2: but he's nervous, not that he'd end up in the
Speaker 2: East River. The problem was that there were so many
Speaker 2: creditors that the debt was more than was supposed to
Speaker 2: be in the will. Okay, yeah, and if someone called
Speaker 2: in their loan it would collapse everything, taking banks and
Speaker 2: investment firms too big to fail. But it had to
Speaker 2: be called in sometime, and one brave banker decided to
Speaker 2: pull the plug on the money. He wanted the safe opened,
Speaker 2: and he took it to court. Zaron, Let's take a
Speaker 2: break when we come back to court. Yes, Zaren, Yes,
Speaker 2: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,
Speaker 2: and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 3: I was told I was going to court, but I
Speaker 3: wasn't on trial.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you are on trial. This is the trial of
Speaker 2: Zaren Burnett. Okay, so we're in court. One banker, yes,
Speaker 2: has been enough enough pull the plug. So all I
Speaker 2: have to say to you, Zarin, is closure. I want
Speaker 2: you to picture it. It's nineteen oh one. You are
Speaker 2: a court clerk in Paris, and the judge for whom
Speaker 2: you work has been assigned to the terrees Umbert case.
Speaker 2: You are thrilled because you love a good gossipy case.
Speaker 2: This will not be boring. You know that you're wearing
Speaker 2: your best beret for today and carrying your favorite baguette
Speaker 2: in a paper bag. Today. The plaintiff's attorney has called
Speaker 2: the two Crawford nephews to testify, Ol Henry and Robert.
Speaker 2: Henry takes the stand and prepares himself for question. Please
Speaker 2: state your name. The attorney asks in French. Henry responds,
Speaker 2: but in English, Well, howdy, partner, I am an American man,
Speaker 2: and my name is Henry Crawford from the America, I
Speaker 2: mean from America. Everyone in the gallery starts to snicker.
Speaker 2: This American accent is almost as bad as Elizabeth's French accent.
Speaker 2: Who's Elizabeth? You wonder? It's a fleeting moment, but you're confused,
Speaker 2: must be the heat. Henry says he doesn't recall to
Speaker 2: a bunch of questions, and then is dismissed. Robert takes
Speaker 2: the stand. Monsieur palonse, Uh, I mean no. Robert looks
Speaker 2: around the courtroom, clears his throat, and blushes. The gallery laughs.
Speaker 2: The attorney asks in French, and how are you acquainted
Speaker 2: with the defendant? Robert responds in halting clumsy English. Uh,
Speaker 2: my uncle met her on the train while on Comodton vacation.
Speaker 2: He likes, how do you say cucumber? The court rrupts
Speaker 2: in laughter. The judge bangs his gable, and Robert is dismissed.
Speaker 2: Now for Terrace, The attorney asks her about the nephews.
Speaker 2: Where do they live? Therees replies, uh, thirteen oh two Broadway. No, city,
Speaker 2: no state, just the most generic American sounding address other
Speaker 2: than one two three Main Street. Possible groans, laughs, fill
Speaker 2: the room. The judge bangs his gable calls for a recess.
Speaker 2: You weren't disappointed? This one is entertaining, so zaren It
Speaker 2: turns out that the crawford Us were actually Terrace's brothers.
Speaker 3: What what?
Speaker 2: And they didn't do American accents very well, worse than
Speaker 2: our accents, worse than hours. It's like in the reporting
Speaker 2: of the time, is how bad the accents were. After this,
Speaker 2: the trial goes on for a really long time, and
Speaker 2: then the judge rules, you know what, pop that safe? Really,
Speaker 2: pop them college, pop them college. And there was almost
Speaker 2: a problem with that. On May seventh, nineteen oh two,
Speaker 2: there was a fire at Teresa's place. No, but remember
Speaker 2: the safe is fireproof.
Speaker 3: That can I guess what burns?
Speaker 2: Go ahead?
Speaker 3: No, I don't want you tell me.
Speaker 2: The whole thing is terribly upsetting for Terrace. She doesn't
Speaker 2: she doesn't know what's burned. Whole house has gone up.
Speaker 2: Oh you know, she's like it was so upsetting that
Speaker 2: she had to run. She went off to one of
Speaker 2: her three country homes to me out of here.
Speaker 3: She has to convalesce.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the safe fireproof, so it survived, one would think,
Speaker 2: I think the wax melted filling. Well. So two days
Speaker 2: later the government seized the safe and decided to open
Speaker 2: it in public workers. They haul the like charred safe
Speaker 2: out into the street. They don't have a key. Race,
Speaker 2: isn't there.
Speaker 3: This is the original al Capone's vault. We're going to break, Yeah, So.
