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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house. Oh you, my friends are getting a

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Speaker 2: divorce after twenty years now they're forcing me to choose.

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Speaker 2: So me thirty four female. I have two close friends

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Speaker 2: who are married, thirty four female and thirty four male.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's thirty four love it are getting divorced. I'll call

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Speaker 2: them Sally and Jack, respectively. Jack and Sally have been

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Speaker 2: together for about twenty years and have two children together,

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Speaker 2: twelve and fifteen. I met them maybe seven years ago

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Speaker 2: through a different friend who I met at a karaoke bar.

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Speaker 2: Sally and I instantly hinted off and became close friends,

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Speaker 2: and of course I became close friends with Jack as well.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from U slash Clyde Frog

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Speaker 2: on the r slash Okay Storytime sup reread it. So

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Speaker 2: I love them both dearly, and was closer with Sally

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Speaker 2: initially because she is more extroverted and we're both alternative

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Speaker 2: women who share the same style of fashion and enjoy

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Speaker 2: going out and doing stuff. Jack would occasionally come out

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Speaker 2: if it's a big occasion, like for our birthday, holiday, celebration, whatever,

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Speaker 2: but he was more of the stay home play video

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Speaker 2: games or if we had a game night, he would

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Speaker 2: join for that. A year or two ago, Jack started

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Speaker 2: seeing a doctor for some gastric issues he's had for

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Speaker 2: a while, and they told him he should avoid certain foods.

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Speaker 2: That turned into him losing some weight, which made him

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Speaker 2: want to work out, which is great. I noticed he

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Speaker 2: started wearing some hair clips and decorating his beard with beads, braids,

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Speaker 2: and colorful hair bands. Thought it was super cool and

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Speaker 2: honestly would love to see more guys doing that. I

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Speaker 2: see you, I see you. He started doing experimenting with

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Speaker 2: makeup and nail polished, which again Sally and I and

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Speaker 2: their daughters have been nothing but supportivele So this is

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Speaker 2: where things get complicated. Earlier this year, Sally tells me

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Speaker 2: that Jack wants to get a divorce because he thinks

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Speaker 2: he's gay. Dun dun, dull.

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Speaker 1: WHOA, that's such a shocker.

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Speaker 2: Where did that come from? Yeah, we could see it.

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Speaker 2: She said. They talked and that they should be open

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Speaker 2: to having an open relationship for him. To experiment, because

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Speaker 2: if he's unsure, why go straight to divorce. What if

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Speaker 2: it's just a fantasy and doesn't end up being what

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Speaker 2: he wants or anything else?

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Speaker 1: Okay, a game plan okay.

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Speaker 2: And then if it is what he wants, they can

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Speaker 2: figure out this splitting up process. She's very She's like, go, okay,

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Speaker 2: I don't even know how to pertaining. She's doing really

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Speaker 2: like handling that, so well, oh yeah, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. Like, i'd be so sad, right, She's just like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we'll just see what's right for you. Props, props. He

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Speaker 2: was very adamant about, no, this is what I want,

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Speaker 2: but would still be intimate with her. So the whole

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Speaker 2: thing has left her very confused. That confuses me too. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He also has identified as being bisex as long as

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Speaker 2: I've known him. Sally and I both are too. As

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Speaker 2: a single by person, I've gone through phases where I'm

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Speaker 2: super into men, super into women, or both, so I

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Speaker 2: thought it could maybe be something like that. That is true,

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Speaker 2: That's a very common thing. Anyway, time goes on, and

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Speaker 2: she had a mental breakdown and ended up being hospitalized

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Speaker 2: for a short period, got medicated, and left her job.

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Speaker 2: And went to school to become a licensed nurse assistant.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, wow, that's a pivot, quite a big one

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Speaker 2: that way, Whatever happened, and she has a better job

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Speaker 2: and afford rent and all that, whether he moves out

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Speaker 2: or takes the apartment. They also had a joint big

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Speaker 2: account and he controlled all of the money. Before the

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Speaker 2: hospitalization and the day after she got out, I told

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Speaker 2: her to get her own account because if we went

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Speaker 2: to go out to lunch or something, he would venmo

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Speaker 2: her like fifty dollars or whatever.

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Speaker 1: He is like an allowance? Does he controls all the money?

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Speaker 2: Okay, here you go.

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Speaker 1: Here's fifty bucks to go do whatever.

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Speaker 2: I said. Wait, you work full time and he gives

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Speaker 2: you an allowance. No, no, get your own account, and

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Speaker 2: when when bills are due, you can give him the

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Speaker 2: amount needed. Okay, okay, great, So they went out. Sally

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Speaker 2: said that Jack will give her money, but then Op

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Speaker 2: was like, no, no, no, you can do. You're a strong,

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Speaker 2: confident woman. You need to have your own And I

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Speaker 2: know she's good with making sure the girls have clothes

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Speaker 2: that fit them and are clean, because I've known them

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Speaker 2: long enough to see that. She also has said that

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Speaker 2: he's been argumentative and very cold towards her taking a

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Speaker 2: turn o. A month or two ago, Jack was going

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Speaker 2: to an event within walking distance of my house, so

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Speaker 2: I met up with him and we had a long time.

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Speaker 2: He basically told me he wishes he were born a

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Speaker 2: woman and wants to date man. WHOA, it's like developing

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Speaker 2: even more. We had a good heart to heart and

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Speaker 2: I told him that I will be supportive of him,

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Speaker 2: but he needs to stop being a wiener to Sally,

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Speaker 2: and he agreed and admitted that he had been treating

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Speaker 2: her badly. She said he was more kind to her,

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Speaker 2: but it only lasted a week. Yeah, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: it's coming though, right for Honestly, since then, he's been

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Speaker 2: sometimes good, sometimes awful. But worst of all, he's starting

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Speaker 2: to blow off the kids. No, that's not good. That

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Speaker 2: is worst of all. He also never was a drinker

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Speaker 2: as long as I've known him, but Sally said, he'll

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Speaker 2: come home with a six pack and it'll be completely

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Speaker 2: gone the next day, multiple days in a row.

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Speaker 1: Whoa horrible turn Yes.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. She ended up kicking him out last

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Speaker 2: week because he showed up late to their younger daughter's

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Speaker 2: soccer game. And didn't even stand on the same side

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Speaker 2: of field as her. And then after the game, their

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Speaker 2: daughter was crying and begging him to have a family

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Speaker 2: movie night, but he said no because he had plans. No,

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Speaker 2: not the daughter, because the kids are young. The kids

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Speaker 2: are twelve and fifteen. Yeah, twelve years old. That's so sad. Also,

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Speaker 2: Sally was sitting next to Jack's father at the game

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Speaker 2: and he asked her why she looked so upset, and

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Speaker 2: she ended up telling him everything, telling the dad everything.

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Speaker 2: She wasn't telling him or any of Jack's family anything

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Speaker 2: in depth because she didn't want to add any more

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Speaker 2: family drama and was trying to work something out and

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Speaker 2: figured if Jack wanted them to know anything, he would

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Speaker 2: tell them himself. And it was actually Jack's father who

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Speaker 2: suggested kicking him out. Wow, So I'm guessing that means

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Speaker 2: like she told him how poorly Jack was treating him,

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Speaker 2: but also probably not trying to like out Jack to

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Speaker 2: his family. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. So

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Speaker 2: I did reach out to Jack and said if he

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Speaker 2: needs anyone to talk to, I'm here. But also when

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Speaker 2: things were good between him and Sally, we made plans

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Speaker 2: Jack and I to go see a local band, which

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Speaker 2: she knows about. This is where I need my ad

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Speaker 2: My little brother, who I haven't seen a lot lately

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Speaker 2: because he's near the city and doesn't have a car,

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Speaker 2: and my car started having issues this year. Literally just

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Speaker 2: got a new one the other day. We'll be at

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Speaker 2: the show, and we made plans to all meet up beforehand.

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Speaker 2: These plans were all made before she kicked him out

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Speaker 2: and before he started blowing off the kids. I also

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Speaker 2: feel bad because I'm very pro LGBT being LGBT myself,

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Speaker 2: and I've been going through my clothes because I've lost

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Speaker 2: some weight. I'm putting away summer clothes and getting fall

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Speaker 2: winter clothes out. So I want to give him some

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Speaker 2: of my feminine clothes that I don't wear anymore and

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Speaker 2: don't fit me. So should I still go with him

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Speaker 2: to the concert? Or should I just bail and go

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Speaker 2: with my brother and risk running into him? Sally knows

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Speaker 2: I still talk to him, but I feel like a

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Speaker 2: trader going to a fun event together. I also said maybe,

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Speaker 2: but then once I found out my brother was going,

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Speaker 2: I said, heck, yeah, I'll definitely go, and we talked

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Speaker 2: about parking at his place and all taking the train.

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Speaker 2: From there. By the way, you can join us live

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Speaker 2: on YouTube every week day three PMPs just to have

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Speaker 2: our profile.

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Speaker 1: Do you go with Jack or do you go with

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Speaker 1: the brother and not say anything?

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Speaker 2: There is like a tiny bit left.

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Speaker 1: What do you do which one?

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Speaker 2: Honestly I would just go. I think I would go

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Speaker 2: to the concert. It'd be a little uncomfortable, but like,

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Speaker 2: at the same time, she knows you still talk to him,

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Speaker 2: she knows like you guys were friends. I don't think

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Speaker 2: that's fully choosing between going.

