WEBVTT - Don't Be "Emburrassed" 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:07.600 and the Black Effect. Back there, nice little ass, back there, 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:19.600 nice little back there, oh ship, And just like that, 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:22.320 we're back on the air. Welcome back to another episode 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.320 of Carefully Reckless. But your girl just hilarious. Get shitt 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:30.680 it's story time. Okay. So one of my ex friends, 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:32.559 she has a daughter. Right now. I went to the 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:35.760 little girl's birthday party. It's cool, everything's nice. A bunch 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:39.680 of kids, okay. She was turning three years old. All right, cool, 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.520 I see you. I pick her up. I'm like, hey, baby, 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:44.800 what's going on? What's going on now? Usually at three 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.640 years old, you can construct sentences. Every kid learns at 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.440 their own pace. I do know that every child is different, 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.320 every girl is different, every little boy is different. Even 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.480 when you have two babies, the first child may not 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.400 experience with the second child experience or whatever. Right, So 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:03.520 I picked the baby up. I'm talking to her. I said, 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:07.800 you look pretty today. She said nah. So I said, no, 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:12.880 say thank you. She said that right now. I put 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:15.319 it down. I said, your hair looks pretty. Did mommy 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:18.360 do your hair? She said dah. Like you can tell 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:21.960 from her gesture. She wanted to talk, she wanted she 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.400 understood everything I was saying. She just couldn't respond. Now 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:28.440 she's three again. I go to her mother. I pull 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:31.360 it to the side. I said, yo, um, did you 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:35.720 you notice that baby girl don't talk? And she like, yeah, 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.200 she's stubborn. So I said no, no, no, no no no. 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:40.200 She was just happy, you know, to talk to me. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.120 You know, now, babies love me, kids love me. If 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.880 y'all are avid watchers of jest, hilarious, and y'all know 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.200 my mother runs a preschool, you know, all the kids 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:51.160 love me. I have like a bond with kids that 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:55.120 is very unique. It's different. It's not like a Gui 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:58.400 Gui Gucci, but it's like on some it's different with me. 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.440 I'm like the major pain. What the kids loved me 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:04.280 for some reason. All kids love me. So I'm like 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.440 baby Carol Canto. So she's stopping and I said no, 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.840 she wasn't being stopborn with me like she was cool. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.000 I was asking our questions and I could tell that 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.799 she wanted to say yes and thank you and all that, 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.480 but she couldn't. You know, she three years. Oh, I 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.160 ain't seeing it in in a while, but she three she 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.080 should be saying something. She said, girl, she already she 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:23.679 talking the house. I said, all right, cool, come time 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:27.800 to cut the cake. Then the opening gifts happy birthday 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:33.680 to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday too, baby girl, 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:38.680 Happy birthday to you, and many more. And after I 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:42.240 hit the and many more, she tried to repeat me, 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:46.720 and she said, uh like she she couldn't. She just 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.600 couldn't put a word together. It was just coming out 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:53.360 it sounds. So I pulled them over to the side again. 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:56.520 I said, look, yo, see like she tried to repeat 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.000 what I said, but she just couldn't put the letters together. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:03.080 The to do it, she said, jess, my daughter good, 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:05.320 she good, Yo, she good. She just made she hand 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:09.239 on that today giving me all the young typical mother 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.280 excuses of Waigian child is not cooperating the day she 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.000 didn't have a nap. She hungry. Oh she don't even 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.320 know what's going on. Oh she I pulled her had 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.280 too tight when I put our ballis on. Baby girl, 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:22.839 your daughter can't talk. This is what I'm telling you. 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:27.560 So fast forward a couple of months later, she brings 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:30.239 the baby over my house. Now Ashton loved kids as well, 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:33.240 and kids love Ashton so he take a playing with 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.000 a Now we have a dog. I got a little 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.000 French bulldog. At this point, he was still a baby. 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.240 So you know, when puppies are little, they see other kids, 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.000 they like to get happy, they get excited. She got afraid, 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:47.520 she got scared. She screamed to the top of her lungs. 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.400 And I said, what's wrong? What's wrong? And I said, 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.600 is it the dog? Say dog? Dog? She was like, 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:58.240 uh uh, like yo, it was just bothering the funk 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:00.840 out of me that I knew you that this baby 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:04.280 had a developmental disorder. You know, it was something going on. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.200 She wants to talk. There is something not right. She 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.640 needs speech classes right now. It was just me and 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.760 her mother. We wasn't in the party setting. We was 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:16.600 in my kitchen. I said, look, that baby needs speech classes. 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:19.120 Have you ever She said, look, we're not doing this today. 