Speaker 2: They they pulled out sledgehammers and crowbars and axes like
Speaker 2: that'll open her up. And it took an hour to
Speaker 2: bust the thing open, which is not very long I
Speaker 2: would think for a safe, like if you really doing it. Yeah. Meanwhile,
Speaker 2: a crowd had developed naturally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't have anything else for entertainment.
Speaker 2: When I say crowd, I mean ten thousand people.
Speaker 3: Where were they standing?
Speaker 2: That was exactly my question. I'm trying to imagine this
Speaker 2: scene on like a really fancy residential street wherever, and there's.
Speaker 3: Kind of like heared standing seats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're in front of a charred, burned out shell
Speaker 2: of a house. They've dragged this into the road and
Speaker 2: ten thousand maniacs are gathered around.
Speaker 3: Are they just doing laps around the house?
Speaker 2: Taking turns peak and they jump and peek over. It's like, okay,
Speaker 2: so it stacks out and you've got people like maybe
Speaker 2: standing on front step. Sure, yeah, how many blocks out?
Speaker 2: Does that go to pay ten? Do you think they
Speaker 2: were exaggerating.
Speaker 3: I'm getting the idea a little bit.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking so so exaggerating up. Oh, there's really fifty thousand.
Speaker 2: They're like they're all on the rooftops. So there's ten
Speaker 2: thousand people, right, and there's like guys selling inflatable aliens
Speaker 2: and like those light up necklaces. Yeah, carts selling sonor
Speaker 2: and hot dogs roll up. It's the works. They're going
Speaker 2: all out, so with great drama. The door to the
Speaker 2: safe creaks open. I can tell you the contents did
Speaker 2: not include a couple of letters and two wheels? What
Speaker 2: there were no game boy?
Speaker 3: Wait? Would you reach me your favorite take a picture
Speaker 3: of my face, because I'd like to see what I
Speaker 3: look like when I'm surprised, just stunt shot.
Speaker 2: You know what else wasn't in there? Pats tickets? Yeah,
Speaker 2: so I can't tell you what what was it?
Speaker 3: Who got the tickets?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think they died with delut. Okay,
Speaker 2: so here's what was in the There are three things,
Speaker 2: an Italian coin, one one, a trouser button, and a brick,
Speaker 2: a callback with the brick like nicely done. So now
Speaker 2: the shot is out of the bag. And it made
Speaker 2: a mess of the French economy. So some of the
Speaker 2: people that she scammed were like the safe deposit box owners,
Speaker 2: and they didn't say anything because they didn't want to
Speaker 2: be made a fool of well, and it's like, story
Speaker 2: is so ridiculous. So the French press, though, got a
Speaker 2: hold of the lists of the men and the women
Speaker 2: who'd been duped to their fortune and just started running
Speaker 2: printed names. And this included Empress Eugenie who's in exile,
Speaker 2: the son of the president, and like all these like
Speaker 2: non influential small investors. So she's taking like.
Speaker 3: Talk to me, like we're talking like a Napoleonic princess
Speaker 3: in exile.
Speaker 2: And so you know who got caught up in all
Speaker 2: of this. It's just a side note. Alri Matisse, the painter,
Speaker 2: his in laws, the Pereres. Madame Pereire was Teres's housekeeper,
Speaker 2: and authorities thought that like she and her husband were
Speaker 2: somehow in on this, and somehow Terrace would bring in
Speaker 2: the housekeeper and.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's like a cultural bias, like the type of person.
Speaker 2: Perhaps. Yeah, and so they arrested Monsieur Pereire and then
Speaker 2: they even searched Matissa's studio. He got oh yeah, he
Speaker 2: gets pulled into the I love.
Speaker 3: How he's like famous artists get pulled in. We have
Speaker 3: Picasso get pulled in.
Speaker 2: I feel for them.
Speaker 3: Round up the French artists.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: The family becomes total scapegoats. And like because Terrace like she's.
Speaker 3: Not around right, yeah, she's at the country home.
Speaker 2: Everyone's just directing their anger at the parade man.
Speaker 3: That's left literally holding the bag of no sense.
Speaker 2: It's like, why are you attacking the workers instead of
Speaker 2: the fat cat?
Speaker 3: But whatever, the violently rich one.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So uh, Monsieur Pereire he goes on a hunger
Speaker 2: strike in protest, and he didn't have a lawyer, so
Speaker 2: Matisse represented him.
Speaker 3: I am so confused by this and.
Speaker 2: Was supporting the whole family.
Speaker 3: It's just because he could read. Is there some benefit
Speaker 3: to having him do this.
Speaker 2: It's just a good dude. I don't know. But then okay,
Speaker 2: so you're saying.
Speaker 3: You got like Matisa in like the courtroom, painting your defense.
Speaker 2: And he like, look at that.
Speaker 3: Everything's picture the whole event.