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Speaker 1: With Jack or just the brother.

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Speaker 2: Both both ill with Jack. You have the plans already,

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Speaker 2: it was before they separated. They're still kind of cool.

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Speaker 2: Her and Jack are still kind of cool. You know,

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Speaker 2: they still talk and stuff. Yeah, even though Jack's not

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Speaker 2: being great, this can kind of be like a you

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Speaker 2: can let this be the last time you hang out

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Speaker 2: with exactly exactly. Yeah. I still care about them both,

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Speaker 2: but when he started being a wiener, I lost respect

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Speaker 2: for him. I also suspect he's lashing out due to

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Speaker 2: gender dysmorphia or identity issues. I know a part of

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Speaker 2: it was the money situation while she was out of work,

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Speaker 2: but she finally has a good job now and that

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Speaker 2: is also why I want to be supportive, but it's

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Speaker 2: hard because he's treating Sally badly, and that's all we get.

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Speaker 2: Wow info we have.

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Speaker 1: Also, if you ever see friends and you're like, I

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Speaker 1: have this on the calendar with them, and you kind

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Speaker 1: of feel like, eh, don't hang out, don't hang out.

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Speaker 1: You should hang out with people you feel excited about. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you want to you can't wait to see them.

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Speaker 2: See. I'm usually the opposite. I'm always like I feel

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Speaker 2: like I should have to. You know, it's the people

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Speaker 2: pleasing I think like, I feel like I have to

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Speaker 2: because I said it.

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Speaker 1: What are you excited whenever you go see them?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? But no, not always. But then I end up

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Speaker 2: having fun. That's the thing.

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Speaker 1: You probably look into that, But I end up having

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Speaker 1: fun and it's okay.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: That's my take, all right, all right, I think she's fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's like choose, Yeah, choosing, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I can see where it's choosing, but just choosing.

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Speaker 2: But and if any problems arise from that, then you

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Speaker 2: deal with it.

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Speaker 1: My coworker just told me we're not friends, So I

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Speaker 1: told her to never speak to me again. So I,

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Speaker 1: twenty six male, have a coworker twenty three female at

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Speaker 1: a small local coffee shop where I work at. I

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Speaker 1: think we have ten employees who I considered myself to

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Speaker 1: be pretty close with, Especially about a year ago. We

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Speaker 1: really did hang out quite a lot. Even as early

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Speaker 1: as a year and a half of the two years

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Speaker 1: I've known her, we would occasionally hang out, while it

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Speaker 1: didn't end up happening. She also tried to plan like

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Speaker 1: a weekend trip with her, myself and a couple others

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Speaker 1: who other coworkers to Denver once. By the way, this

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Speaker 1: comes from IBK Throwaway five eighteen on the rs slash

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Speaker 1: Oo Okay storytime subred. We had a pretty big gap

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of this year where we didn't hang out,

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Speaker 1: but this was mostly just stuff in my life getting

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Speaker 1: in the way. So I hit her up in July

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Speaker 1: seeing if she wanted to get a drink and catch up.

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Speaker 1: She accepted and we plan on going after work one day,

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Speaker 1: but we had to reschedule. Can't remember why, but she

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Speaker 1: suggested we should watch movies at her apartment. So we

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Speaker 1: get there and I met her mom and we all

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Speaker 1: watched deep Blue Sea one and two. Her mom bought

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Speaker 1: me dinner, which was very nice, and I probably was

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Speaker 1: there until midnight. We ended up getting drinks within a

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Speaker 1: few days, and we haven't hung out since that was

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Speaker 1: in July. Recently, I've noticed that she's be kind of

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Speaker 1: this network. For example, we used to chat when she

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Speaker 1: was done with her shift and I was getting it,

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Speaker 1: and she always goes around to everyone who's working and

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Speaker 1: says bye and gets some hugs. But recently she stopped

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Speaker 1: talking to me and giving me a hug before leaving.

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Speaker 1: She kind of waves by and leaves.

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Speaker 2: So she says by to everyone else, but then just

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Speaker 2: waves sopie.

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Speaker 1: So I texted her essentially asking if I hadn't upsetted her,

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Speaker 1: or if not, if there was any insight she could

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Speaker 1: give me as to why she seemed to be dissing

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Speaker 1: herself from me, since I knew she hadn't tried to

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Speaker 1: make any plans with me recently, and every time I

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Speaker 1: texted her, I'd get left un delivered after a single message,

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Speaker 1: so I couldn't make plans. Her response was essentially saying

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Speaker 1: she was uncomfortable with me flirting with her what and

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Speaker 1: she hasn't been prioritizing hanging out with people from work,

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Speaker 1: even though a few weeks back she went and saw

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Speaker 1: a movie with a few coworkers. Literally the day before,

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Speaker 1: she messages me, this also another movie with at least

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Speaker 1: one other coworkers. She's planning on taking your trip out

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Speaker 1: of state in November to go visit one of her

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Speaker 1: old coworkers. BeMoved liar and that she values our friendship

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Speaker 1: professionally as coworkers, without going into much DeTao into how

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Speaker 1: I responded, I had to say a lot. I essentially said, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're more than just coworkers. At this point,

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Speaker 1: we've had several one on one hangouts outside of work,

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Speaker 1: one literally at your apartment that ended up being with

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Speaker 1: your mom. Also brought up to say she isn't prioritizing

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Speaker 1: hanging out with co workers while actively doing so with others.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't make it seem kind of like she isn't prioritizing

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Speaker 1: hanging out with.

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Speaker 2: Me, Like OPI is right, Like they're definitely more than

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Speaker 2: just coworkers, you know, like they're definitely bff. OPI knows

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Speaker 2: her mom right, Like, like that's crazy they hang out

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Speaker 2: like if you know your coworkers mom I've not met

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Speaker 2: any of my coworkers' parents. Like that's wild. Okay, Well

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Speaker 2: yours is different.

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Speaker 1: You also live with their coworkers, so well two, I guess,

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Speaker 1: said Sophia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I feel like that's that's definitely more than

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Speaker 2: just coworkers. Like that makes a lot of sense. You

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Speaker 2: can't just call someone like like what if you just

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Speaker 2: called Sama Sophia, like you just my coworkers. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to hang out with my coworkers.

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Speaker 1: That would be possible.

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Speaker 2: That would call the fight.

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Speaker 1: Okay. On the note of flirting, I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: I could be unintitionally kind of flirting, and I would

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Speaker 1: try to avoid doing so. But I'm just kind of

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Speaker 1: flirty with everyone, but maybe more importantly so she She

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Speaker 1: is a huge casual flirt, which doesn't bother me in

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Speaker 1: the slightest except for when you're gonna say my flirting

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Speaker 1: makes you uncomfortable. I also brought up that her behavior

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Speaker 1: towards me was fairly sudden, and she really only seems

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Speaker 1: to treat me differently when there are others around. When

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Speaker 1: it was just the two of us, she was once

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Speaker 1: again back to just being what felt like relatively close.

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Speaker 1: I think she has a crush from.

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Speaker 2: What I was singing the same thing. I was singing

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Speaker 2: the same thing, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's playing politics and doesn't want to make

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Speaker 1: the other coworker jealous.

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Speaker 2: Wait wait, so she so you think that the coworker

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Speaker 2: has a crush on a different coworker. Yeah, or I

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Speaker 2: was thinking she has a crush on Ope.

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Speaker 1: No, she has a crush on a different coworker.

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Speaker 2: You think you think she had a crush on Ope.

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Speaker 1: She wouldn't treat it differently, you know.

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Speaker 2: But what made me think of it was that, like, uh,

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Speaker 2: I mean, maybe it's a stretch, but I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Like Ope said that she's a flirt too, but then

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Speaker 2: she seems to be projecting saying that. Op is like

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Speaker 2: like she's uncomfortable when she flirts, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: So it's like maybe it's like, oh, P thinks it's

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Speaker 2: just a funny joke, but then the girl is like

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Speaker 2: taking it a little more seriously because she that's how

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Speaker 2: she thinks about it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we got two options here, we know the comments,

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Speaker 1: which one you guys like to figure it out? Let's

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Speaker 1: figure it out. Her response was that she doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to defend how she spends times with coworkers. I didn't

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Speaker 1: ask her to, I was just pointing out she was,

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Speaker 1: while also saying she wasn't prioritizing it, telling me that

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Speaker 1: it puts her in an uncomfortable position when I flirt

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Speaker 1: with her, citing me by telling her things like you've

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Speaker 1: been on my mind lately, or I had a dream

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Speaker 1: about you. Things I tell people who I at least

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Speaker 1: assume I have somewhat of a close relationship with. That

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Speaker 1: one isn't even reserved for my super close friends. I

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Speaker 1: have several other old coworkers who I just like to

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Speaker 1: let know I've been thinking about them, because why wouldn't I.

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Speaker 1: That's just a nice thing. Yeah, Opie sounds so nice,

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Speaker 1: and that literally she just has a professional coworker relationship

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Speaker 1: with everyone, and none of us really know her deep

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Speaker 1: enough to get mad that she won't hug us or

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Speaker 1: hang out. Although I assume most people who would also

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Speaker 1: be upset to be told that essentially she doesn't care

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Speaker 1: about their friendship much. I am also not mad, just

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Speaker 1: confused and her. I responded by addressing all of those

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Speaker 1: points much like I did parenthetically, but more in depth,

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Speaker 1: as pointing out that she never really addressed anything I

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Speaker 1: actually said, so I told her that she shouldn't respond

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Speaker 1: if she's not going to address my concerns, as why

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Speaker 1: did you not bring any of this up when it

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00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 1: started bothering you? Why did I have to get pseudogusted

335
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Speaker 1: by you to know there's a problem, And why all

336
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Speaker 1: of a sudden is any of this an issue, as

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Speaker 1: I've not really changed how I interact with you the

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Speaker 1: entire time I've known you, and we've literally never had

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Speaker 1: a problem.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's because she changed. Oh didn't change,

341
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Speaker 2: she changed.

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Speaker 1: She changed.

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Speaker 2: That's clearly the issue.

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Speaker 1: And you should change how you go about your weeks

345
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,120
Speaker 1: every week by joining us every weekday at three pm

346
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 1: PST on YouTube. Just tap a profile yay. Then, lastly,

347
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Speaker 1: the actual part that made an overreaction, I told her

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Speaker 1: that if she doesn't even see us as friends outside

349
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Speaker 1: of just being a coworker that occasionally you will hang

350
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Speaker 1: out with instead of someone more you actually really enjoy

351
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Speaker 1: being around and care about being outside of our job,

352
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Speaker 1: not to even respond. I've got nothing else to say

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Speaker 1: to her even if that's the case. I just told

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Speaker 1: her bring the few things of mine that she has

355
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Speaker 1: to our job, a book I was letting her borrow

356
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Speaker 1: and a guitar asked her to paint that's a little

357
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,120
Speaker 1: art project, both of which I only did because I

358
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,040
Speaker 1: was under the impression she was my friend. I told

359
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 1: her we could be friendly at work, but I truly

360
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,600
Speaker 1: want nothing to do with her outside of work. If

361
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Speaker 1: she doesn't see me as a friend. Am I overreacting?

362
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Speaker 2: No? I don't think so. I mean if she says

363
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Speaker 2: that she's not your friend, or that you're just coworkers,

364
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 2: and it's like, okay, let me take back my stuff,

365
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 2: let me treat you like a coworker, then like that's

366
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Speaker 2: that's I think a very normal reaction.

367
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 1: No, not overreacting. Yeah, oh it's.

368
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,119
Speaker 2: A mel Okay, Okay, Okay.

369
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 1: I which smell? I thought it said female.

370
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Speaker 2: Were rocks a guy.

371
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,360
Speaker 1: This has been a guy the whole time, Okay, in

372
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Speaker 1: this place, I think that the girl he kind of

373
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 1: likes a girl, and the girl doesn't know how to

374
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Speaker 1: respond to that.

375
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean his behavior has been the same

376
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Speaker 2: the whole time. I mean unless it just got too

377
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 2: far for her at some point, like, oh this has

378
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 2: been going on a long time, Like do you actually

379
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 2: feel this way? Is this actually are you actually flirting

380
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 2: with me? Or is it just jokes? I could honestly

381
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,800
Speaker 2: see that happen. I could see that, Like I know,

382
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 2: I mean, like him being a male, like I guess

383
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,600
Speaker 2: shouldn't change that, but kind.

384
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,840
Speaker 1: Of does it changes it kind of does. Yeah, this

385
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,720
Speaker 1: guy likes you. It seems like the coworker thinks that

386
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,200
Speaker 1: she likes him and she's weirded out. I think she's

387
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 1: weirded out by it because I think maybe the mom.

388
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 1: The mom was like, oh, he's nice.

389
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 2: Oh, I can see that. I mean, we don't really

390
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 2: have any proof or evidence for that, but I could

391
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 2: see that. I could see that happening for sure. Yeah,

392
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 2: I feel like just being a flirt, Like I get

393
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 2: making those jokes and stuff, and like they can be

394
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 2: funny and whatever, but they definitely can't go too far,

395
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 2: especially if you do them for long enough, and then

396
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 2: like other tiny little hints or like little things throughout

397
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 2: the day or throughout your conversations can also hint at

398
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 2: it being more than just a joke. So I can

399
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 2: understand that, but I still don't think it's an over reaction.

400
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 2: Like I guess, yeah, if you think your friends and

401
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 2: then you're like, oh great, I'm not friends with you

402
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 2: anymore then, Yeah, to take your stuff back, Treat him

403
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 2: just like a coworker, don't be mean, just like you know,

404
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,640
Speaker 2: you don't have to go that extra male. Yeah, that's all.

405
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 1: That's all.

406
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's friend is constantly insulting us, but my boyfriend

407
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 2: ignores it. My boyfriend, twenty four male, has a best friend,

408
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 2: also twenty four male. He's known since high school and

409
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,800
Speaker 2: was college housemates with. His friend has a girlfriend twenty

410
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 2: four female. He's been dating for five years. I've been

411
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,880
Speaker 2: dating my boyfriend for a year now. When I first

412
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 2: met the girlfriend, she was fun to be around and

413
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 2: liked talking about sports. Okay, second time I twenty six

414
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,640
Speaker 2: female met the girlfriend, she would pull me aside from

415
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,920
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and try to ask me questions about my

416
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 2: boyfriend and commented weird things. By the way, this comes

417
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 2: from u slash imaginary band one on our slash Okay

418
00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,359
Speaker 2: storytime subreddit. Poor guy, he's so smart and great, but

419
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,320
Speaker 2: he's stuck at his miserable job with no future. You

420
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,679
Speaker 2: must feel bad for him. I hope he can realize

421
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 2: it's worth one day and find something better to do.

422
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 1: Oh, no, oh no.

423
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 2: She'd also say, you know my boyfriend's name is, so

424
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 2: I don't know how to say afraid of me. It's

425
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 2: honestly so funny and cute. Him and her boyfriend's name

426
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 2: are always looking for approval from me, like I'm their mom. Haha.

427
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's name was distant with me at first, but

428
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,880
Speaker 2: I had to nail it in to him that hey,

429
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: my boyfriend can get rid of me, but you can't

430
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 2: get rid of me. You're stuck with seeing me for

431
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 2: life as long as you want to see your best buddy,

432
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 2: so you better act right around me.

433
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 1: That's weird.

434
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 2: Your boyfriend is so easily influenced by me, and usually

435
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 2: all of our hangouts are from me telling him what

436
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 2: to do and who to invite. He didn't tell me

437
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 2: he was going to invite you today, so I wasn't

438
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 2: sure if you were going to be here or not,

439
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 2: and felt weird about asking him since I wasn't sure

440
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,679
Speaker 2: if you guys were still dating. But I'm so happy

441
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 2: that you're here and that you guys are doing good,

442
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: especially since it sounded like you guys were going through

443
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,640
Speaker 2: a rough patch. Me and my boyfriend were never going

444
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: through a rough patch and have never fought before. When

445
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 2: I replayed the relay the information to my boyfriend, he

446
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 2: was shocked and said he doesn't want to hang out

447
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 2: with them anymore. Yeah, that'd be weird. That sounds that's

448
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 2: very uncomfortable. Those are weird things to say, my boyfriend

449
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,560
Speaker 2: told me. She also told his ex that my boyfriend's

450
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,360
Speaker 2: best friend is really bad at spicy sleep and isn't

451
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 2: interested in spicy sleep and makes her have to beg

452
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 2: for it, which struck me as someone who has no

453
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 2: boundaries and has no problem talking about intimate and sensitive

454
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 2: issues about other people with strangers.

455
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: Oh so she's not getting that attention from her BF,

456
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 1: I guess so, and she's trying to get that attention

457
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: from her BF from opp God.

458
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 2: I had my guard up after this. This time, she

459
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 2: found out my number through her boyfriend and insisted that

460
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 2: I bring my boyfriend out to hang out with her

461
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 2: and her boy uh uh uh uh uhh yeah weird.

462
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 2: We live an hour and thirty minutes apart, and my

463
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend had work the next day, but he said he

464
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: wanted to go, so I decided to go to Okay, ready,

465
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 2: I actually don't think I am. When we got there.

466
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 2: Turns out she invited her coworker and six other friends

467
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 2: of hers to a bar without telling them. We made

468
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 2: the drive because she made it sound like we're all

469
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 2: gonna hang out with her and my boyfriend's best friend

470
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 2: and get to know each other better. But I ended

471
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 2: up stuck in a group of girls that I don't

472
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaker 2: know and have nothing in common with in a new

473
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 2: city while my boyfriend was busy catching up with his

474
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 2: best friend that sticks, she's just like left alone. Thankfully,

475
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 2: I was able to strike a conversation with one of

476
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 2: the girls, but it ultimately felt like a really big

477
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: waste of time and efforts. My boyfriend's ex best friend's

478
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 2: girlfriend didn't really seem to think of it as that big.

479
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 3: Of a deal.

480
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 2: While I was there, she talked with me a little bit,

481
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 2: but the only thing she wanted to talk about with

482
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 2: me was about my boyfriend or my relationship with my boyfriend,

483
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 2: and when I tried to steer the conversation away from that,

484
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 2: she would suddenly become uninterested and just go somewhere out. Dang,

485
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 2: that's strange.

486
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 1: That was weird.

487
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 2: Strange. After unsuccessful attempts at getting me to say something

488
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 2: about my boyfriend, At the end of the night, she

489
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 2: pulled me up and said, your boyfriend is so head

490
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 2: over heels in love with you. Me and her boyfriend,

491
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: we're just talking about how we don't even recognize him

492
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 2: anymore with how loving he is with you. I'm saying

493
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 2: this because I saw how he interacted with his ex,

494
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 2: and no one would have even guessed they were dating

495
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 2: with the way he treated her. I'm so happy for you, guys.

496
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 2: He looks really happy. You're so much better for him,

497
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 2: like I guess, but like I don't know, It's just

498
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: it's just weird.

499
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 1: This is weird, uh.

500
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 2: And it struck me as weird because I didn't want

501
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 2: to know anything about his ex and it wasn't any

502
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 2: of my business. And I don't understand why she was

503
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 2: comparing a completely different and unique relationship dynamic against mine

504
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 2: and then sharing it with me in an inappropriate way.

505
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 2: She was saying it in a backhanded compliment style, which

506
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: also made it weird for me to tell her, all, yeah,

507
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 2: that makes sense, because like that sounded like good stuff technically,

508
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: So it's like, you can't really what do you say

509
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 2: to that? You know, how do you respond? When my

510
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 2: boyfriend and me got back. I told him again how

511
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 2: uncomfortable I was with her, especially considering how weird she

512
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 2: was being the last time with me. He said he

513
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,919
Speaker 2: wasn't bothered, and that if I have a problem with her,

514
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: that I can stay home next time and he can

515
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 2: go by himself, or that I should handle it then

516
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 2: in there and tell her to go away or stop

517
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 2: being weird. Okay, get that, but that's just weird to

518
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 2: say in general, Like even if she did say something

519
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: like pretty obvious, like that's just uncomfortable to say to

520
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 2: anyone anyway.

521
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, from the boyfriend's perspective, it seems like there's a

522
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: relationship between the two, So I could see him saying

523
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 1: that's her, and it'd be weird if I went to

524
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 1: my buddy's friend, Like, let's say, like you and John's

525
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 1: girlfriend were like tiffing it out, and I went to

526
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: John and said, hey, like your girl's like doing this.

527
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you in a way.

528
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 1: I see where he's coming from. I would want you

529
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: to talk to her, because there is sort of like that,

530
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: even if you guys aren't vibing or whatever, like in

531
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: that case.

532
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 2: I could see talking to her. But I think I

533
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 2: think then and there. I mean, I don't like confrontations.

534
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 2: So yeah, so then and there I would be uncomfortable,

535
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: but later I could see having another conversation matic like, hey,

536
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: can we talk for a side or something like that.

537
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 2: I told him I don't feel comfortable about him going

538
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: out to see them without me since I feel left

539
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: out and I don't want to confront her and make

540
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,479
Speaker 2: things awkward for everyone andmbarrass myself or my boyfriend. That's

541
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: why I don't like confrontation. It's embarrassing.

542
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 1: It is embarrassing, and also you don't want her to

543
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 1: steal your boyfriend.

544
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Period. But at the same time, it's kind of like, I.

545
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 1: Don't know, dude, I don't trust this woman.

546
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like I feel like, even in that

547
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 2: kind of situation, the boyfriend want to do anything, Well,

548
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 2: it's like she'd trust your boyfriend to do that. Yeah, true,

549
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: but I mean she doesn't need to be there for that,

550
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: but I understand why she would want to be you know.

551
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 2: He said he doesn't mind if I can confront her

552
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: because we're two different individuals and my behavior shouldn't reflect

553
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 2: on his character, and to go ahead and confront her myself.

554
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 2: Then he asked me if I'm worried about her because

555
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 2: she might tell him something that's going to make him

556
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 2: not like me anymore. That's an interesting perspective, but like

557
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 2: she doesn't seem to know her though. Yeah, so like

558
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 2: there's nothing to tell. I'm really hurt. But he was

559
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 2: asking me if I wanted to control him by stopping

560
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: him from seeing his best friend, and that's not what

561
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 2: I want. But his best friend isn't allowed to hang

562
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 2: out with anyone unless his girlfriend is also there in

563
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 2: their package deal, so he doesn't want to be like

564
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: his best friend. I wouldn't want to be like that either.

565
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 2: That is still yeah, that's that's like relationship. No, No,

566
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: you can't have a rule of who your boyfriend can see,

567
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 2: like with or without you.

568
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they live an hour or half away. I

569
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 1: would just try to like slowly break contact.

570
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 2: I feel like also too, it's like she just she

571
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 2: kind of just said like she didn't want to didn't

572
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: want him to go without him without her because she

573
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 2: just would feel left out, which is kind of like

574
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: I get it, but also like yeah, you know, like

575
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: that's just kind of what's gonna happen. My boyfriend said,

576
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: who am I to tell him to leave his girlfriend

577
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: at home when we hang out. What if her being

578
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 2: there makes him the happiest. So he's saying there's no

579
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 2: way he can leave the girlfriend out of the picture,

580
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 2: and he wants to stay friends with his best friend.

581
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 2: He doesn't care about the girlfriend and would never talk

582
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 2: to her again if they broke up one day, But

583
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: for now, he just wants to see his best friend somehow,

584
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 2: and that means dealing with her. By the way, you

585
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: can deal with us every week day three pm because

586
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 2: we're live on YouTube. Just tap our propaty. It makes

587
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 2: me feel inferior and small because of how much power

588
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 2: she has over the dynamic. Well, I have such little

589
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: respect from my boyfriend. It makes me resentful and angry

590
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: at my boyfriend. How would you react to this?

591
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: I definitely have a hard heart conversation. And you know,

592
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: if your partner's open to it, great, but if they're

593
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 1: not open to it, it will be harder. If that

594
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, So, like, if you had an issue

595
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: with John's girlfriend, what would you do?

596
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: Well, that's tough because we are friends.

597
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 1: But you guys are friends. You got like, like, let's

598
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: say she's a completely different person and she's like super

599
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: like this girl.

600
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, I would just deal with it, like

601
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: I feel kind of bad, but I feel like I

602
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 2: don't have that much sympathy for Apie. I'm gonna be

603
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 2: so honest to deal with it because I get it, Like, yeah,

604
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,359
Speaker 2: that's uncomfortable and that's weird, but to do it a lot. Yeah,

605
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: But at the same time, you're kind of it's kind

606
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: of a difficult situation. Like I feel like we're ruling out,

607
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 2: like the options of the solutions we're coming up with

608
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 2: kind of cancel each other out, you know, like either

609
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 2: either he goes with her and the girlfriend doesn't go,

610
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: which she can't control that.

611
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, not at all.

612
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 2: And apparently there's some sort of weird thing in their

613
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 2: relationship where they have to go together. But either that

614
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: happens or she doesn't go and then her boyfriend sees

615
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: his best friend, Like I feel like, but then she

616
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: doesn't want to do that because she, like the first situation,

617
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: can't do it because you can't control that second situation.

618
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 2: She doesn't want to do it because she'd feel left out.

619
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: But it's also like, well, I don't know what to

620
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 2: tell you.

621
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's tough. I just hope that like they're not

622
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: since they're not very close together or like distance wise,

623
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 1: deal with it.

624
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: That's exactly.

625
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe talk to her about your conversation thing and

626
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 1: be like, I'm not like you just have to yes,

627
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 1: do right.

628
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 2: All you gotta do is you you have to either

629
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 2: deal with feeling left out or deal with talking to

630
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: the weird girlfriend or plant or you can't still talk

631
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 2: to the girlfriend and confront her about all this.

632
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: Or go evil and make a revenge plot where she gets,

633
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: you know it, breaks up with the boy.

634
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 2: Answer, I like that one. Do that? Do that? Just

635
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: like do evil plot? There there we go, Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sam.

636
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 2: Here we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

637
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: three of its bads from our sponsors.

638
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 3: I just found out how my ex'es mom is treating

639
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 3: our kids mosquito bites. I'm calling the cops. You should,

640
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 3: let's concern them over here, call the cops on mosquitoes.

641
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 3: I found this out, like I do most things about

642
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 3: life with their mother through the kids male seven and

643
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 3: female five. As communication has been pretty much non existent

644
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 3: between the X and I since are split sixty years ago.

645
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 2: Yike.

646
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 3: Yet, I think when you have kids you kind of

647
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 3: gotta work that out.

648
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems kind of important.

649
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 3: Before anyone jumps to conclusions, No, I don't ever press

650
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 3: my kids for information. I've worked very hard to establish

651
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 3: an uninhibited, open, no topic is off limits type of

652
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 3: relationship with my kids, even though I've only got them

653
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 3: every other weekend. I want them to feel comfortable enough

654
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 3: to fully express themselves and speak their mind freely around me.

655
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a whole lot a

656
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 3: lonely on the r slash okay, storytime separated. This has

657
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 3: led to several discoveries about certain aspects of the life

658
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: that their mother has asked them not to reveal to me,

659
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 3: something I am very much against. I don't believe any

660
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 3: child should have to hold secrets between their parents. It

661
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 3: isn't their responsibility and is something I would never.

662
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 2: Ask of them.

663
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 3: That being said, they've come out with nuggets of wisdom,

664
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 3: such as, we shouldn't be drinking tap water because the

665
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 3: government puts chemicals in there that makes us docile and obedient.

666
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 3: This is a five and a seven year old in

667
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: tap water. They're saying, oh my god, oh my god,

668
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 3: Santa isn't real, but Jesus is, and the Bible is

669
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: one hundred percent fact controversial topic. I understand, and most

670
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: recently that the government says turpentine is poison, but it's

671
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 3: actually good for you.

672
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: Make that makes sense. What if she's using turpentine on

673
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: these mosquito bites? Is that what we're gonna find out?

674
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: I am now really worried that's what we're gonna find out.

675
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: I'm so curious. What the hell do I do here?

676
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: If I speak to my ex about this or even

677
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 3: let slip that I know it's going on, she isn't

678
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 3: going to have an honest conversation about it with me,

679
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: and I fear that she'll just press the kids even

680
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 3: harder to keep things from me. I don't want their

681
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: heads filled with this rubbish or but I feel so

682
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 3: powerless stop this. All I can do is try to

683
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 3: teach them to think critically, but that is only going

684
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: to be so effective when they're getting told all this

685
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 3: nonsense is fact.

686
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 2: There is an edit.

687
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 3: I spoke to my children about it and recorded the

688
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 3: conversation to ensure there was no confusion about what was

689
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 3: being said. They were being fed a spoonful of turpentine

690
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 3: every day by their nana for the past four weeks

691
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 3: while they were all away on holidays, but there is

692
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 3: zero chance Max wasn't aware this was happening. Definitely turpentine,

693
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 3: one hundred percent pure gum turpentine, my boy said, the

694
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: bottle red. Oh my god, the distilled stuff, he said.

695
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: They even started singing that Mary Popin' song A spoonful

696
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: of sugarheads.

697
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 2: Chopentine go down. Stop.

698
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 3: It feels like I'm in an alternate timeline. Thank you

699
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 3: everyone for being so helpful. I appreciate it so much.

700
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: And there is another edit. Talk screen won't be happening

701
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: until we get a referral. Poison Hotline has no literature

702
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 3: on hand for chronic exposure to turpentine, let alone in children,

703
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 3: but the kids don't seem symptomatic. We will be visiting

704
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 3: either a GP or the hospital first thing tomorrow for

705
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 3: a full checkup, and a report will be made separately

706
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 3: to that of the medical mandatory report. I don't really

707
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: see a scenario playing out where CPS isn't getting involved here,

708
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 3: and I can't not have my kids medically assessed knowing

709
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 3: that this has been going on currently preparing for the

710
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: crap storm that's bound to ensure and there is an update.

711
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 3: So I just found out through my kids that my

712
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 3: ex wife has been feeding them turpentine mixed with sugar

713
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 3: or honey as a way to worm them. Worm them.

714
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: What is she planning?

715
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 3: They are seven male and five female. Reading up on

716
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 3: what it does if you ingest it, because who the

717
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 3: hell would ever think it's a good idea to drink

718
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 3: pink dinner as medicine. It can be devastating in a

719
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 3: doesn't take a whole lot to mess you up, especially

720
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 3: if you're a child. I think one tablespoon could potentially

721
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 3: be enough to change your life kind of messed up.

722
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

723
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 3: I don't think talking to the ex is going to

724
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 3: yield any results, and realistically, I don't even expect her

725
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: to be honest about it anyway. My only evidence so

726
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 3: far is the second hand account of the testimony of

727
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 3: a seven year old boy. He told my mom and

728
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: his grandma, and she went and told me, do I

729
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: have any legal options here? Should I be collecting evidence?

730
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 3: And if so, what kind? I honestly don't know what

731
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: to do. I can't have my kids being fed literal poison.

732
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 3: And to top it off, they were saying, yeah, the

733
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 3: government tells us it's poison, but it's actually good for you.

734
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 3: These children are brainwashed.

735
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, they're five years old and seven.

736
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 3: That is so mind blowing. What do you know about

737
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,719
Speaker 3: the government. Yeah, this isn't the first time they've come

738
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 3: out with little nuggets of conspiracy soak wisdom like this

739
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 3: tap water makes you docile and obedient sort of stuff.

740
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 3: But this one is truly terrifying. They were meant to

741
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: go back to their mother today, but I've got them

742
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 3: in my care until next weekend due to an undisclosed

743
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 3: emergency that my ex sprung on me about an hour ago.

744
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 3: Never mind that I'm starting a new job tomorrow and

745
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 3: wasn't prepared in any way to look after them for

746
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 3: a week with no notice. But please, if anyone here

747
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 3: can give me a few tips or pointers, I would

748
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 3: be so grateful. I'm stressing pretty bad about this. I

749
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 3: don't know what to do.

750
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 4: Edit.

751
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 3: I'm located in Victoria, Australia, if that makes any difference

752
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 3: situation now. I wanted to book in for a talk

753
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 3: screen in blood work, but would have to travel two

754
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 3: hours to get it done, the only other option being

755
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 3: police and CPS, both unfavorable options or seeing a GP.

756
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: What am I in here for?

757
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 3: What damage would chronic ingestion of turpentine cause a seven

758
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 3: year old or a five year old? What are the

759
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 3: things I should look out for? Would turpentine even show

760
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 3: up in a screen in such a small volume? And

761
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 3: if there's an an you want to hear from Victoria,

762
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 3: would a GP be able to help initiate a talk screen?

763
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 3: The kids have been medically assessed, woo good to hear.

764
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 3: They've had blood work done, testing for liver and kidney

765
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: function as well as any other abnormalities, and have undergone

766
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 3: some minor testing. Thankfully, everything has come back clear and

767
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: they seem to be happy and in good health.

768
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: Oh good.

769
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 3: Apart from my daughter being a little upset about being

770
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 3: job with needles, that's well, you know. There were, however,

771
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 3: some very concerning statements made by my kids to the

772
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 3: doctors who screen them, both with and without any family present.

773
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 3: Everything said has been transcribed and documented in their discharge papers.

774
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 3: CPS has been informed of the situation, The situation has

775
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: been reported to the police, and a medical release statement

776
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 3: has been filed with them. They told me they would

777
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 3: remain in contact with CPS and wait for their lead.

778
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 3: The kids are legally staying within the care of myself

779
00:33:56,640 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 3: and my family until further notice from Child Services. At

780
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 3: this point in time, I've had no contact with my

781
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: ex since this all came about. I have a tip

782
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 3: on a great family law legal representative whom I will

783
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 3: contact in the very near future to discuss my steps

784
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 3: moving forward and about making a claim for primary custodial care.

785
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 3: My family fully supports this decision and we are still

786
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 3: incredibly shocked about this whole scenario. I am on the

787
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 3: verge of having an absolute meltdown, but things actually seem

788
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 3: okay for now. My kids are safe.

789
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 2: Oh good. Yeah.

790
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 3: I couldn't be more grateful for how supportive my family

791
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 3: and friends have been over the last couple of days.

792
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 3: Thank you to everyone who gave me their advice and support.

793
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 3: I appreciate every one of you, and please don't feed

794
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 3: your children Turbentine. Just an update on things since everything

795
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: went down, and maybe provide a little clarity on a

796
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 3: few key details. Not that it's necessary to me that

797
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 3: you believe my story read it being what it isn't all,

798
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 3: but bear with me as I haven't really spoken about

799
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 3: the topic with anyone outside of my partner and a

800
00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 3: very very long time. There will be a few additional

801
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 3: details that won't be mentioned for discretionary reasons and active

802
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 3: actions currently in place.

803
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 2: Not very brief.

804
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 3: Sorry. I'll start by stating that the kids have been

805
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 3: in my full care since the first post and are

806
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 3: very happy and healthy. The mother has placed the entirety

807
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 3: of the blame on the grandmother, and I'll buy it.

808
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 3: I'll buy it and remain steadfast in that stance to

809
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 3: this very day. The month prior to my post, they

810
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 3: spent camping as a family, the kids and their mom's

811
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: immediate family. They spent that entire time in her care,

812
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 3: and there was no way she wasn't privy to what

813
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 3: was happening every goddamn day. The kids had an effing

814
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 3: song to sing about it, all substantiated in statements taken

815
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 3: from them. So, as a few have speculated, yes, this

816
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 3: happened in Regional Victoria, a couple hours from Melbourne. The

817
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 3: hospital here could have taken the kids in for screening

818
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 3: through er, but they didn't have the facilities to actually

819
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 3: test the blood work on site. The turnaround for a results,

820
00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 3: I was told would have been a few days p

821
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 3: possibly longer as it had to get sent off. Alternatively, Alternatively,

822
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 3: I could have just waited until the following day to

823
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 3: make the trip to the New Yarest facility that was

824
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 3: capable of producing some same day results. We took that option.

825
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 3: The kids for triage the following day through r tested

826
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 3: for organ functionality. Blood work came back clean. They were

827
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 3: privately spoken to and assessed by an on site well

828
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 3: being officers or whatever their title was, and CPS was

829
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 3: contacted through the hospital and a case opened. Note yes

830
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 3: we do the We do call them child Protection here,

831
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 3: even though they operate under the dff H manner Department

832
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 3: of Families, Fairness and Housing, But so does Community Housing

833
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 3: and Disability Support in tangent with NDIS. So do with

834
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 3: that information as you will. It's a broad department. We

835
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 3: left with the medical reports, which included statements given by

836
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 3: the children and holy f were they being fed some

837
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 3: wild facts about the world.

838
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, does it have examples?

839
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 3: That night I made an informal statement at the local

840
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: police station stating what the situation was and the actions taken,

841
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 3: just so they had it on record. For those tracking

842
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 3: the chronology of all this, we are roughly thirty hours

843
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,760
Speaker 3: into the timeline from me first finding out Wow. CPS

844
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 3: conducted several interviews over the next few months with all

845
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 3: parties involved, as well as a house call to my residents.

846
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 3: Not sure how extensively they interviewed. The month, they concluded

847
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 3: the children unfit to be in the mother's care, but

848
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 3: were comfortable in closing their case should they remain with

849
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 3: me full time. Surprizingly, there was no legal order to

850
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 3: put in place. Apparently they're happy to move on from

851
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 3: a situation once comfortable with the results. Are is the

852
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 3: mom and did Gramma not being put in jail? Yeah?

853
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: What's going on with that?

854
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 3: It's just being dropped, That's what it sounds like. This

855
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 3: is found a good law firm and started the legal process,

856
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 3: which has been very slow due to an unsurprising lack

857
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 3: of con cooperation. Essentially, though we have restricted the mother's

858
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 3: access to supervise visitation and moved her parental right as

859
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 3: a legal actor regarding medical decision, she has only seen

860
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 3: them a handful of times in the two years following,

861
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 3: despite constant efforts to facilitate visitation. The kids have had

862
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 3: therapy and I've spent many, many hours talking to them

863
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 3: over the last two years, helping them navigate their way

864
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 3: through this. They'll have a lot of questions they'll expect

865
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 3: answers for when they're older, I'm sure. Currently we have

866
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 3: managed to secure a scheduled visitation with the mother through

867
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 3: a professional contact center which facilitates supervised visits, and we

868
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 3: can facilitate a supervised visit from you live every weekday

869
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: through PMPST just tab her profile. It has been an

870
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 3: efing wild ride, but we are incredibly lucky and happy

871
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 3: to have the strong family unit we currently do, including

872
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 3: my partner and her daughter, who have been next to

873
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 3: us through most of this process. Please teach your kids

874
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 3: it's safe to be honest and open with you.

875
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 2: Yeah the story.

876
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 3: Make sure your kids can talk to you because they

877
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 3: might be being fed turpentine and you have no idea

878
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 3: and you have no idea, have no idea, yike. I

879
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,320
Speaker 3: really hope that these the mother and the grandmother we like,

880
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 3: get some jail time.

881
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, some some other.

882
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 3: Consequences rather than other than like the kids being taken

883
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 3: away from them, right, which that's like a.

884
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 2: Pretty effective and kind of big consequence. I don't know

885
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 2: legally if they would be gone like put in jail.

886
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: I don't know it's legally, like you literally were feeding

887
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 2: your kids poisons. They're like poisoning them. I want to

888
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 2: know how old the grandmother is. Yeah, I don't know

889
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 2: how how much. I don't want to know where she's

890
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 2: at with her like mental Yeah, you know what I mean.

891
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: If she has like yeah, that's what I'm thinking, Like,

892
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,439
Speaker 2: what if she has dementia? Turpentine yes, yeah, and she's

893
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 2: like back in nine eighteen when we had the influenza.

894
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just took a spoonful of turmitie and.

895
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: Then we were all better. But some people I diaostly,

896
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 2: it was fine.

897
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, a strong survive right, But that is the end

898
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 3: of that story.

899
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: I got a new boyfriend, so my ex hacked into

900
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 2: my accounts and deleted everything.

901
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 3: I don't think he's handling the breakup well, yeah, I.

902
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: Don't think so. I twenty one female, was dating someone

903
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: twenty one male for a year. We hit it off

904
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 2: really well when we first started, and at the time

905
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 2: I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship

906
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 2: with someone else. However, after December of twenty twenty two,

907
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 2: things were in nothing but downhill. My boyfriend at the

908
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 2: time had gotten kicked out of his father's house, so

909
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 2: he was living with me in my grandmother's house for

910
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: a short period. How old is Sopea at that time

911
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: twenty one? Yeoh, I know a lot. Yeah. Unfortunately I

912
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: ended up getting kicked out of there for a lot

913
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 2: of things that also happened within my family. So I

914
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 2: moved back in with my parents while my boyfriend moved

915
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: in with his brother a month or so after. By

916
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from U slash Arilyn on the

917
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: r slash okay storytime sub reddit. So while he stayed

918
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 2: with his brother, uh, he got a job at Wendy's.

919
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: But I noticed that his demeanor towards me started to

920
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: change rapidly. He would yell at me a lot for

921
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: defending myself in regards to his friends, would block me

922
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 2: at any time an argument took place over silly things,

923
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: and he even broke up with me before because I

924
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 2: had asked him for fifty dollars for laundry after doing

925
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: his laundry and my own when we were living together.

926
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 2: I never understood why he changed or why he acted

927
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: this way, but this past month and three weeks really

928
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: take the cake. So fast forward to November we had

929
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 2: already gotten back together. At this point, he was playing

930
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 2: yu gi Oh Master Duel with his friends and he

931
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: was losing, typical loser. I tried asking him why he

932
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 2: was upset, but he got angry with me and then

933
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 2: claimed the next day that I was condescending and because

934
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 2: of that, we are no longer together. Then later in

935
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 2: the month, he had asked me to pick him up

936
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 2: from work because he had a horrible day, and on

937
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: the way to him, he said that things have changed

938
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 2: since the separation. I only hang around you when I

939
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 2: have nothing better to do or I'm bored. After he

940
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 2: said that, I was crushed and even decided I didn't

941
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 2: want to sellelebrate my birthday the time the twenty seventh came.

942
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: That's really sad. Don't even want to celebrate your birthday.

943
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 2: I always want to celebrate my birthday. We officially called

944
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 2: things off when the yugi oh thing took place, but

945
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 2: I really told him off after he said that comment.

946
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: So my birthday. So by my birthday, it has been

947
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: clear that we were broken up. I had a friend

948
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 2: in college, nineteen mail who's the same age as my

949
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 2: baby sister. We hit it off and got really close

950
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: as we were working on my college project for my final.

951
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 2: My ex didn't like that at all, going as far

952
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 2: as to hack into my Google account two nights ago

953
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:38,240
Speaker 2: and delete all of my files. No, even the late essay.

954
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 2: I had just turned into my professor, so he couldn't

955
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 2: access the file at all. Again, how did he? How

956
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 2: does he have your password or something? Yeah? Maybe she yeah,

957
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: maybe she like signed into something on his computer or

958
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 2: something like that, like to watch them. I don't know.

959
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 3: It's like, who would expect someone to do something that rage?

960
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 2: That is crazy? I was in curiated because he deleted

961
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 2: a whole semesters and then some with worth of work.

962
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: Even my resumes were gone, so I had to contact

963
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 2: Google Assistance to get all my files back. I mean

964
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 2: sounds like, okay, if that were told me that work,

965
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 2: if that were yeah, mind dude. This is after already

966
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 2: having an argument the night before where things escalated and

967
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 2: he got physical with me. He came to get his

968
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 2: stuff the other night and apologized for everything and wouldn't

969
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:29,359
Speaker 2: stop crying. Oh who cares? Wherever you go? Who? Yeah?

970
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: I consoled him, but I told him I needed to

971
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 2: be away from him, and I didn't want to speak

972
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 2: to him because this stuff hurt and had I not

973
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 2: gotten gotten back my files, I would have likely failed

974
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: my very first semester of college. Oh now I don't

975
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 2: know what to do because it hurts a lot. And

976
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 2: though he said he understood, he got mad at me

977
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: for not talking to him yesterday even though he knows

978
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: he's restricted and blogged everywhere. So am I the a hole?

979
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 2: And there is an update Jesus, it's been over three

980
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 2: months since I uploaded this. Thank you for your opinions everyone.

981
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 2: I do have a huge update on said matters, so

982
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: I'll try to sum it up as much as I can. So,

983
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 2: my ex tried to leak explicit images of me after

984
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: my trip to North Carolina, and this is you can

985
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 2: also like charge him for another thing, absolutely another charge

986
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: to add to Yeah. I also found out on Christmas

987
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 2: my ex had done things with my cousin what and

988
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: they both lied to me after I went to my

989
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 2: cousin and vented. So there's that little sum up. Currently,

990
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: I'm with someone else twenty three mail and I haven't

991
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: heard from my ex or my cousin after finding out

992
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: everything and confronting them. As far as my schoolwork goes,

993
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: I'm currently doing my spring semester and still trying to

994
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: pick up the pieces bit by bit, but I've been

995
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,959
Speaker 2: healing and mentally I'm in a better situation. Thanks again

996
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 2: for those who have listened. And there still is another update, man,

997
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 2: But I'm so glad that yeah, opas and my hopefully

998
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: better boyfriend now yeah, and that she hasn't heard from

999
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 2: the old boyfriend. No, like if you, I do. I mean,

1000
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 2: I still think that.

1001
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 3: You should file a police report because there's been a

1002
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,240
Speaker 3: lot of really terrible, horrible behavior.

1003
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 2: Yes, hi, everyone wore I get into what I need

1004
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: assistance with. I want to first take this time and

1005
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: thank everyone who responded last time to both my other posts.

1006
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: I appreciate all the advice given money, and it's helped

1007
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 2: me use Reddit as a way to release now onto

1008
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 2: the issue at hand. No, I don't want issues, I

1009
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 2: want only positives. So I took everyone's advice and I

1010
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 2: stopped talking to the X in question, but they were

1011
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 2: still talking to each other. I guess, I don't know.

