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Speaker 1: If I could gather at least one hundred women who

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Speaker 1: each wrote a check for one thousand dollars, one thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars is a stop and think gift. Now. I was

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Speaker 1: thirty eight years old. I myself had never written a

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Speaker 1: check for one thousand dollars to a single charity. I'd

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Speaker 1: never done it, but I figured I could. And I

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Speaker 1: also knew the power of that that if we could

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Speaker 1: get one hundred women to write a check for one

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars, one hundred percent of it would be pulled

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Speaker 1: in a grant and then offered right back to the

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Speaker 1: local community where these women lived, worked and played. In

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Speaker 1: our very first year, when this was just dreamt up,

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Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty three women wrote a check and

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Speaker 1: we gave away a single grant of one hundred and

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Speaker 1: twenty three thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.

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Speaker 2: I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, a father, an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 2: and I've been a football coach in Inner City Memphis.

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Speaker 2: And that last part it unintentionally led to an oscar

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Speaker 2: for the film about our team. It's called Undefeated. I

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Speaker 2: believe our country's problems will never be solved by a

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Speaker 2: bunch of fancy people in nice suits talking big words

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Speaker 2: that nobody really understands on CNN and Fox, but rather

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Speaker 2: an army of normal folks US, just you and me deciding, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I can help. That's what Wendy Still. The voice we

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Speaker 2: just heard is done. From this first grant from one

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Speaker 2: hundred and twenty three women in Cincinnati. Wendy's idea that

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Speaker 2: she called Impact one hundred has spread like wildfire, far

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Speaker 2: more than she could have ever imagined. There's now chapters

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Speaker 2: in sixty cities across four countries. And get this, they've

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Speaker 2: collectively given over one hundred and twenty three million dollars

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Speaker 2: through one one thousand dollars check at a time. I

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Speaker 2: cannot wait for you to meet Wendy right after these

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Speaker 2: brief messages from our generous sponsors. Wendy Steal, how are you?

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Speaker 1: I am great, happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy you are here. Thanks for I guess you

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Speaker 2: just got off a plane, didn't you, Yes, sir, flight

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Speaker 2: was well, not too bumpy.

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Speaker 1: It was all good.

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Speaker 2: That's good. I understand our producer Alex picks you up

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Speaker 2: in an uber.

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Speaker 1: Yes he did.

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Speaker 2: That's really impressive. So our producer doesn't even have a

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Speaker 2: car he's ubered to get you. Is that what I understand?

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Speaker 1: Yes, but it was a nice uber.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, thank goodness, is a nice uber apparently owning

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Speaker 2: and renting a car escapes Alex. So that's probably another

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Speaker 2: show an army of normal people who can't drive or

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Speaker 2: something like that. Anyway, thanks for being here. I'm sorry

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Speaker 2: I had to uber here. Maybe after this thing sells

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Speaker 2: some advertisements, he can come up with enough money to

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Speaker 2: get a car to actually pick our guests up rather

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Speaker 2: than ubering. We can dream, that's all right. I guess

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Speaker 2: I got to be fair to producer Alex. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: exactly his fault. He bought a new car and after

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Speaker 2: only five weeks it wouldn't start, and the stupid part

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Speaker 2: that was needed was out of stock, presumably a hangover

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Speaker 2: from the COVID supply chain issues, and the auto dealer

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Speaker 2: wouldn't take his car back because it was after four weeks,

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Speaker 2: which is ridiculous, but you know that's big car business

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Speaker 2: for you. And so Alex literally was ubering around picking

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Speaker 2: up our guests. I guess we talk about it on

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Speaker 2: the podcas as, but normal people face normal struggles and

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Speaker 2: normal problems, and Alex the producer is uh not immune

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Speaker 2: to it. So, Wendy, so much to talk about with you.

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Speaker 2: I've read and listened to a lot of your story,

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Speaker 2: and I have a bajillion questions. But as you know,

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Speaker 2: it is an army of normal folks, and normal folks

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Speaker 2: seem to identify with normal folks. So tell me about

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Speaker 2: Wendy the little Girl. Where'd you grow up? And how'd

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Speaker 2: you grow up? And all of those things which start

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Speaker 2: start where you will start where you're born, and carry

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Speaker 2: me through Wendy the Kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well, I was born in Connecticut. I

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Speaker 1: am the middle of three girls, and my parents. My

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Speaker 1: dad worked for a corrugated box company. When we lived

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Speaker 1: in Connecticut, he was a regional sales manager. My mom

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Speaker 1: stayed home, probably traveled a lot. Then he traveled an

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Speaker 1: awful lot. Yeah, he got promoted when I was in

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Speaker 1: elementary school. We left Connecticut and moved to Saint Louis, Missouri,

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Speaker 1: where so he could be closer to the head office. Exactly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so he went from being a regional sales guy to

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Speaker 1: a national sales guy. We moved to Saint Louis, and

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Speaker 1: that is where I grew up.

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Speaker 2: So how old were you and your sisters when you

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Speaker 2: moved to Saint Louis.

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Speaker 1: Gosh, I was probably in second grade.

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Speaker 2: We was seven.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, little sister.

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Speaker 1: She is four years younger, so she was just a.

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Speaker 2: Toddler three and your older sister.

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Speaker 1: Three years older, so she was so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, your dad gets a big promotion, goes

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Speaker 2: to Saint Louis, got a three year old, a seven

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Speaker 2: year old to ten year old, and live in the

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Speaker 2: American dream.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like, yeah, it was. Saint Louis is a

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Speaker 1: nice place. You know, it's not that different from Cincinnati

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Speaker 1: in terms of the economics. Really works. It's beautiful place,

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Speaker 1: lots of rolling hills, but enough corporate headquarters so that

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Speaker 1: people can really make a living there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and the cost of living is not ridiculous like

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Speaker 2: on the coast right exactly coast really Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 2: lot like Memphis, Cincinnati, Saint Louis, Memphis, a lot on

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Speaker 2: Nashville not so much. I think National's cost of living

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Speaker 2: has gone through the arth, but a lot of towns

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Speaker 2: like that. And it is true that a lot of

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Speaker 2: corporate headquarters are there and so your dad's there, and

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Speaker 2: your mom was a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 1: She was a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, got it. So you grew up with that, and

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Speaker 2: I remember, I think up through eighth grade you went

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Speaker 2: to the local public school. Yep, and at what seemed

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Speaker 2: to be a great childhood and normal family and all

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Speaker 2: of that.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: And your mom was an alcoholic. She was.

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Speaker 1: She was a recovering alcoholic for all of my memory.

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Speaker 1: And so a recovering alcoholic is an alcoholic that recognizes

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Speaker 1: she has a disease, but that she's currently not drinking.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't know her as a drinking alcoholic, if

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Speaker 1: that's even the right way to say it. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember her drinking at all. But she had AA meetings

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Speaker 1: in the house. She was, I mean, her recovery was

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Speaker 1: very much a part of our daily life.

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Speaker 2: How old was she when you were seven?

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, so I have to do the math. So

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Speaker 1: when I was seven, my dad would have been thirty seven,

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Speaker 1: which means my mom would have been thirty five.

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Speaker 2: Then her alcoholism had to predate way appreciate me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, although later in life I found out she actually

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Speaker 1: did relapse during our childhood.

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Speaker 2: I just wasn't going to AA meeting. Was in all

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Speaker 2: of that that must have been So do you think

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Speaker 2: your dad dated her when she was drinking?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yes, Wow.

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Speaker 1: I think she quit drinking later in life than when

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Speaker 1: they were dating.

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Speaker 2: Probably when she started having kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: There's a stigma around mental illness for sure. And I've

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Speaker 2: had people very close to me that struggled with mental illness,

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Speaker 2: and oddly, I feel like, certainly I don't want to

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Speaker 2: brush with a broad brush, but that in a lot

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Speaker 2: of cases, chemical dependency and mental illness seemed to go

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Speaker 2: hand in hand. Did you experience that with your mom?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely? My mom, in addition to being a recovering alcoholic,

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Speaker 1: she suffered from depression. She also had very low self esteem.

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Speaker 1: An example of how that would surface is if my

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Speaker 1: parents were going to talk about what what do you

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Speaker 1: want to do on date night? Or what do you

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Speaker 1: want to do this weekend? And if my mom said

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Speaker 1: I want to go to a movie and my dad

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Speaker 1: said I want to try this new restaurant, my mom

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Speaker 1: would believe that her choice wasn't good enough, and so

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Speaker 1: it would sort of turn into this fight about it enough.

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Speaker 1: Then her whole view of the world is just heartbreaking

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Speaker 1: because when you understand that you don't feel as worthy

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Speaker 1: as basically anybody else, that's a really hard place to be.

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Speaker 2: Do you think the alcoholism was a function of self

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Speaker 2: medication at one time? So her inferiority complex and mental

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Speaker 2: not mental difficulties, but her the struggles that she had

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Speaker 2: probably predated the alcoholism, and maybe the alcoholism or so

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Speaker 2: way of self medicating.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly true. What she said when she talked about

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Speaker 1: how she started with alcohol is that she was uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: in social situations. She would be uncomfortable going to a party.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: By contrast, my dad was a guy who never met

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Speaker 1: a stranger, he would touch.

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Speaker 2: He was a national sales manager, of course he was.

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Speaker 1: But like type A, I'm sure very type A, very

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Speaker 1: genuinely a lover of people, genuinely remembers everyone's story, wonderful

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Speaker 1: at making connections, like he was that guy. My mother

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Speaker 1: was beautiful, but she didn't think so, and very uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: socially now, way before they got together. In order for

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Speaker 1: my mom to go out to go on a to

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Speaker 1: go to a party, to go to wherever. What she

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Speaker 1: started to realize is if she drank at the event,

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Speaker 1: she relaxed, and it became more fun until she had

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Speaker 1: to drink before she went out, and then she had

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Speaker 1: to drink to cope.

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Speaker 2: And the cruel irony as I'm sitting here listening to

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Speaker 2: you and I'm by no means a psychologists. But then

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Speaker 2: she realizes she has a problem with alcohol, and then

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Speaker 2: she feels even worse about herself exactly, so sad, so difficult.

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Speaker 1: And in those days, not only was mental illness not touched.

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Speaker 2: Like the seventies.

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Speaker 1: When we say those days, those days, I would say

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Speaker 1: at this point, I'm even talking early to middle seventies,

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Speaker 1: people didn't even talk about being an alcoholic. I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you weren't drinking, somebody would push you and be like, oh, come.

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Speaker 2: On, you can have just one.

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Speaker 1: Come on, you know, lighten up. So it was not

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Speaker 1: easy being a recovering alcoholic, and it also was not

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Speaker 1: easy being somebody who struggled with mental illness, and none

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Speaker 1: of it was really talked about publicly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely a different time. So we're it's certainly

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Speaker 2: going to get to impact one hundred, okay, because that

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Speaker 2: is one of the coolest stories in the world and

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Speaker 2: redemptive and largely defines your legacy, and I'm so inspired

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Speaker 2: by what you've done. But to tease a little bit,

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Speaker 2: it's really about the strength of women as much as anything.

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Speaker 2: I mean, certainly it's about philanthropic endeavors, but the strength

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Speaker 2: of women. And so I'm teasing that for our listeners

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Speaker 2: and we are going to get to that. But as

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Speaker 2: I was thinking about you and your profile, I couldn't

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Speaker 2: help but wonder if maybe some of your incredible job

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Speaker 2: to pull off what you've pulled off stems from a

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Speaker 2: relationship that you have to have with watching a woman struggle,

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Speaker 2: and I wonder if that plays into it for you

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely it does. There were a couple of things

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Speaker 1: that were happening in my life, even you know, in

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Speaker 1: these earlier days. One, from a really young age, my

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Speaker 1: parents said to us, not in any formal way, that

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Speaker 1: our job was to leave the world a little better

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Speaker 1: than we found it. And so it would be things

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Speaker 1: like if I was going down the street to babysit

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Speaker 1: the neighbor kids, I remember my parents saying, look, they're

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Speaker 1: going to pay you to watch those kids. So when

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Speaker 1: they're napping or when they're playing quietly, I want you

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Speaker 1: to get up and I want to make sure that

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Speaker 1: the kitchen counter's cleaned up, that you tidy, you put

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Speaker 1: toys away, that you wipe down the count so that

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Speaker 1: when those parents come home they're paying you to watch

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Speaker 1: their children, give them something so they realize that their

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Speaker 1: home and their kids are better now than when they

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Speaker 1: left the house to go do whatever it is.

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Speaker 2: They take great value. I'm gets carry with your whole

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Speaker 2: life and everything. When you borrow somebody's car, return it

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Speaker 2: with a full tank. Exactly, I'll let somebody borrow my

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Speaker 2: car once they returned it without a full tank. And

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Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you something. I was like, did

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Speaker 2: your parents raise you right? It was terrible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So for all those listeners, if you borrow a car,

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Speaker 2: or or a lawnmower or anything else, return it with

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Speaker 2: full tank. And if you pick up a guest doing

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Speaker 2: a car, not an.

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Speaker 1: Uber words to live by.

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Speaker 2: And now a few messages from our general sponsors. But first,

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Speaker 2: I really hope you'll consider signing up to join the

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Speaker 2: Army at normal folks dot Us. Guys, I'd really do

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00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:04,000
Speaker 2: believe that this army can change the country. By signing up,

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00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,960
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00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,720
Speaker 2: summaries in case you prefer reading about the army members

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00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,720
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00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,640
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Speaker 2: You watched your mom, who you loved obviously, struggle mightily,

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Speaker 2: and then you turn around and become this strong woman

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Speaker 2: with this woman dominated thing we're going to talk about,

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Speaker 2: and I just I couldn't help, but wonder reading it

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Speaker 2: that had to have had some effect on you.

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Speaker 1: What happens when you grow up in a household like that?

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Speaker 1: And when I say like that, While my mother was alive,

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Speaker 1: she could be very unpredictable. You don't You didn't really

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Speaker 1: know what might set her off. And when she got

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Speaker 1: set off, if you will, she would go into her bedroom.

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Speaker 1: She would keep the curtains low. She had migraine headaches,

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Speaker 1: and she would have a migraine headache that she may

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Speaker 1: not come out of her room for days. Really, she

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Speaker 1: would sometime and my dad traveled for work, so sometimes

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Speaker 1: my dad would come home on a Friday from a

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Speaker 1: business trip to a note from my mom saying I

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Speaker 1: had to get away for the weekend. So she wasn't

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Speaker 1: leaving us alone. But she was.

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Speaker 2: If you have a migraine, you get away for the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she had to get away.

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Speaker 2: Now as kids, so what would you come home to

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Speaker 2: an empty house? I had to been. That had to

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Speaker 2: have been hard.

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Speaker 1: It was hard. It was hard. I think what ends up, Well,

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Speaker 1: a lot of things ends up happening. And by the

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Speaker 1: grace of God, I didn't inherit any of the addictive

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Speaker 1: personality that my mother had, and I, you know, I

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Speaker 1: wish that was something that I did. It wasn't. I'm

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Speaker 1: very fortunate in that regard. But what I did learn

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Speaker 1: in those early years is empathy. Because if as a kid,

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Speaker 1: if I could read how my dad's day was when

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Speaker 1: he comes home, Imagine he's high pressure, trying to provide

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Speaker 1: for this family, traveling all the time. The corrugated box business,

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Speaker 1: as you might imagine, is you know, not not a

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Speaker 1: clean straight road all the time. If I could anticipate

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Speaker 1: what he needed, if I could anticipate what my mom needed,

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Speaker 1: and later I did a lot of the parenting for

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Speaker 1: my little sister, we could keep peace, we could.

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Speaker 2: Things do realize that's not the job of a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,

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Speaker 2: seventeen year old. That's hard it was hard.

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Speaker 1: But it never occurred to me whether it was my

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Speaker 1: job or not. It was just what just what you did,

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Speaker 1: It was what needed to happen.

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Speaker 2: Well, that also explains a lot about how you are

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Speaker 2: where you are now, which again we're going to get to.

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Speaker 2: So sadly your mom took her own life and you

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Speaker 2: didn't even know it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So that was the summer before my freshman year

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Speaker 1: in high school.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, and how Yeah, that's even not the gret

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Speaker 2: greatest timing for you. No, you're going through all kinds

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Speaker 2: of things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was fourteen, and.

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Speaker 2: And everybody at that age is going through all kinds

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Speaker 2: of stuff, and you're doing with the loss of your mom, right.

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Speaker 1: Well, what happened at the time, So we were on

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Speaker 1: vacation in northern Michigan. My dad was traveling, my mom

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Speaker 1: was with us. She was an avid bird watcher and

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Speaker 1: a nature lover, and so on this given day she

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Speaker 1: left and said that she was going to go bird

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Speaker 1: watching and she was going to climb the sand dunes.

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Speaker 1: If you've never been to northern Michigan, they are spectacular.

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Speaker 2: Sand dunes in Michigan.

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Speaker 1: Sand dunes in Michigan that are covered with the most

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Speaker 1: beautiful pine trees and bushes, and I mean, it's how are.

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Speaker 2: There sand dudes with pine trees that grow on this

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Speaker 2: they do? Well, you'll have to come the birds up

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Speaker 2: there too.

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Speaker 1: Apparently there are a lot of birds. Yeah. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: on this given day, she put our dinner in the

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Speaker 1: crock pot, and my dad was coming home from a

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Speaker 1: trip that night. My grandmother, my dad's mother, was going

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Speaker 1: to also come for dinner, and she said goodbye, she

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Speaker 1: was leaving, so she drove away in her red station

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Speaker 1: wagon for the day. Well, my dad came in, my

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Speaker 1: grandmother arrived. Mom never came back.

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Speaker 2: But you just told me that sometimes your mom would

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Speaker 2: go away for a couple of days. So I guess

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Speaker 2: you didn't really freak out because.

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Speaker 1: We did not freak out go out, and.

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Speaker 2: Past behavior shows that she would do that, so I will.

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Speaker 1: You're absolutely right, And as a kid, I wasn't worried

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Speaker 1: in that moment for exactly that reason. Now, my dad

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Speaker 1: was worried, but I didn't know it at the time.

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Speaker 1: And what ended up happening is my dad finally called

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Speaker 1: the police, and the police found her car quite a

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Speaker 1: distance from the sand dune where she was found Now,

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Speaker 1: my mother was deathly allergic to bees, and so we

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Speaker 1: were told that she had passed away. She was stung

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Speaker 1: by a bee and she had left her EpiPen in

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Speaker 1: the car two miles away or a mile and a half,

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Speaker 1: whatever it was.

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Speaker 2: And once again, because like alcoholism and mental illness, suicide

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Speaker 2: was a kind of a hands off thing, you didn't discuss.

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Speaker 1: It was very taboo, yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: And so for the children, that was the story right now.

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Speaker 2: And you were I was fourteen, I mean your sister.

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Speaker 1: Was seventeen and ten.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I'm sitting My heart's breaking for your father

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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 1: And my father was forty four years old. So you

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Speaker 1: think about being in the prime of your career as

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Speaker 1: a salesperson, providing for the family with three girls, and.

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Speaker 2: You have to travel. Who's going to watch my kids?

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Speaker 1: Exactly? It was Yeah, it was unbelievable. The other piece,

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Speaker 1: you know, you have something like this happened. Apparently it

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Speaker 1: was on the news, like the police scanner, Like apparently

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Speaker 1: people knew how mom really died.

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Speaker 2: The neighborhood, and so we didn't know, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: And and I again, I didn't find out any of

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Speaker 1: this until until much later. My older sister was and

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Speaker 1: is a woman who she's kind of a rebel. She

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Speaker 1: goes her own way. She's that person who like wanted

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Speaker 1: to be a grown up from the time she was

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Speaker 1: a young like a toddler. And so when I was

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Speaker 1: in eighth grade and all of my girlfriends were going

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Speaker 1: to go to this all girls Catholic high school. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not Catholic my family, no one in my family

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Speaker 1: is Catholic, and I tell my parents I want to

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Speaker 1: go to this all girls Catholic high school. My parents

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Speaker 1: wanted me to look at other options, and one of

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Speaker 1: those options was a boarding school in the Berkshires of Massachusetts. Now,

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Speaker 1: I had great friends in the neighborhood. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: go to the Catholic school because that's where they were going.

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Speaker 1: I certainly was not going to go look at basically

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Speaker 1: anything else. Well, my older sister got to look at

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Speaker 1: this and she's like, wait a second, this is like

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Speaker 1: going to college when I'm still in high school. Bye bye.

380
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Speaker 1: And so when our mom passed, Joanne appropriately went back

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Speaker 1: to high school. My dad went back to work, and Tina,

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Speaker 1: who was ten, and I were at home. Wow, and

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Speaker 1: my dad only that's probably not the right word I was.

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Speaker 1: I think I was more broken than I ever really

385
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Speaker 1: let myself realize. But I wouldn't have called myself lonely.

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Speaker 1: I've been really blessed to have good friends, and may

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Speaker 1: sometimes not lots of good friends, but like a core

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Speaker 1: group of real friends. And I also found this interesting

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Speaker 1: community of women who kind of came in and helped

390
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Speaker 1: out me.

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Speaker 2: You mean, when you were a kid, a community of

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Speaker 2: women from the neighborhood, the school, friends' moms, that kind

393
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Speaker 2: of thing.

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Speaker 1: After my mom died, so when my mom was still alive,

395
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Speaker 1: they didn't have very much of a social life because

396
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Speaker 1: my mom wasn't comfortable. So I didn't see a lot

397
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Speaker 1: of women come to the house when my mom was alive.

398
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Speaker 1: But after she past you know, women kind of paid

399
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Speaker 1: attention and without being asked, without any fanfare, without any organization. Sure,

400
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: in the beginning we got cast roles delivered to the door,

401
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: and we got notes and all that.

402
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that ends.

403
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: That ends these women stuck around. I mean, in the

404
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: public school, I would have taken the school bus. In

405
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: the private school, you needed to carpool. And suddenly these

406
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 1: moms were saying, gosh, I have a reason to go

407
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 1: in that direction. I want to do extra days of

408
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 1: carpool or they would invite.

409
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Speaker 2: You had a community that surrounded you.

410
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my dad and my sister we were very

411
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: not you can't say very. But the people who stepped up,

412
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: they stepped up big and they did it even when

413
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: it was.

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Speaker 2: The example of what was formative to you. Right in

415
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 2: terms of what you've ended up doing, I have a

416
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 2: did it ever? I mean, is it possible that on

417
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 2: those weekends that your mom split, that maybe she was

418
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Speaker 2: falling off the wagon and was trying to get away

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Speaker 2: from everybody with accountability.

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Speaker 1: In hindsight, maybe, although she managed to come back. And

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00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: what I know about that is that it's possible that

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00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: she fell off the wagon, but for her to be

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00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 1: able to stop and then come back, that'd be tough.

424
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: That feels like maybe not, But I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Bless your mom's heart, she just wasn't comfortable in her

426
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Speaker 2: own skin.

427
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: No, No, she wasn't.

428
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Speaker 2: And your father had to have known that. And he's

429
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 2: traveling and doing a big job and trying to raise

430
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: a family and provide for family and three girls at home,

431
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Speaker 2: and then he deals with the suicide of his wife

432
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Speaker 2: at forty four years old. I mean a lot of trauma.

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00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had a lot, but you know he was

434
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: and again, my mom died nineteen seventy seven. In those days,

435
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: dads really didn't didn't parent kids right. It was really

436
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: the mom and dads were not that outspoken. Our dad

437
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: told us he loved us every single day. He was

438
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: very emotionally present with.

439
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 2: Us, which that's amazing.

440
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: Is a gift. Yeah, he I mean my dad really,

441
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: he really was amazing. He was not a perfect dad.

442
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,959
Speaker 1: He was tough. We had a lot of chores, We

443
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 1: had all the things. You know, he was strict, he

444
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 1: was all that. But he was authentically a great guy

445
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:50,239
Speaker 1: who genuinely loved us and genuinely loved the community. Like

446
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 1: he was just that larger than like I had to.

447
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: Put on this tough face when you know he was

448
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 2: done inside.

449
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:03,439
Speaker 1: Right and didn't have anybody who he could really share

450
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: the worldwid right. He did go to a therapist, I

451
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: will say, I mean my dad did get some help.

452
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 1: And one of the early conversations after all this happened

453
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: was and I wasn't supposed to overhear it, but my

454
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: dad was in a conversation with his therapist whose name

455
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: was Paul, and Paul said, you know, you look at

456
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: what's happening to these girls. They are at risk. You've

457
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: got you. You are one of the yah us. You

458
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: are lucky that you can bring people around them. You

459
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: need to pay attention. And I remember very shortly thereafter,

460
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:55,719
Speaker 1: I started to realize, like a I didn't feel very lucky.

461
00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, I didn't feel very fortunate. But

462
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: I also realized that, you know, I did have people

463
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 1: who poured into my life. I did have a dad

464
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: who genuinely cared. I mean, gosh, he could have you know,

465
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: said I can't do this, I'm done. There are a

466
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: lot of things that could have happened. And it was

467
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: in that time frame, you know, within the weeks after

468
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: my mom passed that I heard the quote there but

469
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: for the grace of God go I to this day.

470
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: In fact, the bracelet I took off says, there before

471
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: the grace of God go I. It is what grounds

472
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: me is that, first of all, yes, this terrible thing happened,

473
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: but I'm not so naive to believe that I'm the

474
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: only person who's had a terrible thing happen. I was

475
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: very fortunate to have my dad's mom and my mom's

476
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: parents really taken interest in us and really pour into

477
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: us in significant ways, and so did school, and so

478
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: did the moms, and so I wonder how people would

479
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: get through it if they didn't have that. And I

480
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: think the difference between people who are okay, whether that's

481
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: okay economically okay, with food secure, with emotional well being,

482
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: the difference between those who are okay and those who

483
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: aren't often isn't what anybody does or didn't do. It

484
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: is pure grace, and I was on the receiving end

485
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: of a lot of it.

486
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. Your mom dies and you're entering

487
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 2: eighth grade and you're going to a new school, right,

488
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 2: And I think I read it was a Catholic school.

489
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: I'm not Catholic, so, but I have had friends that

490
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: go to Catholic school. And the uniforms and the brothers

491
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: and the nuns and the rulers on the knuckles and

492
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 2: the whole thing. You've heard, whether or not that's true

493
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 2: or not, But tell me about your experience at Catholic

494
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 2: school before you went to college.

495
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, So all the bad things about Catholic schools.

496
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: I experienced none of that. Now you have to understand

497
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: that my dad, his idea of the right place to

498
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: shop for girls clothes was.

499
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 2: Sears, skins, and gran animals.

500
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: Amen. Yes, so you've had my closet.

501
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: My dad left while I was young. My mom had

502
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 2: worked hard but didn't have any money, and I hated

503
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 2: tough skins. But because they had this, they had this

504
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 2: plastic patch on the inside of the knee to keep

505
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 2: the knees from wearing out. But during the summer when

506
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 2: you sweat, stupid things would stick to your skin, and

507
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: then the stupid ger animals where if you got the shirt,

508
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: you match it the But it's where we went, and

509
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 2: I do remember, dude, the sears you shopped at in

510
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 2: the very middle of it have a little like snack

511
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: bar at all.

512
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: I don't remember that, Are you kidding? If there was

513
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: a snack bar, I would have been there.

514
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: Okay, well ours did, and they had warm cashews for

515
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 2: you could get a bag for a quarter. And the

516
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: only reason I would go try on tough skins because

517
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: my mom would cough up a quarter so I could

518
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: have some warm cashoes.

519
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: They're so good, it sounds really good. That may have

520
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: swayed me.

521
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 2: But so anyway, you're telling me, as a fourteen to

522
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 2: fifteen year old girl who's trying to figure it all out,

523
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 2: wants to be pretty and everything you getting, your dad

524
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: and his infinite wisdom is taking you to Sears for

525
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: your pretty clothes.

526
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: Exactly. So let me tell you I was probably the

527
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: only one in that ninth grade class that I was

528
00:32:59,000 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: thrilled with those you know.

529
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you were.

530
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: Those uniforms were the great equalizer. To this day, I

531
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: have often said, and my younger sister and I often

532
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: talk about gr animals and often talk about because even

533
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: when our mom was like, we got our clothes at

534
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: Sears and they were animals.

535
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: That's just what your dad said. It was just.

536
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: As where we were going because it was good value

537
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: and so plus tools.

538
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: Oh yes, where else could you buy a wrench and

539
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: a pair of jeans.

540
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: And a party dress?

541
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? Perfect, let's go all.

542
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: The good time. Yeah you got that too. We probably

543
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: did get our fridge.

544
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: Knockoff penny loafers were Pastwegians, but they had them because

545
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 2: I had to buy the cheek knockoffs too when I

546
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 2: came up.

547
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: I remember all of its uniform was fantastic and you

548
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: what to wear. Yeah, it was better than gor animals,

549
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: you know, And and it was it was nice. It

550
00:33:55,120 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: was structure. I was there with my friends. I felt

551
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: the most alone. In the beginning of my time at

552
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: the Catholic school was called Saint Joseph's Academy, so Saint Joe.

553
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: In the beginning of my time at Saint Joe, I

554
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 1: felt very alone. I was literally the only non Catholic.

555
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,879
Speaker 1: And I was the only one who didn't have a mom,

556
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 1: who was packing lunches, dropping them off at school, picking

557
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 1: up after school, doing slumber parties. I mean it was.

558
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: It was hard Massachusetts somewhere too, right, right. So I

559
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 1: went to my little sister's parent teacher conferences. I yeah,

560
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: I mean when my dad was out of town. I

561
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: mean not as no one mistook me for the parent,

562
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 1: but yeah, I went to represent my dad at those places.

563
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 2: A lot for a girl going through her own trauma,

564
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 2: I mean a kid, you know.

565
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: I think in part it was the way I'm wired

566
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: a lot. It It's not no one ever said to me, Wendy,

567
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: I need you to do this, and then this and

568
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 1: then this. It was just innately how I coped it

569
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: was just well, how.

570
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: I small spart. What your mom taught to you is

571
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 2: that you were cleaning the counters, right, that was what

572
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 2: was expected, and so after you put the kid down

573
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 2: in their jammies, you cleaned the clean the counter. Still

574
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: the parents came home and you were acting that out

575
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 2: and later in life. All right, y'all, I promise we're

576
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 2: about to get to the story of Impact one hundred

577
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 2: and how the idea came to Wendy while she was

578
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 2: a banker in Cincinnati. But we're not going to do

579
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 2: it until we tell one last story about Wendy's family

580
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,240
Speaker 2: and how her dad met her mom.

581
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: He was up near wallow In Lake, but in the

582
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 1: off season, so none of his summer friends were around.

583
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: So we went down to the marine and there's a

584
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 1: woman named Esther Simpson who ran the marina my dad

585
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: used to work for. And he popped in. He said, Esther,

586
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: I'm up here, none of my friends are here. Is

587
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 1: there anybody fun? I can anything going on? Anything I

588
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: can do. She said, well, there's a local girl and

589
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: her name is Margo, and you should call her up.

590
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: And my dad called my mom.

591
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 2: So your mom was from there.

592
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: She was from Pataski, which is the town right next

593
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 1: to Walloon. She was there, that was home, that was home.

594
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: She was a local girl, and so they dated, and

595
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: of course you know the rest of the story. Years later,

596
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: Dad is up on Walloon Lake in the summer. He

597
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 1: goes to Esther Simpson. This about three or four years

598
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: after mom had passed. He goes to Esther Simpson, who's

599
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 1: still running the marina on the lake, and he says, oh, Esther,

600
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 1: my friends are all give me a hard time. I'm

601
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: supposed to ring a date to the country club dance.

602
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 2: You're not going to tell me?

603
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: And she says, you really ought to look up Cynthia Badell.

604
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 2: And says, you kidding me?

605
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: Exactly married he married her? Oh my god, he married her.

606
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 2: If it wasn't for Esther Simpson. Your dad man never

607
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: had a date.

608
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 3: Ever, at least not a good one, Sipson. Yeah, when

609
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 3: when she passed, we all teased my dad like, okay,

610
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 3: you better make this work out.

611
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 2: Because you're never going to another date.

612
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: It's over.

613
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: That is a hilarious story. Yeah, unbelievable.

614
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: They were married in I think nineteen eighty four, and

615
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 1: Sinny is is what she goes by she's my stepmom

616
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: and amazing she's still living. My dad's been gone for

617
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: about ten years. But yeah, happily ever.

618
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: After a crazy story. So sorry that was way off,

619
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: but well worth a story that's hilarious. So now we're

620
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 2: going to get to your philanthropy and tell me the story.

621
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 2: I think it's great about you heard a story once

622
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: about how I'm just going to say it candidly and

623
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 2: I'll let you unfold it so people don't think I'm

624
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: a misogynistic jerk. How you found out that men were

625
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 2: better fundraisers than women and you wanted to fix that,

626
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 2: So tell us that. So because you've made a farce

627
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 2: out of that misnomer, but I think it kind of

628
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 2: sparked you, so tell me about it.

629
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: It was definitely a part of the story. I had

630
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: heard a story about a church that had gotten in

631
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 1: financial trouble, and so the lead pastor called in the

632
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: senior staff, and they called in the head of the

633
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: men's guild and the head of the women's guild and

634
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: laid out the problem and they needed to raise a

635
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: lot of money really quickly. So the senior staff went

636
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 1: out and they collected receivables. They tried to get extended payments.

637
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 1: They did everything they could to cut costs, to sell things,

638
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: to downplay. The head of the women's guild went out

639
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 1: and she gathered her team. In my word, they had

640
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: bake sales, they had car washes, they had rummage sales.

641
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,320
Speaker 1: They worked, and in two weeks she happened.

642
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 4: Point all of the all of the stereotypical women thing

643
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 4: to do, right, go.

644
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: Out and raise money. This is what we're gonna do.

645
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 2: I'm gonna work our fingers to the bone and do

646
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: all these school things at bake cookies and have a.

647
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: And they all did it. They were all in, all

648
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: these women, and they worked harder than they had ever done.

649
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, working hard.

650
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: She was so proud to deliver this big check to

651
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: the pastor of I think it was eight thousand dollars.

652
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 1: A lot of money, A lot of money.

653
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 2: A lot of work. Well, that's a lot of bacon, a.

654
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 1: Bad there is a lot of bacon. Well, as she's

655
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: getting ready to walk out, the head of the men's

656
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: guild walks in, and she's curious, feeling probably cocky and

657
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: a little competitive.

658
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, why not?

659
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: Sure they work their tails off. Well, he handed a

660
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: check to the pastor that was many times more than

661
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:26,479
Speaker 1: what she did, like a number like twenty five grand,

662
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: like a lot of money. And she said, ego, killer,

663
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 1: I don't get it. I don't get it. How is

664
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: this possible in the.

665
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 2: You guys cooked or baked exactly.

666
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you lift a finger.

667
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 2: We've been working our butts off. What'd you do for

668
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 2: your twenty five dude? Yeah?

669
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: And he said, well, I thought about what I thought

670
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: my family could give, and I wrote that check. And

671
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 1: then I called my friends, and I saw Joe on

672
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 1: the golf course, and I saw so and so here,

673
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 1: and my friends are generous and they believe in the church,

674
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: and so you know, that's how I did it. And

675
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 1: what struck me about that is that the women, it

676
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: wasn't just one, this whole group of women, they all

677
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: knew the situation. Not one of them thought maybe I

678
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: can write a check now one of them thought that.

679
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: They all thought, we've got to roll up our sleeves

680
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: and we've got to find a way to make something

681
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 1: from nothing. And the men had an entirely different view. Now,

682
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 1: my banking background tells me that it was only in

683
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: the middle seventies that women could do anything outside the

684
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: home in a meaningful way. But it was like nineteen

685
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: eighty four that women could own their own credit card

686
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 1: without having a father, a brother, or a husband or

687
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: you serious sign.

688
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 2: You're telling me? And up until nineteen eighty four, a

689
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:06,479
Speaker 2: woman could not have her own credit card. What about

690
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: a single, unmarried woman, she.

691
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 1: Could not get bank credit?

692
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: If you was kidding me.

693
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: It took a law to change that in the wall

694
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: for a banking regulation. Is I guess it now?

695
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 2: Now? See this is what I said. I mean, this

696
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: is not in my notes, So you're telling me in

697
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty three, when I was Telborne High School, my

698
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:41,760
Speaker 2: mom couldn't get a credit card unless her father co signed.

699
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: So don't hold me to the exact day. I can

700
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 1: tell you this. She couldn't get alone if she wanted

701
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: to start a lumber company, or if she wanted to

702
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: start a dry cleaning business, or if she wanted to

703
00:42:55,640 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: fill in the blank. She tip she was typically unable

704
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 1: to get any kind of credit unless it was co

705
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: signed by a husband or brother, a father, by a man.

706
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 2: So I looked it up after the interview, and what

707
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 2: Wendy was saying is absolutely true. And even shocking to me.

708
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,879
Speaker 2: Until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act was signed into law

709
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 2: in nineteen seventy four. We're not talking nineteen twenty here.

710
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 2: Nineteen seventy four, banks could refuse to issue women a

711
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 2: credit card if they were applying for it on their

712
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: own without a man co signing for it. I know,

713
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: you know, I am flabbergasted at that.

714
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: You had women who, now, we were able to work

715
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 1: outside the home, and we were making.

716
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: Our own miss starting to do that, and.

717
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 1: We were able to do that. But when you look

718
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 1: at how philanthropy started in this country and everywhere, men

719
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: went off and worked every day. Women stayed home and

720
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 1: took care of the kids. And when the kids were

721
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: old enough to be in school for a little while,

722
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: women had free time. And the way they used their

723
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: free time, other than cleaning the house and doing all

724
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: the things that women did, is they would go out

725
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: and serve the community. They would go and volunteer, they

726
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: would help each other, they would check and knitting circles,

727
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 1: and they would do all of that.

728
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I have to interrupt you. I'm going

729
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,399
Speaker 2: to tee this up for you and let you work

730
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: on it. Okay, okay, some would say that was a

731
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 2: better time.

732
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I would not say that that was a

733
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: better time unfolded. Here's the thing. There are women for

734
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:04,399
Speaker 1: whom that option is ideal, and so I believe when

735
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:08,320
Speaker 1: we get too prescriptive about what a quote real woman

736
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: might be or not be, then I think there are

737
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 1: women who ought to be able to choose that path

738
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 1: and thrive and enjoy it and not be judged for it.

739
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: I also think that there are plenty of women who

740
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: would choose another option. So I believe that until all

741
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: women can live there to their fullest potential, right, we

742
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 1: are short changing society. Because what I can tell you

743
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 1: is better decisions are made when you have multiple lived experiences.

744
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: And so I'm not going to ask you this, and

745
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,439
Speaker 1: you can feel free to cut all of this out

746
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: of whatever. But I don't know how many women you

747
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: have working with you. But if you have all white

748
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: men of a certain age, whatever your age I think

749
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: you said you're in your mid fifties, If you have

750
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: a bunch of fifty year old white men making all

751
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: the decisions, you are likely missing part of the story.

752
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 1: Because women who have different lived experiences bring different perspectives,

753
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: and so when and Frankly, although everything we've talked about

754
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 1: is how great women can be to each other, Unfortunately,

755
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 1: sometimes women are not great to each other, and sometimes

756
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: it's women fighting women like gosh, you shouldn't work outside

757
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: the home, or you you know you should work outside

758
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: the home. My chance on this is each of us

759
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: come with our own unique gifts. We have to make

760
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 1: sure that society, that the economy, that the places we

761
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 1: live work in play allow women to be who they

762
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: were born to be, whether that is to go be

763
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 1: an engineer, or to be a stay at home mom,

764
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 1: or to be a teacher, or a physician or a

765
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 1: scientist or fill in the blank. We need to do

766
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,280
Speaker 1: that in the same way that we need to allow

767
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 1: men to be exactly who they were born to be,

768
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: whether that's stay home and raise kids, be a nurse,

769
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: be a teacher, be an engineer.

770
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 2: So you're saying, there's gender stereotypes that existed in the

771
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 2: seventies and eighties that were rightly broken in our society,

772
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 2: but we still have a long way to go exactly Okay,

773
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 2: So back to your story. The guys made a few

774
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,240
Speaker 2: phone calls, wrote a check and raised twenty five grand.

775
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 2: The women worked their butts off for three weeks and

776
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 2: raised eight And the difference was that the cultural norm

777
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 2: of the time was that a man could write a

778
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 2: check and a woman couldn't. Right now, See, I found

779
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 2: that interesting.

780
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: And it wasn't make no mistake. There was no man,

781
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 1: at least none that I've ever heard of. There were

782
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 1: no men ever saying to women, don't you write that check?

783
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: I was the thing.

784
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: It was a cultural monsense.

785
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: It was inherent. And so the old ways of women

786
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 1: being involved in the community, it was all time based

787
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: because that was the asset they had, but not anymore.

788
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. So, Wendy, you decided that you

789
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 2: wanted to surround yourself with some check writing women, tell

790
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 2: me about it.

791
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: What I knew is that So when I moved to Cincinnati,

792
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 1: I got involved in the community in a big way

793
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 1: because I didn't know anyone. And that's how I met people.

794
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: I was finding women who would tell me all the

795
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 1: reasons why they couldn't be involved in the community and

796
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: the ways that I was trying to bring them in.

797
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: So I was doing some work for a local for

798
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: the local zoo at one point and for a local

799
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: hospital at another, and we were either putting on a

800
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: gala because that's the way we raise money, or we

801
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: were working on another campaign to help raise money for

802
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: the Civic Garden Club and others. And the women, even

803
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 1: if they were interested in what I was doing, they

804
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: had reasons that they said they couldn't do it. They

805
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: would say, well, I can't really justify to pass sitter

806
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: ten dollars an hour because I'm a stay at home

807
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 1: mom so that I can go volunteer with you. Or

808
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: they would say I work for Procter and Gamble, I

809
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 1: travel all the time. I can't go to these regular meetings. Now,

810
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: in my world, I was still a private banker, but

811
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: every bank i'd ever worked for value community service. So

812
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 1: I never had to take a vacation day to go

813
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: serve my community. I never had to take time off

814
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 1: to serve on a board of a nonprofit. And that

815
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 1: was my discernment in a future employer.

816
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 2: I hear that, and I think about the mom who

817
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 2: says I really can't afford I don't think it's right

818
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 2: to pay a sitter so that I can go, because

819
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 2: the amount of money they're paying a sitter is probably

820
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 2: not really the deterrent, but it feels like it, Oh understand,

821
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 2: but that is also to me cultural and even maybe

822
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 2: touches paternalism a little.

823
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think that there are lots

824
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: of negotiations that happen in families when women choose to

825
00:50:56,320 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: stay home, that it's you know, they may be on a.

826
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 2: Budget because mean, it wreaks a barefoot and pregnant to me,

827
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: it just does.

828
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know that that stay at home

829
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 1: moms would necessarily feel that way.

830
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that, but at particular instance, you can,

831
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 2: you can absolutely feel that.

832
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely cultural.

833
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 2: Barrier, I guess for some folks, definitely. And so you

834
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,399
Speaker 2: saw that and wanted to break through.

835
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: I did, And during my time when my kids were little,

836
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 1: there were times in my life where I was a

837
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 1: full time stay at home mom, where I worked part

838
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: time or when I worked full time. But because community

839
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:44,800
Speaker 1: service was always very important to me, when we built

840
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: the budget of can I stay home, there was a

841
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 1: component of community service. There was a component of me

842
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 1: not staying home all day every day, but getting help,

843
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 1: you know, help with kids, maybe help even sometimes with cleaning.

844
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 1: But the idea was it's negotiated like on the front end,

845
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: but you have to know what you need in order

846
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: to do the math right, got it. So that's what

847
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 1: was happening. And ninety percent of what women were involved

848
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,240
Speaker 1: in was time based, and when you don't have time,

849
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 1: you can't participate.

850
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 2: And that's how the rise the twenty five thousand dollars

851
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: the men do when it's time based and you're squeezing

852
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 2: every little time you can out between a job, children, whatever, exactly.

853
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 1: So so it's time to change that. Now. I sat

854
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: with the spiral notebook of every objection I'd heard, and

855
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: I started just figuring it out.

856
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 2: That's funny.

857
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 1: And as a banker, I knew the part of the

858
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 1: equation was women had to give enough to remember it now.

859
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 1: Remember in these days there were workplace campaigns and you

860
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: would give pre tax and therefore you wouldn't feel it.

861
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: And what I know to be true and new then

862
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: is that it's important as a donor to be connected

863
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 1: to the gift. If you take it out of my

864
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,919
Speaker 1: paycheck and I never missed it, I likely won't feel

865
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 1: connected to the organization that it's going to.

866
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 2: That's a good point.

867
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 1: So if I leave my place of employment and my

868
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: new job doesn't do that same thing, I don't necessarily

869
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: have an infinity.

870
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 2: Got pretax take it out of my check too. Almost

871
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 2: feels like I'm checking a box to make myself feel good,

872
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 2: but not because I'm truly engaging in a philanthropic endeavor

873
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:44,320
Speaker 2: in my heart.

874
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:47,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and you can't really get connected because you

875
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 1: don't see it. And it's just like being connected to

876
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:54,839
Speaker 1: your other taxes that get pulled out and your you know,

877
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: whatever goes into your IRA, like those things they just

878
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 1: go away, right, and your day to day thought is

879
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: about what you live on. So my theory was, if

880
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 1: I could gather at least one hundred women who each

881
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: wrote a check for one thousand dollars, one thousand dollars

882
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 1: is a stop and think gift. Now, I was thirty

883
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: eight years old, I myself had never written a check

884
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: for one thousand dollars to a single charity. I'd never

885
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: done it, but I figured I could, And I also

886
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: knew the power of that that if we could get

887
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 1: one hundred women to write a check for one thousand dollars,

888
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: pool one hundred percent of it, so there'd be no

889
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 1: talk of you know, what percent is going to this

890
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,240
Speaker 1: and what percent is going to that. The one hundred

891
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,240
Speaker 1: percent would be pulled in a grant and then offered

892
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 1: right back to the local community where these women lived,

893
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 1: worked and played. The nonprofits would then apply for those grants.

894
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:02,280
Speaker 1: If women wanted to understand the process, if they wanted

895
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: to get involved, they would be trained how to read

896
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 1: a grand application, how to make a site visit. Ultimately,

897
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 1: we would through our membership, identify five finalists, one in

898
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: each focus area, so we would be women giving to community,

899
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: not necessarily women funding women and girls. And so these find.

900
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 2: Women given communities the way the men at the Catholic

901
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 2: Church did not by having a bakeoff exactly. And isn't

902
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 2: there ironically.

903
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: Some kind of power in that huge power, huge power.

904
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 1: Once you have written that check for one thousand dollars,

905
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 1: your worldview starts to change, right, But it also it

906
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: really changes when you're when you're giving away. In our

907
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 1: very first year, when this was just dreamt up, one

908
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty three women wrote a check and we

909
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,720
Speaker 1: gave away a single grant of one hundred and twenty

910
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 1: three thousand dollars. This is after fielding over one hundred

911
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: grant applications.

912
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 2: Wow.

913
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 1: And then we identified five finalists, one in each.

914
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 2: Book is categories education. And these categories haven't changed.

915
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 1: No, they haven't changed.

916
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 2: By the way, what year are we talking. We're talking

917
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 2: twenty something.

918
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: Two thousand and one. Summer of two thousand and one,

919
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:39,360
Speaker 1: I had the idea and we so that was summer

920
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: nine to eleven happened. So everything really changed. At the

921
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: end of October, we met as a board for the

922
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 1: first time to say are we going to do this

923
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 1: or not do this? We decided to go ahead. We

924
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 1: got our nonprofit status five oh one c three by

925
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 1: March of two. By May, one hundred and twenty three

926
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: women at hand to us a check. We couldn't take

927
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 1: credit cards like it was literally a paper check. We

928
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 1: got about one hundred and twelve or one hundred and

929
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 1: fourteen grand applications across the five focus areas are education, Environment,

930
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 1: health and wellness, Arts and culture, and family. When all

931
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: those five areas.

932
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 2: Are save those again, say those again.

933
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 1: Education, Environment, Arts and culture, Health and wellness and family.

934
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 2: So you got five grants five You got five of

935
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 2: these five categories and one hundred people applying for this

936
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 2: one hundred and twenty three grand yeap. How do you

937
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 2: decide who gets it?

938
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 1: The women who joined, they signed up to serve on

939
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: one of these focusary committees. When the nonprofits applied, they

940
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,760
Speaker 1: applied to one of these committees.

941
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 2: Oh, the one hundred and twenty three check writing women

942
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: exactly are on each one of these committees, and each

943
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 2: committee as a committee chair exactly.

944
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 1: So the idea is part of what impact one hundred

945
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: does is it democratizes philanthropy.

946
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 2: So today and then that's cool, it democratizes philanthropy.

947
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 1: Well, if you can write a really big check to

948
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: let's just say the art museum. You can write a

949
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 1: really big check to the art museum. You can tell

950
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: them what to name the exhibit, you can tell them

951
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: what art is allowed to be brought in.

952
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 2: I understand what you're saying. Though.

953
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 1: You might even be able to design the architecture of

954
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 1: the room. If I write a check for one thousand dollars,

955
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 1: I'll get a tax letter. I might be listed in

956
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 1: the see of names of givers, maybe in their annual

957
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,680
Speaker 1: report or on their website. I won't know when they

958
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: spend the money. I don't know how they spend the money.

959
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: And if I ask, I'll probably just hear crickets like

960
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 1: they aren't equipped to tell me what happens. Now if

961
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: in partnership with one hundred and twenty two other women,

962
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: we decide where the money goes. And so if a

963
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: woman has the time and the interest, she will learn

964
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: how to read an application, how to vet it, how

965
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 1: to do a site visit. But if she doesn't have

966
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 1: the time, it's still one woman, one donation, one vote.

967
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: So if someone's wealthy enough to write a check for

968
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars, she can't buy her.

969
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 2: Tell me about that first time there's one hundred and

970
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 2: twenty three votes and you tell it them up. Yes,

971
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 2: that is so cool.

972
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 1: It was really cool.

973
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 2: All of it went to one one cause, Yeah, phenomenal.

974
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 1: Because the other thing that I learned, so I knew

975
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: what women needed, but I also knew what the nonprofit

976
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 1: world needed. And if you talk to anyone running a

977
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 1: nonprofit today fundraisers, they're out asking for money all the time,

978
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: and when they get it, they get ten thousand here

979
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: in fifteen thousand there. It's wonderful. It does move the

980
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: needle a little bit, but it's a lot like that

981
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 1: manna from heaven. You have it today, but tomorrow you

982
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 1: better be out there again gathering because but one hundred.

983
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 2: And twenty three grand is a real number.

984
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 1: Now it's a game changer. Now they can really do

985
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: something that is sustainable and transformational. Those are the lenses

986
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: we look at.

987
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 2: And that concludes part one of my conversation with Wendy Steele,

988
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 2: and I hope you'll listen to part two that's now available.

989
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 2: The Impact one hundred story is really just getting started.

990
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 2: And guys, I really want to take a moment to

991
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 2: stress one thing. While giving a thousand dollars sounds like

992
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 2: a lot, and I mean it is. It's a lot

993
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 2: of money for most of us. Maybe if you step

994
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 2: back and put it in context, it becomes more achievable.

995
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 2: If you take one thousand dollars and divide it by

996
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 2: three hundred and sixty five days in the year, that's

997
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: two dollars and seventy three cents a day, y'all's that's

998
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 2: less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks. And if

999
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 2: you consider what that two dollars and seventy three cents

1000
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 2: a day has done for all the people throughout the organization,

1001
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 2: maybe that context helps you think about how much a

1002
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 2: thousand dollars is and really how much it isn't and

1003
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 2: the impact of this type of gift upon ourselves is

1004
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 2: way more than that dollar amount could ever account for.

1005
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 2: Guys I'll see in Part two.