Speaker 2: Everyone stands back and just kind of stares. You know,
Speaker 2: he's just painting. That's a great defense though, So he's
Speaker 2: just paying people off the paintings. So you know, we're
Speaker 2: talking about like Terrace is. She had like a country.
Speaker 2: She and her family fled to Spain. She got out
Speaker 2: out wow. Yeah, and they got arrested in Madrid December
Speaker 2: of nineteen oh two, dragged back to Paris to be tried.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: A lot of information about the creditors and the delicate
Speaker 2: nature of the French banking system because of Terrace came
Speaker 2: to light in the trial, and she just kept saying
Speaker 2: that she's innocent, she didn't do anything wrong. She did
Speaker 2: admit like, okay, fine, there's no Henry Crawford, you know,
Speaker 2: handsome America. Fine, but she said, okay, so there's no
Speaker 2: Henry Crawford, but there is an inheritance.
Speaker 3: Did anyone go praying that?
Speaker 2: Everyone? Oh God? So she's like, all right, it actually
Speaker 2: came from Marshall Bazaine.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So he's the one who surrendered to Prussia at the
Speaker 2: Siege of Metz and he was tried for treason because
Speaker 2: here he gives it all up.
Speaker 3: Sure, this is like, why would she want to claim him?
Speaker 3: Take on?
Speaker 2: So this is out. He has this long and storied
Speaker 2: military career, He gets sentenced to death, escapes to Spain,
Speaker 2: and he died like a dozen years before this all
Speaker 2: goes down with Terrace. So Terrace is like, look, Bazaine,
Speaker 2: he got four million pounds from Prussia for his betrayal,
Speaker 2: Like he sold out our country for that, and then
Speaker 2: somehow I ended up with that money. But I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have taken it if I knew where it came from.
Speaker 2: And she's like, in fact, when I found out it
Speaker 2: was dirty Prussian cash, an enemy bribe, it burned it
Speaker 2: while singing La Marseilles totally.
Speaker 3: Now do you think that that she actually was doing,
Speaker 3: like maybe money laundering for him? And that's where she
Speaker 3: came up the story target. She just picked somebody who
Speaker 3: everyone knew was had money and is dead and everyone story.
Speaker 2: She's like, who do you hate? I got someone you
Speaker 2: hate more than that.
Speaker 3: You know who ruined your house? Got Zilla? Not me? Okay,
Speaker 3: I got it.
Speaker 2: So she said that that's why the safe was empty.
Speaker 2: She's like, I burned the cash because I'm a patriot.
Speaker 3: Dang it, I did it for you. What did you
Speaker 3: do for?
Speaker 2: French judge? Though? What does the judge say to this quote?
Speaker 2: But it does not explain ziblick?
Speaker 3: Madame, good point.
Speaker 2: You know I love a callback. Here's the brick. So
Speaker 2: the trial went on for six weeks. Terrace was found guilty,
Speaker 2: sentenced to five years of solitary confinement with hard labor. Uh.
Speaker 2: Frederick got the same deal. Her brothers, the fake Crawford nephews,
Speaker 2: they got two and three years, respectively. I'm not sure
Speaker 2: who got what, but whatever, I don't know who cares.
Speaker 2: I honestly just don't care. Her sister Marie and her
Speaker 2: daughter Eve, and then her deceased father in law that
Speaker 2: just disminister.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, they're all labeled as victims instead of conspiratorsy.
Speaker 3: Oh for real, I thought they were all going to
Speaker 3: be left. Hold.
Speaker 2: Marie was just a pawn in this, Like she's being
Speaker 2: offered to marry off to these invisible men. She can't
Speaker 2: probably can't marry anyone else because of it. Yeah. So
Speaker 2: most people think that when she got out, she moved
Speaker 2: to the United States, Chicago to be specific, would be
Speaker 2: a good place for her. Yeah, and they say that
Speaker 2: she passed away in nineteen eighteen. But there's absolutely no
Speaker 2: paperwork to back this up.
Speaker 3: But there was a war going on.
Speaker 2: A list there was come on be Sensitive a prosecutor
Speaker 2: who went to Madrid to take her back to Paris.
Speaker 2: He wrote in a paper that quote Terrees Umbert is
Speaker 2: still living poorly in Paris. She has lost her miraculous vitality.
Speaker 2: What a reverse of fortune. Her golden past has left her.
Speaker 2: She is a quite humble old lady who never speaks
Speaker 2: to anyone. So he's like, she didn't make it to Chicago.
Speaker 2: She's a loser. Keep Hayton on her, because she's alive
Speaker 2: and a lose.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you where she is if you got a
Speaker 3: rotten tomato you want to toss.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing though, the article had two pictures in it.
Speaker 2: Really yeah. In one there's like it's a door to
Speaker 2: a house in Paris, and the caption here Boulevard de
Speaker 2: Butino lives today she who was lagran Terrees. So here's her.