1012
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 2: Maybe after like the first initial yes, before the first EFFODT,

1013
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 2: I hope so hopefully. However, a lot has happened in

1014
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 2: between then and now. My ex couldn't handle us not

1015
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 2: being together and decided to not only leak explicit images

1016
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,760
Speaker 2: of me on an old account I used to control.

1017
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 2: Don't worry, I was able to delete it and kick

1018
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: him out of all the accounts he had access to.

1019
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 2: I also found out the night before he leaked these

1020
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 2: videos and photos that he had done it with my

1021
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: cousin on Christmas night. After she reassured me, with me

1022
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 2: and my at the time friend nineteen female, that she

1023
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 2: would talk to him and help me find the middle

1024
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: ground because of his behavior, she did more than talk, yeah,

1025
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 2: a lot more.

1026
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 3: She was like, I'm the middle ground, right.

1027
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: She knew about him deleting my schoolwork, hacking into my

1028
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 2: other stuff, and being physically and emotionally abusive towards me.

1029
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,720
Speaker 2: She actually spoke up on me leaving him a few times,

1030
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 2: and she said she was proud when I finally made

1031
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 2: the move to do so, but but.

1032
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 3: Her thought process was still, that is the guy that

1033
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 3: I want to be.

1034
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 2: With, right, She was like, break up with him so

1035
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 2: that I could, I could take him, I could date

1036
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 2: it him, We'll find a middle ground. Oh my gosh,

1037
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 2: that's crazy. When I found out that she slept with

1038
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: my ex. I confronted her due to the fact that

1039
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 2: a few days before this, she had admitted to me

1040
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 2: that they kissed, but swore to me that that's all

1041
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: they did and they just had a few drinks and

1042
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 2: apologized why.

1043
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 3: Are they why is he still around her family?

1044
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 2: Really really leave? That's so frustrating. Immediately, obviously that wasn't

1045
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,959
Speaker 2: the case anymore. It's actually pretty funny. I was playing

1046
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 2: Mario Kart with my friends and my ex somehow texted

1047
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,320
Speaker 2: me on Snapchat from a different account, and his exact

1048
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 2: words were, I'm gonna f up your night. Me and

1049
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 2: your cousin didn't just kiss, We spicy slept together, along

1050
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 2: with a bunch of other colorful work. He also said

1051
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 2: he was doing this since she had made it clear

1052
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 2: we weren't cool anymore. I'd also like to point out

1053
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 2: that this was during my first vacation, so I was

1054
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 2: not at home during any of this. When I finally

1055
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 2: reached home, however, my cousin argued with me on Snapchat,

1056
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 2: just trying to justify her actions, and argued with my friends,

1057
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 2: saying disrespectful things about her family. It was a lot,

1058
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 2: and after that we didn't speak to each other. For

1059
00:47:55,040 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 2: another couple months, that makes sense, Yeah, really yeah? After this, however,

1060
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: give it maybe March or April ish I decided to give.

1061
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 2: I decided to forgive her and move on from everything

1062
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 2: for my mental health, but to keep her at distance

1063
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 2: due to me not wanting to open up again. She however,

1064
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 2: didn't like that and insisted that it wasn't fair that

1065
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 2: I didn't want to listen and how I let my

1066
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 2: friend slut shame her due to what she did, and

1067
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 2: refused to understand the point I was making. So it

1068
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 2: broke out into an all out war with my ex

1069
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: somehow getting access to one of my alternative accounts telling

1070
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 2: me to stop talking to my cousin, which let me

1071
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 2: know that they were still talking. So by that point

1072
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 2: I dropped it all together.

1073
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 3: This is, oh, my goodness, your cousin's crazy, your ex

1074
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: is crazy. You're literally just trying to move on, and

1075
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 3: they're both like, no, we won't let you. We're gonna

1076
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 3: drag you back into the mud.

1077
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 2: Right. It's oh, so icky, so icky.

1078
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 4: Now.

1079
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 3: Also apparently that like the side part of the story

1080
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 3: is that the ex boyfriend is like an amazing hacker.

1081
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 3: He ACKed like who things.

1082
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 2: Now Now months later, my cousin has messaged my Instagram

1083
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 2: after months of not talking to me, saying she wants

1084
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: to reconcile and says it's unfair that I was willing

1085
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: to drop it and forgive my ex and not her first,

1086
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 2: even though I did forgive her first, and she chose

1087
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 2: to not listen to me of course, and basically that

1088
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: because we're family, I should be able to reach out

1089
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 2: to her and forgive her, like what do you want?

1090
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 2: Like she did forgive you. I don't. I don't understand.

1091
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 2: I upfront told her that if we were family, you

1092
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: wouldn't have done what you did to me and lied

1093
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 2: to my face. I haven't spoken to her since that day,

1094
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 2: but she keeps apologizing and telling me she loves me

1095
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 2: and my friend, who I don't speak to anymore. I

1096
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 2: don't know what to do here, but you know what

1097
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 2: you can do is join us live on YouTube every

1098
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 2: weekday at three pm PST, just top our profile. I

1099
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 2: don't want to talk to her, but I don't want

1100
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 2: to essentially abandon someone I've grown up with for years.

1101
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 2: I have lots of mismixed emotions, so would I be

1102
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 2: the a hole for not talking to.

1103
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 3: Her honestly, I think you need to go no contact

1104
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 3: with her. Yeah, she's a really unhealthy part of your life.

1105
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 3: I think she's constantly dragging you back into drama that

1106
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 3: you're trying to run away from.

1107
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that she's the a hole for just

1108
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 2: stepping back from all of that at all.

1109
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 3: I think that the cousin is trying to be absolved

1110
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 3: of her like sins and her guilt, yeah, by asking

1111
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 3: ope to like talk to her. Yeah, but she hasn't

1112
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 3: made any action, like actionable attempts to improve her behaviors exactly.

1113
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 2: Like, maybe after some time, because they are family like,

1114
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,240
Speaker 2: I feel like because of their like close part proximity

1115
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 2: and like visiting families like that, after a long time,

1116
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 2: you would be able to figure something out now, especially

1117
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 2: if she is apologizing and she does want a relationship

1118
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 2: with you again. Yeah, but that's the end of that story.

1119
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 4: Woe.

1120
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 2: Hey y'all, it's John Ogi host here. We're gonna get

1121
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute

1122
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 2: break from as for more sponsors.

1123
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 3: My fiance just found out that I used to be

1124
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 3: engaged to a man.

1125
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 2: Now she's freaking out. How dare you?

1126
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 3: Oh man, dare you I twenty nine. Mail lost my

1127
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 3: fiance four years ago in a car accident. He and

1128
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 3: I were both twenty five at the time and had

1129
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 3: been together since we were nineteen. If soulmates were real,

1130
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 3: he was mine. He was stubborn, he preferred away earlier

1131
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 3: bedtime than I did, and he was a major homebody

1132
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: and I loved all of it. He would stay up

1133
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 3: with me until he was sure I fell asleep, and

1134
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 3: weekly movie theater outings planned by him became a thing

1135
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 3: like a month this meeting. Oh, by the way, this

1136
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 3: comes from poetry sonnets on the Arslashoky, Storytime, Subbred. So

1137
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 3: I am a fundamentally different person, both because I met

1138
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 3: him and because of my grief. I was show him

1139
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 3: what real love and effort and care feels like. I

1140
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 3: also don't talk about him. I go to therapy once

1141
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 3: a week. Otherwise it's silent on that topic from me.

1142
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:53,240
Speaker 2: That's hard.

1143
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 3: It's like someone who's like such a was such an

1144
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 3: important part of your life. Yeah, and you still obviously

1145
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 3: love right, he lives on in me in the ways

1146
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 3: I try to emulate him. I practice the patience he

1147
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 3: had that I always struggled to find. I go after

1148
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 3: career related opportunities that scare me because I know he

1149
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 3: would encourage me to. Sometimes I let myself stay in

1150
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 3: bed because I know he'd be gentle with me and

1151
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 3: let me do that too. But I don't talk about him,

1152
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 3: and I probably never will. I'll make the occasional oh

1153
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 3: ex would have loved this comment when I'm with friends

1154
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 3: who knew him well, with strangers nothing. My friends and

1155
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 3: family respect that as well. I'm engaged again. My fiance

1156
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 3: thirty one female, obviously knows I was engaged before. I

1157
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 3: pretty much told her my last partner passed away and

1158
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 3: I don't talk about it. I don't use social media

1159
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 3: and any real capacity anymore. But she happened to stumble

1160
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 3: upon an old Instagram profile of mine recently and saw

1161
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 3: him heavily featured. This led to her accusing me of

1162
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 3: purposely keeping this from her. I don't really see why

1163
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 3: his gender matters, and I told her so. She said,

1164
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 3: I've broken her trust. Times like these are when I

1165
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 3: long for the life I was living before, but grief

1166
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 3: fed up my brain, so I'm not sure if I'm

1167
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 3: being sensitive an edit. She knew I'm the only thing

1168
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 3: she didn't know was that my fiance was a man,

1169
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:16,520
Speaker 3: and there is an update. I mean, I don't think

1170
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 3: OPI's done anything wrong here. Never asked him, oh if

1171
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 3: she knew he was rul She never said like, oh,

1172
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 3: what gender was your beyonce and specifically like never lied.

1173
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 2: Just like right, And it's like, well, if you're okay

1174
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 2: with your like partner being tolled, then like, why is

1175
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 2: it such a problem that he dated and we're engaged

1176
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 2: to the other gender. It was a practice. You don't

1177
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 2: like it right, right, Like, I don't know that just

1178
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 2: doesn't that's not a big issue, no, or like nothing

1179
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 2: that you would need to inform someone about.

1180
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 3: I figured I go ahead and post an update before

1181
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 3: I returned to my all lurk no post comment Reddit life. Yesterday,

1182
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 3: I had an emergency therapy session because I was spiraling

1183
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 3: and didn't feel prepared to tackle the upcoming conversation with

1184
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 3: my fiance without one. It was hard, but necessary, as

1185
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 3: I was finally honest about just how much I was

1186
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 3: compartmentalizing my grief. It laid the foundation for where I'd

1187
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 3: like to go moving forward. Now I have to put

1188
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 3: in the legwork. The few hours between my therapy appointment

1189
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 3: and my fiance getting off work was evidence of just

1190
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 3: how avoidant I've become. It was a conversation we needed,

1191
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 3: but definitely not one I wanted. I'm glad that Op's

1192
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 3: realizing that, like, he does need to talk about this, right,

1193
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,399
Speaker 3: because like talking in therapy is of course good. Yeah,

1194
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 3: but like being able to you're not truly able to

1195
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 3: move on from something unless you're able to talk about

1196
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 3: it with the people who you love.

1197
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 2: Right.

1198
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 3: It was a conversation we needed, but definitely not one

1199
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 3: I wanted. When we finally sat down to talk, I

1200
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 3: asked her to start us off by telling you exactly

1201
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 3: what was bothering her about the whole situation. She said,

1202
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 3: because I had come out to her in a casual way,

1203
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 3: the way I come out to anyone, by mentioning it

1204
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,320
Speaker 3: early on, when it seems natural to bring up she

1205
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 3: didn't realize how serious I was.

1206
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 2: No, that's on you.

1207
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 4: He was like yeah, And she's like, oh yeah, you like,

1208
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 4: oh yeah, Like he's kissed the man like kisses his

1209
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 4: friends as a joke, so like you are not alone

1210
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:17,280
Speaker 4: in that experience.

1211
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 3: You apologize for that and suggested that if I told

1212
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 3: her more about him now, it might be an easier

1213
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:26,320
Speaker 3: pill for her to swallow. Mixed feelings on that. I

1214
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 3: was like, yes, you should talk about him, but also

1215
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:30,800
Speaker 3: easier pill for her to swallow.

1216
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like shouldn't really be a pill.

1217
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,759
Speaker 3: I think there is this like very common thing where

1218
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 3: like I've actually heard, you know, from friends talk about

1219
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 3: like their partners, Like male friends, I've talked about their

1220
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 3: partners being like oh yeah, I don't want to marry

1221
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,439
Speaker 3: or I don't want to be with a bike man

1222
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 3: really who's like like a man who's been with another man.

1223
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 3: And it was like I remember talking to someone about

1224
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 3: this and they brought it up so casually yeah, And

1225
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 3: I was like, it's like, wait a second, get back

1226
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 3: to that. But wait, I say why, It's just like

1227
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 3: they're like, oh, yeah, like it's just a prefer I'm like.

1228
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 4: No, that's not. Uh.

1229
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,879
Speaker 2: I'm scared to know what she's got to say.

1230
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 3: I tried, but there was this not in my stomach

1231
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: the entire time I tried to pick a place to start.

1232
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 3: And maybe this is me being cruel not giving her

1233
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 3: the benefit of the doubt, but it just doesn't feel right.

1234
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 3: She hadn't come and said. I was shocked because I

1235
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 3: realized how little I know about this time in your life?

1236
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 3: Would you be open to talking about it now? Instead,

1237
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 3: it felt like, tell me what you saw on him,

1238
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 3: so I can attempt to rationalize your orientation, which is

1239
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 3: what it sounded like. Oh, if you tell me more

1240
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 3: about him, maybe I'll be like fine with you.

1241
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 2: Being interesting interesting.

1242
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 3: I told her I needed some time, so she went

1243
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 3: to stay elsewhere for the weekend. A long time good

1244
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 3: friend of buying came over this morning. I think the

1245
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 3: combination of anonymously talking more openly about my partner here,

1246
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 3: as well as being more open with my therapist, helped

1247
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 3: remind me of how joyous and cathartic it could be.

1248
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 3: I don't know the exact catalyst, but I do know

1249
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:58,879
Speaker 3: I spilled my guts. We talked for hours about things

1250
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 3: I haven't told anyone in year. I expressed how nervous

1251
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 3: I was about possibly living alone again, and I was

1252
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 3: told that I didn't ever have to worry about that,

1253
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 3: that an SOS text message would be all it took

1254
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 3: for me to have company if I needed it. Same

1255
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 3: goes for all my friends and family. I'm so lucky

1256
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 3: I have an incredible support system. Five minutes into that

1257
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 3: hour's long conversation. I already knew the trust, security, and

1258
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 3: love I felt made room for this newfound openness. The

1259
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 3: absence of any one of those marks of RELATIONSHIPDA and

1260
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 3: is why I felt physically ill trying to share his

1261
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 3: memory with her. Yeah, because he didn't. He didn't have

1262
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 3: that trust in her.

1263
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like when which is new if you're about

1264
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,479
Speaker 2: to get married her, Yeah, you're gonna need that. Yeah.

1265
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 3: No, I like I think that again, this goes back

1266
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 3: into the problem of like, why didn't he feel comfortable

1267
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 3: to having the conversation with her in first place and

1268
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 3: talking about his partner?

1269
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 2: Right?

1270
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 3: And Yeah, again, I don't think he had that trust

1271
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 3: in her. And that's that's another problem.

1272
00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: And it's not that it's kind of being like proved, right, Yeah,

1273
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 2: it's some part you're finally learning.

1274
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 3: And your reaction is not like, hey, I'm sad that

1275
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 3: you didn't feel comfortable telling me, it's like you shouldn't

1276
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 3: have I didn't want to know.

1277
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1278
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think going our separate ways will be

1279
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 3: good for both of us. What we weren't getting what

1280
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 3: we needed from each other. She's supposed to be coming

1281
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 3: back tomorrow, so we'll have the talk. Then I have

1282
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 3: lots of work to do, But for tonight I get

1283
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 3: to be reminded of what safety feels like.

1284
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 2: Wow, my gosh.

1285
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 3: Oh we got like the love and support he needed

1286
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 3: from his best friend. Yeah, but is breaking up with

1287
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 3: his fiance? Oh my gosh, that's gotta be that. It's

1288
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 3: gonna be really tough.

1289
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 2: Wow? Is there more?

1290
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more to the story. But you

1291
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 3: know what isn't tough? Joining us live every week today

1292
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 3: a through PMPST. Just tap her profile. But there is

1293
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 3: a little edit to finish the story off. Please see

1294
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 3: this comment where I elaborate on the conversation she and

1295
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 3: I had. There seems to be this misunderstanding where I

1296
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 3: blame her for everything because she doesn't because she didn't

1297
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 3: perfectly respond to the situation. Two things can be true.

1298
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 3: I wasn't open. I am largely accountable for the problems

1299
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 3: in this relationship, and I never should have entered it

1300
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 3: if I wasn't ready. She also said ignorant things. I'm

1301
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,960
Speaker 3: not angry about it, and it's certainly not the sole

1302
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 3: reason we're breaking up. It's just another reason on the

1303
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 3: pile of reasons why this isn't sustainable. Me still not

1304
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 3: feeling comfortable enough to share with her does not equal

1305
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 3: me blaming her for everything or even the majority of things.

1306
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 3: It was just the final nail in the coffin between.

1307
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 3: Maybe we can make this work with a lot of effort,

1308
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 3: and this needs to end now, which I think is true.

1309
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 3: It's like it's not the only The issue was not

1310
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 3: just that she was kind of intolerant and said again

1311
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 3: ignorant things, right, but he didn't feel comfortable expressing his feelings,

1312
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 3: comfortable talking about.

1313
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 2: His past partner, right, That's that's definitely a much bigger issue. Yeah,

1314
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 2: because it's so subconscious, you know, you wouldn't know that

1315
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 2: until something like this comes up, exactly.

1316
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I think it's just like it seems like

1317
00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 3: he's maybe not ready for relationship chip yet, Yeah, until

1318
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 3: he is able to talk about it, right.

1319
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 2: And I think it's good. I mean it sounds like

1320
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,919
Speaker 2: he's talking to his friend about Yeah, it's too because

1321
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 2: which she said he was like cathartic. Yeah, yeah, so

1322
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:13,440
Speaker 2: that's that's really good because I mean, like they were

1323
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 2: saying earlier, like he was really compartmentalizing it, oh too much,

1324
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 2: like you gotta have even those therapy is a great

1325
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 2: sports system. It can't it still can't be your only

1326
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 2: one to be like that fully healthy, you know, you

1327
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 2: gotta have you need a support.

1328
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 3: System because, like i mean, therapy is great obviously, but

1329
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 3: you're like paying someone and to have like that kind

1330
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,720
Speaker 3: of support system, that unconditional support where someone just like

1331
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 3: wants to be there for you because they love you, right,

1332
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 3: that is kind of a different feeling, right, And I'm

1333
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 3: glad that Opeak gets that too.

1334
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 2: Boy boy, all for the better. But that is the

1335
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: end of the story.