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.000 I said, no, we're gonna do this. This is for 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:23.279 your baby. She's like, it's just nothing wrong with my 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:25.640 Child's nothing wrong my child. She got upset, she took 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.280 her baby, she left. I haven't seen the baby since, 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.200 haven't seen her, haven't talked to her. But this is 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:34.479 the thing. What she said to me stuck out in 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.080 the back of my mind. She said, it's nothing wrong 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.240 with my child. I'm not ready being burst like you're 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.240 not about to try to sit and emburst me about 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.960 my child like every kid learned that they owned page 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:47.560 just because she's not doing what Ash was doing at three. Now, 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:49.640 first of all, I never brought my child into it. 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.080 I never brought my child into this. I'm noticing something 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:56.479 about your child, who I love dearly, just that she 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.599 was mine. Don't do that. I'm your friend, if we're friends, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:01.800 I pulled to be able to tell you and pull 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:04.000 you to the side instead of going to talk about 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:07.360 your ass through out other friends or or or telling 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:10.159 somebody else your business. You know, I'm coming to you 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.160 from mother to mother. There is something wrong with your child. 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.720 That's it. So with that, band said, I haven't spoken 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.839 to it, which brings me to the carefully reckless discussion. Now, 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:24.560 as a parent, it is your duty, your everlasting duty, 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:27.720 to guarantee your child protection. You are supposed to protect, 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:32.320 provide love. You are a safe place for your child. 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:35.560 You know what I'm saying. But protect is first and 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:38.720 foremost whether you're a dad or mom, and that that's 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:42.560 not only protecting from bullying, protecting from I mean, I'm 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.719 supposed to protect you period, you know what I'm saying, 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:50.240 protect them from everything. I'm supposed to nourish, take care 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:53.960 of you, further educate you. You know I'm supposed to 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.680 do that. If you're not a teacher, you're the smartest 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.279 parent already cool, but you can teach your child. That's 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.479 you teach a child without even knowing you're teaching. A 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.960 parent is a child's first teacher, before they even discover 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.400 what child care is, before they even discover what a 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:11.359 daycare is, before they even hit preschool, before they go 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.800 to elementary school. You are their first teacher. So just 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:19.279 know that every birth thing mother is a teacher, not 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:21.760 coming and adopting mothers. I have to put that out 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.080 there because everything is so fucking sensitive. But as a mother, 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:29.479 the first thing I thought when I gave him birth 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.839 my son was damn, this is a whole another life. 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:35.880 And the psycho repeats itself. You have to protect your child, 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:40.240 and my opinion, my ex friend was not protecting her child. 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.200 You're worried about the embarrassment that you're going to face, 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:48.719 versus the embarrassment that she's going to face when she 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:52.120 grow up. Why wouldn't you try to get it under 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.800 wraps right now? The baby was three when this happened up. 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:57.880 But the baby she got another birthday coming up, she'll 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:01.880 before and and I I hope that you know, if 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:03.920 she is listening to this, that she did get help 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.320 or this drives her to do it. There are so 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:10.720 many instances, um and so many cases that I see 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:14.640 where parents are too proud, too proud to even admit 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:16.880 that their child has an issue, whether it be a 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.960 d h D, whether it is you know, a deformity, 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:23.440 a physical deformity of some sort, whether it's dyslexia, whether 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:28.880 your child stutters badly, whether Tourette syndrome, whatever. You can't 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:33.880 worry so much about yourself that you forget the livelihood 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.360 of your child. You forget that they have to grow 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:38.440 up and be you as well. And when I say 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:43.160 you an adult, a mother, a father, you can't do that. 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.160 Now you're now dictating their life at this point, and 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.720 you're not thinking of them as an individual. You're thinking 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:52.080 about yourself. Hold up, Hold up, I noticed ship getting good. 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.400 But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:58.960 If you love me you'll listen. We have to give 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:02.040 up the eyes and the means and the mines when 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.920 we give birth. As mothers, you know, we have to 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:08.360 give that up. You gotta give up on yourself sometimes 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:11.000 to be there for your children. That's one of the 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.840 hardest jobs is being a mother, let alone a single mother. 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.400 I give all the power to y'all, all the kudos 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.240 to y'all, But being a mother period is a job, 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:21.960 not saying being a dad is not. So I'm gonna 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:25.680 say parents now. Speaking in terms of my friend being 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.400 a mother, I know it's hard. Every time I opened 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.000 up my mouth about the baby's speech, it put a 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:33.880 dapper on her day. She was upset, she was pissed. 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.600 She felt like I was coming at her baby. I'm 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:40.000 not coming at you. Imagine who the funk gonna come 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.160 at this baby when she grow up and she can't talk. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.640 Protect your child from that ship. You can protect her 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.760 from all this ship right now. Take her as to 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:51.760 Kennedy Krieger. Go get her an evaluation, take care of her, 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:54.880 be her hero. Because she can't talk. She's three. She 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:57.920 is at least supposed to be saying a b c's 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:01.240 do you understand me? At three read y'all gotta pay 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.680 attention to your babies. Don't have to evaluate your children. 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.840 You have to. You can protect them from so much, 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.640 from their lives being you know, miserable, or them having 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:13.800 to live with the flaw so big that they don't 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.440 get to see themselves. We have the power as mothers, 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.480 as mothers, as fathers to change that ship. Now a 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:21.920 lot of times it's not a lot of things that 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.760 you can do. We have artistic children. We have children 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:28.679 who are born uh you know, limbless or you can't walk, 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:31.720 or or you have a birth defect that prevents you 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:33.560 from doing things that you want to do. You know, 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:37.000 children that that can't run because they have pope, polio 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.280 or you know, anything of that nature. You we still 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:42.440 have to do what the funk we can to make 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.640 them feel as equal as possible to other children who 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.280 don't have these problems. I had another girl that I knew, 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:50.480 you know, I'm saying, I know it like she wasn't 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:52.280 related to me with fun her because I'm mad at her. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:53.840 She ain't getting to help for watch out. You know, 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.800 one of my cousins, I don't give a funk right. 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.120 She had a son. He had dyslexia. Nobody knew this 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.439 for a long time. One of his teachers when he 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:03.960 got in the first grade, said something to her about it. 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.800 Do you know this bit? Try to fight the teacher, like, 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.000 I don't understand how as a mother you can have 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:12.680 so much fucking pride that you can't even take a 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:17.360 teacher informing you about a struggle that your child has 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:22.640 a developmental disorder? Are you serious? Crazy? She tried to 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.480 fight the teacher. She was banned from the school. She 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.199 took my little cousin out of school, put him in 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:30.079 another school right now. Look, he could talk, he could 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.720 do everything to solve math. He just couldn't spell, and 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:36.000 he couldn't read, but talk perfectly. He was bad as hell. 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.400 Little cousin was bad as ship. But you know that 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.200 was the one issue that he had. You know, mentally 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.160 he could not do it. It was just something that 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.040 he couldn't do. As he was growing up, his behavior 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.600 got worse. He would get so frustrated with not being 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.720 able to read when he would lash out in school. 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.200 He would lash out at home doing homework. He would 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.520 last shout on his mentor he would lash out doing whatever. 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.400 She diagnosed him and said that he had bipolar disorder. 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.800 Never got him evaluating or nothing, but you're gonna tell 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:05.320 the fucking family he has bipolar disorder, so we won't 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.520 be looking at him. And that's the reason that we 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.360 won't be looking at him. Crazy when he lays shout 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.760 at the cook house and ship because because he can't 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.440 read with the rest of his fucking cousins who got 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:18.560 great eight report cards and ship and who like, you're 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.960 selfish as fuck as a mother. So she would start 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.880 beating him, beating him, sucking him up when he would 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.160 while out and he was like eight or nine at 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.760 this point, and he would tell her, I can't read it. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:31.840 I can't read it. I'm not doing it. I'm not 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.480 doing it, like real mad, like if I can't do it, 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.720 I'm not doing it, and don't ask me to. He 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:40.040 had to live with that for eight years. His father 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.880 got him help, His father got him up. She was 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:45.760 beating on his baby, beating on his little kid, beating 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:47.720 on him, thinking that he's just being nonchal lot, not 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.360 doing it right because because he want to give her 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.480 a hard time. No, he can't read, dumbass, and he's 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:56.120 telling you, and you're so prideful because you think your 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.120 child is supposed to be perfect at everything. You don't 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:00.400 want to be one of those parents us who have 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.640 to endure something being wrong with their child. It's okay, 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.480 shit happens. Every child is not born the same, and 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:09.920 these are issues that you have to deal with before 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.959 it affects the rest of their fucking lives. They're innocent, 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.000 that didn't acts to be here. Take care of your children. 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.359 Take care of your children, evaluate them, get to know them. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:23.640 Catch on to bodily functions, catch on to the motor skills, 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:28.760 catch on two signs, body language, catch on try to 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:30.560 do your own learning. Time to see what your child 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.840 knows before you even send them to school or send 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.480 them to daycare to be in the care of somebody else. 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.079 You can catch it your damn self before somebody else 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.600 catches it. You know, it's okay to have a child 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:46.120 with disabilities. It is, It's all right. What the hell 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.000 you have to own it. You have to be honest 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.200 with yourself. Your child needs you first. Shit, if you 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.240 want to now what the funk you think they're gonna feel, 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:58.200 You have to understand it's for your children's greater good. 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.960 Your child's greater good. Now. A lot of times it 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:06.160 has nothing to do with the mother. Sometimes it just happens. 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.840 Some children are born. Some things are hereditary, some things 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.720 are not. Some things come from you not having a 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:15.160 healthy pregnancy. People doing whatever they want when they're pregnant 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:18.600 with their bodies. That's why y'all really joke certain celebrities 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.800 about going vegan to to carry babies or or not 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.880 only eating certain things, and and only you know you 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:27.880 have to do that. Especially when you get up in 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.320 age and you have babies, you're at risk. You know, 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:32.800 your risk is greater, the risk of losing the baby 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:36.680 or giving an unhealthy birth or whatever, having all these issues. 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.720 Those chances increase when you're older. And that's usually what 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.559 after thirty five or something. I don't wanna don't quote 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.120 me on statistics, y'all. I'm just ain't metter fact. Let 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.200 me stop throwing out these goddamn numbers. So you'll be, 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.439 like Jeff said, if you're thirty six, you've been on 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.080 hand old babies. Because because y'all know y'all do it, 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.199 I ain't say that. All I'm saying is the older 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.760 you get, the chances of you having a high risk 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:00.959 pregnancy is greater and my little cousin who had dyslexia 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:03.360 all the time and in a learning condition that he 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.800 had to deal with. My cousin was smoking cigarettes her 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.760 whole pregnancy. When her water broke, she was banging a 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:12.520 fucking FuG That means in Baltimore, that mean she was 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:14.840 smoking a cigarette. She was banging a ship out them fuggs. 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:17.560 The fuck and then't want to be in denial when 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:20.440 it comes out that your son was affected by it 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.880 down the line, Why the fuck would you even still 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:28.320 consider smoking cigarettes when you're carrying a life inside of you. 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:33.000 He's breathing the air you breathe, You're putting tobacco in 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:37.560 his system voluntarily. Bitch that she made me so, may 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:39.920 you know? Now we got a commercial and if you 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.960 click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:46.480 your ass. Listen. That brings me to just fix my 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.800 mess now, I asked online, has anybody ever had to 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.200 undergo any of these situations or or was ever put 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:55.240 in a predicament where you had to tell a friend 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:58.360 or a family member that their child is mentally challenged, 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.640 or their child is child lunge with something, or their 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.400 child is struggling with something that they need to pay 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.440 attention to, they need to take heed to it, that 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.120 they need to get it under control. I asked that, 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:13.400 and I'm gonna read off a few responses t underscore 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.560 I I e. Says this is me right now, not 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.840 so much as in denial, but overwhelmed. We recently found 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:23.240 out that my son hadscalcula, which causes him to have 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.120 higher anxiety. So I'm trying to see who all I 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:29.240 can tell without the typical black family bullshit and actually 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.080 get help and cope with this. Well. I love the 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.360 honesty about it. I'm glad that that you even took 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.640 him to the doctor to get him evaluated, that he 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.800 was diagnosing, that y'all actually know the condition now, So 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.120 now that y'all, y'all have to move forward. If you 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:45.560 don't want to tell anybody, tell them when you're ready. 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.080 It's just you that needs to know, because it's not 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.160 really that people need to know your business. It's just 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:54.640 to the point where parents get so afraid and they 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.920 get so oh my god, oh my god, why my child, 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.000 to the point where they don't even do anything about 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.040 it because they're just so scared of what other people 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.320 will think. So it's not really all about what other 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.480 people will think, it's how it affects you in hindsight. 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.520 You're becoming one of those people that you don't want 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:12.640 to find out if you ain't helping your child, because 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.080 now you're judging your child. That's what that is when 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:18.480 you don't get help. I appreciate you sharing that with me. 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:22.040 For mother to mother and the typical family bullshit, baby 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.520 that's gonna come. You just gotta be the hero for 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.120 your child. You just gotta always let him know that 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.800 you got his back, no matter what. Hillary Banks four 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.720 points oh says I adopted my youngest daughter. She has 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.960 PTSD and a d h D. My lady thinks my 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.000 daughter is being disrespectful when she gets upset and elevates 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:43.960 her voice, but she gets that way when she's overloaded 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:47.920 and overwhelmed with emotion. She's in denial. My daughter has 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:53.400 actual clinical diagnosis. I get it. I definitely get it, 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:58.200 and she needs clinical help as well. To understand Hillary Banks, 0:16:58.200 --> 0:16:59.880 I don't know your real name, so I'm just going, 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.440 you know, say Hillary Banks because that's your Instagram name. 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:07.040 Understand this, Hillary. If your lady has no kids, I'm 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.199 not gonna say she won't necessarily never understand, but it's 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.880 gonna take her a long time to understand what parenting 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.000 is like now she does have children. Maybe her children 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.679 didn't suffer from this PTSD and a d h D, 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:19.920 so it can be a lot on people. Listen, I'm 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.520 around parents all the time who struggle with that. Takes 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.520 a lot of patients to deal with children, period, But 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.920 when they have these diagnosis, these disorders like a d 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.480 h D and PTSD, I know that child is going 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.119 through some ship, you know, So you have to also 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.639 be cognizant of how your lady feels as well, not 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.080 choosing one over the other, not because you're supposed to 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.719 choose your kids, but you still have to get her 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.199 the proper help so she can get better. And also 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:49.760 give your lady the benefit of the doubt, because it 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:53.560 can seem very disrespectful when a child raises their voice 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:55.159 and be wild and out and ship, you know what 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:59.159 I'm saying. So make sure that you're taking everybody's feelings 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.760 into consideration in right call me g O eight says. 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.119 My sister in law was in denial about my nephews autism. 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:09.520 We saw he had problems with social interactions and proper behavior. 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:12.119 So my brother took him to get tested and he 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:15.640 was diagnosed with a mild form of autism. He's knowing 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:21.040 much better now since he started therapy. See problem solving. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:24.159 I'm not gonna say problems solved. No, they can't take 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:28.280 his autism away, but they can get him help so 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.560 he can cope better in certain situations. There are all 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.639 levels of autism, a lot of different levels to it. 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.800 You got ask Burgers. That's that's that's the mildest. Those 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.200 people can still look at you, you have conversations with 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.679 you think you had the total other opposite and of 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.280 the spectrum where those people don't walk, they never look 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.200 at you. You know that a lot of them can't 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:50.840 even talk, but they're still smart in their own right, 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:52.960 you know what I'm saying. And the movie that y'all 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:54.760 should watch, I don't know if you've ever seen it, 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:59.320 but watch it. It's called Mercury Rising. Mercury Rising is 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.080 about a kid of autism. I think I think it 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:03.639 would it would definitely shed some light on parents who 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:07.000 actually take care of autistic children. But yes, back to 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.920 my point, I'm glad that they got him therapy. Now, 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.160 as far as his sister in law being in denial 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:15.160 about it, you know, I see that all the time now. 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:17.560 A lot of times. It depends on how long you 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:20.080 are in denial, Because I get it. You see something 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:21.600 wrong with your child, you don't know what to do. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:23.119 You scared, You don't want to tell your family, Your 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.439 family may judge you. You You don't want to tell this 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:27.359 person because this person may laugh. You don't want to 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:28.800 tell this person because then you don't want to look 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:30.560 like you know, you don't want to look weak. You know, 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:33.280 I get it. But the longer it takes for you 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.560 to get yourself together, the long it takes for the 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.720 child as well to get help. You gotta figure that 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:42.159 out and get some help sooner than later. Last one, 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:46.760 I'm gonna read Antisocial Underscore Butterfly with two wise. My 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:50.160 best friend, her baby didn't walk till after two he'll 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:53.000 be three next week, and he is non verbal, and 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.320 she tells people he's non chalant the whole time. She's 0:19:56.359 --> 0:20:00.119 never took him to a pediatrician. Same situation that has 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.760 head while I just told you all about with one 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:06.919 of my family members. Nonchalant. Okay, so when he grows up. 0:20:07.520 --> 0:20:09.920 What's gonna be the excuse? What are you gonna tell 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:12.080 people when he grows up? Oh no, no, no, better one. 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:14.280 What is he going to be able to tell people 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.680 when you grow up? Not a goddamn thing because he's nonverbal. 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.000 If he can't talk now, he ain't gonna be able 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:22.879 to talk when he gets older. So ship, get some 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.760