Speaker 3: House house, here's the street. Yeah, you can find it.
Speaker 2: The second picture is like the same outside of the
Speaker 2: house and like with a window, and it has the
Speaker 2: caption behind these windows with white curtains. Terrees Sumbert meditates
Speaker 2: on her past, so like all right, boys, roll on out.
Speaker 2: Frederick he died in nineteen thirty six, and in all
Speaker 2: of his records he's not listed as a widower.
Speaker 3: Really got married.
Speaker 2: I think she's still alive today. So that author of
Speaker 2: LaGrand Terrees, Hillary Sperling, this is what she had to
Speaker 2: say about Teresa's legacy. If she had chosen books instead
Speaker 2: of real life as the medium for her romantic fictions
Speaker 2: about missing deeds, locked coffers, surprise legacies, and long lost parents,
Speaker 2: she would have been a nineteenth century bestseller totally. I
Speaker 2: love that, Zara. That's your ridiculous takeaway.
Speaker 3: Thank you for asking. Elizabeth. It's very nicey, very dear,
Speaker 3: very sweet.
Speaker 2: I you know, I am so nice to so many people,
Speaker 2: and as.
Speaker 3: A result, you have all those fortunes, last.
Speaker 2: Secret fortunes that I can't I don't like to tell
Speaker 2: people about her nickname.
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is a nickname she was used,
Speaker 3: but the book The grom Teresa, Yeah, I like that
Speaker 3: because Terry the Great Teresa sounds like like a magician,
Speaker 3: like a you know, like an eleven year old girl,
Speaker 3: who's a magician. It's the great Teresa. Like in the backyard,
Speaker 3: you got a handmade sign painted exactly I like it.
Speaker 3: Her sister painted it for her, who's also her assistant,
Speaker 3: who's getting cut in half? You get it? The greater there?
Speaker 2: It is, all came together.
Speaker 3: Call back, You're welcome. What heres Elizabeth?
Speaker 2: My takeaway is that I got to start really working
Speaker 2: on my can game because it looks so easy.
Speaker 3: Dude, there's so much money we're just leaving out there.
Speaker 3: It's just just seeing my weight in pockets that want
Speaker 3: to be in ours.
Speaker 2: Because I love to tell outlandish tales, why not get
Speaker 2: paid for it?
Speaker 3: Totally? I mean you kind of do well.
Speaker 2: Kind of uh Dave, I need to talk back?
Speaker 3: Got one here?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Did s I l cheat?
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 2: Is there? And Elizabeth?
Speaker 6: First, I want to thank you for giving me some
Speaker 6: of the most ridiculous did you know? Facts to share
Speaker 6: at parties and gatherings. It keeps my invitation list low.
Speaker 6: And second, while I'm here, I'd like to confess to
Speaker 6: a ridiculous crime. My father is a pediatrician, and all
Speaker 6: through school I made a fair amount of money selling
Speaker 6: doctor's notes, and as I grew up in a very
Speaker 6: small town. I had to learn to become a signature
Speaker 6: forger as well, so that no one would know they
Speaker 6: weren't from him. I'm not giving my name as I
Speaker 6: remain unidentified by any interested authorities. Love the show, Keep
Speaker 6: up the good work.
Speaker 2: I love that. And it's not scripts just doing doctors no.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for like missing school, I'm assuming you can't do.
Speaker 2: That's genius. And she's doing the lord's work.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great. I used to have to go to
Speaker 3: doctors offices and steal those pads for myself, and she's
Speaker 3: just like doing it one at a time. So much better,
Speaker 3: so much smarter, so good.
Speaker 2: That's it for today. You can find us online at
Speaker 2: ridiculous crime dot com. We're also at Ridiculous Crime on
Speaker 2: both Twitter and Instagram. You can email ridiculous Crime at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com. Leave it talk back on the iHeart app. Oh,
Speaker 2: I think we will probably have new merch or we
Speaker 2: do have y Yeah, there's like just going to be a.
Speaker 3: Merch lands to check the website and that's it.
Speaker 2: Reach out. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and
Speaker 2: Zaren Burnett, produced and edited by rich American uncle Dave Cousten,
Speaker 2: starring annals Rucker as Judith. Research is by Beleaguered Locksmith's
Speaker 2: Marissa Brown and Andrea Song Sharpened Tear. The theme song
Speaker 2: is by Thomas Lee Crawford and Travis Dutton Crawford, both
Speaker 2: of Somerville, Massachusetts. Host wardrobe is provided by Botany five hundred,
Speaker 2: guest Haron, makeup by Sparkleshot and mister Andre. Executive producers
Speaker 2: are Chateau salesman Ben Bolan, an American accent coach, Noel Brown.
Speaker 4: G Dicks Quime Say It One More Time, Geequeusquin.
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio four more podcasts.
Speaker 1: My heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows,