WEBVTT - Bonus: Listener Stories, Episode 20

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<v Speaker 1>Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that

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<v Speaker 1>are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others,

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<v Speaker 1>and the secrets we keep from ourselves. I've heard from

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<v Speaker 1>so many about your own family secrets and realize that

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<v Speaker 1>what we are creating for each other on this podcast

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<v Speaker 1>is a community, a community for those who are looking

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<v Speaker 1>for a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To

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<v Speaker 1>that end, we've created a number for listeners to call

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<v Speaker 1>in to record stories to share here in this space.

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<v Speaker 1>This week, I'd like to share a few of those

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<v Speaker 1>stories from our community. Thanks for listening. Hi there, Um

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to share my secret. I found out last year,

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<v Speaker 1>when I was fifty two, that my biological father was

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<v Speaker 1>not who I thought it was. My mom had always

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<v Speaker 1>told me that her first husband was my sister's dad,

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<v Speaker 1>and then my father also, and when she was pregnant

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<v Speaker 1>with me, he passed away at the age of six.

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<v Speaker 1>Then she married her second husband and they had my brother,

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<v Speaker 1>and they then went on to get divorced. When I

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<v Speaker 1>was in high school, her second husband started saying that

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<v Speaker 1>he was my biological father. Um. It made a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of sense to me because I physically resembled him more,

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<v Speaker 1>I did not look like who she said my father

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<v Speaker 1>was UM, and when I questioned her, she said that

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<v Speaker 1>that's this was not accurate. So I kind of dropped

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<v Speaker 1>it and just went on with life and death. Forward

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<v Speaker 1>to gosh, when I was in mid thirties, me and

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<v Speaker 1>her second husband, my stepdad, talked about it more. He

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<v Speaker 1>really felt like he was my biological father. So we

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<v Speaker 1>did a DNA test and it was negative, which was

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<v Speaker 1>really surprising and kind of appointing. I think I really

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<v Speaker 1>wanted him to be my father biologically. So then you know,

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<v Speaker 1>time went on. I had children, and two years ago

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<v Speaker 1>my oldest child decided to get his DNA tested and

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<v Speaker 1>it came back that he was thirty percent Irish. UM

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of made all of us shrugger eyebrows, like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>where did that come from? None on my side, supposedly,

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<v Speaker 1>and none on my husband's side. So I did mine

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<v Speaker 1>UM last year and sure enough, it came back that

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<v Speaker 1>I was half Irish. At that time, I had about

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<v Speaker 1>six second cousins pop up on the twenty three and

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<v Speaker 1>me About a month later, I got a message from

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<v Speaker 1>a lady who said that she was my aunt. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>I reached out to her. Long story short, she and

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<v Speaker 1>my mom, who was since deceased, had been best friends

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<v Speaker 1>in high school and college, and we're actually in each

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<v Speaker 1>other's weddings. UM. She had two brothers, and we we

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<v Speaker 1>concluded that older brother Tom was my biological father. They

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<v Speaker 1>are Irish, and unfortunately I won't be able to ever

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<v Speaker 1>meet him, but I do have my aunt, a cousin,

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<v Speaker 1>and two more half siblings that I'm excited to meet. Hi.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to thank you for the podcast. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>Listening to your podcast is giving me the courage to

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<v Speaker 1>pick up and tell my secret. UM. Yesterday I told

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<v Speaker 1>my teenage children about my childhood, how I was sexually

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<v Speaker 1>abused for eleven years, and how when I was eleven

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<v Speaker 1>I told my secret and by the time I was twelve,

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<v Speaker 1>I would be able to testify in court against my abuser. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>I had not had the courage to tell my children.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know how I would tell them. Yesterday, I

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<v Speaker 1>did it, and they were so understanding and said they

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<v Speaker 1>actually kind of knew something had happened to me. And

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<v Speaker 1>it just felt so good and I feel so free

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<v Speaker 1>telling my children my past and it is no longer

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<v Speaker 1>a family secret, so thank you. Hi there. Uh So,

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<v Speaker 1>a few weeks ago, my husband gelt phone calls that

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<v Speaker 1>we needed to head back to New York because my

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<v Speaker 1>husband's grandmother was ill and that she didn't have much fight.

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<v Speaker 1>So we went back to New York. She stayed with

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<v Speaker 1>some family and uh, while we were visiting, we ended

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<v Speaker 1>up having to take his grandmother to the hospital, UM

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<v Speaker 1>the emergency room to care for while she was there. Amazingly,

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<v Speaker 1>during all of this COVID stuff, she was allowed to

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<v Speaker 1>have visitors in her room. I was the first on

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<v Speaker 1>her list. Uh. During this four hours that I got

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<v Speaker 1>to done with her, she told me of her first

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<v Speaker 1>child that she had when she was fourteen. She had

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<v Speaker 1>been living in Brooklyn and her family made her um

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<v Speaker 1>moved out of the house, so she was living with

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<v Speaker 1>her sister and shortly after having a baby, she it's

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<v Speaker 1>gone out for a walk and the baby had actually

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<v Speaker 1>been restaurant over in a carriage. Thankfully, the baby survived,

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<v Speaker 1>but she realized that at that point, given her life situation,

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<v Speaker 1>that she she gived the baby up for adoptions, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's what she did. When she got older, she told

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<v Speaker 1>her husband about it, and she told her children, and

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<v Speaker 1>everyone treated it as she had done something wrong, so

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<v Speaker 1>she more or less like even though she told them,

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<v Speaker 1>she kept a lot of promotions about it to herself.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's really something that unless she had told me,

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<v Speaker 1>it's really not talked about with the family. So I

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<v Speaker 1>kind of feel I now have this like mission. So

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<v Speaker 1>she told me her story while she was on her

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<v Speaker 1>death sad like, I now have this mission I feel

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<v Speaker 1>to find out who this person says to this person

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<v Speaker 1>that I have been, and just try and connect that

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<v Speaker 1>family to the family that they don't realize that they have.

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<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to share your story, call one eight

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<v Speaker 1>eight eight Secret zero and record your story. We won't

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<v Speaker 1>be able to run all the stories, but we do

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<v Speaker 1>want to shine a light on as many as we can.

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<v Speaker 1>The number again is one eight eight Secret and then

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<v Speaker 1>the numeral zero. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.